Chapter 8: Not A Monster

This chapter has been a long time coming, and with valuable input from friends, I can safely say this will be nearing the end. I have decided to not continue past Bella's transformation. So many have written that and I really want to sift through Edward's mind about Bella's pregnancy. Metamorphosis by LivesAmongTheStars is a great one. You guys are amazing, though. Thank you for reading, adding this to your favorites, watch lists, whatever. I really, really appreciate it!

I dedicate this chapter to several lovely ladies: Segolily, L.M. Wilson, Camilla and Books. You guys are made of many levels of awesome and deserves so much more. Thanks, you guys.

Plan: Two more chapters, to wrap up nicely. Then a break.

Music: Teenagers by My Chemical Romance, Storm by Lifehouse, and Panic Attack by Dream Theater.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The past few weeks have been the most beautiful of my existence. Marrying Bella was the only thing on my mind. How to sneak peeks at her in Alice's mind, to perchance, see my beautiful fiancée in white. How to find ways to stay with Bella longer than necessary, longer than what was gentlemanly of me, just to feel her skin underneath mine a little longer. How I longed to simply be closer to her any way, shape or form, without piercing her precious, silky neck.

I longed for her to be my wife and, if I was being honest with myself, longed to make her mine in all the ways that counted toward a man.

True, I had waited over a century. That was nothing. No one had turned my head like she had. Sure, I had had offers in the past, but nothing compared to her beauty. Nothing in this world could compare to her, I was sure of it. I would never want another for eternity.

Another day was approaching. A day that I didn't long for, but fought against with my entire being. The day that the creature would tear from Bella's womb and wreak havoc, destroying its mother in the process. I grew sick, wishing I was human long enough to vomit. Anything to remove the pit in my stomach that hadn't held anything in nearly one hundred years.

=-=-=-=-==-=

My thoughts were relatively calm as I heard Rosalie and Alice chattering away about their latest shopping excursion. They had taken a flight to Paris, shopped over the weekend, and came back tonight. And apparently, both Rosalie and Alice were keeping their thoughts hidden from me.

I met them at the door.

“So, sisters, how was the shopping trip?” I asked, leaning casually against the door frame as Rosalie and Alice carried their multitude of bags from Alice's yellow Porsche. The bags were in light pinks, reds and golds, with a few smaller white bags tucked here and there. Each read names of famous French designers: Dolce & Gabbana, Eres, Aubade, Guia La Bruna , and, interestingly enough: Swan. Very clever.

Rosalie's face looked smug; she knew exactly she was holding and yet wasn't going to show me. Which, of course, kept me very curious.

“No, I'm not telling you what's in the bags, Edward” Alice said, glancing in my direction from her pace into the house, up the stairs and into her and Jasper's bedroom. Rosalie followed close behind.

“That's right, my dear brother. Alice and I spent a great deal to,” she began, sending a knowing glance in Alice's direction. Both of them sniggered. “make your honeymoon as interesting as possible.”

Of course. My mind could think of only one thing when it came to my dear sisters, my Bella and our honeymoon in the same sentence: lingerie.

In my time, as far as I recalled, lingerie consisted of bloomers, corsets and petticoats. Nowadays, lingerie left little the imagination. And as far as French designer lingerie.... well, there was no telling my sister 'No' and no telling what my bride and I had in store.

I gulped, not needing it, but the same feeling applied. Alice and Rosalie burst into giggles again, their thoughts drifting in and out of their own bedroom romps. I rolled my eyes and decided it was time to see Bella.

After all, I was a gentleman and all this talk of lingerie was making me uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable from the anticipation, that is.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

On the night of my bachelor party, my brothers insisted I go. I was in no particular mood to celebrate the leaving of my bachelor days; no, I look forward to my days as a married man to my wife. And the night before was of no exception. I stayed at Bella's house, Charlie was fast asleep in the next room. I wrapped her tightly in her favorite quilt, one that she said her Grandma had knitted for her long ago. She was warm, flustered and smelled exquisite.

We had been 'practicing' as she called it, for the honeymoon, and that night was so lovely. Locked in her loving embrace, placing delicate kisses on her cheeks, shoulders, collarbone. Lingering near her throat, taking in her aroma. It was heavenly. I couldn't imagine anything better than this.

Well, except for what the next night would bring. I looked forward to that more than I let on. I didn't want to scare her, but in reality, I had waited over ninety years for this woman. This beautiful, pure woman. And I had a lot of love stored for her and only her. The things I would do with her, for her.... my mind raced nearly faster than I could hold the images flooding my mind. It was almost sinful.

But in such a good way.

I turned my thoughts back from the honeymoon to the present. Carlisle and Esme were facing the river, in the den. Carlisle whispered something to Esme. I'm sure I could hear it, but I wasn't really paying attention to catch the words. Esme's face, my mother's face, turned up in something between an expression of sorrow and muted delight. The look of a wary grandmother hoping for a smooth pregnancy for her daughter-in-law, I picked out from Carlisle's head. Even he was looking a little less concerned of the situation, now that the fetus was getting what it wanted.

Bella did drink it. She drank quite a number of bags that afternoon, probably to make up for the days past. She did, however vomit some back up a few times, which made me grow alarmed. Carlisle figured it was a reaction because she was still human and she couldn't tolerate blood like she would if she was a vampire. Needless to say, I watched over her vigilantly.

I hadn't heard from Jasper, Emmett and Alice for a while. They were most likely upstairs, away from the scent, the human fluids. Jasper still was having trouble adjusting, as I figured. I used to think he would never be able to adjust, but after the past two years with Bella, hell the past three days with Bella, nothing seemed impossible anymore.

Jacob visited again. He spoke a little to Bella, noting how cold she was. I kept more blankets on hand and wrapped her up immediately, keeping her swathed like a cocoon. Rosalie scrunched up her nose in disgust at Jacob's entrance but said nothing, aimlessly flipping through the channels on the television. Bella's head was at the far end of the couch, and her sock feet in my lap. I carefully rubbed them, feeling how her feet had swollen some. Esme told me that it was common for the mother to have swollen feet, mostly due to the weight and water gain. So, like the good husband I pretended to be, I rubbed her swollen, aching, human feet.

Truly, if I was a good husband to Bella, she wouldn't be in this situation. We would have known about this possibility and I would have never consented to consummating our relationship before she was changed.

But, fact was, there was nothing I could do about it. The burning man returned again.

Bella and Jacob chattered back and forth, avoiding the proverbial elephant in the room.

I smiled at Jacob. Bella's face broke like the morning dawn, and I felt that inner twinge of jealousy. I agreed with Jacob's thoughts. I knew Bella loved me, beyond all reason apparently, beyond sanity, but here she was, beaming like... like she still loved him. It was foolish of me to think that somehow asking her to marry me would remove all former affections for that dog. But, as I stared into Bella's eyes, I saw something I hadn't before. She was looking at Jacob, but it was like the light that flickered in her eyes was deeper somehow. Like it didn't exactly come from her, but from something else. So strange...

I had heard most of the conversation between Jacob and his pack. He was becoming increasingly at ease with Leah and Seth, but he was still wound tightly like a coil. I was afraid he would snap and I didn't want him anywhere near Bella when that happened. She told him to get some sleep. Her voice was so strong, so much healthier.

“You look dead tired, Jake,” she mentioned, motioning with her arm toward the armchair in the corner of the room.

Jacob rolled his eyes at Bella and I watched as Jacob counted aloud, trying to prove her wrong.

“Where's the flood, mutt?” Rosalie piped up, her eyes never leaving the screen. Such dry wit, Rose.

“You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.”

I chuckled. There were dozens of blonde jokes and jabs through the years for her, but right now, I think I just might tolerate Jacob more. Now that he was taunting my sister.

“I've already heard that one!

Jacob turned to leave, reaching for the door and was out on the lawn. Rosalie said something getting up to wash the stink out and left for the upstairs bathroom.

And don't go doing anything you'll regret, Edward. You agreed to stay still as long as Bella is well.

In truth, I did agree to not begging Bella to get rid of it anymore. But if there was some way that Bella could see that this thing was killing her... was going to take her away from me, maybe she might concede. There just had to be a way.

But for now, as promised (and a gentleman always keeps his promises), I stayed with Bella on the sofa, wrapping the afghan around her, then my myself as well.

I reached out to Bella, cupping her warm cheek with my hand. Her temperature had went up. Perhaps my coolness would do her good. She blushed and smiled. And I pulled out what I thought was a smile, too. It wasn't genuine, but I hoped it worked for her. Anything to keep her happy, healthy and alive.

I watched her twirl her wedding band around on the chain around her neck. She had gained weight and her fingers and toes swelled. Her engagement ring and wedding band didn't fit anymore, so I took the liberty of giving her a silver chain to string them both on. I would do the same, so we would match, but I actually loved seeing that glimmering band on my own finger.

I didn't have a penchant for such frivolous trinkets and jewelry but this, the groom's band, made me feel a part of her somehow. To know that she was mine, and, undoubtedly, I was hers forever.

I continued to stroke her cheek, caressing her face with butterfly kisses. She sighed and rubbed her stomach every once in a while. We sat there, like during our honeymoon, just simply being in each other's company.

“Edward,” she spoke softly, just above a whisper. “I love you so much.”

I looked into those precious chocolate pools of eyes. Always sure, always loving, always Bella.

“I love you, too, Bella.”

She turned back around, reached her little hand behind her and placed it in my hair, rubbing the back of my neck. I chuckled and kissed the top of her head, letting my lips linger in her silky hair. I moved only to kiss her ear, then her just below that, to her neck, kissing the artery that lead from her neck to her heart. I felt the pulse come alive, pumping wildly, as my lips left. I heard her chuckle as I continued kissing down the side of her neck and making my way down her shoulder.

“I don't think you'll ever stop doing that to my heart,” she said.

I froze my ministrations long enough to realize the impact of her words. I would stop doing that to her heart. Whether it was me physically stopping it with my venom or the fetus...

She noticed I had stopped, and turned to look at me.

“Edward, what's wrong?”

Wasn't that the question of the century. “Nothing's wrong, love” I said politely, giving her a gentle hug. “I was just thinking, that's all.”

“About my change, right?”

Dammit, she was too intuitive some times. But that is one of the reasons I loved her so much.

“Yes,” I answered, lowly. She took my chin in her hand and I let it pull her toward her.

“I love you, Edward. I mean it. I wouldn't be here, on a couch, in your house, wearing your wedding band if I loved someone else, now would I?”

She had me there. But she forgot the other thing, the reason she was on this couch in the first place rather than back on the island where we should be.

“Besides, I enjoyed our 'practice' kissing before the wedding... mind if we 'try' some more?”

She grinned, and I couldn't help but grin slightly back. She pulled closer and I leaned down to kiss her gently, allowing myself to memorize the way her lips molded to my own, how heated they felt, how the simply spark of her livelihood, her very essence, made me feel more alive now than I had in my nearly one hundred years walking this earth.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, however, I was reminded that I should keep this memory with me. I wouldn't have her for much longer.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Days past, with more things happening. There was one day that I felt totally incapacitated. I didn't know what to do with myself. I had spoke to Jacob, mostly to appease Esme, (and somewhat to clear my conscience of wanting to kill the mutt) about lending anything we had on hand for him. Esme had worked hard to carefully wash and dry some of our clothes for Jacob, Leah and Seth. The vampire scent most likely wouldn't drown out completely, but she had used as much bleach and detergent as possible with the clothing. Alice had shopped so much for all of us, we could never wear the clothing more than once. It was all destined for Goodwill sooner or later.

He agreed to tell Leah and Seth and I thanked him. Just then, a sharp crack, then cry a pierced my ears. I dashed into the house, to find Bella scrunched in pain on the couch. The inevitable. Rosalie held her, brushing her arms softly in comfort. Carlisle, Esme and I hovered over her. Alice just stayed at the top of the stairs, her fists pressed against her head, feeling as inadequate as I felt. I could do nothing. Not one damn thing would help this situation other than placating and soothing my wife. I was killing her.

What's going on? Why can't I see anything? I didn't think vampires could have migraines... Alice thought.

I felt for my sister, but my attention was on Bella. Every time I tried to touch her, she shuddered again, the pain doubling her over. Carlisle asked Bella urgently if he could look, but Bella panted and told him to give her a minute.

This doesn't look good...I heard Carlisle mutter in his mind, before quickly moving on to something else.

I knew what was the crack and I was burning with hatred for the evil thing inside her. Why wouldn't she just let us take care of the thing? She would live and I would not rescind my proposal for her and Jacob. But this... this was what made my hope die. The fetus was gaining strength, as was Bella. But if that thing was anything like me, like its father, it would be stronger than her. And, inevitably, break something in my wife's frail body.

“Pretty sure it was a rib... ow, yep.”

Carlisle needed an x-ray, and Bella agreed. Before I could pick up my wife, Rosalie already had her in her arms. I leveled my gaze at her. Rosalie bared her teethed and let a warning growl slide through

“I've already got her!” she spat.

I would argue, I wanted to argue and rip Bella from my sister's arms. But I knew that this would only harm Bella in the end. So, I swallowed my pride and said nothing. But I did keep my gaze leveled.

Rosalie and I kept on his heels. His study had been transformed into an examining room. His tools, machines, everything he could pilfer from the hospital was here. Rosalie laid Bella on the examining table, Bella still panting from the break. I was still glaring at Rosalie. She caught my gaze when Carlisle was setting up the x-ray.

“Edward, I told you well before: things like this happen in normal pregnancies all the time,” she whispered so low Bella would never hear.

“But this is not a normal pregnancy, Rosalie” I hissed, at vampire speed.

“Oh just shut the hell up for once, Edward. Really, you think you know everything!”

“Why don't you keep your damn hands off my wife and stay the hell away from her, Sister!” I whispered back, on the verge of my regular voice.

“Children,” Carlisle said, with authority. I knew that tone. We were acting like bickering siblings, but for once, I wish he would tell my sister to just keep her mouth shut. Bella was my wife and my responsibility, not her pet project.

I held Bella's hand, rubbing my thumb in a circle on her palm, as Carlisle set the machine up. Rosalie stroked her cheek. After a few minutes, Carlisle had concluded that it was a break. I shut my eyes tight and pinched the bridge of my nose between my forefinger and thumb. Of course it was a break. The thing was stronger than her now because we fed it. Would this nightmare ever end? But, of course, I knew the answer to that. And maybe when.

Carlisle gingerly tapped Bella up, from navel to just below her breasts, securing her. Seeing her like this just made it even worse. The curious sensation of my chest burning left me gasping for air. I knew I was to blame for this all. If I hadn't said 'yes' to her request, if I had merely—

No. I can't change the past. But I couldn't think of anything to change the future. Sure, she was a little stronger, but so was the THING inside her. Bella and the fetus were so intertwined now I almost didn't know where she began and the fetus began. Growing inside her like a cancerous tumor.

Rosalie took the initiative to carry her downstairs, too. I just followed behind, watching for any shift on Bella's part. Once Bella was settled, I curled up next to her on the couch before Rosalie could protest. I wrapped her in a blanket again, to keep myself from leaching her warmth. Soon, Bella fell asleep and the sun's rays began peeking through the room, dimly. It was nearing morning.

=-=-=-=-=-=

We continued to sit there, staring numbly at the television when Seth knocked once and came in. I smiled. Seth's mind was always refreshing. I heard in his mind that he was ravenous. I perked an eyebrow at him.

“Hungry?” I asked him.

He grinned. “Um, I guess you heard that, huh?”

“Yes, I did. We have regular food here, too. I could cook you something if you'd like that.”

“Sure.”

Rosalie took my post at Bella's side, while I ambled into the kitchen to fix something for Seth. He followed me in, asking how I had learned to cook.

“It was before I had plotted to take Bella to the prom last year,” I chuckled, remembering how mad she was about being Alice's 'Guinea Pig Barbie' as she called it. As Alice cared for her during the day, when I wasn't allowed near Bella, I wanted to do something human for her for prom. I started watching The Food Network.”

Seth laughed. “I guess that makes sense. You can't test the food out, so who helped you?”

“Charlie did. I spent all Saturday day cooking in Bella's kitchen. I thought the dinner I prepared would be awful, but Charlie tasted all of the meal. It had his stamp of approval.”

I took out eggs and bacon from the refrigerator, greasing the skillet. I cracked three in the pan and poured a little milk, too. Quickly, I whipped out another pan and started frying the bacon. The smell was revolting to me, but Seth just moaned. Bella would be hungry, too and breakfast was exactly what she would want. And Seth ate every bit of it. I made enough in case Jacob or Leah would want some, too. I pulled out cinnamon rolls and placed them on a greased baking pan.

That should be enough for three hungry werewolves and a very pregnant woman I mused to myself. I had never really cooked for anyone other than Bella, so I had just assumed the portions. I had heard from human mothers before that their 'growing boys' would eat them 'out of house and home'. Certainly, I would not let this be the case.

“So,” he began, his thoughts jumbled, but then resting on Tanya. How odd.

“Are you guys going to leave?” he asked, his voice betraying him a little. Oh, Alaska. That was the plan before... before all this started. I would have missed him, too. Seth and I had become like brothers in the past few months. I never thought a werewolf and a vampire could bond together like this, but, then again, I was continually surprised at what life, my existence, had seen in my near-century.

I answered him carefully. “We're not leaving, Seth. Carlisle has medical access here that would take months, if not a few years, to build somewhere else. And,” I added, turning over the bacon and scrambling the eggs, “I don't want to move Bella. It could prove to be too strenuous for her and hurt her.”

“But you're running out of.... y'know, right?” he said, his face pinched, seemingly grossed out.

I smiled faintly. “Yes, we do need more type O-Negative. Bella and... the fetus had already depleted our stockpile we had on reserve for her change. Emmett and Jasper are going to take care of it.”

He flinched at that. “Take care of it?” he asked, with uncertainty. “Like taking it from real—”

“No, no,” I said, interrupting both his thought and speech. “They take what they can from the blood banks, usually the places with the least amount of witnesses.”

Seth took a whiff of the air and closed his eyes. His stomach rumbled loudly. “Are you going with them? Who'll stay with Bella?”

“I won't go. Rosalie will go with Emmett and Carlisle. Probably both. Rosalie went through medical school, too, you know,” I mentioned, off-handedly. Seth knew about my past decades as a medical student and seemed very enamored of having so much knowledge, but not much experience. I told him I wasn't Carlisle. Plain and simple.

I heard Bella stir and grabbed a plate. I quickly turned off the stove and oven, piling Seth's plate with as many scrambled eggs, bacon and cinnamon rolls as it would hold. I handed it to him and he looked as if I had given him a feast. He took a quick bite and his eyes rolled back into his head a little. “Man, these are good! You sure can cook!” he exclaimed. I chuckled and thanked him. Next, I filled up a plate for Bella. When I came back in, Carlisle was removing the IV from Bella. She pinched her face a little, but smiled when the needle was gone. I shook my head. She was so brave during certain times, yet such a scaredy-cat during others. Would I ever figure out her mind?

“Here, love,” I said, handing her the plate of food. “I hope you're hungry.”

“Oh, well, I am a little.” She grinned at me and pulled me close for a kiss. I pressed my lips delicately to hers, not wanting to hurt her. She was still so fragile to me. Rosalie had sat herself in front of Bella, and Alice was here, too. Strange, I thought she couldn't—

Oh. That was why.

Jacob and Seth were both in the living room. Jacob was lightly snoring and Seth was busy eating his breakfast next to Bella. Alice had found her aspirin. I took my place on the couch again, holding Bella's hand as she ate. After the whole plate was clean, I took it back to the kitchen.

Seth went back in the kitchen for seconds, while Rosalie and Jacob bickered a little, back and forth. He came back and told Jacob about that he and Leah took turns patrolling our land. He hadn't missed much, other than Bella becoming cheery again. Like all was right with the world. Jacob asked how she was doing and said “Fine, tapped up nice and tight.”

I ground my teeth together. She acted like it was nothing to have this inhuman thing growing inside her. Acting like a proud mommy-to-be. How long would it take for her to realize that this wasn't a normal pregnancy and that there was no baby in there, but a monster?

Carlisle asked about Jacob about hunting. Knowing the treaty he couldn't just let any one of us go hunting. I needed to hunt, that was sure, but I would not leave Bella right now. All my brothers and Carlisle would had to pulled me away kicking, screaming and biting them before I'd leave Bella's side.

Carlisle was hurting inside. His mental anguish of causing a rift between Jacob and Sam was at his forefront. He felt guilty and wondered how he could repair it.

God, if there is some way I can fix this... he prayed silently. I tuned him out. I gave Carlisle his space when began praying. Despite my own thoughts on the subject, I felt it was too private a conversation.

Jacob replied that it was nothing and there shouldn't be anything on 'Doc's' conscience. Carlisle smiled and decided that three at a time would be good. He then suggested that I would join them.

The look I gave him could peel paint and freeze him in place. He began backtracking immediately.

Then, later on, after another human moment, I heard a small crack and Bella gasp. I ran to her, finding her sitting on the floor. Rosalie was next to me, but I had Bella in my arms before she did. I whisked her upstairs to Carlisle. It was another crack in her rib.

That fetus was going to kill my wife, one way or another.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Bella ran a fever off and on today. Her immune system was very low, so I kept up with her. The only thing now was how to handle Bella's father. Charlie had been calling nearly non-stop. When he called this time, Bella begged to talk to him.

“Please, Edward? Just let me reassure Charlie and then it will be fine,” she pleaded.

As bad of an idea that was, I let her. I couldn't refuse her anything. So she chatted with Charlie off and on for about fifteen minutes, telling him every few minutes how she was “fine”. I now loathed that word in the English language. And probably any other language I knew.

Renee called, too. That wasn't near as bad. Her and her husband Phil were finishing up a few end-season games. She was ecstatic and kept the conversation away from Bella and more on her and her husband. I felt relieved for Renee's lack of focus in conversation.

Throughout the day, Seth and I switched back and forth keeping Bella both hot and cold. Like applying a cool rag to her forehead, or a heating pad for her fragile body.

Jacob stopped by a while later. I whispered she was alright. Or the same. Esme sat next to me, her arm around me. Trying to reassure me. Rosalie was upstairs with Bella. She was on another human moment.

Rosalie came back in, moments later, carrying my wife in her arms.

As my sister and the mutt jabbed each other back and forth, I watched Esme stand up and Rosalie placed Bella on the couch. I shifted to look at her. Bella's face's turned white as bone, her face pinched. Immediately, I swept my hand across her forehead and down her neck, as if to caress. A slight fever still, I could tell.

“Are you cold?”

“I'm fine.”

“Bella!” Rosalie exclaimed. “You know what Carlisle told you. Don't downplay anything. We can't help you or the baby that way.” She'll never get the proper care the baby needs if she doesn't tell the truth about everything her body needs or wants.

“Okay. I'm a little cold,” Bella admitted. “Edward, can you hand me that blanket?” Her eyes looked for me. I turned to grab the quilt off the side of the couch.

“Isn't that the point of me being here?” Jacob stated, flatly. I agreed. What was the point of him being here all the time? Was she really attached so much to her little puppy friend? I stopped and allowed him to sit next to her. His body heat would keep her warm, that's for sure. Bella had been telling him what to do, trying to mother him. Her instincts were always that of a mother's. The parent. It was then that I heard a buzzing noise. It was so low, I could barely hear it, but it was there. Like something out of range, such as a radio. I couldn't place it.

“Alice, do you hear that buzzing?” I asked her at vampire speed.

She gave me a cross look before retorting. “No, and are you sure you're not going batty?” She noted the color of my eyes. “You need to eat.”

“Not over my pile of ashes,” I said, keeping my focus on Bella's face. I heard Alice mentally huff and turn to Rose. She asked if Rosalie would get something for Jacob.

“I wouldn't want to eat something Blondie spit in. Venom wouldn't be too good for my system.”

“She would never disgrace Esme like that in front of guests,” Alice chimed.

“Of course not,” came Rosalie's answer, so saccharin-sweet I thought I saw a canary feather sticking out from her lips.

Jacob leaned over Bella to ask me, “You'd tell me if she poisoned it, right?”

I nodded my head absently. I kept hearing that buzzing sound and was curious where it was coming from. Where was it coming from? I kept getting bits and pieces of what was being said. That piqued my interest so I concentrated harder. It was then that Rosalie's mental voice broke out, over the buzzing I was hearing.

This would do it. A meal fit for a mutt.

I sighed and grinned. Rosalie had taken one of Esme's metal bowls and turned it in on itself, making a dog dish. Then filled it with the steak and potatoes from Seth's lunch.

She pranced out and sat the bowl on the floor. She even scratched 'Fido' on the side.

Rosalie sat in the armchair and flicking through channels. I watched Bella watch Jacob. There was just something about the way she looked at him that unnerved me to no end. What was it that bothered me so? She was my wife. She loved me. Yet, here she was, petting Jacob like he was the best thing in the world to her.

“So, um, what's the uh, date?” I heard Jacob casually ask. He was referring to her due date. “you know, the due date for the little monster?”

“I'm gonna wanna know how long I'm gonna have to be here.”

You and me both, Jacob. If Bella didn't survive, I wouldn't either. Simple.

“I don't know. Obviously, we're not going with the nine-month model here and I can't get an ultrasound. So Carlisle is guesstimating from how big I am.”

“Normal people are supposed to be about 40 centimeters around here,” pointing to her navel. “I was thirty this morning and gaining about 2 centimeters a day. Maybe more.”

So, what is that? Four days? He choked. I felt his anguish from here. I'm sure he was beyond mad at us all. I had heard before that we had just never came back, if he had his chance with her, none of this would have happened.

I almost agreed with him.

I kept my face away from them both. I worked hard to keep my face straight, void of any emotion. In four days time, she would die. She go to a place I was forever barred from. And I would find my void soon after. I would not stay in this world much longer after she was gone. Jacob would help me make sure of that.

It would be intolerable if these last few days would be taken from me early. I banked on those precious hours with her that I had left.

“I didn't think you would come,” Bella said. “Seth said you would, and Edward did, but I didn't believe them.”

I stared at the TV, keeping composure while Rosalie flipped through the channels. I heard it through Jacob's thoughts the whole time. He, just like me, was curious as to why Bella wanted him here. Why she smiled so brightly when he walked into the room. Why it seemed as if the sun rose and set on Jacob Black.

I stared out the windows, blanking my face.

“I feel complete now when you're around. You've always been part of my family.”

Jacob snorted. I wasn't paying attention, but something along the lines of “Jacob, I get a kick out of your pain. You like that better?” ran through his mind. I glanced over my shoulder, watching her face. She shut her eyes and frowned.

“We got off track,” she said, heavy-hearted. “You were supposed to be part of my life, but not like this. I did something wrong.”

Jacob asked her about her day, being noncommittal. When she mentioned that Charlie had called, he grew angry. She fell asleep after that and Jacob badgered me over the issue.

“Yes, I have talked over and over about the Charlie issue with her,” I said, shrugging my shoulders in defeat. Bella had an elaborate plan that included keeping her father both in the know and in the dark. He would make a wrong assumption and we would go along with it. She thinks she will be able to see him after she's changed... after her first newborn year.

I just went along with it. I was figuring the statistics. Bella, according to every piece of manuscript I could get my hands on, would not live.

“She's planning to live. But not human,” he said, flatly.

“No, not human. But she hopes to see Charlie again anyway.”

His face was even more angry. “See Charlie when she's all sparkly-white with the blood-red eyes?” She would kill him!

“She thinks she can stall and keep in contact through phone calls.”

Right, like Charlie is that stupid. He's not! He'll find some way to see her.... and then what? Death by his daughter sinking her teeth in his neck?

“I'll deal with whatever comes,” I said to him, emotion choking my throat. The fearful near future haunted me, leaving me suffocating and helpless. There was nothing I could do besides try to save her the only way I knew how. If it didn't work, I would die with her.

I told him briefly of the other mothers, of the woman we met while in South America. The legends, the myths, all were true. When the creature was born, it would rip its way out with its teeth.

“And the mothers?” Jacob asked, quietly. I didn't respond. He knew the answer as well as I did.

I burned again. I couldn't imagine a more painful thought than the very thing that had started this whole mess was myself. I let her talk me into it. I was more than willing, true to make love to her when we married, but this... I should have stopped before it went too far. I should have withdrew myself. I should have... I carried on mentally. No contraceptive in the world could have planned for this. I could practically hear the bitter harpy that hung over Bella so long laugh in my face, daring me to try to save her.

“Of course there were no survivors!” Rosalie said smugly. She went on claiming that such an environment could have never been healthy for a baby, much less the mother. Rarely did the normal pregnancies survive, much less the ones by the incubus. The way she phrased it, she was only giving proper attention to the baby. Like it was something precious. I curled my hands, crouching low, ready to pounce, when Jacob caught my eye.

“Allow me,” he spoke. He then retrieved the dish from the floor and hurled it at Rosalie's head, the food spilling over her hair and ricocheting off, snapping the top of the Newell post at the foot of the stairs.

A low hiss filled the room. “You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair!” she shrieked.

Served my sister right. I would have been slightly unhappy later if Emmett and I fought because I beheaded his wife.

I watched Jacob nearly double over in laughter, hearing Alice's tinkling laughter come from behind the sofa. I joined in, laughing at the absurdity of it all. But the noise had woken Bella and I turned to face her.

“What's so funny?”

“I got food in her hair!” Jacob chortled.

“Jacob, stop being mean to—”

I whipped over Jacob's frame and wrenched the blanket away from Bella. She was arched off the sofa cushions, her lips mashed tightly together. She looked like she was holding back a scream. I placed both my hands between her face, cradling her. “Carlisle!” I called.

Carlisle whisked into the room, looking over my Bella. He face was pinched, but, suddenly went slack. She sighed heavily and rubbed her womb.

“Okay, think it's over. Poor kid doesn't have enough room.”

Bella's affectionate tone for the fetus left me reeling. She kept referring to it as a him, like she knew for a fact it would be a male child. Laughable, when I knew there was only one thing it could be. Thirsty.

Carlisle took at Jacob. I cocked my head to the side. Could the fetus be that closely related to shapeshifters? It was possible, I guess. Nothing was mythical to me anymore.

The discussion grew, conversing the affects of the possibility of a male or female fetus, the and the possibility that maybe this creature would be like some super vampire of sorts. The best and worst of both kinds. I felt like I was in a science fiction movie gone horribly wrong. The ones that sat on the bottom shelves of a store. The kind no one rented.

I woke Jacob when Bella was warm enough. I thanked him, for both her and for him letting my family hunt. I owed so much to him. And still owed him even more.

It was only a few hours later that Jacob showed up again. I hadn't forgotten my conversation with Carlisle earlier. I hadn't forgotten anything that we had talked about during those quiet times in the middle of the night. When Bella was fast asleep, Rosalie watching over her like a mother hawk, and I was with Carlisle in the next room, debating over what to do next. I would deal with the consequences of my actions when the time came. And that time was coming faster. Like the aching arms of an old grandfather clock. Time slid by, leaving me reeling and gasping. Burning.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I thought it had fractured her pelvis this time.

I rushed up with, Bella in my arms, and laid her on the table. Carlisle had the machine whirring to life within minutes. I held her hand, kissing the back of her hand gently and caressing her cheek. I did whatever I could to soothe her when it was possible. Rosalie, ever the helpful one, just kept talking about the damn baby. How cute the baby will be! How darling the baby will be. The baby. The baby. The baby.

I was so sick of hearing it called a baby I wanted to scream and perform the abortion myself.

There was rustling downstairs and Alice answered the door. “Hey wolf,” she said, nonchalantly.

When Carlisle was finished, I scooped Bella up in my arms and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. I carried her back to her place on the couch.

“See? I told you I didn't hear a crack. Edward, you need your ears checked,” Rosalie said, her thoughts centered only on the baby. Baby this, baby that. I was so sick of hearing about that fetus being a baby I wanted to rip something apart.

Just like the fetus will do to Bella when it's ready to be born, my mind reminded me.

If Rosalie didn't get off my case, and soon, I would need Jasper, Carlisle and Emmett to keep me from ripping her limb from limb. She made me so furious that she could act so cavalier with my wife and her growing womb. Bella clutched at the cup of blood I had given her earlier. She awoke hungry and asked for eggs and blood this time. I gave her the eggs first.

“Jake,” she whispered. I sat on the floor by her head, watching the color drain from her as fast as she slurped from her cup. Conversation came up about hunting as far as Seattle. I wouldn't go. No gruesome physical need of my own could pry me away from Bella's side. Carlisle suggested that Rosalie, Emmett and I go. Rosalie snarled before I could make a sound.

“Not a chance!' she said, disapproval in her voice. “Emmett can go with you now.”

“You should hunt,” Carlisle gently suggested, in a diffusing tone.

“I'll hunt when he does,” she said, pointer her finger at me.

Needless to say, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Esme and Carlisle left to hunt. Rosalie divided the time between surfing through the hundreds of television channels and glaring at Jacob, who was pestering her again.

“Has she heard it?” he asked, about a joke he had just made.

“No,” I replied, nonchalantly. I was hearing that soft buzzing sound again, and it sounded like it was a little louder.

“A blond's brain cells die alone,” Jacob finished, mentally happy that he could piss off, as he so aptly put it, my sister.

“I have killed a thousand times more often than you have, you disgusting beast. Don't forget that,” Rosalie sneered, her eyes never leaving the television set.

Bella was telling Jacob to stop getting on Rosalie's nerves. He could get on her very last nerve for all I cared. Then Jacob made mention of leaving. I held an unneeded breath, waiting for her answer. Of course, I knew what she would say already.

The answer was no. Every damn time, it was no. I wished there was someway to rid him, but it would make her unhappy. And I vowed to never make her unhappy again. At least, for the few short days we had left together. Besides, Jacob was needed for the heat, anyway.

Bella asked Rosalie for more blood, my sister rushed upstairs. Then, that buzzing that I had been hearing the past two days became louder suddenly. Like the volume had been turned up and I could make out something. I glanced over at Jacob, then Bella.

“Did you say something?” I politely asked, wondering if what I heard was correct. I turned to Bella, questioning her with my eyes.

“Me?” she asked, disbelieving. “I didn't say anything.”

Carefully, I moved until I was over her. The buzzing, the whisper, got louder. I could almost make out the words.

“What are you thinking about right now?” I prodded her. There was no way I could actually hear her mental voice. Not now. It was... coming from somewhere else.

So safe... Can't hurt the warmth...

I could not believe what I was hearing. It was soft, just above a whisper, but still there. And it was coming from Bella. My first instinct was that I was hearing Bella's voice, but when I asked if she had said anything, she just mentioned Isle Esme... and the feathers.

“Say something else,” I asked, quietly.

“Like what, Edward?” Bella was frustrated with my behavior, but was more shocked at what I was doing just now.

I gasped. No... there was no way... it wasn't even possible. Cautiously, and with all eyes on me, I gently placed both my hands on Bella's round womb.

The fe—... the baby,” I choked on the last word. “Likes the sound of your voice.”

My mind went into overdrive, as Bella shrieked, making the baby jump in her womb.

A beat of total silence.

“Holy CROW! You can hear him!” Bella shouted, then winced.

“Shh... you startled it.” She patted her round belly, offering a 'sorry, baby' to it. I strained my neck over her, careful not to be too close in case my cold body would make he or she react.

“What's he saying now?” she asked, obvious delight emanating from her face.

So warm... must keep still... I like the voices.... don't like the loud voices...

“It... he or she...,” I paused. I wasn't prepared for this. Not at all. I didn't know it would truly be a child. “... he's happy.”

The fetus had a voice. And it was... astute. It didn't want to hurt her anymore than any of us did. It was trying not to hurt her from the inside, doing its best to stay a stationary as possible. I could almost feel through the thin membrane of Bella's skin the hands pressing against my cold hand through her womb.

And it... was a baby. A thinking, feeling, breathing creature. A sentient being, capable of rational thought to the point of avoiding heartache and pain toward its mother. Despite the awkward pregnancy.

And something in me surged to a new level. The sorrow that I had been experiencing the past few weeks dissipated into a beautiful new feeling. An all-encompassing love filled me from head to toe. I understood now what Bella had been right about all along. It was a child. Our child, I marveled.

I was going to be a father.

Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined this. Me, Edward Anthony Cullen, a father? The idea was laughable only two seconds ago. But two seconds ago, I hadn't heard my child speak.

His, or her, mental voice was comforting. Soothing. Like a balm to my weary bones, the same like what Bella had given me when I knew she loved me, too. I was going to be a father. To have a precious child to hold in my arms.

I shushed my love and gently massaged her belly, where the child was nestled. I spoke in soft tones, relaying the newfound knowledge. My wife began sobbing, but in happy tears, cooing over the baby to be born. I saw it in Rosalie's eyes, as I looked up. I'm sure they reflected my own. It was real and it was sure; Bella and I were having a baby. As if it was the most normal thing a newly-married couple should be expecting.

Expecting. There was a word I wouldn't think of before. Now it was more certain. The future looked infinitesimally brighter. I have my wife and my son or daughter now. We would be a family, within this strange family I formed here already.

“Of course you should feel loved, all safe and warm and happy. I love you, little EJ,” Bella cooed, rubbing her hands over her swollen stomach.

EJ? Surely, she didn't mean....?

“What was that you called it?”

“I, I sorta named him. I didn't think you would want... you know. Your father's name was Edward, too.”

I agreed, but not fully comprehending or wanting to comprehend what she was naming our child. Edward... and Jacob. She wasn't serious was she? Naming the child after me and that heinous mutt? I felt like I had been kicked low and hard. The only thing kept me from sulking entirely was a precious little voice in my head. My child's voice.

I like the deeper voice.... so warm... must stay still...

Now it was speaking of me? Calling me the 'deeper voice'? It had heard me speaking. This was too much for one person to handle. Too much for one vampire to handle. But, I rejoiced. The baby liked the sound of my voice, too. It soothed him.. or her. I still was not sure yet.

Now, you see what we mean, Edward? This baby is a blessing for all of us. Rosalie's mental smirk matched her own outwardly. I didn't care. I was still reveling in the thought of becoming a father.

I overheard Rose asking about names, but I was still listening for my child's mental voice. Now that I had heard it, I ached to hear it again. I concentrated, leaving my face emotionless.

If only my mother could see me now. It was hard to remember my human mother's face clearly anymore, much less my father's. But in this instance, I could imagine what they might say. My human mother would probably cry with joy and hug Bella and I. My father would likely pat me on the back in a congratulatory, manly gesture. They might plan a party of some sort, but demand that Bella rest as much as possible. Human women need so much rest from the general strain, and, as I belatedly noticed on Isle Esme, their emotions were all out of whack.

It seemed preposterous that I would become a father after all these years, but yet here I was, a vampire, with my wife, a human, and our hybrid baby.

I had no idea the sex of the child. I couldn't tell from its mental voice. All I knew was that it was happy and it loved my wife like I did. Its mother.

My heart swelled immeasurably. For the third time in my long existence, I would have a family. My own wife and child to call my own.

I wanted to hear more. The voice fluttered in and out, and I was losing reception. Suddenly, I saw flashes of color before my eyes. Colors that were warm in nature; deep crimson, luscious pinks, earthy browns and deep violets filled my vision, accompanied with an overwhelming sense of love that tinged those colors. It was singularly the strangest thing I had ever seen. Did the baby do that? Could it have a gift, and was it manifesting already? Even before it was out of the womb?

Cautiously and tenderly, I laid my ear against her womb, listening again to my baby speak.

Is that voice my Momma? I love that voice....

“It loves you.” Incredible. My entire outlook on the whole situation changed right then. “It absolutely adores you,” I spoke softly.

No longer would I fret about Bella and the baby. It wasn't some blood-thirsty monster looking for food. It was a beautiful, heavenly creature. A child. An astute, intelligent child at that. Maybe, just maybe, if I could make something like this, an intelligent creature come from me, perhaps I wasn't completely evil. Perhaps hope and heaven wasn't lost for our kind after all.

Maybe, just maybe, Carlisle was right.