Written this for the completion of the 30smirks challenge in LJ.

Prompts: #23 Blue Periwinkle (Blue Moon), #25 To touch the Devil is to die (If I die what will be left of you?)

Since this is a bit long, I decided to post it in here. This is my first attempt at a fantasy AU and while I hope not to disappoint, I can’t really promise anything. This was inspired by Gregory Maguire’s Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (which is an awesome book) and by Silent Sanctuary’s Kundiman and 14. Enjoy!

All disclaimers apply.

BOUND

When you first learn to love Hell

You will be in Heaven.

-Thaddeus Golas

Prologue

Angels.

Young Kirihara Akaya always wondered how they looked like. He had spent his life living in Hell, being cursed. People who lived with him said that he was sent there because he had been bad when he was alive.

How must it feel like to be alive, anyway? Kirihara asked himself. I never knew. How could I have been bad?

And no one answered him.

No one knew.

“E-Excuse me…”

Kirihara sat up in surprise. He had thought that his hiding place was perfect – none of the people down there knew that there was a way out. His eyes widened with caution as he turned towards the source of the voice.

His mouth dropped open as he saw a little girl, instead. She had long, auburn hair and soft, brown eyes. A white gown was placed loosely on her little body, and Kirihara had to blink twice to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming.

No one in his world ever wore white.

“I’m lost,” she continued, her voice shaking. She looked like she was about to cry. “Please help me.”

Finally snapping out of his trance, he began blushing. “I-I don’t know nothin’!” he said, his voice trembling with excitement. “It’s your fault for getting lost! Where did you come from, anyway?”

The young girl pointed towards the sky. “I fell, and suddenly, I found myself on the pretty flowers. But I can’t fly yet.”

“Turn around! Let me see!” Kirihara asked excitedly. Without waiting for a response, he grabbed her forcibly by the shoulders and turned her around. A grin plastered itself on his face as he saw little sprouts of feathered wings attached on the back of the girl. “Cool! How awesome! You mean you can fly with those things?”

“N-Not yet.”

“Oh.” Finally deciding that she wasn’t as interesting as he thought she would be, he let go of her, and she turned around. “Well, I can’t help you. I live down here so I don’t need to fly.”

“Down?”

“Yep, down here.” He raised a knowing finger and began to relate the words he knew by heart. “You see, I’m a Devil. I died because I was bad, so as punishment, I have to live there. It’s kind of lonely, and cold, and there are creepy trees.” When he saw the troubled expression on her face, he waved his hands dismissively. “But it’s not so bad! It’s fine once you get used to it. And besides, I have this place!”

She smiled in relief before holding out to touch his hands. Kirihara instantly felt the warmth rushing through his skin. “I’m from the sky. We have a Father there, and He is God-sama. We love Him very much. Someday, I want to be an angel so I can help other people become angels, too.” She smiled more warmly. “Someday, I’ll make you an angel. That way, you won’t have to be lonely anymore.”

Perplexed, Kirihara’s emerald eyes widened. “Really?” he breathed out.

“Yes!”

To their surprise, bells began chiming from the sky, and the young girl found herself rising on her own. She held on tight to him, and said, “I’ll come back soon! Please wait for me, Devil-san!”

Kirihara let go of her hands with a smirk.

“I’m not promising anything, so you better don’t!”

And Kirihara never, ever forget the obstinate expression he saw on her face.

i

Thousands of miles below the Heavens, there sat a young man with dark, black hair sticking up in all directions. He was covered in a black ensemble, with a material the same as leather. Despite that, his skin was ivory-pale, contrasting completely with his clothes.

He was on a red rock; flat on the top, and just enough to fit him. It was the only red on the surface, for the ground was covered in baby blue periwinkles and luscious green grass. On top of him hung a large canopy of green leaves, from the large tree he had positioned himself under.

Through the array of leaves, he looked up into the deep, orange sky, and he held his hands over his face to shield his eyes from what was left of the sun. He frowned at the sight of the birds chirping above him, and he pointed a finger at them, aiming carefully.

“Bang, bang.”

His large, emerald eyes, which he did not take off from the birds, shone as he blew on the imaginary smoke on his fingers. He chuckled to himself, as he realized that he was actually bored and decided to leave them alone.

Yawning, he placed his hands beneath his head and decided to take a nap on the rock. After all, the sun hadn’t even completely set, and he would still have to wait hours before she finally came. Sighing, he closed his eyes and began to sleep.

--

“Kirihara-san?”

Groaning, Kirihara Akaya rubbed his eyes sleepily. As his vision regained clearness, a wide smile appeared on his lips. “Ah, it’s you,” he greeted with a yawn, before sitting up straight and crossing his legs over the other. He looked up to check the sky and saw the dark blue it had turned into. “How long have you been here?”

She arranged herself comfortably on the flat rock, and spread her white dress so as not to let it get in the way. Looking at Kirihara bashfully, she said, “Just now. I’m really so sorry for being late. It was just… it’s so hard to get past the Gate and…”

“Nah, that’s okay.” He grinned widely. “I understand completely. Ya know, those guys in your world must be really big pricks. No offense.” He looked up at the sky again. “It’s been awhile since I saw this Blue Moon. Last time, we didn’t even have one and I had to wait for days before I saw you again.”

At the sound of his words, the girl’s cheeks flared and her large, white wings closed tightly on her back. She brushed a stray lock of hair from her face and peeked at him from her bangs. “Don’t say that, Kirihara-san! It’s really—“

She stopped in the middle of her speech as his leather-gloved hand clasped hers tightly. A small gasp came from her and she felt the blush on her cheeks deepen. She began to shake, and embarrassed, she looked away.

“Don’t be like that, Sakuno,” came his gentle voice, a far cry from the earlier tone he used. He brought her hand to his cheek and felt her skin on his. “It’s lonely down here. From where I come from, we aren’t really allowed to make any friends. It’s boring and damp and cold, but that’s okay.” She looked back at him, her eyes full of understanding. A smile came up his face.

“Because I know that sooner or later, you’ll come and visit me again.”

With this, he opened her hand palm-up, brought it to his lips, and he felt her shiver at the contact.

He knew that every part of him was not comfortable with Sakuno. For one thing, he was cold; his lips, moreso. The sudden change of temperature must have bothered her, but he felt relieved that she said nothing in protest.

“Well,” he began, bringing her hand down, but not letting go. “Tell me about the things going on up there. Any big news?”

Sakuno’s eyes shone with excitement. “Oh yes!” she replied animatedly. “Tomorrow will be my first test! I’m really nervous! Tomo-chan says that they’ll be picking more of us to be Guardians, and I’ll finally be able to watch someone from above! Isn’t that great?” She looked up hopefully. “God-sama is really nice! I’ll do my best so I can start working as an official Angel!”

“Heh.” Kirihara grinned and tightened his hold on her hand. “I bet you can do it with your eyes closed.”

“Mou, don’t praise me like that, Kirihara-san. You might end up jinxing me.” She pouted.

“Ah, so Angels believe in jinxes, too?” He looked at her in interest and he leaned back, with his free hand for support. “That’s kind of funny. We don’t believe in blessings and stuff so I figured that things would be the same for you guys.”

Sakuno didn’t reply and gave him a thoughtful look. He knew that he somehow struck a chord; Sakuno didn’t like hearing about the things she hated the most, and their differences were some of them. He winced and was about to apologize when, to his surprise, she suddenly smiled and said, “It’s soon, Kirihara-san. I can finally do what I’ve promised you.”

Kirihara let of her hand abruptly, and it went to his forehead. He let out a low groan before looking at her incredulously. “That was a joke, Sakuno. How many times do I have to tell you that what you’re planning is impossible? Can’t you just give up on the thought? Jeez.”

A determined look was fixed on her white face. “When I pass the test and become a Guardian, I’ll be able to go here as I please. And I’ll save you, Kirihara-san, and the people below.” Her eyebrows crunched together in thought. “Nobody deserves a fate like that, and I can’t accept that you have to suffer! Everyone was born good and… and I trust you.”

“Sakuno… stop being an idiot. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“But Kirihara-san—“

The loud chiming of bells cut her short. The pair looked above and they both knew what that meant. They both brought their eyes down to meet the other and a look of apology crossed Sakuno’s face.

Without saying anything, she knelt in front of him and held his cold face between her hands. Her thumb caressed his smooth cheek, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. She leaned closer and whispered, “I’ll be back soon,” and let her lips touch his cold ones gently.

They let the kiss linger for a while before Sakuno stopped.

Kirihara’s eyes were full of emotion, and Sakuno could not point just one. “Until the next blue moon, okay?” he whispered back, his cold breath touching her face. All of a sudden, he pulled her closer by the waist, and crushed their lips together, with more force this time.

But it was not even enough to last him until they met again.

When Sakuno pulled away, a look of longing pinned itself onto Kirihara’s expression. She bowed sadly and stood up. Not taking her eyes off him, she spread her wings and rose herself into the sky.

ii

“I’ve come.”

Kirihara stood firmly onto the cold ground, looking up at the looming mount with fixed eyes. He didn’t bother to kneel, despite being taught to do so, and he knew that the person on top knew that very well.

Everything around him was blood-red. Dead trees with glaring fiery leaves seemed to be singing deeply, making the whole place seem like it was burning. Despite that, the chill he felt was almost unbearable. The mount in front was so high, that he couldn’t see what was on top. But it wasn’t like he wanted to see, anyway.

A booming voice came from above, and despite his efforts to remain indifferent, Kirihara shuddered. “Kirihara Akaya. You do know that your time is almost over? You have to take the test soon. Are you prepared?”

“W-Why?” he stammered, trying hard to keep the nervousness from his voice. He gulped and a sudden wash of courage ran through his veins. “I don’t want to take the test, old geezer! Just try the new pups that came in. They’ll surely follow what you say. Because me? I refuse!”

“Ah, still feisty as ever.”

“I’m not trying to be feisty,” Kirihara announced, becoming braver by the minute. “I don’t want to become one of you. I’m fine with what I am right now, and I don’t care if I don’t ever have to go to the surface. It’s just a waste of my time. Besides, you can do it on your own. You’re Satan, right? You’re the most powerful bastard in this dump.”

A thoughtful silence came up. Thoughts flooded the young man’s mind at once, and as soon as he tried to shake them off, the man on top voiced them for him.

“You’ll be forever damned, Kirihara.”

Kirihara smirked, and he placed his hands firmly on his waist. “I’m already eternally damned, mister. No need to rub it in.”

“You know very well what I meant.”

“Yes, and you know very well that I don’t care.”

The man above laughed loudly, as if Kirihara made a joke. “And we can’t work with that, can we? You can’t keep running forever. Sooner or later, you’ll be taking the test and you’ll finally become a true member of our world.” Kirihara could’ve pictured him grinning with self-satisfaction, only that he hadn’t even seen a glimpse of his face before. “You can get all the privileges. You can come up to Earth, and you can pull down people you like into joining us. Your other companions are willing to kill to be able to get a sniff of Earth. You have all the rights to be cocky.”

“Hn. Of course. They’re idiots.”

“You have no choice, Kirihara. If you pass, that’s good. If you don’t, then you’re going to cease your existence.” Kirihara forced back his tears, as he felt his throat tighten up. “Good luck and if you use that well, you’ll be a luckier bastard than I am.” He could hear the smirk mocking him in that voice, but he didn’t care.

He knew that he said nothing but the truth.

It was do or die.

He stomped his foot childishly on the floor, and the sound echoed through the room. He bit his lower lip to stop the trembling, but he knew that it was to no avail. Clamping his eyes, shut, he screamed, “Why are you so unfair? WHY? I just wanted things to stay as they were! You already cursed me by sticking me here! Why do you want more?”

When there was no reply, he kicked the front of the mount hard. “Why me? Why can’t you force somebody else? I don’t want it! I don’t want to be chosen! This is stupid!”

“Because you killed.”

Kirihara stopped his sulking and looked up. A black cloud had formed directly above him, and his eyes widened as he saw himself on the cloud. The image shocked him – he looked so different.

The person in the cloud was years older than he was. He was wearing a gray suit, and his green eyes looked like they were burning with intense emotion. In his shaking hand, he held something that glinted in the light.

It was a knife.

“No, no! Akaya, please listen to me! He… He… He just went in the apartment and I…”

“Shut up! SHUT UP!”

Kirihara shuddered at the sound of his voice. It didn’t sound like his. It was horrible, scary, unfeeling. It was different. He brought his hands to cover his ears, but he couldn’t black out the sound. He wanted it to stop, but he couldn’t tear his eyes from the image.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I forgot to lock the door and… and… it was dark… and I thought it was you…” The voice was begging. It sounded familiar, but Kirihara didn’t remember. He didn’t want to. But the voice kept ringing throughout the place.

“You did it on purpose! You fucking whore!” He pulled the knife higher. The accusation in his voice was evidently from the blind rage he felt. “You let him do this! You wanted it! You thought I wasn’t enough!”

Kirihara’s eyes widened more. He raised his head, with his face completely drained of color; much paler than how he usually was. “No…” he murmured. “No… don’t do it… Stop…” But he knew that his words were futile. The knife was raised.

“SLUT!”

“No! Please stop! I love you, Akaya! I can’t do this to you! I won’t even think of doing this! I… I…”

Suddenly, the view shifted towards the female, and Kirihara was brought down to his knees, and tears began spilling out of his eyes. Words were stuck in his throat. He couldn’t breathe.

Through his tears, he could see it. The familiar brown hair, the scared, big eyes, the trembling, frail body.

It was Sakuno.

“I’ll send you to hell,” the image whispered ominously, and an evil smile came up his face. “And I’ll follow right after.”

He brought down the knife.

The young Devil’s screams echoed loudly throughout Hell.

iii

The blue moon had already risen by the time Sakuno reached the red rock. The blue periwinkles were glistening by the reflections coming from the sun, and the tree was eerily still.

It was silent.

Sakuno was sitting quietly, watching Kirihara openly. She had been with him for already a few minutes, and she was beginning to get worried. Kirihara was acting oddly that night.

He sat directly in front of her, his back face-up. His curly hair hung limp and damp, probably because of the slight drizzle that afternoon. Usually, he would’ve hidden underneath the tree’s large roots, but it appeared that he sat through the whole ordeal. He looked paler than he usually did.

“A-ano!” Sakuno began nervously, not sure what to say. “Are you cold, Kirihara-san?” She bent down and reached forward to touch his back.

Before she could lay her palms flat onto him, Kirihara suddenly turned around and wrapped her into a possessive hug. He buried his face into her hair, and ran his hands frantically across her back.

“Sakuno… Sakuno…” he gasped. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know… I…”

“Kirihara-san! Is… Is there anything wrong?” Sakuno asked, her voice laced with worry. She tried to push him away, to see his face, to be able to read his expression, but he was too strong. “Please let me help!”

“It was my fault!”

“What is?” She placed her hands against the sides of his face and was finally able to pry herself away from him. She stared hard into his eyes, and she could see the fear beneath the shining green. “Please, tell me.”

Kirihara pushed her away gently and moved farther away. He tried to shake the chaos rumbling inside his mind. A scared smile was on his face, and he chuckled shakily. “I’m sorry. I just lost it for a while there.”

“Can I help?”

He placed his hand on his face, and rubbed it to wake himself up. He had been fleetingly insane, and he had to get back to his old self. But he couldn’t do it.

“No.” He looked at her straightly, like he was about to cry. The nervous smile he had turned into one of finality. “It’s over, Sakuno. I know everything now.”

“Eh? What are you talking about? I don’t understand!”

He stood up and shook the water from his hair. He looked down onto Sakuno. “I was supposed to say goodbye, but it was freaking hard.” He smirked. “So yeah. Goodbye.” He jumped off of the rock, and Sakuno quickly ambled over.

“Wait! Wait! What’s going on, Kirihara-san? Did I do anything wrong? Is it my fault?” Her eyes were so filled with pain, and Kirihara couldn’t bear to look. Without taking the smirk off his face, he looked away.

“It’s mine.”

Sakuno couldn’t reply. She didn’t know what to say.

The young man looked up. “I was supposed to be a real Devil today, Sakuno. But I bailed out on the test.” He chuckled. “I didn’t want to be one.”

Bewilderment was evident in the girl’s eyes.

“That’s why tonight, I’m gonna disappear.”

He held out his hand towards her and waved.

“Ja’ne.”

With that, Kirihara turned around with finality, and jumped into a hole that materialized on the ground.

It began to rain.

iv

There was a place worse than Hell.

It was nothingness.

There were no words to describe the place where Kirihara was. He could see, hear, or feel nothing, except the pain he felt during the night he died.

All his memories of being alive – the worse ones – came flooding over and over in his mind, and he couldn’t stop them. He was curled over himself, his shaking hands grasping his curly hair.

When he returned, he was immediately sent to the person on the mount. With no questions asked, he was told, “You chose your fate, Kirihara.” And he was placed in the place he was now. The voice which cursed him rang for the last time.

“You are now quarantined. You have no right to exist. Those who will attempt to save you will assume the same fate. After a fortnight, the continuous decomposing of your body will commence, and you will cease existence.”

A whimper escaped Kirihara’s lips, and he shut his eyes to black out the blankness.

“Your soul will be nothing.”

When he attempted to look at himself, he would turn away at once. His flesh was turning green, and they were beginning to fall off by chunks onto the indescribable ground. It began with his feet; he was immobile.

The pain was excruciating.

Every skin peeled was a moment of suffering. Every tear that fell from his eyes burned. Every shout he cried sent constrictions in his already-tight throat. He couldn’t escape any of it. Death, any kind of it, would be better. He felt like wanting to give up, to gnaw himself to death, but he could not move. He had to pass through it all.

Soon, he could feel himself be lost.

There would be no more thoughts but of pain in his head. He couldn’t even remember his own name. Slowly, painfully, his soul was being taken out of his very being.

“Kirihara-san!”

His eyes shot open. Could it be? He tried to raise his head. It was painful, but he needed to look up. No matter what.

But all he could see was the nothingness.

“Kirihara-san!” It was a sob this time. And he could feel drops of water falling into his face, burning deep into his scarred flesh. It hurt.

“GO AWAY!” he screamed, and he felt like his throat was being cut by knives. “DON’T COME NEAR ME! GO BACK!” A sob of his own escaped his wounded lips. He began to cry. “Don’t… please… don’t…”

“But… Kirihara-san…” the voice was gentler, this time. It sounded closer. Kirihara moved away from where he was. He couldn’t let her touch him. Never. “Kirihara-san…”

“Don’t you understand?” he asked shakily; he couldn’t feel his throat anymore. He spoke more than what he could say. Still, he tried to force the words out of his mouth. “I don’t want you to die, Sakuno.”

“Satan-san…” There was a smile in her voice. “Satan-san told me you were here. The Guards at the Gate clipped my wings for wanting to go down here, but I don’t care about that anymore, Kirihara-san. I promised that I’ll save you. I’m here. We won’t have to wait for the blue moon anymore.”

He could feel the heat from her body nearer. He scooted farther away. “DON’T TOUCH ME!” he screamed yet again, and he could feel his left leg distangle itself from his body. He couldn’t move anymore. “PLEASE!” he begged. “PLEASE, DON’T!”

“Kirihara-san.” He could feel her hands on his face. Tears fell down his cheeks, burning his flesh even deeper. He couldn’t speak anymore. He was done for. He felt her arms around him. She… would come soon after.

“Why?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

He felt her head on his shoulder, her soft hair falling onto his burning skin. “Don’t you understand?” she whispered back. He could feel his presence disappearing, along with the rest of his strength. He was worn out. He was about to go. Her voice rang into his ears before he truly disappeared.

“I’ve never stopped loving you, Akaya.”

And with that, he was gone.

Epilogue

Kirihara Akaya walked confidently across the Seigaku campus, trying to find the men’s tennis club. He had been told that there was a new kid who seemed to have been gaining popularity among the other teams.

He was there to let him know his place.

“Hey,” he called out to a girl who passed by. She was wearing the school’s uniform, and he stopped in his tracks as soon as he realized how long her pigtails were. Catching himself, he said, “Do you know where the men’s tennis club is?”

She turned around, and his eyes widened with surprise.

Those brown eyes, those pink cheeks… he’d seen them somewhere before. She stared back at him, and he could only guess that she’d been asking the same questions. Maybe they’ve met somewhere before.

He shrugged to himself. He didn’t want to waste anymore time.

“So, where is it?”

“Ah!” she exclaimed, seemingly snapping out of her reverie. She pointed to her left. “That way.”

“Thanks.”

And as he made his way to the courts, thoughts of the pigtailed girl had already left his mind.

Did you know, Kirihara-san? For two people to be able to pass by each other in the present, they have to have 3,000 encounters in their previous lives.

Oh, really?

Yes. And I think I’m very lucky.

Heh. You are so lame, Sakuno.

FIN

Footnotes:

Wings – I treated them like appendages in the body – small when one is young and it gets bigger as one gets older.

Angels, Devils, God and Satan – I decided to use simple referrals to good and evil. Since I didn’t have the time to research other religions, I stuck with my own.

Angel and Devil Tests – inspired by Koge-Donbo’s Pita-Ten.

Nothingness – the events occurring in nothingness were inspired by Kaori Yuki’s Angel Sanctuary.

Sakuno’s last line in part iv before they disappeared – I really hope you all got the message I was trying to send. If you have any questions to clear or suggestions on how I could make it more understandable, don’t hesitate to PM me.

Epilogue – yes, I used something from the anime, though I don’t promise accuracy. This part came from my memory and was talking about the time when Kirihara first visited Seigaku.

3000 encounters – I got that from a short manhwa titled A Cat That Loved a Fish by Yoon Mi-Kyung.

The last italicized part – please interpret that as you wish. :)

Wow. I never thought I would finish this (and the day right before my college exams, too). This was, so far, my most experimental story. I don’t really know how I did with this – I played a bit with Kirihara and Sakuno’s characters and I hope you guys liked it. I’ve been writing Kirihara and Sakuno a lot for the 30smirks challenge in LJ (you can see the other fics at my LJ Fic Dump – the link is the ‘Website’ button on my profile). So yeah, tell me if I sucked or something.

Leave a review?

Neko

P.S. As much as I love reviews, please don’t spoil the story when you review. And also, please tell me how this story made you feel. That would mean A LOT.