disclaimer: had I owned HP it wouldn't have ended in the manner that it did, that much I can promise you.

--

Into the Dark

--

summary: They say that those who try to forget someone never even really loved them, but sometimes it just hurts too much to remember.

--

Chapter I: Prologue

--

In Bermondsey in Burberry, you held me at the barricade, the pigs arrived with tear gas
And I wept at the mistakes we made
We stalked the streets like animals
And danced as windows shattered
For our island, for the thrill of it, for everything that mattered

Oh, how could anyone not want to rip it all apart?
Oh, how could anyone not love your cold, black heart?

(Barricade by Stars)

--

“You know, I’ve never actually believed in all this,” she admitted with a sniff, roughly wiping away a stray tear that was running down her cheek.

“What?” the doctor asked her, genuinely intrigued as he propped his chin upon his fist, taking on the classic thinking position—one that rather suited the almost pensive-like doctor, she noted.

“This,” she repeated, waving her hands around, aimlessly motioning towards the entire office. “All of this. I’ve just always thought that—well, I don’t know… I’ve just always felt that you shouldn’t run away from problems, shy away, only because you’re scared of some pain. I’ve always believed that—that life’s made up of its little ups and downs because that’s what makes it so perfect, that’s what makes you appreciate the good all the more, you know? Irony though," she let out a sarcastic and spiteful laugh, none too amused. "That's karma’s little bitchy gift, I suppose,” she spat angrily. “I mean it really is ironic that I, of all people, am here now… asking you to do this…”

A small smile pulled at his lips as he patted her extended arm, that was limply lying on the table, lightly with his available hand. “you know, I have a mantra of sorts with these sort of things,” the doctor told her, raising his head off of his propped up hand, moving the arm and crossing it with his other as he cocked his head to the side. “It’s a quote by Alexander Pope actually, from a poem called ‘Eloisa to Ableard,’” he explained. “And in it he makes this one poignant point, he says: How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot. / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!”

She scoffed. “Well I guess it’d be rather hypocritical of me to disagree now, wouldn’t it?—given why I’m here and all… although, I have to admit that I’d really like to…”

He shrugged, chortling lightly. “I wouldn’t be so pessimistic about it though.”

“I just-” she stopped herself with a deep sigh, aggravatingly running a hand through her hair. “I just hate myself for being so weak; I suppose… you know, not being able to face my problems head on. After all, isn’t life supposed to be about all of the little blunders and screw ups?”

He shrugged helplessly, again. “If it was, then I’d be out of business.”

She laughed lightly despite herself. It was a morose and hollow one, though, more so out of self-pity than for the joke itself. “Do you… do you think I’m making the right decision by doing this?”

“Well I don’t really know you, now do I? I’m afraid that you’re the only person that can actually answer that question,” he honestly answered her with a sympathetic smile.

“Yeah,” she nodded, pulling her lower lip between her teeth and biting it lightly. “I suppose so… but, if you were me, would you do it?”

He let out a deep breath, pausing for a second before he answered. “If it hurts so much that you don’t know how to go on with the pain, how to go through every day with that constant reminder in your head of how much it hurts, then yeah… I really would.”

She nodded.

--

author's note: in all honesty, i really shouldn't be starting another fic, but i just got the idea while watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" this morning and couldn't help myself... also chapters for this fic will probably be rather long for this one, in contrast to pieces like Unearthed and Unnerved...

p.s. NOTE: the premise of this fic is based off of "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" but the story itself will not be like the film, I don't plan on writing the script with different names, placing Harry where the Joel should be and Hermione in place of Clementine.

p.p.s. I'll also probably need two betas for this fic, tends to help when one is incapacitated at the moment to have two, so if anyone would like to offer please note that i rely heavily on my beta's opinions so I'll also need feedback, can be brief (and i don't mind you being brutally honest if you must--not at all, actually) but i really need one that'll just tell me what works and what doesn't. that's crucial for my writing process.

thank you and please review.