The entire time I did this request I has able to finish a small bag of Bugles. Thats how long it took me to type it, a bag of Bugles. Course I'm a slow eater when I'm typing, so that bag lasted a solid 20 hours at least. This one's for you TheOptimisticPessimist. I have no idea how to type what the sound ur stomach makes when its hungry, and I'm doing an essay on The Hound of the Baskervilles right now so don't judge me

Cena con Maloof

It was raining outside, so everyone was outside enjoying the cold relief after the hellish heat wave that lingered for so long. Everyone was outside somewhere enjoying the rain, except the littlest camper, Maloof. He loves rain, especially since it's been so hot. But Misha, his Misha, couldn't go outside today. After having a victory lap around the mine shaft where he wrestles a cougar, and a bear, he slid inside on his leviball and fell. Hard. In the cave floor after hitting the inner wall and landed on his leg in a very unnatural way. The tibia and the fibula broke in the middle of each bone, bending his leg in a perfect 90 degree angle. When Milla discovered him she nearly fainted. Yet Mikhail, being the badass he was, didn't even notice it. When he got up and dusted off his shoulders, Milla in her panic levitated to him at 150 miles per hour, knocked him over, then carried him bridal style to Cruller. As she levitated to the nearest stump, campers recalled seeing his broken limp swinging like a loose hinge. When Maloof heard about it, he hadn't left Mikhail's side since. If that ain't friendship, I don't know what is.

Maloof was sitting on a folding chair reading a small paperback version of "Oliver Twist" by Charles Dickens, his favorite author that doesn't write about the mafia, mob, or even the yakuza. A little break from organized crime and the romanticized life of a mob boss. Mikhail was nibbling on a Slim Jim quietly and watched the rain droplets fall on his bedside window in their cabin.

Brrgk

Maloof lowered his book and raised an eyebrow at Mikhail's stomach that was concealed under the covers of his faded grey covers. "Misha, is that all you're going to eat for supper?"

Mikhail stopped mid-bite on the remaining meat strip, and then spoke through the meat strip clamped between his teeth, "Mhmm".

Maloof rolled his eyes and leapt off his chair, placed his book on the stand near the bunk beds and stood at the front of the bed. "You know what, I'm gonna make you supper Misha", he beamed. Mikhail looked like he was about to refuse, but his stomach did all the talking. Maloof giggled in his cute boyish way, and poked Mikhail's left leg. "You ever had Mac and Cheese Misha?"

Mikhail shook his head slowly, "I am familiar with cheese, not Mac". His English had improved thanks to Maloof’s help, but he still had an accent.

"How’s about Bugles?"

"You mean instrument?"

"No, they're corn chips. I always ate Mac n Cheese with them and some root beer", Maloof poked his undamaged leg again.

"Maloof will give Misha beer?” Mikhail tilted his head to his shoulder, his big fur hat brushing up against the lampshade on the stand. Maloof giggled again, "No man, it's a root soda. Honestly you never had root beer?"

"No, vodka"

Maloof stopped giggling, "Mmm... is it good?" He put his hand behind his back and made little circle on the floor with his foot.

Mikhail sat up on the bed and tucked his left leg under his broken right one, crossed his arms before he responded. "Misha will not contribute to alcoholism of little Sputnik"

"Aww dude, not cool", Maloof whined. Mikhail lifted his head and winked. "Alcohol is not good for little bodies. You have a little body, little Maloof".

Maloof had grown a bit; he was a 5 foot lil Sicilian. But still tiny compared to the lean masculine frame of the Russian.

"". Maloof turned to the door and started to walk out. Just before he left Mikhail called out, "Maloof promise not to burn kitchen down?” Maloof looked over his shoulder and winked.

As soon as Maloof set a single small foot on the kitchen floor, Cruller was all over him like fly on a horse’s ass.

"What are you doing in my kitchen?" Cruller was standing there in his normal attire, overalls, apron, and pink bunny slippers.

"Making me and Mikhail food", Maloof pulled out a box of Mac n Cheese from a dusty cupboard.

"You need to boil that in cheese, let me get a can of cheese preserve"

"But it's instant, I add the cheese after I put the macaroni noodles in the pot", Maloof tried to hide his face behind the small cheese powder packet to show Cruller. He looked at it like it was a disease, and shook his head furiously.

"Bah, that's AIDS in a packet if you ask me, nothing but trouble. You boys need real food, with real American cheese". He opened the can of "real cheese" and just placed the can on the stove. "Now, we just wait for that sucker to boil and then we can add the little Macs", he turned to Maloof, not even acknowledging Maloof's worried face.

"I don't think you should cook with it still in the ca-"

"Now listen sonny, I'm the cook here and I know how to cook food for children", he rubbed his knuckles on his apron. "Trust me; I used to be a 5 star chief, for preten-"

SPLOOOSH!

Meanwhile back at the bunkhouse...

Mikhail starting to nod off, when a loud eruption in the distance jarred him awake. "What the..."

Back to Maloof and Cruller

The entire kitchen was covered in a thin, gooey yellow American cheesy goodness covering it. In the middle of all of it were two mounds, a tall lanky one and a shorter one. The first mound spoke, "Say sonny?"

"Yes sir?” the smaller mound turned what looked likes its head up to the other.

"Never mention this to the potato king ok?" Cruller stuck out his hand from out of the cheese and handed Maloof a 20 dollar bill.

"Um... sure...."

Maloof walked slowly in the rain to wash off most of the cheese from his hair and cloths, but the smell lingered. When he entered the bunk house, he raised his hand showing the bribe money, smirking. "The kitchen fails my friend, let’s go to Shenanigans"

Mikhail raised a brow and opened his mouth to speak, but Maloof's look told him enough. He reached for his crutches and hopped onto the floor on his good leg, making a levitation ball cushion his broke one.

"Ok, but first you take shower, 'nd change"

I almost decided to make it McDonalds instead, but then I figured that Mikhail would like an american steak then an american sized portion of apple wedges with caramel dipping sauce :D