Variables

By TwinEnigma

Warnings: AU, Character Death, Womanly!Orochimaru

AN: Sequel to Drabble #3, Serendipity.

20. Lost and Found

The doorbell was ringing.

Sakura, not-quite-single medical student, groaned and stuffed her pillow over her ears. She’d just got off an exceedingly long shift at the hospital and this was supposed to be her day to sleep. Even Naruto knew better than to bug her on these days.

The doorbell kept ringing.

Groaning, Sakura rolled out of bed and rubbed her face wearily. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” she mumbled, pulling on her housecoat and starting for the door.

Her cat wound around her legs, purring, and she nearly tripped face-first into her own couch.

“Damn it, Sasuke!” she grumbled, but the little black and white bastard was already scrambling under her couch, and she decided it’d be best to let him stay put for a while.

“Hold on,” she said, opening the door, and hardly had time to take a step back before she had her arms full of her weepy, clingy landlady.

“Oh, Sakura-chan, it’s awful!” wailed Auntie O as she hugged her, her thick purple makeup streaking her face with tears.

“What happened, Auntie O?” Sakura asked, steering her in and kicking the door shut gently.

Auntie O, formerly known as Orochimaru, was one of Tsunade’s old friends from her days in medical school. She’d been virtually blackballed from medicine when they discovered her gender-identity disorder and was actually a man living as a woman, but Tsunade had helped her back on her feet and she’d repaid her in kind by allowing Tsunade’s students to rent out the apartments in her building at comfortable fees. It had been like gaining a very flamboyantly dressed, clingy patron aunt that absolutely had a word to say about everything. Auntie O was very smart, too, and, every now and again when her schedule permitted, they’d sit down to talk about the latest medical breakthroughs and her progress. Of course, she’d flake on the topic just as often and spend it gossiping about the other tenants and the neighborhood, but that was just her personality.

“It’s just awful!” Auntie O sobbed into her handkerchief, practically melting as she sunk into the tiny kitchen chair, and Sakura sighed, putting on the teakettle – she had a feeling this was going to take a while.

Sasuke hissed from his spot under the couch and fled back into the bedroom. Sakura could not fault him – Auntie O tended to overdo it on the perfume.

“You know that sweet young man down the street?” Auntie O asked, daubing her eyes with the handkerchief. “You know, the artist with that fabulous little gallery?”

“Ah, yes – Sasori, wasn’t it?” Sakura asked, rifling through the cupboard – goddamn it, Naruto had misplaced her mugs again!

“It burned down last night!” Auntie O said, eyes shining with tears again. “That whiny little punk artist he kicked out came back and burned it all down, I just know it!”

Sakura stared, blinking. There had been a lot of burn trauma coming into the emergency room last night, but it had been so busy anyway. “Is that Sasori guy okay?”

“Died instantly, the poor thing,” Auntie O sobbed. “He went back in to get his cat and the furnace exploded. He was so cute! You’d have never have guessed he was older. And now he’s gone and I’ll never get a chance with him.”

Sakura resisted the urge to comment that she wasn’t sure Sasori liked older women and instead focused on making tea. “That’s terrible, Auntie O. I know how much you liked him.”

“I hope they catch the little worm who did it,” Auntie O sniffed and daubed her eyes again.

“I’m sure they will,” Sakura said, setting down two steaming mugs of tea.

Auntie O sniffled a little more and finally shook her long hair back over her shoulder. “So, how is the new beau? Is Sasuke-kun still pissing on his shoes?”

Sakura laughed a little – Sasuke hadn’t liked the idea that she’d been dating her downstairs neighbor. “Naruto’s good. Busy with the force and all – you know how it goes. Honestly, I’m waiting for both our pagers to go off at the same time.”

“Imagine the horror, you both being called to the same case,” Auntie O chuckled, sipping her tea. “He’s a good kid. Tsunade adores him like a son, you know.”

That had been a little bit of a surprise when she’d learned that the brat Tsunade was always worrying over had actually been Naruto. They’d had a good chuckle over it.

Sakura hummed in agreement. “Sasuke still enjoys tormenting him, though.”

“Well, you were his woman first,” Auntie O said, unable to hide a smile. “He may be a cat, but he is a male and you know how they are.”

Sakura scoffed, rolling her eyes, and took a swig of her tea.

A claw hooked her leg, followed by a very familiar meow.

“Yes, we were talking about you,” Sakura said, looking down at the black and white bobtail cat.

Sasuke meowed again, whiskers bristling and ears perked.

“He’s such a cute little thing,” Auntie O sighed longingly. “Where did you get him again?”

“Kabuki-chou,” Sakura said. “There’s this little pet shop there. The owner’s a little odd, but he’s very knowledgeable.”

Sasuke meowed again, louder, and tugged on her housecoat with his paw. He then turned around, walked towards the bedroom, sat and meowed again, the little stub of his black tail twitching.

“Sakura, I think Sasuke-kun wants you to follow him,” Auntie O said, blinking.

Sakura frowned a little and stood, starting towards him. Sasuke sometimes did this little game with her. Perhaps he was playing again.

He led her into the bedroom, Auntie O following curiously, and then hopped up on the chest in front of the window with the fire escape, meowing again.

There, sitting on the fire escape in the pouring rain, was a red bobtail cat. The poor thing’s long fur was singed short on one side and it looked utterly bedraggled, but otherwise well-fed, a scarlet collar hanging around its neck.

“My word!” Auntie O gasped, flinging a hand over her mouth. “That’s Sasori’s cat, Karin! I’d know that red coat anywhere!”

Sakura slowly reached over and opened the window, immediately backing off a bit so as not to appear threatening.

Sasuke made that funny little sound he made sometimes when he was greeting her. The other cat regarded him warily, but the rain was much less desirable and slowly, the red cat crept inside, giving them all a wary look.

“So she got out after all,” Auntie O said sadly – and Sakura knew she was probably thinking that Sasori had foolishly thrown away his life when he hadn’t needed to. “Sasori would be so happy. He loved that cat. Red was his favorite color.”

“Poor thing... What am I going to do with her?” Sakura asked. Oh, that singed fur didn’t look good – there could be injuries she couldn’t see... she’d have to call the Inuzuka Veterinary Clinic.

“You should keep her for now,” Auntie O said. “Let me worry about Sasori. I’ll find out if he had anything set up for her and let you know.”

Sasuke was licking the other cat’s head, purring, and though she seemed thoroughly put out, the red cat was allowing it.

“I think he might have mentioned wanting to breed her at some point,” Auntie O sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Oh, I don’t know. He was such a silly young man. He probably kept his will in the gallery, the fool.”

Breed her? Then she wasn’t spayed – oh no.

Sakura blanched.

Sasuke hadn’t been neutered.

AN: It's the return of Sasuke the Japanese Bobtail Cat! And the debut of the fabulous Auntie Orochimaru and bedraggled kitty Karin!

IDK, the image of Orochimaru as landlady in a floral dress, insisting that he be called Auntie O, just... well... I could not resist.

And yes, the whiny little artist that Oro was referring to Sasori having kicked out was Deidara.

I giggled a lot when writing the fabulous Oro, especially once I wrote his comment about Sasuke pissing on Naruto's shoes. The whole mental image of an angry little bobtail tuxedo cat with a duckbutt and a little evil Sasuke head speechbubble over it's head... oh gods, I lol'd hard.