“Dear Ichigo...”

A/N: A short fic for my husband, who wanted me to write these pairings.
Warings: Utter crack, AU, pregnancy, my unbetaed usual weirdness.
Summery: Love knows no bounds, or sensibilities...
Pairings: Zangetsu/?, and Ichigo/Rukia.
Disclaimer: Someone rich owns these characters, not me.

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“What the hell!? Where the fuck is Zangetsu!?”

It figured. Damn, it was just his luck. Kenpachi wanted to 'have a bit of fun', and he had figured that after all the training that he had been through, this time it would be a hell of a lot easier to beat him...

And of course, once he was ready and confidant, he could not find his weapon! Wasn't his zanpakuto a part of him? Part of his very soul?! That was what his understanding was, so why the hell was it gone, and at the worst time possible!?

Was the entire world out to get him?

Probably so. Now, instead of fighting Kenpachi again, he was going to run like a wuss, but at least he'd live. He hightailed it out of there faster than one could say bankai, and decided that hiding out was a good idea. It wasn't like Kenpachi could find him all that easily anyway, especially will Yachiru's directional sense...

Once he was reasonably far away, he sat on a roof, rested, and mused on where Zangetsu could be. Was he stolen? Had he run away? Was this some sort of test? When had he seen him last?..

Now that he thought of it, he hadn't seen him that morning either...

“If I was a zanpakuto, where would I be?”

The answer came immediately, he knew where he'd be, and that was why this was so irritating!

He went to the last place he had remembered seeing Zangetsu, and looked around carefully, until his eyes fell upon an elegant, hand written notice, carefully sealed and inked. He opened it, and barely had time enough to read it before Kenpachi and Yachiru burst in, and he had to escape out a window.

The letter had said...

“Dear Ichigo,

I hope that this notice finds you well. I am sorry for the short term abandonment, without proper warning, but sometimes a man, or a zanpakuto has to make things right when honor has been lost...

I have a lover, Ichigo. A person whom is good to me, and worships me, and while you sleep, I have been sneaking out to see them. This relationship was supposed to stay secret, but unfortunately, I was careless, and because of this, we have been blessed with the gift of life, and I must marry my lover, lest I make a whore of them, and cause my unborn child to be ridiculed and considered illegitimate. I will return soon, with my bride and things will work out for the best. Please try not to die in the meantime.

Zangetsu.”

Oh, it was days like this where Ichigo craved normalcy...

A week later, he and Rukia were resting on Uruhara's shop porch, surrounded by friends and family, eating some iced sweets and relaxing, happy that no drama was going on here. He missed his zanpakuto, and being able to successfully defend himself, but what could he do?

He could sit here and watch his sisters play with Jinta and Ururu, and be happy that the situation wasn't worth he supposed. It could be worse, and he did believe that Zangtsu would come home soon.

As he rested, and opened another fruit bar for Rukia, Tessai came out the back way, and handed a letter to Ichigo.

“For you.”

With that, he returned to the inside of the shop, and the sounds of he and Urahara laughing like idiots about something was heard. He looked to the letter, which has been pre-opened, and after the obligatory yelling at Urahara, he opened the letter and read it.

“Dear Ichigo,

I hope that this notice finds you well. I have decided to send you an update on the situation, and some lovely pictures of the wedding. We had our ceremony in Cancun, the weather was lovely, and my bride looked radiant. The ceremony went on without any issue, and we are now celebrating our honeymoon.

Once again, I apologize for any inconvenience, and I hope all is well. I should be back in another month or so.

Zangetsu.”

He dug into the envelope, and pulled out the pictures, all of which simply showed Zangtsu, looking quite dapper in his usual garb, with a tall veiled woman on his arm, wearing a pure white western-style wedding dress despite the baby bump that had to be holding within at least seven months worth of baby.

“Ha, virgin bride my ass.”

Rukia looked up from her magazine.

“What are you talking about?”

“Zangetsu got married.”

The look on her face was priceless.

“What?! Really?!”

Ichigo nodded, and handed her the pictures.

“Wow... the bride's really tall...and pregnant.”

“I'd say.”

She cackled in amusement all of the sudden.

“Ichigo?”

“Hmm?”

“Your zanpakuto had a shot-gun wedding!”

“Only me... How do I get in these situations?”

After a bit more giggling and talking of the situation between the two, Ichigo spoke up.

“How the hell did they hide a pregnancy that long anyway?”

“Oh, probably the bride wore a big decorative waist band and robes for the last couple of months, it's surprising how many secrets can be hidden that way.”

“Ah, I see.”

After an uncomfortable silence, Ichigo stared on at the children playing, and smiled at Rukia.

“Do you like kids?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, I'm sure Zangetsu will have us babysit...”

“I do.”

They sat in silence, neither of them really making a move, but finally Ichigo took Rukia's hand in his, and at that moment, things seemed a lot less complicated. Zangetsu could rush off and end up in a complicated marriage and get himself a family fast, but he and Rukia were content to take things slowly, one step at a time...

And that suited him just fine.

“Rukia?”

“Hmm?”

“How come I have a feeling that Urahara knows something about this situation that we don't?”

“Probably cause he does?”

“Do you think we'll get an answer out of him?”

“The real question is that if would it be worth the effort to find out.”

“It's not.”

So together they sat, and they watched the children, occasionally being serenaded by the sound of cackling from within. What ever the joke was, he's find out eventually, for now, he was concerned with more important things.

It's was just five weeks later, when Ichigo awoke to a letter laying on his chest. He ripped it open with utter gusto, so excited for new information. He wondered what had happened. Had the honeymoon gone well? How was his wife? If nothing else, he missed Zangetsu greatly, and hoped that the update would fill him in.

“Dear Ichigo,

I hope this notice finds you well. I am tired, but good, and as of yesterday night, I am the ecstatically proud father of twins, a boy, and a girl, both beautiful and healthy, whom were born in the soul society under the watchful aid of Captain Unohana. My poor bride had a horrific, difficult birth, and only by the skills of Captain Unohana did my bride survive.

Otherwise, all is well, and once my bride has settled down comfortably and is a bit more recovered, I shall return to you. Thank you so much for your patience, and your survival.

Zangetsu.”

Ichigo smiled to himself, and folded the letter up with the others, before going back to bed. If nothing else, he was happy that Zangetsu was happy, and he'd have him back soon.

THREE YEARS LATER...

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, the birds sung joyfully, and Ichigo had just finished a wonderful night of sleep. In just a few hours, he was going to the Soul Society to visit, and to see a close friend, whom had been quite odd for the past couple of years, closing himself off from others unless it was work related. He was going to fix that issue, and then, maybe he'd take Rukia out to eat in the human world afterwards.

He and Rukia had been officially dating for almost a year now, and it was going well. They still fought, still argued, and he still thought that her art sucked, but they just fit together. Things were good, and once the issue with Renji the antisocial had been sorted out, things would be perfect, temporarily at least.

That's what he thought until he realized that Zangetsu was missing, and that a letter was sitting on his bedside table.

“NOT AGAIN!”

He tore the letter open and sighed at what was written within.

“Dear Ichigo,

I hope that this notice finds you well. I am quite sorry for sneaking off again, but this is yet again a temporary abandonment, and I shall hopefully see you later today, if you are still planning on visiting the soul society.

Today, I want you to meet my bride, and my family, but my bride is ashamed for some reason, so I am comforting and making preparations for a small gathering of our friends, to be held at the small but lovely Abarai residence, this evening. Please attend, it would mean much to me and my delicate flower.

If you cannot make it I will understand, but be highly disappointed. I have told Akane and Katsuo much about you, and they are so eager to meet the one whom has wielded me in battle.

Zangetsu.”

He rushed to get ready, and headed out.

He wouldn't miss this for the world.

Later that night, Ichigo was still in shock.

He had gotten a lot of ideas about Zangetsu's 'delicate flower', but none of his ideas were even close. This was almost to much to take in, but yet, it was reality.

“Oi, Akane! Stop swinngin' your brother around, you know he gets motion sickness!”

The tiny child, a huge eyed girl with fantastic red curls, turn to her mother and whined, while at the same time refusing to even consider the needs of her sibling. They were typical siblings it seemed.

“But mama, he's a sword , he needs to be swung!”

Ichigo turned his head away as to avoid seeing a child zanpakuto vomit. He hadn't thought that it was possible, and he really wasn't interested in witnessing the event.

“See! Ya made him sick again. Go to your father!”

The child ran off, and was scooped up in Zangetsu's strong arms, while Ichigo watched Renji clean up the mess while trying to hide the proof of the newest additions to his odd family behind a giant decorative obi.

Oh, he had not been prepared for the fact that one of his close male friends had bred with his zanpakuto, not the fact that one of the children was a zanpakuto as well...

But after all he had been through at this point, he should have been prepared for the unexpected!