Chapter 5: Off to Las Vegas

"I gotta go save my dad..." Troy said.

Sonic stops dancing around and said, "Oh yeah, him."

Troy walks through the house, concerned.

"Spies and diamonds and not to mention sexy dames!" Sonic was all to excited. "This reminds of that time Tails and I went on a mission together to stop Eggman and save Amy!"

Troy enters the foyer and Sonic zips in front of him.

"This is going to be our greatest mission ever!"

Troy walks past Sonic to get his coat.

Sonic turns, feeling slightly put out, he said, "That was a bit disrespectful."

Troy ignores this and walks toward the garage. Sonic jumps back into the fray.

"First stop, Las Vegas, city of lights! Should we jet or copter in?" Sonic asked.

Troy answered, mostly to self, "We'll take my Dad's old car..."

"A superspy car? Alright! Let's roll!"

It's pretty dark in the garage as Troy pushes the garage door button.

"This isn't a spy car," Troy told him as the door opens, we see the car is a 1974 Gremlin.

"Don't be ridiculous. Your dad's a spy; therefore, spy car," Sonic reminded him.

"I used to deliver pizzas in this car," Troy said.

Troy gets in the car. Sonic is already there.

"Secret pizzas?" Sonic asks as he noticed. "Right. Pizzas."

Troy grabs Daffy and throws him out the driver side window. Troy rolls up the window quickly and starts the Gremlin. He drives out of the garage. As the Gremlin goes down the driveway onto the street, Sonic suddenly pops up in the back seat.

"You know how you know it's a spy car?" Sonic asks. "Because it doesn't look like a spy car. Just asks James Bond and he'll tell you if this isn't a spy car."

The Gremlin drives by as the garage door closes, the floor flips over revealing a sleek spy car.

Scene changes as Wario is in his bike, facing Mario. Mario chats on his cell phone.

"Action!" shouted the director.

Wario suddenly snaps out of his stupor and whips out a Cracker Barrel, immediately in character.

"Say your prayers, Mario!"

Mario turns aside from Wario.

"Oh no! Destroying plumbers when a hedgehog should-a stop. Wait?" Mario stops and takes out a script. "That didn't-a came out right and-a-"

Wario blast Mario with a Cracker Barrel.

"Probably should-a filmed that last instead of first," Mario suggested.

"We need another hedgehog," Master Hand groaned.

"Is Owen Wilson still in the business?" Crazy Hand asked.

"I think he's-a still filming his dog movie with Jennifer Aniston," Mario said.

"Well then, I'm out of ideas," Master Hand sighed as he got up to leave.

"I've never had an idea," Crazy Hand followed him.

"Let's-a see. We need a hedgehog who can-a outrun a Cracker Barrel blast and make it funny instead of," Mario vaguely gestures to screen,"...violence. If only there were such a duck. Hmmmmmmm...," Mario leans towards Gabriella, more insistent. "Hmmmm."

"What do you want me to say?" Gabriella asked. "That we shouldn't have gotten rid of Sonic? Well, a decision has been made and I think it was a sound one."

Master Hand answers casually, "You're fired."

"What?" Gabriella gasped.

Crazy Hand tells her casually, "You got rid of our best hedgehog."

"You can't fire me! My movies have made nine hundred and fifty million dollars!" Gabriella tells them.

"That's not a billion," Master Hand said.

"Nope, not a billion," Crazy hand agreed.

Gabriella says, "Okay... I think we can all agree that the decision to get rid of Sonic was a poor one." Gabriella begins to cross in front of the theater screen. "But it's time to move on..."

Just before she stops, we see Mario enter from the right and zip up behind her.

As she finishes her speech, Mario begins to act evil as his shadow becomes devilish like.

Gabriella continues, "...and by move on I mean reversing course and getting Daffy back.

Master Hand decided to let her off the hook and answered, "By Monday. This movie is costing us a million dollars a day."

"Plus gratuities," Crazy Hand added.

"I'll have Sonic back by Monday," Gabriella said.

Gabriella turns to see Mario standing against whatever-that-is, twirling a wrench and shaking his head sadly.

"I tried to-a warn you. Oh, wait, no I didn't," Mario noticed.

Mario gives a small laugh and makes an "oops" gesture. He does not, however, say, "My Bad."

The Gremlin zooms down the highway. Sonic flies out of the window and lands in the foreground, then skids out of view.

Sonic appears running next to the car and jumps through the window. He sits in the passenger seat and sits back.

"I'm getting a little tired of throwing you out of the car," Troy said.

"Dude, Sonic the Hedgehog will always be back in an instant. No matter how many times you throw me out the window," Sonic said as he is settling in. "Now if we run into anything that requires superspy skills, like cracking wise or smooching dames, you'd be better leave that to me. However, if we have any security guarding needs..."

"Very funny Sonic. But I'm not a security guard, okay? That's just what I do for money," Troy said.

"Hm hm."

"What I really am, is I'm a stuntman."

"You?" Sonic raspberries of disbelief.

"You see those High School Musical movies? I'm in them more than Zac Effron is. I had to get dancing lessons from my mom!" Sonic's eye twitches. Troy is suddenly bitter. "Oh, no, he couldn't stand that."

On the Gremlin as it drives off.

"You'd better leave everything to me."

Mario is in his office as the phone rings. He picks it up and answers, "Hello. This is-a Mario."

"Ha!" Sonic's voice comes through the phone.

"Sonic?" Mario realized.

We go to split-screen Sonic is on the cellphone, riding in the Gremlin. As Sonic talks, he casually pushes on his side of split screen, gradually occupying more of the frame and squeezing Bugs.

"Just a friendly call to inform you that while you're pretending to star in an action movie, I'm starring in my own action reality! Me and my sidekick Troy are on our way to Vegas to score the Blue Paw, a huge diamond which will enable me to buy all your friends and make them snub you at social events!" Sonic explained.

Mario is now squeezed with his knees against his chest. *

"Sonic, listen, I think I can get you your old job back with less of a pay cut than usual."

Sonic gives the split screen a tiny shove as he responds.

"Ha! Do you hear my laughter? Ha! I repeat, for your delicatation: Ha!" Sonic hangs up triumphantly. Unfortunately, he also lets go of the split screen he had been pushing. The moment he notices this, the screen "snaps" back in his direction and hits his head.

Mario stares at the receiver in confusion.

"Blue Paw?" Mario wondered.

A huge figure looks up from a book. The monitor zooms in on the red waveform: North America, West Coast, Los Angeles area, where we see a single waveform connecting a position in Beverly Hills to one in the desert.

"Blue Monkey," Mario repeats through the screen.

The figure closes his book: "PAIN AND ITS CREATION." He stands. He walks down a hallway in a building called, "GAME HEADQUARTERS".

Presiding at the acme of the dais is Master of Games (Teen Titans video game).

"That is unacceptable!" Master of Games yelled. "We cannot have nine-year-old children working in sweatshops making game sneakers! Not when three-year-olds eat so much less!

The V.P.'s all lunge for their buzzers.

"But they require naps," The Child Labor VP said.

"Put double expresso in their sippy cups," Master of Games said. The VPs all laugh as Master of Games reaches down. "All right, what's coming up next on the agenda? Where's my people? What's the next thing?"

A man taps him on the shoulder, startling him. He whispers in Master of Game's ear.

"Thank you, guy," Master of Games said and goes to the board. "Grave news, my friends." He picks up one of several remotes on his console. He hits a button and a floating video screen descends in front of the dais. The video screen is blue and says in the upper corner, "GAME ONE." "TV. Video. TV. Video," Master of Games gritted. The blue screen reads, "VIDEO 2", "VIDEO 3", "AUX", and then a Sonic Underground musical clip.

Master of Games struggles with the remote some more. Finally, a picture appears on the screen: it begins as a satellite picture of the Mojave desert, but ZOOMS IN to a car on Highway 15, and finally on the Gremlin.

Master of Games continues as if he hadn't been interrupted by this bit of business. "It seems as if Drake Bolton's son knows about the Blue Paw and is on his way to Las Vegas. We will learn the location of the diamond before he does or my name isn't...Frank?"

Master of Games pushes a button on the remote. A padded room. Drake is strapped into a folding chair. Two interrogators come at him.

"How's the interrogation going?" Master of Game asked.

Just then Drake rears back and kicks both of the interrogators square in the face. One of them staggers to his feet and talks directly to the security camera.

"He's about to crack," the interrogator panicked.

Drake drags the interrogator back with his feet.

An annoyed Master of Games clicks a button. The screen still has the Sonic Underground playing.

"We'll be together someday..." the video played.

Exasperated, he pushes another few buttons until the video screen shut's down and disappears.

"We cannot let the good guys win this time, people," Master of Games explained. "We must capture this son of a spy, we must find out the location of the diamond, and we must use it for our own diabolical ends!"

Master of Games turns to a female VP businesslike.

"Copy that to all departments," Master of Games said.

"I didn't quite get that," she answered.

"Didn't quite..." Master of Game said. "Something about capturing the son of a spy and using the diamond to our own diabolic ends... and be sure to use the laugh. I like the laugh, don't you?" he stopped abruptly. "AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?"

"Mary," she answered.

"Well, Mary..." he suddenly turned flirty. "How'd you like to do a little kissing later?" off her repulsive snort. "That's what they all say, at first."

Mr. Chairman walks to the center of the room and continued. "Soon the Game Corporation shall tower over all of creation!"

"All of creation," the Board said together.

Master of Games laughs evilly. The board joins in. As their laughter builds we pull out, through the glass walls. The Game skyscraper towers above all others.