Disclaimer: I do NOT own Inuyasha. Nor do I own the song which is 'Tonight I Wanna Cry' by Keith Urban.

Song

'thoughts'

“Speaking”

The last paragraph the big part in italics is a memory.

Alone in this house again tonight

I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine

There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me

The way that it was and could have been surrounds me

I'll never get over you walkin' away.

--

Sesshomaru sat alone in his apartment. No sounds graced by his ears or echoed around the house. Yet the TV was on flickering it's pictures across the screen. He watched them without really paying attention. His left hand rested around the neck of a bottle full of red wine. Tons of pictures decorated the walls full of him and his girlfriend. Their families poked through the pile of them every now and then. 'Sango', she was the only thought in his head after the accident. Today was the day of their 10 month anniversary. It was not a happy day. Just a month ago they had gotten into a fight. Angry at each other they had both shouted, “I HATE YOU!!” Sango had left in a rush her car tires squealing. Three hours later her car got wrecked because she had not been watching where she was going. It killed her instantly. That was the only thing he'd been grateful for: no pain. Putting his head in his hands Sesshomaru thought, 'Sango I'll never forgive myself for letting you walk away.'

--

Chorus

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show

And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control

But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain

To hell with my pride, let it fall like ran

From my eyes

Tonight I wanna cry

--

He'd never really shown any feeling at all before he had met Sango. Still even after that he'd rarely smiled, never cried, hardly got angry, and almost never laughed. Sango had said once before, “You know with the pride you have it's a miracle you even faintly smile.” Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow, “Oh, really?” Sango laughed continuing to cook, “Yes, really.” Sesshomaru grunted throwing the bottle of wine at the wall, 'To hell with all my pride, she deserves my tears.' He thought though his body was way ahead of him letting the fresh scent of salty tears sting his nose and carve trails down his pale cheeks.

--

Would it help If I turned a sad song on?

“All By Myself” would sure hit me hard now that you're gone

Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters

It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better

But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

--

Sesshomaru wondered about turning on some sad song. Sango had said that listening to one helps get over your grief. Sesshomaru shook his head remembering the one time they listened to All By Myself. “I'll never let you be by yourself,” she had promised. What an empty promise it was. Fate seemed to be against it as soon as it was made. He knew the pain would only get worse until it got better. It would make him want to hide away. 'No I can't hide it'll make it worse.'

--

Chorus

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show

And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control

But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain

To hell with my pride, let it fall like ran

From my eyes

Tonight I wanna cry

--

The tears kept coming. It made him feel good as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. A small part of him felt ashamed though his moral had always been, “Never lose your self control and you can be strong.” It was empty as was Sango's promise. If you did not let go what use was your pride? Nothing.

--

Chorus

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show

And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control

But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain

To hell with my pride, let it fall like ran

From my eyes

Tonight I wanna cry

--

“Oh my god! Are you alright?” a woman's voice called to him. Painfully he cracked open his eyes to look up at a frantic woman staring down worriedly at him. 'She's beautiful,' he thought randomly. He must have said it out loud because the young woman's face had a slight red tinge. “Great, I hit a guy with my car knocked his brain loose and he calls me...b-beautiful,” she stumbled over the last part. Apparently not many called her beautiful. She flipped open her phone calling an ambulance then kneeled down next to his ear, “I'll be right back I just need to move my car.” Sesshomaru felt a sort of loss with the mystery person left. Minutes later she was back by his side. Then the pain suddenly crashed down on him like a thousand elephants. He didn't even grimace. “I wonder if I broke his back he hasn't complained at all...OH GOD I PARALIZED A MAN!!” Sesshomaru forced himself through the pain to brush her hand muttering so quietly the girl had to lean close to hear, “It does hurt, but showing it is weakness.” Sango looked at him in a sad knowing kind of way. “Oh...Well if you ever do need someone to lay your feelings on call,” she said writing down her number and tucking it in his shirt. Emergency sirens sounded in the air and he was whisked away into the van barely catching her name. 'Sango, what a pretty name for a beautiful woman,' he thought to himself.

Sesshomaru climbed into bed muttering, “To hell with my pride. Tonight I'll cry.” That's how he fell asleep wet stains on his face.