|What You Fight For
Author: Athena PM
The Merines he believes in doesn’t exist. Spoilers through the end of the main quest.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst - Words: 491 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 09-24-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4557577
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"What You Fight For"
Why are you fighting, Walter? What do you fight for?
I fight for … my people. For those who cannot fight themselves.
A noble cause. But when do you … breathe? When do you take in the world around you? You are so young, and yet…
Questions he can't answer. Questions he doesn't want to answer. He has too much to prepare for, too much to think about. He can't worry about the moments after. He doesn't have the luxury.
But now. Now, as he lies on the floor, staring at that tattooed face.
He doesn't know if he makes sense anymore. He doesn't know if he can hear him.
I fight for … her. I fight for everything she stands for.
I can't let her fall. So I fight.
I can't let her … die. So I fight.
I can't fail her.
Beyond him, he can almost see a girl framed in blue. Like the tide itself, washing over a porcelain face.
He reaches for her.
Merines. Merines, this is… I failed you.
He can see his own hand. His shaking hand. It doesn't hurt to move anymore. Not if he looks at her.
But her eyes aren't on him. No, she instead stares at that tattooed face.
Merines. I tried. I tried to protect you.
His hand won't reach her. Can't reach her. She isn't really there.
But he reaches out to her shadow. Like he has his entire life.
Why are you fighting, Walter?
…So she can fulfill her duty.
He wants to scream. He wants to yell. He wants to tear his face apart.
Look at me, Merines! Can't you see what you've done to me?!
He's chasing a shadow. A girl who doesn't exist. One who would acknowledge him, and take his hand though he isn't worthy. One who would end his suffering and give him back everything that was taken from him.
The Merines he believes in doesn't exist.
I'm dying for you, Merines! I'm dying for you, like your sister and Fenimore and countless others! Why won't you look at me!?
In his final moments, he's going insane. Everything is falling apart. The truth is laid bare, the truth that he's known but denied.
Why did you choose him!? Why!? I gave up my life for your legacy! I gave up everything!
She won't answer. She can't. She isn't really there.
His hand falls. He can't feel anymore.
What do you fight for?
A dream. A legend. A lie.
He can almost imagine a wondrous hand holding his. Those brilliant eyes he dreamed of meeting his.
But he can't feel anymore. Can't see anymore. Can barely think.
…I fought for myself.
Because I didn't want to believe the dream was over.