Once upon a time Sephiroth was walking down Northumberland Street in Newcastle, he was due to meet Vincent at HMV in ten minutes; but since he had time to spare, Sephiroth decided to go check out Fenwick’s window, because it was all decked out in festive cheer.

This year the narrative behind the fake-frosted glass window was the Nativity, starring Loz, Yazoo and Kadaj as the three wise men. Sephiroth pushed to the front of the queuing Christmas shoppers to get a better look, pushing young children out of the way.

Suddenly Yuffie jumped out of the queue and started to shriek at the top of her lungs about how it wasn’t in the spirit of Christmas to push in front of little kids, but of course, Sephiroth didn’t listen. Instead he merely shoved Marlene and Denzel out of his way to get a better look at Kadaj’s shiny hair.

Seeing this, Cloud and Tifa rushed over to the two kids to offer them comfort. Seeing Marlene crying over a scraped knee Cloud whipped out his handy-dandy pocket sized buster sword and sliced Sephiroth in half. Instead of the Christmas shoppers being covered in spurting blood, sweets and candy began pouring out of Sephiroths body halves.

All the surrounding children began cheering and rushed to gather up the fallen treats, climbing over Sephiroths remains in the process.

Cloud paused in wonderment at the sight of the sweets, but not for long as he swiped a handful for himself.

It was truly a Christmas Miracle.

The moral of this story is; Never put off meeting Vincent…even if you are early.