One shot trade with Evalena: prompt was "Naruto and Sasuke conversation. Your choice of setting, tone, topic, etc."

I am sorry, Evalena. I could not resist.

DF

The Great Conversation

“Dude, and all I’m saying is that Kakashi wears those baggy pants to hide his enormous ass.”

Sasuke grunted noncommittally. “It looks pretty normal to me.”

“No way, man. Watch him when he sits down. Enormous.”

“Do you make a hobby out of checking out Yamato’s butt, too?”

“This is for science. Kakashi’s haunches could set a new world record.”

“Dobe, I’ve known him for years, and I’ve never noticed anything unusual.”

“Dude, have you seen episode twelve?”

“Shippuden?”

“No, the original series.”

“The one with the bridge?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“I watched it, like, halfway through.”

“Yeah, well, there’s this one part where Kakashi sits down, and his caboose is about three feet wide, no joke.”

The Uchiha snorted. “It was probably an animation error.”

“Or maybe an ANATOMY error.”

Sasuke eyebrows disappeared into his hairline.

“And this is what you’re going on.”

“Exactly.”

“Bullshit.”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

Sasuke blinked. Naruto twitched his whisker marks and looked coy.

“…Sharingan?”

“Fuck no.”

“C’mon, teme,” Naruto whined. “You can’t sit there and tell me that you ‘re not curious.”

“I said no, dobe.”

“Sasukeeeeeee…”

“No means no!”

“No does NOT mean no!” Naruto yelled, clinging to his knees. “Just do it!”

“NO!”

“I would have asked Neji, but he’s not on our team and he wouldn’t understaaaaaannd!”

“No one would understand what goes on inside your head.”

“Dude, c’mon!” Naruto’s blue eyes expanded to an unprecedented size. “Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“C’mon man! Don’t be a pussy!”

“I am not a pussy.”

“Yeah, well, this is IMPORTANT.”

"No."

"PLEASE?"

Sasuke sighed. “If I look, will you leave me alone for the rest of the week?”

Naruto nodded vigorously.

“And promise never to ask me to do some other stupid stunt with the Sharingan for the rest of your natural life?”

Naruto beamed and bounced up and down on the balls of his feet. Sasuke shook his head.

“I have no idea why I even talk to you.”

“Quit bitching, teme. Do it already.”

The Uchiha scowled and activated his bloodline limit, reluctantly scanning the keister in question.

“Shit,” Sasuke gasped. “It’s…it’s…”

Naruto gripped his hair in excitement. “What is it? Is it huge?”

“…it’s…”

“What? WHAT?”

The sharingan deactivated. “Normal sized. Now shut the hell up.”

A/N: I…can’t…

…ffffffffffffff

I don’t know.