|Calling all females
Author: immortal7 PM
Pervert. A person thats sexual behavior is unacceptable. And in the village of the leaf this is a tale of how one man, no a boy almost made his preversion acceptable. And how a demon stole his dream. oneshot.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Naruto U. & Sasuke U. - Words: 1,517 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Published: 09-25-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4558585
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
-1Disclaimer: Don't own in the slightest.
A/n: I guess this could be considered a silly fic. Warning this fic contains Sakura/fan girl bashing, On an even more serious note this fic raises Sasuke's player status about six notches. Which pains me since I dislike Sasuke. Naruto will be OOC slightly. It is a one shot and came to me as I toasted a bagel. Yum bagel.
Calling all females
Naruto sat there for a second as Sasuke got done giving his dream. The first thought that he had of course was a thought all those who felt them to be important had and that was I hope he doesn't mean me. And while Sakura gave he less than subtle hints at what she wanted with her life while at the same time dismissing him, Naruto felt a small amount of guilt for his next move.
Naruto at the moment Sakura stopped talking started to laugh so hard that he fell over on to his side. He could tell that his sudden shift in temperament took the other three by surprise. Finally as if being offended by the way he was laughing Sakura spoke up. "What the hell do you find so funny Naruto?" Kakashi was taken back by the sudden amount of killer intent directed at the blonde by a girl he had not seconds ago dismissed as a useless fan girl.
After a few more moments of laughing Naruto lifted his head off the ground and his face turned very serious. "I'm laughing at you, Sakura-chan. I mean I can't believe that I ever could fall for a woman like you. I mean after want the teme just admitted and you still want to be with your precious Sasuke-kun. I mean that's a great premise for a porn flick, but I didn't think that you would ever be like that Sakura." Naruto stopped to take a breath and turned his attention to Kakashi.
"And you what kind of Jounin are you? I can't believe that you let her sit there and admit such ambitions in life. I mean yes I know that sometimes kunoichi
are called upon to do certain things for infiltration missions, but to just let her sit there and admit to wanting to live her life that way what are you some kind of pervert?" Naruto held on to his serious look for the next step of his sudden inspiration.
He got up and walked closer to Sasuke. When he reached out to pat his fellow ninja on the back. He almost grinned as he felt Sasuke flinch under the physical action. "You know what teme I don't think I have ever been more proud of a person, I take that back of a fellow male than I have at this moment. These last two years being upset with you having all those girls attack each other over you only to have this planned. Now I'll admit that I'm still a little upset over your plan and how well it seems to be working and I can say a lot of other guys are going to be as well but, I'll be damned if I can't say you don't have balls for admitting what you just did and you did not even get hit once." With that Naruto slapped Sasuke on the back one more time and sat back down looking at Kakashi.
Seeing the still stunned look on his sensei's face Naruto decided to get things moving again. "Well are you going to teach us anything or just sit there and stare sensei." Kakashi went to answer only to be cut off by Sakura.
"What the hell were you just talking about? And where do you get off basically implying those kinds of things about me Naruto?" She went to hit the blonde only to be stopped by the voice of said blonde.
"Do I have to spell it out to you?" Naruto stopped ant looked at all three of them and each with equal looks of confusion on there faces. "You mean to tell me that after everything he just said you are still willing to admit wanting to be with him, but not know what kind of things you are agreeing to?" With that said Naruto gave a smirk that sent small shivers down the occupants of the roof balcony.
"Sakura how many different people are in a clan? You know what don't bother answering that. A clan is a group of families that are related through a common ancestor. Now knowing that how can you and Him resurrect a clan if there is just you. Even if you pop out lots and lots of babies that would still only make you a rather large family." Naruto laughed out loud finally at the sight of horror on his sensei's face and the way the silver-haired man suddenly was looking for a way to get as far away from the dark haired youths presence as fast as possible. He was also grabbing hold of a small orange book and whispering sweet nothings and false promises of its safety to it. Naruto even noticed that at the moment Sakura had gained a slight idea of what it was she had just admitted out loud. She kept looking at who was a mere moment ago the love of her life with a strange mix of rage red and sick and disturbed green coloring her face. It seemed at that moment only Sasuke didn't now the boundaries that his words had just crossed.
Naruto decided to illuminate the poor boy, but instead of talking to him to his face Naruto continued his explanation to Sakura. "Sasuke just admitted that he is going to marry multiple women to help recreate his clan and not only that but between the way the village and all his fan girls throw themselves he must think it is going to happen. Otherwise no male in the village would ever be able to admit something with such confidence and to be sober as well to make such a statement."
The village suddenly became very quiet as if in shock form the revelation by its blonde demon container. Sasuke felt himself go cold and a slight tremble of fear danced across his skin. The love that the village had been giving him for years suddenly slipped from him and Sasuke knew now what true loneliness felt like for the first time. Yet a true feeling of despair danced on him as if with Naruto's last worlds were more like the blonde had just written his name in ink for the death sentence of one Sasuke Uchiha
. "Well that and I wonder if as clan head since that is what he will be if he has the ability to have two or more of his wives to get together since after having so many kids their kunoichi figures would have been demoted to blotted and pump monuments of fat. I mean looking at that day after day he would have to do something to help him get it up since we all know kunoichi no matter how powerful would never be able to be ninjas ever again, ten or twelve kids will do that to a person. That and I'm sure that the village would agree to letting him have the wives since they all want the Uchiha clan back." Naruto stopped talking and got one final look at the person he had at one moment considered a rival before running from what he felt to be a rather large amount of killing intent aimed in this direction.
Sasuke for his part could only sit in fear as he felt the killer intent of the village settle into his bones. Finally he looked up and saw that the two other males of the area had long since left. And besides that the last thing he saw was Sakura's fist aiming for his face sending him straight to the ground making him slide into a wall. "I hate perverts." Sasuke cowered in fear as what seemed to be a hundred voices echoed Sakura's settlement and were getting closer. And if anyone would have been listening the sound of the blonde's laughter would have chilled them to the bone. As the descended to the once golden boy of the village of the Hidden Leaf.
A/N This was suppose to be silly but it might have not gotten my idea across as well as I wanted it. Oh well read review or don't, but the feedback and comments would be nice. That and I know Naruto seem a little more mature and mean, but for a village full of pervert hating women I always thought that line should have gotten Sasuke beat the shit out of and Naruto was the best to get the idea out. Well I hope you enjoyed later everyone.