DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST AND DONT CLAIM TO, I ONLY WRITE WITH THE CHARACTERS THAT ARE CONTAINED THERE IN.

Haunted

FMA

Fan Fiction #1

Ed sat down on the bench at the edge of the park in Central. Where had things gone so wrong? He and Al had been a great team until about a year ago when things started to go all wrong for them. First had been the fact that no matter how hard they tried they had not been able to find out any more about the stone than what it was that they all ready knew. That had caused them to argue something that they didn’t do often, but now it was almost everyday. Second had been that Ed had started pulling missions that Mustang wouldn’t allow his brother to accompany him on which left Al on his own a lot. Mustang had warned him that this day might come but Ed had always thought his brother would understand that this was a part of the life that they had now. He had decided a while back to set his brother up in an apartment of his own so that they would stop arguing so much. Al didn’t have to worry about anything because Ed had all the bills taken out of his pay but Al still didn’t seem to be happy. Ed knew that Al wouldn’t be until he had his body back but at the same time Ed was getting to the point that until they found a fool proof way to do it, that to do anything with his brother’s condition would cause more damage. Winry had moved in with Al not that long ago and though they appeared to be happy it didn’t seem to be that way in truth. Last but not least were the strange and confusing emotions that he felt around a certain member of his team at work. He knew what they were but at the same time had no idea how to deal with them. Yet another reason he had set his brother some where else. Al had woke him up several times asking him about sounds that he had been making while he was sleeping. He had never been able to tell his brother what those dreams had been about. The shame that he felt for having those dreams kept him silent. He knew that his brother would never understand why he felt that way about the person that he felt it. Ed himself had issues at times. No one knew about his private obsession and he wanted to keep it that way.

He closed his eyes and thought about the face that haunted him at night. More often than not he hated himself for not knowing how to pursue what it was that he wanted. He was sure though that the face in his minds eye was completely interested in someone else. A sigh erupted from his lips as he thought about that face and the ache that accompanied it. He hated the fact that he was such a coward then again considering whose face it was that he saw he couldn’t quite say he was that much of one. Just one word to anyone would cause the whole team to look at him strangely and or laugh at him. He couldn’t take either so he kept his silence and prayed that there would come a time that he and his object of obsession would be able to sit down and talk. A mission for the two of them would be perfect but considering the rank differences he had doubts about that ever happening. He could hope and pray all that he wanted but until he was a higher rank there was almost no way that he would be able to get this face on a mission with him alone. He could ask for him to go with him but at the same time that kind of thing didn’t happen in the military that he was in. He would have to wait until there was a time that he could do so. He had waited ten years so far what were a few more so that he could be a higher rank so that he could pull the one person that he wanted to on a mission.

Midnight in Central City still found people walking around. With it being the hub of the military there was no reason for them to think that they were not safe here. He knew though that there were things out here that weren’t all that nice. He didn’t at times like the knowledge that he had but at the same time that knowledge gave him an edge that no other alchemist had. He used it so that he could make it out of problems that came upon him from time to time.

At times he wished that the one that he thought of would think of him in a more intimate way. The power that they had would be more than enough to take care of the problems that they faced from day to day. He wanted so much to be a part of this person’s life even just a little more than he was but at the same time he knew that it wouldn’t happen that way. They were too different to work out well. They had the same thoughts about helping others but they went about it in different ways. There was only so much they would both give to make sure that things were done. Ed had no issues with whom he irritated; the person that he wanted in his life had to watch his step. There was only so much that one could do to keep with in the rules that had been set for them. They had found ways around them but at the same time he knew at times that his superior officer at times had to take the brunt of his actions. He might agree with what it was that he had done but that didn’t mean that he was all right with the bitching out that he received from the higher ups.

He didn’t want to go home to the dorm to night. He wanted to follow the one that he desired in a way that made him ache terribly but knew that he couldn’t. He had to go home so that he could go in to the office in the morning and tell Mustang that his last mission was a success, even though he had been slightly wounded during the fight with the homogulus he was all right. There was something to be said about determination. He looked around him his eyes still seeing in the back of his mind the face of his tormentor. Why couldn’t he just walk up to it and tell the person that he wanted more? Was it really all that wrong? He was sure that even if he just talked to the person out side of the office that they would find that they had more in common than they thought that they did. The problem was getting this person to see him outside of the office without harm coming to the either of them. He hated knowing who it was that he wanted in his life. There had to be a reason that he wanted this person other than the ache in his heart. He had to find a way to ease it other than by his own mind and his own hand. Time couldn’t move fast enough to make him happy.

He stood from the bench noticing that yet again he had issues that he would have to deal with once he was home again. There had to be a way. He didn’t like having to do those things to himself while the image of that face haunted him. What would everyone think if they knew that the only one that he wanted would in no way want him? He allowed the sigh that had filled him to break the surface there was no reason for him to keep hiding this from himself. It had happened and now he had to deal with it just as he had to all the things that had happened in his life. He had known the man for a long time and he would simply walk away knowing that what he wanted was out of his reach.

He looked down at the automail arm that Winry had made for him but to tell the truth he didn’t mind that the arm was there. What he did mind was the fact that no matter how much he might want it to be flesh it wouldn’t be. Once his brother Al had his body back he was finished with human transmutation. There was nothing wrong with the arm but he had to make sure that he didn’t tear it up again. He didn’t think that she would take care of it again. The look on her face when he had told her that he was trying to do what he thought was right in leaving Al was more than enough to tell him that she wouldn’t do much for him anymore. Couldn’t she see that it was time that the two of them separated for a while? The guys at the office all thought that it was time as did Ed. He had had to have time to himself so that he would no longer have to come up with lame lies about what was going on with him. With his brother out of the house there was nothing that he had to lie about other than what it was that his missions needed from him or how far from Central he had started to travel.

Al would worry about him and that was the last thing that he needed right now. He wanted the freedom that he had now that his brother had his own place. That didn’t mean in any way that Ed partied or anything like that just that he could do as he wanted while he was in his own place. Al had wanted to do things the way that their mother would have but Ed wanted to live his own life knowing that that was what his mother would have wanted for the two of them. Al had to move on and when he had his body Ed was sure that he and Winry would have all that they wanted in each other. They were a much better match than he and Winry had ever been. There was no reason for him to be in their lives right now. He would be all right on his own. He had Havoc, Fuery, Hawkeye and Armstrong that thought of him as a part of their family. They had helped him move his brother out so that he had time to himself. They had been there for him the first night that he had been all alone. There was something to be said for the family that he had now. He could call them at any time that he wanted. They didn’t care they wanted to talk to him, where as his brother only asked the same question time after time. He had a lot of people depending on him and he wasn’t about to let them all down but right now the stress of his brothers constant pleas was more than he could handle. He wanted some peace in his life but there was nothing that he could do to get it right now other than to do what it was that he always did and close his eyes to the thoughts of what his life entailed right now.

The walk back to the dorms wasn’t all that long but it was enough that the issues that he had had when he left the park had gone down some. He would have to find a way to talk to the person that he wanted. Granted he would see them in the morning but that wasn’t going to be good enough. He wanted to be with the person that he wanted not just in their presence. He had to find a way maybe if he could he would be able to move on and get them out of his system. He hoped that that would be the case but he wasn’t all that sure anymore. It had been going on for so long that he didn’t know what if anything would change that. He had to work through this that was yet another reason that he had moved his brother out of his place so that he would have the time to think through all of this. That didn’t mean that it had changed anything just that he knew more of what was going on in his life than he had to start with.

His room was cold, that was nothing new. He had turned the heat down because he wanted to curl up in the blankets on the bed and stay there. He wanted to feel someone behind him which was the reason that he had bought a few more pillows so that he could place them behind him. He wanted the comfort of another person in his life one that wanted to be there to stay there with him. Why couldn’t he have that? All anyone wanted from him most of the time was the use of his powers no matter how strange they were. He hated the fact that he was prodigy. No one seemed to want him for more than that. He wanted life and love to work hand in hand although that was something that he was sure only existed in fairy tales. He looked around the small space that he had to call his own. There was nothing new here other than the light that was connected to his phone was blinking. That meant that no matter how much he didn’t want to he had to check to see who had called him while he had been out. There couldn’t be that many messages hell every one that called him knew that he was out of town on a mission from Mustang. He moved to the phone praying against the odds that Al wasn’t one of the ones that had called to him while he was out this time.

“Message One: Al: You know that I have been sitting here for almost a month with out a word from you. Are you dead? If you aren’t then you should call me and tell me what you have found out about the stone. I mean it brother you are the reason that I am stuck like this and I think that you owe me. CLICK”

Message Two: Winry: I just thought that you would like to know that your brother and I want to get married sometime soon Ed. I know that you all ready have a lot on your plate but you have to finish the stone soon so that we can live the life that you don’t seem to want. Call me when you get this so that we can set the date for the wedding. CLICK.”

Message Three: Hawkeye: Fullmetal I know that you are busy with your mission but I heard from the Brigadier General that you are supposed to come to him in a matter of utmost importance. You are to tell no one of this meeting and it is supposed to take place tomorrow at first light. I am told that is all that I need to know. Things have been strange around here I hope that you know what you are getting into Fullmetal. The Fuehrer was here this morning with a package for the Brigadier General, I don’t like what is going on Fullmetal I hope you are all right. Call me when you get the chance. CLICK.”

“Message Four: Brigadier General Mustang: Lieutenant Colonel Edward Elric Codename Fullmetal, The Fuehrer has given me something for you. When you get into town from your mission call me, which is an order. On a more personal note I hope that all is well with you. Remember Fullmetal call me. CLICK.”

Damn, thought Ed as he looked at himself in the mirror on the other side of the room. He didn’t want to show up looking like this, then again he had been told that the meeting was in the morning. What was it that was so important to the Fuehrer that he would come to him to talk to him, or to even give him something? There was only one thing that he wanted but right now he knew that there was no way that he would be able to get it from the Fuehrer. Ed sat down on the bed and looked at the phone on the table. Did he have to call Mustang to night? The answer to that was yes, but he didn’t want to having the knowledge that he would have to face him alone. It wasn’t that he was afraid of Mustang rather was terrified as to what the Fuehrer could want with him or have for him to deal with. There was only so much that one alchemist could do. He sat down on the bed and thought about what he would have to do before he made a move to get ready for this. Granted they thought that he would take the morning train to Central but he didn’t. He had taken the night train so that he could have some time alone. If the Fuehrer had something that he needed to see then he knew that he should do something about it immediately. That thought didn’t sit well with him but he knew that was how he did things.

He rose from the bed so that he could change his clothes. Granted they wanted him to wear the military uniform that came with his new rank but he had opted to keep his own clothing. As it was no one would believe that he was a Lieutenant Colonel at such a young age. He gathered up his clothes and walked into the bathroom so that he could take a shower.

As the warm water washed over his body he thought about hands particular hands moving over him instead. He ached to know what it was that it would feel like to have those strong hands on him but knew that he would more than likely never know. He wanted to feel those warm lips as they brushed the skin of his neck and stole his breath from him. He wanted to hear that voice the one that caused fear in so many to whisper his name in the night soothing him when the nightmares came back to haunt him. Those were all things that he knew that he wouldn’t get. There was no way that the face that he could plainly see would do that for him. He allowed the sigh that had built up in his chest to move through him. There had to be a reason that this person that tortured him did so.

Ed waited until all the hot water was gone praying that the ache in him would leave him. He had a feeling though that it wouldn’t until the one that he thought of thought of him in the same way. There was nothing else that he could do other than to take care of it himself, that was something that he had done far too often during the time that he had known this person. It was time that he stopped taking the matter into his own hands and moved on the one that caused the issues with him. He might lose everything or he could gain, what was there more than what he had. He could lose the house but he had more than enough money to get a new one so that wasn’t an issue. The fact was that he was scared if the one that he wanted turned him away that he would lose the one thing that he couldn’t transfigure, his heart.

He walked out of the tub and into the main room still shrouded in darkness. The only reason that there had been light here in the dorm room was the fact that his brother didn’t like the dark. Ed on the other hand liked it, it hid so many secrets that he didn’t want to the world to know. The tears that he shed at night thinking about what his life had become, tears over the ache that haunted him. The whispers of love that fell from his lips as he fought the war with himself about the one that he cared for a war that he was sure he would lose. The torture of his injuries that he didn’t want anyone to see, the pain of his automail limbs that at times had to be repaired by him so that he could function again. There were many reasons for him to have the room dark, he liked the idea that here and no where else he could be who he was at times, a frightened child that was stuck doing a job that few would do.

The clothing on the sink was just what he would normally wear. Nothing much had changed there, black tank top under a black jacket but this one didn’t have the silver on the edges of it, black leather pants that he had more than grown accustomed to in the time that he had been a “dog of the military”, his black gloves that hid from the world the fact that he had an automail arm, it wasn’t some thing that he wanted everyone to know. Last but not least the one thing that had changed in the time that he had been a state alchemist, his coat. It wasn’t the red that he had been known for, for quite some time, it was now black with a silver caduceus on the back of it. It was something that he had changed a while back, when he realized that there was nothing much more to him than the life that he had made for himself.

He picked up the phone knowing that he couldn’t delay this any longer. He had to call Brigadier General Mustang and let him know that he was back in town. He closed his eyes and thought about the General knowing that the picture that formed in his mind was quite out of the question.

“Lieutenant Commander Kain Fuery, please.” Sighed Ed into the phone knowing that Mustang would want them to talk over a secure line.

“Fullmetal I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow, what brought you back tonight?” asked Fuery

“Caught an early train so that I would have the night to rest but I received a message from the Brigadier General and was told to contact him when I returned. I need a secure line.”

“All right Fullmetal; hope to see you in the morning.”

“I still have to give my report. Can you connect me with the Brigadier General?” asked Ed knowing that though Fuery meant well that postponing this would do nothing for him in the long run except piss off Mustang.

“Line secure, Brigadier General Mustang is coming on the line. Later Fullmetal.”

“Later Fuery.”

“Fullmetal I see you have come to town early, might I ask why?” asked Mustang. Ed almost fell to his knees at the sound of that voice in his ear. There was almost nothing that he wouldn’t do for Mustang just to hear that voice. He didn’t want to hear the anger that that voice could carry with it. There were other things that he wanted to hear in it. He couldn’t though he would have to take what he could get.

“Sir I needed a night of rest. Sorry sir that I didn’t call you when I entered town.”

“Ed it is all right I know that you were injured while you were on mission. How bad was it?”

“Not easy sir but you know how it is. I will be all right just need some rest. What is it you needed sir?” asked Ed keeping the polite tone that he had come to use with Mustang after he had found out more about the General’s life till now.

“The Fuehrer asked me to give something to you though I know what you will do with it. I don’t know where he came up with it but I think that you should meet me tonight.”

“Is that an order?” asked Ed

“It is for your brother Ed do I have to make it one?” asked Mustang

“No for him you don’t. Where do you wish to meet?” asked Ed

“In the park you know where.”

“Same place?” asked Ed remembering the last time that they had met in the park it was the night that he had sent Al to a new place so that he could have a life to himself.

“Yes, I can be there in ten what about you?” asked Mustang

“About the same.”

“Very well then meet me there.”

“Yes sir.” Answered Ed

“By the way Edward I know that you have been taking harder missions for sometime and have gained a lot of rank in the time that you have been away from your brother is there a reason for the sudden push?” asked Mustang

“If there is sir I don’t know what it would be.”

“I think you do, in time you will tell me of that I am sure. See you in ten.”

“Yes sir.” Answered Ed placing the phone back on the hook and reaching for his boots. He didn’t have much time. If this had something to do with his brother he would make sure that he was there on time.

He pulled the boots on and looked around him, he would be back tonight then he would rest. The bed and pillows seemed to scream out his name something that he knew that he would have to deal with soon. He walked out the door and locked it so that he wouldn’t have to worry about his research. There were those that didn’t like the fact that he was doing what he was for his brother. There were those too that didn’t like the fact that he was so young and taking on the missions that he was now. They would have to deal with that though, there were reasons for him to do what he did. He wanted to make a difference at the same time he wanted to make sure that he didn’t hurt any one that didn’t have it coming.