Across barriers both cultural and geographic the Shitennou stretch their metaphysical arms of nurturing protection. Together they create an unseen safety net that cradles and supports the entire planet with all her varied array of life. They weave the threads of nature to create the entire tapestry of the ever-changing world.

Adins Presents

"My Four Kings"

Today's Episode: Cheeseburger in Paradise

"You look like something the Hamburgler shit out." Nephrite said to Jadeite who was standing nearby covered head-to-toe in a thick, brown, sludgy paste courtesy of a temperamental deep-fryer.

"Yeah, you look great." Jadeite returned as he toweled his face of the oily sludge.

"I told you it needed at least 24 hours of initial warm-up and acclamation time before you could replace the oil and fry up whole frigging chicken." Zoisite told the pair with a knowing grin and a poor imitation of their voices: "But hell no! Don't listen to Zoisite, he doesn't know his dick from a deep fryer! He's just a lazy-ass prima donna fuck-head! He isn't manly enough to understand the intricate workings of such a machine! What the hell did I tell you, bitches?"

"You only knew that because you read the manual." Nephrite informed him as he fiddled with temperature dials on the stainless steel contraption.

"Yeah, I read the fucking manual!" Zoisite screeched and slapped a hand to his forehead, "What a novel idea! Read the rule book before you pretend you know how to play the game, Jesus Christ! You could have saved three hours worth of clean-up and repair and saved Jadeite a few second-degree burns!"

"More like third…" Jadeite whined as he pawed at a burn on his left elbow.

"A man doesn't need instructions when he has intuition." Nephrite stated philosophically, "And it's better to learn from your mistakes, anyway. Christ, Zoisite you of all people should know that considering the Sherpa-sack full of regrets you haul around."

"Fuck you, Nephrite." Zoisite pouted and crossed his arms.

"We just about ready to fire that thing up?" Kunzite asked poking his head through the door. His trademark silver-white hair was pulled back in a ponytail for the first time in centuries.

"Please don't say fire …" Jadeite complained again as he nursed another grease burn on his forehead.

"Twist up some ice in your panty-bunch and knock off the cry-fest, Jed." Nephrite suggested as he dropped a basket into the deep fryer full of frozen french fries and they immediately began sizzling, "Hoo-Ah! We got heat!"

"Three hours later." Zoisite remarked and rolled his eyes.

"Come on, seriously." Kunzite pleaded and walked into the room. He was wearing a white dress shirt half-unbuttoned with a matching black jacket and pants and looking very classy, "The city health inspector is going to be here to white-glove this place and we're nowhere near ready!"

"We're getting there." Zoisite said with a yawn and waved him off.

Nephrite added, "Yeah and you know, here's a novel idea: since you, how should I say, stole the Golden Crystal from Mamoru -the sacred birthright of our master Endymion, steward of the planet- just so he wouldn't have to "worry" about it, you might try pitching in on a little of this grunt work yourself so we insignificant peons also don't have to worry so much."

"I told you I'm not discussing that until the inspections are done, the restaurant is opened and we get everything running smoothly." Kunzite growled and drew the palm of his hand across his face, "So if you want to talk about it then get your asses in gear, work on your checklists and let's get this place rolling. Okay?"

"Yeah. Fine." Nephrite huffed and turned away to attend to the bubbling fryer.

Kunzite frowned and his shoulders slumped. The unhappy business of Mamoru and Kunzite's choices were problem enough, but the eldest king had far too much other business on his plate with all the deeds, loans, and applications being in his name and all. The building they managed to find to house the Four Kings Bar and Grill wasn't in poor condition, but he felt it still needed work to get up to spec. True to their intentions, they found an old warehouse that fit the "roadhouse" feel complete with petrified wooden floorboards, exposed heating & ventilation ducts, and a permanent musty odor reminiscent of cigars and the inside of an old refrigerator.

Most of the tables in their restaurant were round slabs of heavy wood bolted to the top of wooden barrels surrounded by sturdy-looking stools. The bar was a long J-shape inlaid with brass with a library-sized shelf behind it holding a myriad of liquors and glasses. The walls were covered with assortments of oddities and baubles including vinyl records, photographs, license plates, bumper stickers, and other assorted paraphernalia. Several ceiling fans rotated creakily from above. There was a shuffleboard table, two pool tables, and dart boards located in one corner, a jukebox in another, and bathrooms which according to Nephrite accommodated "room for your ass and a gallon of gas." The whole building was lit with a dull gaslight glow. In short: a den of manliness.

The deep-fryer was the last addition to the kitchen whose other accoutrements included a huge walk-in cooler and meat freezer, grills and ovens. In the back behind the building Nephrite had installed two wood fired barbecue pits which he had declared would be his domain and his alone. For the last three days he had been spending nights at the restaurant locked in a storage closet secretly mixing his supposedly award-winning barbecue sauce. Not only were the ingredients a closely guarded secret, but he maintained the declaration that nobody could even witness its preparation, leading the other Shitennou to believe that in some way Nephrite was breaking a law while preparing the sauce.

"Holy shit dude, I'm getting pretty pumped about this!" Jadeite announced and slammed his fist into his palm in excited anticipation.

"Well fucking wipe all this shit down again if you're so excited!" Kunzite ordered and turned towards Nephrite, "You, hit up the bar and make sure the guns are working and that the CO2 levels are normal." He turned to Zoisite, "You go top off the salt & pepper shakers and run the broom over the floor again."

"Hey, Wolfgang Fuck." Nephrite said annoyed and poked Kunzite in the shoulder blade, "You seriously need to chill the hell out. We've been at this for weeks; the place looks as good as it's gonna get. A little speck of dirt here or there isn't going to matter as long as we don't have salmonella running around all over the place."

"Yeah well most business ventures fail because people get lazy." Kunzite responded and grabbed a rag hanging near the kitchen's large sink and started absentmindedly scrubbing the stainless steel counters, "I put a lot of hard work into this place and I'm not going to let it go to shit because you guys don't feel like wiping down the tables!"

"I dunno man, I'm with Neph on this one." Jadeite agreed with a slightly nervous leer, "You've been hitting this thing on all cylinders and it's really inspirational, don't get me wrong, but you've got to calm down or you're gonna burn out."

"Yeah, Kunzite." Zoisite added, "And I'm sure this whole thing with Mamoru and the kinzuishou has to be eating away at you pretty bad."

"I'm going to politely ask all three of you one final time not to bring that up again before I start locking people in the meat freezer." Kunzite threatened though with not as much gravitas as normal, the stress of his restaurateuring getting the better of him.

Suddenly a knock came at the front entrance of the bar which rattled the chain-and-padlock security system loudly and snapped the Shitennou to attention. Kunzite shoved his buffing cloth into the back pocket of his pants and started flailing his arms, gesticulating to the other three to move to their designated places around the restaurant and prepare for their arriving guest. With a tug of his cuffs and a hand through his scalp, Kunzite practically leaped across the floor and started unlocking the front door.

"Man he is really getting off on this, isn't he?" Jadeite asked his two colleagues who were standing behind the bar leaning in various positions.

"Our fearless leader needs to be in charge of something or else is skull might collapse from the vacuum of his deflating ego." Nephrite responded with an unsavory sneer.

"You don't need to be so harsh on him, dick." Zoisite reprimanded the elder king, "He's always been like this: a little bit obsessive."

"A little bit?" Nephrite asked, "Is that the excuse we're going to use about the delightful little Golden Crystal issue? Kunzite is just so obsessive about protecting Mamoru that he's stealing his birthright?"

"I don't think he stole anything, Nephrite." Jadeite attempted to soothe his belligerent companion, "This is Kunzite we're talking about; the man who calls the library to give them a heads-up when he's going to be returning a book a day late."

"Whatever you think Jed, I have my own suspicions." Nephrite answered.

"Suspicions?" Zoisite gasped, "What the hell is this going to turn into some kind of criminal investigation with you now?"

"I just want to hear his explanation from his own mouth." Nephrite replied and nodded that Kunzite was about to open the door, "Until then I'm taking everything he says and does with a grain of salt."

The chains and heavy push-bar latch rattled and clanked as Kunzite swung the front door of the Four Kings Bar and Grill open to the windy, rainy outside world. A woman stepped in wearing a tan trench and coat shaking droplets of water off her umbrella. Her other hand held a leather satchel stuffed with papers and several pens poking out the top. Kunzite took her umbrella and satchel for her and she vigorously shook the rain off her coat not unlike a wet dog coming in from a swim.

"Hello, what's this?" Jadeite asked in a perky tone when he noticed their female guest.

"Kunzite didn't say the health inspector was a woman!" Nephrite said enthusiastically and straightened his posture at the bar.

"Amazing what a little bit of estrogen does to some people's moods." Zoisite remarked with a roll of his eyes, not bothering to remove his chin from its perch in the palm of his hand.

"It would work on you too if you weren't such a brazen cock-wrangler." Nephrite jabbed to which Zoisite inwardly growled and furnished no reply.

Kunzite led their guest towards the bar running his mouth at a startling rate, jabbering about cleanliness, presentation, sanitary practices, and all manner of technical drivel somehow relating to the abrasive properties of steel wool. The woman nodded in reply but seemed largely uninterested in what Kunzite had to say and indeed it seemed she was making a bee-line for the bar. Nephrite had already noticed and tactfully shoved Zoisite and Jadeite away.

"… which is why I eventually decided to swap out the entire stock of orange-based cleaners for lemon-based cleaners; more acidity!" Kunzite ended his tirade as they reached the bar, "So where do you want to start?"

"How about we start with these gentlemen?" the woman spoke in a voice that couldn't be described as husky, but with a distinct masculine edge. She met eyes with Nephrite, eyes that were large and green behind a pair of thick-rimmed DKNY glasses.

"Oh, right!" Kunzite agreed and delivered a subtle glance to the rest of the shitennou to get on their best behavior, "These are the co-owners of this—"

"So you're the other 'four kings' I take it?" the woman cut Kunzite off which completely threw him off balance, "So what makes you guys kings, exactly?"

"Huh?" Nephrite asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Never mind." She stated and adjusted her glasses, "Show me your hands."

"Who, me?" Nephrite asked again and looked around.

"All of you, hands up on the bar." The suddenly demanding woman ordered a second time, "No gloves if you have them, I need to see under your nails."

"Wait, I thought you're the health inspector?" Jadeite asked confused.

"I am."

"So what, you're inspecting us?" he asked, pointing at his own chest, "I thought you inspect the building and stuff, not people."

"Yeah, I think they call those kinds of health inspectors doctors." Zoisite added.

"Guys, don't argue." Kunzite pleaded looking just as confused as everyone else.

"A clean restaurant starts with clean fingernails." She said with an authoritative tone, "It's an old department proverb. Now give me your hands."

The Shitennou traded quizzical glances and sheepishly placed their hand on the bar for inspection. Kunzite offered as genuine a smile as possible given the strange situation. The others coughed and fidgeted in place as they waited for the young woman to do whatever she needed to do. She was staring at them, all of them, in her collective gaze and a knowing smile appeared on her face and she laughed out loud.

"Man, you guys are gullible!" she snickered and pulled a cigarette out of a pack in her coat pocket and ignited it with a silver Zippo lighter in the same motion.

"Uh…" Jadeite mouthed in utter confusion.

"Alright, let's get this shit-show over with." The woman announced and retrieved a clipboard from her leather satchel which Kunzite was still holding.

"Pardon me, miss." Kunzite said with a slight edge of annoyance, "But I'm pretty sure it's state law that smoking is prohibited in all dining establishments."

"True." The woman said slyly and blew a puff of smoke in his face, "But this place isn't a dining establishment until I say it is."

"And just who are you?" Zoisite asked in an assaulting tone like a cat with its fur standing on end.

"Lydia Tanner." She replied evenly, not at all swayed by Zoisite's attempt at intimidation, "My friends call me Lita. You can just call me Lydia. Ms. Tanner would also be fine."

"How about cutthroat bitch?" Jadeite whispered under his breath and over his shoulder to Nephrite who stifled a chuckle.

"You could call me that, I've had worse." Lita replied with a grin, impressively hearing the young Shitennou's practically inaudible comment, "Of course I could also make a note here that I watched you piss in the dishwasher."

"I did no such thing!" Jadeite was quick to defend himself although obviously shaken that his remark was heard.

"I know, I'm threatening you." The vicious health inspector replied and turned to Kunzite, "Remarkably perceptive, this bunch. You must be very proud."

"As a peacock." Kunzite replied dejectedly.

"Well the rest of you all look like you have insane amounts of work to do." Lita continued her verbal barrage against the other three, "I'm sure that section of floor would just leap up and streak for the border if you weren't holding it in place."

"The bitch of it is we get paid for it." Nephrite replied attempting to level the playing field slightly with a jab of his own.

"Well maybe if you're lucky you'll earn some more money with this dive once I make my rounds." She replied and extinguished her half-smoked cigarette on the bar making sure to messily spread the ashes around, "Oh look at that! Cigarette on the bar. Doesn't look good to a health inspector."

She jotted something down on her clipboard which all the Shitennou craned their necks to read, but couldn't. She chuckled to herself and ushered Kunzite toward the doors of the kitchen and started firing off questions about sanitation practices at machine-gun speed. They disappeared behind the swinging doors and the three remaining Shitennou were left alone in nearly stunned silence.

"Well she's a singular delight." Jadeite remarked and resumed leaning on the bar.

"I would do terrible things to her." Nephrite said almost dreamily.

"So would I. What a bitch." Zoisite agreed, "Like a shovel to the head, right?"

"No, I meant I'd do terrible things to her in bed." Nephrite corrected.

"You can't be serious." Zoisite balked, "She'd probably cut you or worse."

"Dude, I'll deal with a little S&M if I got a crack at that." Nephrite replied with a lustful flare in his voice, "And she's tall, too; just my type. My God if I could get her down to nothing but a pair of boots… she could dig her nails into me, fucking bite me. I don't really give a shit."

"Wow dude, getting way too heavy in here." Jadeite remarked somewhat shaken even in light of his own perversions.

"Seriously that's just gross." Zoisite added, "I don't know what you could possibly see in her. She's like the Simon Cowell of health inspectors."

Nephrite and Jadeite turned to face him, confused expressions shared.

"What?"

"Who the fuck is Simon Cowell?" Nephrite asked.

"What, are you serious?" Zoisite asked back.

"No, I'm just exercising my tongue." Nephrite answered with a roll of his eyes.

"I have no idea who you're talking about either." Jadeite agreed.

"He's the cocky British judge on American Idol!" Zoisite told the pair in astonishment, "He's like the most callous asshole ever."

"Uh-huh. And we're supposed to know that?" Jadeite asked.

"Uh yeah! Unless you've been living under a rock for like the last eight years?" Zoisite smarmily replied.

"Zoisite, you're the only one out of the four of us who watches that shit." Nephrite explained, "The show has no bearing on your life or anyone else's. It's processed, schlocky, trendy bullshit just like every other reality TV show."

"Right, whatever!" Zoisite was quick to defend his habit, "Well I got news for you Nephrite: the NFL is just as much a reality show as Idol."

"No, professional football is a sport." Nephrite sassed back, "Sports are competitive events between skilled opponents sanctioned by a governing, regulatory body, not a nationally televised talent show."

"There's no difference in my book." Zoisite argued.

"Your book is twenty pages long and has pop-up pictures, Zoisite." Nephrite insulted, "Don't try to compare your shitty water-cooler-gossip faggot reality shows to a man's game."

"Nephrite these people are going on national TV and giving everything they have to try and realize their dreams." Zoisite tried to explain, "Isn't there anything at all touching about that to you?"

"No. I don't get 'touched' by a bunch of wannabe sell-outs trying to hitch a free ride to a record deal." Nephrite denied, "The Who didn't become the greatest rock band of all time by standing in front of a panel of judges. They said fuck their critics and sang about shit that mattered to their fans."

"Oh here we fucking go!" Zoisiste fumed and shook his hands wildly, "Every pop culture conversation we ever have ends with The Who. They're not the greatest band in the world, Nephrite. No band can claim that."

"Um, I think they can if they wanted to you sheltered ass." Nephrite answered the challenge, "Considering they birthed not only hard rock, but are the root of punk as well. They changed popular music, Zoisite. Pete Townshend invented the fucking power chord for Christ's sake!"

"Oh yeah the power chord was a great addition to the musical arsenal of our generation." Zoisite continued his argument, "So now every idiot with a $50 dollar guitar can learn one chord and think he's a rock star."

"And yet these are the very same 'idiots' who end up on American Idol belting out bullshit hoping some British dick is going to judge him worthy enough to be heard by more people!" Nephrite shouted disgustedly, "Music belongs to everyone, Zoisite, not a television show that tries to tell you what's good and what isn't."

"It's not about whether they're good or not, it's about the people!" Zoisiste shouted back, getting more aggravated by the minute, "Stop trying to steer the conversation to fit what you want to argue about!"

"Fine!" Nephrite agreed and threw his hands up in mock defeat, "I'm done talking about this."

"Oh yeah, real mature!" Zoisite haughtily mouthed, "Just drop the conversation when Zoisite makes a point."

"No, I'm dropping the conversation because our guest from the Health Inspector's office has been standing behind you scowling for the last couple minutes." Nephrite replied with a nod.

Sure enough Lita was standing behind Zoisite with a gaze like daggers ready to pierce the copper-haired King should he care to cross her. Zoisite sucked in a surprised breath and shook his head trying to compose himself after the exchange with Nephrite. Jadeite stood silently off to the side completely content to just watch.

"You all get along so well, this place just seems destined for greatness!" Lita chided and clapped one hand against her clipboard.

"Where's Kunzite?" Nephrite asked offhandedly.

"I casually mentioned the blower in your meat freezer was making a clicking noise every thirty seconds or so." Lita explained and pointed towards the kitchen, "He's in there dismantling it trying to find the problem."

"I'm pretty sure that thing is supposed to click every thirty seconds." Jadeite said knowingly, but didn't know what else to say or do.

"Huh." Lita shrugged, "Well maybe you should go tell him that."

She moved her eyes to meet Nephrite's which Jadeite and Zoisite both noticed. They turned to glance at their companion who was staring straight back at Lita, not even registering the others' presence. Jadeite sighed and motioned for Zoisite to follow him out from behind the bar and into the kitchen where through the opening door they heard horrible metallic grating intermingled with Kunzite's swearing.

As soon as they were out of the room Lita let out a sigh of relief and a sly smile traced across her face.

"Five minutes with Kunzite is enough to last a lifetime, eh?" Nephrite joked.

"Does he always talk that much?" She asked as she lit up a new cigarette.

"Only when he's excited." Nephrite answered, "And he's never been this excited about anything in his life." Nephrite chuckled, "Actually, I don't think he's ever been excited period."

"Known these guys a while, have you?" Lita inquired.

"Forever." Nephrite answered, "And we all live together to top it off."

"I would think you'd need some chemical assistance to get by." The woman joked and nodded at the selection of liquor behind the bar, "You maybe want to throw together a Manhattan for me?"

"The Department of Health allows drinking on the job?" Nephrite asked curiously as his hands moved on their own below the bar gathering glasses, napkins and ice.

"Sure they do!" Lita replied with fake enthusiasm, "I make a note in every report I write that I get hammered while I'm performing inspections."

"Ah." Nephrite replied, "I suppose what they don't know won't hurt them."

"Right you are." Lita said and took a drag on her cigarette, "Just as I thought."

"What's that?"

"You are a bit more worldly-wise than your friends." Lita almost complimented, "Kunzite's obviously a deranged workaholic; the other two seem like children to me. You seem to at least have part of a head on your shoulders under all that hair."

"I'll thank you not to insult my warlord's mane." Nephrite cordially mentioned, "So about this Manhattan?"

"Southern Comfort, kick the bitters, and easy on the sweets." Lita ordered.

"Nope." Nephrite replied and started pulling bottles onto the bar.

"No?" Lita asked somewhat amused.

"Manhattans require bitters." Nephrite explained, "And SoCo is a booze dumbass college kids ruined with lime juice. You want a real Manhattan I'll make you one, but I'll warn you: it's a drinking man's cocktail. Not for the weak-willed."

"Sounds like you know your way around a liquor cabinet." Lita remarked which could be taken as a compliment in Nephrite's mind, "I'll indulge you."

Nephrite smiled and went to work pouring together his mixture of rye whiskey, vermouth, and bitters. He was, rather unsurprisingly, very skillful in mixology. He handled the bottles well and even managed a deft twirl or two for added effect. He stirred his concoction and dropped a maraschino cherry on top and presented it to Lita. She took one sip and her upper lip tried to curl behind her teeth but she managed to fight it off.

"Well." She said and smacked her tongue against the numb inside of her mouth, "That's quite a different creature than what I'm used to."

"Yeah, we don't serve Sex and the City style Manhattans here." Nephrite replied with a smile which only grew wider when Lita went back for seconds of his concoction, "So uh, how'd you get into this business?"

"I don't think so." Lita replied and smirked at him with a look that could only be described as casual terrorism.

"Wait, so you come to me for a drink, chat me up, flirt a little bit and I don't even get to flirt back?" Nephrite asked confused and annoyed.

Lita eyed Nephrite with a decisively icy glare, grasped her drink with furor and downed the contents of the glass in one long chug. She wiped her mouth on her sleeve and stood up from the bar without even the slightest hint of effect from the alcohol.

"Thanks for the drink." Lita said and motioned towards the kitchen, "Tell Kunzite your license should come in the mail in a few days. I'll e-mail a temporary certificate."

With that the tall, chestnut-haired health inspector tied the belt on her trench coat and let herself out into the rainy world beyond the Four Kings Bar and Grill. Nephrite stood at the bar regarding an empty glass and an empty stool trying to wrap his brain around the last few minutes and having exceptional difficulty coming to any sort of conclusion about what had taken place. One thing was certain to him: Lydia Tanner, or Lita as she preferred, definitely warranted further investigation. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jadeite poke his head through the kitchen door, peering around corner like a frightened child.

"You can come out now." Nephrite told him, "The Wicked Witch is dead."

Jadeite straightened up and re-entered the bar area with Zoisite and Kunzite in tow who was covered with grease and Freon. Nephrite chuckled slightly and washed the glass Lita had left behind.

"She barely even looked at the place." Kunzite complained and wiped a large grease stain on his brow which just made it bigger, "I spent all that time bleaching the tile grout in the bathrooms and she didn't even notice."

"I told you not to get so worked up about it." Nephrite told him, "Oh, and the license will be here in the next couple days."

"One big hurdle out of the way there." Jadeite said and clapped his hands together, "Let us pray we don't have to deal with any more health inspectors for a while."

"Speak for yourself." Nephrite said with a smirk and replaced Lita's glass on the shelf with all the others.

"Can we go home now?" Zoisite whined.

Kunzite nodded and reached behind him to the fuse box on the wall that controlled all the lights in the restaurant. After powering everything down and locking the doors the Shitennou piled into Kunzite's Jeep and made the drive home in relative silence. It had been a long day of preparation and a long day of worrying which had taken its toll on all of them. Before long their small duplex home was in sight and they wearily carried themselves to the front door. When Kunzite swung the door open he was met by a foul odor that the others also detected.

"Why does our house smell like shit?" Zoisite asked worriedly.

The four entered to find their kitchen in ruins. The table and chairs were shifted about, the mail that was sitting on the table was shredded and scattered on the floor interspersed with the remnants of a box of PopTarts that was left on the counter. Two fist-sized brown lumps of feces also sat among the debris. They carefully and quietly moved past the kitchen into their living room to an even more gruesome sight.

Their garbage can had been dragged into the living room, its contents emptied and strewn all over the floor. Horrible brown streaks covered their prized couch and a good number of DVD cases had been pulled from their rack and gnawed on. In the middle of the devastation was a large black dog, a Labrador Retriever, happily chewing on one of Zoisite's hair brushes. The dog looked up when he heard the Shitennou approach and jumped to his paws and charged straight towards Zoisite. The younger King shrieked and put his hands up defensively, but the dog tackled him to the ground and started slobbering and licking all over Zoisite's face through his sputtering cries for help.

"What in the holy fuck?" Kunzite screamed which was a rare occurrence for him.

"Get this god damned mutt off me!" Zoisite ordered and the dog, apparently hurt by his insult, growled and snapped at him.

"Yeah, you tell him boy!" Nephrite encouraged the canine.

Kunzite reached down and grabbed the dog by its collar and pulled it off Zoisite. The effeminate King scampered to his feet spitting dog hair and carpet fuzz out of his mouth with a derisive sneer. The dog whimpered slightly and licked at Kunzite's hand. He seemed to be a fairly young dog and on his collar was a badge that read "William Shatner."

"What the fuck, dude?" Nephrite asked when he saw the tag, "Did William Shatner's dog break into our house and trash it?"

"No, I think that's the dog's name." Kunzite replied and asked the dog, "William Shatner?"

The Labrador barked in reply and paced around in a tight circle, sniffing and panting before lifting its leg and urinating on Kunzite's shoes. Shocked, confused, and tired as they were nobody yelled or tried to stop the dog. They simply let him finish his business and watched in befuddled amusement as he trotted back to the middle of the destroyed Man-Lair and continued chewing on Zoisite's brush.

"I don't suppose anyone wants to get my brush back from that thing?" Zoisite asked.

Nephrite simply shook his head negatively and climbed the stairs towards his room. Jadeite and Kunzite followed suit, preferring not to answer. Zoisite huffed and stormed across the living room to where the dog was laying and reached out to grab his brush. William Shatner growled and snapped at Zoisite when his hand came near the brush, but relaxed when he jumped back. With a grimace Zoisite sat down Indian style on the floor across from the dog and stared at him while he chewed on the brush.

"You're not going to give that back to me, are you?" the King asked the canine and received no reply but the sound of chewing and slobbering.

Zoisite sighed and leaned back against the couch and swiftly fell asleep. The other Shitennou would attest that the next morning they found Zoisite curled up in a ball on the floor with William Shatner sleeping practically on top of him and drooling in his hair.