|See your face
Author: Neferit PM
Memory of seeing her face made him feel alive and set him free. How will it end?Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Words: 2,042 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 09-29-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4565885
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Yet again I'm here with a fanfic for Domi's NPC Project for Icewind Dale 2! Well, I just hope that I won't make anyone angry with this, eh. However! Feel free to comment, to criticise or to point the mistakes out. I would appretiate it. ;)
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just this fanfic is all my fault.
From the first moment I saw you I knew that I'll never be the same. Sight of you, standing on the guardrail, holding lanyard, your cloak a sail in the wind behind you, had changed me forever.
I immediately went to the captain of the ship, the Wicked Wench, and asked him for taking me along. He told me that you were heading to the Tentowns. You, your companions and several other mercenaries were sent there to help.
Although the journey was dreadful for me, you often came to see, if I'm all right and spoke to me. I didn't dare to ask you, if I can join your group. You gathered your courage first.
I remember the moment. You asked: "Jaemal, care about joining me and the others?" I watched you for a moment. Almost afraid of your reaction I replied: "And what about you - care about travelling with a eunuch?"
Your first reaction was getting wide-eyed. Then you smiled and shyly said: "I... I wouldn't mind that, Jaemal. So, can I… can I count on you?"
I felt myself smiling back at you. We went to your companions - sir Nord, his squire Hildury, Nikosh and Valeero. Just as we arrived, we were attacked by group of orcs. "Really warm greeting," as you said. I could do nothing else than agree with this sarcastic statement.
After freeing the city and the city defence against the orcish assault we left the town to search for the orcish stronghold. And just in our first night outside of the city we saw aurora borealis, the northern lights. You were there, watching them with me. I remember how it caught me by surprise, the breathtaking colours on the sky. It surprised me so much that I held your shoulder and pressed it, pointing to the sky with my other hand. When you talked to me, I noticed the northern lights reflecting in your eyes. Together with your mystical smile... I asked you, if I can call you 'Northern Light'. You agreed. And that was the moment when you became even more important to me.
More than once I have spoken to you - in my mind. When we were walking for the endless hours through the white plains of Icewind Dale, in my mind I was debating with you about many things. About your family. About aurora borealis. About our company. About our quest. About... love. When I talked to you in reality, I could say I knew the conversation by heart. Your knowing smile told me you guessed this. And your eyes told me more than your lips could. But me... I've never been skilled with words. You sparred me further embarrassment by offering me to walk with you in silence. I gratefully accepted and settled for your company.
But yet - when I found the right words - I've told you what made me to board the ship. You smiled by my explanations - but after then I noticed you were looking for me after battles and checking if I am all right, just as it was on the ship. It warmed my heart, as well as scared me a bit. Was it right for me, an incomplete man, to court a vibrant and noble woman such as you? Woman I had no right to even look upon - or touch? This occupied my mind so much that when we were battling several orcs, I haven't paid enough attention to what's happening around that I've got hit by one of them - and fell to the freezing river. You've immediately jumped there for me. It didn't help, though - I've got fever which ended in a state close to delirium. I remember your hand laying a cold cloth on my forehead and your soft voice. I think I've talked to you about "friend who died for a verse to a woman he could not have looked upon, let alone touched." I asked you, if you think him a fool. You replied with a gentle smile that I have strange friends.
Thinking about it... You never have been one of these strange friends.
You were friend.
You were more than that.
From what happened then in my feverish time I remember only your voice saying "sometimes the feelings are answered... even if the person thinks they aren't."
Since then I was paying more attention to what's happening around me. One fall into freezing water was quite enough for me. And after some time I could hold that inside any longer. Dreams - and lets face it, those were very unchaste dreams - haunted me. I made my mind. I never was a word-master - I told you about it more than once. Yet I was able to say that. "I love you." For the first time of my whole life I've said that - and to the woman, who made me want to illuminate the sky for her. Only I was unable to show you my love. I saw you looking my way sadly more than once. How I longed to be able to touch you without fear. But bad memories, twisting my dreams now, prevented me from that. I cursed my fate, the damned priests - those who made me this. It was too much for me. I told you about this, scared that you will cast me out. But you didn't and that renewed my hope. Hope of loving and being loved. Then the walls, keeping me from touching you, finally crushed down. And I held you in my arms for the first time, kissed you for the first time. Your lips tasted like the finest wine, I could have got drunk just by kissing those lips of yours.
One night I could not fall asleep. I felt strangely restless. Every time I closed my eyes I saw you, smiling on me and gesturing me to come closer. The blankets grew hot so quickly... I had to get up - and my legs carried me straight to your side. So I sat there, stroked your hair and prayed for morning coming soon. All of sudden you opened your eyes, smiled - just like in the vision - and asked in a sleepy voice: "Can't sleep, my love?" I swear my heart skipped a beat when I heard you to pronounce the word "love". I told you about my treacherous legs, which carried me to your side and in a reply you threw away your blankets to let me inside. I slid beside you and held you close. Your body was warm... so warm... I gently caressed your cheek and kissed you. "Who could sleep on a night like this, holding a woman like you in his arms?"
"Most surely not you," replied you with impish smile. But then we both got more serious.
I looked deeply into your eyes, into those eyes which were like bottomless lakes where stars come to see their reflection. Something inside of me kept on telling me 'come on, boy - you know you want to ask it from her!' I whispered: "I want to hold you, Northern Light, hold and caress you and leave you as sleepless as I am." I'm quite positive that you blushed and dropped your eyes. Seeing that I continued: "I was thinking. I can climb only so high the staircase of Sune's temple, but you... you can walk her sumptuous halls without restriction." You sharply looked up and opened your mouth to speak. But I didn't let you speak: "I'm only crippled where deriving pleasure for me is concerned. But no such restriction exists in giving it to you." I watched how you slowly smiled. I liked that smile - there was something mischievous and... loving about that smile. "I'll take you as far as you can walk, my love," was all you said. Nothing more didn't need to be said. I held you close, letting my hands to touch you and my lips to kiss you until you were burning in my arms, feeling the growing ecstasy inside of you hit its peak. It felt as if you were a musical instrument and I was bard playing it until the melody hit its crescendo and ended in with the tender whispers of all the plucked strings.
And then happened something what surprised us both. When I held you, I've got... aroused. In a very physical meaning of the word. You felt something changed and asked me about it. I swear nothing could ever be better than our first love making. I would never have thought I will be able to love you as a man - but I most certainly wasn't complaining about the sudden change. You became even more to me - you were the reason I was breathing, reason for my heart beating... you were star, you were land, you were sky, you were... you were the whole world to me. With you, I was finally slave no more. Our love set me free.
I still felt incomplete. I was free. But what about thousand and thousand of slaves back there in Mulholand? They deserved to be set free as well. We spoke about that. I wanted to keep you back so it would be only me who would be put in danger - but you refused to stay behind. That was something I wanted to hear - and was afraid to hear at the same time. That was when I made a promise - my blood will spill before yours.
Soon after that I asked you if you will marry me. Well, I guess that I chose a bit... unconventional method - I took you for a little fly above the Severed Hand. You were clinging to me... I have to say that I enjoyed your closeness greatly. "Hold me, Jaemal. Hold me very tight!"
That confused me a bit, since you said that with your eyes shut and you looked quite pale. I tried to comfort you: "I'm holding you." And then, you opened your eyes, looked into mine and said: "Well, I am sure you'll hold your wife even tighter..." I stared on you, surprised by your words. You smiled widely. "Yes! Of course it's 'yes', my love!" I swept you off your feet and spun us around a few times. You made me a very, very happy man that day.
And then we defeated Isair and Madae and returned to Luskan. You introduced me to your parents. Well, saying that I was quite nervous is not completely… accurate. But soon the voice of my fear of losing you was silenced – they accepted me and we could get married.
We travelled through the Icewind Dale for very long time and then decided it was time for our mission of freeing the slaves of Mulholand. We made several campaigns there and set many slaves free. But then…. They chased us to the portal itself. To give you more time I almost threw you through the portal and turned back to face the soldiers, cast every spell I had in my memory and… let them to capture me.
You came back for me – alas, it's already too late for me. Your fury, spells and blade drove the soldiers away – they either died or they fled before you. But their kicking, daggers and spears made their work and now I'm dying.
Your face is covered with dust, ash and blood – and your tears are tracing down your cheeks when you realize what is happening. I can feel your arms around me as darkness creeps to my sight. Your face and your eyes are all I can see to the very end of my life.
I started living when I saw your face and died the same.