|Dumbledore, socks, and lemon drops
Author: ThisbeHecate PM
What does Dumbledore, socks, and lemon drops have to do with Harry's lack of potions homework? Second in the Potions homework seriesRated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Harry P. & Severus S. - Words: 1,325 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 11 - Published: 09-30-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4567862
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Don't own it, don't have money, don't sue!
"No homework, AGAIN? What could your excuse possibly be this time, Potter?" Professor Snape asked, not all together positive he wanted to hear the answer as to why his student neglected his potions homework for the second class in a row. Perhaps he should just send him to the headmaster… as soon as Harry spoke up, that idea went right out the window.. or it would if his classroom HAD windows, of course.
"DUMBLEDORE!" Harry stated and moodily crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the desktop as though it were the headmaster.
Taken aback, Snape replied, "Dumbledore? What does the headmaster have to do with you not doing your potions homework?"
Refusing to look up from the afore mentioned desk, he mumbled his reply. Catching only words such as 'Dumbledore', 'socks', and 'lemon drops'. Harry had to be asked to speak up by his professor.
Taking a deep breath, Harry finally tore his gaze from the table top, and instead, proceeded to glare at the blackboard.
"Dumbledore had a problem with my socks." He growled.
"What problem did the headmaster have with your socks, Potter?" his professor snapped at him. After a moment, a slightly confused look came over his face, and he asked, "and HOW did the headmaster even SEE your socks?" Snape was already wishing he hadn't asked.
"I don't know HOW he saw them, and he had a problem because they matched. Geeze, maybe he's been hanging around with Dobby too much. They're both nutters." Harry froze, realizing he just insulted the headmaster in front of his least favorite teacher, and cringed, waiting to be admonished for his slip. However, Snape seemed not to notice, or not to care, although, now, he looked extremely confused.
Snape glanced around the room as though waiting for someone else to ask the question that everyone had on their mind, then realizing that, in this class, no one would speak out of turn.
He'd have to ask the question.
"Aren't… aren't they supposed to match?" Snape asked slowly.
At that, Harry finally sat up straight and turned his gaze on his professor.
"EXACTLY!" he exclaimed. "That's what I tried to tell him! But, oh no, no one can disagree with the all knowing Dumbledore! Apparently, Dumbledore and Dobby get together every weekend, and they both gorge on lemon drops, or something like that. All I know is that Dumbledore said that Dobby and Mr. Fruiti explained to him that socks should never, EVER match." Harry finished the last of this with a vacant expression on his face, then continued, "how did he find that out from Mr. Fruiti though…"
Snape, resigned with the fact that he must ask all the extremely idiotic questions himself, "Who is Mr. Fruiti?"
Harry gave Snape an odd look, and asked, "You mean you don't know? He hasn't introduced you to Mr. Fruiti?"
At this, Harry began to giggle, Snape merely raised an eyebrow at him, his way of instructing the student to continue, and in-between spurts of giggles, Harry went on.
"It's the name his gives to his lemon drops when he talks to them, and they supposedly talk back."
Suddenly from behind Harry came a steady thumping sound. Turning around Harry stared as Hermione repeatedly banged her head on the desk for a few moments. When she stopped and looked up, and noticed the class staring, including Snape, she blushed, then hid her beet red face in her arms. The class all turned back to Harry.
"See?" as though implying Dumbledore had something to do with Hermione's odd behavior, Harry continued. "The man is insane!"
Refusing to speak ill of his employer, Snape remained silent, although his students saw his shoulders shake with his attempt at silencing his laughter.
Once under control, Snape continued.
"So, what does any of this have to do with your homework, Mr. Potter?"
"He stole all my socks! Well, him and Dobby. Every single one. He even somehow took the ones I had been wearing at the time!" he said all this with a pleading tone in his voice, as though begging his professor and fellow students to understand. He continued.
"Then, even though it's MAY, it started snowing! Yes, snowing! I went ice skating. That was enjoyable. Ginny didn't want to go, Luna enjoyed it however. Ginny's Ron's sister, you know." he finished and beamed at his professor.
Snape just stared, open mouthed at Harry. He looked like his brain may have stopped working.
After a moment, Snape blinked once, slowly, then twice. Finally snapping out of his stupor, Snape yelled, "What the HECK does that have to do with ANYTHING?!"
"Quite a lot actually, but nothing with this, funnily enough." was his short reply.
Seriously worried that his professor was going to throttle him, Harry hastily continued.
"Well, you see, she doesn't have anything to do with this YET. But eventually, she'll have something to do with everything that happens to me, or around me. You see," he dropped his voice to a mock-stage whisper and said, "Ron doesn't know it yet, and actually, I don't either yet for that matter, but anyway, Ron doesn't know it yet, and you know, Ginny doesn't know yet either.. hmm, looks like no one really knows yet.. you know?" he asked his professor.
Snape had almost reached the end of his patience, and Harry could tell because there was a muscle right under the professors right eye that kept twitching.
"Get. To. The. Point." his professor ground out each word through a clenched jaw.
"Oh, right! Sorry. So, apparently no one yet knows, not even you, Sir! No one yet knows that… I'm gonna marry her!" at the end of his sentence, Harry actually let out a loud, girly shriek of excitement.
Snape simply stood in front of Harry, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, then let it out, apparently trying to calm himself.
"What does any of this have to do with your homework?" he snapped out.
"Well, if you'd stop interrupting me, I'd be able to tell you," Harry cheekily replied. Seeing his professor was about to lose it completely, he went on. "Well, after I went ice skating, I came back to the common room, and tried to borrow a pair of socks, but no one would let me. They kept saying that since I lost all of mine, I'd lose theirs too, so I have NO socks on!"
"It never occurred to you that you can do homework without socks, Potter?"
Putting a look of horror on his face, Harry said, "But… Professor, that... that goes against.. everything!"
That was the final straw, Snape snapped.
"OUT!" he yelled, "Get out of my class! Go to the headmasters office and deal with him! OUT!"
Quickly gathering all of his belongings, Harry stuffed everything into his bag, and flew from the room. Just as Professor Snape was regaining control of himself, the door opened again, and in walked Harry, a sheepish look on his face.
"What are you doing back here? I threw you out!"
"Uhh.. yea, about that, Sir, I'm sorry!" he said all this quickly, trying to finish what he had to say before his professor became violent. "But, I just remembered, as I was going upstairs... haha.. I er, remembered, I DID do my homework." With that, he whipped the papers out of his bag, and shoved them into Snape's hand, just as the bell ending class sounded.
Another class with no work, and no punishment, he handed in his homework for the day, and the homework he forgot the other day. To top it all, Snape's eye was still twitching.