Author: Queenbeth2 PM
Snippets from the life of the Cullen family. Absolutely no plot and completely random.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Edward - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,154 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 06-16-09 - Published: 09-30-08 - id: 4569203
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
DC: I don't own it
Okay I'm not promising anything will come from this. This is just random stuff that I'm writing. Kinda like little drabbles. I drabble a lot. And I have a very VERY weird sense of humor.
I also have this really weird love for torturing the Cullen family via family moments. Anyone who has read any of my other stories knows this! Such as the family gets a Wii for christmas and Carlisle sucks horribly at Trauma Center or Edward, at the peak of his sexual frustration runs off yelling "stop tormenting me with your leaf covered nipples!" For those who don't know what in the world I'm talking about...read them!
Now! On to whatever this is...!
He stared at the object of his infuriation. Sitting there all quite and still, taunting him.
Yes. It was certainly taunting him. Of that Edward Cullen was sure. He leaned heavily on the table and sighed heavily. Eyeing his target as if it was a criminal.
"You're only doing this to annoy me," he accused in a low growl. "You're doing this because you can and you know what is at stake for me."
No response. He didn't expect one.
"Edward?! Where did you go?" Bella called from the other room.
"I'll be right in my beautiful flower," Edward called. He glared back at his target. He folded his arms and walked to the other side of the table, much like a cop. "Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way."
No sound. A breeze ruffled through the curtains and tickled his hair. A snarl bubbled up his throat and out through his teeth. He dove.
Bella looked over when she heard something crash. She knew better than to worry about Edward. She also knew that he would want her to stay away. Her pasta bubbled at her and she bit her lip.
"Are you okay?!" she called.
"Fine!" He called back. She heard a his growl and raised her eyebrows as she stirred her pasta.
"Come on you stubborn cow!" Edward snarled as he rolled on the floor. "You will not defeat me!"
His hands slipped on the cold metal. His throat went dry at the idea of Bella walking in and seeing him like this. He, a vampire. Rolling on the floor in such a horrific battle. His hands slipped again and he rolled onto his knees, clamping his knees around the hard round surface. He gritted his teeth and struggled. The fight would be won! He would be sure of it! No force in the world would keep him from giving Bella what she desired. He would if it killed him!
"Geez was it too much to ask that he open the jar of sauce for me?" Bella muttered to herself as she poured the pasta into a strainer. She looked over as she heard soft steps. "Oh, Edward, there..."
He pushed the jar into her hands. It was half empty. The other half was dripping from his bangs, shirt and pants.
"Don't tell Emmett," he whined as Bella started to laugh.
Yay! If you do feel like commenting, please no comments about what vampires are supposed to be like. Parodies follow no rules!! lol. But seriously that kinda kills my fun when people are like but vampires are super strong, there is no way that Edward would struggle opening a jar. This I know. I just thought it was a freaking funny idea...at almost one in the morning.