Kankuro Discovers FanFiction’s

AN: I’d like to thank EVERYONE who reviewed! You guys rock! You all get a cookie! Just walk into your kitchen and grab one. I NEVER thought I’d get 5reviews the same day I wrote this story. You guys didn’t give me much time to think about this-for I’m writing this as I go.

Disclaimer: I own Naruto! HA! What are you gonna do about it? HUH?! Notta!-Er, alright, I don’t own Naruto, but a girl can dream cant she?

Chapter 2: A.U. Love

I’ve been looking through these damn stories since I got back from kicking Nara’s cheating ass! And you know what I’ve noticed, I hardly have any stories where I’m the main character. And if I am in the story, I’m some freaken pervert.

There was one I was reading, and it was about-once again-my brother dying. First off, what the hell is wrong with you people killing off my brother? It wasn’t bad enough that Gaara actually died once-thankfully brought back by Granny Chiyo-but you psycho’s want him to stay dead? That’s just…disgusting! Anyways, back to what I was talking about, in the story I was doing nothing by flirting with anything and all girls. I wouldn’t do that, I’d grieve for my brother, he’s fucking family!

Anyways, here I am now, looking through these damn stories again. One would think I learned from the last horrifying stories I read. But damn it, I wanna see what else you guys write. So as I’m scanning through the stories, I find one that says ‘Yoai’. Should I know what that is? Well, whatever it is, its got me and Kiba in it…

Before I even thought about clicking on the story. I reach through the summary to make sure the words; Lemon, Sandcest, and Mpreg were not there. Thank Kami none of those words were listed. I was in the clear so far. So I clicked on the link and began reading the story.

A little annoyed with the person I’m stuck with in the story, I scanned through some of the words.-Don’t get me wrong, dog breath and I are friends, but that doesn’t mean I wanna be stuck with him on a damn mission.- My eyes stopped on what I thought to be a fight scene;

Kankuro allowed the corner of his mouth to curve up as he looked at the brown haired male standing in front of him. The puppeteer stood, and walked towards the dog lover. Without saying a word to the Inuzuka, he shoved him against the tree behind him, their bodies together, and he began-

What the hell?! I quickly exited that story. Don’t you people leave warnings? I could of died reading that! Me and….and him?! Now I know something’s defiantly wrong with these stories.

Shaking my head, I scrolled through more stories, until I came upon a story with the initials, ’A.U.’ in it. Well that could mean many things. But knowing you sicko’s its probably something extremely disturbing, that could send me in a coma for the rest of my life. So what do I do? I click on the story to read it, only to see that I have no fucking idea what’s going on it this story.

When the hell’d Kohona get a ‘High School’? Is that like where they teach the ANBU? And why would Temari and Gaara be going to it? And what the hell aren’t I in it? Am I not as fun to write as my other siblings? Actually I’ve got a few questions about this story. Why’s Gaara wearing glasses and acting…how should I put this…acting like a nerd? First off, Gaara doesn’t wear glasses, and-from the many other stories I’ve read-those black rings around his eyes are not eyeliner. They are due to over 10 years of no sleep! So stop fucking saying its eyeliner. Another question I’ve got, how come the Akatsuki-a group of rouge Ninja’s-are at this ‘High School’? I know that, that pink haired girl and Granny Chiyo killed Sasori, and that Uchiha kid killed his brother…so how’s it they can be in the story and not me? I’m still fucking kicking! What? A dead guy more interesting then I am? I’d hope not. If they are then you’ve got some serious problems, and you need help. Wanting to play with the dead…fucking freaks.

Well after finally getting through a Lemon/Sandcest/Mpreg/Yoai-free story, I still have no clue what an ‘A.U.” story is. So I searched for more, but kinda got side-tracked when I say a story that has to do with Temari and Shikamaru. Heh! Hello dirt! Now I can finally find something to use against the two when I feel like it. First, lets see what the summary says;

‘Temari’s got a secret that she’s been keeping from Shikamaru. She wants to tell him, but at the same time she doesn’t want to ruin his life. Will she tell him? And if she does, will she lose him forever?’

Sweet! I hit the jackpot with this one. Its Temari’s secret! And she hasn’t told Nara yet-Wait! Could this really be it? Be the one thing I’ve been looking for this whole time! Did Temari write this? Man I think I’ve just died and went to heaven-Or wherever it is you go when you die-. Unless…this is a trick and Temari knew that I’d look through her stuff, meaning this might not be real.-Or! She knew I would think that, and that I wouldn’t want to read it, so then she really did write it and it be the truth! So this has to be real! Temari has created a fake name and posted this story up! So its like her secret diary, but in the open.

Nice try Temari, but I’m not that dumb! I’m gonna read your diary! And use this against you for as long as we both live. You underestimated me sister, and that is were you went wrong! With a big smile on my face, I clicked on the “story” and began reading it;

The wind mistress sat on the hill top, looking up at the starry night thinking to herself, ‘how the hell’d this happen?’ sighing she laid back on the cool grass. One hand behind her head, while the other rest over her stomach, “how could we of been so stupid? We’re fucking Shinobi! We’re suppose to be smarter than this.” She then let out a small yelp, sat up, and wrapped both hands around her-slightly-swollen stomach, “I’m sorry, mommy shouldn’t cuss around you”-

And what was when my smile faded. Oh Kami please tell me this is some prank. I sat there for a second thinking. She has been more bitchy lately and tired, and kinda sick. The flu my ass!

Once again, I stood and raced out of the house to speak with Temari. I had questions, and she was the only person with the answers! Also, I’m gonna have to point out that she’s gonna need to find a new place to hide her secrets. Anyone could access these and use them against her-just as I’m gonna do!

-30 minutes later-

I limped back in the house. A fat lip, 2 black eyes, swollen cheek, several bumps on my head, bloody nose, practically broken arms and legs, and most likely a few broken ribs.

Note to Self: The stuff on FanFic is NOT-I repeat, NOT real! Temari is defiantly not pregnant!

-End of Chapter. Another short one, but deal with it. These chapters-if I write more-wont be that long. Hope you guys liked this one. It was very much fun to write! Oh! And guess what, its my birthday! Yea! -throws confetti-! Okay, enough of that. I wont be updating this story tomorrow. I’m gonna try to write my “Sand Parents” story. I haven’t updated that story in forever. And a lot of people liked that story! Also I’ll be babysitting my baby cousin, so I can use him to help with my story. Alright, that’s all for now. Please review. At least 5 more reviews and I’ll start another chapter. Though I might have to start making them of him just ranting…cause I’m running out of funny fanfics things. Whelp, bye till then-