My Bombshell

Continuity Notes: This is my take on what should be the last episode of Scrubs. Now in order to get you caught up to my continuity here is some facts: (these are based around rumors about the new season).
1. Janitor and Lady get hitched.
2. Carla and Turk are having another baby. Carla has decided that since they’ve managed to save up some money since Izzy was born (thanks to raises care of the new Chief of Medicine) that Carla would be able to take a year or two off this time around.
3. Elliot and JD tried and failed again.
4. JD has slowly started to change from the John Dorian we’ve come to know. He’s been especially hostile towards his new interns and has a particular hatred towards one named “Maria”. His behavior is unnoticed by his friends as he normally acts like his old self around them.
5. Sacred Heart has a new Chief of Medicine named Dr. Angela Powell. She comes off nice enough though Dr. Cox is out to prove that it’s all an act.

After years if working in a place like Sacred Heart you become immune to some of the things that go on around you, like for instance the Janitor giving you the evil eye when you arrive every morning.

JD walks in through the sliding glass doors with a smile on his face. He looks over at the Janitor who is dusting a few chairs with an equally big smile on his face. The Janitor then turns his head to spot JD. In the blink of an eye his smile turns to a frown, his eyes squint as evil music starts playing in the background.

JD walks by not breaking eye contact.

“Keep your eyes on his. Don’t look away or he’ll think you’re a wuss.”

“Dorian.” Janitor says, his mouth set in a tight line.

“Janitor.” JD replies, his face a blank mask.

JD manages to make it out of the admissions area and to the elevator

Or The Todd’s daily ritual of offending every woman he comes across.

Todd is walking down the hallway with a huge smile on his face pointing at every woman he comes across.

“Boobies lookin’ great today Mindy. Perky as every Nina. I can tell that YOU’RE breastfeeding Dr. Allistair.”

He stops in front of the Nurse’s Station where Carla is packing up a few things into a gym bag.

“Carla, I’m gonna miss your boobies. Going away five!” he said, holding up his hand and grinning.

Carla glares at Todd for a second before sighing in defeat.

“I’m only doing this because this is my last day and you’re Turk’s friend.” Carla replies.

She draws her hand back, leaning her whole body backwards and slaps his hand as hard as she can.

Todd takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as he starts to tear up a little bit. He slowly lowers his hand and shakes it like it’s on fire.

“Awesome five Carla.” He says admiringly, then walks away cradling his hand.

But then there are things that you know you may never get used to, like a close friend actually leaving her job to be a stay-at-home-mom.

Turk comes up behind Carla and wraps his arms around her, kissing her on the top of her head.

“Gettin’ packed already baby?” he asks.

“I need to do it now while it’s quiet. If I try to do it later all Hell will probably break loose.” Carla says, a small smile forming on her face.

I don’t think I’ll get used to being here every day without hearing Carla’s motherly nature and the way she’d call me Bambi. I always found it comforting and now it won’t be there anymore.

Dr. Cox and a dark haired woman come walking down the hallways, clearly in the middle of a very heated argument. Dr. Cox is gesturing wildly, his face red; whereas the woman has her teeth bared and her fists clenched.

Another thing you always have trouble getting used to is a new boss. Dr. Cox hasn’t taken to the new Chief of Medicine at all. In fact I think he might hate Dr. Powell more than he did Dr. Kelso. He’s been fighting her on things that are unnecessary and I’m not even sure if they relate to the hospital in any way.

“You can’t do this!” Dr. Cox screeched.

“Why do you even care Perry?” Dr. Powell replied.

“You’re going to spend a significant chunk of the hospital budget on PLANTS!” he said dazedly.

Dr. Powell stops and yawns.

“Oh yes 2.3 percent is a significant chunk. The hospital doesn’t have room in the budget for a decent paint job at the moment. So I thought that getting some new landscaping and some fake plants for inside the hospital might make this place look less like a complete dump,” she explains, raising her eyebrow at him.

Dr. Cox crosses his arms and stands in Dr. Powell’s way so she can’t leave.

“I’m going to use an analogy I heard one of my more southern patients use a few days ago. You dress up a pig and put lipstick on it, it is still a pig,” Dr. Cox states.

“Cute analogy there. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go meet with a Pharmaceutical Rep.”

She brushes right past him and Dr. Cox snarls before storming to the opposite end of the hallway.

JD gets into the elevator where a young man with blond hair and wearing light blue scrubs is standing in the corner.

“What floor?” JD asks, smiling at him warmly.

The young man is obviously scared to speak but manages to get out,

“F- f- four sir. I’m- going- to- to- the I-I-”

A big thing I never got used to was the idiotic interns. This year’s batch had been the worst by far. They’ve only just asked their patient their name and they’re already paging me. Most of them were about as confident as Ted and about as competent as Doug was. They were scared to even talk to ME, who would be scared to talk to me?

The intern is still stuttering as JD rolls his eyes.

“I-I-I- think you need to finish that sentence before we make it to the fourth floor or I’m gonna have to duct tape your mouth shut and the only way you’ll be able to communicate is by miming.” The intern freezes, stricken, and JD leans in close to him.

“Do you stutter when you write too?” he whispers.

The elevator doors open and JD slides out leaving the intern breathing heavily with his eyes snapped shut.

The intern chokes back a sob and wrings the bottom of his scrubs shirt.“Going to ICU. Going to ICU.”

JD walks through the ICU doors where a group of interns are waiting for rounds to begin.

“I’ll be back to start rounds in a few minutes. I trust no one will kill anybody?” JD jokes.

The interns just stare with wide eyes.

“Hello? Can I get a response?” he asks.

The interns stand straight up and in unison yell, “YES DR. DORIAN SIR!” They salute and everything.

“Thank you.” JD walks away with a growl shaking his head. “Idiots.”

((I can’t do this all on my own… I know, I’m no superman))

JD is busy checking on a patients chart, his eyebrows are drawn down and his mouth is twisted into a sneer.

“And once again Maria manages to screw up the correct dosage on Mr. Spencer” He thinks, irritated.

He takes a pen out and makes a few changes to the chart.

“Well, Mr. Spencer we’ll have you out of here in no time.”

He puts on a false smile before turning around and letting it drop as he stalks out the door.

“As long as the interns don’t kill you first.”

JD stops by the Nurse’s Station where Carla, Shirley and several of the other nurses are hugging Carla, all of them in floods of tears.

I haven’t brought up how much I’m going to miss Carla to her at the hospital yet. I know I’ll see her when I hang out at Turk’s but not seeing her everyday at the hospital… it kinda hurts.

JD puts his hands on the counter and leans forward as he watches the scene unfold before him.

“I guess it’s time to join in on the girly love fest.”

And then something strange happened. I knew I should’ve joined in with the hugs and the few tears and told Carla I’d miss seeing her everyday… But that’s not what happened.

“Pfft. Spare me from this fluffy love-fest.” JD says bitterly, leaning back.

The nurses stop and look at him. Even he seems shocked at what he just did.

“What the hell was that?” He thought, looking up at the nurses. Shirley is scowling at him.

“Excuse me?” Carla says, pulling away from the group of nurse’s and putting her hand on her hip.

JD is speechless and starts backing up.

“Spare me the agony of this goodbye Carla.” He mutters, shielding himself with his arms.

“I hope she bought that.” JD thinks hopefully.

“Bambi…” Carla says guiltily.

JD puts his arms down to see Carla with arms outstretched.

“Yes! She bought it!” He thought happily, as he throws his arms around her in a hug.

“We’re gonna have a little talk later.” Carla says seriously.

“…Or not.” JD thinks, breaking away from the hug and walking away slowly.

JD continues walking down the hall, and trips over Ted who is searching for something on the ground.

“Ted? What the hell?” JD asks.

“I lost the Policazc file that Dr. Powell wanted. If she finds out I lost it she’ll have my head.” Ted says, looking in the Janitor’s supply cart.

JD picks himself up off the floor.

“I had a feeling today was going to be a crappy day.”

He dusts himself off and mumbles, “I can’t believe she hasn’t fired you yet.”

Ted sighs obviously hearing was JD has just said. He turns around and looks underneath a nearby wheelchair finding a five-dollar bill. He snatches it and sits up on his knees.

“Five bucks?” His face lights up with a huge smile as he lifts his hands up in the air. “Five bucks!!!”

The Janitor comes up behind him and snatches it out of his hand.

“Hey thanks Ted! I forgot my wallet! Now I can have lunch!” Janitor says, smiling at Ted and wheeling his cart down the hall.

Ted lowers his arms and hangs his head. “Aaawwww…”

Elliot is standing in a room with a patient.

“All of your tests came back negative Mr. Simmon’s. The infection has cleared up faster than we expected and it looks like you’ll be going home a couple of days early.” She says, and turns to leave the room.

“Oh and the nurse’s wanted me to tell you they don’t appreciate the ass slapping, sir.” She says, and walks out of the room to see JD is waiting against the wall.

“Hey JD.” She says, smiling warmly.

It didn’t take as long as the last time we broke up but it still took a while for Elliot and I to get back to “normal”. I think this time around we had finally realized that we’re never going to make a good couple.

“You look stressed.” She stated, giving JD a once-over.

“So do you. Lately it looks like your eyes are about ready to bust out of your skull. It’s kind of creepy.” JD says, his mouth turning up at the corners into a near-smile.

“The interns are bent on destroying every part of me.” JD says gravely.

They both start walking down the hall and JD grabs his hair and tugs on it.

“It’s driving me insane! They constantly have to page me!” He closes his eyes and keeps walking.

“What did I do to deserve this?” With that JD walks into a palm tree and falls to the ground with it falling on top of him.

JD looks up at the ceiling and Dr. Cox comes into his view standing over.

“Well, Ciara I would say that it’s a lovely little thing some people like to call “Karma”. We’ve been over this before now I don’t like to repeat myself-“

“Bull. You just love to hear your own voice.” JD slaps his hand over his mouth.

“Why can’t I stop? Are my brain and my mouth not talking to each other?” He closes his eyes and waits.

“Wait a minute? Why haven’t I gone into a daydream involving my brain and mouth fighting? And why hasn’t Dr. Cox killed me yet?” JD opens his eyes and doesn’t see Dr. Cox anymore.

“I’m alive.” He says stupidly.

Elliot leans over him and helps him up.

“He went off in a mood. Don’t worry, he’s not gonna punch you today because it’s orientation.” She explains.

“How did I forget about that?” JD asks nobody in particular.

“I forgot about it too because I’ve been so busy.”

They start walking again and Elliot starts looking over her charts.

“Dr. Nicholas just quit at my office so I’ve had to spend part of my mornings at the office and the rest of my day here. And I’m going to have to keep doing it until Dr. Turner finds a suitable replacement that’s pretty much going to be my day and with the fighting traffic and the trying to keep my files straight-“

Elliot had been talking faster and faster, her words merging together, her face red and her hands gesticulating wildly.

“Elliot, calm down!” JD grabs her by the arms and shakes her a few times. She immediately calms down and blows her bangs out of her face.

“It’s been a while since you totally freaked out like that.” JD mused.

They continue to walk, turning round a corner where a large group of people were gathered. Elliot stops and studies them.

“These must be my interns. I remember what it was like my first day here.” JD says, sighing nostalgically.

“It was hell on earth?” Elliot says, and JD can hear more than see her smile.

“Oh hell yes. Between being thrown up on, Dr. Cox shouting at me the times he wasn’t completely ignoring me, and me being so scared I hid in a supply closet I’m lucky I lasted a week here.” JD says, tutting at himself.

They continue to watch the crowd of interns as Dr. Powell and Ted walk up to the group and speak with them briefly before leading them off.

“I wonder if Dr. Powell is going to sugar coat it as well as Kelso did.” Elliot pondered.

“The whole “think of me as your safety net” speech?” JD shakes his head as he walks down the hallway back towards the ICU.

“I think Dr. Powell will tell it like it is.” JD scoffed.

Dr. Powell is standing in front of a group of interns in a small room. She has a pleasant smile on her face as she speaks.

“I know things can seem a little overwhelming while you all are here but I assure you in the hospital we’re a family and we support each other. And I’d like you to think of me as your safety net.” She says, smiling warmly at the interns.

She then turns to Ted and leans in to speak to him, “If you don’t find that Policazc file by midnight, I will eat your soul.” She whispers in a threatening voice, still smiling sweetly.

Ted shudders and starts sweating even more.

“Now then, take a quick look around the hospital to get familiar with your surrounding and I’ll see each of you here next week.” Dr. Powell finishes, giving them all one last dazzling smile.

Ted stays behind as everyone files out of the meeting room.

“Oooohhhh man. She can’t eat my soul, I just got it back from Kelso.” He says worriedly.

The Janitor pops up from behind the chalkboard.

“Hey Ted!” He says enthusiastically.

“Oh my God! Don’t do that!” Ted cries, placing a hand on his heart, trying to slow it.

“Why?” Janitor says, reaching into his back pocket.

“I gotta test out the new trap door system I built. If this place is ever over run by evil lizard people we will need a reliable means of escape, and I’ve made that possible.” He explains proudly.

He hands Ted a dollar bill and some change.

“Thanks for buying me lunch.” He says.

Ted looks at the money in his hand.

“What am I going to do with a dollar?” he asks.

As if to answer his question a radio sitting on the desk starts playing music as a DJ announces something over the music.

“And don’t forget tonight’s jackpot it 105 million dollars! It’s a dollar per play and you could win!” she says, the jingly music in the background gritty and annoying, whereas the announcement which was interesting and exciting.

“I’m going to play the lottery!” Ted announces happily.

“That’s a dumb idea!” Ted’s head snaps to the floor where the Janitor is kneeling in front of a trap door.

“The lottery is a waste of money. Didn’t you learn this the last time we all tried to play? Don’t get your hopes and dreams up! I’ll never give my dream up of having a mansion with wall-to-wall squirrel carpeting. NEVER!” He jumps down into the trap door pulling the lid down behind him.

Ted ponders what the Janitor has just said. “The lottery is for winners Ted!” He mumbles to himself.

Meanwhile Elliot and JD are walking past the Nurse’s Station when Carla screams, “JD!!!”

He stops in his tracks and turns around to see Carla with flames behind her as she glares at him with glowing red eyes.

“Uh oh…” JD says. “Busted”

“We need to talk… NOW!” She grabs JD by his arm pulling him away from Elliot.

“Elliot! Help!” JD screeches.

Elliot just stands there and waves at them.

“Have fun!” she says, smiling wickedly.

Carla pulls JD past Dr. Powell’s office as Dr. Cox stands in the doorway with a fake cactus.

“You know, your little safety net speech is reminiscent of the OLD chief of medicine and I have to ask you, are you the reincarnation of Bob Kelso? I sense the same evil aura around you that’s made up of the souls of the damned, Ben gay and a thirty year old bottle of Old Spice.” Dr. Cox says, albeit a little bitterly.

“I’m just trying to raise the spirits of the new interns. A hospital can be a scary place Dr. Cox. Now I have no idea why you insist on hating me when I’ve done nothing wrong.” Dr. Powell says innocently.

“Oh no. This-“ Dr. Cox shoves the plastic cactus in her face. “-This is wrong! I looked up this company online earlier and you know what? They’ve been sued because their products have tested time and time again for high levels of lead.”

He tosses the cactus to the side.

“I think I’m getting lead poisoning right now. You can smell-“

“Perry, we don’t have to be enemies okay? I know you’re used to fighting the ones in power but I’m not Bob Kelso. I’m getting quite sick of this, now if you’ll excuse me, I have a mountain of paperwork to go through.” Dr. Powell cries, slamming the door in his face. Dr. Cox growls and storms off past the On Call room where Carla has just locked herself and JD inside.

“Bambi, what is wrong with you?” Carla asks, getting straight to the point.

JD sits on the bed and shrugs.

“I don’t get it.” He mumbles, looking at the floor.

One thing I’ve learned about Carla is that when she asks you a question when she’s angry, it doesn’t necessarily mean she wants a response.

“You know your little snippy remark this morning while all of the nurses were saying goodbye to me? It apparently opened up some interesting conversation.” Carla said icily.

“What do you mean?” JD asks.

“I never saw it, I never even heard about it until today and frankly JD, it upsets me.” She says reproachfully.

JD stands up and raises his hands.

“What did I do?” he asks again.

“You’ve been treating the interns like your own person punching bags. You have been nitpicking at little thing they do and say. You have them so scared that sometimes they’re afraid to breath!” she snaps.

“Carla I have no idea what you’re talking about.” JD says stubbornly.

“I know you don’t because you don’t realize what it is that you’ve been doing. But I’ve been thinking about the way you’ve been acting the past few months. Half the time you act like you don’t want to be here and you make it known that you don’t want to be here. Turk’s noticed you’ve been spending less and less time with your patients and with him. If he didn’t know any better he’d swear you were breaking up with him.” She rants.

“Is this a lecture or open mic night?” JD says sarcastically.

“JD you’re changing-“

“Damn right I’m changing! Maybe this dump is finally starting to get to me did you ever think of that? I managed to go for Round 4 with Elliot and it ended the same way the last three did, with us breaking up and not talking to each other again. I’ve been so busy here that I’ve had less time to see Sam and no time to think about anything other than the hospital. This place is sucking the soul out of body and to top it off I’ve got the most socially and medically inept interns ever making my time here even more like hell on earth. And for once I don’t feel like whining and dumping my problems on everyone like some teenage girl. So excuse me for being cranky or moody or ‘changing’” JD emphasized his last word with air quotes. With that his pager went off and he read the message.

“Oh… my… God!” He lightly shoved Carla out of the way and headed towards the ICU.

When someone drops a bombshell on you it seems hard to comprehend it.

JD walks past Dr. Cox who is leaning up against Dr. Powell’s door with his hands on his head.

Like when you find out that your new boss may not be the bad guy you had hoped they’d be.

JD is almost to the ICU when he falls into a hole in the ground. “What the-“

Inside the hole the Janitor is kneeling down with a huge grin on his face.

“Hey Scooter I got a new way to-“

“I don’t have time for this, Jumpsuit! Why don’t you bother someone who doesn’t have an important job to do?” JD quickly climbs out of the hole and shoulders bumps Ted who falls to the ground clutching a piece of paper.

Or when someone you know does something extremely out of character for them.

Ted thrusts the paper down into the hole and starts laughing.

“Janitor, I’m not going to listen to you anymore! I bought a lottery ticket and at 6:00 PM tonight all my dreams are going to come true! So suck it!” he says smugly.

JD runs into the ICU and snarls at a nurse, “Where’s Maria at?”

The nurse points into a room where an intern has their back turned to the door with their face covered. JD bursts in like gangbusters and slams the door shut behind her.

“Maria please tell me that you did NOT just page me to see how much Tylenol to give Mrs. Jackson.” He said, irritated.

The intern turns around revealing the blonde man from the elevator.

“I’m sorry Dr. Dorian but I didn’t want to exacerbate the patient and-“

“It’s REGULAR STRETNGTH TYLENOL!” JD doesn’t see the group of people gathering outside the private room.

“Here’s what you do: grab a handful, open her mouth and throw. Whatever sticks that’s the correct dosage!” JD cries.

But then when that bombshell finally hits you…

JD stops yelling and thinks about what he just said.

“Something’s familiar about all of this….”

Dr. Cox wheels a patient into the room.

“Did you just page me to see how much Tylenol to give Mrs. Lynchner?”

JD sits nervously in the chair as Dr. Cox stares a hole through his head.

“It’s just I was worried I might exacerbate the patient-“

“It’s regular strength Tylenol. Here’s what you do: open her mouth, grab a handful, whatever sticks, that’s the correct dosage.” Dr. Cox interrups.

It hurts.

JD is running down the hallway trying to find Elliot.

“ELLIOT!” he shouts.

“Yeah?” She’s standing in the doorway.

“I just heard you freaked out on an intern in front of the entire ICU.” She says.

“Elliot, I really need to talk to you.” JD says, ignoring her last comment.

The bombshell can help you take positive steps in building a relationship…

In the cafeteria Dr. Powell is sitting at a table eating a salad. Dr. Cox comes up with a tray and sits down.

“I wanted to apologize for the way I’ve been acting towards you.”

“Big, bad Coxy apologizing? I guess the reports were wrong.” Dr. Powell says, smirking at him.

“I was acting like an ass. It’s just after YEARS of dealing with Bob Kelso, I’ve just so used to the Chief of Medicine being the enemy. And I’m sorry I ever assumed you were anything like Satan.”

Dr. Powell smiles as she picks up her tray.

“Apology accepted Perry.” She walks away from the table and as soon as she does a young girl with curly red hair sits down.

“I’m so sorry. You probably don’t want me sitting here but the only two tables with open seats are filled with either Gynecology girls or surgeons. So I’ll just sit down eat my food and go.” She sits the tray on the table and sits down.

At that moment JD sits down at the table. “I need to tell you something.”

“Have a blast Naomi.”

…Or it can tear a relationship apart.

JD takes a deep breath and folds his hands. “I’m quitting Sacred Heart and joining Elliot’s private practice.”