|Secret Shades of Silver
Author: Lee Black PM
HIATUS When Harry receives a mysterious letter and his father's diary, some things start to change - and not all of them for the better. Starts out JP/LM, later HP/LV. There will be an M rated pounded in later.Rated: Fiction M - English - Drama - Harry P. & Voldemort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,188 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 172 - Published: 10-02-08 - id: 4571761
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue. Thank you, come again.
Anyway, I figure it best to get to the point sometimes, so here goes.
MPREG and points to male/male relationships here. Don't like, don't read.
He made it to the end of the diary without feeling too confused until he noticed a small, barely visible envelope on the back of the last page of the journal. Careful not to disturb the rest of the diary, Harry opened the envelope and pulled out an immaculate, untouched letter that he noticed immediately was addressed to him. Not sure what else he could do, Harry read the letter without hesitating.
To my dearest son
Before anything is explained you must know that I love you with all that I am - I always have and I always will.
Now, on to the matters that you must keep to yourself. Build up your mental shields so that no one can invade them and use this information against you. If you are reading this, I have been murdered.
There is far too much to explain in this letter, but perhaps when you read this letter you will find in your possession a diary of mine that offers some information that will offer you a deeper explanation. I do apologize for leaving you when you are so young.
I do know there are a number of people who wish me dead. I know of only one person who may be on his way at this very moment to take it upon himself to deal with the problems I have caused.
You are my son, but Lily Evans has nothing to do with you, other than the attempts at maternal instinct that she subected you to. You are my son, and you are the son of Lucius Malfoy. Please forgive me, my son. I know this letter is a crude and cowardly way of telling you the truth, but this is the only way I know how to tell you. Not even Lucius Malfoy knows of your relation to him, as I was too much of a coward to tell him the truth. So much for Gryffindor courage, huh?
Lucius Malfoy is a Wood Elf. Keep that fact to yourself, as it will cause not only the upheaval of too many innocent lives, but it will bring to light many things that people in positions of power have killed to keep in the dark. I was his mate, and for a time I accepted that fact. I found myself loving Lucius, fully returning his affections.
But a man in a social position as Lucius' and a man in a social position of my own could not ever be seen together, so I turned down his proposition of bonding and I left him. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and there are many other things some people might regret more than that. I still love Lucius, even as I pen these words, as I know he aches for me. He explained the finer points of Elven mating to me, and perhaps the fact that he revealed so much about his species to me only added salt to the wounds I created when I spurned his formal advances.
Likely he will hate you, but forgive him. He thinks you the product of an unfaithful, traitorous mate and an overbearing Mudblood.
I truly hope that one day Lucius can learn who you truly are, and I can only hope he is willing to put aside what I have done to him and that he can accept you as the son you are to him.
If you find yourself seeking answers, seek out Severus Snape. I trusted him and he has proven to be entirely trustworthy, and he is doing the best thing possible in this war - he is trying to work things out so that, no matter who wins, he comes out as victorious. Trust him. Learn from him. Ask him what I swore him to secrecy about. Remember this: "I am more than what I seem." The phrase will come in handy later, I promise you.
There is far too little time to explain things properly.
I fear my death soon comes, along with Lily's and I can only hope you will survive the wrath of this tyrant. Harry, my son. My dear, sweet, innocent child. Forgive me for my abandonment and my cowardice.
I truly hope you will live and grow to be the strong man I could not be.
Gringotts holds some answers as well, but ask for the Potter accounts directly. I have hidden more answers for you there.
Again, my son, forgive me. Do not hold Lucius' behavior against him.
Good bye, my son. I love you, always.
He was startled out of the daze he had been in since about halfway through the letter when someone knocked on his door. Harry hesitated, not trusting it to be safe.
"Open the door, Potter," came the acidic voice of Professor Snape. It sounded as though he had been either woken up far too early or disturbed from his potion-mixing when he had been instructed to visit Harry, as the boy could not understand why his Professor would show up at the Dursley's home. When Harry hesitated yet another moment, another response came. "Potter, open the door. I do not have the time to deal with your childish antics."
Harry opened the door and was quite surprised to see his Potions Professor wearing almost casual Muggle clothing - a pair of black formal slacks and a black turtleneck sweater. He was perhaps even more surprised to find his hair in a twisted, tangled sort of pigtails tied up in pink bands.
"Professor, what's -"
"I have no time to deal with your trivial questions. I was instructed to bring you to Spinner's End in order that I may answer the questions you have."
Harry crossed his arms as Severus walked in and looked oddly at the sleeping Basilisk on the couch. "And how do you know I have questions?" he asked coolly.
Without looking at Harry, Severus answered him. "Your father has a way of making sure his son is taken care of, even when he is deceased."
"What do you mean, sir?" Harry asked, picking the diary and the letter up, shoving them into the pocket of his cargo pants, hoping Severus wouldn't ask about them. Receiving only an arched eyebrow in response to his actions, Harry seemed surprised when his Potions professor pulled out a Muggle Sharpie and offered it to Harry.
"Well go on, boy. I have only a short time before I am in serious trouble. It is merely a Portkey to Spinner's End."
Harry looked back at Fachtna, making sure he was still asleep, before touching the Sharpie and feeling the tell-tale tugging on his stomach.
He stumbled a bit, feeling nauseous when they arrived in what had to be a living room and immediately a young girl, no older than four years old ran into the room and latched onto Severus' legs.
A moment later an attractive young woman walked out of the room the girl had escaped from and looked Harry over before turning her soft amber eyes onto Severus. "Are we having a guest for dinner, Sev?" she asked, her voice reminding Harry quite a bit of Remus' - it had the same tired but happy quality that the werewolf acquired when he had been recovering from the full moon with Sirius at his side.
"I do not know yet. Has Natalia been recovering?"
"So it would seem." She knelt down to be somewhat eye level with the young girl, who grinned at her right away.
"Hi mommy," she said, her innocent grin turning worried at once. "Are you going to make me take any more of that nasty medicine?"
"No more, Nat, I promise."
"Can we go out to the lake and see if the gryphon will come back?" Natalia asked and the woman nodded.
"Of course. Go to the kitchen and get the food you fixed for the gryphon. I'll be right there, alright?"
The girl nodded and ran into the kitchen and the young woman stood again, looking back at Severus. "I suppose we're having another picnic dinner, then."
"I'll be out in a bit Siobhan," Severus said, leaning down and kissing the woman on the cheek. "Be careful, and don't let her go swimming while she still has a fever."
"Of course," she said quietly.
Once she and Natalia had left the house, Severus led Harry into what was likely his office.
Harry sat down in a chair when Severus motioned that he do so, but he then asked, "Was that your daughter?" The look Severus sent him almost had him take back the question.
"I am not as old as I look, Potter. Remember that I went to school with your father, and as he became your father when he was only seventeen years old, neither of us would be that old. Siobhan is my wife."
"I didn't know you had a wife. Or a daughter," Harry said quietly, feeling less comfortable when he mentioned the fact that Severus had a daughter. It seemed the room had dropped quite a few degrees, but he tried not to let his discomfort show.
"My family is not something I allow many people to know about. Only three people other than myself know about them, not including you. Draco and Lucius Malfoy know, as does the Dark Lord."
"You trust him with your family, the Dark Lord?" Harry asked, unable to stop himself.
"The world is not as black and white as you have been taught to see it, Potter," was all the explanation he offered. "I did not bring you here to discuss my wife and child. I brought you here because you have questions that deserve answering."
"How do I know I can trust you?"
Severus levelled a cool gaze on Harry. "You don't have many other options at the moment. You could approach Lucius Malfoy and then he would lash out at you, thinking it a trick from Dumbledore and basing that information on what he knows, which is not much. You could approach Dumbledore with these questions, but that would guarantee a Memory Charm being placed on you and the destruction of that book in your pocket. Or you could do what your father did and approach the neutral party, burdening them with the responsibility of keeping your secrets until you deem it time for the vow of secrecy to be dinsintegrated," he said. "Do you want answers or not?"
Severus nodded and then turned to a cabinet, unlocking it with a simple word. "The answers are all to be found in these memories," he said as he pulled out a Pensieve. "I will leave you here to review the memories and I will return in an hour's time. Do not try to see everything, as overwhelming yourself will only cause pain and further confusion." He headed for the door and Harry looked back at him.
"Thank you sir."
As he heard the door lock behind him, he stared into the Pensieve and allowed the memories with the most sense of urgency to wash over him.
James Potter was lying on the floor, a rag in his mouth to muffle the screaming, as Severus performed a crude C-section on the man. This was one of the one times that Severus had refused to use either magic or potions to assist the birthing - he had never before acted as mid-wife when a man was the one giving birth and seeing as the child in question was half Wood Elf, he didn't want to risk the Elven mate finding out and maiming Severus for harming his mate or his child in any manner.
"Breathe, Potter. I cannot have a dead body on my floor come dawn," Severus said dryly, likely in a sarcastic attempt to calm the frantic man.
Blood spilled from James' makeshift womb and soon the sounds of an infant crying sounded clear through James' cries of pain.
Another half hour passed and Severus had bandaged James' stomach and wrapped the child in another set of bandages as a makeshift diaper. Severus helped James sit up a bit and he allowed the Gryffindor to lean against him as he caught his breath and recovered from just giving birth to his son.
"You do need to name him, Potter," Severus said almost gently, though one could clearly see he was uncomfortable.
"You were just groping my intestines, Severus. I think that might warrant you caling me by my first name."
"Fine. James," he said, being blatantly sarcastic. "You need to name your son."
"Harry. Harry Lucien Potter."
"That middle name sounds incredibly similar to the name of the youngest Malfoy, you realize." A silence came about before Severus spoke, conjuring a glass of water for both he and James as he did so. "He needs to know that his mate has given birth to a son."
"No," James said, surprising Severus and startling Harry with how forceful he had sounded when speaking. "Lucius has moved on. He has Narcissa now and I cannot let him ruin his life because of something like this."
Severus growled and stood. "You have no idea what you are doing, do you? He is your mate, and you are his! You two were destined to be together and you broke him when you left him! Hiding this is like telling him you wish he was dead!" he snapped. "There is no greater insult, no greater horror to a creature, even a man such a Lucius, than hiding from him the fact that he has a bloody son!"
The newborn Harry started crying and James looked almost close to tears himself.
His vision blurred and another memory appeared before Harry's eyes.
Lucius was confused. He saw a toy that clearly belonged to a boy-child laying on Severus' floor just behind him but the Potions Master was refusing to let him in, even refusing to answer his questions.
"Sev, just tell me what's going on. I can't get any answers about what happened to James. All I know is that someone attacked him and he's gone missing. What potions are you mixing for him?" he asked, not liking at all the way his voice sounded like he was pleading.
Severus took note of this fact but said nothing about it. "I am not allowed to say, Lucius. You know that Dumbledore has me under any number of secrecy vows when it comes to what he requires I do for him," he said. "When I see James to administer the next dosage of potions, would you like me to inform him that you inquired as to his health?"
Lucius dropped his head, his Glamour shimmering off to reveal an overly tired, almost malnourished Wood Elf, and Severus' eyes widened. This was tormenting both James and Lucius too much for him to want to continue to abide by the vows that James had him under, but he knew he could do nothing to get out of the vow, save killing James and that was something he absolutely refused to do. "No," Lucius said quietly, no lifting his head up. "Don't tell him about me at all. He doesn't want anything to do with me, and it is all I can do to satisfy my bond and my duty to make him feel better to just make it seem as though I never existed."
"Trust me," Severus said, leaning against the door and sighing heavily. "That is not the best thing to do. I worry about you, Lucius," he said.
"I will cope. I have Narcissa now and that is where I must stay," Lucius said. He turned away and Apparated back to the Malfoy Manor he had so recently inherited, but Severus would have sworn there had been tears in the ever-stoic Malfoy's eyes.
Harry felt a hand on his shoulder and he was pulled out of the memory. Severus was staring down at the Pensieve, not saying anything for a long moment.
"Has it really been an hour?" Harry asked.
"It has. Come," he said, regaining his composure and becoming once again the Potions Professor, though without any of the spite he normally held when speaking with Harry. "Siobhan has informed me that you are to stay for dinner, and Natalia is waiting to question you as to what you are doing here."
"Why are you helping me, sir?" Harry asked as they walked out to the lake behind Spinner's End.
"You are not the only one who received a letter, Potter," was the only response Harry received before they joined the two women at the lake shore.
Author's Note: Siobhan and Severus have their own side story, which will be posted shortly (and updated just as sparsely).