What's in the news?

Wanted: Warrior Who Dual-Wields Eight Different Kinds of Weapons

This Warrior has been sighted poaching chocobos and stealing assorted weapons from Fynn. He is armed and dangerous. Stay clear and call the Captains.

Firion is seen beating up some guards with an axe, a sword, and a bow.

Forget the guards, release the Behemoth!

"He ate my f--kin' Behemoth, retard!" The Emperor shouts.

D'oh!

HazyFire Still In The Air

Random townfolk are being affected by Ifrit's HazyFire. It seems he can freely come to our world as he pleases. Yuna has lost control over him.

Townspeople running around, destroying stuff and rioting.

Carl 'CJ' Johnson fires off a rocket to scatter the crowd.

"HazyFire has taken its toll.." Tidus says.

"I wonder if Shiva could counter it?" Yuna wonders.

Two Armored Warriors Fight In Ancient Shrine

"I'll crush you!!" one warrior shouts.

"Hatred is what drives me!" the other counters.

Is this, as well, the effects of HazyFire?

The first warrior wins, "Mwahahaha! Know your place!"

Princess Garnet Still Resembles Selena Gomez

...no comment.

"Who's spreading rumors about me?" Garnet demands.

Grogh Heights Now Safe

The Monks from the hill have been defeated and the chocobos are safe again, except for that nutcase Firion trying shred them all up with his eight different weapons...

"Wow, that's good stuff! We'll be back with more news!" Ramza announces.

To be Continued...

BONUS: Exdeath Pwned By 'Grinders'

BONUS: Besaid Chronicles IV Rumors....

"Really!? I can't wait!" Rikku exclaims.

"I'll make more Yuneos..." Yuna says.