Disclaimer: In the first chapter

Warnings: Mentioned mostly in first chapter but to break it down it is rated for various adult themes.

A/n: Hey readers! Wow, do you know that about a month ago I had planned to start working on a new chapter, more specifically I had wanted to start very soon after chapter 6, but I never did. Although I haven’t actually updated anything…that I remember…but I think I started a new story…wait…it doesn’t matter! Haha! Because I am about to bring you chapter 7! Yes…I write authors notes before I write the chapter…so below this is currently a lot of white space (-_-);

So enough of that completely confused babble, lemme get down to it and thank you to all my reviewers, you guys are appreciated :3

Chapter 7

- He said come fly around my Hell –

The rain brought a very dull atmosphere to any situation for most people; it was considered dreary, uncomfortable and even depressing. L supposed that yes…if you were in any of those moods or perhaps that way by personality, then it would most certainly be.

He however took it as a wonderful way to spend the day, listening to the rain, he’d prefer to be outside in it but it was not a good idea for his health. He didn’t think himself susceptible to colds and flu’s but he wasn’t taking chances, not since experiencing the germ feeling prickling on his skin so consistently and floating around in the air he needed to breath when he had been sick.

He was working on his lap top which Quillsh had set up by the window at his request when they’d arrived at the hotel, that morning Quillsh had left wrapped in coats and with a large black umbrella in tow. Curling his thin and somewhat stiff fingers into loose fists he took his attention from the computer screen to the window and leaned over to his right, raising one of his arms and resting his elbow on the window frame, raising himself from his seat to slightly stand as well so he could look out, his toes absently curling into the plush carpeting of the hotel room while his free fist slipped into the loose slacks he was wearing.

He saw only blurs of black circles, various sizes of umbrellas; such a sight was typical in London town, since if it wasn’t raining it was the talk of the day. He touched his hand to the cold window pane, his long white sleeve falling back to reveal his thin wrist and some of his forearm. His eye’s trailed to his fingers, no longer focused on the outside of the blur through the windows but on the purple veins barely visible on top of his hand, he was pale but not transparent, his skin was so mat and white it seemed offensive and ill when surrounded by over cast skies and dull lighting…the rain drops clinging to the window like a sad picture behind his hand.

He was apathetic to it at any rate, staring at the slight sweat his hand left on the glass when he slid it down slightly, he would admit that this was a different rain, the sort that made even the bed sheets ice cold and feel wet when you first touched them, made the outside of your clothes continually feel cold and tips of your fingers and toes icy so that if warm water touched it, it burned when the blood returned to full flow within the small places.

Bitter cold…bitter weather, like the rain gods…if he believed in such were crying tears of unhappiness rather than blissful divinity. He cracked a smile at that and found himself blinking at what a ridiculous thought it was, god’s tears and other such rubbish always amused him. He didn’t know how he’d become an atheist, but he knew it had started around the first time Quillsh had taken him to church and he’d seen the faithful god followers praying for their god whilst on their knees…as if they might find him underneath the pews.

This time he laughed at his thoughts, he had been about 8 when he’d become an atheist then. Seeing something and having a solid form of evidence was believing it…or in his case it was proving it. The mind of a detective was as such, whether it was real to him or people, if he couldn’t prove it and in return something could not be proven then it meant nothing.

He heard a door in the hotel room opened and L removed his hand from the glass completely, turning his head around and placing his ice cold index finger to his lips, his eyes focused on the archway, passed that point he could only see a small part of the large hotel room. He heard Quillsh clearing his throat and the shuffling of clothes, obviously removing his coats and then he passed by L’s line of sight and he noticed Quillsh carrying a grocery bag.

He walked across the room to approach the kitchen and he peered in at the old man,

“Have you bought anything for me?” he mumbled against his finger and Quillsh nodded,
“You never fail to ask that when I return with groceries…” he reached into one of the bags and dug around until he pulled out a hot sealed tray of cinnamon buns.

L didn’t deny he always awaited some kind of treat having grown up knowing that Quillsh usually bought him something when he went out, when you become used to something it’s hard to give up.

“I…have been productive this morning…” he spoke to the man he saw as more of a father than any man related by blood might have been for him.

“Oh…?” Quillsh had already switched on the modern kettle for tea and he was taking out two cups.

L tipped his head to the side and placed his hands over the plastic wrapping of the cinnamon bun tray, shaping them under his hands and seeing their sweet icing coating sticking to the plastic whilst the steam collected inside the warm package,

“Yes, I tried to complete as many smaller cases as was possible, seeing as how you would like me to discuss with you the problem you mentioned this morning.” His tone was a little misplaced and annoyed when he thought back to the morning.

Quillsh had walked into the master bedroom and not found L there, so he’d gone on to search the hotel suite and found L asleep on the couch, legs half over the edge and hands dangling over the edge as well. All L remembered was that Wammy had been in an unpleasant mood and further that it was in accordance with a call he’d received, that’s all he’d mentioned.

That had been at 7:30 am and it was well into late morning now, about 9:30 and he had been left alone after his abrupt waking, being told Wammy was going out and L would need to be prepared when he returned, they had business of Wammy’s House to discuss.

After a shower, which L couldn’t say he really appreciated since he much preferred bathing and lying down, he dressed and forced himself to focus on work. L had been raised by an attentive man and he felt inadequate that morning when he’d practically been scolded for waking up late but was it even that?

He raised his grey eyes to watch the back of the grey head of hair as the sound of a teaspoon clinking inside the cups was all that was around them, he was surprised he’d had no response yet; it felt distinctly like he’d been ignored.

After a further silence L clutched the plastic package between his pale hands and ripped it apart so the warm vapor wafted up and he could smell the buns, he lifted one of the palm size buns between his thumb and two fingers and licked at it experimentally,

“If…you are not interested in talking then I shall find something else to do.” He said rudely and turned away with his treat.

“Sit down, boy.” Quillsh used the tone L had last heard when had been 11, a time he remembered precisely when being scolded for throwing a tantrum and making the calm Quillsh Wammy angry by its unnecessary nature. Again he felt patronized and belittled at being addressed in such a manner, he was no longer a boy…and he most certainly had ceased being a child years before regardless of his age to contradict it.

But, he turned back and used his bare foot to pull at the foot rest at the bottom of a kitchen counter stool so it scraped loudly and he sat down, curling his toes of one of his feet around the thin bar as his other leg awkwardly came up to balance on the tiny space left on the stool surface. He bit into the bun and the stickiness messed his cheek and the sides of his mouth, so he reached over and took a serviette from the bun packaging to wipe his mouth while staring defiantly at his knee.

The saucer was noisy as Quillsh pushed it across the counter to L with the tea cup in it and afterward the sugar bowl, childishly L didn’t look at the tea or thank him for making it like he might usually, he wasn’t exactly pouting but his pale mouth was not in the most pleasant shape as he opened it around another bite of the bun.

A loud sigh made his eyes dart to see Quillsh’s shoulders slouch and he leaned his elbows on the counter, his tea cup placed between his arms and the steam rising up, L noticed clouding the old man’s glasses, he then noticed the deep frown and how it pronounced the fine wrinkles on his forehead,

“I apologize for the way I spoke L, I am simply concerned for what has been happening and how inconsistent I have been in keeping track.”

L’s eyes lingered and then he looked at the slight brightness that covered the room, it seemed to come through the window and it lit up the window pane and his grey eyes became a shade lighter making the black eye lashes of his eyes contrast and he blinked his stare back to the old grey –blue eyes that were staring at the tea cup as if it held answers for him.

“What’s happened then?” he questioned in his apathetic tone as he began to fiddle with the sugar bowl, the sweetness of the bun was pleasant but it made his throat very dry.

“It’s your successor.” Came the sighed answer.

L’s mind instantly thought of the black hair and the smell of fresh rain and fainter thoughts of the apple scent…the lighter grey eyes and the smile that made butterflies form effortlessly in the pit of his stomach…which in turn brought a red blush across his pale face from his last memory of B’s advances…how after he had forced every thought of B from his head for it to return so easily was frustrating to think of.

But…they weren’t about to discuss Back Up…L knew so he tilted his head down and let his soft black hair hide his face and his eyes as he stared at the counter, seeing the surface dim by the darkening of the sky outside the window again.

“Has he showed a drop in potential…are his grades disappointing?” he asked mechanically and he knew the old man wouldn’t suspect a thing if he couldn’t see L’s face.

“Beside that…” it was a dull response and it made L hesitate with the first of a handful of sugar cubes for his tea, he made a sound in the back of his throat for Quillsh to continue.

“…he is very ill, L…”

L dropped the cube and it splashed up tea which messed the saucer and drops on the counter, he lifted his head and his eyes focused on Quillsh who took a serviette from the bag the buns had been in and he wiped at the counter, making L push his tea aside and place the half eaten bun down on the side of the saucer,

“Ill in what way…? Something so concerning as if he may not live to be my successor?” still mechanical but in the back of his mind were a mixture of words spoken to him by a familiar mouth…mentions of torment and making A miserable…to pass the time L was not there.

He hadn’t been there in months again.

“He’s taken to the cliché of self harm and he’s become volatile, picking fights with children and taking out his frustration on them, mostly kids younger or of his own age. Roger describes it as a pitiful anger; he says A looks unwell and has been steadily becoming worse. They had only noticed somewhere in late January when they had nurses perform the regular check-ups on all children. A had refused to be seen to and after forcing it upon him they discovered the cuts, bruises and how frail he has become, like he has been starving himself but hiding it underneath layers of clothing.”

“And we are certain the wounds are self inflicted?”

“What are you implying?”

L looked up at Quillsh when the somewhat irate tone was detected in the question,

“…I am not implying anything; I am asking if the wounds are sufficiently proven self inflicted Mr. Wammy.”

“Well why wouldn’t they be, do you think another child or one of the staff might take to obvious abuse such as cutting?” it was a decent question but L always asked with reason and he saw this dawn upon Quillsh’s face slowly.

“Please L, tell me what you’re thinking?” he now seemed to be exhausted.

It exhausted L all of these emotions people around him went through.

He thought now of what he had been thinking…yes…he knew B had to have something to do with it but was he going to tell that to the man holding the power to have him thrown into another orphanage? L was about to act selfishly which was actually more often than not,

“Bullying can be extensive…” he said after a long while and he cast his eyes down so he didn’t have to see the frown deepen on the old man’s face, “… but cutting is most likely self inflicted…bruising however less likely. I am simply mentioning that there may be children who push him to the extent of hurting himself…is all and so in turn he is hurting weaker children.”

Quillsh said nothing until L heard him sip his tea and he sighed again as he placed the cup back down, L looked up but only as far as he could see Quillsh’s hands form a steeple below his chin and they were shaking,

“I see…yes well, ultimately we cannot do anything about it but hope for the best and to see that he recovers, Roger is having him see a therapist and prescribing him medication and monitoring him closely. I needed to let you know that…” a pause where L felt compelled to make eye contact which he saw was necessary since Wammy stared at him over his glasses, his eyes tired but focused, “…you may need to think of another successor for first place.”

L’s eyes widened involuntarily which signaled he was thinking as his eyes rolled up to the ceiling, he knew what was floating in both their heads and in the light tension between them, Wammy was staring at L so directly to see just how side tracked he had become, but L was a genius and he it didn’t even take that to see the challenge lied before him.

Not that he needed to consider it as such, the reality was as it would be and he was not about to jeopardize anything based on hormones and a teenage attraction. While he had a bizarre affinity for Beyond Birthday, it was an entirely different case when it came to his name and legacy and the legend of ‘L’ he wished to be left behind in the world.

“I understand.” He stated dully as his eyes lowered to Wammy and returned to their regular size, he nibbled at the dry icing on his thumb when he brought it to his mouth, “…A is no longer suitable due to his state of mind…we shall have to look for new potential candidates.” He said just what he knew Quillsh wanted to hear, but it was also the truth.

“Yes.” Came the confident reply and L forced himself not to smile as he bit at his nail that held some more of the sweetness hidden beneath.

“I had expected as such, I needn’t tell you that I don’t think Back Up is suitable either.” He had to say it and L let his leg stretch from its cramped position as he moved to stand up.

“No, you don’t need to explain at all, Beyond is no more stable mentally that A appears to be, we cannot entrust him with any such task as great as the responsibility of human lives. It’s a pity to waste a brilliant mind like his own, but it’s become obvious during my time spent with him that he has little respect for authority, dedication to morals and he is highly prone to violence.” He said easily as the bones in his back snapped into comfort when he stretched.

L knew he’d answered in a rehearsed manner but it was fine since it showed he’d considered it prior to this happening. He placed a hand in his hair and massaged his head lightly while he stared at the floor, eyes distant and his other hand hanging limply at his side.

“Hm.” The old man sounded absently.

L looked at Quillsh who was sipping his tea with raised eyebrows.

“What is it?” L asked and slipped his hands both into his loose tracksuit pants pockets.

“Hm? Oh…” Quillsh realized he’d made the sound aloud and he shook his head, “…nothing really, I am relieved is all. I had foolishly believed that your friendship with him had clouded your judgment.”

‘Him’ was Beyond, no doubt and L felt his jaw tighten at those words, but not noticeably. L didn’t respond and was content to stare at the other with an expression he saw was visibly making Quillsh uncertain of his thoughts and he eventually had to speak again,
“I was justified, you have been unfocused and I was not imagining it.”

“Oh but of course. How right you are.” L responded openly and almost speaking before the sentence had completely left the old man’s wrinkled mouth.

Quillsh looked at L, who wore the vague and innocent expression that never fooled him,

“Now, if you’ve noting else to do, I would like to visit Wammy’s as I mentioned to you yesterday as soon as possible, have you done what I requested?” He turned slowly after Quillsh gave a curt nod whilst keeping his gaze averted, after the conversation and its unpleasant nature L couldn’t imagine there would be conversation for a while.

He walked away and back into the lounge area and he walked over to the window and he closed his lap top, looking out to see the rain falling heavier and he smiled to himself.

Beyond was not suitable to be his successor, that went without saying, but it did leave him obligation free and leave open end to the situation, since he no longer had to worry about long term expectation from B…whether he decided to allow Beyond more exceptions pertaining to their…friendship…or if he decided to cut him off completely, he saw no long term repercussions.

He wasn’t fond of the word ‘friend’ since he understood little of its implications yet there really was no other word for it either. Once he decided that the rain would remain heavy he didn’t wish to waste anymore of the day so he left the comfort of the rain sound and sight against the window pane and walked around to where he found the keys to Quillsh’s car, but he didn’t want the old Mercedes so he shuffled around the desk until he found the keys to the 96’ Mercedes Benzs-320, which even though L didn’t like it, it was far better than driving the bulky limo.

He walked over to the door and leaned down to pull on his sneakers he’d left there when they’d checked in 3 days before, having not left again they’d been untouched, he paused though when he realized he had no socks on and truthfully L was more uncomfortable when his bare feet chafed the inside of shoes than to just wear them, so he carried his shoes into the master bedroom to dig through his bags for socks and a jeans which he changed into first.

Quillsh was standing in the doorway when L had finally pulled on socks and then fastened his shoes all quickly; he stood up and turned to find the old man looking at him with a strangely concerned look,

“It is most unusual of you to be doing this, I can’t express how concerned I am for you to be outside let alone driving yourself in the rain.”

L’s irritation bubbled and he checked his pocket for his cell phone before pulling it out,

“I will have this with me and I will be contactable at all times, if you like I’ll let Roger know I am there and he can confirm it with you…” he felt like he was being patronized again and even if Quillsh was his father in certain ways…L maintained he was not a child.

“Besides…it’s not as if I am a target, no one knows who I am, and I’m quite sure I’d be labeled a social hazard and repel people by the way I look on the off chance I have to leave the car before I arrive.” The apathy wasn’t masking the sarcasm or clipped tone of voice too well and L slipped his cell phone back into his pocket and let his eyes fall on Quillsh’s stern expression, his hands behind his back and posture perfect, looking down at L in that ‘I know all’ manner that grated him more so now that he was impatient.

Although he wasn’t the type to throw his hands out and puff his cheeks to get his way…he had been at one time before he realized it was very inappropriate behavior, but he did roll his eyes almost unnoticeably and fidget around the room gathering his wallet before waiting to leave.

After a moment Quillsh sighed and stepped aside,

“Please inform Roger as you said you would and do not stay over at the orphanage, I expect you here as you have work to do.”

Work…work…work…L walked by him rudely and quickly, hearing his sneakers on the carpet as he dragged his feet, slouching over ever so slightly as he made his way. He gripped the keys in his other pocket tightly before grasping the door handle of the double doors to the hotel room, pulling on it and pulling it inward so he could leave, the smell of clean carpet rushed his senses as he stepped outside into the hall and clicked the door closed behind him.

He stood for a moment and let go of the door handle, he felt such an alien emotion mixed with equally alien anxiety, it was stronger that it had been over the last year and a half, he felt like he was making a mistake. Quillsh had never done anything wrong to him, he had never lied or treated L unfairly…depending on how he looked at it. His responsibilities were just much more than that of a regular boy his age, but then again it wasn’t as if he was shunting them, he was just taking an afternoon break, to see a friend…an only friend.

He sighed since no one was around and shook his head out of frustration, leaning against the wall to the side of the door and rubbing his eyes for a moment before he dragged his hands down over his face…he wanted to just let go…for just a while and he had only ever came close to that when he was around Beyond, was it so bad?

He did one last check on his person to confirm he had the keys, his cell and his wallet with his alias license inside and then he pushed himself off the wall and walked to the elevators with his shoulders hunched and his hands deep in his pockets.

When he reached the parking floor and walked into the grey empty area, save for a few expensive cars, the chill in the air made his skin prickle. There were small gusts of wind obviously finding their way from small opening in the concrete enclosed area and he could smell the rain and see wet tread marks on the ground from cars coming in from the rain.

He listened to the dull and almost inaudible sound of the rain through the thick walls and the light scraping of his shoes as he walked to the grey car.

He clicked the car alarm while his hand was still in his pocket and he glanced around when he heard a car entering, driving past once he was already extracting the keys and pulling the door open. L didn’t drive often, he’d barely had the chance but it wasn’t something he was nervous about or that he’d forgotten how to do. As he got into the car and adjusted the seat and mirrors he thought of how Quillsh had been nervous when giving him lessons, L had barely even touched his foot to the accelerator before Wammy had strapped on his seat belt.

“Trust me with a handgun and a pilot license…but not in a car…” he mumbled with a smile as he pulled the seat belt across his chest, he hated the way it applied minimal pressure to him, he wasn’t claustrophobic but he never liked restriction of movement.

He’d been to lessons for piloting and other things but acquired licenses by his name ‘L’ through every government, no one saw him or knew how old he was and beside that, granting him the licenses, they’d had no choice, he was L.

‘I am L.’

L cleared his throat when the familiar voice echoed in his head, in a voice that was similar but not quite his; he started the car and started to reverse out of the parking space.

The name on his driver’s license was for a ’19 year old William Roberts of Sussex’ which was fine since L didn’t really appear to be a specific age, he was tall enough but not too tall, his voice was baritone and had been since he was 14 more or less and he would never be mistaken for a child when he opened his mouth to speak.

He was not a child.

The drive was slow and the hour seemed to drag since the traffic was medium, as it usually was in the streets of London and when he finally reached the driveway and large gates of Wammy’s House in Winchester he was grateful, driving was boring but the rain in these parts was just a light drizzle thus far so it had been easier than the main city. He was about to get out of the car to open the gates when he saw one of the orphanage teachers walking toward the gate with a raincoat on and when he saw L through the windscreen he walked faster and smiled broadly, coming along the path way to open the large gates.

They didn’t know who L was, very few people who worked here had been introduced to him as ‘L’ but to most of the common staff he was known to be very important to the ‘L’ system. He drove in and nodded his thanks to the man who waved and smiled, L saw him leaving the gate open as he drove up the path, driving into the small private parking space and into Quillsh’s reserved spot.

He got out of the car and he saw the teacher walking back into the parking lot, he smiled as he walked by,
“Afternoon.” He greeted and L nodded again and slipped his hands into his pockets, the car alarm beeping right before the other man’s car alarm beeped too.

It was likely afternoon by now and it was more or less the time he would have liked to arrive…lunch time. As he walked around the back and along the stone tiled path, he looked over the large front yard, it was empty, the grass damp and green, there were no children because it was lunch time and they were all inside, rain never deterred them usually, he recalled many a time when children were scolded for playing outside in the rain but it still happened.

He looked over at the tree near the far wall of the back yard and he stopped walking when he saw, just like he had many months before, Beyond sitting underneath the tree. He had his head dipped and was busy with something that kept his attention caught and even from that distance L thought the slouch in B’s shoulders was not mimicked and was most likely due to his mood, which he figured wasn’t happy…he figured but didn’t know.

He was about to walk across the grass to B, his feet wanting to carry him automatically to a comfort zone but he remembered he had to let Roger know he was there.

When L back stepped as far as the steps and noticed B wasn’t looking up, he turned and headed up the stairs pushing one of the doors open and stepping inside. He ran his hands through his hair that had been dampened by the drizzle and afterward he ruffled it so it fell randomly on his head again, he blinked a few times to adjust to the dim lighting of the entrance hall and then made his way inside, his shirt clinging to him and his jeans cold, the water hadn’t made it through his sneakers yet so he was glad. With a small sigh he made his way to Roger’s ‘Headmaster’s’ office, knowing that once that was done he had the freedom of the afternoon.

“Oh…sir, what are you doing here?”

L paused and turned around to look back down the hall to the doorway he’d past a moment ago that had been half closed; Roger was standing with his hand on the door handle, about to close it when he’d seen L.

“I was on my way to your office.” He informed quietly and his deep voice carried over to Roger’s old ears and his face set in a frown,

“Is there something the matter?” he asked and left the door open to straighten his jersey over the faded blue shirt, his hands shaking as he straightened his clothes, “…are you here about what I told Mr. Wammy?” he asked and the frown deepened.

L’s eyes widened in a way that Roger was used to but it was because L realized he’d forgotten completely about the child, A, that had been discussed that morning. He nodded slightly,

“I’m not here for that reason, but perhaps I should look into it.” It wasn’t a question.

He saw the questioning look Roger gave him since Roger didn’t know of any other important reason L might be here, before realizing he was out of line and pushing the door inward,
“Come and see him then, I was just about to leave him to rest.” He disappeared inside and L walked toward the door to find the nurses rooms to be the door he’d passed.

With a slight grimace he stepped inside, hands deep in his pockets so he touched nothing, regardless of how sterile the 3 room office was he wasn’t happy to be in a sick bay, it made him uncomfortable. He saw Roger enter one of the small cubicles and smile to someone.

“I know I said I’d leave you, but someone has come to see you.”

That was a blatant lie by even L’s standards, he was not there to see this boy and it was misleading to say such a thing, he barely raised an eyebrow when he heard a mumbled ‘who’, the voice sounded a bit frightened.

“Just a moment…” Roger said and stepped back out, pulling the door slightly closed and stepping to L,

“I have to return to my office, I have things to do, will you be fine?” he asked and looked at L who was inches taller than Roger, he was never a tall man.

L nodded,

“Please inform Mr. Wammy I arrived here safely.” He added in a quiet tone.

“He isn’t here with you?”

L couldn’t get mad for being asked, it was the way he usually came, but he didn’t want Roger thinking he owed him explanation so he made sure his expression was simple to read,

“No, I came alone.” And he left no room for anything else, walking around the old man and toward the door.

Pushing the door open with his foot L entered slowly and he turned to look at the blonde haired boy on the high bed, but it wasn’t the drip in his arm or the sunken appearance of his eyes and gaunt ashen appearance of his face that made L raise a thin black eyebrow, it was expression of fright on the boys face. And not the fright of ‘Oh my god it’s L’ like a few kids had expressed in the past when catching glimpses of him, it was the expression that suggested A wanted to hide from him in literal fear.

But when L faced him fully and pushed the door shut with the very tips of his fingers so it clicked shut quietly, he looked back to find he could almost see the boy analyzing him, watching his movements and it didn’t make him uncomfortable but it made him curious since relief seemed to ease its way into the blue eyes previously riddled with fright.

“You seemed afraid when I entered.” He stated and took a step closer; he had never seen much of this child other than the photograph attached to his file in Wammy’s basement so he let his eyes take in everything, his mind placing his memorized image of the child to what he saw now before him.

Growth had made him much taller, his bone structure more developed and from what L could see even though A was lying in the bed, A was drastically underweight for someone of his height.

A’s expression had become far calmer after L spoke, as if he’d been waiting for something and then all L could see were glints of anger in the pale blue eyes.

“…no, sir…I was just surprised to have a visitor.” He said in a slightly raspy tone and sat up a little straighter.

L hadn’t been interested before but as he came to stand directly at the bedside and he saw the discoloration over A’s neck, tinged faded purple and yellow from bruising, he took this situation more seriously, bullying to this extent was not to be taken lightly.

“Who choked you?” L asked flatly and slipped his hands from his pockets again, one grasping A’s bony chin and the other moving his neck length limp hair from the side of face to assess another bruise under his left temple.

For a moment all A registered was L’s cold but soft hands on his person and he could smell L, actually smell him when he spoke and stood so close and it was the most comforting thing he’d experienced in a long time, not harsh.

“Well?” L questioned again.

“…uh…oh…no one, sir.” A managed out as he relaxed in L’s grasp, feeling L’s hand leave his chin and go down to press against his chest slightly, A grimaced and his breath was lost for a second. L’s other hands pushed him down to lay by his shoulder and moved the white sheets down and pulled up A’s red sweater, his grey eyes widening to their contemplative size as he saw larger bruising over the skin stretched across visible ribs.

“I won’t question further if you lie about it, but you must understand…” L placed a hand on A’s tummy and applied pressure again to which A made a small whimper, his stomach having already been sucked in by malnourishment was now being pulled away from L’s hand and A had tears in his eyes more from shame than anything else.

L pulled the shirt down and tucked the sheets back up before continuing,

“…if you do not tell me, I cannot do anything about it and it may happen again.”

A sat up suddenly and clutched L’s arm,

“But would you do anything…even if I told you?” the question was direct and when L looked at A he saw the answer to his question and his earlier confusion.

This boy was afraid and it was likely of Beyond…when L had entered A had been afraid it was Beyond and when L had spoken it confirmed for A that he was safe. The only reason L assumed this was because he knew they were roommates and B had informed him months before…of what was happening, L also knew just how well B mimicked him.

He wouldn’t take blame; it hadn’t been his place to do anything when Beyond had told him, like right then as A was looking at him imploringly, he could not feel guilt…but if Beyond was responsible L couldn’t allow it to go on and he knew it.

He glanced at A’s hand around his arm but he didn’t let go and instead tears made their way out of his blue eyes,

“I just want my own room sir…please?” he mumbled and his cracked lips shook.

L cleared his throat and he placed his hand over A’s so he could peel the thin fingers from his arm, the boys hands so cold even through L’s white shirt and the cold air around them.

“…yes, I can do that, but you will concede to 24 hour monitoring and you will not give any of the staff trouble for it, no door loc-“

“No...!” he gripped L’s hand now that was removing his fingers slowly and L looked a little irritated when he met A’s pleading face, “…please let me lock my door…I-“

“I cannot allow you that privilege and I won’t negotiate my decisions.” He said with a tone that made A let go of him and L grabbed A’s wrist none too lightly and pushed up the sleeve to reveal the bandages covering what he imagined were cuts, “…for this reason it is unsuitable to leave you unattended and we cannot have you dying under our supervision, you will either comply to what I’ve said…or be forced to share a room.”

The words were unkind but the point valid and A let his eyes drop down to L’s spindly hands as they lightly clutched his thin arm and he didn’t say anything or look at L again, the eyes were still too similar even if the hands holding him were not.

“You must eat properly and take the medication prescribed to you.” L’s tone was softer now as he pulled A’s sleeve back down and covered the thin arm, “…your health is deteriorating rapidly, and you mustn’t worry about grades and such, only your convalescence.”

“What do you mean not worry about my grades…what about…” he didn’t finish and still didn’t look at L but he felt L move away, the slight warmth and smell of his clothes and presence lessening when he moved.

“Your health is all you need concern yourself with…”

That seemed like enough said and A raised his head to stare at L who looked at him with a blank expression, it wasn’t obvious but A suspected as much…that L was telling him more than just to take care of himself…L was telling him that it was all he had to worry about now…period.

No more number 1…had Beyond won?

How did life manage to mean so little when a single man spoke a few words?

Without anything further L took his leave, closing the door and leaving A alone again, he didn’t believe L cared for his health and it hurt even worse with everything else he was going through.

He glanced at the window far from his bed where outside rain fell harder now against the window pane and he shivered from the cold air in the room.

Neither of them had mentioned knowing who was responsible for A’s trauma, A would say nothing because he didn’t believe B couldn’t get to him if he wanted and L wouldn’t say anything…for whatever reason he favored B.

It disgusted A to think about it and he touched his neck remembering being slammed into the bathroom cabinet and mirror while his air supply was cut off from B’s cold hands around his neck…it wasn’t the first time but it was the most severe to date. He shivered again but not from cold this time and he absently tucked hair behind his ear…it had become long enough again.

Once L was back in the open hall he felt less claustrophobic and he could no longer smell the sick and unhealthy tinge that had been on A’s person. He stared at the door for a few seconds before he turned to walk back down the hall, not needing to go to Roger’s office anymore he was headed back to where he had seen Beyond, his steps were quick and light now that he was rushing, he wanted to get out of the orphanage for a short while at least.

He pulled the large back door open and gust of cold wind hit him along with a gush of rain and when he was continually pelted with it he realized it was raining in his direction, it all seemed a little déjà vu-ish, since he was expecting to find B under the tree and right he was since he still saw the figure there, when he stepped out and shut the door and felt the rain soaking through his clothes quickly and he managed to see Beyond standing now, under the tree.

He began making his way toward the tree, crossing the yard and L felt that lesser anxious feeling well up inside him as he approached and he watched Beyond, who raised his head when L approached and he clearly saw B’s face light up. Once under the tree he wasn’t being rained down upon anymore but he was freezing cold and he saw B smile right when he reached out, taking a fist full of L’s shirt and tugging him forward.

For a moment L was shocked and thought B might do something terribly embarrassing…but he had just pulled him closer so he was more under the covering of the tree, of course B was less than a foot from him now and L noticed with a lazy blink that B was taller than him…still, even though he had grown in height during his absence.

“That was rude…” L deadpanned and stood up straight, unable to help the slight chattering of his teeth.

Beyond laughed and L’s stomach fluttered when he looked at the broad smile on the slender face as Beyond reached out a hand and touched some of L’s soaked wet hair, making droplets run onto his fingers.

“Why are you out-“ L paused and looked down when he saw something moving and as he stared down he felt water running down his neck from his wet hair when he tilted his head. Under Beyond’s shoe was the tail of a tiny brown garden mouse, its squeaks were lost to the sound of rain, but it was running and scampering with all its might to go free, making futile attacks to the shoes Beyond wore.

“I didn’t want to let it go…” he added in his lighter tone of voice but his eyes stayed focused on L but his smile had gone.

“Wammy’s doesn’t allow pets.” L informed and brought his cold hand up to scratch his cheek, which had several jet black hair strands stuck to it and across his forehead.

L noticed that as usual B was elated to see him and it didn’t bother him much that B just stared at him, of course L stood up straight so he seemed less short and was almost B’s height.

“I didn’t want it as a pet…” B said with a lack of expression on his face and right before L’s eyes he stood off from the tree, trapping the mouse’s tail tighter beneath his shoe and with his other foot…he stomped on it very hard.

L had been staring at B’s face until B looked down and the small thud sounded, his grey eyes dropped to see the mouse’s little leg kicking its last and when B raised his foot its blood and tiny insides were visible in the short grass and it was mostly flat. Many words ran through L’s mind until he settled on telling Beyond that what he did was uncalled for…but the words never left his mouth as he raised his eyes to look at Beyond who had no expression still as he stared at the dead rodent.

‘It’s just a mouse…’ L told himself in thought and he glanced backward to the doors of the orphanage, “…it’s cold and I need to dry off.” Was all he said, completely ignoring the little helplessly killed mouse, that he noticed out of the corner of his eye, B stomped further into the ground before finally leaving it alone and Beyond came to stand in front of him even after he turned around,

“I’m glad you came…it’s been too long and I was starting to miss you too much.”

L stared at him with no expression and he let his eyes trail over B’s slight smile and he saw the tension in the younger boys jaw…what did ‘miss you too much’ mean, was there an extent by which B might snap and do something…whatever it might be, was there a limit and was it dangerous?

Did…L really care…because after that morning there were no long term repercussions so should it matter whether B snapped, he assumed the worst would be that Beyond may hate him, but for L that was a small price to pay.

He cast his eyes downward and the rain falling around them was the most predominant sound until B shifted and L watched his feet and listened to him breath,

“Let’s go inside.” He said and turned to walk away.

L had a mind to say that he did not take orders from anyone but he didn’t because it had been his idea originally to go inside so he followed B back into the rain and across the yard.

L had fetched the key to his room from Roger’s office and ignored the expression on the man’s face when he saw L’s clothes soaked thoroughly. He was now unlocking the door to his room and he pushed it open and stepped inside, it wasn’t too stuffy since it was cleaned once a week when he wasn’t there but it made him breathe a little shallower.

The light came on and he glanced over his shoulder at Beyond who had his hand rested on the switch, he stepped inside and closed the door after L who heard Beyond sniff and B heard L do it as well, both of their white shirts soaked, except Beyond had a black long sleeve on under his white shirt, so unlike L, his pale skin wasn’t visible beneath it.

They were both cold and the room was chilly as well, L watched as B reached his arms up over his head and pulled both shirts off in one go, they came off slowly since they were stuck to him but when he had it off he bunched it up before heading into L’s bathroom. L’s hands were idle at his sides and he ran them over the cold wet surface of his jeans as he felt water drip onto his shoulders, he noticed B was not as pleasant as he’d been outside and it left him feeling a little lost, he hadn’t remembered B being so volatile toward him.

He sniffed again and with a little frustration kicked his shoes off before bending to pull the dark wet socks from his cold feet and tossing them on the ground. The atmosphere was dreary now and while the room was lit and appeared warmer, with the rain, cold and over cast weather and including B’s sudden mood, it was still not a nice setting.

He didn’t look at Beyond when he emerged from the bathroom, L curled his toes into the carpet, disliking the feeling of distance between them, why did Beyond’s mood affect him so badly.

B came to stand beside him and L noticed he held a large dry towel, L’s finger came up to his mouth out of habit and he raised his eyes to look at Beyond,

“You should take your wet clothes off and change…” B said in that distant voice and L grabbed the towel held it, B didn’t move any further despite the rude action and he reached for the hem of L’s shirt, to which L smacked his hands away away,

“What are you doing?” he was just being moody because Beyond had been.

Beyond stood there and his shoulders were slouched, his skin was damp and L could feel the cold from it, everything suddenly didn’t feel very real, the room had already held more than a few awkward moments and L’s eyes drifted over to the door he had been pinned against last, yet even though being alone with Beyond had proven to him that he lacked the control to say ‘no’ and ‘stop’ right when it was necessary, he still chose to put himself alone with Beyond.

Sexual attraction.

L was 17 now and he’d stopped denying it to himself a long time ago that he had an interest in Beyond that was not plutonic, it hardly mattered that Beyond was another guy, it was all dependant on what L wanted…or so he hoped.

“You’re cold Ryuzaki.”

“Not Ryuzaki.” Clipped and quick in reply and Beyond grabbed handfuls of his own hair and pulled it back from his face, closing his eyes and letting out a long sigh as he turned away from L, that name was beginning to upset him.

“Is something wrong?” L asked as quietly as he could.

“Every time you go away…every time…you come back and we aren’t the same…” Beyond’s voice was angry and a little crazed.

“We?” L asked tilting his head.

He felt cruel for playing with Beyond but he wasn’t willing to stop until he saw the rawest form of this boy who confused him and interested him simultaneously.

B turned around and his face was like L usually appeared when he was played innocent, except Beyond’s eyes held more frustration and tell tale emotion, he let his handfuls of hair go and it fell around his slender face, L noticed how it flicked out naturally, much like his own hair…he could feel the Beyond he disliked coming on, the fake.

“Right…we…you and I, L…me and you…we…us…you…I…that’s we…” B trailed off and laughed a little, “…you don’t…you just can’t…under…st…”

L just stared at him with wide eyes and he held the towel up when he heard B’s teeth chatter, he walked over and placed it over his shoulders having ignored the unsettling babbling,

“You’re cold…” L said again only distantly this time, returning to his mask and shell, “…it is unwise to remain wet, I would not like to be questioned for you getting ill.”

Business like…formal…backward…Beyond felt himself getting pissy just listening to L’s tone become more and more monotone and off hand, like in the beginning when he was just’ humoring’ Beyond after their first meeting.

The shock had obviously worn off for L, B realized that every time L went away he had time to gather himself, his thoughts, analyze Beyond’s actions and assume control over the situation. All of B’s hard work and time spent was wasted whenever L left him…was that it, or did it just need a jump start?

He roughly rubbed his hair dry with the towel and stared at the ground, trying to figure it out while not looking at L nearby, surely all of it wasn’t wasted, L had come here and approached him earlier with the relaxed manner Beyond had last experienced so it wasn’t gone, L was just…what…testing Beyond?

L had decided that Beyond had matured since he’d been gone, like he had had time to see the situation from an external point of view, B had too and obviously this had developed into something far more…complicated in Beyond’s mind in the time he’d been gone.

‘Miss you too much’

‘We’

It sounded like Beyond had become both dependent as well as forged a relationship with L in his head…he felt a tingle start to crawl up his spine as he watched Beyond rub harshly at his hair.

It was his fault…he overlooked…he avoided… he allowed …he accepted… he encouraged …he liked…Beyond.

All of the things he had realized and gone over time and time again in his head like a mantra for his sanity and clarity on where he stood.

He should have taken into account the fact that Beyond showed signs of mental instability from the beginning…overlook…avoid…allow…so on and so forth…

L blinked when Beyond turned to look at him,

“Would you like to play chess?” he asked without any enthusiasm and outside was the first thunder roll L had heard all day.

“No…” L responded with an equally dull tone.

The room got darker and the rain came down harder outside and Beyond seemed to relax a little,

“Can I get you tea then?” he was trying to be more pleasant.

“No, thank you.” L declined.

Beyond scratched his chest absently, and he placed his hand flat on his chest when he remembered he wasn’t wearing a shirt,

“I have to go and change.”

L’s hair was still dripping wet onto his neck and he had a delayed shiver from the cold when Beyond moved toward the door,

“I missed you as well Beyond…” he mumbled as he watched the other and touched the back of his hair to fidget, feeling the water sticking to his hand…he saw Beyond stop, “…perhaps when you return we can reconsider having tea.” He suggested also attempting to be more pleasant.

…overlook.

Beyond turned around and stiffly shoved a hand into his pocket that was stuck and wet,

“Yea…that’d be good.” His tone was not as dark and laced with frustration and L sensed the tension practically disappear completely just by those words. In the silence he watched a tiny smirk form on B’s lips, “…did you come because of A?” it was asked smugly and with confidence, so certain he’d not be confronted by L or ratted out by A.

“No…” L answered rather quickly, he didn’t want to think about the boy who smelled so sickly.

…avoid.

“…I actually came here to see you, I had hoped for the weather here to be better since there are more activities we could have done outside together.”

“Really…more to do outside…I suppose.” B said off handedly and didn’t sound convinced, “…there are many things we could do inside…together…you know…besides battl’-chess.” He joked with that cute lopsided smile L liked and the accent that he’d missed hearing, brushing the topic of A aside easily.

L felt his face get ever so slightly hot before he started to fidget with the cold material of his shirt.

…allow.

“Let’s please not go there…not after what’s happened before.” He tried to sound stern but he knew Beyond was feeling better and bolder just by seeing the sweet smile on his face,

“You said next time.” He informed with a raised digit which he waved at L.

“No, I believe you did…” he averted his gaze and silently stared at the rain beaten window pane.

“Does it matta’….I was right, yea…?” the confidence was appealing to L and even though he could have steadily told B that it would never happen again…

…accept.

“I’d prefer if you weren’t so forward about it.”

…encourage.

L didn’t even let himself think this time, preferring to accept his previous musings about his idea’s and feelings toward Beyond and to let them happen, no repercussions.

Beyond walked closer,

“Tha’s definitely notta’ no…” he held L’s shoulders but was pushed away firmly,

“I think it should be clear that we are not a boy and girl fraternizing, we cannot approach this so casually, it won’t be that simple.”

“Rules huh…wha’…no touching you?” he quirked an eyebrow as he took L’s words as a challenge.

“You don’t touch me as it is, so why should you start now?”

Beyond rand his hands from L’s shoulders upward to grasp his neck and the back of his head, his long fingers sliding into L’s dripping wet hair.

“Wha’ about when no one’s lookin’?” he leaned closer and L grabbed his wrists and pulled back as much as he could,

“What are you doing…?”

“I…don’t know…” came the strangely amusing reply.

Awkward silence…much like the last time they had been this close and L knew what he’d expected to happen and B knew what he’d been going for, but neither of them were used to it and even after the first time it seemed weird.

L did a strange thing right then and he laughed very shortly and quietly and Beyond’s entire expression became one of concentrated interest as he listened to it, L laughed and it was the most unusual sounds having never heard it before.

“I want to…” B started but didn’t finish and L was startled when B licked his face from his chin and over his lower lip…it had to start somewhere but it all just felt so strange to be standing in this room alone and…being licked, as B did it again L made a muffled noise of irritation when he felt the wet warm appendage run across his mouth and he pulled away,

“Stop licking me…” he said with frustration and yet still apathy laced in his voice.

“Do it back…” B said in a bit of a hurry and L frowned, letting his face contort into a genuine expression of disapproval,

“I will not lick you…”

“Open your mouth…” B said in a demanding tone.

…like.

It was strange but L did as B told and just like the last time, B’s tongue slipping into his mouth was both foreign and very sensational to his body at the same time, he hadn’t really wanted this again but then again, he had. B was still holding his face, quite tightly as if he would not let L move, L kept his mouth open and he kept his eyes on B’s face, and it looked very odd being so close and squinting that way.

“…hm…” L made a noise of protest when it became too much again but B gripped his face tighter and tilted L’s head to the side like L had done the last time, making their mouth’s mesh better and B bit at L’s lower lip several times before L mumbled for him to stop it.

At that point they broke apart and L still had an expression on his face that suggested that was awful…B really hadn’t a handle on his actions and it would take some getting used to. L brought his wet sleeve up to his face and wiped his mouth and he looked at B who was still holding L’s shoulders.

“I’m not done.”

L grabbed B’s shoulders to try to stop him just as B grabbed him and flung his weight at L and they tumbled to the floor with a noisy thud, L grabbed at skin but B was heavier and he managed to find L’s mouth again which he licked at, his hands grabbing L’s hair and he felt L’s hands stop gripping his skin after a moment of struggling.

So he let up a bit but kept his face close,

“You’re not doing anything.” He informed and leaned above L on his elbows, L’s hands loosely resting on B’s sides close to his waist,

“What do you expect me to do?” L asked a little huffily and the smell of B’s skin was extremely noticeable and pleasant in the close proximity.

“Kiss me back.”

Kiss…that was the first time the word had been said between them and it stuck in L’s mind as his eyes widened and he blushed suddenly, everything becoming more pronounced around, the fact that B was lying flush on top of him and that B’s skin was on his stomach which meant his shirt had ridden up, he realized he was not in control and when he noted that he suddenly felt a problem arising in his jeans.

“I like this.” B breathed against L’s mouth.

“I don’t.” L said back.

“You’re lying…” B stated and there was excitement in his voice.

L was lying.

“Get off me.” L said but he didn’t sound very certain.

“Kiss me back…” B started licking again and that time L found letting B’s mouth on his was becoming easier and more pleasant…and rougher.

B’s hands moved from L’s wet hair and he grabbed L’s forehead and the side of his face, turning L’s head sideways to accommodate his mouth and L felt B’s tongue moving as far into his mouth as it could go. L gripped one of B’s arms and also dug his nails into B’s side as well, forcing his tongue back at Beyond and before he knew it, he was no longer watching B’s face and his eyes closed.

He didn’t think of anything for as many minutes as they lied there, every now and then struggling involuntarily when Beyond roughly pulled his hair, their breathing was deep through their noses and L was for the first time in his life not thinking of anything except B’s mouth on his and B’s hair tickling his face, vaguely hearing the occasional and rather embarrassing smacking sound that kissing made and the sound of swallowing in between their kissing.

Beyond started laughing a little creepily as he separated from L’s mouth after a long while, catching his breath as well,

“I like this…” he nipped L’s mouth again while smiling very broadly and L‘s grey eyes opened slowly, he was extremely dazed.

L said nothing and he let B nip at his mouth, it was slightly sore every time B’s teeth raked over his pale already swollen lips but he remained silent, lying beneath B’s weight contented to be submissive,

Beyond was running his wet fingers over L’s hot neck and he seemed to be on a cloud 9 of his own,

“I want-“

A knock sounded on L’s door and B’s words were cut off, L blinked lazily and rolled his head over to the side to stare at the shadow of feet under his door, his hair still sticking to his face,

“Yes?” his voice was loud in the silence and very steady surprisingly compared to how jelly like his limbs felt.

“Someone said they heard a commotion, sir is everything alright?” it was a voice L had heard before but couldn’t place and didn’t care to.

Beyond was licking L’s ear and it was a little sticky and warm, much like the first time they’d kissed. L raised a hand and brought it up to push B’s face off him a little,

“No I am fine.” He answered and B turned to watch beneath the door until the feet shadows left and the footsteps were heard far down the hall and then not at all.

Once they were sure no one was outside the door L looked up at B,

“I’m uncomfortable.”

B sat up since he also needed to move and he sat next to L on the floor, he looked a bit upset now with what L said until he saw L’s legs bend upward as he was lying down and he very clearly adjusted his jeans so he’d be comfortable.

B snickered quietly and L looked at him dully but he wasn’t upset, he sat up slowly and brought one of his knees up to wrap his elbow around for balance.

It was still raining, still over cast and the weather was not going to let up and L sniffed before standing up slowly, his jeans still uncomfortable from the stiffness in his pants, B had the same problem but was content to sit and wait for it to go away, but that ridiculous grin had returned and so had L’s blush.

Why was he blushing? Was he really the only one feeling this way?

B was in control…so it made sense why L felt bashful; B had gotten it out of him…a kiss…a touch…a reaction.

L had liked it…

“I am going to dry off…you should go and change clothes so we can go to the kitchen for tea.” It started all over again and L was perfectly fine to do it that way…

“Alright…I’ll meet you down there.” Beyond stood up and stared straight at L, “…did I hurt you?” he asked as his smile faded but the excitement in his voice remained.

L didn’t understand why B was asking but his lip was stinging and his head was a little sore from the grip Beyond had had on his hair,

“…it’s fine…” L stated.

“You liked it?” B asked obviously hoping for a yes.

“I’ll see you in the kitchen…” L said quietly but paused and turned around to stare at B seriously for a second, “…you and I…would you say we are friends?” he asked the question he’d thought about earlier that day.

He wasn’t sure what he’d expected someone like Beyond to say, maybe just a bright and blissful yes because friendship meant closeness to most, but Beyond, who had been mulling over the fact that he knew L liked it when he was forceful, was pulled from his thoughts and his expression was close to disgust without really being,

“No…to me…friend is a filthy word…a nice name for those who you should consider your enemies. If you trust someone and like them then you don’t label them, they just are and that should count.”

It was another very strange thing that only Beyond knew how he came up with it…but as long as L understood that he and Beyond were not ‘friends’ but they just…were and it was important enough to them both, it was enough because truthfully, L didn’t need much more.

He nodded and disappeared into his bathroom quietly.

L stared at his reflection in his bathroom mirror and he listened to the door shut outside in his room, he had red marks all over his pale lips and even on his chin and his hair was both wet and even more out of place than usual, his cheeks a bright hue of red and since he was so pale it was noticeable all the way up to his ears.

“This is ridiculous.” He told himself as he reached for another towel from the rack Beyond had found one on and started drying his hair and neck and slowly but surely L’s blush became deeper and he smirked.

Sexual attraction to Beyond Birthday wasn’t that bad at all…even if it was painfully obvious that something in B’s psyche was very close to crazy, which would be just one more of the never ending things on L’s list to overlook…

That Evening

B stood in front of his mirror in his bedroom for more than the hundredth time in months, hair and face set in the mask of L that he’d mastered but his mind was on earlier, thinking of the flushed cheeks and bruised lips on that perfectly smooth and pale face of L.

B laughed purposely but it wasn’t his laugh, it was the laugh he’d heard earlier, but he couldn’t get it right…no matter how many times he tried, it had been too short and quiet and get right just yet.

B sighed and looked around the room, he was wearing his boxer shorts and T shirt since it was after 10 pm and he was to go to bed soon, L had left after 6 pm, once they’d had tea, L had let Quillsh know he’d be there after 7 and they’d sat in comfortable silence.

As always it had irked B to watch him leave but nothing could be done, L had to leave…although B hoped one day he would have the freedom to follow.

He sighed and looked over at the empty bed that was A’s, he hadn’t been back since Beyond had shoved his face against the mirror in the bathroom and told him to look at his miserable face close up, that was about a week ago. A was already on the verge of death physically and B had seen no further dropping of his lifespan no matter what he tried, so he figured he should let A get rid of himself…or whatever was supposed to happen on the faithful day in bright red letters and numbers floating above A’s head.

As he moved toward his bed and sat down B’s mind wandered again to earlier, it was becoming hard to even push it from his focus for a second and after having L respond so positively, so positively indeed… it left him aching. Beyond’s mind was entirely too open to idea’s because when he glanced at his reflection again and slowly shifted into his L position, legs close to his chest and his thumb coming up to his mouth he had an idea that bordered on disturbed.

He was definitely convincing as L, the only people not fooled would be L and himself, since he knew who he was and L liked Beyond…not the mimicry of ‘L’. And it was becoming easier for B to differentiate between his ‘L’ personality and himself, hence the reason being around L and being himself earlier had been so natural, once they broke the ice.

He stood up from his bed and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door and placing a flat palm against the mirror mounted on the wall in the bathroom, he stared at his reflection and little by little he worked up the feeling and Beyond let his hand slide into his boxers as a grin broke out over his face,

“Beyond…” he said his name in a deeper more tantalizing voice…L’s voice, “…Beyond…”

It would have to do…for now.

It has been done, I was so uncertain of the end bit, like, did anyone actually wanna read about B masturbating? I didn’t know so I just left it :] please RnR, I’d love ya all for it. I hope I’m still doing good!

If I’m not, let me know so I can tweak! Thanks :3