Disclaimer: In first chapter

Warnings: Very Adult Themes!!! Far more than have been prior to this. EXPLICIT YAOI - please don’t read if you don’t like this!!! I’m really graphic and realistic and detailed!!! Please HEED MY WARNING!

A/n: Hello Readers. I bring you Chapter 8 to the Beyond and L Era of Vitamin B, this is just the beginning and I hope you will stick around until the end. On another note...no pun intended, I wanted to mention that I have recently posted a crossover fanfic of Death Note and Beyblade. I thought I'd just tell readers that you dont have to know the anime's of Beyblade or Death Note to read this, its completely AU. The yaoi pairs are MattxMello and KaixTala. Check it out of you like.

.net/s/5382866/1/The_Loudest_Sound

Chapter Eight

- Lies , You are so much more than just human -

Unsteady breathing filled the quiet of the stark white bathroom followed by an uneasy groan that sounded irate and even exhausted. Beyond’s head made a dull thudding noise as he leaned forward and his forehead knocked against the reflective surface, he could not look at himself right then…not again, not after standing in this mirror so many times a day doing the same thing for so many weeks that by now he‘d lost count.

He was beginning to feel sick of himself…feeling sick of this insatiable need to see and be with L and having to substitute it with this…well, he didn’t know what to call it but it wasn’t pleasing, not anymore. He had his eyes closed and his head dipped, his hair was pressed against the mirror, sticking to it from the clammy air and hanging around his pale face, his muscles felt weak and his skin had a very light sheen of sweat over it. Under the harsh bathroom lights during the course of weeks he’d spent his time this way, Beyond had started to feel pathetic and overly bare, so he had started running hot bath water to fill the room with a warm steam prior to…well…

He opened his eyes slowly and his grey eyes settled on his hands, one was idling on his bare thigh and the other was loosely holding his erect length. He was hurting, the skin of his penis, the soft tissue and even his testicles hurt, it was ridiculous and had he known consistent masturbation could cause a sort of spasm to that area, then he might have paced himself all these weeks. In stead of sometimes 3 times a day, perhaps he would have did it just once a day.

He closed his fist slightly around himself, he was still hard and having been in the middle of a bout of need, he wasn’t sure he could let this one go.

His mind had wandered so far these days that he had been fantasizing of L in some very absurdly sexual scenario’s and it was so exciting that this had been a sufficient release, especially since he could glance at himself occasionally and moan his own name in L’s voice to help it along.

He began moving his hand long his length, the slightly bumpy and rough inside of his hand made the friction wonderful and he closed his eyes again, breathing a small uneven circle against the mirror when he moved his forehead up to look at himself.

“Aah…” he groaned and closed his fist a little more as he opened his eyes and he was about to smile when a dull throb pulsed at the base of his penis and he stopped moving.

He let go of himself and slammed both his palms flat against the mirror, growling in pure sexual frustration and misery,

“…L.” he said quietly and let his hand slide down the mirror, leaving a disturbing trail of pre cum in his right hands wake, bringing it to himself again and he touched himself gently, stroking slowly before using his full hand again. He started to go quicker and this time when he felt the dull throb he didn’t stop. It was pathetic a sight, a pale, white, shaking frame of a lonely boy as he used self gratification to keep his only need under control.

His legs wobbled and he leaned against the mirror, smiling now as he just let himself go and he pulled his hand forward, the thin skin in his hand sliding forward and backward easier as he came into his hand and some landed against the mirror, it smeared with his slower movements along his burning shaft. He clenched his teeth right afterward and turned around, pressing his back to the mirror and sliding downward with a sigh. That time was the worst of them all, it had become a task now, the climax wasn’t even enough anymore and as he felt his bare backside touch the cold tiles the rawness of the situation set in.

He looked down at the pitiful display of his mess and the pinkish slightly darkened skin of his softening erection, he had bruised himself and it was more than a little upsetting, he couldn’t go on this way. He quietly decided he would not be doing this anymore…for a while. He leaned forward and grabbed a hold of his boxer shorts on the floor to wipe his hands on and he was reminded of L without even provoking the thought. He rubbed his fingers harshly into the cotton and wiped them clean of the sticky mess, he sat hunched over, lips together tightly as he breathed through his nose in deep huffs.

He got to his feet and leaned over to drop the shorts into the hamper in the bathroom, now was the process of washing himself…it started to feel dirtier each time and he only wished he no longer had to suffer this. What he wanted exactly wasn’t overly clear, but he knew it had to do with actually having L there and not his own twisted reflection. Beyond actually no longer thought he looked like L at all…he hated himself a little more every time he was forced to moan his own name.

He didn’t realize how heavily he was breathing as he stood staring at his reflection from the side, deep hate reflected in his grey eyes. Beyond let his eyes trail upward to his name…floating…above…his head…

B e y o n d B i r t h d a y

Interesting as it seemed, he’d spent many days staring at his name, like he’d never been able to with L, because if L saw him staring he usually asked what Beyond was thinking about and it could not be answered fluently otherwise, so he usually just shrugged and didn’t answer. L had such a pretty name…it was so suited to his appearance and he’d bet anything that there hadn’t been a person to ever tell L what a pretty last name he had, what a unique first…initial and name he had. Beyond stopped loathing himself long enough to love the fact that he could see names above peoples heads.

L’s lifespan made him happy as well, it was well into L’s later years when he would die, Beyond assumed being 60+ meant L would die of gradual stress illness or something. He moved into the bath tub and brought his legs up to his chest as he leaned his cheek against his knees, the hot water burning the underside of his bottom and upper thighs , his pale skin flushing a bit pink from the warmth.

He remembered when he’d first understood those numbers…someone had passed through the orphanage with numbers that Beyond recognized to be rather low…the very next day they had a ‘moment of silence’ in their early morning classes, for the boy who passed away just that morning. Being a genius, he didn’t need to wreck his brain to understand, and having memorized the numbers from that day before…Beyond had worked out how to read it.

He eventually started bathing himself, running more hot water and just letting it swirl around himself, the black hairs on his teenage legs shifting as the water moved from the opened gush coming from the taps, he trained his eyes on the little things sometimes, it helped him calm down. He often found that when he let himself get worked up, he felt prone to do something irrational, but he wouldn’t speak of it to anyone, no one needed to know that he had a few control issues. He took the cake of soap to his skin, lathering a thick layer over each of his parts, washing thoroughly and passing more than an hour as he did so.

When he eventually stood from the bath, the water a murky color from the over dense soapy texture, he was feeling better. He had been sure he wasn’t going to masturbate again, he was somehow even more sure that when he next had a sexual encounter…it would end with L moaning his name…for real.

Beyond used a spare towel to wipe the mess from the mirror as he smirked to himself…yes indeed, it would be L.

Months Later

Some time had passed…quite a bit in fact and Beyond had spent most of the time in the current

week in his room. Avoiding L. He sat on the window sill in his room, a knife in his hand which he harshly stuck into the wooden window frame at steady intervals…taking small chunks of the wood away underneath the applied force of his hand.

An apple core lay on the window sill near his one foot which was on the sill, his knee leaning against the window pane and his toes tensing every time he drove the knife sharply into the wood.

The apple remnants were dried to the knife now, as the wood splinters stuck to the sticky surface, all he could see was the knife and feel the wood crack under each sharp stab. He heard loud giggles outside of the window and averted his eyes to the gathering of girls in the yard, though there were not many females in this institute, Beyond thought still that there were too many.

Watching them giggle and snicker made him think they were all empty in their heads, they were all dressed up as if they were going somewhere, probably to a mall or something, they were the older girls and where allowed to go out when chaperoned by one of the staff members. It was all so trivial, but the trivial things kept him from going over the edge, so he focused on them as he stuck the knife into the wood, damaging it badly as he did so.

When the giggling became too much he slammed his fist to the window pane harshly, causing it to actually crack slightly and the girls made a small shouting sound of fright, looking up to see one floor above the ground, Beyond, who was notorious for his moods, sitting and glaring at them.

They moved away quickly and Beyond knew they were probably saying bad things, but he didn’t care, he instead dropped the knife onto the floor and brought his thin hand up to touch the crack on the window pane, pressing his fingers against it hard hoping to push it to crack more…instead it merely left a tiny paper like cut under the soft pad of his index finger.

It seemed the day was just full of excitement because not long after he’d scared the girls away, the noise of running footsteps in the hall outside his door keened his interest. He got up, leaving the knife on the floor as he stepped passed it and walked to the door, swinging it open he watched the older boys and younger boys rush to the stairs.

He left his room, wearing a faded blue jeans and a grey T shirt, Beyond walked after the other kids, he wore shoes so he didn’t mind going outside.

Reaching the stairs, he vaguely glanced at the stair case leading up…L was up there…but Beyond didn’t want to see him, not while he felt so tense.

He didn’t want to fight with L, not when he was leaving soon…the 5 of August was his parting date…the very next day, he’d be leaving Wammy’s and returning, L had said, was not a sure thing any time too soon.

Beyond was at the ground floor before he knew it and he followed the stragglers outside, stepping into the yard.

He didn’t move passed there as he could see clearly from the doorway, the stairs keeping him above heads, a few meters away on the grass, two boys were fighting. B only stayed because he identified A as one of them fighting, it almost seemed a pattern lately.

Someone was tossed through the crowd and they spread, A jumped quickly on top of the boy, B didn’t care who it was, but he saw A very focused as he threw his inexperienced fists widely at the other boy, hitting him while making loud angered shouts. It was clear Ashley was not in his right frame of mind right then, being pushed over the edge made him become wild as he hit the boy, some blood became visible on A’s hands as he raised them, now even slapping the boy below him and B noticed the struggling hands grabbing A’s shirt was slackening. He was about to move closer to see the rage on A’s face…and more importantly the look of horrible shock when he realized what he’d done.

But he stopped when two teachers rushed from the doors behind him, half pushing him out of the way to get to the fighting boys, A was harshly pulled from the other child and the teacher slapped him hard when he refused to stop grunting and kicking and screaming. It was about all the climax they would experience as he watched A start to cry when the teachers lifted the other crying boy up and fussed about his beaten face. All the excited shouting died down and the kids, like the vultures they are with nothing left to pick at, left A standing there in his own morbid misery.

Beyond stared at him across the distance, not even looking at anyone passing him or the teachers taking the beaten child inside.

He started walking…his feet moving slowly and he could hear the grass crushing under his shoes as he approached the blonde boy, who had blood drops very slightly on his face and his lips were swollen, since he was worrying them with his teeth as tears spilled from his blue eyes. Beyond loved it, his eyes only widened the more of the sight he was able to absorb.

He came to stand about a foot away, Ashley was a little shorter than him and he wiped his face of expression, staring apathetically at his peer, Ashley was looking at him but also through him while he sniffled and shook like the pathetic child he was.

Ashley’s bright yellow shirt was stained with dirt and grass and while he had picked up weight in the passed months, he still looked far thinner than he once had. His blonde hair was at his jaw by this time and it was splayed roughly over his face, sticking to the blood on his face and some of the spit he’d managed to get out when he was screaming, he looked quite a mess.

Beyond reached out and grabbed A’s shoulder making the boy start and pull away, it truly looked liked he’d only just noticed Beyond standing there because his eyes were wide with newly lit fear.

“…B…what…” he started but was silenced when Beyond grabbed him again and when Ashley whimpered in fright, he laughed and shoved A backwards so he stumbled and fell.

Ashley curled up into himself, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them as he started to cry loudly.

“Why don’t you just do it already.” Beyond commented and turned to walk away.

Ashley raised his head, his blue eyes burning with misery as he watched Beyond walk away,

“Do…” his lip shook as he inhaled trying to calm his speech, “…do…what?”

Beyond stopped and he let his eyes move to the corner of his sockets, he still couldn’t see Ashley but he felt like he would start grinning uncontrollably guessing the expression on the others face,

“I was just speaking out of turn.” he said casually, since he’d noticed over the months that A’s lifespan refused to get any shorter.

He continued to walk away and he heard A shout,

“Do what B? Huh…answer me!” he shouted and Beyond ignored him, trying to figure out what he might do for the rest of the afternoon but deep down he knew he wouldn’t be able to stay away from L very much longer…a need inside him was becoming worse by the second.

“…what!”

Beyond felt himself tackled just as he again heard the shouting and he landed very hard on the ground, winded instantly from landing on his chest and stomach, his entire front having connected harshly with the soil and he skidded, feeling what was obviously A’s body weight on him and A’s arms wrapped around his torso.

Beyond tried to breath and started coughing, his world a bit white with pain and he could feel a burning sensation on the lower half of his left cheek, obviously having been scraped against the ground. Ashley had really thrown all of his weight at B and it turned out it was enough to hurt and disable him monetarily as A had sat up and straddled B, trying with much effort to turn B over.

B flipped halfway over so his lower half was more on his side and he shoved A off him roughly when he saw the boy trying to lift his shaken and dirtied fist to hit B. A fell back and tried to get back at B who simply scrambled back and to his feet making A land half way on the ground, his hands gripping at the grass and mud angrily, scrapes from the soil when he’d tackled B bleeding and likely burning from the sand getting into them on his hands.

Beyond stood still for a moment, intense anger coursing through his veins and he was unaware that he was flexing his hands, his fingers tingling and hot and his eyes wide. A was not much better, his blonde hair was sticking to the saliva and tears on his red face and his blue eyes burned with anger as well, his entire thin frame shaking with rage.

Beyond had a thought…it included a violent image of him stomping A’s skull in and watching his eyes bulge from his head…but something stopped him.

Something that he knew had to do with jeopardizing his situation here at Wammy’s, these people didn’t know anything about him and A, their confrontations, only L. And since L was mostly on his side he knew deep down that he had far too much to lose at this point. A was digging himself a grave day by day and Beyond found he wouldn’t let himself interfere.

A had gotten up and he looked away from Beyond, clearly coming to some sort of sense and he looked over his dirty appearance and felt the muck and dirt on his face.

Beyond sighed inaudibly and his face relaxed, he turned again and this time successfully walked away, his lips twitching with a scowl and the wonder of whether he would actually be the one to kill A eventually on that fateful day glowing temptingly above his retched head.

Inside, the halls were buzzing with children, all talking about a broken nose and a bloody fight. Beyond ignored them and made his way passed the stairwell, only just by a few feet before he stopped.

He grimaced internally as he felt like he might just go back and take his frustration out on A with the way he felt, even slapping the boy around would help at this point.

But he back stepped and let his head turn to stare up the pale grey flight of stairs which led to another floor and then one above held his prize…the one thing he both wanted so badly and was afraid to see. He started climbing the stairs though, without any hesitation and as he got up one level the noise was greatly dulled down and he became alll too aware of his footsteps, his sneakers squeaking against the stairs as he climbed.

He was about to stick his hands into his jeans pockets when he felt the sand on his palms and he dusted them absently against his jeans, only to see the dirt and grass stains on his jeans and then his shirt and then he realized the burning he felt on his face and he touched a brownish palm to it and winced at the grated skin, so slight but sandy.

He stopped in the middle of the second stairs and leaned against the wall, taking a moment in silence to calm down, leaning his head back as he swallowed slowly and breathed, closing his grey eyes in a certain amount of exhaustion. It was hard to be a genius and a potential psychopath all at once…this was not the thoughts of B exactly, he preferred not to acknowledge his mentally unstable side, but ultimately it was clear that with a mind as brilliant as his but as twisted, the actual lines of normalcy and wrong and right blurred.

Yet Beyond could tell them apart when he needed to, it would become easier for him to blame it on insanity when he decided not to tell them apart.

L had been undistracted recently, work had been his only objective because he knew he was leaving. He’d been at Wammy’s for a few days because this was where all of his personal affects, if they could be called such, were kept.

With three large suitcases lining the wall near the window and the small table, the only thing remaining was the standard furniture and the bed spread which L would not take, since L would be leaving the following morning only. Everything else was bare…everything was sterile clean and rid of any thing that had once smelled of him and been a part of him. L was taking himself away from Wammy’s and he was pleased about it, he was 17 and soon when he turned 18 there would be nothing left to tie him to the ‘stigma’ of a child.

He was in a very good mood, it wasn’t visible on his face since he looked quite bored and uninterested in everything, as he usually did, but other wise, he was happy.

He tipped his head to the side and tried to sit up straight and stretch, he had both his feet on the ground and had been hunching over his lap top with his bad posture, it made his back far more pained than when he usually had his legs to his chest, but he ignored it and heard his body snapping softly at his joints as he stretched, his thin arms covered by his white sleeves reaching high over his head.

He brought himself back into a hunch and as he lifted his coffee cup, bringing one leg up out of habit and he rested his chin on it, sipping from the steaming cup generously and the sticky sweet liquid brought a small smile to his lips. He sipped further and when he heard a knock on his door he swung very slightly in the direction of the door in his computer chair and then back again and again in the opposite direction, falling into a swinging motion using his bare foot on the floor.

“Come in.” he said dully and watched steam rise from his cup as he held it to his lips, feeling the heat leaving vapor on his face. The door opened and L’s eyes slid over to the guest he had, Beyond stepping inside quietly and closing the door with almost no noise.

L watched him as he sipped the coffee again, bringing the swinging to stop as he faced Beyond on his computer chair,

“I had expected you sooner…” he admitted blankly and sipped his coffee again, loudly slurping as Beyond’s grey eyes caught his own in an open eyed stare.

He didn’t say anything and instead he glanced around the room at how bare it was, the bags obvious against the white walls made his stomach lurch a bit, he didn’t step any further into the room.

L’s eyes relaxed to a more normal size as he saw Beyond looking around and he removed his cup from his mouth and placed it down on the desk,

“Your clothes are dirty.” he was ever one to point out the obvious.

Again Beyond said nothing, giving his clothes a half interested once over and then he looked at L, who looked so calm and collected, his hair spread about his head and pale face, he’d grown, it was obvious, his face a bit slimmer and those oval eyes of his even more slight and soft looking.

L’s lips were red from the hot coffee and slightly wet from the liquid, it engaged Beyond’s mind so easily and left him thinking of the painful passed months. L stared back at him and he saw what was clearly a bitter look on Beyond’s face.

L thought it was funny how when he went away, Beyond seemed to lose focus of their situation, but when L had time alone, he seemed to grasp the whole thing so much easier.

He felt confident and easy going around Beyond now, their situation was ridiculous, the exceptions, touching, kissing and all the extra random things that occurred, and yet L had come to understand it, perhaps because he was holding all the cards…he was walking away, going and coming as he so pleased, whereas Beyond was left in place…waiting for him.

“Were you busy?” Beyond finally asked as his eyes fell on L’s laptop.

“No…I was not…” L answered simply and brought a hand to rest on his knee so he could chew at his thumb nail, his slim fingers tapping his knee as he watched Beyond.

Beyond looked away from L, he was so angry that L was leaving he simply could not relax.

“Are you mad at me?” L asked knowingly when Beyond again looked away and eyed the room.

“Yes.” came the short and sure response.

“Because I’m leaving?” L didn’t miss a beat.

“When will you come back?”

“In a few years…I have no business here.” he answered honestly.

Beyond wasn’t supposed to be offended, many times he’d reminded himself that L was callous and rude and candid and he didn’t tell half truths, whole lies probably, but when he told the truth, it was the whole hateful, honest and hurtful truth just as his lies were.

Years.

When Beyond said nothing L sighed and turned his chair back to the lap top, dropping his leg again, he took his mouse in his hand and started clicking closed the multiple windows he had had opened. Until he finally had everything closed and he shut down. The screen dropping to black after a moment and L noticed then in the reflection of his LCD monitor than Beyond stood right behind him.

He turned half way around and looked up at Beyond, seeing his grey eyes staring him down and the sad expression on his face didn’t really visibly affect L, but it did affect him, he looked away and found himself staring at a patch of dirt on Beyond’s grey shirt, mid torso,

“Where you in a fight?” he asked having now up close seen the red scratches on B’s chin.

He was mildly surprised when Beyond kneeled down in front of him and buried his face against L’s stomach, his hands wrapping slyly around L’s waist as he rested between L’s jeans clad legs. L blinked down at the back of Beyond’s head and after a moment he brought his hands up and ran them through Beyond’s hair slowly, playing with the soft hair, which didn’t have a particular scent today and rather smelled of… well, hair, still it was Beyond’s body scented hair, a person’s own smell that was comforting.

“You don’t want to answer my questions.”

Beyond pulled back slightly and laid his face to the side, so L could see part of his face as he laid against L’s stomach, L leaning back slightly in the computer chair,

“Your questions are irrelevant and you don’t care to know the answers…” he mumbled, quietly smelling L as he was against him.

“I do, I wish to know why your face is hurt…” L piped up just audibly as he stared down at Beyond, the side of his face looking so soft aside from the scrape.

“When do you leave?”

L blinked,

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

Beyond’s arms shifted and L sat forward when they did because he anticipated him getting up, and he did, still on his knees however he looked at L, resting his forearms along L’s thighs,

“I’m not leaving then…” Beyond said in a manner L thought was childish.

“Well I give you permission to stay until later tonight…” L said with an odd smile on his lips and Beyond, while looking at L raised his eyebrows defiantly,

“Like you could stop me from staying.”

“Tch…” L sounded but he remained smiling even though Beyond didn’t, although he was happy L was being so nice to him and not playing the difficult act.

“I shall call Mr. Wammy and request fresh tea and perhaps scones, yes?” L said and tried to gesture that Beyond should move from between his legs but Beyond didn’t, he simply got up straight on his knees and pushed L back when he pressed his lips to L’s.

L pulled back and his hand came up to the base of B’s neck at his collar bone, B had barely got a taste when L pulled back and leaned back in the chair as Beyond was leaning forward,

“Beyond…” L said in a tone of scolding but B just offered him a small smile and blinked his eyes a few times for effect, pressing against L’s hand slowly and again, pushing L’s boundary, however lax it was, as he closed the gap and had his head tipped just barely up to meet L’s mouth.

It seemed instinctual this time as L let B kiss him, opening his mouth a mere moment later when B’s mouth was over his, Beyond leaning against his legs and L’s eyes slid closed.

It all came streaming back to him in a moment, the kiss they’d last shared and how the sensations of it left him reeling, and so now he pressed into the kiss slightly as well and let B have his tongue to suck on, Beyond seemed to experiment with his mouth even now, still learning how to best go about this business as he tilted his head a bit then straightened it again, bringing their noses to brush and Beyond pulling back, briefly if only to take a short breath and tackle L’s mouth with his head tilted the other way.

L’s hands had settled gently on B’s shoulders as he kissed down to B, who was still leaning on his legs.

L then pulled back when B stopped to breath and when B tried to initiate it again L stopped him with his hands on B’s shoulders,

“We cannot continue, it is day time, anyone can come up here and in this state it would be most inappropriate.”

“I don’t care…” Beyond said harshly and his face turned to an irate expression.

L spared him a disapproving frown,

“You will be here later again once Quillsh busies himself with retiring to bed, perhaps we shall kiss again later.” he said very candidly but B wasn’t having it, the instantaneous erection he’d gotten in the beginning of the kiss was making him very tense,

“…but I need this, you cannot keep…denying me.” he kept his voice low as he narrowed his eyes at L, more or less close to eye level straight up on his knees.

“I have done no such thing…” L injected authority in his baritone voice as he held B’s shoulders firmly, “…if anything I have been increasingly lenient.” his expression was bitingly final.

B stayed silent as L stared at him, his mind racing with past sexual frustration and the passed months intense sexual fantasies.

L was startled very honestly when Beyond face met his crotch and he nuzzled against the mid erect bulge in L’s jeans, he yipped and jerked causing the chair to fall over and he fell to the floor sideways, Beyond moving the short distance and crawling between L’s legs, managing to get as far as L’s neck before L, with a strange smile on his face, got one flexible and long leg between them, using his knee to push B off him roughly and then L rolled over and stood up quickly since Beyond was about to try again.

“You are pushing you’re luck.”

“It has nothing to do with luck.” Beyond responded confidently and kneeled back on his legs, looking up at L.

“Why do you misbehave, its so tiresome.” L said with apathy now and scratched his unruly hair while watching Beyond,

“Stop playing with me…I know your hardly as adverse to this as you’re pretending to be.”

“You’re assuming.”

“I’m certain.” Beyond broke into a grin that sent chills up L’s spine.

True, this game wouldn’t last much longer. There was no denying he reacted all to eagerly to Beyond’s sexual advances and both of them knew now that it was about sexual tension…there were no pretenses, L was just being stubborn.

But it raised the question…of what Beyond was intending, he seemed too confident to be talking about a few harmless snogging sessions.

A knock sounded again and L’s eyes closed and opened again looking just to his left at the door just a meter or more away,

“Didn’t I say I would be interrupted.” he stated for Beyond to hear and he heard Beyond smile rather than looked at him doing so.

L was sure that his jeans were not pressured and with a glance at Beyond still kneeling near the chair, he confirmed the same of the other.

As L stepped toward the door, Beyond stopped smiling and reached over to lift the chair up, noting a soft ‘Thank You’ from L right before he opened the door.

“Mr. Wammy.” L greeted and opened the door wider so the old man could step in, he held files in his hands and seemed intent on speaking as he stepped in, that was until his eyes fell on Beyond.

It was odd for Quillsh to see, certainly, that Beyond was on his knees next to L’s computer chair which he could only assume L had been sitting in just before answering the door.

“I didn’t realize that Back Up was here.”

Instant tension fell in the room and Beyond’s congenial expression become one akin to malice, if only for a second. He didn’t know that L and Quillsh had had disagreements about L’s relations to him, so to be addressed to coldly and with that name made his skin crawl.

L didn’t seem phased, but then he never did seem bothered by anything,

“Yes, I’ll be keeping B’s company until tonight whenever I decide to sleep.” he answered and Beyond saw Quillsh’s chin set in disapproval,

“Very well, I’ll only need just a moment of your time right now and then I will leave you for the rest of the evening.” he said since it was after 4 pm.

L nodded and Quillsh added stiffly,

“In private.”

At this L nodded again,

“Let us step outside then.”

Beyond watched with narrowed grey eyes, glowing intently with a different hint of color as he willed Quillsh Wammy to drop down dead, of course he had no such ability and the door closed him off quietly from L and the old man.

In the hall, Quillsh made an audible sigh to let L know this was not a pleasant situation, he hardly wanted to ask why Beyond had been on his knees and as an old man with a fatherly love for L, he also didn’t want to ask in case he found out more than he hoped to think of…ever. Since L was so brashly honest he was certain the answer might unsettle him and give him chest pains.

“I have the files of the new potential successors…” he began after a moment as he saw L staring at him blankly. When he said that however, L’s eyes lit up slightly, a light of enthusiasm,

“Tell me about them.” he enquired as he took the files in his thin hand.

“They have been in the respective Wammy’s institutes in their own birth countries, they are orphans of higher ability but had not been tested for this institute until this time, they have merely lived with the knowledge of the institute for gifted children here in London and been made aware they are exceptional after recent tests.” he told L briefly.

L knew that there were other intelligent children living in the various orphanages that Quillsh had established all over the world and only when they showed exceptional potential where they tested and if they were approved as the a part of the smaller ‘genius’ potential ratio, then they were moved to Wammy’s in Southern Winchester, England, to be trained and taught of the ‘L Code’ as it became known amongst the children.

It hadn’t been very many years of this, since L was the first and Ashley and Beyond were his primary and first ever attempts at successors. But Quillsh had always said that whether L ever needed a new successor or not, helping children who could potentially help the world, like L himself, would always be a responsibility for him.

But here at this particular orphanage, the most gifted would be brought in if L needed a new successor which was exactly what was happening now.

“They will come here and learn of my legacy?” L asked as he flipped the first file open, there were five files.

“No, they have actually been told of it, that L is affiliated with my orphanages, these children handle information like this quite maturely and I‘ve been told that for the most part, it‘s given a lot of children the incentive to strive since ‘L‘ as the worlds greatest detective is some sort of a super hero to them.” he said dully.

“Well…that is rather corny.” he smiled and Quillsh did as well.

“Mail…” he read the name, managing to pronounce it right the first time as ‘Mile’ and not the obvious, “…am I supposed to pick one?” L asked there after when he opened a second file on a boy named Enrique.

“Yes, these five tested highest over these passed months throughout all international orphanages.” he nodded as L looked at him.

“Ah…well…” L opened each file and read the test scores. Some showed drastic differences in all of the many fields they were tested in and some showed similar ones amongst the five children.

One stood out, leaving large test score gaps to the rest of them and L lifted it in his meticulous way and held it out to Quillsh who took it and opened it,

“Hm, I agree.”

“Focus on him…he will be the first choice, please…evaluate his psyche closely as well, I don’t wish to have a repeat of A…or B.” he glanced back at the door vaguely.

Quillsh managed a very absent look of sarcastic amusement and then he nodded,

“Yes, I intend to…this one is frighteningly similar to you already with his introverted habits, I had feared it was signs of developing autism as he becomes older and more intelligent but only time will tell, he is only six after all.” he said looking at the photo of the albino child, pale and wide eyed in the photograph, his hair awkward and unkempt sitting just above his ears.

L nodded and pulled the second file he’d decided on and then a third as well, holding them separate from the other two resting on his arm,

“Well it isn’t unlikely with test scores like that at 6.”

“It’s far lower than yours were.” he commented.

“Hm…” L sounded and Quillsh just brushed it off as well.

L had been the exception to the general idea of intelligence crippling the mind. If a child or person was too advanced he was usually practically incapable of functioning, the higher brain function outside of the usual ten percent, usually left people with autism or disabled.

However there were people who had a balance, like A and B…and this new child and the other four in the files. They had intelligence which balanced out and yes, it left lots of room for them to become crazy or become dysfunctional and disabled, but it was a risk that could often be overcome with proper teaching and managing of their gifts of intelligence.

L on the other hand had changed that…with an IQ at 5 that had quite literally been unthinkable, the only thing Quillsh found odd about L at that age was that the boy didn’t sleep, or rather, he couldn’t sleep. Quillsh had asked L once when he was older, why L found that sleeping wasn’t easy…L never answered.

But how to sleep…when your mind constantly runs calculations and processes things that a person of even above average intelligence couldn’t begin to comprehend…

L could be anything…quite literally…but Quillsh had chosen this for him and even though it was hardly a task most days for L…it was not too time and life consuming but still a way of helping humanity…also it satiated L’s curious mind as a child and had grown in a pleasant career.

“Let’s have him second…“ he gave Quillsh the second file, “…of course he should be monitored as well, for both lapses in sanity and for the notes on his temper…tantrums at 7 isn’t unheard of, but it says ‘severe tendency to harm other children’.” L sighed and his eyes widened in momentary thought, “…if he cannot be controlled or tamed in any way that doesn‘t include medication, then he must be taken out of consideration…” he raised the third file,

“And for this reason…I think we’ll take a safe guard this time.”

Quillsh took the third file,

“A third option?”

“Yes, the third one is a few points below the German child in certain area’s and then far behind in others…but in 2 area’s…the more defined and specific and technical area’s, he has exceptional scores, he also seems to have a balanced personality…which is rather suspicious and I think he should be monitored closely…he may develop any sort of disorder as he gets older.” L was pointing at the file that Quillsh now held.

“Yes…I will have them all seen to very closely. I think you’ve made good decisions.” he took the extra files from L and placed them under his arm as he held the prioritized three separately.

“Once we’re in America later this week, I shall have made arrangements to have them sent to London. I may come back to see them, do you think you might like to?”

L didn’t hesitate,

“No…I believe the less interaction I have with them, the more likely they are to succeed.” he said honestly and then gave Quillsh a serious look, “…I think that if I remain a faceless super hero…then I can never disappoint them or make them lose sight of the goal of ‘L’.”

“Like Beyond.”

L let that statement linger and without an answer he made to turn around, his hand falling on the door handle and then he was still,

“Thank you Mr. Wammy, lets get it right this time, yes?”

“Yes.” the old man nodded and took his leave, walking elegantly and quietly away, leaving L to re enter the room.

L opened the door then stopped when a thought occurred to him and he closed it again and turned to watch Quillsh walking away,

“Mr. Wammy…” he called.

Beyond had remained on the floor for about a minute, he couldn’t hear anything as all of the doors in Wammy’s were very thick wood. Not that he was overly interested, he assumed it was either some case or the other, possibly even to do with the words ’back Up’ were still ringing in his ears…all of these names, who gave these people rights to giving someone else a name, who gave a parent the right to name a child…why couldn’t they make their own decisions…it was a childish notion, one derived from the bitterness of being called those cold words…like he was not a person but an object.

He had stood up and moved into L’s bathroom, not closing the door as he just wanted to assess the scrape still slightly burning on his chin. He stood in front of the mirror, opening the cold tap and rinsing his hands as he looked away from his reflection…his name bobbing above his head whenever he looked at himself now made him irate.

After washing his hands he bent over and started rinsing his chin with small handfuls of cold water, rubbing the sore flesh slightly, trying to take his mind off the words…the name.

Beyond Birthday…was that his name? Its not as if he’d chosen it, it was just what he was told his name was since before he ever came here…

Ryuzaki…that was his own random concoction, there had been no real reason for choosing it other than that he liked it, having just learned Japanese fluently in his classes and tested it by browsing Japanese websites, he’d come across it by some reference and taken it as an alias…because L had an alias…even if ’L’ wasn’t really an alias since it was actually his name…no one knew that, he’d even thought vaguely at one stage that he should choose a last name to match Ryuzaki…but he’d yet to do so.

And then there was Back Up…it was vile and there was no explanation for it other than a gruesome lack of kindness…

Beyond stood up from rinsing his face and realized there were no towels in L’s bathroom, so he resigned himself to finding a clean patch of his shirt and wiping his chin, his eyes meeting his reflection again when he lifted his shirt and he paused…his eyes wide and he stared at his red eyes…faint but visible and the above.

Beyond released the piece of his shirt leaving a wet crease line as it fell back down and he touched both his hands to the mirror, his eyes rising as he leaned closely to his reflection and stared above his head…nothing.

His name…had disappeared…it was simply a red glow of nothing now, he’d never been able to see numbers above his head so there was nothing, a choked laugh escaped his lips as his eyes were rolled quite far up in his head…they closed and he pressed his forehead to the mirror and he grinned,

“Does this mean…I am a man who decides my own name as I wish.” he laughed short and gleeful again and then he heard the door open and he stepped back from the mirror and touched his damp chin absently, he glanced at his reflection a final time to make sure his name was not there…and it wasn’t.

Beyond heard the door close and left the bathroom.

Quillsh turned around and looked at L, who was standing with his hand on the door but it was closed and he was waiting for him, so Quillsh turned and walked back slowly,

“What is it?” he asked softly seeing a wide eyed but noticeably concerned expression on L’s pale face,

“I think perhaps this time…we should select names that are not as callous as the previous…Alpha and Back Up are rather offensive and I think it creates a certain amount of…grievances with the children involved.”

Quillsh knew L was referring more specifically to when he had called Beyond by his original Wammy alias, before he became known as just B.

“Very well, its agreeable, perhaps regular but fake names will be better.”

“Not too regular.” L chimed in with a tip of his head and he raised a hand to his mouth, “…we don’t want them thinking they’re John’s and Bob’s.” L said with notable distaste.

Quillsh smiled with amusement,

“Well, I’ll dust off my old imagination.”

L smiled in his odd way and nodded,

“Yes…I think you’ll come up with something suitable.”

“Of course…good afternoon L.”

L said nothing as Quillsh walked away and he opened the door again, stepping in to find Beyond sitting on the bed now.

“Thank you for your patience.” L commented and walked to the bed, passed his cold half cup of coffee at his desk and around to stand a few feet from Beyond, so he could see his face.

“It was no problem, I had some time to…” not wanting to admit being riled up by the pathetic name, “…clean up my face.” he looked at L as he leaned over, elbows on his knees.

L looked around the room,“We should go outside…the weather is more favorable to the outdoors than it has been in a few days…” he said noting the sun was not visible, but it wasn’t looked at the floor, “Alright…” he said simply, not feeling like disagreeing with L right now and spoiling his better mood.

After about an hour walking outside, it was more than enough time spent outside for L by far, they made their way in through the kitchen doors, L smiling vaguely at the kitchen staff who had no clue who he actually was but greeted him as they would any person employed at the orphanage.

As they walked through the kicthen’s L had back stepped making Beyond frown and follow him, only to see L turn and walk to a large tray of freshly baked poppy seed muffins. He looked cautiously around the kitchen, seeing all the staff were busy off at the far side and he lifted two, dropping them back down when he realized they were hot and he frowned deeply at them.

Beyond watched him with a tilted head and found it amusing that a man who was frighteningly intelligent couldn’t find a solution to carrying hot muffins.

He walked up to L, lifting a small side plate from a rack of newly still warm washed dishes and he raised it in front of L’s saddened grey eyes.

L looked at him and smiled as Beyond lowered it and placed the two muffins onto it and then he took L’s wrist and walked him from the kitchen before they got caught taking tea time snacks.

Once they were out of the kitchens and in the teachers lounge, L took the saucer,

“Your so clever.” he teased.

Beyond sported one his cute smiles making L stare at him as they stood there,

“That’s why you keep me around, yea?” he teased back.

L blinked but said nothing and B watched, his eyebrows raising as L bit into one hot muffin without touching it.

Of course it was rewarding to observe for two reasons, one being that L was adoreable with warm moist muffin crumbs stuck to his mouth and the tip of his pointed noise and secondly because L’s made a cute face when it burned his mouth…but being the sweet lover he was, there was no chance he would spit it out.

B assisted by taking the plate as L slowly tried to get his burning mouth around the muffin bite and then giving the plate back with an indulgent smirk afterward, making L narrow his eyes at him.

It was a while later…after L had taken the time to let the muffin cool and then eaten it and allowed B time to eat the second one which B was surprised to find L had taken for him, they’d left the teachers lounge.

It was only just after six by this time and Beyond was anxious to be alone with L, every second he spent with the other boy made him feel just a bit happier and a bit more antsy at the same time.

So much time had passed over the years they’d spent together when L came and it felt like something needed to happen…because L was leaving for good and B was going to lose him.

“B…” L addressed him as a few kids walked by them, one or two looking at L with frowns since they recognized B who looked quite similar to L, but they didn‘t know who L was.

“Yes.” Beyond said as he watched the kids looking at them, thinking how utterly stupid they were for so called ’child geniuses’.

“Isn’t it dinner time now for all of you?”

“Hm…” B answered vaguely, seeing the kids taking a corner to the large eating room and L looked at him pointedly as he stopped at the turn off of the hall,

“You should eat something, I don’t have dinner when I can help it and I wont be eating tonight, so you should eat now and then you can return to my room afterward if you like.”

“I don’t want to…I’m not hungry.” he said shortly and stared at L seriously, not a hint of ’maybe’ in the set line of his pale mouth and L found his hands fiddling in his pockets, he was about to say okay when they both realized someone was coming their way and would need to pass, so the stepped aside but the person had stopped walking.

“Hello A.” L addressed him plainly, one hand finding its way from his pocket to his lips and he placed his index finger between his lips.

A looked between them and his eyes were sharp and quick to notice the clear differences between B and L now that they stood side by side, L’s face was actually quite different to B, almost less chiselled but still defined, their eyes while being similar grey, were actually very different tones and B was actually slightly taller and slightly noticeably bigger as well, his shoulders a bit broader and it was probable he weighed quite a bit more than L might, A even managed to notice that he himself was just about L’s height but thinner.

He’d never mistake B again…no…B was nothing like L.

“Sir.” A said haorsly and didn’t let his eyes linger on B at all, but he had to pass B to walk down the hall to the dinner hall, so for now he remained still.

L didn’t pay much mind to the fact that Beyond was practically sneering at the other teenager and he gave Ashley a long analyzing stare as he took a few steps closer, since he was hunched he appeared a bit shorter than the blonde,

“Your looking much better.” he told him as stared at the blue mark on A’s cheek, “…but you still have marks?” it was a question.

A hadn’t moved back, welcoming the warm presence and smell of L as he stood so close, but he did move when L pointed out his bruise and he averted his eyes,

“Yeah, I got into a fight with one of the children today.”

“Was B involved?”

Every hair on Ashley’s neck stood when L asked that question and he glanced at Beyond and cleared his throat,

“No Sir.”

“Again you lie.”

“I wasn’t fighting with him I swear!” he said urgently and stepped closer to L and then back again, nervous and frightened to be seen as a liar to L.

“I didn’t ask if you had fought with him.” L said dully.

A opened his mouth and then closed it again, replaying L’s words in his mind, it was true…L hadn’t asked if he had been fighting with B.

He calmed down and decided to just be honest,

“…yes sir, B was there and I was…a bit temperamental and started a small but brief scrap with him.” he met L’s stare with his blue eyes and he saw no shame or disapproval, he actually saw nothing.

“I see, well, I’d like it if you and B refrain from such behavior, it’ll only be bad for you both in the long run.”

“Yes, sir.”

Beyond scoffed and L ’s eyes dropped to the ground when he heard it, A watching L’s face intently, he still saw no expression and then L looked at him again,

“You are a brilliant child, you have incredible potential and I would like to see you again one day when I returm, perhaps you won’t be my successor…” L said honestly, “…but you will not be a statistic either.”

A was listening…he remembered L had basically told him before that he was out of the running for the ’L Code’ months before…but he only took note of L saying ‘when he returned one day‘. “Are you leaving again soon, sir?” he question and tucked his hair behind his ear, not noticing how Beyond was boring imaginary holes into his head as he glared at him, thinking of what a pathetic dead statistic Ashley would become.

“Yes…possibly for an indefinite time.” he answered shortly and made to turn around, Beyond twitched and A stepped forward.

He wrapped his arms around L’s neck, the back of L’s shoulder against his chest from the awkward angle and A clutched to him. L was stiff and his eyes were on Beyond, who looked infuriated by this, so angry that L almost sensed the desire radiating from Beyond to attack A, who was holding L quite softly and L could faintly hear his heightened, quick breathing against the back of his shirt and neck. He waited, not responding and a bit uncomfortable with the random unexpected physical contact and eventually A released L and stepped back, his head lowered and Beyond finally couldn’t contain himself and he stepped forward, shoving A in his chest and grabbing L’s wrist.

A watched with a slight frown and a hand to his chest as B roughly pulled L and then L fell into quick step with B as he was pulled along…L just…went along with B and then they were out of sight and he was left, with the last sight, smell and feel of L that he’d ever have the pleasure of experiencing.

The only sound that was present between L and B from the time they left the scene until they reached L’s bedroom door was the sound of L’s socks, B’s shoes and their jeans chafing material as they walked hurriedly, L’s eyes moving to look at B ever few steps as his wrist was held firmly by Beyond’s thin hand.

Once the door was opened, L walked inside and Beyond let his wrist go following him in, the door was shut and B’s hand easily found the key in the back of the door and he clicked it locked.

Then it was silent and L stared at him, seeing that Beyond was seething quietly he watched with a bit of interest and B mumbled something under his breath and then shook his head once or twice before his breathing started calming.

L decided Beyond was calming down and so he walked over to the bed and switched on the bedside lamp so there was some light, he scratched his arm absently, then moving over and pulling the curtains of his bedroom closed until he eventually stood and waited for Beyond to say something.

It was still early but it was dark outside.

“Are we done with walking around outside now?” Beyond said quietly and L blinked at him, raising a single thin black eyebrow,

“I suppose, shall I call for tea from the kitchen staff…perhaps something for you to ea-”

“No…” Beyond said firmly when L stepped toward the phone, “…I told you I’m not hungry.”

“Alright…what shall we do?” he asked but somewhere deep down he knew by the strained look that B was giving him, that B had something in mind. When he started walking over to L it wasn’t rushed and when B reached him it wasn’t rough, B grabbed his upper arms gently in his hands and held him like that as he kissed L’s mouth and then his cheeks and then his mouth again and L allowed him to.

He knew B had been waiting for this time alone and so he didn’t push him away, letting B have at his mouth every time his lips met L’s, kissing B back as much as he could with Beyond’s fleeting kisses. Their breathing had increased and L ‘s hand grabbed at B’s shirt for balance as Beyond started pushing him backward. He stopped this after a few steps and he pulled back and started taking off his shirt, L stared at him.

When Beyond grabbed him again and pushed him backward L was caught completely off guard and most of his weight landed on the bed his lower half slightly supported by his legs, he had nothing of Beyond to grab that time since he had taken his shirt off so he just fell backward and then tried to sit up.

Beyond kicked his shoes off easily and was left with socks and just like in one of his very intricately detailed fantasies, he crawled onto the bed and grabbed L’s jeans clad legs, bringing L right ways on the bed and then he tried to get back to kissing L, but wound up grappling with him for a moment, L’s hands pushing at his shoulder and his chest and he turned his face away and Beyond snapped…and hit his fists either side of L’s head, L faced him directly and his grey eyes now seemed to be an inky black, dark and narrowed.

“Why wont you let me…why do you play with me?”

“What are you trying to do?” L asked him straight up.

B sat up over L, one leg half way over L’s legs and he grabbed L’s jeans button harshly and started opening it, L grabbed his hands and Beyond smacked them away and then L smacked his hands away and Beyond grabbed his own head and breathed deeply and angrily.

There was silence and just their breathing, L underneath Beyond who was half way straddling him, Beyond grabbing fistfuls of his own hair, L staring up at him and watching his bare chest rise and fall,

“Your going to leave me tomorrow…wont you just let me…” he trailed off and L narrowed his eyes.

“Let you what, Beyond?” he asked.

“Let me…just let me…”

“What?”

“Have you! Damn it L, let me have you!” he had removed his hands and he stared at L with an open expression, his eyes revealing an urgent need and the creases in his frown showing need.

L stared up at him and he closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again, seeing Beyond staring at his chest absently, his eyes half lidded and his breathing calming down. L was tempted to ask what exactly Beyond meant by that…but he knew and like he had noted earlier, he could no longer play these games.

Sex…was the only way this could have gone ultimately.

So L resigned himself to it, even though he had no idea what homosexual sex would be like, he knew the basics of how to do it and he didn’t doubt that if B was this eager, he probably knew it as well, if not more. It wasn’t as if L had had any sort of sex before…so this was all knew, but he knew he enjoyed B’s closeness and so...this was…inevitable somehow.

Beyond saw that L was no longer struggling so he grabbed at L’s zipper now and tugged it down harshly, moving off of L so he could yank the jeans down his long pale legs, revealing his grey briefs and the dark black hairs on his legs. B tossed the jeans aside as he stared at L, noticing that L was not fighting him at all, he no longer needed to be so rough about it.

A small feeling of happiness welled in his chest as he straddled L’s half naked body again and he leaned down, his eyes meeting L and their breathes meeting as well and when he kissed L, L’s hands came up and slid into his hair as he kissed Beyond back.

It was sad in a way because B knew L was leaving and this was a parting gift of sorts, but it felt so incredibly good to be given this privilege…this power…this possession, L would be his after this.

He kissed L deeply, his tongue going as far into L’s mouth and tasting as much of him as possible, still only their breathing filled the silence of the room and the slight sounds of kissing.

Beyond sat up again and he saw L’s erection through his underwear, Beyond didn’t pretend to be bashful and he pulled the elastic up and over L’s length, it was rock hard and as it lay untouched, it was pink and engorged against his black pubic hair.

Beyond pulled L’s underwear down and then tossed it aside, he was comfortably between L‘s legs, he looked up to find L staring down at his own nudity.

Beyond then started reaching for L’s shirt, he wanted every piece of clothing off so he could see the expanse of pale skin, L helped him and eventually his shirt landed on the floor somewhere and L was naked, his grey eyes kept averted from Beyond as he leaned up on his elbows.

Beyond stared…for a long while, licking his lips a few times before he leaned down, to the point below L’s navel, his chin brushing the head of L’s erection and making L jerk slightly, when Beyond breathed his hot breath against his stomach, then he kissed, following the fine trail of hair below L’s navel and kissing occasionally upward until he came to L’s midsection and he breathed a happy ‘thank you’ which made L look at him with wide eyes.

Beyond sat up and when he looked at L, L looked away again, it irritated Beyond, but he was too focused on the hot stickiness inside his jeans and it was making him uncomfortable, he got to his knees and undid his jeans, he sensed L’s eyes on him as he moved to sit, lay, pull his jeans and underwear down and then toss it aside. L stared at Beyond’s naked body with no expression, just his eyes on the flesh, Beyond was another boy like him, it was nothing he couldn’t have guessed was there.

But he couldn’t have guessed how he would react to it as he felt his erection throb and shift with the rush of blood pulsing through it. Beyond sat up again and lay beside L, not catching L’s gaze as it was averted, he brought his hand up to turn L’s mouth to him, kissing him, uninterested in his tongue trailing over L’s lips as he kissed L’s whole mouth, not limited to only the inside, L frowning at this messy kissing that Beyond seemed to favor and while it seemed unpleasant, every second that it was happening, L felt the stickiness forming a small puddle against his lower stomach area.

He also became aware of the fact that B’s bare legs had moved and he felt them slide against his own, the roughness of the hair on their legs strangely felt absolutely wonderful as his skin tingled, feeling Beyond moving closer as they kissed. It went on that way for a while, then Beyond’s hand was suddenly on L’s stomach and then the cold fingers touched his hot erection and he was distracted from kissing, his eyes opening and looking at B’s fingers slowly taking hold of his length.

Beyond did what he might usually do to himself, wrapping his hand around L’s length and moving it up and down with a firm grip, watching L’s foreskin move backward and forward just barely in this erect tightened state, he could feel it throb in his hand as L stared at what he was doing, Beyond stared at his face and watched how L’s eyes were slowly closing at the friction.

He wondered if L had ever done this for himself and something immediately answered a ‘no’ because L wore a slight frown and a deep blush and it just wasn‘t imaginable. He watched L’s legs shift apart slightly when he increased pace and L turned his head into Beyond, B could feel L’s soft hair against his face.

But B didn’t stroke L for very long and it was just enough to have L’s entire body keening for more, just like B usually teased himself only to go on and finish soon...in this case…he couldn’t predict the outcome.

Although…he knew…

…L wanted this…he may have said no and then yes and then no and then maybe…but B had known that L wanted this, in some distant part of his brilliant mind, L had known this would be the result…they had to have this…they both knew it.

When B stopped stroking, L gave out to the strain in his shoulders and he had to lay back down, so B was looking straight down over him, L kept his eyes shut, a bit embarrassed,

“What happens now?”

That question made Beyond blink and he blushed, with the shadows over his face it wasn’t noticeable and beside that, L wasn’t looking at him.

“I think…” he started but instead chose to move his hand, sticky from L’s pre cum and he used his other hand as well, to try and roll L over slightly, expecting that L would, and he did, take the hint.

L sat up again and he rolled onto his side, swallowing deeply and questioning this entire thing in his mind and then he piped up,

“Beyond…”

“Lay flat…” Beyond said quietly and L closed his eyes, reminding himself that this had been inevitable and so he did, rolling over completely onto his stomach, he leaned on his elbows.

“…your legs…L…can you…”

“Beyond…I am not certain you know what your doing.” he said finally, his voice sounded so small with only the headboard for him to look at and the awareness that his bare body was in plain sight of Beyond.

“I know what I‘m doing…” he mumbled and L turned around half way, his lower half more or less still flat but he was looking at Beyond now and L’s eyes focused on Beyond, who was straddling his lower thighs and L stared watching B work his thumb against the head of his own erection and then after some strokes Beyond spread his pre cum over the tight skin of his length.

L turned back and he looked blankly at the bedspread, his breathing increasing a bit as his nerves set in…that was Beyond’s erection…it was not out of the ordinary in size but it was large enough by average standards…and that was supposed to go in L’s…

“Beyond…” he said again and his voice was lost under Beyond’s when he spoke,

“Could you please…get on your knees and…” he didn’t finish, a bit embarrassed himself to ask L to bend over.

For a split second L found himself wondering why the hell he was the one on the bottom???

Then he realized that as annoying as it was to admit…he had in some way instinctively just accepted it without a word…he supposed this was just the way he felt with regard to B.

Submissive.

“L…please…” Beyond sounded a bit desperate now and so with a small grimace L got up and onto his knees, deciding he would not look behind him, he was on all fours, fully aware of what Beyond’s situation was behind him.

“Can we switch the light off?” he asked.

Beyond wasn’t looking at him but he frowned,

“I think it would be better for us both if I can see what I’m doing.”

L’s mouth twitched as he frowned deeply…this was rather frightening when he thought about it.

“I feel a bit awkward…”

“It’s fine…I’m ready now…”

Beyond looked at the amount of pre cum he’d worked up, it was all over his length and yet his hand was still coated with it,

“I’m going…to…” L heard Beyond say and then he jerked forward when something cold touched him directly to what he knew to be his anus and he was suddenly breathing frantically with fright.

“…touch you.” Beyond finished, his index finger and middle finger stuck together with pre cum as he held it in mid air.

“I don’t think-”

“L, I have to touch you…relax.”

“This is ridiculous…” L said angrily and looked over his shoulder slightly, having sat down on his legs now, facing his back to Beyond.

After a short moment L sighed, knowing he was being extremely immature about this,

“Your hands are cold…” he mumbled.

Beyond still said nothing and L…wordlessly, got up again on all fours and hung his head, gritting his teeth silently at how embarrassing this was, and he didn’t know quite why.

“Could you spread your legs please…I need to see…” he mumbled to L…who noticed how withdrawn B sounded all of a sudden.

He’d obviously made Beyond feel more awkward than he did.

Again…when L had accepted all of this…he knew…he knew exactly where they would end up, he could even admit inside his mind that he expected he’d be the one in this position.

He felt Beyond’s weight shift and L spread his legs, fully aware of the cold air between his cheeks as he was exposed now completely, his teeth still forced together.

Beyond was exceptionally turned on, to the point where his voice was even a bit softened, seeing L this way, exposing himself this way and waiting for Beyond to continue…it made Beyond wonder if L cared so much for him…did L love him?

He held his erection and he pressed it against the very small and pink opening that looked more like a little pink line puckered with skin, he himself question how on earth he would get his penis inside but he knew…logic and general knowledge told him it was definitely possible.

L found his mouth tensing a bit more and he pursed his lips, hot soft skin pressed against him and he was all too aware of what that was.

It seemed like long moments but it was actually not more than ten minutes during the time which Beyond analyzed and tested the predicament, he noticed when he pressed forward, that there was room to actually get inside…it just mattered how much pressure and how easily it would happen.

And so he began a tense process, where he placed his one hand on L’s pale white cheek, his fingers digging into L’s flesh as he held his erection and pushed forward, Beyond’s mouth hung open slightly as he felt and watched the head of his erection push and open the first of L’s entrance.

L was gripping the sheets so tightly, already feeling intense pressure and there was vague pain, he wondered if this was the worst of it.

Beyond was lucky he had produced so much pre cum, it was making it so much easier to slide in and then it became extremely hard to push for a moment and their breathing was echoing around him, deeply but Beyond pressed forward against the slowly opening orifice.

“…Be…yond…I-ah!” L’s eyes shot open and a deep and low cy of sheer pain rushed from his mouth, his hand thrashing out as he slammed his palm to the head board and his mouth hung open, his face turning red from the pain.

Beyond on the other hand, his eyes closed when he felt in a short moment, a feeling of a pop almost and his erection had been sent about 2 inches in easily, he’d seen L anus stretch easier around him after that and then it was just a warm and tight feeling surrounding part of his erection.

L couldn’t hold it, his knees gave out and he fell forward, his arm bending and he dug his fingers into the head board with his other hand, his face landing in a pillow and L’s eyes teared, he bit into the soft white pillow as the pain shut up his spine. Beyond had dropped with him, losing some, not all, of the depth he’d made and it had only hurt L more but Beyond was still partly inside. He was now leaning on top of L, keeping himself up with his arms straight, palms pressing into the bed and L’s butt cheeks were rubbing against the part of his erection that was unsheathed making him tingle with need.

L said nothing but B sensed he was in pain, the problem was, Beyond was loosing feeling from the tightness and if he didn’t move soon, loss of feeling would lead to loss of erection, which was not an option.

“L…I want…to move…” he breathed out and leaned on his elbows, his face more or less between L’s shoulder blades, L was shaking.

Neither of them considered or knew of preparation…relaxing of muscles…but they’d made it this far and Beyond was so dizzy with lust and need and sensation that he couldn’t let this go.

He placed a wet kiss between L’s shoulder blades and felt him shiver.

L could feel the saliva on the pillow from where he’d been biting and when he pulled back to breath he felt the wetness from his tears on his cheek when he lay his head sideways on the pillow.

There was no point in turning back now, not when he could feel Beyond’s erection part inside him and he’d been penetrated already…that pain was obviously the feeling of being stretched, at that time not knowing about the second ring of his anus being tighter than the first, he really hadn’t known how bad it would be.

“L…please…” Beyond desperately needed the go ahead and so L, shutting his eyes tightly and groaning in discomfort, he mumbled into the pillow and Beyond identified his words as ‘okay’.

He lied his chest against L’s back and put his strength and focus on his lower half, his hands coming to be directly beside L, one near L’s own hand and the other gripping the sheets, L still had one hand on the head board as he buried his face into the pillow.

Beyond moved inward, hard, pushing more than half himself into L and L cried out into the pillow, his one leg instinctively moving, knee digging into the sheets as his lower half raised with Beyond and his leg bent up and stayed that way, making room for Beyond while all L wanted was relief from the pain, feeling himself stretched further with shots of pain all through his body.

Beyond again moved inward and with a deep exhale he was fully sheathed, feeling L’s tight anus ring around the very base of his penis he knew he’d made it all the way in.

L was choking on his silent cries…he was actually crying, his body shaking.

Beyond moved…outward, L groaned and shook and then inward and L’s entire body tensed and his lower half raised to accommodate Beyond’s movements, he felt it fully every time Beyond moved in or out, he felt the stretch and pain and only slight relief of pressure when Beyond only moved half way out.

It became a rhythm and L was breathing deeply and gritting his teeth, his eyes shut, against the pillow and his mouth away from it as he breathed painfully, both his arms now underneath him bent , his forearms flat against the bed. He felt Beyond’s intense body heat above him and the intense burning every time Beyond thrust…breathing against the back of L’s neck and occasionally letting slip a pleasured groan or grunt.

B’s movements became erratic because of the relentless tightness and friction, he thrust as he felt it suited him as he ached all over, breathing with his mouth wide open and his fingers digging into the sheets, Beyond was even nipping L’s skin every time it welled and he felt the knots in his stomach and the heat and the tingling…then he’d slow down…savoring it, stopping the build up.

L was silent aside from his breathing and the pain in his tight jaw from grinding his teeth together…completely void of any awareness beside the pain.

It lasted longer than expected and when Beyond finally came…he pushed himself as far inside of L as possible and held himself there…shaking as he lay above L, his fingers relaxing and he slid them along the sheets to touch L’s side softly, most of his upper body weight resting on L as he felt his body weaken with pleasure.

L was still and quiet…just soft breathing.

When Beyond felt his body regulating from the blur of pleasure that was his intense orgasm, he raised himself up on shaken arms and legs and he watched with half lidded eyes and he slipped from L, still half erect but quickly softening.

Looking at L’s entrance, the sight was still a turn on but he doubted L would think so, the swollen rim of L’s anus red and raw, decorated with his thick white cum and visible traces of blood…considering L was still unmoving, Beyond became concerned and he touched L’s lower back gently as he straddled his thighs,

“…L…” he asked quietly.

They stayed that way…Beyond watching L breath as his back moved with every breathe, he didn’t know why, but he started rubbing L’s back very lightly and then not long after that L shifted and Beyond stopped, sitting up as he saw L get back up on his elbows and then L turned his head a bit, so Beyond saw only his mouth, his hair covering most of his face,

“I need to turn over…” he spoke quietly and his deep voice was hoarse.

Beyond moved quickly and then in a futile attempt he helped L turn over just by touching his legs and moving him hardly at all.

When L was turned over and flat on his back again he made a visible grimace, keeping his legs spread and not all that interested in his appearance at this point, he lay his head back and B saw his beautiful face…yes Beyond thought L was beautiful.

L’s lips were drained of color from the pain…clearly, his entire face looked strained and his forehead still held a frown…but he was so incredibly beautiful to Beyond.

He looked at L’s completely flaccid penis, he’d obviously had no pleasure at all and this bothered Beyond…he hadn’t known how much he had done wrong, so he hardly understood why L felt nothing good. He took a hold of L’s penis and he started to fondle it lightly, using his other hand he touched L’s scrotum, like he would do to himself to become excited.

L became angry very quickly and he opened his faintly colored eyes, strain visible even in his iris’s,

“Stop it! I’ve already let you have me as you asked…” he shouted but in a low harsh tone and Beyond flinched with a grimace but he didn’t stop and L made a distressed sound and seemed like he would sit up so Beyond did first, leaning over L and with one hand he pushed L down, seeing a flash of misery in L’s face, so many emotions now that L had been made so vulnerable,

“Please…this is for you…not me.”

“I don’t want this, enough touching…” he choked out, looking Beyond dead in his eyes.

Beyond kept stroking, feeling the beginning of L’s erection coming back and L groaned miserably again and his hands raised to cover his eyes,

“Please…just sto-”

Beyond kissed him and L felt tears rush from his eyes…Beyond felt a lump well in his throat as he felt like he might cry, what had he done to L? This was not L…or it was, but this was a sad…hurt and very unhappy L.

All the while he stroked, rubbed and played with L, feeling L become completely erect after a while and then he started a rhythm with his hand firmly around L‘s erection, his tongue finding its way rather forcefully into L’s mouth and when he opened his eyes for just a second he saw L’s tears running over the side of his face, but he was still allowing B.

Allowing him even when it was clear L really didn’t want this-

L breathed into B’s mouth deeply and he felt L’s hips jolt up into his moving hand just briefly. He pulled back from kissing and L turned his face away, opening and closing his mouth, fighting to stifle any sounds as feeling started returning to his body slowly…Beyond saw a flush creeping into L’s cheeks…

He smiled very slightly and focused on his hand, keeping a steady rhythm as he stroked so L didn’t miss a beat of sensation, Beyond busied himself with a small kiss to each of L’s hard nipples and he saw L’s head shift to the opposite side quickly, throwing his soft black air over his face and then his hips moved again into B’s hand and his mouth opened and a deep breath came out, L’s eyes opened briefly and Beyond saw how completely dazed he was.

Beyond was an expert masturbator…and it was paying off.

He watched L’s face, teasing just a bit as he slowed his hand and then squeezed and jerked up and down, running his thumb over the swollen and pink head of L’s erection, L’s hips jolting up signaling he wanted more,

“…Bey…ond…” he said in a harsh tone, a demand.

Beyond regained the pace, still kissing…sucking at L’s nipples to keep himself busy and L didn’t seem to mind as he made small breathes when B would do this.

Then L let go, shaking…shivering, it felt like a hot and cold sweat to him and Beyond watched L bite back a sound, teeth clamping down onto his bottom lip and he arched so his head went back into the pillow, his knuckles turning white in his grip on the sheets.

L’s first orgasm…and he deserved it.

Beyond’s eyes trailed to the hot spurts from L’s erection, all over his hand and on L’s stomach and even reaching Beyond’s chest as he lay so close to L. Eventually…it was silent again and L was breathing heavily, Beyond breathing softly, completely erect again himself just by this display…but he was fine…he could let it go…just to enjoy this.

L brought his hands up to his face again, his hands now red from the blood rushing back to them and he wiped his hair back from his eyes, keeping them closed still, he felt sweaty…sticky…hot…he felt so sleepy and warm and yet he was still vaguely aware of a dull burning in his rectum…but overall…he didn’t feel as bad as he had 10 minutes ago.

He licked his dry lips and L suddenly felt Beyond’s weight on him, Beyond’s arms sliding either side of his head and Beyond’s face nuzzled his neck, L’s eyes opened and he looked at Beyond’s body on top of him, he could see the expanse of B’s back right down to the lump that was Beyond’s round rear.

Beyond was kissing his neck and shoulder and holding him and even though L’s legs were still spread a bit embarrassingly for Beyond to lay on top of him, he didn’t mind.

He liked the warmth covering his bareness and he liked the soft lips against his neck…L brought a hand up to stroke Beyond’s hair, slightly damp with sweat from exertion, and his other came up to rest on B’s back gently.

The night was barely upon them…it was before 8 pm.

But L was half asleep as it was, B’s warmth lulling him into it and the satisfied feeling in his body.

B was pretty close to sleep as well, but he’d see L rest easy first.

After some time later into the night, after 10…Beyond had gotten up, aware that he could not be found this way when Quillsh came to call L for breakfast. He didn’t bother to clean the dried messes from himself, he merely dressed in quiet. He didn’t wake L who was splayed out with a sheet half covering him and his face completely void of expression as he slept easy.

Beyond covered L…watched him roll around a bit and then settle into the bed completely submerged in warmth and blankets…all of the events of the nights before covered with the heavy duvets. B assumed L would wake up to a knock and be able to request privacy…he doubted he’d know how the morning would be…but he didn’t want to think about a day apart from L after this…or the undefined amount of time that would surely pass…if he ever did again have a chance to see L anyway.

He sighed in the darkness after switching off the lamp and then he walked to the door…the last word…that lingered in that room…was very serious and it was intended to have been imprinted in the very skin of L’s body by Beyond’s actions…because as Beyond would repeat as he walked the halls and avoided people to get to own room, he knew that deep down L would know it as well.

‘L…is…mine.’

‘Mine.’

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