Author’s Note: No copyright infringement intended. Enjoy!

Fever Pitch

Oddly enough, RJ had been the one to insist that he take time off. RJ, whose willowy body and warm eyes belied the unshakable master within him; RJ, the same guy who found floors to be scrubbed and new pizza recipes to be taste-tested every waking second of his staff’s day; RJ, who had earned every bit of the steely reputation that he seasoned with a bright, innocent smile. How ironic, that RJ would be the one insisting that he finally get some rest.

So, Casey Rhodes lay quietly on the threadbare couch in the loft, concentrating on the stillness that surrounded him and doing his best to mirror it. A blanket was pulled close around his slender frame, warding off chills from the cool California evening that breezed through the open windows. He could see the televisions from where he was curled, their black and white images muted and calm as the city slipped into twilight. One set was showing a rerun of “The Price is Right,” for some reason, but the sound was down and Casey gazed up at the ceiling instead, watching how the colored lights from the TV played across the dark room. It sparked lively memories of the transformation; of the sizzling energy that raced across the surface of his skin when the tiger spirit snarled to life in his chest and the morphing power took him over, sharpening his vision and filling his lungs with a cold, curious air. But he opted for the dark this time instead, throwing an arm across his eyes.

Two weeks. He had been sidelined for two weeks already, and hadn’t enjoyed a single minute of it. Granted, part of the trouble was the sharp pain in his side; it was quiet now, but awoke with a vengeance whenever he moved. The healing process was slow, but that wasn’t the main problem. No, that honor belonged to the thoughts that flitted like summer fireflies through his mind.

All right, now stop being an idiot and face up. Your name is Casey Rhodes, and you are--

“I am NOT,” he hissed aloud.

--you are--

“Stop it.”

--afraid; you’re afraid. And you know it.

Pulling his arm away from his face, he massaged the back of his neck idly and looked towards the televisions again. He didn’t especially feel like being reminded of his duties at the moment, but anything was preferable to having conversations with himself.

The main set had tapped into the security cameras at the Oceanfront Mall, and he watched the faces that wandered past. So many of them were kids; his age, and younger. It reminded him of the crowds that gathered on the fringes of the fights that he and the others engaged in, much closer than they should have been but drawn by the mystique of the Power Rangers, just as he himself had been, a long time ago. They would keep a healthy distance until the fight was over, and if they hadn’t gone to their zords the people would rush toward them, surging forward. Time and again, Casey could recall their star-struck, awed faces, and see their hands reaching out just before he teleported away in a flash of brilliant color.

But why shouldn’t they try to follow? He was living their dream, after all.

Casey allowed his eyes to drift closed and immediately found himself immersed in a dream all his own. He was standing in the clearing of a nameless forest, the power itching through his veins. Lily, in gold, was at his right hand, and Theo was molded into blue at his left side. Across from them was a nameless, faceless monster, twisted up into coils of shivering blackness, and as Casey stared at the creature he felt a familiar dread turning deep in his stomach. He knew this dream; knew it well… and he knew it would not end until he was dead.

He would’ve woken up, right then, if he could have, but he had to see it through and for what felt like the thousandth time, he advanced slowly towards the creature, feet moving of their own accord. He marveled again at how real it all seemed, right down to the fear pricking at the back of his neck.

Heck, maybe it WAS real this time. Who knew?

He straightened and Theo leaned in close, his voice soft and amused: “Dai Shi must be scraping the bottom of the barrel to send this loser after us, huh?”

The whole thing was like a videotape he had seen too many times, or a movie he had watched so often he knew every line. The battle began a second later and it passed rapidly and with little detail until he reached the end-- the important part, the part that he so desperately wanted to forget. Lily was sprawled on the ground, the victim of a vicious backhand, and Theo was standing above her, his jungle fan at the ready, shielding the Yellow Ranger as she caught her breath. The monster’s attention was captured by them, and Casey shot into the opening, ready to strike. The Red Ranger powers made such moves second nature to him now, and all he needed was to land a quick, hard blow to end the battle. Never mind that he wasn’t quite fast enough, and the creature caught sight of him out of the corner of its narrowed eye. Never mind that he didn’t tuck his head down in time, and the monster’s massive fist, glowing with power, swung towards his throat like a wrecking ball. Never mind that he suddenly found himself watching from above, fists pressed against his mouth to hold back a scream, staring as his own broken body crumpled to the ground. Never mind that a voice inside his head was singing, over and over, “You wanted this. Never forget that you’re here because you wanted this.”

And then he woke, his blanket twisted and a fine sheen of sweat covering his skin. His breaths were quick and panicked, lighting his side on fire. It took a moment for him to reassure himself that he was still alive-- hell, he wouldn’t be hurting like this if he was dead, right? Thus satisfied, he burrowed down into the sofa cushions, pulling the blanket up to his chin, trying to still the trembling in his body. His eyes wandered back to the television, and he was startled to see Theo on the screen.

Theo Martin, worshipper of moon pies and slayer of Japanese beetles, was crouching on a table of a food court now completely devoid of customers, holding off a pair of rinshi with nothing more than the cocky smirk on his face. He held the edge of the table in one hand and appeared to be waving someone on with the other; suddenly, a flash of yellow blurred across the screen and Lily was bouncing on her toes, two rinshi spinning out of the camera’s view in her wake. She grinned up at Theo, and he reached down to give her a high-five. Their palms cracked together audibly and her fingers closed around his hand for a brief instant. Casey smirked; if Lily kept this up, Theo would never want to spar with him again.

The camera switched to the opposite corner of the foot court. RJ was cracking his knuckles as a few cautious rinshi approached him, and Dominic was in the background, stealing a soft pretzel from a display case at the Great American Cookie Factory. No doubt RJ would have to erase these security tapes for a number of reasons, Casey thought with amusement, and shifted gingerly to watch. He lost himself for a few moments in the action, trying to get used to simply watching instead of participating. Lily had command of the cameras again a moment later, facing off against a snarling Camille. Pretty hair, he thought, as Lily delivered a punishing kick, tucking her chin and allowing her glimmering blond hair to spill down her back. He’d always admired a girl with enough fashion sense to have her hair match her outfit.

Lily’s head came up a moment later, her clear eyes were agleam with hot energy, and Casey felt a pang that had nothing to do with his injured ribs. She was living for this; he could see it in every part of her, and once, he had lived for it, too. Ever since he had taken his first martial arts class at the Kevin School for Advanced Kung Fu -- the kid who was actually taking lessons had started his own impromptu dojo and named it after himself -- he knew it was exactly what he wanted to do. He’d finally captured the school’s top honor as Top Kung Fu Master despite cracking his ankle (he had claimed that he’d simply fallen off his bike, though; his parents were still living under the happy assumption that he was just playing at Kevin’s, not practicing tornado kicks and submission holds on the other kids). That honor had meant more to Casey than anything; anything in the world. He had been constantly attacked afterward since everyone wanted to hold the title of master, but hell, he had loved that, too. And maybe for the other kids it was just a fun diversion, but he knew that this was his life. He wanted it.

So what had gone wrong?

Oh, he knew what had gone wrong.

His attention was drawn back to the television by RJ, now clad in his Wolf Ranger attire and raising his arms above his head as if the team had just scored a touchdown. The cameras zoomed in on a jubilant Rhino Ranger, his foot planted firmly atop a pile of rinshi as Camille sneered and faded away into the background behind him. Casey’s gaze drifted to the VCR clock; a quarter after ten. They would be back before long, then, and if tradition held Theo would bound in and be the first at his side, anxious for a battle critique. “How are you feeling? Did you see everything? How did we look out there? How obvious were Lily and I?”

Okay, maybe not that last one.

Trembling still, Casey pulled the blanket closer around his body and closed his eyes. He had thought martial arts was what he wanted; what he had always wanted. He knew that was the case for Theo, Lily and the others. He could see the hunger in their eyes, and the way they itched to compete, be it with one of Dai Shi’s monsters or with each other in training. It used to be that way for him, too, but he had felt himself slowly withering under the grueling regimen that being a Power Ranger had kept him to. He had only been a Pai Zhuq student for ten days before Master Mao had called him to take on the mantle of the Red Ranger, and while the great power had guided him with a sharpness and accuracy that it would have taken years to learn otherwise, it also left him dizzy and drained afterwards. He could feel the weakness in his muscles after the power drained away, and the empty trembling that nearly made him collapse after de-morphing. It almost made him sick, and lately that exhaustion had overcome everything, even the thrill of being a ranger, and one of just five entrusted with the protection of the very world.

He had talked it over with RJ, of course. Surely, he needed to know if the Red Ranger power was making Casey sick, and he wouldn’t want that, would he? He would be a man of reason, wouldn’t he?

Well, Casey knew the answer to that, too.

RJ had listened carefully, thoughtfully, to Casey’s trouble, and then had shrugged and smiled and said, “Deal with it.” No, Casey was too valuable to take time off. He was the leader. He was needed. So Casey sat down and tried again. He could be so much more productive if he could just rest himself for a while. He had to figure out how to control the power and use it; surely, it wouldn’t take long. He was still so young. There were so many things he still needed to learn.

“Are you saying you want to leave for good?” RJ had asked, sliding his reading glasses down his nose to pierce Casey with a measured gaze.

No, no, of course not. He just--

“I know it’s hard,” he said. “I know you’re working to catch up, and that’s frustrating. I know you’re tired. But this is where you are, Casey. This is what you’ve been called to do. And you wanted this, you know. Never forget that you’re here because you wanted this.”

And so Casey had pressed on, battle after battle. Sure, he was doing what he wanted. Sure, he was cradling a gift beyond measure in his arms. Who wouldn’t give their own soul to taste that power, the power of the Red Ranger, even just one time? But the exhaustion grew worse every time, and God, he just needed to rest. That was all. Rest, recharge, and maybe learn how to do those cool spin kicks that Theo always worked out in practice. He needed to catch up a little. He needed to be sure that, the next time he de-morphed and the power rushed away, that there would still be something of Casey left underneath, and not just an empty shell.

He trembled lightly in the cold night air and tossed his blanket up over the back of the couch. Well, he had the chance to rest now. Now, here he was… and somehow, it wasn’t what he had imagined.

Casey stood slowly, carefully, clutching his side as he did so. Moving like a man three times his years, he shuffled to the window and stood there for a moment, the blackness a perfect movie screen for memories.

The scene: himself, on one knee, the power surging around him and through him as he morphed and the tiger spirit burned to life. Theo and Lily were darting forward into battle as they always did, and he was steadying himself with one hand against the ground, blinking away the spots in his vision and wondering if his sanity might be the next thing to go. The haphazard decision was made then, as the power brought him smoothly to his feet and the unsteady, exhausted kid that was Casey Rhodes, just a 10-day Pai Zhuq student with nothing much to recommend him, was shuffled back into the wings. He was going to do it. It wouldn’t take much. Just one opening for Naja to take advantage of, right? It would be so damned simple to screw up, and what was a little pain if he got everything he wanted?

Actually making the decision, once and for all, injected him with a frenzied excitement as Theo and Lily set themselves just ahead, waiting for him to join them. He darted forward and they followed his lead. The dazzling energy shot straight to his heart like colorful lightning, energizing him, pushing any nagging aches in his body to the back of his mind. It would catch up with him after the battle was over, of course; on his worst days it was like hitting a brick wall. Knowing that, he sometimes held himself in check, but not today. Today, he would have plenty of time to recuperate, and he practically sailed to the fight.

Once the battle began, it passed rapidly and with little detail until he reached the end-- the important part, the part that he so desperately wanted. Casey squared off against Naja with his jungle chuks at hand, feeling the sizzling blood race through his veins as he lifted his chin. Could he do it? Did he have the guts?

Had to, he had to. No choice. He had to escape, and this was the only way.

Casey struck a single blow against Naja’s defending forearm, then spun back and launched himself at the monster’s head. It was a stupid move, a rookie mistake. For a fleeting moment, he was vulnerable, suspended in the air, consumed by a terrifying exhilaration. He couldn’t believe he’d had the balls, and now here he was, an instant away--

Naja plucked him out of the air casually and brought him crashing to the ground, and Casey felt the muscles in his side snap like an overtaxed rubber band. He had just barely gotten his head around before he felt his shoulders connect against the rocky ground beneath him, and pain exploded along his ribs, taking his breath away with the sheer intensity of it. He curled up on his side, clutching himself, teeth gritted against the agony. He’d had no idea it would hurt so much… but he’d done it. He’d done it.

He hadn’t thought much about what would happen next, but Lily and RJ had been there in an instant to protect him as Theo and Dominic pulled him out of harm’s way. He might have screamed then, from the pain that overtook everything, even the surge of power. He’d come back to himself after the battle was done, as they dragged him into the safety of the loft, and RJ had taped up his battered ribs. RJ’s voice had been conversational, but Casey could detect something more unsettled underneath. “You could have broken your neck, you know.”

“Nah,” Casey replied.

“Really?” RJ said.

“Not morphed. I couldn’t have broken my neck.”

“You just broke four ribs morphed,” Dominic pointed out, as Fran stood nervously next to him, chewing her bottom lip and eyeing the starburst bruises already forming along Casey’s side.

“I wouldn’t have broken my neck,” Casey repeated.

“Another inch,” RJ said, his flat voice not disguising the fear, concentrating on his work and not looking up to meet Casey’s gaze. Beyond him, Casey saw Lily close her eyes and press her forehead into Theo’s shoulder.

For his part, Casey had been unmoved. They all probably thought it was denial, or more likely shock, and that later that night he would sob into his pillow, trembling and consumed with thoughts of what might have been.

But that wasn’t it. That wasn’t it at all. There was indeed a thought whispering in his ear and washing cold air down the back of his neck; a thought that had tormented him ever since that night. But it wasn’t whispering about repercussions. No, the demon that kept him frightened and sparked the nightmares was something else entirely. If he had it to do over again…

Why, he would have done the same thing. And if he broke his neck the second time around, so be it.

It was casual thoughts like that that scared the piss out of him. My God, if he had it to do over again, he would have done it without a second thought, even though he could have died. My God, what was wrong with him?

Well, in the end, it didn’t matter. He was a Power Ranger, for better or for worse, and as such he had to take everything that came his way...

...and he wanted it. He would never forget that he wanted it.