It Figured...

A/N: For ginniejazz, a total sweetie whom has won my heart through nicknamed characters, sweetness, and randomness. No one else will 'get' this fic, but her comment inspired it.
Fandom: FF7/Bleach Crossover.
Prompt: “..It's...something all right...is suddenly reminded of the children of Chaos and Galian Beast”
Pairing: Cid/Vin.
Warnings: Crossover, OOC, unbetaed, crack, mpreg, language, spoiler picture for Bleach.
Disclaimers: Not my characters, Square Enix and Tite Kubo own them.

“DAMMIT, HOW GODDAMN LONG IS THIS GONNA TAKE!?”

The very tired and harried nurse was struggling not to pick up the IV stand and bash the chain-smoking caveman upside the head with it. He had been asked to leave the hospital room, and since then, all he had done was cause trouble and harass the staff.

She understood his pain and frustration though, it must have been hard on both of them...

Vincent Valentine had been admitted to the hospital earlier that day, due to complaints of cramps, out of control weight gain, and general discomfort. He had been dragged in by his life partner, one Cid Highwind, literally kicking and screaming, and after several tests and examinations, the poor genetically altered man had been diagnosed with a horrifying and fearsome ailment...

Pregnancy.

It was not what anyone has expected, but the issue was quickly connected to Hojo and a sick sense of humor. The alleged cramping was caused by the fact that he was in the early stages of labor. It was quite possibly the oddest situation the small hospital had ever dealt with.

The nurse took a deep breath, and calmed herself before speaking to him again.

“Sir, birth is not an instant process. You need to calm down, once you do, you will be allowed to enter the room again. We can't have you upsetting the patient.”

“UPSETTING THE PATI-”

“Also, sir, is it common for Mr. Valentine to transform into large beasts?”

Cid quieted considerably.

“Usually only in battle. Poor baby must be really stressed. Can I see him? I promise to keep my trap mostly shut.”

“I'll ask the doctor.”

With that, she walked away, and Cid was left alone to worry.

How the hell had this happened? Wait, he knew how it had happened, but damn him all over again. The stupid science geek was still fucking up people lives long after his death.

Cid snarled, and cursed Hojo to be reincarnated as a teeny, less smart, pimply geek, and to have his lunch money stolen daily in school. Then get run over by a truck, and reincarnated again to suffer the same fate for eternity.

He finally settled on reading a magazine on parenting, and called Shera to see if she could get some baby clothes and items together. He would certainly need them...

He paused to wonder what their child would look like. An angelic little blond cherub baby? Something dark and tiny? He was so nervous, but it was kind of exciting...

He was gonna be a daddy.

He promptly got so nervous that he has to rush to a trash can so he wouldn't vomit on the floor. This was quite possibly the scariest thing he had ever dealt with. How could he and Vin raise a child together? He was rough, loud and vulgar, Vincent was dark and fearful.

Some people just shouldn't breed, and they fit the bill for that rule perfectly.

It figured that they'd end up as parents anyway...

“Mr. Highwind?”

“Yeah?”

“We think he wants to see you. This way please?”

Cid followed the nurse down a corridor, and into the birthing suite that Vincent was in.

“Babe?”

Vincent was in the form of the Galian beast, blue fur matted with sweat, and obviously stressed. He raised his mighty head, and roared at the doctor again, whom had gotten too close. Once he saw Cid however, he nuzzled and cuddled close. He wanted to speak to Cid, to tell him how upset he was, how scared he was, that he wanted to be away from here, but he was too angry and scared to shift his form at this point, and words just weren't the Galian beast's specialty.

“Poor baby... Ya never get a break do ya?”

Vincent shook his head, and sighed.

For a bit, Cid stayed and comforted Vincent, until another vicious roar sent everyone out of the room. The doctor finally check on him, and after getting a rather disturbing wound from Valentine's claws, he decided that until further notice, they would just watch and wait. At the last check Vincent had shredded the bed to make a nest, so if nothing else, Galian beast's instincts were kicking in. Cid was assured that, if the need for intervention came, he would be notified and asked to assist. That did comfort Cid a bit, but he would have preferred to be in there. He settle in the waiting room again...

After that, it was a waiting game.

It figured.

The seconds turned to minutes...

The minutes had turned to hours...

Cid was getting very worried. It was just one baby, how much work could it be?

He decided then and there that the kid was born trouble.

Finally, the nurse returned.

“Mr. Highwind?”

“What? Is he ok? How's the baby? Any new information?”

The nurse smiled, a bit oddly, and Cid didn't like that particular expression.

“It's all over, you can see them now.”

He mused in worried anticipation as he followed her. Was Vincent ok? How was their little spawn? Maybe they weren't parent material, but they could damned well try. They had fought Sephiroth for god's sake, how much harder could raising a brat be?

When he reentered the room, it was clean and the bed was replaced, and Vincent was seated in it, warm and safe looking, and holding a small wriggling bundle.

Oh, as far as he knew, newborns did not visibly 'wriggle'. This was a very bad sign.

“Vin, are ya ok?”

Vincent smiled, and then his attention immediately went back down to the mass that was fighting to be free of the blanket.

“Shhh, no need to wiggle, all is well.”

A tiny mewing sound came from the bundle, and Vincent spoke more words of comfort to it.

Shit, Vincent was happy. Not just the fake smile, 'I'm happy so people stop trying to make me happy' happy, but genuinely, honestly pleased.

If he had known that a baby would improve his mood this much he would have figured out a way to knock him up long ago. They had struggled with therapy, and medicines, and self-help and all of the annoyances that made Vincent furious and Cid irritable, and all it takes is a wiggling mess in a blanket to reduce Vincent to a beaming, cuddly mess.

It figured.

“Cid, he's beautiful...”

Oh, that made it all the better. A boy, a healthy, active boy to play catch with and work on model airships and planes with. This would make there life complete. They'd take care of him, and send him to school, and unlike Sephiroth, whom Vincent was sure he had fathered, this child would be a good boy, and make things right in Vincent's heart.

He sat down on the bed, next to Vincent, and leaned over to see his first born boy...

And promptly got swatted in the face by a tiny paw, leaving bleeding welts on his face.

“WHAT THE HELL!?”

Most infants would cry at such noise. This child, a feline looking child with a shock of blue hair, and huge, blue, scheming eyes, simply hissed, and reached a paw out to slash at him again.

“Keep it down Cid, you're scaring the baby.”

“I'M SCARING IT? IT TRIED TO K-”

“CID!”

At the first signs of transformation from Vincent, Cid did hush, and the child purred contentedly.

Once again, it figured.

“So Vin...”

“Hmm?”

“How do ya feel about this.”

“Wonderful. This is my redemption, my precious boy...”

Vincent snuggled the child more, which nuzzled and cuddled and smirked at Cid when Vincent wasn't looking. Vincent nearly went into idiotic stupor every time the baby mewed or fussed, and when the child was fed for the first time Vincent's smile made up for ten years worth of angst.

“Cid? What do you think of him?”

“Oh, he's certainly something... But why does he look like the lovechild of Galian Beast and Chaos?”

“Because the egg came from Galian beast, and the remnants of Chaos's energy was used to nurture him. He's such a pretty boy... Aren't you, little darling?

The child clung to the bottle, his tiny hands pawning at it, kneading contentedly. Even Cid had to admit he was precious, when he was quiet and not assaulting him, but he did question the heritage..

Was the brat even his?

“So... He's mine?”

Vincent stared coldly, and the child looked over and gave a cocky, evil grin.

Ooh, not good... Why could he not keep his trap shut?

“Most certainly. Do you take me for a whore?”

“Shit, of course not! I just misunderstood what ya were sayin', with the Galian Beast and Chaos and all that...! I'm glad he's mine! You gave me a beautiful son...”

Vincent smiled again, satisfied with Cid's answer. Cid sighed in relief, and the kitten kept feeding. While Cid sat and tried to think the situation through, Vincent fussed over the newborn contentedly, which had been dubbed Grim, more than likely as homage to Vincent's father, and Cid found himself being ignored by the newborn child unless it was silently mocking him.

He must have been paranoid... Newborns didn't mock...

Newborns didn't usually have tails, and cat ears, and odd crests either.

All of the sudden saving the world seemed like a cakewalk when compared to raising a child that was born with claws and a bad attitude. It was just his luck to father a child who would raise hell while still in the infancy stages, play favorites and try to turn Vincent against him, and would probably shred the drapes to boot.

It was just his luck...

As the brat looked over in utter joy at his exhaustion and stress, only one thing came to mind...

It figured.