Whoop—inspiration!!

I've had this idea just FOREVER and I couldn't wait to write it up. Hope it's not crappy...

Fluffy Klema!!

YAY!!

Kinda. This isn’t entirely a crack fic—but the beginning of the story is kind of irrational.

Disclaimer: The only thing I own about Phoenix Wright is this idea.

Chapter 1: Experiment gone wrong.

Free time for Ema was never a good thing—for those around her, that was.

Today was no exception—our dear detective was at her desk, busy working on an experiment for the legendary Golden Snackoo.

Her superior, Klavier Gavin walks up to her, curious as to what exactly she is doing.

“What are you up to, fräulein Skye?” he asks, looking over Ema’s shoulder.

She jumped in fright, having had all her attention solely focused on perfecting the measurements of some kind of chemical.

The jump results in her spilling it over a beaker full of other chemicals.

And it explodes.

In front of a very flabbergasted Ema stands a mini version of her egotistic boss.

He was about to wail.

Thankfully, no one noticed the explosion—everyone else having gotten used to those bigbangs from the detective's desk—and didn't look towards Ema.

But she knew that they would notice a little kid crying.

Thinking quick, Ema bent down and clasped her hand over the little Klavier’s mouth.

“You can’t make any noise—or we’re both dead.” She whispered, ushering him under the desk.

His reply was muffled. “Oh sorry.” Ema took her hand off Klavier’s mouth.

“It isn’t my fault, fräulein—so at least I won’t be fired.” He answered, attempting to click his fingers.

He couldn’t.

He was about to wail again—Ema couldn’t make it in time before he let out an ear-splitting cry of despair.

“What was that?!”

“It’s coming from Detective Skye’s desk!”

Ema froze, shoving the nearest thing into Klavier’s mouth—the last handful of Snackoos she had in her bag.

He shut up pretty quickly.

“It’s nothing! I just happened to drop something!” she cried out, hiding the little Klavier.

Everyone looked away, muttering about over-reacting.

At least she could hide him.

How would she get him out of the building?!

For the next days until the effects of the explosion wore off, she would have to take care of him—a violent shudder travelled down her spine. Taking care of a glimmerous fop who recently had an anti-growth spurt.

And find an excuse to explain the prosecutor’s mysterious disappearance.

An idea popped in her head.

Her bag.

Either he was small enough to fit, or her bag was just big.

Who cares about that!? I just need to get out of here before anyone—

Where’d he go?

AAAAAH!!

Panicking, Ema looked everywhere for the little fop—she found him crawling casually down the row of desks, not yet unnoticed by the sitting detectives.

Yet.

She’d have to be quick.

The detective chased after Klavier, taking her lab coat off and wrapping the little boy in it, muffling any noises.

“Detective Skye—just what are you doing?” the Head detective asked, looking up from his computer screen.
”Uh, nothing! Nothing important, sir!” she said quickly, hiding the bundle behind her back. Ema forced herself to smile.

He gave her a look and returned to his game.

Ema sighed—almost dropping the bunch of lab coat.

Now all she had to do was stuff him in her bag and drive for her life.

There was a muffled protest when the lab coat managed to fall on several test tubes and conical flasks—it would have been very uncomfortable.

Zipping her bag to its maximum, Ema walked out as casually as her nerves would let her. She earned many stares.

The detective got to her car, threw the side-bag into the back quite violently and quickly sat down in the drivers seat.

She was hyperventilating.

This is not happening to me!! This can’t be happening—it’s not scientific for an anti-growth spurt to happen!! It’s impossible!! What’s going on!?

“I can’t breathe in here!!” cried a little voice.

Ema froze, forcing herself to take deep breaths and calm down.

Slowly, her eyes turned to the back seat, watching her bag struggle to move.

“Help!” the voice cried again, this time followed by a wail.

This is not happening she thought again, horrified of her predicament.

She couldn’t just ignore him—it would be cruel.

Ema forced her legs to move out of the car, open the back door, unzip the bag and help a struggling four year old Klavier out of the suffocating space.

He was crying, clinging onto the nearest thing—which was Ema.

Why me!? Why?! All I wanted was to make that Snackoo gold!! Is this punishment for trying the out of bounds of science?! I can’t think with all this wailing!! Shut up!! Why won’t you shut up?!

Now she was suffocating—Klavier’s arms wrapped tightly around her neck in fear.

“L-let go of me!” cried Ema, failing to get any air to her lungs.

Her strained voice was barely heard over the wailing.

At least he’s alive and kicking.

Gah, I can’t breathe…

Oh no—people are coming out!

If I don’t get him to shut up—I’m gonna be in a world of pain…

How do you get a little kid to stop crying?!

“Please shut up!” she pleaded.

It didn’t work.

“Gavin—if you don’t stop crying right now, you’re gonna get a face full of Snackoos!” she gagged, desperate for a gulp of air.

The little Klavier went worse—Ema could feel his tears running down her neck.

She shuddered.

A voice in her head snapped to attention.

Ema—you don’t get a little kid to stop crying by threatening them. Her inner mind said gently.

Who are you?! Ema thought back crazily, still trying to get the little arms away from her neck.

You, silly! Now how do you get a kid to stop crying? It asked.

You…comfort them? The detective guessed.

Exactly. Try it. I’m sure he just needs a nice hug—after what he’s been through, who could blame him?

Ema tried to laugh—well; he had been stuffed in her lab coat and stuffed even more into her bag full of uncomfortable scientific apparatus.

Awkwardly, Ema placed her arms around Klavier and rubbed his back, rocking slightly side to side.

This feels weird…she thought uneasily. Why am I hugging my boss?!

But it probably feels relaxing to him—don’t you remember when you were a kid and your mother used to comfort you?

Uh…ye..hm..may...No.

Well, you’re off to a great start (!)

Start of what?!

Motherhood. For the time being, at least.

WHAAAAAT!? I’m too young to be a mother! I’m only…!

Twenty six years old.

That’s twenty six years young to you!

Hey, I’m just being realistic. Now notice he’s stopped crying?

Huh?

It was true—Klavier had stopped crying. Now he was asleep with his head on Ema's shoulder.

H-how can he just fall asleep after crying?!

Don’t you?

That’s beside the point!

Now get a seatbelt on him - away from your bag.

Why not the front seat?

Ema! The voice scolded.

What?! I’m new to this ok?!Ema snapped back.

You can’t put a child under a certain age in the front seat—it’s against the law because it's dangerous!

What's the age limit?

I dunno! Because you don’t know, I don’t know!

Eh?

Doesn’t matter—hurry up before the others come. They’re staring at you.

I must be crazy—talking to myself in my head. This entire thing is crazy!

Crazy or not—they’re coming!

EH?!

Think quick—hide him!

Ema did think quick—using her lab coat as a blanket/hiding thing, she covered Klavier with the coat, making sure this time, that he could actually breathe.

Then hurriedly closing the door, Ema got back to the drivers seat and started the ignition.

Ema!

What is it now?!

You didn’t seatbelt him!!

GAH!

It was another five minutes before Ema got to drive to her apartment. All the way, her inner voice kept correcting her methods of child-caring. It was getting irritating, to be honest—thinking that she was scolding herself for the little things—don’t forget to seatbelt him, don’t forget to check he can breathe, don’t hold him like that, do this, do that and etcetera.

She had parked her car, and was now trying to figure out how to get the both of them up to her apartment.

Whether to carry him, or wake him up and get him to walk—Ema was strongly for the latter option, but her inner mind kept scolding her.

You can’t just wake him and expect him to walk! You know what he’s been through this day?!

When he was older, glimmer-boy here used to go through a lot more than just being suffocated. His guitar went up in flames, someone died, he witnessed his brother go nuts and etc.

Well, he’s not older—he’s younger now, so you have to be gentler with him! OR ELSE!

Ok, ok—I’ll carry him! But what if someone sees me?!

You can be such a duff sometimes—hide him in your lab coat.

In my bag?

NO!

Kidding, kidding!

Ema Skye—when you’re looking after a kid, you do not “kid” about doing harmful things to them. GOT THAT?!

Ok, ok! I got it, got it!

Throughout the entire elevator ride and walk down the hallway, Ema Skye's arms were put through torture - she had experience only with holding multiple science books and strangely shaped equipment. Not a child. Staggering into her apartment, she collapsed on her couch, nearly dropping Klavier.

EMA!!

WHAT!? I’m tired ok!? My arms are killing me from having to hold him!

It was only for five minutes! You could have dropped him!! Be more careful!

Well, I’m not used to carrying a kid!

How would you feel if you were dropped on the floor?!

Painful.

Exactly.

Gah—this is all just a horrible nightmare—I’ll just roll over and…

“Waah…”

“Huh?”

EMA!!

WHAT?!

You were about to squash him!!

Huh?

PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW!!

AAH!! Oh no—I killed him!!

Calm down you duff—he’s still breathing!

He’s crying!
See?!

But at least he’s not making all that noise.

Which is not normal—Ema, what did you do?!

According to your statement—I almost squashed him to death.

I meant what did you do to upset him like that?! Look!!

Eh?

The little Klavier was trying to slip out of Ema’s arms, small teardrops running down his cheeks.

“H-hey! Where are you going?” Ema asked, grabbing the boy again.

“Where I won’t get hurt!” he answered snappily.

“Hey!” snapped the detective.

“Stop looking at me!!” he cried back, struggling against Ema’s arms.

“Why?”

“I don’t want you to see me crying!”

It sounded so childish—so…not grown up.

It wasn’t anything the real Klavier Gavin would have said.

Not to her, at least.

Ema couldn’t help it—it just sounded so cute.

“I’m sorry then.” She said gently, awkwardly putting her arms around him again.

Finally—some motherly instincts coming out at last!

EH?! MOTHERLY INSTINCTS?!

All females are supposed to have them. Except for the ones who just abandon their babies to the wild. Like the seahorse, for example—

Ok, I don’t need you quoting my knowledge of marine biology, thank you very much.

“Fräulein.”

“Huh?”

“What happened? Why am I suddenly a child again?” the young Klavier asked. It was very funny, hearing the words of a grown man come out of the mouth of a four year old kid.

“Because you made me mess up on my experiment!” Ema snapped, remembering the start of this entire mess. “And since I know that you’re still you—you’ll get no sympathy from me!” she exploded, towering over Klavier.

Ema!

WHAT?! He’s still the fop—only in a more cute kid’s body!

But that means he’s a kid—meaning, he gets scared of you more easily than he would be if he was older. Meaning you have to treat him like a kid. I did not just say that.

Oh yes you did. Ok, I’ll “treat him like a kid.” HA!

“Mercy!” cried Klavier, cowering in fear.

Ema melted—well, at least her anger, brain and heart did.

Damn it! Stupid female motherly instincts! WHY!! Just because he looks that much cuter!!

“I’m so sorry!” she cried, squeezing the life out of the little boy.

“C-can’t…breathe!”

Ema’s inner voice sighed. You’ve got a long way to go before you become a real mother. Until then—be prepared for the worst time of your life.

Shut up—at least I got him to stop crying.

Actually—

Shut up!

Hmph.

Yeah - this needs some editing...

This is a slight crack fic, so it's ok if some of the characters are OOC right?

I promise you - the next chapter will be much better.

Stupid school - stupid ass's (assignments) - stupid lack of sleep.

Review ok?