Chapter 15: Rhythm

Edward.

--

I was uncharacteristically nervous as I picked her up that night, but she didn’t seem to even notice. The box in my pocket burned against my thigh as if it were made of fire and not velvet.

The night seemed to pass in a haze and she was the one beautiful point of reference in the blur. I began to regain my senses, feeling cold from nerves, as we strolled along the sidewalk from the cafe. Her hand was in mine acting as an anchor for my mind. We walked for about ten minutes and I steered her quietly in the direction of the park that I knew would be empty at this time of night.

“Where are we going?” she asked, playfully pushing me.

“You’ll see,” I promised with a smile. She released my hand to hug herself closely to me and I pulled her close in return. The park appeared as we turned the corner and I tried to push my doubts away.

“The park?” she asked, sounding amused. “We’re going to the park?”

“Maybe,” I answered mysteriously and tugged her toward the gate. The moonlight filtered through the canopy of trees wonderfully and she smiled as she tilted her face upwards to catch the light. I caught my breath and my hand fell to my pocket, fingering the box secretively.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked, hugging her from behind. She sank into my arms and I smiled despite what I was about to do.

“Okay.”

“Close your eyes.”

“That’s not a question.”

“Just do it.”

“Okay.” She complied, shutting her eyes and I slid my arms from around her. She frowned lightly and the lines on her forehead were unintentionally adorable. I paused, taking a big breath and reaching down in my pocket to pull the box out.

I kneeled down in front of her and popped the box open. Her forehead wrinkled further at the noise and I took a breath before telling her to open her eyes. She gasped, looking more than a little floored.

“Bella,” I started, taking the plunge. “I love you more than anything in this world and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Her eyes were wide and unreadable as I looked into them and I felt the first trickle of dread slide through me. It wasn’t supposed to take her this long to decide, was it?

“Edward, I’m not ready. I can’t.” She blurted out suddenly, taking a few steps back. She shook her head, looking terrified as she stared down at the ring in my hand. I felt the bottom of my stomach drop out as her words hit me and I stood up slowly, snapping the box shut.

“What do you mean you’re not ready?” I asked hollowly. I had been so sure...how could this be going so wrong?

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

--

I didn’t open my eyes immediately as I drifted to consciousness, the last remnants of my dreams still in fragments behind my eyelids. I took a deep, steadying breath as I felt Bella’s warm body curled against my side. I banished the bad memory from my mind and shifted so I could brush my lips against her forehead. I refused to start this day off with any lingering sadness from the past.

She murmured in her sleep and I smiled at the old habit of hers, remembering the countless nights I had spent listening to the things she would reveal in her sleep. I let her sleep on until she started to rouse herself about twenty minutes later. She snuggled closer to me, her arm reaching across my chest as she squirmed out of her sleep.

“Good morning,” I greeted her softly as her eyes fluttered open. She smiled sleepily and rested her chin on my chest to look up at me.

“Morning,” she said in return, scooting up to peck me lightly on the lips.

“How did you sleep?” I asked her, already knowing she’d slept much better than last night.

“Good, really good,” she assured me.

“Why don’t you go get ready and then I’ll take you out to breakfast, okay?” I offered, knowing that our peaceful morning couldn’t last forever. She smiled and wiggled out from under my grasp. She leaned over the bed, exposing her bare back to me as she reached for her t-shirt from last night. I sat up and kissed along her spine gently, letting my hand rest on her hip. She paused in her fishing and looked over her shoulder at me playfully.

“I thought you wanted me to get ready,” she said teasingly and turned back to trying to grab her shirt.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the view.” I shrugged.

--

A little later in the morning, we found ourselves sitting across from each other at a small cafe a few blocks away from my apartment.

“So, how’s your job going?” she asked as we settled in. “I don’t hear about it much.”

“It’s alright.” I shrugged. “I guess it’s growing on me.”

She laughed, her face flickering in slight confusion.

“It wasn’t that great at first,” I admitted for the first time out loud. “I was mostly just a centerpiece for their gossip mill, but now that they’ve thoroughly perused my life, it’s fine. It’s nice to get back into the music scene here; I didn’t realize I missed it so much.”

It was also nice to finally get to talk about it, I realized. Everyone had been so worried about my personal life, no one had bothered asking me about my work in forever.

“You know I’m always up for going with you to gigs,” she offered and I smiled at the resurgence of an old tradition of ours. She would come with me to see mostly awful local bands and then we would go home where she would cook dinner and laugh with me as I wrote the review. The prick of remembrance brought the subject we were dancing around to mind.

“Bella,” I started, taking her hand across the still empty table. Her face grew serious as she sensed the topic was about to shift. “Remember that epiphany I told you about?”

She nodded, but before I could continue our waitress interrupted us, wanting to take our orders. I ordered for the both of us and she let us be. It took a moment for me to re-gather my train of thought as I stared into Bella’s deep, questioning eyes.

“Basically...” I trailed off and frustrated at my lack of words, I tugged at my hair. “What I mean is...I realized yesterday that we have to let go of the past. We can’t hold onto it or we’ll never go anywhere.”

She was silent, her fingers playing with mine as she gnawed on her lip. I took her silence as a sign to continue.

“Look...I don’t know how best to explain this,” I faltered and looked to her for help. “I just know...Two years ago I loved you so much and I thought that I could never love you more, but I was wrong.”

She frowned and I squeezed her hand, begging her to listen.

“I feel like we barely even knew each other or ourselves when I look back on our relationship then, but I know myself now. And I can see that you’ve grown into yourself too.” I paused and this time it was her who twined her fingers in mine. “I will always regret that I took myself away from you for two years just to learn that I needed to grow up a little, but maybe it needed to be that way. Without that time apart, I don’t think we would be able to be sitting across from each other right now. We needed to have time apart so we would know how much we need each other.”

Bella exhaled loudly and I watched as she processed what I felt was a wave of gibberish. Even though I had spent half the day yesterday thinking about what I wanted to say, it still came out garbled.

“Wow,” she breathed finally, nodding. “Wow,” she repeated herself, a strange look twisting her face. Then, lifting her brown eyes to meet mine across the table she continued determinedly, “I think you’re right.”

--

Things continued to progress slowly, but steadily with Bella and I began to pick up the mess I’d made of my life. We’d pushed aside any further talk of marriage and had tacitly decided to save the subject for a future date when we were both ready to seriously consider the actual act, not just the concept.

We fell into an easy rhythm with each other, but it was never quite the same rhythm we’d had. This time was different in all the right ways and it seemed like we had finally found a way to work out our issues. Ever since that first morning after we’d slept together, we had stepped onto another plateau in our relationship that I was sure had never existed between us before.

Tonight, after almost a month, I was hosting my first official dinner part at my new apartment. I had studiously avoided having our friends over, but Bella had finally insisted that I had to sometime. I had ceded to her wishes, albeit reluctantly, and she had promised to bring something from work so I wouldn’t have to cook.

Her knock sounded on the door about a half hour before the rest were due to show up and I sighed thankfully. Opening the door to see her arms full of two paper bags, I quickly took one from her and she kissed me quickly for my trouble before following me into the kitchen.

“How was your day?” I asked, throwing the question behind me as I set the bag down on the table. She shrugged, grabbing a beer from the fridge and leaning against the counter to drink it.

“Okay, I guess,” she answered thoughtfully, setting her beer down on the table and starting to remove things from one of the bags. I followed suit, pulling a few foil dishes from the bag I had carried in. “Nothing too exciting.”

“How much did you bring?” I asked in wonder as she started to assemble the spread. “There are only six of us.”

“Yeah, and among those six is someone named Emmett Cullen,” she pointed out with a raised eyebrow.I smiled and walked over to her to hug her from behind and lean my chin in the crook of her neck, kissing it first.

“Good thinking,” I conceded after a moment, grabbing one of the rolls she had just finished uncovering. She slapped my hand but didn’t make me put it back, instead she went on with uncovering the other pasta and salad she had brought.

I took a swig from her beer and she smiled at me slyly from where she was spooning the pasta into a waiting dish. I grinned back at her and took another swig for good measure before putting it back.

“Anything I can do to help?” I offered, even though I was sure I would rather just enjoy the view of watching her lean over my counter.

“Mmm,” she hummed to herself and stood up with a sigh, putting the empty foil dish down before wiping her hands off on a paper towel. “Did you already set the table?”

“Yes,” I answered readily. I had done that while killing time until she arrived. She peeked around the corner to see the table and apparently approving, she nodded then shrugged.

“I can’t think of anything else then,” she said and shook her head as she finished transferring the last of the food. “Except go ahead and set these on the table.” She gestured to the dishes she’d just made up and I complied quickly. She followed me to the table and leaned against the wall with a sigh. Once I had set the dishes down, I went over to her and twined my arms around her. She leaned her forehead against mine and pursed her lips. I kissed them softly, sucking on her bottom lip eagerly.

“I don’t think we really have time to do that right now,” she whispered with a laugh, but didn’t stop me as I trailed kisses along her jaw and then back to her mouth. She leaned into me, rubbing against me torturously as she let me kiss her.

A knock on the door interrupted us from going any further. I groaned, letting my head fall into the hollow of her neck. She laughed and tousled my hair playfully.

“Edward,” she prompted me, making a move to walk towards the door but I held her fast.

“Can’t we just pretend we don’t hear them and spend the night alone together?” I asked pleadingly, kissing along her collarbone. She pulled my face up gently and kissed me on the lips before slowly disentangling herself from my arms.

“I’ll get the door,” she informed me and went to leave, but then turned around. “But Edward?”

“Yeah?” I asked, trying not to be too put out. She walked back over to me, stepping into my arms.

“While we do have to spend time with our friends occasionally,” she started, her lips so close to mine I could almost feel their motion as she spoke. “I’d rather spend all my nights alone with you too.”

--

So when I said 3-4 chapters, I really just meant this one and then an epilogue. I hope that doesn’t break anyone’s heart but this story is pretty much wrapping up.

I posted my playlist in case you hadn’t seen it! There’s a link on my profile, go check it out and let me know what you think. :-)

Review! You make my day every time you do.