Title: Forever Days

Author: Nadia Mack

Disclaimer: I own nothing, which is a tragedy.

Rated: K+ (There’s definitely sexuality this chapter but nothing really overt)

Summary: One night, Bella’s life changes.

Author’s Notes: I would go into Rosalie’s POV but I honestly don’t feel confident enough to pull her off with any justice. This chapter is a rather turning point between Edward and Bella. They still have a lot of hurdles to work through, but they’ll definitely be trying to work it through together. Bella, naturally, is being stubborn. Turnabouts fair play. lol Sorry for the wait everyone. Hope you like it.

Chapter 6: Half-Truths

(Bella’s POV)

Rosalie took an unprecedented intake of breath while I considered my options. She seemed surprised that I answered her point blank but that hardly meant I was going to reveal the exact nature of my change. It was only that I had one.

We were never friends to begin with. Confrontational, hot-tempered and regularly aloof, Rosalie nearly rivaled Edward’s stubbornness so I knew I had to appease her somehow before she goes off on her own and starts making up her own assumptions, thus making Edward suspicious and I certainly didn’t need that right now.

“Well… are you going to explain yourself,” Rosalie continued, arms still crossed and one foot tapping on the floor waiting impatiently. For a decades old vamp, I would think they’d learned a little patience.

John Quincy Adams once said, “Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” Too bad Rosalie didn’t follow the same mind-set.

“I wouldn’t want you to die of old age Bella before you get the chance to actually answer me,” Rosalie sneered with continued impatience.

I let out a knowing grin debating whether to put her curiosity to rest or childishly let the carrot dangling. I opted for the dangling; fueling this weird but much needed adversarial camaraderie that my relationship with Rosalie seemed to suddenly carry.

“Well…” Rosalie pressed again.

I bit my lip. “I’m thinking.”

“What’s there to think about?” Rosalie stopped tapping her foot and was now pacing the floor. “It’s been a troublesome decade and the last thing my family needs is more complications. You admitted you’re hiding something, so what is it?”

“Contrary to popular belief, my life actually doesn’t revolve around your family. To be honest, it hasn’t been about Vampires at all.”

I could tell my answer confused her and I almost felt a pang of regret for not just coming out and say it, but I suppose a part of me knew that once the secret was out, it would be Edward I’d be confiding to, not Rosalie or any other Cullen… well, perhaps Carlisle or maybe Alice if things didn’t feel so awkward between us right at the moment. Even when a large part of me believed that Edward stopped loving me, I couldn’t even share the truth with Jacob. My best friend.

“Look,” I started again. “You and I never got along so I don’t expect that to—”

“Stop right there,” Rosalie cut me off before I could finish and I looked to her in surprise. “I never had an aversion to the idea of having another sister, especially if it had been you.” Now that caught my attention. “Our lives...” she stopped mid-sentence. “No, not lives. Our existence; was not our choice. Don’t get me wrong, I love Carlisle, and he’s the father I wished I had in my human life. But if I had a choice, I would never have chosen this and it pissed me off back then that you, someone so young and promising would throw all that away for an eternity in damnation.”

Had Rosalie revealed this to me when I was eighteen, I would have still, in the end, chosen to be with Edward, damnation and all but after everything that’s happened, I could finally see a glimpse of where her resentment for me stemmed from. It made the sting of her past rejection feel a little less biting.

“And truthfully, at the very beginning, I’m vain enough to admit to being envious that it was you that Edward chose, and believe me when I say there was a lot to choose from.” I raised my eyebrows at that and chuckled.

“You expect me to believe your initial hatred for me was jealousy? You, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen jealous of a naïve awkward average looking teenager who couldn’t walk onto a flat surface without tripping on something?” Maybe she was out of her mind and I’m just simply an anomaly. “Oh, come on!” I scoffed at the ridiculousness of it.

“Edward was right,” Rosalie said sighing. “You really don’t see yourself all that well.”

“Okay, since when did this conversation become about vanity, let alone mine?”

Rosalie ignored me and moved to sit on a chair. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to share something personal with you.” I nodded cautiously because I was just too curious for my own damn good.

“Okay.”

From there, Rosalie shared with me the human memories she had, starting with a brief overview of what her family was like before meeting her then-fiancée, Royce King. It was a long tragic story that I honestly didn’t expect coming from her. She spared me the details that would have otherwise had me cringing, and I silently thanked her for that. It was one thing to imagine her nightmares inflicted on a stranger, but this was Rosalie, and her human to vampire image stuck to my mind like some horrible horror flick as the men that brutalized her without conscience or remorse.

Her story took another unforeseeable turn when she described how she first met Emmett, dying from a bear attack. He reminded her of her best friend’s child, and with a will that rivaled Carlisle’s, Rosalie carried him away and asked that he change him. It all seemed so surreal and so unlike the woman I know.

“Why did you tell me this?”

“Because if it’s immortality you still want, I want you to go into it with your eyes open.”

I inhaled deeply, quelling the urge to blurt out ‘too late’. “My want back then to become a vampire had little to do with immortality and had everything to do with Edward.”

“That is naïve, you know that right?”

I chuckled humorlessly. “I loved him so much,” I revealed quietly. “I could barely describe what it felt like when you all just up and left.” I paused for a moment before adding; “I wasn’t myself for a long time.” Then some ancient Native American spirit decided to grant me immortality for saving the life of his descendent, and for that, I had no other choice but to wake up from my numbed state and start living life as best I could.

Rosalie’s voice pierced through my heavy-laden thoughts. “You’re really not going to tell me, are you?”

At the very least, I owed her to a little explanation, no matter how obtuse it sounded. “There are things about me that has changed, you’re right about that. Whether it’s a good or bad thing is open to interpretation.”

Rosalie’s eyes narrowed. “That’s cryptic, especially coming from you.”

I shrugged. “Lot’s of practice.”

“Fine,” Rosalie huffed. “Keep your secrets, it’ll only be a matter of time until we find out.”

“I know.”

That was the truth.

(Edward’s POV)

As hesitant as I was leaving Rosalie and Bella behind, I knew I had to grant Rosalie her moment to speak to Bella. My thoughts having been about Bella the last few days, it hardly mattered what Rosalie wanted so long as I was with her. By the time I came back, Bella was in the shower and it didn’t take long for me to figure out what Rosalie spoke to her about.

“You told her?” I spoke clearly surprised. Rosalie was not one to share the details of her past life let alone her transformation and the subsequent events that happened afterwards.

“You two are more sickeningly in love now than when you were ten years ago, so I thought I’d give her some friendly advice.”

Then I saw the image in her mind and I shook my head adamantly. “That’s not going to happen.” I couldn’t believe that even Rosalie was acknowledging that it was better if Bella became one of us. A monster. “How can you even think that? You most of all?”

Rosalie threw her hands up in the air with a mixture of surrender and agitation. “What other course could there be for her?” she said then listed dramatically that “Victoria is intent on killing her. You’re intent on staying with her. I’m sorry Edward, but she’s not going to live forever.”

I scowled at the facts that lay bare before me.

“You’ve lost a decade with her already,” she added, tempting me with yet another incentive to turn Bella but I had to believe we could make this work without damning her to hell. “And you’ve continuously reminded the rest of us how fragile a human she is, but that’s not going to stop nature from taking her life at any moment. I’m surprised she’s lived this long, frankly.”

“Stop it,” I urged adamantly. I didn’t want to hear this, whether in her mind or out loud. “Bella’s going to live a long life.”

“But will she be happy?”

I groaned in frustration just as Bella stepped out of the bathroom. Fresh out of the shower, she was dressed in a low-key tight-fitting blue jeans and a white v-neck blouse that showcased her beautiful neckline. Her hair, lighter and longer than I remembered, was still wet. The combination of them all sent a rush of desire and need inside of me that had nothing to do with her blood.

Beside me, Rosalie rolled her eyes. Her thoughts noted my sudden discomfort while accurately targeting the source.

“We… should get going,” I stuttered slightly.

“Right,” Bella nodded, crossing the room to grab her jacket. I quickly made my way to her side and helped her into her coat. A habit that she didn’t seem to mind coming from me. “You ready?”

“Yeah.”

(Edward’s POV continued…)

There was something wrong.

On the outside, I didn’t sense any danger either from the thoughts of the people we passed and the surrounding area or from Alice’s visions. It seemed Victoria had disappeared, likely recouping from her lost limb.

No, this feeling I had was a little closer to home, and it took the form of the one most important to me.

I stared at Bella in the front passenger seat. Much to my annoyance, Alice was driving leaving me no choice but to sit in the back while Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett took the other car that was trailing behind us.

Since we left her room, Bella had been extremely quiet. Quieter than I have ever seen her become. I didn’t know what to make of it, and her closed mind only fueled my worry and frustration of the situation. Even her brief conversation with Alice in the beginning felt stilted. I can hear Alice’s thoughts, her worries and confusion over this almost unrecognizable Bella next to her echoed my own.

I knew there were things she was keeping from me. That there were things in her life that I had missed and was not apart of, but it was becoming unbearable not knowing what was running through her mind and what secrets she was keeping so strongly from us.

From me.

And there are secrets. That much I was certain. My family and I are much too adept in the act of secrecy not to notice it in others. It’s innately a part of our existence.

Carefully, I went through our previous conversations in my mind in detail.

Two things stood out. Her fight with Victoria along with her seemingly unharmed state, and the nightmare I unintentionally witnessed when I went into her room last night to be near her.

The first could have been luck that she survived unscathed, yet my own instincts couldn’t rationalize the possibility. Victoria is ruthless and almost methodical. Bella outsmarting her surprised me. Not because it couldn’t be done, but because humans in general were just too breakable and have less in their physical arsenal to prevent a vampire attack from harming them if one happened to be the prey.

To Victoria, Bella is a lot more than that.

Prey.

Prize.

Revenge.

I shuddered at the thought of my love being subjected to Victoria’s sadistic torture.

Then there was her nightmare. I couldn’t believe that I’d forgotten about it. The mumbled phrases was still unrecognizable to me, and for some strange reason, I couldn’t even recall the words. With my perfect memory, mimicking it wouldn’t have been a problem but as I tried to remember, the more it escaped me. It almost felt… mystical.

It was as if it was not meant to be repeated.

Lifting my head to rest against the rear headrest, I sighed.

“Is something wrong?” Bella suddenly asked, her eyes staring into mine through the rear view mirror.

“Nothing that can’t wait.”

“Oh, okay.”

Then it was quiet again. It could’ve been the perfect opening to start firing away with questions, but then again there was no guarantee she’d give an answer. Or at least the answer he wanted.

(Bella’s POV)

“That was a total waste of time,” I said entering the dimly lit room we were staying at.

Edward flipped the switch of the small but modest little motel room outside of the city. At some point in the day, we decided to split into twos to cover more ground. Convenient for the rest of the Cullens but inconvenient to one lone Swan. I suspected Alice was to blame but I was no mind reader so I kept her near obvious ploy to myself. That was until we reached our room and I groaned out loud.

“What’s wrong?” Edward asked, concerned.

“One bed,” I pointed out, my eyes narrowing toward a specific area of the room.

“Yes, about that…” he trailed off guiltily.

“I thought you requested for a room with two beds. I only see one. Why do I only see one bed, Edward?” We may have cleared the air with our previous complicated history and have made strides at becoming friends again, but I was certainly not in the mindset to jump into whatever it is we had right now with the threat of Victoria hovering over our heads.

“The lady said all the rooms with multiple beds were taken.”

My narrowed eyes turned to him. “I was with you the entire time, Edward. She never said that.”

“Well, she was thinking it.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Fine. Take the chair, the beds mine.” I was too tired and irritable to argue. I just really wanted to kill Victoria and put that part of my past behind me.

“Yes, ma’am,” he acquiesced with a smile.

I returned his devilishly handsome smile with a singular glare, completely unamused. God, it’s wrong for a man to be so insufferably charming and irritating at the same time. So like the coward that I was, I made a beeline to the bathroom, grabbing my bag in the process to take a nice long shower. I took my time inside; hoping the tension in my body would subside for every second I spent beneath the warm water.

It’s funny how time becomes that much more precious these past few years. Edward and the rest of the Cullens made the passing of time seem almost nonexistent. Perhaps because everything they’ve known in their human lives was dead and gone, and time afterwards becomes a none-entity.

Like breathing.

If so, it’s an awfully sad way to live.

I like these moments, even if they’re painful. It makes me feel like I’m still a part of something real and it’s not simply because I happen to exist. Maybe I really am a masochist.

Pushing away from further thoughts of self-inflicted pain, particularly the emotional ones, I abandoned the comfort of the warm bath and slowly got dressed. Instead of the nightgown I normally wear to bed (I really didn’t want to send any wrong signals but I sense that the attempt would be futile) I opted for my dark blue silk pajamas. I got them in Japan. Wonderful fabric, but I’ll never admit that out loud. Lord knows what Alice would do with that kind of information. Shopping, to this day, was still not something I enjoyed but I knew it was necessary.

When I finally stepped out of the bathroom, Edward sat at the far corner of the room reading a newspaper.

“Anything new?”

“Another missing person’s report,” he answered grimly. “Mid 30’s, male Caucasian, a local. No known relatives but plenty of friends. He’s been missing for two days.”

I nodded. If the body wasn’t found, it was likely that another newborn was made. The thought that all this was occurring because of me left a bitter taste in my mouth. So many innocent lives lost, and it was all due to an insignificant human being.

That’s me, by the way.

“It doesn’t make any sense. It’s almost like she’s… fishing.”

Edward looked up apparently started by my words. “Say that again.”

“I think maybe we’ve been going about this wrong. We’ve been searching the city for newborns but we haven’t been able to track even one. What if she’s been creating them but she’s holding them down somewhere?”

“Newborns are strong, Bella. There’s just no way for Victoria to hold them together in one place without causing a riot.”

“I’ve worked military and believe me, we’ve got cells that can hold vampires just fine if the government ever got wind that you’re kind exists. If a person was smart enough, which I know your kind naturally is, a modified bomb shelter could do the trick. You don’t like fire, so an electrical fence or wall could act as a barrier. It’s really all in the engineering when you really think about it.”

A look I couldn’t describe accurately came across his features. “The way your mind works has always amazed and frightened me at the same time, Bella.”

I shrugged, not wanting to dwell on his words too much.

“I’m going to sleep. Goodnight, Edward.”

“Goodnight, Bella.”

I didn’t see the sad look on his face when my eyes closed in what I hoped would be a dreamless slumber.

(Edward’s POV)

She didn’t talk in her sleep but I knew she was dreaming. Her head swayed back and forth throughout the night while I sat beside her, helpless. The truth that I couldn’t fight the nightmares that haunted her dreams pained me.

My fists clenched tightly together above the covers where her body was mere inches from my grasp.

I wanted to hold her. To give myself to her in some way hoping that maybe it would help her sleep better. I knew I was deluding myself into believing that we were well on our way to being together again, but a man could hope, can he?

But then suddenly she shot up and my hands instinctively came to her sides.

“Bella, are you all right?”

Her breathing was heavy, her heart erratic, but it was her eyes that nearly broke me. They glistened with tears. Tears teetering at the edge but somehow, she managed to keep them from falling.

“Bella,” I repeated again, rubbing her arms up and down and I hoped that it soothed her in some way.

Her hand slowly lifted to touch my face, and when it did, I held my breath. She searched me not with her eyes, but with her soft fingers. It was like she was blind to my image as her fingers traced my jaw line, my eyes, the length of my nose until she reached my lips.

She inhaled deeply.

“Kiss me,” she spoke softly.

I couldn’t even blink. “What?”

“Kiss me, Edward.”

She was vulnerable, I knew she was but when she asked, I obeyed. There was nothing I wanted more so I gave it to her. I'd give her anything.

Ever so slowly, I let my lips finally touch hers, and when it did, an eruption of another kind occurred.

(Bella’s POV)

I was lost in haze between fantasy and reality. “Kiss me,” I heard myself say and I barely heard his response when I pleaded with him once more. “Kiss me, Edward.”

Every night I slept I'd dream of histories I didn’t understand. Sounds of an old Native American language drifted in and out of my dreams only to wake up to find it fading from my consciousness.

Yet strangely, having Edward with me now seemed like the only thing that made sense in my senseless world.

So when his lips finally touched mine, I let myself go. I saw the past and present blur into one indefinable image.

Any fears or reservations I had about the future disappeared instantly, not even my fight against Victoria could stop this. My emotions were lost in the currents of overwhelming passion l shared with the man in my grasp. He was careful at first, and a part of me resented his gentleness when all I wanted was to feel all of him. My hands cupped his face before one arm snaked around his neck, urging him closer against me.

I felt his resistance crumble slowly and before I could let him think this situation through, I pressed myself harder against him.

“Bella… we… should…” he spoke between kisses but I shook my head in defiance. I wanted him. He wanted me. Too many things have happened between us that can stop the inevitable from happening.

“No,” I managed to say. “I need this.” My hands, which seemed to have a mind of its own, made its way to his waistline and began tugging his shirt from the confines of his trousers. “I need you,” I panted. “Right now.”

He groaned, succumbing to the same need that held her so strongly. His hands moved to the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head before he suddenly replaced my hands with his own and ripped his shirt open, dropping it unceremoniously to the floor.

My body battled against his. My softness to his hardness.

For one unspoken truth, they both stopped thinking all together. All there was now was this moment. Together.

I could feel his cool lips kissing me everywhere. My senses felt shockingly self-aware with every movement he made across my warm skin. His strong but gentle touch caressed the sensitive parts of my exposed body and I reacted as any warm-bloodied female did in the presence of a powerful male, by quickly removing the remaining layers that separated us.

When he moaned in obvious satisfaction when my lips trailed kisses along his chest, my heart nearly burst out of me. And when he was finally inside of me, not even the breach of my virginity stopped the onslaught of pleasure I felt, the dimness of my life for the past decade suddenly sparked back to life.

At that moment, the future didn’t feel as scary as it once did.

To be continued…