A/N: OMFG, I’m so sorry this is coming in so damn late! And I say “I” instead of “we” because I lost internet at home and had no way to update otherwise (damn hectic schedule that doesn’t allow for computer time outside of home). More blame on me for getting myself obsessed with Law of Talos besides… And Star’s not to blame for this…at all.

But hopefully you guys will like this chapter! ON WITH THE SHOW!!

From Chapter 3; Curses and Blessings

“That’s right, kid. Look, if you need me, preferably for wishing, just rub the lamp.” With this said, he disappeared into the lamp.

The human boy nodded, making sure the lamp was secure inside the cloak’s inner pocket. “Alright, time to get to HQ!” Continuing on his way, he slowed to a stop when he arrived at a grocery store. “Right…running low on groceries…” Giving a small sigh, he entered the store and began moving down the isles.

When he reached the dairy isle, he hurried along and accidentally rubbed against the lamp, thus summoning a rather impatient genie.

“So shopping to get taller, eh?” Envy asked rather smugly, suddenly smirking at the milk.

Just then the grocery store made an announcement that they were having free samples of soy milk. Ed tried passing by the soy milk stand in a hurry, but the person manning the sample station called out to him, “Hey, you there, Mister! Are you the type of person who doesn’t like milk?”

Ed slowed down, but didn’t completely stop. Instead, he turned his head to look back. “Yes, I am.”

The man smiled at him. “Then you have got to try this soy milk. It tastes nothing like milk!”

This time, the short blonde stopped completely. “Really? Well, in that case…” He grabbed a small plastic cup that looked suspiciously like a shot-glass (although this detail has no significance in the story), he started drinking but quickly spat it out on the man’s face. The other man wiped the soy milk off his face as the temperamental teen yelled, “It still tastes like milk, you liar!”

Envy, who hadn’t disappeared back into the lamp and witnessed the show, smirked as if he wanted to laugh but decided it wasn’t quite time to start. “Wow, so the pipsqueak finally decided to drink his milk.” He let himself laugh almost the exact moment the teen whipped around with a furious scowl.

“Who you calling pipsqueak you stupid palm tree!” Ed yelled, loudly enough for everyone in the store to hear him.

At that moment, the group of fangirls from the last chapter started walking down the isle.

“Did he just say palm tree!?” asked one of the girls, practically squealing in excitement.

“He did!” confirmed another girl, just as excitedly.

“That must mean our Envy and Ed are here!” stated yet another girl with just as much enthusiasm, starting to look about her surroundings.

All at once they had spotted Ed and Envy and started charging down the isle, all the while screaming, “We love you, Envy! We love you as well, Ed!”

Terror slapped itself onto the blonde boy’s face, eyes wide. “Oh, crap! They’re here, too!?” He tried to flee from the girls, but they were obviously well experienced in chasing down their obsessions and were closing in on him.

Envy, who was running along side him, after looking over his shoulder stated, “Man, those girls run fast!”

Gold eyes turned toward the genie instantly. “Envy! I wish you would hide me!”

Amethyst eyes turning back toward gold ones, a smirk materialized onto his lips. Snapping his fingers, he used his Ultimate Cosmic Powers to turn Ed into a tub of ice cream and simultaneously used the wish to hide himself, too, even though his temporary master had only wished for himself to be hidden. However, instead of turning himself into something else, he simply made himself invisible.

For some odd reason, they seemed unaware of the sudden disappearances of their favorite Fullmetal Alchemist characters (they probably assumed they had turned into a random isle while they were busy fantasizing) and ran right past them.

“Wow!” said one of the girls after awhile, beginning to slow down. “It’s like they disappeared!”

“Wait a minute, girls!” said another one, waving for the others to follow her. “I think I see our Envy!” Pointing toward a palm tree silhouette outside the store door, she ran toward it, leading the horde of fangirls. “Let’s go after him before he tries getting away from us!”

Back where the two stars were, Ed’s muffled voice could barely be heard commanding, “Now I wish I was back to my normal self!”

Sagging slightly in what could be assumed was disappointment, the genie granted the wish.

“What were you thinking!?” the oh-so-patient alchemist roared, gold eyes glaring daggers at the somewhat taller teen in front of him.

The older male smiled sweetly. “You said you wanted me to hide you. You never specified where or how.”

“Grr…! I don’t know whether to be mad at you for the way you granted my wish or at myself for not being specific!”

The smile shrank to a smirk without losing its amusement. “Make your life easier by choosing neither, Pipsqueak.”

“Grrrrrr!” Ed growled, hands raised as if they were claws about to shred, when the announcements came on the intercom.

“Attention, shoppers! There’s a Pipsqueak in the Dairy Isle who thinks he’s seeing palm trees. We advise you to take extra caution when going around him. Also, there are crazy, obsessed fangirls who also think they are seeing palm trees and are, currently, hunting down said palm trees. Please be on the lookout for them, and remember to be extra cautious.”

“Grrrrrr! That’s it!!” the cloaked boy fumed, running off the set in a fit of rage.

Both directors straightened in alarm (although they were already looking on intently from the beginning).

“Hey, wait a minute, Ed! What are you doing?” Star asked, loudly enough to be called yelling.

“Get back on the set and do the scene right!” commanded Ninja, standing up from her chair and turning to face the blonde.

“Do the scene right?” Ed started angrily, skidding to a stop to glare at the shorter director. “Those fangirls weren’t even supposed to be in there in the first place!”

“We know,” Star consoled, gesturing with her hands for him to calm down. “Don’t worry, we won’t add them into the original story.”

“Good.” Seemingly to have calmed down, he looked almost placidly at the two directors before adding, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s something I need to settle.” Turning around very calmly, he paused, then abruptly bolted straight for the make-shift announcer’s office. Glaring at the man seated there, he growled, “So you’re the announcer who called me Pipsqueak!” He grabbed the frightened-looking announcer guy by the front of his shirt.

Star and Ninja both ran into the room at that exact moment, skidding to a stop like professionals in a movie. They yelled in unison as if they had rehearsed over a million times, “Ed! Put the guy down, he’s just doing his job!”

“Y-Yeah,” stuttered the announcer guy, shaking in Ed’s grip. “I-I’m only doing what I’m supposed to be doing…p-please don’t hurt me!”

Glaring at the pitiful man for a brief second, he huffed, “Fine.” He then threw the announcer dude back into his chair. “Just don’t let it happen again.”

“Uh…yes, sir!” the announcer replied, saluting the blonde boy stupidly.

“Hold on, Ed.” Ninja crept up to the short blonde who was taller than herself, lightly poking his shoulder. “You’re not the director here.” She almost instantly leapt back like he was about to swing at her, but of course he stayed perfectly still. “He listens to us.”

“Grr…” Ed growled, clenching his hands into fists as he stormed out of the office. “This is so unfair!”

“Now, Ed,” the taller of the directors started, following the sizzling teen to make sure he was heading toward the set instead of…well, somewhere else. “Go back to the grocery scene and do it right.”

All he did was sigh and step back onto the set. Envy disappeared back into the lamp and the directors went back to their seats.

–a little while later –

In the next isle, the cloaked boy noticed some food items he needed (or thought he needed) up on the higher shelves. So he got up to his tippy-toes, trying to reach them. A store worker came by, but because of the warning to be cautious around the Pipsqueak, he didn’t bother assisting him and instead continued to walk on by. Getting agitated, he started waving his arms exaggeratedly and again accidentally rubbing the lamp with his cloak. Envy appeared behind the human, who was obviously unaware of what he had done. “Man, I wish I were taller…!”

A cruel smirk instantly materialized onto the genie’s lips, knowing that it wasn’t really an intended wish but too eager to get the wishes done and over with to care. Snapping his fingers, his young master instantly shot up a few feet…at least enough for his head to crash through the ceiling.

“Whoa!” Rubbing his head, he leaned back and gave the large hole in the ceiling a vaguely bewildered look as he stupidly stated, “I’m touching the ceiling.”

“Hey, look at it this way,” the now shorter male started, smirking mischievously up at his master once he had gained his attention, “at least you’re not a Pipsqueak anymore.” He grinned and almost laughed when the blonde made an immediate reaction to the nickname still.

“Who you calling a Pips– Oh, I guess you’re right, hahah…”

“Wait a minute…” Star stood up from her seat and walked over. “This isn’t right…I thought we were just going to make him two feet taller,” she said in a tone that was more like a question, turning back toward her co-director.

“That’s right, Star,” the darker-clothed female responded, nodding subtly before rising to her feet herself. “Envy, let’s try again…and this time, only make him taller by two feet.”

Envy smirked at her. “What happens if I don’t?”

The lighter-haired brunette answered for her companion. “You’ll have to go in there.” She pointed toward a nearby door that looked rusty and cracked, with a rotting wooden sign that read TORTURE CHAMBER in all caps.

Amethyst eyes widened as he gave an audible gulp. “Ah…a-alright,” he stuttered, raising his hands. “Two feet it is, then.”

Star nodded in approval, smiling brightly at him. “Good, good.”

“Alright, everyone! Once again,” Ninja sighed these two words as if saying them was exasperating, “back in your places.” Turning around lazily, she trudged back to her seat and, giving a less-than-courteous twirl, flopped into her director’s chair.

Envy returned Ed to his original height (which Ed was oddly grateful for), and everyone resumed positions.

A/N 2: Again, I’m so sorry for the lateness! Not to mention Star and I have both forgotten some of the extra funny stuff we had intended to include in our story (oh, did I mention that, not only did I lose internet, but a virus making the computer sick wiped out all of our saved documents?)…so we’re in desperate need of reminding (or, for those who have yet to make any suggestions for something funny, now is the perfect opportunity!), so, uh…give us something funny! R&R please!