Hey everyone!

Yowza!

I’m sailorstar165

And I’m Shimanishiki

And we’re here to bring you this wonderful, extreme-shonen ai of LavixKanda!

Warning: contains many scenes that we leave up to your imagination Reason we do this: our minds might be more than you can hangle. O.o

We tested it on my friend and Sailor’s brother. They’re scarred for life.

Anywho, for future reference, my notes are like this

And mine like this.

Now onto the story.

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“Damn this cold,” Kanda muttered. He had his arms wrapped tightly around himself and has his face turned from the blizzard’s winds. “Why are we in this cold-ass place anyway?”

“Because there’s possibly an Innocence,” Lavi replied brightly despite the snow collecting in his hair.

Kanda glared at Lavi. The redhead was walking behind the swordsman to use him as a shield. “We better find some place before we become icicles, then.”

It was near impossible to see through the white blanket, but he finally spotted a cave up ahead. It was a struggle to reach, but they managed to get inside.

“I think I have frostbite on my frostbite...” Lavi mumbled, rubbing his hands together. His fingers were red, but not black with frostbite yet.

“Stop whining,” Kanda grumbled. He sat down on the floor of the ice cave. “At least we’re out of that God damn blizzard.”

Lavi’s teeth were chattering. “Y-you know, the best w-way to st-stay warm is to share body heat, right?” He was hopping from one foot to another in an attempt to warm up.

Kanda pointed his Mugen at Lavi. “Come near me, and I’ll stab you,” he grunted. He was shivering too, though not as badly as Lavi. He was used to the extreme of anything. The fact he healed almost instantly didn’t hurt either.

“B-but Yuu...” Lavi stopped when Kanda didn’t lower his sword. Sighing, Lavi sat down on the other side of the cavern and continued to shiver.

A few hours passed, and Lavi felt drowsy. Another hour, and he slumped against the frozen wall. “So... sleepy...”

“Carrot?” Kanda called over the redhead. He didn’t receive a response. “Carrot!” he shouted again. Still nothing.

Irritated, Kanda got up and poked his fellow exorcist with his foot. “Carrot, wake up.” Still, Lavi didn’t respond. “If you don’t wake up, you’ll freeze to death.” He knelt down and shook Lavi. “Lavi!” Now he was getting worried. If Lavi wouldn’t wake up... Kanda didn’t want to think of the hell he’d get from the Order for letting him die.

Sighing, Kanda took off his coat and arranged Lavi so that the redhead was leaning against his chest. He then tugged the coat tightly around both of them so it would keep the heat from escaping. Lavi felt cold—really cold.

Damn it all, Kanda thought, rubbing Lavi’s arms to warm the half-frozen exorcist. I would have been better off coming alone.

After what felt like hours, Lavi finally came around. “Yuu...?” he asked sleepily. “Why are you hugging me?”

“Because you fell asleep,” Kanda said bluntly. “You must be a moron to sleep in this weather.”

“It’s hard not to when it’s so cold,” Lavi grumbled. He tried to pull away from Kanda, but the swordsman wouldn’t let go. “Hey, what’re you doing? Lemme go.”

“But you’re warm now,” Kanda said, holding Lavi tighter.

“Y-Yuu... I’m too warm. Let me go!” Lavi glanced at Kanda, who was smiling. “Yuu... What’s with that smile...?”

“You’re not dead,” Kanda grunted, “so I won’t have to deal with everyone whining at the Order.”

“Let me go!” Lavi said, at last escaping Kanda’s arms. He shivered at the sudden burst of frosty air. There was a splash when he stepped back. “What the...?”

Kanda touched the water. “It’s hot,” he muttered. He glanced at Lavi, who already had his hammer raised.

“I’m on it!” Lavi slammed the hammer into the ground, cracking more of the ice. The steaming water gushed forth, soaking both exorcists.

“A warning next time would be nice.” Kanda shook the water off his coat, but his pants and hair weren’t going to dry anytime soon.

The water sank back into the hole, forming a nice hot spring. “Sweet!” Lavi said, yanking off his clothes and jumping in. The water splashed out again because of his cannon ball.

Kanda raised an eyebrow. “Give me a Goddamn warning next time! I don’t want to see your naked ass.”

Lavi resurfaced and squirted water out his mouth at Kanda. “You know you liked it,” he teased. He didn’t know how right he was. “Come on in! The water’s great!”

“When we leave this cave, we’ll turn into ice cubes,” Kanda pointed out. “You can freeze later, but I’m not.”

“We can dry off. The cave’s warmer now ‘cause of the spring.” Lavi splashed some of the water at Kanda.

Kanda frowned. “You know, we wouldn’t have had this problem if you’d just used Hiban like a smart person.”

“Party pooper,” Lavi muttered, sinking a little deeper in the spring. He blew a few bubbles before returning to the surface. “Fine, you sit on the floor while I enjoy my hot spring bath.” He stretched out lazily.

“You’ll freeze later, dumb ass.”

“What, are you scared I’ll see you naked? We’re both men with the same manly parts.”

“Yeah, but I’m bigger,” he muttered.

“What was that?” Lavi said. “Wanna bet?”1 He stood up. “Hey, are you blushing?”

“N-no!” Kanda said. “It’s just hot in here.”

Lavi climbed out of the spring, his feet melting the thin layer of ice on the rest of the cave floor. “You are so! What, am I really bigger than you?”

It was Kanda’s turn to get defensive. “No, you’re not!”

“Then let me see!”

Kanda tugged off his clothes and made sure Lavi could see. “Hmmm...” Lavi muttered, inspecting it. Kanda’s face flushed. “Looks a little small. Maybe it’s the cold.”

“Shut it, Carrot,” Kanda muttered. He went to grabb his pants, but Lavi grabbed his arm first.

“I know how to fix that!” Lavi said brightly. He flung the swordsman into the spring and jumped in after him. “See? It’s nice and warm in here!”

“I’m going to kill you!” Kanda snapped. He was about to strangle his partner, but stopped. Naked with Rabbit... in hot spring... alone. He backed away and sunk into the other side of the spring.

“What happened to you were going to kill me?” Lavi asked curiously. Kanda was acting weird, even for him.

“Shut up, Lavi.”

“I don’t have to shut up if I—wait, did you just call me by my name?” This surprised Lavi. Usually, Kanda called everyone by some evil nickname just to piss off everyone who pissed him off. Something definitely wasn’t right. “Friend!” He glomped Kanda, splashing more of the hot water.

“G-Get off of me, Lavi—I mean—Carrot—Rabbit—Aw hell!”

“Why’re you so flustered, Yuu?” Lavi asked, still grinning. “Did you get a personality transfusion?”2 He stopped laughing when felt something hard hit his leg.

“Lavi, I’m Gay, and I’m horny right now. Other side of the spring!” Kanda said, shoving the future Bookman away.

“Really?” Lavi didn’t sound bothered by Kanda’s words. In fact, he seemed interested—intrigued even. “So, are you uke or seme?”

If he hadn’t felt uncomfortable before, Kanda did now. “N-none of your business, Carrot!”

“What happened to Lavi?” He was getting closer again, and Kanda had nowhere to retreat to. “Or what about Rabbit? I thought that was a cute nickname.”3

Kanda looked at Lavi funny. Could he be...? “Are you... Gay?”

“Bisexual is the correct term,” Lavi said. He waved his finger in the air as if scolding Kanda for not knowing. “Not even Bookman knows my little secret. He thinks I’m a boob-obsessed wacko!”

“Aren’t you?”

“Well, among other things,” Lavi admitted.

It was Kanda’s turn to be interested. “What other things?”

“I like swords!” Lavi said, grabbing Kanda’s.

Kanda swatted Lavi’s hand away. “Carrot, no touching! It’s not helping!”

“But I wanna touch!” he whined. He made groping motions with his hands in the air. “It’s really big.”

“I thought you said it was small.”

“I lied.” Lavi smiled sweetly. “It’s my way of not getting horny around other guys.” He started inching closer.

“S-so are you uke or seme?” Kanda asked, pressing himself up against the side of the spring.

“I prefer seme for girls, uke for guys, but I’ll swing either way. Course,” Lavi paused to think a moment, “I’m still a virgin, so I’ve never really done either, come to think of it.”

Kanda found that information an extreme turn-on. He smacked himself mentally. BaKanda! That’s not good to think about right now! You don’t like him, remember?

“What about you, Yuu?” Lavi asked.

“What about me?”

“Are you still a virgin?”

“Why should I tell you?” Kanda asked.

“Sake of conversation.” Lavi shrugged. “And you never answered the question! Uke,” he held one hand out, “or seme?” It was as if he were weighing the options in his hands. “Whatever you want, I’m fine with it.” He shrugged again.

“W-wait a minute... is that... permission?” Kanda couldn’t believe his ears.

This time, Lavi’s face turned bright red. “Uke or seme? Seriously, just choose one!”

He was changing the subject. “Seme, definitely. I like stabbing things,” Kanda said, a grin spreading across his face. He started approaching Lavi, who was now backing away.

Lavi turned away, blushing furiously. “W-what was that, Komui?” he said into his new ear piece communicator.

“You’re a sucky liar,” Kanda said. His breath was on Lavi’s neck, making Lavi freeze. “The snowstorm’s killed the signal. Trust me, I tried earlier.”

“S-so you were trying to get away from me?” Lavi asked. He turned to face Kanda and pressed his back against the side of the spring. He was trying to look calm and composed when in reality his heart was pounding. “Y-you don’t like me, remember?” Kanda’s lips were only a breath away.

“I lied,” Kanda said, kissing Lavi.

“Kanda? Lavi?” came a voice from the communicator.

“Holy shit!” they both shouted, breaking apart instantly. Both were slightly disappointed with the interruption. They made eye contact, neither trusting the other to not blab about what was about to happen seconds before.

“...Why were your voices so close together?” Komui’s voice asked.

“It’s cold here! We were trying to keep from freezing!” Kanda snapped. “You have the habit of picking the worst conditions for missions, you moron!”

“Oh! I see!” Komui said. They could tell from his voice that he was nodding. “No one get frostbit?”

“Actually, we found a really small hot spring in a cave when we were trying to get out of the blizzard,” Lavi offered. “That’s why were so close together before. Not much room.” He laughed nervously as Kanda sent him a glare.

“I wish I had a hot spring!” Komui sighed. “All I have is work.”

“KOMUI! GET OFF THE PHONE AND GET BACK TO WORK!” Reever shouted in the background.

“Gotta go!”

“God, he has the worst timing,” Lavi muttered.

“You were enjoying it,” Kanda said.

“No I wasn’t!” He stopped. “What if I was?”

Kanda started crowding him again. “Want to try again, Rabbit?”

Lavi knew what he was referring to with Rabbit. He’d just dug himself a deeper hole. Damn his disease! “I really should put my foot in my mouth sometimes,” he grumbled to himself.

“I know something else you could put in your mouth,” Kanda said.4 He chuckled. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he added when he saw Lavi’s horrified expression. “Komui ruined the mood anyway.”

“O-oh... Good...” Lavi let out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t ready for that yet—yet being the key word. He climbed out of the pool.

“Nice butt,” Kanda said, still grinning.

Suddenly self-conscious, Lavi snatched his clothes and covered himself with them. “Pervert,” he scolded, blushing.

“You’re the one who wanted to compare sizes.”

“Yeah, but you took it too far!”

“You liked it.”

“Y-you’re lucky I didn’t scream ‘rape’!” Lavi pulled his pants back on just to make sure Kanda knew it was over.

“No one would’ve heard you.”

“Komui would have!”

“Your ear piece wasn’t on until Komui called,” Kanda pointed out. “Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone disturb us next time.”

“N-next time?” Lavi repeated. He then thought of something. “Only if you wear a kimono!”

“You’ve got a deal. I have one in my room I rarely wear.”

“I-I was teasing!” Lavi said. He hadn’t expected Kanda to actually own something like that. “I l-like you a little, but this is a little too much.”

As Lavi spoke, Kanda got out of the spring. He stroked under Lavi’s chin. “Well, I’ll just have to get you to like me more before next time.” Lavi could only concentrate on Kanda’s hands. His mind was doing back flips. “I’ll get you to like me just as much as I like you.”

“H-how much do you like me...?” Lavi asked. He was completely seduced by Kanda’s rough hands.

“Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me,”5 Kanda breathed.

From anyone but Kanda, that would have sounded corny, but to Lavi, they were the most romantic words he’d ever heard. He practically melted into Kanda’s arms. “Okay, I’m seduced.”

Kanda kissed down Lavi’s neck and his hands went around Lavi’s waist. Lavi felt him tug at his pants.

“Not ready for that!” Lavi cried, smacking his hand away. “God, I feel so violated!” He covered up his bare chest with his arms like a self-conscious girl. “And stop undressing me with your eyes!”

“Can’t help it!” Kanda said with a shrug. “You’re just so cute right now.”

“Never on the first date!” Lavi shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the samurai. “Wait, this isn’t even a date!” His mind was so muddled.

“Would you like to make it a date?” Kanda asked.

“I’d rather you make offers with your clothes on for now.”

“What about next week?” He pulled on his pants and jacket. They were still damp, but extremely warm.

“I’m waiting for you outside!” Lavi said, fleeing into the chilly sunlight. With the storm passed, it was starting to warm up.

Best day ever, Kanda thought as he followed Lavi. We should come back here some time. WITHOUT interruptions.

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1 Men’s egos are like light bulbs. One little “tink” and they get all defensive. Example: Manly parts. Comment on how they are, they’ll prove you wrong. Warning, don’t do this to actual people. It’ll turn out disastrous rather than funny like our fic.

2 Hint: later chapter!

3 Blatant ad for my other LavixKanda fic, “Nicknames.” Read it guys! It’s really good!

4 Oh God, we were thinking the exact same thing... O.o

5 We’re quoting Sarah Bernhardt here! Yay to the internet and search engines!

Pervert, pervert, pervert, pervert, YAOI! Yay!

You know, I’m not usually a fan of Yaoi, but I was actually cheering for Kanda... This was more of a Shonen Ai, though, when you think about it. Nothing really happened... Or at least, there weren’t any real details.

All right, I’m the pervert.

Anywho, I’d like to thank my mom for the men’s egos quote in the first A/N. ...Anything for you, Shim?

I want a hot spring now... And maybe Allen... With no interruptions.

God, there must be something wrong with us if we keep thinking this stuff. Well, if I can advertise my fic, you can advertise your “Once Upon a Wish.”

Hey, it’s our personal gutter. We can pollute it as much as we want. As for me and you, we gotta start cleaning our gutters... Every week or so.

Anywho, I typed it and came up with ideas. Shim helped with ideas. If you see any mistakes grammar or spelling-wise, tell us. Thank you!