Author's note: Okay, just a warning: This is the saddest fanfic I have ever written. I was crying so much when I wrote the last sentence. I don’t know if you will cry as well, but that’s just my warning. Another thing is that this is the first time I’ve ever written a fanfic in present tense. I usually hate writing in this tense, but it seems to work for this one. I was feeling very depressed and sad last night and I ended up writing this to vent out those emotions. I tell ya, projecting my sadness onto Hidan isn’t fun;-; I feel horrible when I write depressing situations for him to deal with. So without further adieu, I hope you enjoy it and leave a review on your thoughts. I’m very curious.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, fanfics like this wouldn’t happen.

Hidan knows deep in his heart that Kakuzu would never betray him. He knows this very well. And yet there’s that lingering terror that maybe Kakuzu’s finally had enough; that he doesn’t want to have to deal with Hidan’s constant need for attention.

It hurts him to think like this because he really, truly understands Kakuzu. Or so he likes to think. They’ve been together for so long. Hidan knows what angers Kakuzu and what makes him happy. He even knows what turns him on. But he doesn’t know what he feels. He doesn’t know if Kakuzu is bored with him. It scares the silver-haired man to think that the only person in the world he could love more than Jashin could betray him. Hidan knows that if Kakuzu were to ever decide to end what they have, he’d never recover. There were too many memories for him to forget.

There’s a sharp pain in his heart when he thinks of what could happen. It’s not a pain he enjoys. Emotional pain and physical pain are very different for him. He has a nightmare occasionally where Kakuzu will abandon him one day, effectively breaking the immortal man’s heart. Hidan wakes up crying all the time and holding onto Kakuzu as tight as he can. He needs reassurance then the older man will always be there.

Hidan can feel the salt of his tears building up in his eyes. He hates crying. He doesn’t do it in front of anyone if he can avoid it. He’s built up an image of a tough guy who can handle anything. Crying over love is stupid…or so he thinks. Now he’s not so sure. The image of Kakuzu leaving him forever isn’t one he wants to remember. Kakuzu is supposed to always be there. Leaving him alone would be a huge betrayal.

Hidan then turns on his side in his bed and cries. He cries silently, hiccupping and sniffing. He doesn’t understand why. He shouldn’t feel like this for anyone, let alone Kakuzu. But he does; he loves the other man so very much. He’s given up everything to be with him. Hidan feels around for his Jashin pendant and holds it tightly in his hand as he holds his pillow. “Jashin-sama…please guide me,” he whispers. “Please help me through this. I don’t fucking understand this stupid love shit but it fucking hurts like hell, seriously.”

And then Kakuzu walks in and sees him curled up on the bed. He sighs. “What the hell is wrong with you now, Hidan?” he growls.

Hidan’s body stiffens. “Shut the fuck up,” he snaps back. He bites his lip nervously.

Kakuzu shrugs and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. Hidan isn’t sure what compels him to do it, but he doesn’t ask questions. He quickly sits up and wraps his arms around Kakuzu’s shoulders. The other man tenses up and glares over his shoulder. “What are you doing?” he snarls irritably.

Instead of answering, Hidan nuzzles him gently. Just feeling the warmth radiating off his body is enough to steady his nerves. Kakuzu eventually relaxes. He’s used to Hidan showering him with affection. He doesn’t mind it nearly as much as he used to. “Kakuzu,” Hidan mumbles suddenly.

“Hmm?”

“You’d never leave me…right?”

There’s a long pause. Kakuzu turns around and stares at Hidan intently. “Leave you?”

“Like betray me,” he says with a blush while looking away.

“What makes you ask that?”

“I dunno…I just keep having this fucking nightmare where you leave me forever, okay? And it’s…it’s scary.”

Kakuzu’s expression softens. He hooks his fingers under Hidan’s chin and turns his head to face him. “You’re the single most annoying fucking person I’ve ever met and I want to kill you someday….but I’d never leave you, Hidan.” Hidan’s eyes begin to water but he holds back the relief he feels. Kakuzu then leans forward and kisses him. It’s not a rough, demanding kiss that he’s used to. This one has love and passion behind it. Hidan gladly welcomes it and wraps his arms around Kakuzu’s neck, deepening the kiss.

The older man lowers Hidan onto his back, breaking the kiss and moving down to his neck. Hidan moans his name. “Kuzu, I swear to Jashin I love you too fucking much,” he grumbles softly. “Don’t ever break my heart, seriously.”

Kakuzu smirks. “You mean it’s possible to break an immortal?”

“Don’t get any ideas,” he pouts.

“Relax.” He kisses the silver-haired man’s forehead softly. “With our bad luck, we’ll be together forever anyway.”

Kakuzu has no idea how much those words mean to Hidan.

It’s been four days since Hidan and Kakuzu were ambushed by the Konoha ninjas. Hidan hasn’t heard from Kakuzu at all. His body is in pieces under the ground but he’s already begun his very slow healing process. There’s a dark corner of his mind that thinks Kakuzu was defeated. His heart, wherever it is in the rubble, is aching. Kakuzu should have come to help him by now.

“K-Kakuzu?” he calls. “Oi, assfucker! You up there? Stop playin’ around and get me outta here, seriously!” He waits. “…Kakuzu? Kakuzu!” There’s no answer. Hidan can feel his heart beating wildly. “Seriously, Kakuzu, this isn’t funny! Answer me, man!” He chokes out a sob as he stares at the little bit of light shining down on him. “Kakuzu…? K-Kuzu…? You didn’t leave me…did you?”

…I’d never leave you, Hidan.

“Liar…” Hidan whispers. His eyes fill up with tears and they begin to stream down his face.

With our bad luck, we’ll be together forever anyway.

“You fucking liar…”

Alone, in the Nara forest, an anguished cry is heard for the first and final time.