Gaius rubbed his eyes as he tried to take in what Merlin had just told him. It was too early in the morning for something like this.

“You’re saying,” he said as if the clarify the point, “that you have just had a dream similar to the one Morgana has been having.”

Merlin nodded. “It was the same dream but for a few things. I didn’t see myself in the dreams or anything...”

Gaius sighed, “This happens sometimes, things from life turn up in our sleep. You saw inside Morgana’s dream, looked at her dream. It’s been hanging around in your mind recently, it was only natural you might end up dreaming it yourself.”

“I know that,” Merlin said, rubbing his hands nervously. The shock of it made him feel on the edge. “But it was more than that. It was the feelings I had when I was sleeping and when I woke up.”

“What do you mean?” Gaius asked.

“It was like this feeling of... dread,” he said distantly, trying to choose the right words. “Like something had happened, or is happening...”

“You are worried about Arthur and Gwen,” the old man said, as if reminding him. “It is possible that your fears are affecting your sleep...” he pulled himself to his feet and walked slowly towards the work bench. “I’ll prepare you a sleeping draught.”

Merlin sat silently and thought about the emotions he felt when he had awoken. It was like dread personified had yanked him out of his sleep; he had gasped for air and his heart had been racing. It had been as if he had forgotten how to breathe.

His thoughts immediately turned to Morgana and how awful it had to be for her, waking like this frequently. Upon waking all he had been able to do was think of the dream: fire, blood and anguish. He had seen Arthur and Gwen just as Morgana had seen but none of those scenes in the forest that had included him. Gaius had said that seers could not see their own future in their dreams...

Merlin sighed, “I feel like a little kid who’s just had a nightmare.”

“Everyone has nightmares,” Gaius said understandingly. “It seems a lot of people are having trouble sleeping at the moment. Uther asked me for a draft to help him sleep earlier...”

“Hmm,” Merlin murmured unsympathetically. “It must be hard work plotting to ruin people’s lives.”

“Merlin,” Gaius said firmly.

There was a loud crash at the door. Gaius nearly knocked over his remedy and Merlin’s heart skipped a beat. The two exchanged looks as Gaius strode to the door and opened it.

It was Morgana.

Merlin’s heart skipped another beat and throbbed painfully in his chest. His sudden tension did not escape Gaius. “Morgana,” Gaius said, as if surprised. “What brings you hear so early in the morning?”

Morgana looked at him with wide eyes, barely hearing what he had said as her mind was still dazed despite the long walk from her chambers to theirs. Her eyes quickly rested on Merlin. They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds before Gaius finally ushered Morgana into a chair.

“I can tell this is not just a social call,” Gaius said sarcastically.

“Oh,” Morgana said, snapping out of her daze, “Yes, I’m sorry to call so late but...”

“Why are you here?” Merlin asked. He was surprised at how calm his voice was, even laid back and uncaring. He quickly decided he disliked that tone and leant forward to sound more sincere, “I’m mean... what brings you here so early?”

Morgana tilted her head, “As if you don’t know.”

Behind them Gaius shook his head and went back to what he had been doing. “It’s just as well I’m making a sleeping draught.”

The young woman spun to look at Gaius and then back at Merlin, who said nothing. He didn’t need to say anything; it was all there in his face and in his eyes. A jolt of pain shot through Morgana’s heart as she quickly realised why he and Gaius had been awake at this time.

“You had a...?” she began.

Merlin nodded, “Yes...”

There was a short and awkward pause.

“I probably woke the same time as you did,” he went on, hugging his arms around him like a little child. “It was the same as your dream only slightly different. I couldn’t see myself in it or anything...”

Morgana shrugged, “Couldn’t that have just been a dream?”

“It’s the way I felt that swayed me,” Merlin confessed, reliving the emotions he went through. “When I saw Arthur and Gwen in that dream I felt sorrow, a raging sorrow and longing. Then when I saw the war scenes; the burning villages and screams of horses and battle cries I felt... disgusted.”

He covered his mouth as he relived the smells and sensations of burning wood, blood and metal.

He cleared his throat and finished saying, “I’m starting to realise why you could get so hysterical about seeing these things.”

Morgana felt sympathetic. For a long time she had wanted someone to share her misery, to understand what it was like to have the awful dreams she had but now she felt sad. Merlin had tried to help her with her dreams; first by trying to take them away and second by helping her to understand them.

She almost felt guilty, as if her influence had caused him to start having the dreams. Maybe it had. She didn’t know how the gift she possessed worked, whether it could rub off on somebody or whether Merlin had always had it but it had been mixed up with his other powers.

Maybe Gaius was right and it was just a dream. No matter what it was Morgana felt sad to see Merlin confused and disturbed. It made her feel frantic as he was usually the level-headed one of the two.

Gaius looked up from his work. He was adding extra ingredients to make the draught strong that it would hopefully knock both of them out so they would not have a recurrence of the dream in one night. With Morgana it was a possibility, but he wasn’t convinced yet that Merlin’s dream wasn’t just a nightmare.

He sighed as he filled up a bottle with the mixture for Morgana to take away with her and a cup for Merlin to take to bed with him in a moment.

“It’ll be fine,” Gaius told the young man, grabbing his hand and thrusting the cup into it. “I told you it was just a nightmare. Maybe it’ll teach you to not go rummaging around in people’s heads.”

He eyed Morgana and walked away to clear up the bench. Morgana looked at Merlin, “Do you suppose that’s why you had the dream, because you were inside my mind?”

Merlin shrugged, “I don’t know—it could be, but I don’t know. It just felt so real, more real than when I saw it in your head... it was like I was there. Oh, I can’t remember... more of it has slipped away than I thought.”

Morgana tilted her head. “That happens to me all the time,” she said before she smiled and gently tapped his arm. “It’s frustrating, isn’t it?”

Her hand felt cold through his thin night shirt. It sent a shiver through his arm and straight to his chest, just like every touch seemed to now.

“Very frustrating,” Merlin remarked

The two of them smiled at each other and laughed. Morgana once again rested her hand on his arm as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Then she realised what she was doing and pulled it away again.

It was due to Gaius’s hawk eyes watching them from across the room that told her to keep her hands to herself.

She folded her arms and sighed, “It does seem strange that both of us should wake at the same time from the same dream. It was almost... instinctive.”

The way she said the word ‘instinctive’ sent another sensation through Merlin. He even found himself crossing both his arms and legs to try and adopt a more relaxed posture.

“I suppose that what happens to ‘kindred spirits’,” Merlin finally said, glancing at the judging old man in the corner of his eye. “We’re always looking out for each other, even in our dreams.”

Morgana blushed. She found it so unbecoming of her to blush at something Merlin said but she couldn’t help it. The fear and uncertainty from moments ago seemed to have disappeared in a flash and was replaced with that old familiar bubbling feeling in her chest.

The thing that really made her blush was that they were flirting in front of Gaius, however mystifying they made it.

“Well,” she said after a brief pause of considering an answer for him, “you are like a guardian angel, aren’t you?”

This time Merlin blushed.

Gaius made a loud clutter as he put the bowls away, purposely breaking the atmosphere. As he watched the scene all he could think about was the dragon’s warning about allowing Merlin and Morgana to get too close.

The pair of them looked around them awkwardly as Gaius walked up to stand between them. “I think it’s time we all went to bed,” he announced.

Morgana swallowed, “Yes.”

Merlin watched her rise from her chair as Gaius handed her the extra strong sleeping draught. Even those small moments spoke volumes to him. He started to suspect his worst fears were being realised.

He looked at Morgana. “You should come straight here in the morning if you still continue to have the dream,” he then glanced at Merlin, who now looked sheepishly away, suspecting Gaius’s displeasure. “If Merlin has the dream again as well... then we’ll try and understand why, I promise.”

Morgana bit her lip and nodded gratefully. “Thank you, Gaius.”

Morgana preferred being alone with Merlin but she was glad that Gaius would help. It was clear the events of recent went beyond anything either she or Merlin understood. Besides, even if Gaius was there for their discussion of the dreams she would still have Merlin to herself while he taught her magic. She would make sure of that.

She and Merlin exchanged one last look. He gave her a small, friendly smile that nearly killed her. She hated this, what she was feeling, not being able to do anything about it.

He hated it too; his smile was evident of it. The moment she left through the door the smile disappeared.

Gaius’s eyes were still on the door but he could feel Merlin’s expression behind him. He turned around to see Merlin with his head down and face expressionless. He wasn’t thinking of anything, just feeling confused and exposed in front of his father-figure.

Eventually Merlin pretended tiredness and got to his feet, clutching the remedy in his hand. “I just take this before I go down, don’t I?”

Gaius nodded slowly. “That’s what you usually do with a sleeping draught, yes.”

Merlin sighed, the sarcastic tone not lost on him. He turned to go up to his room, muttering ‘good night’ under his breath when Gaius stopped him.

“Merlin,” the old man said firmly but calmly.

Merlin knew what this would be about. He turned around slowly and awaited the criticism. Gaius didn’t like to pry but he felt it had to be said, even if it was just to reinforce what the boy already knew.

“You should be careful,” Gaius finally said. “I know I have told you to be careful in regards to your relationship with Morgana before but this is different.”

Merlin shrugged and attempted to be naive to what he meant. “How is it different?”

Gaius sighed. “Just remember that—if you are even suspected of being anything more to Morgana than a servant that will be it.”

“I don’t know what you—”

“You know very well what I mean,” Gaius said confidently. “I understand how you feel. You’re about Morgana’s age and like you she has the gift; it’s only natural for you to feel a tad... infatuated—”

Merlin’s cheeks and ears burnt. “I’m not infatuated with Morgana!”

Gaius tilted his head, “Merlin...”

“I’m not,” Merlin said defensively. “We’re just... friends.” There was a long pause as they pair looked at each other in silence. The young man sighed, “Even if I did it wouldn’t matter. Like you said, I’m just a servant. I’m not an idiot, Gaius.”

“I know you’re not,” the guardian replied. “I’m just trying to protect you from getting hurt. Even if no one found out you both used magic, if the king suspected the two of you...”

“He won’t,” Merlin said firmly, trying to keep his face straight. “He won’t because there is nothing to suspect. The king thinks I’m an idiot and I don’t mind that. It keeps me alive.”

Gaius gave Merlin an almost pitying look, which Merlin hated. It was the ‘you can’t fool me’ look.

The young man sighed. “Gaius, I know you’re worried but... don’t be. Nothing can happen and nothing will happen, I swear.”

“In that case,” Gaius said finally breaking his momentary silence, “do you think it’s wise to continue teaching Morgana magic?”

Merlin folded his arms. “I already promised her...”

“Merlin...”

“Well I don’t see what difference it makes!” the warlock retorted quickly. “Gaius, I know what I’m doing. You just have to trust me.”

Gaius sighed, “I do trust you, Merlin. I just want you to remember that Arthur and Gwen were caught; you can't keep a thing like this secret.”

Merlin stood in silence, as if he had run out of words. He decided denial was the best course of action. He turned to enter his room and muttered, “I’m not keeping ‘a thing like that’ secret.”

The door softly clicked shut. Gaius wished there was something he could say to drag Merlin out of that infuriating denial. The truth was he knew that Merlin would resist the feelings he had as hard as he possibly could. Morgana’s will was weaker. That was what worried Gaius. She would eventually crack and if she went down she would probably take Merlin with her, and vice versa. She was her own worst enemy.

-

Arthur swiftly sat up after he reached over to the other side of the bed and realised Gwen was not there. It was still early. He wondered if she had left earlier than morning as per usual and he had spent through it as he quickly pulled himself up.

He didn’t have to look far as he saw her sitting half-dressed at the table across the room in silence. His heart settled the moment he saw her. She seemed to be in a world of her own. The thick light blue dawn-light lofted in from the window nearby, illuminating her skin and hair; she looked like an angel.

Arthur glanced down and saw Fach sleeping on the end of the bed. He was careful not to wake the little dog as he slipped quietly out of bed.

His eyes were focused on her as he pulled on his clothes. He didn’t think he had ever seen her a morning after making love before. It was always dark when they parted ways. Then there were the stolen moments that were taken when necessary and had no time frame.

If there was one thing Arthur resented about their situation it was that he had never awoken fresh with the pleasure from the previous night and Gwen still beside him. He knew that is was Gwen’s fear that woke her early; if not fear of discovery it was fear of Uther.

The closest Arthur had ever been to what he wanted was yesterday morning. It was the first time he had ever woken and Gwen had still been there with no indication of leaving. They had not made love the night before that morning but Arthur felt utterly content; he happy that she was there with him.

Arthur ran the back of his fingers down Gwen’s cheek. She looked up and smiled sadly up at him. He pulled out another chair and sat beside her.

“Are you alright?” It was a stupid question but it was out before he could think.

“I was thinking.”

Arthur reached over and took her hand. “You don’t regret staying last night, do you?”

“Why would you think that? I’ve stayed before.”

“I know but...” he said letting her hand go, “never with all eyes on us.”

“I wasn’t even thinking about that,” Gwen confessed. She sat hunched up on the chair, wrapping her arms around her legs. “I was thinking about your father.”

Arthur could help but bite. “Well whatever works for you...”

Gwen groaned in disgust and batted him playfully. “I meant what he said to you last night. I want you to be careful.”

Arthur sighed. “I’ve told you before that he can’t do anything against my will even if he is the king. He can’t legalise the engagement unless he has my signature on the contact... and I won’t sign anything unless I’ve read it first.”

“He could overrule you,” Gwen told him. “He is the king.”

“There is nothing to overrule,” Arthur told her. “There is no new and official alliance stating that I have to marry Elaine, and there’s not going to be. Not if I can help it.”
“And I can’t help worrying about you,” the young woman protested. “If anything happened to you because of me I’d never forgive myself.”

Arthur chuckled, thinking her ‘protest’ was a little extreme.

“He may be the king but he’s still my father,” the prince told her. “He needs me more than he needs any alliance so what’s the worst he could do?”

His face then became more serious. “I’m more concerned about you—if anything happened to you because of me I’d never forgive myself. I’d never forgive him.”

“The threat was aimed at you,” Gwen reminded him. “He may not be able to force you to marry Elaine or kill you for disobeying him but he can still deprive you of your freedom; he can still make your life miserable.”

“He’s already making my life miserable!” Arthur snapped. He thought of what his father had said the previous night. Arthur had held back his anger last night but it was starting to resurface.

He reached over and ran a finger down Gwen’s arm, the contact making her shiver with light pleasure. “You’re one of the few things that keep me going.”

“You know I feel the same,” Gwen said quietly, and looked into his eyes. “That’s why I couldn’t bear to see you suffer.”

Arthur rubbed his eyes and shook his head. “The worst he can do is shut me up in the dungeons.”

“Is that it?” Gwen said sarcastically.

“He’s just hoping I’ll give in and do as he wants.”

“Going to the dungeons is still suffering...”

The tone changed almost immediately as Arthur made a flirtatious smile. “Oh I don’t know, it’s not the first time I’ve been thrown in there. It’ll remind me of old times, like our first conspiracy together.”

Gwen tilted her head questioningly before she remembered the infamous incident of the flower, the guard and the bread. “That guard chased me right up those stairs before I managed to duck into an alcove and lose him.”

“You always could think on your feet,” Arthur went on, stilling smiling.

Gwen chuckled. She got to her feet and stood in front of him. “One would think you enjoyed bondage.”

Arthur looked up at her, inclined his head to one side and smiled slyly. He reached to take her by the hips and pulled her onto his lap. “It’s funny you should say that...”

Gwen wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a long-lasting kiss on his lips. Her previous thoughts that had woken her were buried and forgotten. She broke the kiss and smiled, “You’re terrible.”

Arthur said nothing. He cupped Gwen’s chin and pulled her in the resume the kiss, this time inserting more passion. He moved his hands down her back to bring her closer and she moved her own hands to his face to keep their mouths locked together.

When they broke the kiss they remained with their foreheads and noses touching, the heat of their breaths brushing against their faces. Arthur’s eyes met Gwen and he smiled again. “Let’s go back to bed,” he whispered.

Gwen did not protest and willingly murmured her approval with the suggestion. She saw no reason to deny herself or Arthur of the joys they had previously taken advantage prior to their discovery when there was still risk if not more.

She pushed the threat Uther had made to Arthur of ‘knocking sense’ into him at the back of her mind and allowed Arthur to carry her back to the bed. Although she’d never voice her fears out loud, she wondered now each time they were together whether it would be the last time.

-

The next time Merlin awoke it was light. As with last night he was jolted out of his sleep by the dream. It had not taken him by surprised as it had last night. He had expected to have it again despite having never had dreams or nightmares like it before. The feelings he felt were nonetheless damning.

Merlin rubbed his face of the sweat and smoothed his hands through his hair to try and tame its bed-head style. Then he slipped out of bed and opened the door to see if Gaius was awake.

The next room was silent and Gaius was still dozing in bed. Merlin decided to let him sleep longer as for the last two nights Gaius had lost sleep due to him. He owed a lie-in to him.

It reminded Merlin of what Gaius had told him the previous night about Morgana; that he should be careful, that he knew what he was feeling. He blushed. Even the thought of it made him feel exposed and foolish. He felt like an idiot for feeling the way he did and it embarrassed even more that Gaius knew about it.

He pushed it to the back of his mind.

Merlin closed his door and went to sit at the small table in the corner of the room. He kept the books Gwen had lent him on chivalry, weaponry and armour to help him fulfil the ridiculous duties that were entailed in being the prince’s manservant. As well as that there were some educative books that Gaius had given him to study, which Merlin considered looking at briefly before he had to get up.

But that thought didn’t last long.

He scooted over across the room and threw himself across his bed to access the loose floor board where he had hidden his spell book and various other things.

Beneath the spell book there were spells and charms written in his hand on fair quality paper. He pulled them out and laid them in front of him on his bed. They were simple spells such as fire spells, water spells, wind spells, spells involving objects and little charms for minor ailments. In all there were twenty pages.

Merlin had mastered them swiftly and quickly. He assumed it was due to his natural gift and his instinct for magic. It was harder for Morgana and took longer. It would take him years to get her up to scratch with some of the spells he could do, but he didn’t mind.

He blushed again, and then groaned. He hated feeling this way. All he ever wanted to do was find someone who shared the same experiences that he did. He had waited so long for Morgana to realise what she was or find out what he was just so he could talk to her about it.

Now they were alone in their secret, they kept each other company in solitude but their feelings for each other were changing.

That made it worse.

Merlin knew that Morgana felt it too. He could feel it in her when she spoke, looked at him or smiled. He knew that she knew about him too. It made it all seem so complicated. Merlin felt that he might have been able to ignore his feelings had they been unrequited.

He wrote guiding notes by the lines of the spell, explaining pronunciation, saying where emphasis was needed as well as adding his own improvements. Merlin felt rather smug when he did this. After doing a spell several times he sometimes found ways to improve the spell’s effectiveness and he loved sharing it with Morgana while he was teaching her.

Merlin put the pen down and sighed.

He wanted to keep teaching her but he was worried that his feelings would distract him. He sometimes wished Morgana was plainer then he wouldn’t be prone to staring at her all the time. It was even all the more awkward when he caught her looking at him too. He felt flattered but awkward.

He bunched all the pieces of paper together once he finished adding notes. His intention was to give them to Morgana when he was finished but there were still some more charms and spells he wanted to write up. He would then advise her in where was the best place to hide her ‘stash’ of magical implements.

Merlin wondered if Gaius was right, if he should put a distance between Morgana and him at least until the feeling went away. The trouble was that it never stopped. It wasn’t like an innocent crush or infatuation. It was partly that but it was something else. There was a connection, something that went beyond simple affection. It seemed to bind them together like it was destiny.

All he could do was live with it; he could do that.

-

Arthur decided to walk Gwen home. They both knew they had to face the world and walking through a town where everyone knew they were lovers seemed the best way to face and overcome their demons. It was like going into a room coated of cobwebs to cure a fear of spiders.

There was another reason Arthur insisted on walking her home. He felt that his very presence would deter the nobility in particular from throwing insults at her or saying things just loud enough for her to hear. They cared about their positions and wouldn’t risk calling Gwen a ‘common little floor scrubber’ within his ear shot.

Gwen had protested initially. “I need to face them too” Arthur told her, pulling on his boots. “We should face them together. It’s us they’re talking about, not just you. It’s both of us.”

“Yes, but you can get away with it” she said smiling despite her worry. “You’re the prince—no, never mind that—you’re a man!”

“Guinevere—”

“I hate it when you say my name like that!”

“It gets your attention, though.”

Walking through town was surreal. The strangest thing was that Gwen felt calm and undeterred. The city was just waking up and the people setting up their stalls or sweeping their thresholds looked up and watched as she and Arthur walked passed. She wondered what they were thinking, whether they thought the same of her as the people at court did.

Gwen had never been so thankful that her house was moderately close to the castle. The moment she opened the door Fach rushed in, seemingly happy to be home. It probably made little difference to a dog in reality.

Arthur stayed by the door. He did not want to show Gwen up, knowing that in the public eye of the people he had to be the perfect gentleman. Not that he would have done any different anyway.

Inside Gwen looked around the room. It occurred to her that she had not actually lived in this house for the past two days. It had been more like a base camp, somewhere to freshen up in after spending the night at the castle. If it wasn’t to be with Arthur then it was to comfort Morgana after a nightmare.

Gwen wondered if she was starting to become detached from the simplicity of the life she led before when her father was still alive, and whether it was a bad thing that she was changing, evolving.

“Could you pull the door a jar?” Gwen called over to Arthur by the door. “I want to get changed.”

Arthur did as she said. He was weary of the early risers passing by the house and seeing him there. They didn’t seem surprised to see him and some even smiled at him. It was a far cry from the hissing of gossip and laughter in the castle.

Eventually the door opened again and Gwen poked her head out. “I’m decent now,” she said with a smile. “Why are you standing outside?”

“To amend the damage I may have done to your reputation,” he said, smiling back.

She opened the door fully and stepped to one side. “It’s rude to leave people waiting on the doorstep,” she told him. “Just leave the door open.”

Arthur remained at the front door looking into the house as Gwen put down some food and water for Fach. His eyes scanned the room, moving from Gwen, to Fach and to the walls that had only been redone that summer.

“They’re not leaking any more, are they?” he asked.

Gwen looked up. “No, they did a good job on the walls and the roof.”

Arthur remembered how awkward Gwen had been when he had insisted on having the entire thing redone after he had seen her emptying pots and pans of rain water after a particularly wet week.

Gwen leant over her bed to open the shutters to let in some fresh air one something glistening on the shelf above her bed caught Arthur’s eyes. He reached over, passed Gwen who stopped to watch as he picked up the small ornament. It was the silver fairy.

“I remember this,” he said, admiring it in his hand. “Cador gave it to you, didn’t he?”

Gwen felt a twang in her chest. “I’m surprised you remember, frankly. Yes, Cador gave it to me... before Gorlois died and he became the Duke of Cornwall.”

“It was after your mother died,” Arthur remembered and she nodded. He ran his fingers across the tarnished metal. “Wasn’t it in a box or something?”

“Yes,” she replied, and knelt beside her bed to get it out from underneath. “The silver fairy statue was inside. I remember you were the one who gave it to me; we interacted more in those five minutes than we ever did for the next fourteen years.”

Arthur briefly glanced up at her before he handed it back to her. His eyes rested on the box, “That’s changed a lot since I last saw it.”

“The paint is wearing off and I lost the key years ago,” Gwen admitted. “But it still serves its purpose.”

“What do you keep in it?” he asked.

She ran her hand across the surface looking at the worn pattern before she looked up again, “Your letters.”

Arthur felt a shudder go through him although he managed to conceal it. It still embarrassed him that he couldn’t express his feelings for Gwen in words as he could in writing. The irony was that he had been there when Cador gave her that box; never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that one day it would contain his only attempt at being romantic.

Gwen put the box back under the bed and placed the silver fairy back above her bed. “Come on, let’s go,” she said getting to her feet. “I have to get to work and you’re on guard duty.”

“Yes, darling,” Arthur said jokily.

As they made their way back to the castle all the surrealism from before flooded back once again.

The city was happily carrying on around them. Gwen heard no snide remarks from the artisans plying their trades or the people taking advantage of these services before the late morning rush.

They still turned to each other and talked, but there was no malice. A few of them were smiling, similar to the way her other servants had done yesterday morning when she felt at her most vulnerable. The sight of she and Arthur together seemed to please them for reasons Gwen had no idea.

A child stopped to stroke Fach. The little dog was thrilled by this, holding her head to the ground with her tail wagging, and was worked up by their enthusiasm.

When they reached the main entrance to the courtyard Arthur leant over to whisper in Gwen’s ear, “Was that really Camelot we just walked through, or some fantasy town in the otherworld?”

In the courtyard they passed the familiar faces of the castle on their way to work. They crossed the paths of Sarah and Erec who both nodded respectfully, “Hi, Gwen. Good morning, sire.”

Gwen looked up at Arthur. “I don’t know but I hope it lasts until the end of the day; I have shopping to do in town.”

They saw Merlin striding across the courtyard on his way to work, unawake that Arthur was just west of him.

“Merlin,” Arthur shouted firmly.

He was genuinely taken by surprise. “Arthur,” he said, forgetting formalities as always. “Gwen!”

“Good morning,” Gwen said politely.

“Where are you going?” Arthur questioned him.

“To your chambers,” Merlin replied with obviousness. He was distracted by Gwen presence with Arthur and wondered what had happened for them to be walking along the street together. He dared not ask, though. “I thought you’d still be there.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, with the same tone of obviousness, “what do I always do on a Tuesday?”

“Err,” the young servant thought, “y-you go on guard duty with Sir Kay and Sir Percival?”

Arthur nodded his head. “And where do we always meet?”

“Err, the field beside the castle?”

“Exactly,” Arthur said sarcastically. “We meet on the training field, so, where should you be going?”

“To go and get your armour?”

Arthur turned to Gwen. “I think he’s got it.”

“Don’t be mean!” Gwen scolded lightly. “I really need to go to work myself. I’ll see you later.”

She snapped her fingers to encourage Fach to follow. As she moved to walk away Arthur caught her by the arm. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine!” Gwen said. She was starting to get irritated by him constantly asking that question. She sighed and shook her head, “I told you I’m a grown-up girl. Nothing can top how horrible yesterday was; things can only get better now.”

Arthur nodded and, to the surprise of Merlin and a few onlookers, he kissed her on the cheek.

-

It was a late Wednesday afternoon when a tired messenger finally reached the gates of Eidin

The royal residence of Eidin in Gododdin overlooked the proud settlement that King Lot himself had founded and built nearly thirty years ago. It was usually used as a winter retreat but with the conflict in Rheged Gododdin was a critical point. It was used to secure the west and stop Claudius and the rebels pushing into the south through Strathclyde or Bryneich.

As the weeks went on more and more people from the wreck of Rheged fled to follow their fallen king Urien for the continued protection of the family. Many were willing to take up arms and fight Prince Claudius and the invaders. This enlarged Lot’s already swelling army.

With the amount of men stationed in Eidin there was no chance Claudius would risk attack. Lot had left with Urien leaving Gawain in charge of nearly a thousand men to protect the kingdom. It was a large responsibility for a young man barely twenty but Lot saw it as good experience for Gawain. Soon a full-scale war would break out and he would have to lead his own men into battle.

Queen Anna sat in the large study that overlooked the main courtyard dealing with the matters of state. She had always been politically minded even as a girl but during her younger years very few people took her seriously. It had taken Lot until after their second son to trust Anna with minor the affairs of state. Now, he left everything to her while he went out conquering the Picts, the Scots, the Irish and anyone else who annoyed him.

Anna stretched her cramped hand. She had been trying to get through the domestic policies since lunch time and hadn’t even touched the foreign policies. Her popularity came from the fact she valued the domestic approach.

There was a knock at the door.

“Come in,” she called.

A smartly dressed Pict messenger entered. “A messenger from Camelot has arrived, ma’am” he said.

Anna continued to rub her hand, “From Áedh or the king?”

“I am not aware,” the man said honestly. “The messenger is awfully tired; it seems he barely stopped between Camelot and Eidin.”

“It’ll be from Uther then,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Allow the messenger to rest and bring him to me as soon as he is able.”

The man nodded, “Of course, majesty.”

Anna looked back to her work as he left. She picked up the quill but after a minute of staring blankly at a page on crop quotations she placed it down again and decided to take a break.

She slipped out of her chair, stretched her arms and then brushed down her fine silk dark blue dress. Close by to the side of her there was wall of full length mirrors. They had been there since before Anna married Lot and she had never understood their purpose. She assumed it was because the mirrors made the room seem larger, like it would go on forever.

Anna never stopped to admire her own reflection. She used to annoy Igraine by rarely brushing her hair properly and continuously wearing the same dress. She remembered sitting in front of a mirror as her sister dragged a brush through her hair. ‘Don’t you think it’s time to throw that dress away?’ Igraine had said, to which Anna asked her if she would mind her walking around the castle in just her chemise.

Anna smiled at the memories when she noticed a flicker of movement behind her. She looked over at a pair of velvet blue drapes at the side of the room that led into the Privy Council room.

She smiled. “I know you’re there. Out you come!”

At her request a small boy of seven years dressed in a grass stained tunic emerged from behind the curtains.

Anna rolled her eyes. “Gareth, you shouldn’t be playing in here.”

The little boy smiled up at her, “I was playing hide and seek, mama.”

“You should be out in the garden playing it,” Anna told her son firmly. “Are your sisters inside as well?”

“No, they’re still in the garden.”

“That’s not a nice thing to do,” the queen told her son. “They’re probably still looking for you.”

Gareth groaned, “They’re playing with dolls! I’d rather play with Gawain.”

“Gawain is busy at the moment,” Anna said, kneeling in front of her young child to brush the grass from his tunic. It was no good—he would have to change later. “He will play with you later I’m sure.”

She then regained her smile and walked over to open the balcony doors. Outside she could see Gawain training with the knights of Eidin. Gareth wandered to her side. He was quite small for his age and could barely see over the stone wall.

They both watched as Gawain tried to demonstrate an attack method to them and his younger brother Agravain. The knights all watched in interest as Gawain swiftly disabled the knight who then lay wincing on the ground as Gawain explained what he had just done. Gawain’s lightness on his foot and with a sword was a remarkable thing; it gained him the nickname ‘Gwalchmai’ – ‘The Hawk of May’.

Anna turned to go back inside. “If you want to do something useful,” she told her youngest, “you can fetch in your big brother for me; I need to talk to him.”

“Yes, mama” Gareth said. He then turned to look over the balcony and shouted at the top of his voice, “Gawain! Mother wants to speak to you!”

Anna spun around at the sound of Gareth’s young and childish voice calling to the courtyard below. The sound of the knights, Agravain and Gawain all laughing lofted up.

She laughed, “I could have done that myself!”

Gareth just turned and smiled sweetly. He was very much like Anna when she was that age—cheeky and loud when in full view but quiet and allusive when he desired. He was just a child yet he had already mastered the art of hiding where no one could find him.

“Mother!” echoed a voice from grounds below.

Anna went out and looked over the side where Gawain was looking up. “Is it urgent?”

“I need to discuss something with you,” she called back, before changing her tone to address both her sons. “It’s time you both came in and changed; it’ll be supper time soon.”

The issue Anna wished to discuss with Gawain was an important one regarding their immanent visit to Camelot. It was important that everything was in place before they got there.

That reminded her.

“I’ll have to make sure your nurses have packed everything you’ll need for your trip,” Anna said suddenly.

She was referring to the imminent return of the ‘little trio’ to Orkney. The nickname ‘little trio’ was the collective term Anna used to refer to the twins and Gareth, the three youngest children, while she used ‘big trio’ to refer to Gawain, Elaine and Agravain.

Lot had advised his wife that the ‘little trio’ should return to Orkney before the autumn set in so they would be out of Claudius’s reach, beyond the Pictlands. This was much to the annoyance of younger children, in particular the youngest Gareth. Agravain was also annoyed as his father informed him that he too would go to ‘look after’ the younger ones.

Only Anna, Gawain and Elaine would remain in Eidin, and this would only be for a short time; they were off to Camelot in a week’s time. Agravain wished that he could go too, another seed in his resentment at only being the second born son. Not that he resented Gawain being the first born and heir; he simply resented that his father saw him as ‘second best.’

“Do I have to go?” Gareth stropped.

“Yes,” Anna said firmly. She then sat down and pulled Gareth closer to her to fix his messy flaxen hair remove dirty marks from his face. “No one will be here in Eidin because your brother, sister and are going to Camelot to see grumpy Uncle Uther.”

He giggled. He did not remember Uther as he had been just three when he last saw him.

If Gareth wanted anything in his life, it was to be a knight. He had heard many stories of the knights of Camelot, and of his elder cousin Arthur, and he longed to go there. He barely remembered any of it but he wished he could go.

“But it’s boring in Orkney,” Gareth complained. “I’ll have no one to play with.”

“You’ll have your sisters and Agravain,” Anna corrected him.

“Clarissant and Norcadet are girls,” the seven-year-old sulked. “And Agravain isn’t as fun as Gawain.”

Anna sighed. “There are plenty of children in Orkney—you can play with them.”

“I wish I could go with you,” he confessed miserably. “I hate being on my own and Agravain is always mean to me.”

“I know,” she replied. “But he’s only doing it to look after you besides,” she went on, “If this were a family trip all of us would be going to Camelot but it’s political. It would be no fun for you.”

“Yes mama,” Gareth said with a look of defeat.

The door opened and Gawain walked in, his skin was glossy from the sweat and dirt of training. He was still smiling as always despite the fact that he knew whatever his mother had to tell him was important.

Gareth ran up to him and Gawain picked him up, straining his breath as he did. He swung him around a little as he always did before he placed him down again. “Hi there,” he said cheerfully. “You’re getting too big for this!”

Anna folded her arms and watched them. She was proud of Gawain; he was the ideal older brother to Gareth and the twins even if he frequently squabbled with Elaine. He loved his siblings. In that respect he reminded her of Tristan, who had only ever loved three women in his life and two of them were Igraine and herself. But that was where the similarities ended.

“It’s time you went and got changed,” she said to Gareth, although she thought it about both of them. “You too, Gawain, after I’ve spoken to you.”

Gawain nodded before smiling down at Gareth. “I’ll see you at dinner, okay?”

Gareth nodded, “Can we play a game later?”

“Sure, after dinner,” Gawain promised.

Satisfied, the little boy walked independently out of the study and towards his own chambers. As he did the sound of the lively castle wafted in and remained until he closed it again. Once Gareth was gone Gawain turned back to his mother.

“Have Clarissant and Norcadet come in yet?” Anna said. Although she was a queen she was still a mother. “I don’t want them staying out in the sun too long.”

“Agravain and I passed them on the way in,” Gawain replied, pulling off his gloves to wipe his brow. “They were hassling Elaine to braid their hair.”

“Ah,” Anna said, sitting down behind her desk again. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Gawain tucked his gloves into his belt and put his hands behind his back. “You want to talk about Elaine?”

“Our imminent trip to Camelot,” Anna said.

“Oh,” Gawain said.

His voice suddenly became more serious. He had wanted to talk to his mother about that too. Over the last few weeks Gawain had tried to approach his father on the subject. Lot was always busy, only ever coming to Eidin to freshen his troops, and every time he told Gawain ‘Talk to your mother.’

He was speaking on behalf of Elaine, who was not enamoured with the idea of going to Camelot. He dare not repeat to his mother what she had said to him in regards to the idea of being queen of it one day. ‘It’s a wealthy kingdom, rich in food produce and precious metals’ Gawain had told her, to which Elaine had retorted, ‘Exactly—it’s a tin-pot little kingdom!’

Elaine didn’t really mind Camelot. It was just so far away from home.

Gawain did not voice Elaine’s reluctance to marry Arthur to his mother, she knew. Elaine had spent a good week ranting at her about it after their father told her during a rare family dinner. Instead, he decided to use the tactful approach he knew his mother was expecting him to use anyway:

“Mother,” he began. “Do you think this betrothal is really worth while?”

Anna began looking through her papers. “How do you mean?”

“Well,” Gawain went on, “you said you wanted to talk about our journey to Camelot. I wonder whether Elaine marrying Arthur will really solve anything in the long run. Hell, does it solve anything in the short run?”

Anna stopped but did not look up, “Probably not.”

Gawain slumped into the chair opposite the desk, “Then why put Elaine through this?”

His mother finally looked up at him. “Do you speak for our kingdoms, or Elaine?”

“Both,” Gawain said with proud certainty that made Anna smile. He leant forward, his eyes sincere. “Mother, if we take Elaine to Camelot now to sign the alliance she knows she’ll never leave. There’d be no point bringing her home.”

“I know,” Anna replied.

“Mother,” Gawain said, perplexed by her calm behaviour. He knew his mother well to know she was the ultimate fixer and planner but he still felt het up when she was like this.

After a long pause Gawain finally spoke again. “Elaine has been having those nightmares again... about father and Uncle Urien, and this marriage.”

“I know that,” Anna said stoically. “I have as well.” Gawain said nothing, and his mother went on. “But we don’t talk about it, do we?”

“No, mother” he said in a defeated tone.

This was one of the other things that worried Gawain. Lot hated the old religion just as much as Uther did, but Anna wasn’t always going to be in Camelot to protect Elaine should she be discovered.

Gawain regained himself and changed the subject slightly. “And there’s Arthur to think about too. I doubt he’s too excited about marrying Elaine...”

Anna picked up a piece of paper and looked at it. “He certainly isn’t.”

“What’d you mean?” he said, glancing at the piece of paper.

“This,” she said holding it level with her head, “is what I mean.”

Gawain tilted his head. “How do you mean? What is it?”

Anna smiled. “It’ll certainly put your mind at rest in regards to your sister’s position in Camelot...”

She handed it to him and watched as he read the parchment. He looked up at her now and then as he went through it quietly. Once he had finished his head shot up to look at her, “Mother, is this--?”

“Yes,” she replied with a nod of the head. “You must keep this to yourself for now. Only you and I know. However in order for this to work... I’m going to need your help.”

-

After a week of hurling insults and snide remarks about Gwen behind her back and to her face the nobility were finally starting to lose interest in trying to upset her, although they still treated her nastily. They were like the bullies she encountered as a girl; once they could no longer provoke a reaction out of her, they got bored and moved on to someone else.

They believed that Arthur was going through a phase before his eventual marriage to Elaine and that he would dump her once the novelty of Gwen’s lower class wore off. That assumption annoyed Arthur to no end, particularly as he feared Gwen might start to worry that was true.

The common people of Camelot were completely different.

Whenever Gwen stepped outside the castle to take a walk in town it was like entering a parallel world. Away went the rolling eyes and wrinkled noses, and in came the smiles and ‘hellos’ with no tinge of jealousy or malice.

By Wednesday it was common knowledge to the people that the nobility treated Gwen with contempt due to her station as the prince’s sweetheart.

“They’re just jealous,” the cook had said to Gwen as they waited in a queue to buy some bread. “It’s not enough that they live in comfort with their fine clothes and fancy wears—they don’t understand that a prince might actually love a normal person like us.”

Whatever Gwen got up to with Arthur didn’t seem to bother the ‘simple folk’ as they were enchanted by the idea that someone of their station had overcome the odds and earned the love of the man who would one day be the most powerful in the kingdom.

There were the odd few young maids who resented what Gwen seemed to have just as there were some nobles who refused to be cruel and unkind to Gwen, such as Lady Bedivere. But they were few and far between as for the most part people were supportive, particularly those in Gwen’s neighbourhood.

Her neighbours were a couple with a daughter and they were particularly nice. The daughter had always looked up to Gwen because she was older and sensible, something the parents had always encouraged their daughter to be. Gwen had expected her neighbours to be disappointed in her but it was fine.

“I thought you’d want to keep Edith away from me when you heard,” Gwen admitted to the mother as the daughter stroked Fach.

“Don’t be silly!” the mother replied. “You’re a good girl, really. Edith and her friends, I think, look up to you even more now.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t realise before now...”

“To be honest I suspected for a while,” the mother admitted with a smile. “I had seen Arthur around here before and I did wonder...”

It wasn’t difficult given that Gwen’s whole roof had to be replaced. She could have asked the father next door to take a look at the room and he would happily have done so, so they naturally wondered why the prince gave a handmaiden such special attention.

Arthur found it funny that the people of Camelot accepted the news so easily, some of whom had suspected something and some that had brushed off the little hints over the last few months. “A far cry from my lot isn’t it?” he said.

The knights had taken it one step further and even seemed to accept of their leader’s low-born ‘girlfriend’. The nastiness had worn off on them quite quickly and, once the story of Lamorak’s humiliation got around, they were intrigued by the relationship. Never had Arthur ever threatened one of them because of a woman.

They found it amusing that Arthur of all people had been floored by any woman. It reminded them that all of them were susceptible to the effects of love should the right girl come along.

Gwen was to some of the knights a mascot. As the week wore on she became more confident about watching them practising without ridicule. The knights noticed that Arthur was a tad less violent and aggressive towards them when he knew she was watching. He would still beat them; he just didn’t beat them hard.

This helped the knights become very welcoming very quickly. Gwen had felt particularly embarrassed when Arthur and Merlin told her that they had raised a glass to her on one occasion.

“The only mouse to slay a dragon,” Kay had said wittily.

To which Arthur had quipped in return. “Believe me, Guinevere is not a mouse.”

On Friday afternoon Gwen met Arthur and Merlin in the courtyard as they had returned with the other knights from a ‘ramble’ in the forest. There were reports that a heavy storm was moving in on Camelot meaning that the afternoon hunt had to be cut short.

“How did it go?” she called to them as they approached.

“As good as it could be have with Merlin trotting along beside me,” Arthur snipped, glancing at Merlin, who pouted in response.

“That’s the gratitude I get for lugging your stuff around,” he retorted.

Despite their relationship being public and Arthur did not kiss her on the lips in public; not after doing so had exposed them. Neither of them minded as they knew they could have each other to themselves later in secret without having people in the castle and town gawping at them. Instead Gwen gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

“Oh,” she said to Merlin. “Morgana says she will come to see you and Gaius to collect that new sleeping draught. I know both of you have been having trouble sleeping.”

“Hmm” Arthur said, taking his place at Gwen’s side. “Funny that, isn’t it?”

Merlin tried to hide his blush through a scowl. They could talk through the dreams they had been having and ‘spot the differences’. The trouble was they had been unable to decipher anything new so far and ended up practising magic under the scowling brow of Gaius instead.

“I better get back,” he said, backing away from them. “Gaius wanted my help this afternoon anyway... if that’s alright with you?”

Arthur stood in silence with his head tilted, looking Merlin up and down, purposely making him wait for his decision. “Go on, then. I have better things to do anyway...”

“I’m sure you do,” Merlin commented under his breath, darting away.

“I heard that!” Arthur shouted after him. He turned to Gwen and rolled his eyes, “Can you believe him? Sometimes he seems to forget he’s a servant.”

Gwen chose not to hang that particular noose around Arthur’s neck. They didn’t need another reminder that they were shaking up of the ridged old status quo.

“It’s because you treat him like a friend,” she said instead. “It’s because he is your friend—you can’t expect a friend to lick your boots.”

Arthur draped his arm around her shoulders and sighed. “I suppose I would look like a hypocrite if I objected to that statement, wouldn’t I?”

Gwen looked up at him. “Just a bit, yes.”

“Then I shall not object,” he declared, and leant down to kiss her forehead.

Uther watched the exchange between his son and the girl from the window overlooking to courtyard. He tried to swallow his infuriation about them stirring up the gullible common people in support of their disgraceful affair.

There was a crash above them as the black clouds finally burst with rain, immediately hammering down on the people below. Everyone quickly moved to vacate the courtyard, many of them already drenched. Uther watched as Arthur and Gwen rushed through the side door and disappeared into the castle together.

He clenched his jaw.

Arthur had not only continued in his relationship with ‘the help’ but also ignored the fact he was due any moment to be engaged to a princess of the blood. It was humiliating, scandalous... and downright infuriating behaviour.

To the end of the week I told him! Uther thought angrily.

That was the most exasperating thing of all; Arthur seemed to have completely written off his father’s threat. Uther had given him until the end of the week to come to his senses and agree to his betrothal to Elaine.

It was now Friday and Arthur had not complied. He played it like a game of ‘call your bluff’, a game most people never tried to play with Uther due to his habit of doing exactly as he threatens.

Uther stepped away from the window; he had already called Arthur to see him that evening.

The urgency was added by the fact that Anna, Elaine and Gawain were all set to leave Eidin to come down to Camelot on Monday. This affair had to be resolved before then.

It angered Uther so much that Arthur didn’t seem to care about ritual humiliation before his own family.

He had received a new letter from Anna on Wednesday and had sent her a reply the very next day to ensure she received it as soon as possible before she left Eidin for Camelot. He was still surprised at how supportive and helpful she was, offering help in solving the problem. The issue of the handmaiden would be resolved soon.

Uther sent a request to see Gaius. He felt he would need his help for what was to follow. He felt a tinge of guilt about involving Gaius in this ‘mess’, but he knew he couldn’t do it without him.

-

The servants of Eidin loaded the luggage that the Queen and her two eldest children would need on the journey to Camelot while their travelling party, (a sprinkling of the finest champions not only in Gododdin but the whole of Hen Ogledd), and the royal bodyguards awaited the royal family to appear.

Two days ago Anna, Gawain and Elaine had all seen off the other siblings on their way back to Orkney.

The twin girls looked like little dolls as they had sat nervously in the carriage with their tenants. Elaine had platted their sandy coloured hair into two tight knots on each side of their heads to keep it neat and tidy for the journey.

Elaine hugged her two sisters goodbye before Anna kissed their cheeks and told them: “Behave yourself, listen to Agravain and be nice to Gareth.”

Gawain had come out with Agravain and Gareth. The youngest brother looked miserable to be leaving Eidin, still not excited about returning to Orkney. Gawain tried to cheer him up by reminding him that he would be going on the ship—but it didn’t work.

“Cheer up, you miserable brat!” Agravain had snapped rolling his eyes. “I don’t want to go to Orkney either but, tragically, that’s life.”

As Anna hugged her middle child goodbye she whispered in his ear. “Don’t be so hard on you little brother, Agravain.”

Once Gareth was tucked away in the carriage with his sisters and the nurses Anna, Gawain and Elaine watched as Agravain and the guard led the small party out of the fort gates of Eidin.

“Alpin,” the queen had called to the chief guard in change of the party, “get them to Orkney safe, or I’ll use the eyes of your son for my new earrings.”

Two days later and it was their turn. Anna was just finishing one last piece of business before she left, not wanting to return to a stockpile when she came home. The door then opened and Gawain walked in.

“They’re ready for us now, mother.”

Anna got to her feet. “Very well then, and is your sister ready?”

“As ready as she’ll ever be,” Gawain replied quietly. He then took a step forward, implying he had something to say. Anna took note immediately and waited. “Mother, don’t you think you ought to tell her?”

“I will tell her,” the queen replied, “but only when the timing is correct.”

“And that will be?”

“Not before we board the ship,” Anna confessed with a knowing smile. “I do not want old King Ceretic hearing about it during our brief stopover in Strathclyde, not to mention your uncle Urien.”

“If you want to keep it so secret why did you tell me?” Gawain asked. He folded his arms and looked down, “You could have had someone impartial to help you organise everything. It would have saved me a lot of pain.”

Anna walked up to Gawain and cupped his chin as mothers did. “I am very grateful, dear.”

Gawain managed a small smile as Anna walked by him to meet with their travelling party in the courtyard. She didn’t like involving Gawain in this business but she liked to think that, once everything worked out, he would receive some gratification from it.

-

The moment they were out of the public eye Gwen found herself swept up into Arthur’s arms before she knew what was happening. Even at this stage in their relationship his embrace literally took her breath away. Before she could question his sudden actions his mouth covered hers with quick, passionate kisses.

She instinctively responded despite having been taken by surprise, throwing her arms around his neck, running her hands through his hair... but she couldn’t shake the feeling something had to be wrong. She broke the kiss to talk and he, as if trying to silence her still, immediately pulled her close and moved his kisses down to her neck.

“W-what-what’s brought this on?” Gwen finally gasped out, distracted by his wandering lips. “If I didn’t know any better I’d accuse you of trying to butter me up.”

“Ah!” he said through trailing his mouth against the curve of her neck. “You,” he said in between the kisses, “have seen through my brilliant plan...”

“What’s going on?”

“Just,” he said, continuing as before, “enjoy the moment a little while longer...”

“Arthur!” Gwen said firmly, and the arms she had looped around his neck to push him away. “If it’s something important I want to know... now.”

Arthur pulled his lips away from her, still holding her in his embrace. He looked down at her and sighed. “Alright I’ll tell you,” he said, twisting his fingers through her hair. “My father wishes to speak to me this evening.”

Gwen looked down. “The week has gone so quickly...”

“It has.”

Her eyes met his again, hands still resting on his shoulders. “What do you think he’s going to do?”

“I don’t know...”

Suddenly, Gwen moved her hands from his shoulders to his face and pulled him towards her for another kiss. This time she took Arthur’s breath away, negotiating his mouth open to deepen their contact and coaxing a moan from his throat.

When the kiss was broken he looked at her through his eyelids. “Well,” he said clearing his throat, “that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.”

“It’s because I never know whether it’ll be the last time,” Gwen confessed.

Arthur closed his eyes tightly. “Don’t say that.”

“I can’t help it,” she swallowed. Gwen ran her hand across his jaw and managed to smile, “This past week I have been living every day as if it would be the last... well, I’d be a fool not to.”

Arthur took her hand from his face to hold it in his hand. “I’d never let him hurt you, I promise you that.”

“I don’t care about that,” Gwen told him, squeezing his hand with hers. She looked at him with a sort of sad happiness. “There is nothing else he can do to hurt me. I have nothing worth taking,” she then chuckled ironically, “The only thing that keeps me going is my love for you.”

“And you’re the one that keeps me fighting.”

Gwen shook her head and smiled, “You’d keep fighting whether I was here or not.”

“Maybe,” Arthur said, running his thumb over her knuckles. “But you give me the strength I didn’t know I had,” he took her other hand as he spoke. “That’s why I can’t let you go. I hate to think what I’d become without you.”

“Why?” she asked, tilting her head.

“You keep me moral,” he said with a faint smile, “and never lose faith in me.”

She tightened her hold on his hands, “Many people have faith in you.”

Arthur’s smile widened, and he freed one of his hands to brush back a loose strand of her hair. “But your faith is unshakeable no matter what.”

That was the difference. Arthur knew that many people had faith in him but it wasn’t like Gwen’s. Even when he was at death’s door she continued to believe in him. On reflection he might have given up then had she not stayed with him, held his hand and told him to keep living. She reminded him of what he should live for; Camelot.

He wished his father could understand that this was the reason why he just couldn’t marry Elaine. It needed to be Guinevere. In his heart and mind it had to be her. It had got to a point where he felt existence without her would be very empty. Even if life did go on it would have a gaping hole in it.

Arthur sighed loudly, “Oh Guinevere...”

He lent forward so his forehead would touch hers.

“Oh Arthur,” she said, copying his tone amusingly. They stood like that in silence for a moment, looking at each other. Eventually Gwen smiled again and freed one of her hands to touch his cheek, “Be careful.”

-

The rain had blacked out light. Gaius had to light the candles in order to illuminate the room. He stood by the window watching the rain fall and keeping his ears firmly primed on the conversation going on behind him. He listened as Merlin and Morgana discussed endlessly the mysterious dream and offered up interpretations for what it all might mean.

Merlin compiled a list of the things they had seen and made notes beside it based on what they had both felt and thought when they saw the images. There was nothing new to report on that front; only that as time went on the feeling of dread became stronger and stronger.

“The real question is why am I having these dreams?” Merlin finally said. He looked over his shoulder to Gaius, opening up the discussion to him. “I have never had prophetic dreams.”

“Maybe you didn’t realise before now?” Morgana suggested.

“We don’t know for certain what you both are dreaming is ‘prophetic’ yet,” Gaius corrected him, turning to look at both of them. “Nothing you have seen has happened yet.”

“But it’s going to happen,” Merlin said firmly. “You know there must be something to it.”

Gaius sighed and walked over, standing in between where they both sat. “Assuming that both of you are receiving this dream from a divine force then there is only one explanation I can think of,” he told them. “That is ‘r ddyfodol gwawchia.”

Morgana looked at him blankly. “And what is that in layman’s British?”

“It means ‘future scream’,” Gaius replied. “It’s a theory there used to be in the old days before the purges that when a time of great change is imminent those of... sensitive natures... sense the change collectively.”

“But only Merlin and I have the dream,” Morgana said.

Gaius shrugged, “You can’t be certain of that. There may be people all over Albion having this dream, slightly different to suit their situation, but the same. There may be people here in Camelot who have the dream but think it nothing but a bad dream.”

“And you think that it might be ‘r ddyfodol gwawchia?” Merlin asked.

“It’s just a theory,” Gaius admitted. “But it has happened before; the last time it happened was before the purges began.”

Both Merlin and Morgana’s blood turned cold. They looked at each other and then at Gaius. “You don’t think that...” Morgana began.

Gaius shook his head. “I doubt it—if this is about anything it’ll be the war about the break out in Hen Ogledd. Even Uther fears that it will spread down here to the south and engulf Albion in a full-scale war.”

There was a lump in Merlin’s throat. He had heard so much about this war from the knights, all boasting about how they would be proud to fight and how their fathers would ‘allow them to carry the family crest to glory’. It occurred to him sometimes that these brave young knights would do just that and be killed in battle, people that he had known, served and seen every day.

Merlin decided very quickly that he hated wars. He hated them with a passion.

“Why would we have these dreams if we cannot prevent them?” Morgana queried, breaking their long silence. “Merlin and I can’t stop a war.”

“You must understand that if it is ‘r ddyfodol gwawchia there is no way to prevent it,” Gaius explained to them. “The ‘future scream’ is an omen, a warning, a tip for what is going to happen before it happens. It is up to you to deal with the situation, not prevent it.”

Merlin shot out of his chair with sudden vim. “But you said yourself it was only a theory.”

Gaius nodded. “I’d say the best thing to do would be to try a very powerful sleeping draught on both of you and see how it affects your sleep.”

“Not another sleeping draught,” Morgana groaned.

“This one is different,” Gaius explained carefully. “It will send you to sleep within seconds of taking it. If this really is ‘r ddyfodol gwawchia then the dream will come regardless, and if not, you should both sleep right through and awaken from a dreamless sleep.”

“I’ve heard that before...” Morgana muttered.

Merlin nodded, “Frankly I’ll try anything.”

Morgana sighed, “Yes I suppose so.”

The young warlock then sighed also. “Whether it is ‘n ddyfodol gwawchia or not, It doesn’t explain everything such as seeing Arthur, and Gwen, and why Morgana sees me in her dream... or why we keep seeing Elaine in the dream,” Merlin said.

“Neither of you know for certain it is Elaine,” Gaius corrected him. “You said yourself the girl felt older than she looked.”

“So?”

“It is possible that the girl in your dream is not Elaine but someone else,” Gaius suggested, wondering how he could explain it so Merlin and Morgana could understand.

Morgana rolled her eyes, “Who?”

“That,” Gaius finished, “we can only guess... but I’d listen to your feelings. If the girl in your dream feels older then she probably is and she is just... a comparison.”

Merlin cleared his throat and chuckled. “It’s much easier to assume it is Elaine.”

“I’m just trying to help,” Gaius said, and threw his hands up. “Clearly my presence is annoying so I shall take my leave, for now. The king wishes to see me. You two behave yourself until I return.”

Merlin and Morgana looked at each other and smiled. They didn’t mind Gaius being there. In fact they welcomed it. It might have been much more awkward had he not been there. He kept them from letting their guard down or slipping into a dream-like trace where they could imagine anything was possible.

As Gaius left they looked away from each other and tried to hide their blushes.

“Maybe we should leave it for today,” Merlin suggested.

“Yes, maybe” Morgana agreed, folding her arms and clutching her elbows.

There was another moment of silence before Merlin reached over and took some of the unlit candles. He placed them in front of them and smiled. “Do you want to practise the fire spell again?”

“Are you sure?” Morgana said.

“I’m sure,” he replied, smile widening. “Just... don’t set fire to your hair again.”

-

That evening Arthur went to see his father in the council room. He paced outside a few times before he finally took the plunge and opened the door. His eyes immediately fell on Uther sitting at the head of the table with a goblet of wine and some official papers.

No doubt he’s been in another meeting with that shifty ambassador Áedh, Arthur thought.

Uther glanced up at him with his cold, steely eyes.

Arthur had made a point of avoiding his father the entire week, carrying out his duties within a good distance of Uther. They had stood right next to each other at one point during the week but not said a word. He was certain it had not escaped the notice of the nobility.

Looking back, Arthur regretted it—not because he felt he was being harsh to Uther, who had often given him the cold shoulder in the past, but because he knew his father would probably blame Gwen. He wasn’t going to let him do that.

Arthur stood at the other end of the table and listened as the doors closed behind him. “You asked to see me, father.”

Uther looked up again and sniffed. “I’m surprised you bothered to listen to me considering you have been deaf to my commands this past week.”

“Have I not completed my duties in the same manner I always have?” Arthur challenged, almost daring his father to lose his temper and get to the point.

Tragically Uther did not bite. “The manner in which you carried out your duties is irrelevant; you have humiliated yourself in front of the entire court.”

“Humiliated myself,” Arthur said, once again setting the challenge. “Or humiliated you?”

This time he bit. Uther’s eyes shot up, glowering with anger as the scar on his forehead seemed to increase in size within seconds.

“Idiot!” he snapped, and flew out of his chair, pointing an accusing finger at Arthur. “You speak as if you have no responsibility to this kingdom.”

“I have always—”

“If you had any sense you would see how you are damaging your position by cavorting with this girl,” Uther hissed.

“Damaging it?” Arthur snorted, and pointed towards the window. “The people of Camelot haven’t batted an eyelid. They’ve never been happier!”

“And you helped stir up the people,” Uther accused. “You and your ‘peasant princess’, both of you, stirring up the people to undermine my authority and everything I have worked for the past four months.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous!” Arthur groaned back, rolling his eyes and clutching the back of one of the chairs. “Why must you see everything I do as a personal attack on you?”

“Simply because it is,” Uther stated.

Arthur scoffed, “Believe it or not, father, I do not spend my days thinking up methods to defy you. I bearly thought of you at all this entire week, wanting to avoid your cold shoulder...”

Uther’s eyes widened, somewhat hurt by Arthur’s declaration. “My cold shoulder?” the king snapped back. “The fact you barely thought of me this week is evident by your erratic behaviour. You go against good judgement and have been made to look a fool by her.”

“She has a name!” Arthur shouted back. “Guinevere. Her name is Guinevere,” he told him, knowing how little his father cared. “Remembering that is the least you could do.”

Uther said nothing.

After a tense silence Arthur cleared his throat and said, “I have always done as you asked. There were many times that I abided your commands against my better judgement but not this time.”

“You have played right into her hands.”

“And you can’t stand that I won’t play into your hands, am I right?” Arthur accused disrespectfully. It made Uther twitch with fury. “Unlike the way you seem to have played into the hands of Lot.”

Uther’s glower became all the more terrifying, if it were possible. “How dare you!”

“And then there’s Aunt Anna,” Arthur suggested. “I imagine you danced into the palm of her hand and let her eat you with a spoon!”

That touched a nerve. It was bad enough that Uther could not second guess Anna and was relying on her support at present in regards to this situation without Arthur hinting towards her famed ability of playing kings like drums. It was strange but Uther felt a desire to defend Anna at that moment; for all her craftiness she was a good ally and confident. Moreover, apart from Arthur, she was the only part of Igraine left alive.

“You shouldn’t talk about your aunt like that,” he finally responded.

“Why? It’s not like she can hear me!” Arthur retorted, and looked around. “Or I don’t know, maybe she can... maybe that spy of hers is hiding behind one of these doors.”

Uther shot him another look of death. “I don’t know what you imply but you will desist now! Anna is your mother’s sister; she nursed you as a baby and always treated you kindly. You will speak of her with respect.”

Arthur swallowed. He did feel ashamed of striking out about his aunt that way. His father was wrong about a lot of things right now but he was right about Anna. She was always kind and affectionate towards him during his childhood when no one else would. Arthur would go as far as to say that, as a little child, he had preferred her to his father.

“Don’t you see what has happened here?” Uther grunted, his eyes meeting Arthur’s again. Both men were fuming at each other with anger and each one tried to swallow it while the other dared to try and snap it.

“What do you think has happened?” Arthur retorted.

“That girl,” Uther went on, rolling his eyes, “Guinevere.” Arthur nearly cringed at the way his father had pronounced her name, sarcastically. He had turned her beautiful name into a joke. It made Arthur feel strangely angry, more furious than he had been before. “You are allowing yourself to be manipulated by her, to do as she wishes.”

Arthur’s eyes darkened. “Don’t try and blame this on her.”

They began to shout and argue over each other, their voices getting louder and louder as they tried to drown the other one out.

Uther growled, “But this is exactly what she wants—”

“It is my life, father—” Arthur retorted.

“To be so blinded with passion—”

“It’s not Elaine’s—”

“That you would defy me blindly—”

“It’s not Aunt Anna’s—”

“And make a fool of yourself—”

“And it’s not even yours!”

Uther felt life tearing out his hair; it was like trying to kick down a brick wall. He spoke with the most spite he could muster, “That wench maybe appear sweet and considerate but that type play men for fools. She may pretend to be supportive—”

Arthur had enough and shouted before he could think: “Shut up!”

The king shook his head, “You’ve done it now.”

Arthur regretted that. He had needed to say it to get it out of his system. He couldn’t take another snide remark, another pathetic assumption that Guinevere must be playing him for a fool, another slight on his own intelligence. But he regretted saying it. He knew he shouldn’t have said it.

The doors opened and four guards marched into the room, surrounding Arthur and awaiting commands from the king. Uther regained his composure and looked at his son with the same steely look he had when he had entered.

“I had hoped that you would come to your senses after our last clash but it is evident to me that time has merely worsened your disposition,” the king declared firmly. “So, until you come to your senses you will be detained in the dungeons.”

Arthur looked at the guards around him before raising an eyebrow. “I thought as much...”

“And you will remain there under lock and key until you comply with my wishes,” Uther said coolly.

Arthur glared at him. “Then you’ll have a long wait because I won’t comply, ever.”

Uther folded his arms. “Won’t you?”

The younger man stood his ground, looked into his father’s eyes and said a quiet but firm: “No.”

The king turned to the guards. “Lock him up and make sure he speaks to no one. If he has a change of heart and apologises for his behaviour up until now, then let me know. I’ll consider whether or not to let him out.”

“How kind of you,” Arthur muttered sarcastically. The four guards gathered around him to lead him off. “This doesn’t solve the problem with Elaine. I can’t marry her if I’m locked up, can I?”

Uther turned his back on his son. The door closed behind him. The king needed time to gather his thoughts, to think straight again. He always lost his thread after an argument.

At that moment the doors swung open again. Uther span around to see Morgana enter followed by Arthur’s inept manservant, Merlin.

“What on earth is going on?” she immediately queried. “I just saw Arthur being led to the cells by the guards.”

“How observant of you,” Uther grunted back, not in the mood for another row. Instead the king addressed Merlin, who stood looking at him with a look he did not care for. It melted away the moment Uther’s eyes caught sight of him. “Your master will be incarcerated until further notice. You will continue your duties as normal, understand?”

Morgana looked over her shoulder and was rather annoyed by Merlin’s quick response of: “Yes, sire.”

She turned back to Uther, “Is this all because he doesn’t want to marry Elaine?”

“That is none of your concern.”

“Why must you deny him the one thing that makes him happy?”

“He can’t have everything,” he snapped back. “We as nobility have to make sacrifices for the good of our country. This will be the first of many sacrifices he will have to make as king.”

“This is the only thing he has ever asked for,” Morgana retorted. “And you deny it in the name of patriotism?”

“Enough!” Uther shouted, silencing her immediately and making Merlin jump in his skin.

Uther turned his glare on both of them, convinced the two of them we both in confederation with Arthur and the maid. They almost certainly were; they were the manservant and lady to the pair.

“I’ve had it up to here with both of you,” Uther snarled on. “If you were any sort of lady you’d have chastised your handmaiden for this fornication, and if you were any sort of sister you would have discouraged Arthur from this entire affair.”

“And if you were any sort of father you’d be empathetic,” she quirked back.

“I said enough!” Uther bellowed. “Enough, or so help me I’ll ensure that you, her and him,” indicating Merlin behind her, “share Arthur’s punishment. As far as I’m concerned, you’re as bad as each other.”

The king then swept out of them room through the door at the back, leaving Morgana and Merlin alone in the empty council room.

Merlin relaxed his muscles. He had been taken aback by Uther’s statement that he, Arthur, Gwen and Morgana were as bad as each other. It had briefly made him worry that he suspected something... but he didn’t, of course. He meant in their association to Arthur and Gwen’s relationship.

Nonetheless Merlin felt like he had a lucky escape.

“What on earth was that?” Morgana suddenly snapped.

Merlin came out of his daze. “What was what?”

“That silly little ‘Yes sire’ you made at him?” she barked.

He lowered his eyes, “What else could I have said? In case you haven’t noticed I’m a manservant.”

“You could have done something other than just standing there!”

“Like what?” Merlin snarled back.

He knew that Morgana was worried about how Gwen would react to this news, it was understandable. But she didn’t have to take it out on him.

He raised his hands and walked off, “You know what? I’m certainly not arguing with you in here for the entire world to hear.”

Morgana folded her arms. “Where are you going?”

“To find Gwen,” he called back. “Someone has to tell her.”

Morgana took a moment to ponder nothing before she followed him, ashamed that she had taken out her frustration on Merlin. She didn’t want to argue with him but it was sometimes so easy for them to lose it at each other. Every emotion they felt was intensified by their secret, unfulfilled attraction to each other.

One thing they both dreaded was telling Gwen what has happened.