Disclaimer: Still don't own the shit.

A/N: Thanks to Bridget for being my quick turn around beta and thanks to Meg, Betty, and Liz for being my pre-readers. And thanks to someone, I forget who you are because I didn't take down your name, who questioned if it was really right for Carlisle to have read Edward's notebook. Because of that mention, I thought of the great conversation at the end and, well, the ending itself. See?? I told you when you comment on shit it sometimes sparks shit in my head!

For those of you not in the know or from another country, Charmin is a brand of toilet paper and "The Peanuts" is a comic strip. If you don't know what I mean by "The Peanuts", I sometimes forget it's correct title and want to call it "Charlie Brown" after the main character.

I think this is another Emo chapter that will make you feel BiPolar again. I think I like having power over making you feel BiPolar. I'm sadistic like that I guess. All over emo people or pregnant or hormonal women might want to keep a box of tissues handy just in case. Guys... um.. shit, are there any guys out there? Do the manly thing and wipe your eyes on your sleeve.

Chapter 34: A Round of Apologies

“Damn, stupid fucking cell phone signal!” I cursed and jumped off the rock, back to flat ground. Hoping Emmett had been able to hear my message, I made my way back to the cabin. When I told Bella I had decided that it was best if I returned home, she told me to go and call Emmett so my family could stop worrying. Of course, Bella thought I was partially insane or sick from food poisoning when I told her my reasoning behind my decision to go home.

“It’s because of The Odyssey, Bella,” I said. “I can’t make Esme wait twenty years for me.”

“Are you feeling okay?” She placed her palm against my forehead. “You don’t feel like you’d be running a fever.”

I removed her hand from my forehead and held it. “I’m not running a fever.”

After my explanation to Bella about the correlation between Odysseus and Penelope to Esme and myself, she was a little misty eyed but then understood reasoning.

Entering the confines of the cabin, I stomped the snow off my boots before continuing in. “Okay, Bella, I did everything you said about the generator outside and called Emmett.” There was still gas left over, so we were taking it back with us. It was too expensive to waste and too dangerous to leave behind. “Emmett could barely hear me, but I think he understood me.” Although, you know, I’d been wrong a lot lately. Maybe he had no idea that I said we would be back in a few hours.

“Okay, good, did he say anything?” Bella was in the kitchen packing up the items we didn’t use and cleaning up.

“I don’t know,” I said. “The reception was horrible.”

“We can call again when we’re closer to Forks,” she said. “Why don’t you go and drain the pipes in the bathroom? Then run the water into a container until it stops and then turn it off so you don’t get air into the pipes.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I went and drained the pipes in the bathroom we had used and wondered how the cabin had plumbing but not electric. We had put the fire out, closed the damper, and dealt with the fireplace first to make sure the embers had died. By the time Bella was finished in the kitchen, I was done with the bathroom and the cabin had started to get cold from the lack of heat. “Ready to pack the car?” I asked.

“Let’s do it!” I could tell that Bella was excited to get home. Me? I knew this was what I needed to do, but I had what could only be described as a greenhouse full of butterflies inside of my stomach—complete with greenhouse. We quickly packed up the car, secured the cabin, hopped in Jasper’s Mustang, and headed down the mountain.

When we reached the main road, my phone made a noise and I knew I had text messages waiting for me. “Bella, can you read them?” I asked, passing my phone over to her.

“The first one is from Alice,” she said. “It says ‘I know everything! I will help Emmett drag your ass down that mountain tomorrow morning if you don’t come home!’ Oh, the little spit fire.” Bella laughed and then gasped. “It’s from Emmett! ‘Jasper checked the garbage for your things and never found them. Don’t think Mom really threw your stuff out. Please call, man.’ Edward, do you… wait…”

I wanted to smile and like, fucking cheer or some shit, but I couldn’t yet. Were my things really safe? Did Esme lie out of jealousy?

“Your things are safe, Edward,” Bella said with a smile, genuinely happy for me. “Emmett texted you again and it says ‘She didn’t throw out your things!’ This is really great news!”

While ecstatic beyond belief that my things were safe, I felt torn in half because there was a part of me that was mad at my own stupid behavior. “Esme didn’t throw my things out, but I went off like a nut job, kicked Emmett in the face, gave him a black eye, and ran away from home. This just makes me look like one huge asshole.”

“Don’t do that to yourself,” Bella said. “You were only reacting to what Esme told you. If she had revealed that she had your things somewhere, do you really think you would’ve reacted so…um, well, violently?”

“I honestly don’t know,” I said. “I still would’ve been pissed over the fact that she took my things.”

“You need to stop beating yourself up over this.” Bella stared at my phone. “You can’t go back and change what happened. I should call Charlie.”

While Bella called Charlie, I thought about what had happened. Bella was right—I couldn’t go back and change the past. I had reacted to the situation based on the facts that I had been given at that very moment in time. If Esme told me something else, maybe I would have reacted differently to her actions. In the meantime, I didn’t have a time machine to go back to late Monday afternoon. Life wasn’t one of those kiddie books where you could choose a different path by choosing a certain page number. Shit, if life could only be that easy. I had picked my path and now I had to deal with the consequences of the storyline.

“Charlie knows I was with you,” Bella said, breaking me out of my day dreaming. “I must say, I’m very surprised how… um, non-threatening he sounded.”

Charlie wasn’t mad that Bella was alone with me? “The aliens did get him.”

“Indeed they did,” she said, suppressing a laugh. “Charlie has to work tonight since he’s off tomorrow. He wants you to swing by the police station so he can hug me good night. Damn, the man is being sentimental tonight.”

“I guess Christmas will do that to people,” I said. “Maybe he really wants me to swing by so he can give me a stern talking to about corrupting his daughter’s morals.”

“Oh, honey,” Bella said between fits of laughter. “I’ve known Emmett since I was five. I was corrupted long before you came to town.”

Bella called Emmett and told him that we were about an hour away. He was glad to hear from us and told Bella that he could barely understand me when I had called. Emmett also mentioned that everyone was excited that I was coming home. I got all nervous again at the thought of having to face so many people by myself, people who expected so much of me.

Bella and I talked on the way home about Christmas break. If I wasn’t grounded for the rest of my life, I really wanted to take her on a real date. We had just spent a lot of time alone, but I wanted it to be about us, not me. Because I was a chicken and couldn’t tell Bella how I felt, I hoped to be able to somehow show her. Having never been on a date before, I had no idea what we should do. If I opted for the routine dinner and a movie deal, we’d have to drive to Port Angeles. I wasn’t even sure I would be allowed to do that on my own after what happened. I’d also have to borrow someone else’s car.

On the way past Lake Crescent, I pointed out to where I thought Carlisle had stopped with me to skip rocks. Bella said she recognized the area because he had stopped there before. It must be a favorite rest point for him.

When we reached the Forks police department, I pulled into a parking spot up front and I waited. After a few minutes the door opened, and I watched as Bella walked out with Charlie in tow. He had his arm around her shoulders and he was… oh my, it couldn’t be! He was smiling. Was I hallucinating? I didn’t know Charlie had enough facial muscles to smile. It was an awkward looking smile, too. This smile business—it was new to him, that’s for sure.

Through the window I saw Charlie hug Bella and then open the passenger side door for her. She entered the car and sat down, and Charlie closed the door behind her. “Don’t go anywhere; he wants to say something to you.”

“Oh, great!” I said. “If he shoots me, Jasper will bring me back to life just to kill me himself for ruining the interior of his car.”

Bella giggled. “Stop that! Open your window.” She nodded past me, and I turned to see Charlie squatting by the door.

I pressed the button for the window, and it slowly rolled down. “Yes, sir? You wanted to speak with me?”

“You had your entire family worried about you,” he scolded me. “I know dealing with family crap can be tough, but it’s a reality of life. While you were up on ye ol’ Cullen Mountain, did you take care of Bella?”

I nodded. “We took care of each other.” I felt Bella’s hand in mine.

“Family is the same way, Edward.” His eyes lingered between the two of us. “You have to take care of one another. When you go home and talk to Esme, remember to stay calm and think before you act. Count to ten if it helps. Don’t do anything rash. If you run away with my daughter again, I will put a report out on your ass.”

Wait… was that Charlie’s version of being nice to me? “I’ll be sure to remember what you said. Thank you for the advice, sir.”

Charlie huffed and rolled his eyes. “I have a name, why don’t you start using it?”

“Okay… Chief… er, Mr. Swan?” I wasn’t sure which name he was referring to, and he wasn’t being too damn specific.

“It’s Charlie, dummy.” Whoooooa. Did I hear him right? Did he just give me permission to call him Charlie? “Piss me off and you go back to calling me ‘sir’ like Peppermint Patty’s sidekick Marcie.”

And Bella could go ‘wha wha wha’ like their teacher. Great, I was Marcie to his Peppermint Patty! Now I had to make sure I didn’t accidentally call him Patty!

Charlie was snapping his fingers in front of my face. “Edward? You okay?”

“You shocked him, Dad!” Bella squeezed my hand.

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” I said. “You were right about the aliens, Bella.”

“Are you okay, son?” Charlie leaned in closer. “Have you been drinking?”

“No, Charlie, I haven’t been drinking,” I said. “Like Bella said, you shocked me with your kindness. Sorry, ‘bout that.”

“Don’t spread around the kindness thing. I have a reputation to protect,” he said. Did he just eek out another little smile at me? Charlie Swan? No fucking way. “I have to go back inside, so don’t drive off until you’re ready. Remember what I said about your family, okay?”

“I will certainly remember your advice.” As I rolled up my window I could’ve sworn I heard Charlie mumbling the words “kiss ass” or “pain in the ass” as he walked away. I wasn’t quite sure which. “Bella, this has been one weird night. Is this what they mean about Christmas miracles?”

“No bell ringing or angels getting their wings, but Charlie was genuinely nice to you, so yes, I’d say this was our version of a Christmas miracle.” Bella started laughing. “Marcie!”

I was sure she was going to use that nickname every chance she had. Thanks, Charlie!

Before I could go home and face my family, I had to drop Bella off at her house. She explained to me that Charlie wanted her home tonight when he got there, so no sleep over and no support system. I felt sure that I was going to be squeezing my body pillow so tight tonight that it’d be flat like a pancake. When we arrived at Bella’s, I put one of the fuel containers back into Charlie’s garage. Since I had technically kidnapped his daughter for two days, I gave him the container with more leftover gas in it. It didn’t even things out, but it made me feel like I was paying him back for absconding with Bella from his house, even though she had insisted on leaving with me.

After I left Bella safely inside, I didn’t hang around for too long. Trust me, I wanted to, but I knew I had to get back home and face the hurt that Esme and I had caused one another. The greenhouse full of butterflies had returned to my stomach, and I seriously felt like I was going to get sick. I tried to push away my troubled stomach and pulled the Mustang over off to the side of the road to text Emmett.

Be there in a few minutes. Very nervous. Can just you meet me outside?

Since I didn’t want to try texting and driving at the same time, I decided to wait for his response. He replied quickly, not even a minute after my first text.

I’ll be watching for you, but I’m not holding your damn hand. Or your dick.

I knew it sounded cliché, but it was like a wave of happiness had washed over me. When the hell did a Harlequin book sneak into my reading? In spite of what I did—to him and Esme—Emmett was still willing to meet me first. He could have said no and made me face the entire family alone at the same time, but he knew I wasn’t up to that. It would have been too damn overwhelming for me and he knew it. I needed to apologize to him again anyway. He risked a lot when he helped me run away—Jasper too for that matter. To know that Emmett still had my back, his black eye and all, was very encouraging. He was still my rock, even though he denied it.

As encouraged as I was over Emmett’s agreement, when the car entered the driveway my nervousness returned. I actually stopped halfway down the long ass driveway, cracked the window, and took a deep, calming breath.

That fucking shit didn’t help one damn bit. All that “ohm” chanting shit could kiss my scrawny white ass. I was still fucking nervous and ready to throw up all over the interior of Jazz’s Mustang. Because of my queasy stomach, I left the window down until I reached the house. I was cold, my teeth were chattering, and my balls were probably blue, but I was a teeny tiny bit less nervous. Teeny bit nervous… yeah, teeny like the size of my dick from the cold Washington weather.

When I reached the house—small, frozen dick and all—the garage door went up on its own. As the door rose, it slowly revealed Emmett standing there off to the side with a huge smile on his face. I was so fucking relieved to see a smile on his face and not a frown. I wasn’t sure I could turn a frown of his upside down.

Opening the door, I was surprised by Emmett’s big bear hug. “I’m not a roll of Charmin, man! I’ve got organs!”

Releasing me from his grasp, Emmett glared at me. “Did you say orgasms?”

“With you?” I asked. “Hell no, organs, doofus!”

Emmett smiled at me. “Good to see you, moron.”

“Yeah, it’s good to see you, too,” I said. “Thanks for meeting me first. I’m really nervous about this.”

“Everyone is excited that you’re home,” he said. “And I do mean everyone. I know Mom is nervous too. She’s afraid of saying anything that would make you run again. You know, she’s sorry for what she’s done, right? She said she couldn’t bring herself to throw out your things. They were here in the garage in a bag. Dad got the info out of her, and I put the stuff back up in your room for you.”

“Thanks, man, I appreciate it,” I said. “You’ll never know how much I appreciated everything you’ve done for me. The time away to think was a good thing.”

Emmett had a big, dopey grin on his face. “You needed me.”

“It won’t be the last time I need my big brother.”

The big dopey grin returned. “I am not helping you with anything illegal,” he said. “That is where I draw the line!”

“Fuckin’ spoil sport!” I blew a raspberry at him. “I’m sorry about your eye.” The bruise had faded and wasn’t as bad as I thought it would’ve been.

“And I’m sorry for slapping you in the face,” he said. “It was uncalled for.”

“Believe it or not, I think it was what I needed at the moment.” Emmett seemed surprised. “Don’t look so shocked, doofus.” He embraced me again, nearly cutting off the circulation to my brain.

“Okay, I know there’s a saying that goes, ‘hug it out bitches’ but this is just too damn ridiculous!”

I pushed Emmett away and found Jasper standing against the door that led to the house. “Yo, blondie.”

“What’s shakin’, felon?” He came over patted me on the back. “Good to see you again. How’d my ride treat you?”

Retrieving his keys from my pocket, I handed them to him. “She made me nervous as hell going up and down the hill.”

Emmett’s eyes shifted between the two of us. “That’s not code, right? We are talking about Jazz’s car and not Bella?”

“Emmett!” Jasper punched my brother in his arm and turned to me. “How’d it go with Charlie at the police station?”

“Guys, the man has totally been taken over by aliens or something,” I explained. “He was nice to me. To me.” I pointed to myself to stress my point. “He told me to call him by his name, but he told me that if I piss him off I have to go back to calling him ‘sir’ again like Marcie from the Peanuts… oh shit.”

“Ha ha!” Emmett said loudly. “New nickname for Eddie!”

I shook my head in disgust. “Oh, fuck me.”

“Hell no,” Jasper said. “Even if you were lookin’ fine in a Marcie costume, which I do not think is possible by the way.”

Emmett was trying not to laugh. “Charlie is Peppermint Patty!”

The two fucking nimrods were hunched over the hood of the Mustang laughing. “I wanna be Linus and Alice can be Lucy,” Emmett declared.

Jasper wiped a tear away from the corner of his eye. “I guess that leaves me to be Snoopy and Rose is Sally.”

“Okay, Marcie,” Emmett said, sounding suddenly very serious and so unlike himself. “I think we’ve had enough time out here.”

“Marcie, it’s back to reality for you.” Jasper said with a smirk before stepping forward and giving me a hug.

“Fuckin’ hypocrite!” Emmett said with a laugh.

Jasper made a face at Emmett. “Shut it, Linus! Go play with your blanket.”

Emmett laughed. “Oooh, man, that can be our new code word for dick in front of the parents!”

“Come on,” I said. “Let’s do this.” The bit of laughter with Emmett and Jasper before facing everyone else was good for me. “Thanks for helping me, Jazz. Did either one of you get into trouble because of me?”

Emmett paused by the door. “Dad knows we helped you and as far as I know, he didn’t tell Mom. I’m not sure she’d be able to handle it right now. Dad was really cool and understanding about everything.” His eyes darted to Jasper and then back to me. “I’ll fill you in later.”

“You pussy, like it’s gonna stay a secret for long?” Jasper asked with annoyance. “I’m unofficially a part of this family, too!”

Emmett had gotten serious. “Later, man. Ready, Edward?”

I took another deep breath and released it slowly. “As I’ll ever be.”

Jasper opened the door, walked into the kitchen, and then stepped off to the side. I was sure Emmett wanted to walk in next to me for support, but there wasn’t enough room in the door frame. He stood behind me, one hand on my shoulder, slightly urging me forward with a gentle squeeze of his hand.

Damn it, they were all lined up waiting for me. I felt like I was on death row. The first one in line was Rose. I met her at the counter, and she welcomed me back with a hug. “Good to see you in one piece, Edward.”

“Sally, his new nickname is Marcie,” Emmett whispered from behind me, and Rose appeared confused. Not being privy to our conversation, I couldn’t blame her one bit. Emmett could be confusing enough when he wasn’t hiding an inside joke. “I’ll explain later.”

Content with a hug, Rose went and stood next to her twin, and my eyes met Alice’s as she walked toward my direction. “Marcie, huh? I’m going to need an explanation over that one.” She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me. “It’s good to have you back. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Alice.”

“Psst,” Emmett said. “It’s Lucy.”

“Shut it!” Alice was still entangled within my arms. “Save it for later, Linus!”

Alice was standing up on her toes, shaking her head at us, so I leaned down and she kissed my cheek. “Don’t scare us like that again!” she warned me in a low whisper.

“Yes, Ma’am!”

Alice let go of me and literally pushed Emmett toward Rose and Jasper. Everyone knew that he was letting her slide him across the floor because there was no way he’d actually move an inch otherwise.

Carlisle was next in line, standing there with a slight smile on his lips from our antics. “I want in on the inside joke sometime too, but for now, get over here.” He crooked his finger. I stepped forward and he hugged me, embracing me tightly in his arms. “It’s good to have you back, son.”

“Good to see you, too.” My words sounded muffled against his chest. I struggled to step away from Carlisle, but his arms were still holding me. “Carlisle?”

“Gimme another minute,” he said. “I’m not quite ready to let you go yet.”

From behind me I heard Alice speak very low. “Emmett, are you crying?”

“No, I’ve got something in my eye,” he said.

“Yeah.” Rose’s voice uncharacteristically cracked. “It’s called tears.”

“Jasper, sweetie, stop chanting ‘Don’t cry’ to yourself.” Carlisle and I laughed at Alice’s words. “It’s not working very well.”

Carlisle patted me on the back and released me from his hold. I turned to see four pairs of slightly damp looking eyes staring back at me. Jasper cleared his throat and turned his gaze away from us.

I turned back to face Carlisle. “I’m sorry for running away, Dad.” I had lowered my voice, but evidently one of my siblings had very acute hearing because I heard Alice gasp.

“I know you are,” he said. “I hope you took the time to think about things while you were away.”

“I did,” I confessed. “Bella played shrink to my messed up mind.”

Carlisle shook his head at me. “You’re not messed up. You have a lot of stuff on your plate. More than any person your age should have to deal with.”

“I feel messed up though.”

“You’re not,” he insisted, but I wasn’t so sure. “If talking helped you, then let me know if you want to talk to a professional. Therapists can help. Maybe it’d be a good idea if you and your mother went to a session together to work on a few things.”

“I’ll think about it, but I’m not too keen on letting some stranger know everything about me,” I confessed.

“That’s the beauty of the person being a stranger,” Carlisle said. “They don’t know you and they don’t judge. They help you work through your issues.”

“I’ll think about it.” I knew I didn’t sound too damn convincing. Besides talking with Bella, therapy was something I had never done before and probably had some badly formed preconceived notions about it. “Where is Esme? I’d like to see her.”

“Are you sure?” He sounded skeptical. “You can wait until tomorrow.”

“It’s Christmas Eve; we should all be together in some fashion, right? Don’t you normally do something tonight?” I asked.

Carlisle… he frowned. Yes, that was it. He actually frowned. “Esme’s parents and Tony and his family usually come over, but we thought it’d be too much right now.”

“Please tell me that Esme’s parents are the set of normal grandparents in this family.” I pleaded. “They’re not messed up too, are they?”

“No, actually, they are really nice and normal,” he confessed. “I hope you’ll find that you’re comfortable enough to meet them soon. They’re anxious to meet you.”

“Why don’t they come out during break?” I shrugged. “I’ve got the time to deal with emotional baggage now until school starts again.”

Carlisle smiled. “I’ll call them later on and see what they can do. Would you be up for Tony and his family tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yeah, I’ve met them before, so it should be okay. There might be a few minutes of awkwardness with the new family vibe,” I said. “But they should be cool.”

“Tomorrow morning we’re going to go to the hospital if you’re up to it.”

“Oh yeah,” I said. “Emmett told me about that. You give out presents and stuff to the kids, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.” Carlisle’s eyes shifted to behind me for a moment before he met my eyes again. “We have an elf costume for you if you want to go with us. If not, you can stay home or go over to Bella’s and spend some time getting to know Charlie better.” At the mention of Charlie’s name, Carlisle actually smirked.

I really tried not to, but I rolled my eyes. “Let’s see, my options are home by myself, elf, or alien-abducted Charlie Swan.” I could see that Carlisle was confused about the alien part in regards to Charlie. “I think I’ll try the elf thing.” Carlisle was shaking his head at me. “Oh, wait, no, no, that costume, it ain’t like a pair of tights or anything? I’m not going to be suited up like Peter Pan or some crap, am I? I ain’t wearin’ a pair of tights showin’ all my junk to the entire world!”

I heard laughter behind me. It was the loud, obnoxious laughter of my siblings and their other halves. Without turning around, I raised my hand to them. “Oh, shut up, yous!”

“No…” Carlisle’s voice cracked, and he started laughing like the others. “No junk show.”

“Glad to hear it,” I said. “Where’s Esme?” I was still very nervous, but I didn’t want to put off talking to her much longer.

“She’s in the back room.”

She had probably overheard our entire conversation. I hoped she hadn’t heard me call Carlisle ‘Dad’. I wasn’t sure if she could handle that. Carlisle turned to escort me into the back room, and my eyes met Esme’s at the foot of the stairs, one hand on the railing. I blinked, making sure I wasn’t seeing things, and we took each other in for a moment. Her eyes were red from crying and her hair wasn’t done nicely as I had always seen it. She wasn’t even dressed in her usual manner. Frankly, I was surprised Alice had let her get away with that. Seeing her on the verge of tears and, well, a mess because of me, was quite an eye opener. I didn’t like it that I had caused pain to the woman who had given me life, even if she had lied to me and betrayed my trust. It made me feel guilty. And I hated that.

Taking Charlie’s advice, I started to count to ten, but Esme’s voice interrupted my silent counting when I reached five.

“Hi.” The word barely escaped her lips as she forced herself to choke the greeting out. She was shaking slightly, and a tear slid down her cheek. She was as nervous as I was, maybe even more so because she had been ready to escape upstairs. I could feel Carlisle following a few paces behind me as I rushed over to her. He stopped as I seized her in my arms.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

I felt Esme’s arms clinging to me, her head nestled against my chest with tears flowing freely down her cheeks. “I’m sorry, too.”

I continued to hold her and felt Carlisle against my side, one arm wrapped around each of us. Esme was still in my arms, her tears now under some semblance of control, when Emmett appeared on my other side and mimicked Carlisle’s actions. Soon enough, Alice, Jasper, and Rose joined us in one big hug circle.

As the minutes passed, the air began to feel heavy and stale. “People, we need oxygen in here!”

Even Esme laughed at my comment as everyone slowly peeled back from us. “Can we talk?” I asked.

“I think that’s a good idea,” she said, keeping her tears at bay.

Before he left, Carlisle brought in a new box of tissues for Esme. She had gone through the last box, its reminders in a plastic bag on the table. I wondered how many boxes of tissues she had gone through while I had been gone. Esme and I went into the living room, where the seating was more comfortable, to talk. The others went upstairs to give us some privacy.

For the first time, I noticed the twinkling of white lights behind Esme and took in the Christmas tree by the fire place. “Who did the tree?” I asked.

“Actually, Rose and Jasper went and put it up for me,” she said. “I came downstairs yesterday morning and it was all decked out.” Esme shut her eyes and squeezed them together.

“They did a good job,” I said. “It looks pretty.”

“I know.” She opened her eyes and looked at me. “I’m sorry that I said I threw your things out,” she apologized. “When I saw the picture it was turned upside down, but I thought it was something else. I…I thought it was a project for school or maybe a picture of Bella. When I flipped it over and saw that it was you and the Masens… I got very angry and jealous. I missed out on so many years with you that I’ll never get back, and they got to have those experiences with you. I acted so unlike myself and went through your room and removed things that I should’ve never touched because they were yours. It wasn’t right and I’m sorry I did what I did.”

“That day… it was the first time I had even looked at the picture since I brought it home. I felt like I was betraying you and Carlisle for even having it in my possession,” I explained. “I didn’t even want you to know I had it, so I kept it hidden in the drawer.”

“Can I ask, what’s the story with the pocket watch, blanket, and money?” She was timid questioning me about the items.

“The pocket watch is Peter’s and he asked that I return it to Liz or his court appointed attorney. It was his father’s.” Esme nodded with understanding at the importance of the item. “Liz made the blanket for me years ago. I was having such a hard time sleeping here at first, and I thought it’d help me because it was familiar. I found the watch in Peter’s nightstand at the house along with the money. Back when I took it, I didn’t know why I grabbed the money. I knew I wouldn’t need it for myself. I’d like to give the money to Liz when she’s released to help her get back on her feet.”

She nodded and blinked slowly, dabbing the corner of her eyes with a tissue. “I think that’s a fantastic idea, honey,” she said. “It’s not much, but it’s better than having nothing at all. Can I ask you a question?” I nodded my head. “How did you get those things anyway?”

“Don’t be mad at him,” I said nervously. “The day I stayed home from school, the day I came out of the woods and found you and we had the ‘baby steps’ convo?”

She nodded at her memories of the day. “When I thought you ran away, but you didn’t?”

“Yeah, that’s the day.” I sighed. “I was bored and called Charlie because I had a few things at the old house that were mine that I needed. My backpack was there with my school work and a few other items. I deceived Charlie and removed the other items as well.”

“I thought you broke into the house,” she admitted. “Or Emmett did for you.”

“Hey! No illegal activities for me!” We looked up at the direction of Emmett’s voice and found everyone on the third story landing, their gazes transfixed on us. And I do mean everyone; even Carlisle was there, one hand clapped over Emmett’s big mouth.

“I do believe we’re being watched,” I declared. “They must not trust us to be alone together.”

“I think we’re doing okay so far.”

“Get outta here, you peepin’ toms!” I yelled up to them and Esme laughed. Everyone disappeared from our view. “They’re probably just out of sight, but still eavesdropping.”

“I wouldn’t put it past them.” Esme smiled at me. “I promise to give you more space. It’s just that… I admit it, I’m jealous of the closeness you have with everyone else. I’m overly eager to get to know you.”

“I’m sorry about that,” I said. “I don’t know why things are the way they are with me and everyone else. I’m sorry that I’ve gravitated more toward Carlisle. I can’t help it that I feel more comfortable with him. Liz and I were close and now I don’t have that relationship with her. What I did have with Peter and Liz was good though. All three of us talked and joked around with each other. The two of them were all I had before I opened myself up to the idea of having friends here in Forks. I don’t know if that’s the invisible barrier with us or not. I will try my best not to shut you out of my life from now on.”

“Thank you for giving me another chance.” Her eyes barely met mine as she spoke. “You don’t know how much it means to me.”

“You never gave up on me.” Esme’s eyes met mine, and I noticed how blood shot they were. There were dark circles under her eyes, and I wondered if she had gotten any sleep recently. “You were the one that knew I was yours.”

“I just did,” she admitted sheepishly. “He didn’t say it outright, but I know Carlisle thought I was crazy.”

“Esme, have you read The Odyssey?” She shook her head no, so I continued. “I borrowed the book from Carlisle; it’s actually a Greek poem dating back to somewhere like 1178 B.C. Odysseus went off to fight in the Trojan War which spanned ten years. It took him another ten years to get back home to his wife Penelope because the Gods kept messing with him. Penelope waited twenty years for her husband to return home. She never, ever gave up hope that he’d return alive someday, even with all the suitors lined up wanting to marry her. Don’t you see? You’re like Penelope. You never gave up on me returning home. For god sakes, you kept a room for me, even after all this time. You waited seventeen years to meet me, and what did I do? I’ve essentially blocked your efforts at every turn. I’m dealing with a lot of stuff, but I don’t think I’ve been very fair to you.”

“You blocked me because I pushed you and I’m sorry if you felt that way” she said. “If I start to do that again, you have to tell me, okay? I might not realize I’m doing it.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Those butterflies returned to my stomach as I thought about my next words to her. What I had to tell her was important though, so I had to get it out. “I have to tell you something, and I realize it may hurt your feelings,” I chose my words cautiously, afraid of making her cry again. “But I think it’s important that you hear me out and try to understand me. I know you are biologically my mother, but unfortunately, you even admitted that we lost out on a lot of time together. We can’t go back, but we can move forward and have some type of relationship. I don’t know how much of myself I can give to you. In all honesty, you might have to settle for us being friends. Liz was always there for me physically and emotionally and up until not even two weeks ago, she was my mother and I didn’t know any differently. A part of me will probably always love her and I don’t think I can change that.” I watched as Esme fought back more tears. “She had nothing to do with what happened and really thought I was her own. I would like to support her because she has no one else to turn to. At the same time, I’ll try my best to build a relationship with you. It may not be entirely what you want, or the perfect example of a mother-son relationship, but you brought me into this world and I feel like I owe you the effort.”

She swallowed hard before opening her mouth to speak. “I must say, Peter and Liz did an excellent job raising you. You’re an articulate, caring, intelligent young man and you have a good head on your shoulders.”

“Oh, would you two mushies hug again already!” We both raised our heads at the sound Carlisle’s voice, once again perched on the third story landing with everyone else. Not being able to contain myself any longer, I busted out in laughter.

“You’re a horrible, horrible peeping tom, dear!” Esme yelled up to him before she joined me in a fit of giggles.

“They should’ve just stayed down here and played referees for us.” I tried to imagine all of them down here watching as the sound of their footsteps traveling down the stairs echoed throughout the silent house. “No, I was nervous enough as it was trying to talk with you. Besides, I don’t know if I could handle watching Jasper get all teary eyed.”

“I was nervous seeing you again, too.” Esme admitted.

They all piled into the living room, and Carlisle sat down at Esme’s other side while the rest of them sat on the couch opposite us. “I’m not teary eyed!” Jasper said.

“Noooo, your eyes are slightly blood shot for no reason at all,” Alice teased. “Ain’t no crime for a man to cry.”

“It’s a Man Code Violation!” I supplied. “It’s a Class 4 Man Code Violation. Section 2, Paragraph 5, Subsection 14. It’s a big no no. Right, Jazz?”

“Now he’s quoting me!” Jasper laughed. “You got it right.”

“I’m an articulate, caring, intelligent young man with a good head on my shoulders.” I stuck my tongue out at him. “My mommy even says so.”

Esme leaned back into Carlisle and started laughing. The doorbell rang, and I wondered who it could be at this time of night. I prayed it wasn’t Charlie having second thoughts and ready to arrest me for stealing his daughter.

“Food!” Emmett declared, hurrying over to the door and answering it.

“Emmett couldn’t decide what to get, so we ordered both pizza and Chinese,” Esme explained. “I wasn’t in the mood to cook.”

“I know how much you hate that.” Esme took pride in cooking for her family.

“Hey, Dad, they’re both here at the same time and I’m outta cash. I need another ten! Pay up ol’ man!” Emmett shouted from the doorway.

Carlisle got up and headed to the door. “You’re going to eat most of it, it’s only right you pay for most of it,” Carlisle mumbled.

Alice, Jasper, and Rose were on the couch, still watching us. “Lucy, Sally, and Snoopy, why don’t you go set the table?”

Jasper rose from the couch. “Come on, girls.”

Alice and Rose got up and followed Jasper into the kitchen. “What the heck is he talking about? Why do we suddenly have new nicknames now?” Alice asked in confusion.

Jasper put an arm around each of the girls. “We’ll fill you in later, babe.”

I chuckled and turned back to Esme. “Are we better now?”

“I’d like to think so,” she said. “I just want to know you, Edward.”

“I think we can work on that,” I admitted. “That’s part of the friendship package.”

“I want to be a mother to you, but if I have to settle for friendship, I’d rather settle than push you away and not have you in my life at all.” Her hand, which had been resting along the back of the couch, reached up and touched my hair. “You need a haircut. I can tell you the names of the places in town. Maybe Carlisle or Emmett can take you.”

“I have a better idea.” I reached up and removed her hand from my hair. Whenever Bella ran her hands through my hair it always got me going. I did not need to get an erection while sitting on the couch with my own mother. I held her hand in mine instead. “Why don’t we start with lunch and a haircut?”

“I’d like that, if you’re really up for it,” she smiled. “Emmett and I used to do that all the time.”

“It’s din-din time, you two!” Emmett said from the kitchen. “Get your butts in here before I eat it all!”

“Let’s go grab some grub,” I said. “I know Emmett’s not kidding about eating it all.”

We joined the rest of the family in the dining room for a later than usual dinner. It felt good to be back with them around the dining room table, laughing at Emmett’s jokes and Jasper’s bloodshot eyes. Everyone asked about the new Peanuts character references, so I explained my earlier talk with Charlie. “Who’s Bella then?” Esme asked.

“She can be Pig Pen!” Emmett suggested between bites of food.

Alice appeared as if she was going to throw her fork at Emmett. “I’m so telling her that so she can castrate you!”

“Well, what other female Peanuts characters are there?” he asked.

“She doesn’t have to be a female character,” Rose said. “Look at Marcie over there.”

“Yeah, and Jasper chose to be Snoopy,” I said. “We got some bestiality going on now in the family.”

Carlisle shook his head at my comment and tried not to laugh. “So, who are me and Esme?”

“The only other characters I can think of are the teacher, Charlie Brown, Pig Pen, and the freakin’ little yellow bird.” The others nodded their heads, and no one else answered with any other character names. “We might actually have to research this.”

When we were finished with dinner, I helped Esme clean up. Since we had take-out, it was a quick task. We put the utensils and plates in the dishwasher and fit the few leftovers that managed to survive Emmett’s clutches into the fridge. Esme called her parents and they were going to look into booking a flight within the next few days. Carlisle was currently on the phone with Tony, informing him that I had returned home and questioned him if it wasn’t too late for him and his family to come over tomorrow for Christmas. Tony put Carlisle on hold while he checked with Jan. He put his hand over the mouth piece of the phone and spoke to me, “Always remember to check with the wife or girlfriend over important matters,” he said. “Or risk losing an appendage.”

“Sound fatherly advice, Carlisle.”

Esme chuckled from her seat next to me at the counter. “Your father has been threatened with a butcher knife a few times.”

“Oh, so he sometimes makes stupid decisions, too, huh?”

Esme shrugged her shoulders and smiled. “He’s human.”

“Damn, I got that from him too,” I laughed.

Carlisle finished speaking with Tony and hung up the phone. “It’s a good thing they were ready to come over anyway. Since we have to leave early to go to the hospital, they’re going to leave to get here early and get the turkey started. Tony has a spare key to the house.”

Esme gasped. “I never got the turkey started! It’s not thawed out.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Carlisle patted Esme’s hand reassuringly. “Jan asked about that, and she’s bringing the one she had thawed out.”

“Crisis averted!” I said. “Do you have anything ready for tomorrow?”

“No, I should do some prep work before I go to bed.” Esme stared at the counter and thumped her fingers across it. “There’s so much to do.”

“I’ll help so it goes by faster,” I offered. “You’re tired.”

“I need to do something real quick with everyone first,” Carlisle said. “You two go in the living room. I need to get everyone else.”

Confused by Carlisle’s behavior, Esme and I went into the living room and sat on the couch. The others came downstairs and questioned Carlisle’s motives for bringing us all together again. Esme didn’t even seem to know what was going on. Carlisle came back downstairs with two large wrapped boxes in his arms, one bigger than the other. They were evidently Christmas presents, but the shape of the boxes made them appear to be for clothes, not presents. Esme smiled when she saw the boxes, and I knew she realized what Carlisle was up to. He walked over to Esme and she took the top box, which was smaller than the one Carlisle still held.

“We normally exchange presents with my brother’s family tonight and with each other tomorrow, but these are two important gifts that Esme and I need to give out tonight.” Carlisle walked over to Emmett and handed him the box.

Emmett took it and glanced around the room as if someone was going to clue him in on what was going on. Receiving no answers, he tore at the paper, balling it together neatly before placing it on the coffee table in front of him. He tentatively opened the box, removing the lid, and placing it next to the discarded wrapping paper. As he pushed the tissue paper aside, he smiled. “Dad, are you for real?”

“Yes, it’s your turn, Emmett,” Carlisle said. “I’m retiring.”

I was so fucking clueless it wasn’t funny. What was up with the retiring bit? Getting up, I walked over to Emmett to see for myself what the hell was in the box. “What is that?” I asked at the sight of the red and white fabric inside the box.

“It’s my turn to be Santa Claus for the kids,” he said. “Dad’s always been Santa.”

“I think you’re ready for it now,” Carlisle said. “I’m passing the tradition on to you.”

Esme walked over to Rose and handed her the smaller box. “Rose, honey, this is for you.”

“No way!” Rose smiled and tore through the wrapping paper faster than Emmett. Inside the box was more red and white fabric.

“Mrs. Claus, I presume?” I asked curiously. Every Santa needed his Misses, right?

Rose removed her costume out of the box and looked at it, holding it up against her. My mind wandered and I imagined Bella is a kinky, short, ass-showing Mrs. Claus outfit. I had a growing present for my Mrs. Claus alright. Shit, Edward, stop thinking perverted thoughts in front of your family.

Rose hugged and thanked Esme. Emmett was so excited that he tried on his costume right there in the living room. I didn’t have any doubt that Emmett would do an excellent job tomorrow with the kids.

Alice, Rose, and I helped Esme in the kitchen prepare a few things for the next day so they could just be thrown in the oven. The work went quicker that way, and we talked a bit to pass time. She explained that she normally decorated the house for Christmas much earlier, but this year was different. With so much going on, she had her mind on other things like, well, me and bringing me home.

“Alice kept on bugging me about decorating,” she said. “I normally start the week after Thanksgiving. I knew we were going to be able to bring you home soon, but I didn’t know exactly when. This may sound odd, but I wasn’t sure if the decorations would bother you or not, so I waited. I was going to put them up Monday. I even started to drag a few things out, but I got distracted.”

“We don’t have to go there again.” Esme kept her gaze down at the green bean casserole she was making. “I don’t know if the decorations would have bothered me or not. We never decorated much for the holidays. We traveled real light. I never even realized you hadn’t put up a tree. How observant am I?”

Quite pathetically unobservant it seemed. Even with simple Christmas decorations, Esme was worried if I’d be bothered over them. It bugged me how much she worried over the simple and small things, but that’s what mother’s did, right? At least the good ones, I thought.

Finished with our tasks for the night, I hugged Esme and wished her a good night before going upstairs. “I think it will be, now that you’re home again.”

I headed straight to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and stripped to my boxers. I had noticed that Esme was tired, but now I found that I was fighting to keep my eyelids open. When I walked back into my room and turned to throw my clothes in the hamper by my closet, I jumped. “It’s a good thing I don’t walk around my room naked.”

“You don’t know how glad I am about that,” Carlisle said, standing in the open doorway. “I mean, like, really, really glad. Seriously.”

“I get the idea,” I said. “What’s up?”

“Can we talk for a minute?”

“Sure.” I drew the covers back on my bed before I sat down and covered my lap with the blankets. Not because of Carlisle, because it was winter in Washington and even though the house was well heated, I was almost naked and I was a bit chilly. “What’s on your mind?”

Closing the door, he walked over and sat down on the edge of my bed. “So, Marcie-“

“Aw, man, no one is going to let me live that down!”

“Sorry!” He laughed before continuing. “I wanted to let you know that before I knew for sure where you were, I came in here and tried to search for any clues to your whereabouts. I’m sorry for going through your things, but I was afraid for your safety and well being. I saw the notebook that I gave you sitting on your nightstand.” He nodded to it, and I turned to see it still sitting there but in a different position than I remembered. “I looked through it to see if you would have mentioned anything to help us in finding you. I wanted you to know about what I did, and I’m sorry for invading your privacy like that. At the time, I thought I had a valid reason for going through your private thoughts.”

I took a few seconds to digest what Carlisle told me before I spoke. “I don’t think it bothers me that you went through my things and looked at the notebook because you were worried about where I was. It really bugged me that Esme went through my things—and removed them—because she was jealous and wanted to get rid of them. The reasoning is different. Your reasoning is way more rational to me.”

“I wanted to let you know because I didn’t like reading your notebook,” he said. “Though, it did give me a little peek into your mind.”

“It’s a scary place, I know.” I chuckled.

“Not as scary as you think,” Carlisle said. “More like confused and turned upside down. I’m sorry for reading your inner most thoughts.”

“I’m not even using it like you had intended.”

“You are,” he insisted. “You’re using the notebook in the way that’s helping you. You don’t have to write huge journal entries and go on for pages about things. Instead, you put down quick notes to remind you of the bigger picture. It still works.”

“Thanks for being honest with me, I appreciate it.” While he was here and we were alone, I figured I’d ask him something that was on my mind about him. “Can I ask you something?” He nodded, so I continued. “How were you able to remain so calm when I ran away? I thought you’d sick the cops on us.”

“Emmett wondered the same thing, so I had to talk to him about this too,” he said. “I told you about my mother, but what I didn’t tell you was that one day, I caught Tony trying to leave. I wanted to go with him, but instead, I helped him run away because I knew he needed time to himself to escape things.”

“Wow… so, Emmett did what you did all those years ago?”

“Yup, and I couldn’t fault him for that,” Carlisle said. “Your mother doesn’t know certain things yet. I’d like to break the news that Emmett helped you, so keep your lips zipped for now, k?” I nodded silently in agreement. “I knew something was up because Emmett and Jasper were acting more strangely than usual. I confronted Emmett and he cracked. I understood your need to get away and once Emmett spilled his guts, I sent you the message about Kalaloch Lodge. It was better knowing where you were, but I wished you were closer. Are you feeling better about things?”

“Yeah, I think so,” I said. “If you didn’t overhear it, you freakin’ peepin’ toms, basically I’m going to try a little harder and she’s not going to try so hard.”

“Sounds like a good compromise.”

“I hope so.” I really wasn’t sure if our second chance was going to be any better than our first. Yawning, I rubbed my eyes. “I also told her that I’d like to support Liz because she doesn’t have anyone else. Deep down, I know Esme doesn’t agree with that. I could tell by the look on her face. I… I just can’t let go completely, ya know?”

“There’s no shame in that, Edward. I hate my mother for what she’s done, but some part of me will always wish that things had ended up differently with her.” He looked so sad when he mentioned Camilla. “You don’t have to say good-bye forever to Liz. A word of advice though—whatever type of relationship you end up having with Liz, please don’t shove it in your mother’s face. It hurts her enough knowing she might have to settle for a type of friendship with you.”

“Oh, no! I wouldn’t do that.” I was ready to fall asleep and I think Carlisle realized it. “That wouldn’t be fair to Esme and I’d be pushing her away and I don’t want to do that again.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Lay down, huh?” I stretched out on my bed, and Carlisle spread the blankets over me. “We have a long day tomorrow, so get a good night’s rest.” Leaning down, he brushed back the mess of hair on my forehead and his lips touched my brow. “Good night, son.”

“’Night, Dad.”

I barely registered him turning off the light and closing the door behind him. For a moment, my life was a blur and I flashed back to a memory of when I was seven and Peter and Liz had tucked me in to bed. But I wasn’t seven, I was seventeen and my biological father just tucked me in to go to sleep for the first time in both of our lives. And I was comforted by that thought. Sleep came quickly that night, and I didn’t even need to squeeze the hell out of my body pillow.

A/N: Like it? Yeah, no?

And can I ask where everyone is coming from again?? I'm seeing a big influx of story alerts, some new reviewers, but have no idea where you've found out about Legacy. I'm not recc'd on blogs or sites, but more by word of mouth, so it just makes me wonder.

Off I go to try to figure out what I'm doing for Chapter 35... cuz it's not all in my head yet. Yes, this is being posted as I write it, no backlog of chapters are being held ransom in a storage facility somewhere in a Nevada desert. Or is that dessert? Get those two fuckers mixed up spelling wise (trust me, I know which is the one you have after diner, if you saw me, you'd know I have a sweet tooth). I'm tired and I seem to have verbal diarrhea like Edward and Carlisle. Thank God for the spell checker in Firefox because I so screwed up the spelling of diarrhea just then.

What?