Seinfeld: Elaine’s Birthday

George sat down on Jerry’s gray couch with a knife in his right hand and a ripe red apple in the left.

“What are you doing?” Jerry asked motioning towards the apple.

“I eating an apple...is that okay?” asked George.

“Yeah. Is there anything else left over there?” Jerry asked concerned.

“I think there’s a few pears still left,” George explained carving out a piece of an apple for himself as he sat down.

“You, as the guest should be polite enough to leave me the apple not the pear like you already have since I have kindly invited you over,” he explained.

“Yes, but you as the host should offer me, the guest, anything I wish,” George replied..

“There’s no book.” Jerry replied.

“Actually think I saw it. It was way back among the paranormal books, obviously misplaced by someone not knowing the rules of the Dewy Decimal System.”

“I’ve never really cared much for the Dewy Decimal System. The librarians under such a code of secrecy that they need a special language all to themselves?” Jerry replied shaking his head.

“It’s people like you that are responsible for the country’s libraries for being in the condition they are!” George cried.

“Boy you have taken a stern interest in the Dewy Decimal System.”

“I’ve been reading up on it. By doing this I hope I can win over the librarian,”

“All because of that overdue book? How far will you go to save a few bucks... why don’t you just pay the fine?”

“Just pay it? I can’t do that! Jerry, I cannot not give them that satisfaction. They want me to give them my hard-earned money!”

“Come on how much could the fine be?” Jerry shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s 256. I’m between jobs right now. I don’t have that kind of money.”

“Okay, so why don’t you just go down there and explained to the head librarian the situation. I’m sure if you at least do that, they’ll give you as break,” Jerry offered.

“That may be a good idea, but those librarians...they don’t work like that. Notice how they only told me I had an overdue book after seven years of 10 cents a days as accrued?”

“The Postal service can be a bit slow...”

“The postal service? Hmm.” George paused to think

“Kramer!! Kramer!! Get out here!!” called a familiar male voice from across the hall.

“What’s going on?” George asked.

“I’m not sure, but. Oh no, hello Newman,” Jerry said opening the door.

“Hello Jerry,” Newman replied in his normal hostile tone.

“What’s all the yelling about?” George asked.

“You keep quiet Costanza!”

“You can’t talk to my friends like that...only I can! Now what’s going on?” Jerry replied.

Newman knew he was outmatched.

“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you what’s going on...I was kind enough to invite Kramer to go with me to this exclusive night club called ‘Oasis’,...”

“Pretty exclusive joint, how’d you manage to get in?”

“When your a mail man, you have access to a lot of...information,” Newman grinned deviously

“Alright Newman! I know you’ve been holding back some of my mail, so knock it off or I’m going to your supervisor!” George called out.

“Big words Costanza!!”

“George, wait for me inside...now about this night club thing,” Jerry commanded.

“Anyway, he stole my girl.”

“Well your too late. He left this morning and hasn’t been back since.”

Newman looked around to size up the situation

“Alright...alright, but he’s not off the hook and neither are you and your little friend,” Newman replied nodding and stepping back.

Jerry opened to door to his apartment.

“So how far are you going to take this over-due book thing?”

“I’ll get engaged if I have to!” George shouted.

“Why do people buy these things anyway?” asked Jerry holding one of the two last pieces of fruit which were past ripe.

“People like pears,” George replied.

“Yeah sick people. If I wanted something soft, I buy a banana, they’re supposed to be soft. This pear has the texture of a rotten apple. People don’t eat rotten apples,” Jerry added sitting down next to George on the couch.

“Jerry, why can’t we ever meet girls like that,” George asked motioning to the beer commercial.

“Because there all doing beer commercials,” Jerry replied.

“You know they ought to do a beer commercial about us. I mean nobody looks like that when they’re drinking beer,” George replied.

“You don’t drink beer and neither do I. The only one in this that drinks beer is...” however Jerry’s explanation was cut short by Kramer as he burst wildly through Jerry’s door and then he slid a few feet before coming to a complete stop.

He then faced his two friends and replied with a right handed thumbs up and a

“Hey!!” he blurted out with as goofy smile.

“Hello,” Jerry replied.

George did a backward wave to his friend Kramer.

“What’s with him?” Kramer asked.

“Oh he’s poised to marry a librarian just to avoid paying an overdue book fine. Oh and Newman looking for you,” Jerry said leaving to go to the bathroom.

“Alright George!!” Kramer said putting his hands to together.

“So, you going down to the library today?” Kramer said walking over to the couch.

“Do you really think I should do this? I mean what if Jerry’s right? Engagement? I don’t want to get engaged, that’s ludicrous,” George said starting to panic.

“Don’t give those library big shots the satisfaction,” Kramer reminded him by tapping him on his shoulder.

“Okay well at least come down their with me.”

“Yeah sure, I want to do a little research of my own,” Kramer said looking around.

“On what?” Jerry asked.

“I’ve been reading a lot of book lately. Did you know there are a lot of things the government doesn’t want us to know...”

“Yeah like government conspiracy on UFOs so what? Everyone knows that.”

“...take a look at this,” Kramer said handing a tabloid paper.

George began took look at the front cover.

“ ‘Man calms to be a mammoth hunter?!’ That’s a job I would mind getting paid for, ” George said smiling.

“No down at the bottom.”

“Adolf Hitler spotted alive and selling beer in Argentina? Aww come on he’s long dead.”

“Then how come no body was ever found?” Kramer noted.

“He probably had one of his men disposed of it before the Russians stormed the bunker.”

“That’s that the Government want you to think. Look at this photograph. How could you deny that?”

“They just cut out Hilter’s head from some history book, pasted it on a body and took a picture. That’s how they do all these things. You think there really is a man who is turning into a tree?” George asked pointing to another story on the front cover.

Kramer paused to think.

“What’s in the sack?” asked Jerry pointing to the well-stuffed, white garbage bag.

“You guys ever been to a flea market?” Kramer asked.

“No...” Jerry replied.

“A few times with my mother,” George replied humbly.

“Those places are gold mines!! I mean just look at all this great stuff!!” Kramer dropping a well-filled plastic bag on the coffee table with a thud.

“Looks like junk to me.”

“Ahh yes to the untrained eye, but some of this stuff is really worth something, like this rotary-dial phone! The rotary phone is making a come back!” Kramer replied .

“Aaa all junk. You know if someone actually would pay for that kind of stuff, I could be a millionaire, my parents have a whole attic full of old junk.”

“Really?” Kramer replied interested.

“Yeah they’ve never thrown anything away...” George said picking up the television remote and began to flip through the channels when the sound of moaning woman on the TV caught his attention at he stopped flipping through the channels..

“I think this is Rachel Rachel 2,.” he said shifting his head trying to catch anything through the wavy lines.

“Aaa, come on George what are you doing?” Kramer asked.

“Watching TV, what does it look like?”

Jerry emerged from the bathroom.

“What are you two doing? Change the channel! George look at yourself, you have your face pressed up against the screen,” Jerry asked.

George shut off the television and sat on the couch.

“George why don’t you come over to my place to watch it?” Kramer asked walking over to the gray couch.

“Your place? Why? You don’t have cable at least not any thing special,” George replied without turning around.

“That was before I got a raise,” Kramer replied.

“What!? You got a raise? You don’t even have a job and you get a raise?!” Jerry complained loudly.

“I’m house sitting,” Kramer said.

“House sitting?” Jerry asked.

“It’s great... I’m getting paid to hang out at someone else’s house... eat their food...”

“That’s sound like job for me,” George said.

“George I thought you had cable?” Kramer asked.

“Nahh, I can’t afford it.”

“You came over here, and Jerry doesn’t have cable.” Kramer said.

“ I think the reception is better over here,” George replied.

“I think you don’t quite grasp the concept of cable...” Jerry said.

“George look at me. I have all 100 Channels including Pay-Per-View,” Kramer explained.

“Pay-Per-View?” George faced Kramer.

“Yes George, yes,” Kramer replied putting his right hand on George’s left shoulder.

“Alright, but let’s hurry the commercials are almost over,” George suggested.

“How can you tell when there’s a commercial?” Jerry asked sitting at the dining room table amidst The New York Times , eating a bowl of Cheerios.

“It’s the only thing that you can see without having to look in between the lines. Look I need to have something to eat while I’m watching a movie,” George replied

“Jerry?” Kramer asked.

“Sorry K-Man, all I’ve got is a pear...George?”

“I’ll pass, let’s go,” George replied.

“Awe come on George, these are perfectly good pears,”

“I’d don’t like their texture,” George replied.

“Hey Kramer you going back to Oasis tonight?” Jerry asked.

“I love to but it’s an exclusive club and I can’t get in without Newman.”

“Alright see you later.”

“Giddyup!!” Kramer replied closing the door.

Jerry smiled as he imagined Kramer and Newman amidst all those people dancing . He finished his bowl of cereal and began to wash it in the sink when the door pager buzzed alerting him that someone was downstairs.

He set the bowl in the sink, turned off the faucet and walked over to the pager and pushed the talk button.

“Yeah?” Jerry asked

“It’s me,” Elaine replied in a small voice.

“Come on up,” he answered her.

Jerry opened his door and sat down on the gray couch in front of the television and began to do the cross-word

“Hello!!” Elaine said with an English accent.

“Do I detect a trace of a English accent?”

“Oh sorry, it just that I been playing racquet ball with this person I met just a few weeks ago. She just moved here from London, England,” Elaine explained picking up the yellow-green pear.

“Really?” Jerry asked beginning to sound interested.

“Is this the only piece of fruit you have left?” Elaine asked holding the pear out with her left hand to show her friend.

“Yes. Now about your friend, is she...?” Jerry asked.

“Engaged, hooked up, going out with anybody?’ Elaine question suspiciously.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he replied to all of her questions.

“No don’t make me do this Jerry! You know I hate setting you with any of my friends. Besides what if she doesn’t like you?” Elaine pointed out.

“Not like me? Oh come on how could someone not like me?’ Jerry asked put his hand palms up while he shrugged his shoulders.

“How about Newman?”

“Ahh well he may not like me, but there are many people that don’t like him, many more don’t like him than don’t like me, you see,” Jerry explained.

“You should have never taken that poetry class. Besides if, and that it’s that big if, I set her up with you, what if it doesn’t work out?”

“So?”

“So, if she finds I purposely set her up with you than she could finish my friendship with her because I know you.”

“Who says she’ll end you guys’ friendship if my date with her doesn’t work out?” Jerry asked logically

“That’s the code we women have to live bye, the set-up doesn’t work, the friendship must be terminated. If I doesn’t work out, you move on. Girlfriends are easier to come by then friends,” Elaine pleaded

“Why is there something wrong with me?” Jerry asked.

“Nothing, it’s just I don’t think you’re her type,” Elaine said.

“Well what is her type?” Jerry asked.

“Oh don’t worry, if you don’t let it bother you, she probably won’t either,” Elaine replied.

“Okay fine. Tell me more about her. What kind of person is she?” Jerry asked.

“She’s a little taller than me. Her hairs the same color of hair. Except it’s straight and about shoulder length. She really has pretty face,” gesturing with her hands around her body.

“You think she’s pretty? What good does that do me,” Jerry said.

“Why what’s wrong with that?”

“Usually when a woman says another woman is pretty, she’s really not.”

“Would you just trust me on this one. Listen, I just stopped by to say hello and use your bathroom. I have to go, Anna and I are going to lunch,”

“I didn’t know you liked to play racquetball,” Jerry asked.

“It’s really exciting and she’s really good,” Elaine walking towards the bathroom.

“Like playing tennis in a huge box.”

Elaine made a face to let him know his comment wasn’t needed

Jerry turned his attention back on crossword puzzle when she saw George run into the room..

“I came back to get the pear, it can’t be all that bad.”

“Hey have you got shopping for Elaine’s birthday?” Jerry asked quickly

“Yeah, you think she’ll like this?” George asked producing a small package from his coat.

“What? You think maybe white’s not her color?” George replied worriedly.

“George, she doesn’t golf. Now Kramer--he golfs and this might be an acceptable gift for him, but not for Elaine,” Jerry explained to his friend.

“Oh, geez...”

“Here let me see that,” Jerry added motioning for George to hand over the package.

“You see here? These are men’s gloves. You didn’t even get her the gloves that were made for her.

“There men’s and women’s gloves!?” George asked.

“Course, you don’t see those woman golfers wearing gloves that are too big, and you don’t see those men golfers wearing these tiny little gloves now do you?”

“I really never watched Golf...do you think she’ll notice?”

“Sorry George.”

“Hmmm. Hey, you dated her for a while. A gift giving situation must of come up...”George asked frustrated.

“Women can be so hard to shop for, and an unliked gift is like asking picking a fight with Superman.

“So what should I do?”

Jerry was about to ask, but the sound of the bathroom door being unlocked forced him to freeze.

“Just get her gift a certificate, you can’t go wrong.”

“Thanks,” George replied leaving the apartment.

“Well I’m on my way, Cheerio!” Elaine said emerging from the bathroom.

“You going to talk to Anna for me?”

“Yeah, but I’m not guaranteeing anything.” Elaine said walking out.

“What’s she talking about?” George asked still lingering in the doorway.

“She just met this woman who’s single and from London, England and I ask her to set me up with her.,”

“London, England? I think those English accents are very sexy,” George.

“Exactly...”

Later lunch, Elaine and Anna decided to go shopping.

A next day, back at Jerry’s apartment.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jerry replied.

“When she came out of the bathroom...she didn’t even say hi . First she stops saying good-bye, and now hellos too?!” George asked.

“George she was in a hurry. Her good-bye was a general one--meant for everyone.

“Alright. Look, I better get going, I have to make over to the library before they close, they’re having some sort of renovation,” George replied.

“So what did you end up getting her?”

“I was planning to go after I went to the library, Kramer you ready?”

Kramer’s door burst opened and Kramer bounded out, and closed the door.

“Well, you ready to go?”

“Let’s go!!” he replied with a thumbs up.

As Kramer and George walked up the steps to New York’s Public Library, George said,

“Thanks for coming down here with me.”

“Yeah no problem, I’m going to get to the bottom of this whole Hitler thing,” Kramer said almost running into one of the two huge lion statues.

Soon Kramer found all his books and George was in the middle of striking up a conversation with the librarian.

“Well I’m ready,” Kramer said setting a stack of several books on the counter.

As the librarian began to check out the books, George said,

“I’m going to see if I can find that book. I’ll bet it’s here. That’ll prove that I returned it.”

“What book was it anyway Kramer asked.

“Interview With The Vampire by Anne Rice.”

“I didn’t think you liked Anne Rice,” Kramer said.

“Well...”

“Did you finish it?” Kramer probed.

“No, but I know I returned it. I’m going to go find it right now. And when I get back I be expecting some apologies!”

George left leaving Kramer alone with the librarian.

“You a World War Two buff?” she asked looking at his selection of books piled in front of her on the counter..

“Not really, just trying to find out something,” Kramer replied.

“What might that be?” she asked scanning another book.

George soon returned and said,

“Well all the copies are checked out. They must of knew I was coming.”

“Hey listen, let me give you my number. You can call me so we can get together and talk more about the Fuhrer.”

Kramer thanked her and took the paper.

“You know that woman is a wealth of information. She knew things I didn’t know,” Kramer said as they walked out of the library.

“So did you tell her about Hitler selling beer in Argentina?”

“Yeah, and she is not surprised to here it. She knew he was alive.”

“Yeah don’t you think it was strange when he referred to Hitler as “The Fuhrer” rather than just Hitler?” George asked

“That was his title, the Fuhrer, it means leader,” Kramer replied.

“Yeah, but you don’t see people being called the leader, or king,” George replied.

“That’s the way the do things over there. Tell me you wouldn’t mind being called the leader,” Kramer asked.

“I don’t know. Those leaders... someone’s always trying to assassinate them,” George added.

“She was quite a cute little thing, those strawberry blonde locks, that fair skin, those green eyes,” Kramer said imagining himself as a king of as nation and the librarian as his queen.

George was now more determined than ever to find out what Elaine liked to do so he get her a good gift. It would become a mission for him. Finally home after a busy day, Elaine decided to

relax by watching a movie that she had been wanting to see for sometime when a knock at her door caught her attention.

“Wonder who that could be?” Elaine asked herself aloud as she got up from the couch and walked over to the door.

George who was on the other side was currently think of how to ask Elaine what she liked to do and what her main interests were without arousing suspicion.. He decided to strike up a conversation with her and work his question into the conversation.

“Oh George what a surprise to see you!” Elaine said surprised.

“Yes well I though since my mom let me go out I’d come over here and see my friend Elaine,” George said partially lying.

“Wow that was sweet,” Elaine accepted his answer and letting him in.

“All is going well so far!” George thought to himself.

“Can I get you anything to drink? Water? Tea? A Pepsi?” Elaine

offered.

“No, no thanks I...Hey!! Wow Jungle Hunt 2? Boy, you know I’ve always by wanting to see this since it came out on video. This is the sequel to Chaingun Commando!” George said recognizing the actor on the paused screen.

“Well I was going to watch it...” Elaine said but was cut off by George’s reply.

“Oh than I come back some other time,”

“No, no don’t leave I mean you came over here so you might as well watch it,” Elaine offered.

“Thanks I’ll have to return the favor sometime,” George blabbed.

“Yeah right,” Elaine whispered to herself.

When she was sure he was well into the movie’s plot she asked him,

“George you and I have been friends for quiet some time now. And during that time Our trust for one another has grown tremendously

George responded with,

“Yes,” not listening, deeply absorbed into the movie.

“So let’s keep this between you and me,” Elaine continued.

“Keep what?” George replied dumbly stuffing his face with some popcorn.

“George look at me,” Elaine said taking the popcorn from his hands.

“Huh?” he asked.

“Jerry’s smart guy, but not always when it comes to purchasing gifts,” Elaine explained.

“Do you have anything to drink? This popcorn is making me thirsty,” George said barely catching a word of what Elaine had just said to him.

“Yeah sure,” Elaine replied becoming a little frustrated that he wasn’t listening.

Elaine went to get him something to drink and George reacquainted himself with the plot of the movie.

“Here. Now about Jerry’s gift,” Elaine said handing George a glass of ice water.

“What about his gift,” George asked sipping the water.

“What did he get me?” Elaine asked.

George squirmed in his seat and hesitated.

Meanwhile back at Jerry’s apartment.

“...so that’s when I said to her: you can’t sit there, that’s where the dog sits!” Jerry replied to Anna.

Anna was beginning to sound disinterested.

“Uhh have you seen the new TV Guide?” Jerry asked picking it up from the coffee table.

“I think I better be going,” Anna said getting up from the couch.

“It has Jewel on the cover..”

Not two seconds had passed after Anna had left before Kramer

burst uncontrollably through Jerry’s door.

“Now who was that?” Kramer asked pointing to the door with an interested smile.

“Oh that was Anna Locksley, Elaine’s new friend,” Jerry replied with no excitement.

“What’s wrong?” Kramer asked.

Jerry meanwhile was pacing back and forth.

“Well things weren’t going very well in the first place, then when she got up to leave she gave me the look,”

“The look?” Kramer asked surprised.

“Yes the look,” Jerry replied worriedly.

“Ohh that’s not good,” Kramer warned.

“Have you ever gotten the look?” Jerry asked.

“Once and it wasn’t pretty,” Kramer replied scrunching up his face.

“I just hope she and Elaine will remain friends,” Jerry said.

“Don’t bet on it,” Kramer said.

Anna had just came down the stairs when she noticed Becky.

“That’s cute jacket, where’s you get it?” Anna said.

“You really think so...”

Ten minutes passed and Kramer was now pacing his apartment. In frustration he opened the door to his door and looked out in the hall--no Becky.

“Hey Elaine!” he called to Elaine.

“What?” she asked.

“Did you see a woman about 5’6” with sandy blonde hair in the lobby?” he asked.

Jerry opened the door to see what all the yelling was about.

“What’s going on out here?” he asked.

“I’m looking for Becky, she’s late.”

“I saw her down in the lobby talking to Anna.”

“You don’t think...nah,” Jerry said.

“Looks that way,” Kramer replied

“What are you to talking about?”

“Don’t you see? Becky is down the lobby talking to Anna, instead of up here with me,”

“Boy just like that,” Jerry said.

“So what. You guys can’t be serious. Just because Becky is down in the lobby talking to Anna, doesn’t mean Becky’s now a Lesbian,” Elaine replied catching on to what they were talking about.

“How else would you explain it?” Jerry asked.

“Look, I have many conversations with other woman and I’m not a Lesbian,”

“We don’t know that for sure,” Jerry replied sarcastically.

“Seriously,”

“Jerry there’s a fail safe way to prove it,”

“How?”

“We could have Elaine be our spy to find out what’s going on.”

“Oh no were not going to have Elaine be our spy,” she replied putting her hands up.

“Come on Elaine, please?” Jerry asked.

“Why can’t one of you too do it?”

“Were the enemy, we need a neutral party,”

“What about George?”

“George with two women, trying to find out if they’re both Lesbians? Hmm I see your point.”

“So than you’ll do it?”

“Alright,” Elaine replied a little irritated.

“Report back in a 1800 hours,” Kramer said looking at her then his watch,”

“I’ll get back when I can,” she replied as she left.

Elaine found neither Becky of Anna in the lobby so she decided to page Jerry.

“Yeah?”

“Jerry, they’re not here, they must of both left.”

“Okay thanks.” Jerry replied.

“Well? Kramer asked pacing around the room.

“They left.”

“What’s plan B?” Kramer asked.

“Fall back, we have to call the troops together for a mission debriefing,” Jerry replied in a serious tone.

A few days had passed and Elaine had not heard from Anna which left her concerned so she decided to call her one day after she got off work.

“Hey, Anna, you up for a game of racquet ball tomorrow?” Elaine said.

“Uhh I don’t know Elaine, I might be kind of busy,” Anna replied.

“Busy?” she thought to herself.

“Well may we can see a movie,”

“Alright...”

Soon the details were set. When Elaine got to Anna’s place, she met found Becky already there.

“Elaine, there’s someone I’d like you to meet, Elaine this is Becky Armstrong. Becky, Elaine Benise,” Anna said introducing them.

“Nothing unusual so far,” she thought to herself with a courtesy smile directed at Becky.

During the movie Elaine felt like a third wheel and looked over to strike up a conversation with either of then when she saw it.

Elaine opened the door to the coffee shop and sat down next

to Jerry. Kramer and George were on the other side.

“Well?” Kramer asked.

“What? No hi Elaine how are you?” she asked tiredly.

“Sorry,” he replied.

“Well the verdict is in.”

“And?” Jerry asked.

“Their not Lesbians, but there’re becoming quite chummy

“Not Lesbians? Boy...”

“What do you mean chummy?”

.“ I saw them sharing popcorn during the movie.”

“Maybe one of them bought it.”

“No, I bought it.”

“Where was it?”

“Between them.”

“What did you do?” Jerry asked.

“Pretended not to notice.”

“I knew there was something odd about Anna,” George said.

The whole group looked at him.

“She didn’t make a pass at me,”

“Oh right,” Elaine said rolling her eyes.

“Sorry ‘lainy, I’ll tell you what you got on your hands...you got a friend stealer,” Jerry said.

“Oh no, you think?”

“Positive?”

“Yes.”

“What’s going to happen now?”

“Anna and Becky there’d be, Elaine and Anna you won’t see,”

“Maybe I can try to get Anna and Becky back!” George said.

“No thanks okay,” Elaine said doubting him.

“I’d like to get in on that, could you make me you deputy?” Kramer asked,

“Sure and I’ll be his spy,” Elaine said sarcastically.

“Hey so what happened to you quest to find Hitler?” asked George to Kramer.

“Quest to find Hitler?” Elaine asked.

“Kramer saw a picture in a tabloid of Hitler. It said he was alive in Argentina selling beer,” Jerry explained.

“Those things are all made up, what was the name of the beer? Der Fuhrer Beer?” Elaine joked.

“Yeah...” Kramer asked astonished.

“George looks like you’ll have to pay the fine after all,” Kramer began.

“What!? Why!?” George asked frantically.

“Apparently the librarian got fired.”

“Fired why?”

“I also found out why she knew so much about World War Two,” Kramer asked

“Oh come on, just because she knows a lot about World War two, doesn’t make her a Nazi. She just a buff.” Elaine replied realizing what they were getting at.

“Yeah, maybe your right.”

“Well happy birthday, here’s your gift,” Jerry said handing her a medium sized package.

She opened it and said.

“A racquet ball racquet, thanks,” Elaine said not like not liking the gift.

“Sorry, I bought it before this whole thing happened,” Jerry said.

“Yeah I’m sorry, thanks anyway for the gift. It’s the thought that counts. Maybe I ought to take up golf,” she replied frustrated.

George glared at Jerry.

“Here is my gift to you,” George said handing Elaine a small bag.

Elaine opened the bag and inside was CD: Belinda Carlisle: Her Greatest Hits.

“Thanks George,” she replied.

“You don’t like Belinda Carlisle?”

“She okay...”

“You want me to take it back?”

“NO! I didn’t say I hated her.”

“And last but certainly not least...” Kramer said pulling up a small package from the seat next to him.

“Wow, what is it?” Elaine asked.

“Open it,” Kramer suggested with enthusiasm.

Elaine opened it and saw a Clairol band hair coloring kit.

“Uhh thanks ,” Elaine said.

“You dye don’t you?”

“How old am I?”

“30...20,” Kramer said guessing.

Jerry and George meanwhile knew Kramer was digging himself a whole.

“It’s for when your older or even if you looking for that new look,” Kramer explained.

“Thanks,” Elaine replied managing a weak smile.

“Well, after all this, I hope you and Anna will still be friends,” Jerry said.

“Not after what she did.”

“What she do?” asked Jerry

“I got the look. I’ve never gotten the look!!” Elaine complained.

“Very bizarre thing the look is. No words said, not even real body language, just a look,”

“You gonna return the look?” Kramer asked putting down his newspaper.

“Na, I definitely don’t need to start something,” Elaine said.

Suddenly three police officers entered the restaurant and handcuffed a woman and dragged her out.

“Hey Isn’t that librarian from the New York Public Library on the news? Looks like I was right,” George replied.

“Well, Georgie-boy, looks like your payin’ the fine. You oughta be glad you didn’t bring her home to your parents,” Jerry said sipping his coffee.

“I kinda think I would have, something to get my parents back, they never liked anyone I brought home,”

“They never do,” Elaine said opening her new CD.