The Bet

"I'm tired of playing cards," LeBeau lamented, "That's all we ever do!"

"Well, what would you suggest, Louie?" Newkirk asked, feeling very smug from winning the pot at poker for the umpteenth time.

"I don't know," LeBeau answered, "But we need something different to bet on. We already know that you're the best poker player in the barracks!"

"I know," said Carter, tapping the small box that was on his lap, "Let's find another mouse to race against ol' Felix here, and we can bet on who wins!"

"Andrew," Kinch chided, "Even if we find another mouse, how are we going to pull that off? You'd need to have some kind of track to race them on, and even then, trying to get them to cooperate would be almost impossible."

"No, it's easy!" Carter responded, getting carried away with excitement. "See, all we need to do is build two long ramps, and we put the mice in at one end, and some food at the other, and then watch them go! Why, my cousin and me used to do stuff like that all the time back home. I remember this one time…."

"Enough!" LeBeau bellowed, "Carter, hasn't anyone told you that you talk too much? Besides, your idea won't work here."

"That's right," Kinch said, "Where could we hide something like that so the Krauts don't find it? And if they do, they'll take the whole thing away, including Felix."

Carter's brow furrowed. "Oh, yeah, I guess I hadn't thought about that," he said, his enthusiasm waning.

Newkirk had been watching all this with an inward glee. Now he smiled and leaned forward. "Guess you mates will just have to stick with ol' Peter Newkirk, and try your luck with the cards!" he stated, barely containing his amusement.

"Oh no, we don't!" LeBeau huffed, wanting to find a way to wipe that superior smile off his friend's face. Newkirk had been getting too full of himself lately. "Maybe what we need," he said, mulling it over, "Is something that involves you more personally. Something like…like…."

"How about we have Newkirk race Felix?" Kinch threw in, a smile spreading across his face.

Newkirk looked at Kinch in disgust. "Bloody charming," he said, rolling his eyes.

"No, no!" LeBeau exclaimed, "It needs to be something like… I've got it!" He shouted; his face lighting up. "Since Newkirk thinks he's such a ladies' man, how about we bet on who's the best kisser?" He sat down and smiled, pleased with his idea.

Kinch looked confused. "What do you mean, Louie? Who's the best kisser of what? The barracks? The camp? That's a lot of guys you're talking about, you know."

"No, not the whole camp," LeBeau retorted, "I was thinking we could make it a contest between Newkirk and someone else here who has a reputation with the 'fairer sex', shall we say? Someone like… Colonel Hogan!"

Newkirk's eyes widened as he leaned back. "What? Louie, you're daft! First of all, while the Colonel may fancy himself a ladies ' man; and I'm not saying he isn't, mind you, I've had plenty of 'experiences' me self, and I'd hate to humiliate the gov'nor by winning; which of course, goes without saying."

The other guys all chimed in at once; trying to tell Newkirk how wrong he was, when Newkirk raised his hand.

"And secondly," He said, quieting the din, "How do you propose to find out which one of us is better? I'm not kissin' any of you blokes, and I'm sure Colonel Hogan won't, either!"

Why do I always have to think of everything? LeBeau thought to himself. "Newkirk, I don't think you have to worry about that. No, I was thinking we could get a girl..."

"I'm listening," Newkirk said, leaning forward with interest.

"And we get her to kiss you." LeBeau continued, "And then the Colonel, and let her decide which one is better."

Kinch looked thoughtful, rather surprised that he was going along with such a preposterous idea. "It would have to be someone who could be impartial; someone who has never met Colonel Hogan or Newkirk."

Carter, who had been following the conversation, hesitant to say anything for fear of getting shot down again, now piped up. "You guys are serious about this, aren't you? Well, if you ask me, you'll never get Colonel Hogan to do it. He's gonna think it's too silly."

"You may be right," Kinch replied. 'I don't see the Colonel being too willing to participate in something like this."

"Might be for the best, mates," Newkirk said. "I'd hate to be the one to show up the Colonel, especially in front of a bird, although I still like the idea of bringin' one here!"

"Oh, that's it!" LeBeau exclaimed. He'd had more than enough of Newkirk's boasting. "C'mon, we're going to ask the Colonel." He got up and started toward Hogan's office, gesturing to the others to follow.

Colonel Hogan was sitting at the table in his quarters, looking over some maps that they had recently obtained from the underground. He heard a knock on the door and absently called out, "Come in." He looked up to see his four men enter the room, a question playing across their faces. Hogan actually welcomed the intrusion; he could use a break. "What's up?" He asked, trying to spot a clue in their expressions.

"Mon Colonel," LeBeau started, "We have come up with a bet that we would like you to, ah, participate in."

"What do you mean, 'We'?" Newkirk said, rather surprised. "It was your bloody idea, Louie!"

They all started talking at once, arguing about who started the whole thing, when Hogan finally shouted, "Alright fellas, knock it off! Will one of you get to the point, please?"

"Sorry, Colonel," Kinch apologized for all of them. "Anyway, the bet is between you and Newkirk. The guys want to find out which of you is the better kisser."

"That's right, Colonel," LeBeau chimed in. "And we have a plan to test it. We can bring in a girl that doesn't know either of you, have her kiss you, then Newkirk, and she can tell us who is better."

Hogan looked at his men, inwardly shaking his head. Things had been slow lately, but he hadn't realized how bored these guys must be to have come up with this! He stood up and walked over to them, as they were still clustered by the door. He stopped next to Newkirk and turned to face them. "Are you serious?" He said, wondering if they knew how ridiculous their idea was. "Don't you fellas have anything better to do?"

"That's just what I said, boy! Uh, I mean Colonel!" Carter exclaimed, "Didn't I tell you he wouldn't go for it?" He added, looking satisfactorily at the others.

"Now hold on there, Carter," LeBeau challenged, "Colonel Hogan hasn't said no. Maybe he just needs to think about it."

"Well, I'm game," Newkirk said, "Especially if the girl you bring in is a good-looking bird!"

Hogan had heard enough. "Now let me get this straight. You want to bring some poor, innocent girl in here, have her take turns kissing Newkirk and myself, and then let her decide who kisses better? Don't you think that's a bit unfair…to the girl? Besides," Hogan continued, feeling himself getting sucked into this, despite his misgivings, "I'm afraid there's no contest here. Although I'm sure Newkirk can hold his own," he said, putting his arm around Newkirk's shoulders, "I don't think he could top me in the, uh, kissing department." Hogan finished, a grin forming on his face. Sometimes he just couldn't help teasing them a little, especially Newkirk.

For his part, Newkirk gave Hogan the most shocked look he could muster. "What? Beggin' your pardon, sir, but I think I could give you a run for your money in that 'department'! I've kissed a few birds in my day that 'ave taught me a thing or two. Sorry Colonel, but I've got you on this one." Then Newkirk grinned, secretly hoping that Colonel Hogan would take the bait. He could do with some time spent locking lips with a pretty Fraulein.

"You see what we have to put up with, Colonel?" LeBeau exclaimed. "You've got to do it sir, just to shut him up!"

"Yeah, Colonel," Carter added, "Why don't you? My money's on you, sir!"

"Oui, Colonel, my money is on you, too!" LeBeau replied excitedly. "Let me go find a girl, and we can settle this once and for all."

The men started talking at once, and LeBeau turned to leave, when Hogan, thoroughly exasperated by now, yelled, "Hold it, hold it! If you guys really want to know which one of us is a better kisser, we'll settle it right now, and we're not going to involve some unsuspecting girl from town!"

Hogan, with his left arm still draped across Newkirk's shoulders, turned in to face him. He put his other hand on Newkirk's face, and, pulling him close, quickly but firmly planted his lips on Newkirk's own. Newkirk's eyes opened wide, and he let out a gasp in utter disbelief. Hogan moved a little closer, slipping his tongue into Newkirk's mouth. This ought to shut them all up, Hogan thought to himself ruefully.

Newkirk, in complete shock, stood there for a few moments, letting Colonel Hogan kiss him, feeling Hogan's tongue dance lazily in his mouth. Finally his wits started coming back to him, and he realized he had his hands on Hogan's shoulders, his arms inside the taller man's embrace. He'd apparently thrown them up in a protective gesture when Hogan had grabbed him. He started to push Hogan away, but by then the Colonel had released him, backing off a step or two.

Hogan could tell that Newkirk had finally realized what was happening, and just when he felt the Englishman start to push on his shoulders, he pulled away, breaking the kiss, and stepped back. He wasn't quite sure how Newkirk was going to react, but he thought he better be ready for anything. He glanced at the other three men in the room, and noticed their shocked expressions, mouths agape, looking for all the world like a row of Gestapo soldiers were pointing guns at them and saying, "Any last words?"

Hogan knew he better say something. "There, that wasn't so hard!" He said, trying to sound nonchalant about the whole thing. He looked at Newkirk, whose green eyes were as wide as saucers. "Not bad, not bad," he said, appearing to contemplate the technical merits of the kiss he had just shared with him. "But I didn't sense a whole lot of…effort on your part, Newkirk." Hogan continued, "If that's the best you can do, I'm afraid I'll have to declare myself the winner." He knew he hadn't really given Newkirk a chance, but he wanted to knock his cocky Corporal down a peg or two.

In the meantime, Newkirk was struggling to get a hold of himself. Had that really happened? Had Colonel Hogan actually kissed him? He wasn't sure whether to run from the room and try to forget this ever happened, or throw a punch at his Colonel and risk a Court Martial. While he was contemplating his next course of action, Colonel Hogan's words filtered into his brain, and he couldn't believe his ears. The Colonel's actually declaring himself the winner, Newkirk thought, amazed by the sheer audacity of that man. Why, He kept thinking, He didn't even give me a bleedin' chance! I've a mind to show him just how wrong he is!

And then, before he could stop himself, Newkirk moved in close to Colonel Hogan. He looked the Colonel in the eye, and exclaimed, "You haven't won yet, sir!" He reached up, grabbed Hogan's face, and pulled Hogan towards him to give him a kiss of his own.

Of all the reactions that Hogan thought Newkirk might have, this certainly wasn't one of them! He felt Newkirk's lips land on his, but this time there was a force behind them. Newkirk pushed his tongue into Hogan's mouth, and began to twirl it in a most interesting manner. Hogan knew he should stop this right now, but instead he found himself suddenly curious to see where Newkirk was going. Just then Newkirk coaxed Hogan's tongue into his own mouth, wrapped his lips around it, and began to suck on it gently but firmly. Hogan had never experienced anything like this before, and a fog started to form in his brain. He closed his eyes, feeling a strong desire rising in him. He had his hands on Newkirk's shoulders, but now he snaked his arms around the Corporal, pulling him closer.

Newkirk smiled inwardly to himself. He knew he could get a reaction out of the Colonel. Just a bit longer, he thought to himself, and we'll all know who the real winner is! He worked on Hogan's tongue for several more seconds, and then released it, letting his own tongue slip back into Hogan's mouth; twirling it again the way he had been taught by one of the more experienced birds he had known in London. That oughtta do it, He decided, and started to release his hold on the Colonel.

Hogan was losing himself in the most delicious kiss he had experienced in a long time. The fog of desire was enveloping him, clouding his mind. He felt Newkirk let go of his tongue, felt Newkirk's tongue enter his mouth once again, moving it around and around in a delightful ballet, felt his own tongue trying to match it, when suddenly Newkirk began pulling away, taking that exquisite tongue with him. No, Hogan thought, pure desire overwhelming him, it can't end yet! He opened his eyes in time to see Newkirk looking up at him, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Hogan, now utterly consumed with lust, knew he had to have more. He pulled Newkirk tight against his body, wrapping his arms around him securely; as if to prevent any chance of escape. He thrust his tongue into Newkirk's mouth, kissing him hard and deep. A moan escaped his lips, and he closed his eyes again; giving himself over to his desire, not caring who he was kissing anymore, it just felt sooo good…

Newkirk was convinced that he had won. After he pulled away from Colonel Hogan, he looked at him, ready to announce his victory, when he noticed the intense desire burning in Hogan's eyes. Suddenly Hogan grabbed him, pulling him firmly against his body, his arms encircling him like a vice. Hogan started kissing him passionately, deeply, and he knew he had gone too far! He felt more than heard Hogan moan, and he felt something else; something growing, pressing against him, and he had a pretty sure bet what it was! He knew he needed to stop this as quickly as possible.

But Hogan had a death grip on him. Newkirk started to struggle, pushing against Hogan's chest, trying to extricate himself from his grasp. He also tried to pull away from Hogan's kiss, although this was proving to be difficult. As he tried to bring his head back, Hogan followed, kissing him even harder. Finally he was able to gain some leverage, and with one strong push, got Hogan off of him.

"Bloody hell, Colonel," Newkirk choked out, "What are you doing?"

The fog started to lift, reluctantly, from Hogan's brain. He realized what he'd just done, and had to find a way to fix this, fast! An idea suddenly popped into his head. He looked at Newkirk, trying to give him the best puppy-dog eyes he could muster.

"Newkirk, will you marry me?" He asked, sounding as sincere as he could, then let a huge grin spread across his face.

"Oh, for…" Newkirk exclaimed, finding himself at a loss for words, "You aren't…I mean, that wasn't…Blimey, Colonel, were you joking with me this whole time?"

Hogan winked at him, a big smile plastered across his face. "Sorry, Newkirk, but you were asking for it!" he said, secretly wishing he could get Newkirk alone for a while and pick up where they left off. If Newkirk was willing, that is, which he doubted. Suddenly he remembered the other three men in the room. He looked at them still standing there, the same look of shock on their faces. They hadn't moved, although Hogan thought he remembered Kinch muttering something under his breath once or twice during his encounter with Newkirk. How was he going to explain this? Hogan thought, frantically trying to come up with something clever.

Kinch couldn't believe what he'd just seen. Colonel Hogan and Newkirk kissing! And the Colonel had started it! He had tried to say something, but each time he opened his mouth, all that came out was, "Holy cats!" Now it appeared that they had finished, and Colonel Hogan was looking at them. Kinch felt his astonishment begin to dissipate, and he forced himself to come back to reality. It felt like he had been standing there for hours, when the entire spectacle had, in fact, lasted only a few minutes.

LeBeau and Carter were having similar internal struggles, wondering if what they'd just seen really happened. It appeared as though Colonel Hogan was going to say something, which seemed to bring them out of their paralysis.

"Well," Hogan started, his brain still not cooperating, "I guess that takes care of that!" Maybe I should just order everyone out of here, and deal with this later, He thought to himself.

"That takes care of what, Colonel?" Kinch asked; the first one to find his voice. "Uh, what just happened here, anyway?"

"What, didn't you see?" Newkirk exclaimed, "The Colonel's crackers! He thought he could win the ruddy bet by kissin' me directly! He's gone 'round the bend, he has!"

LeBeau finally remembered he could talk. "But Newkirk," he said, "You kissed him back."

"That's because he cheated!" Newkirk responded, indignant. "I couldn't let him win like that, now could I?"

"Now hold on," Hogan interjected, "I didn't cheat! Besides," he continued, "You, ah, showed me that when it comes to kissing, you know what you're doing."

"So who is the winner then, Colonel?" asked LeBeau, already regretting coming up with the whole idea.

Hogan contemplated his answer. "Well, while I consider myself experienced in matters such as this," Hogan stated, "Newkirk seems to have more experience than I, uh, anticipated. I'm afraid I'm going to have to declare him the winner." Hogan knew this announcement was going to make Newkirk insufferable for at least a month, but he had to be fair. The man's got talent, he confessed to himself, wondering what else the Englishman could show him, if Hogan could talk him into it. Never dreamed I'd have thoughts like this about a man! Hogan smiled inwardly, wondering if this place was finally getting to him.

"See Louie, I told you!" Newkirk exclaimed, triumphantly.

"Oh, Mon Colonel," LeBeau lamented, "You cannot declare him the winner. He will be impossible!"

"Yeah, Colonel," Kinch said, "Are you sure you want to do that?"

Carter, who hadn't said anything the whole time, now piped up, "If the Colonel says that Newkirk wins, then Newkirk wins. But I have to say, Colonel, that you sure picked a funny way to find out."

The men started talking at each other, emotions getting heated, when they heard Hogan shouting, "All right, all right! I think we've all had enough of this!" When he had their attention, Hogan continued, "Besides," he said, "Isn't it time for you fellas to be getting ready for bed? We've got lights out in 15 minutes."

"Yes, Colonel." they responded, almost in unison. LeBeau, closest to the door, opened it, and they all started filing out. Newkirk was last in line, and when he reached the door, he turned to look at Colonel Hogan.

"Sir," he said, his voice low, "That wasn't all a joke on your part, was it?"

Hogan smiled. "Would you like to stay here with me for a while and find out?" He asked him, amusement mixed with a hint of desire dancing across his eyes.

"No sir!" Newkirk quickly answered, turning and heading out the door. He was closing the door behind him, when he stopped and turned back, poking his head through the opening. "Colonel?" he said quietly. Hogan looked at him, curious. "Ask me again, some other time." Newkirk finished. He gave Hogan a wink, and flashed him one of his most brilliant smiles. Then he was gone, shutting the door behind him.

Hogan, alone again, stood there for a moment, staring at the closed door to his office. "You bet I will," he said softly to himself, then began to get ready for bed.

The End

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