|Poor Severus Snape
Author: EroSenin'sDeciplesKJT PM
Snape is just trying to have a normal life. He succeeds until his life is interrupted by an unexpected visitor. This is a crossover fic! No pairings.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Humor - Severus S. & Jafar - Words: 1,640 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11-02-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4631901
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The snickers followed Severus Snape down the hallway as he walked to Albus Dumbledore's office. While he normally would have turned around and sent a well directed glare, he did not have time. He finally reached Dumbledore's office and took the seat offered.
"You wanted to see me, Professor?" Snape asked in greeting.
"Yes, Severus. The school year is about to become very interesting. There will be two new people coming to the school."
"And who would those people be?" Snape asked cautiously.
"You see, this is where things become slightly complicated. They will be coming from two different universes. One is Jafar. He will be coming to fill in the Defense Against the Dark Arts position." At this, Snape frowned slightly still sore that he did not get the position, again. "And the other is Rock Lee. He will be a student."
"When are they expected to arrive?" Snape asked.
"They should be here with in the next couple of days. Jafar will probably be housed with you until his quarters can be prepared."
"With me? Why can't you put him with someone else who is not me." Snape finished with more of a statement.
"Because I have been told that you have similar personalities. I figured that it would be a good thing." Dumbledore replied.
Snape stood to take his leave realizing that Dumbledore was going to do what he wanted to do and no arguing was going to convince him otherwise. "Is that all?"
"That is all. I will let you know when the new people arrive."
Two days later, Snape was summoned to Dumbledore's office. As he entered he noticed a person who was dressed strangely. He was tall and had a long face. He had a beard that came into a swirl. He was wearing the biggest hat he had ever seen. Snape was sure that the snake staff he carried had real rubies for eyes. At least he was wearing robes, but Snape was not sure about the shoes. They looked like they would be worn in ancient times around a Middle Eastern palace.
"This is Jafar. Jafar, this is Professor Severus Snape. You will be staying with him throughout the duration of your stay." Snape started at that. Duration of his stay? What had happened to until his quarters were prepared? Dumbledore glanced at Snape and it was clear that Dumbledore did not want to have to hear about it at the moment.
Dumbledore finished telling Jafar his duties as a professor at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. "Severus will show you around and if you have any questions please feel free to contact me."
Jafar nodded and followed Snape out of the room. Neither of them wanted to talk to each other. Finally they made it down to the dungeon. Snape showed Jafar the spare room and managed to do it with less than ten words. He quickly left Jafar to get settled in and went to his room. It had been a long day. First he had to deal with all the delinquent students and now this. Snape stripped down to his underwear and climbed into bed. Sleep quickly overtook him and he drifted off.
Bam! Bam! Boom!
Snape sat straight up in bed and looked toward the door that led to his living room. He quickly got up and went to investigate the noises that sounded like they belonged in the classroom and not in his living room. He threw the door open [Okay- fangirl moment! Snape flinging open a door in just underwear! Picture just plain white boxers and oh my, my! Squeal!] and stormed in to find Jafar doing spells.
"What are you doing?" Snape asked icily.
"I am doing spells." Jafar replied without much enthusiasm.
"In case you did not know, spells are not normally done in living quarters. And you will be teaching students on how to defend against dark spells. Now go to bed and do not wake up until the morning so that I can get to sleep."
"I am truly sorry for disturbing you." Jafar said as turned toward the room where he was staying. Snape rolled his eyes and went back to bed.
Snape was sitting at his desk waiting for students to arrive for class. All of a sudden, the door opened and there was a face in his face.
"Professor Snape! I am Rock Lee of Konoha! What can I do to improve myself in your class?"
"First you can get out of my face." Snape replied with a glare.
Lee jumped back and saluted. It took all Snape had to not slap the boy. It then took everything Snape had to not throw up when he saw what Lee was wearing. A green spandex outfit that showed everything. And he had a bowl cut. This kid was going to be trouble for him.
Other students soon came in and took their seats. Snape set them making a potion that he was sure would be messed up. Sure enough, not five minutes into the making of the potion, there a bam was heard and then a blue cloud of smoke filled the room. Snape quickly expelled the cloud and saw who had caused it. "Weasley and Potter. How I wish I could do away with those two." Snape thought as he went to inspect what they had done wrong.
Class finally ended and Snape let out a sigh of relief. If it wasn't for his loyalty to Dumbledore then he would have left years ago so he would not have to deal with the snot nose brats. However, there was another class on the way and he had to prepare for it.
The class filed into Defense Against the Dark Arts. As they took there seats, they all looked up at their new professor. He stepped out of the shadows and several of the girls let out gasps, of surprise or lust no one knew. "I am Professor Jafar and you will learn how to defend yourself against the dark arts. I hope you have read your book because if you have not, you will be at a serious disadvantage." By now, the class looked like they were ready to die. Except for two people. Hermione Granger and Rock Lee were prepared as always. "I will throw spells at you and you have to defend against them. You will have no warning as to when the spells will be sent your way so be prepared."
When class ended an hour later several students were walking out with some form of a battle scar. It was mostly bruises and minor cuts though. The only ones who did not have a wound were Lee and Hermione who were being shot evil glares. Some students had looks of utter fright on their faces from where Jafar had seemed like a madman when throwing spells their way. Jafar came to the door and smirked as he looked at all of the students. Yes, the information he learned here would surely help him when he got back to Agrabah. His plan would come to fruition.
"Now is the winter of our discontent." Snape intoned as he read his nightly Shakespeare. He was not a big fan of the famous writer, but it was good for helping one fall asleep. However he heard a noise that disturbed him. It was singing. And it was coming from Jafar's room. Snape went to the door and heard Jafar singing, "Hey good lookin'! What cha got cooking? How about cookin' something up with me?"
Snape banged on the door to get Jafar's attention. Jafar came to the door and was dressed like Hank Williams (Senior people, not Junior. Though that would be quite funny.) "Yes?" Jafar asked in his silky voice.
"Keep it down. You are disturbing my reading." Snape replied with a straight face.
"I am so sorry. I am just practicing my singing. I have a career you know."
"I am sure." Snape replied while thinking, "This guy is nuts! Why is Dumbledore punishing me?"
"Yes. I will let you in on my plan. I am going to go back to Agrabah and become a country and western star! I will be worshiped by my many fans. My goal to become sultan was thwarted, but this I will succeed in." With that, Jafar let out a yell and disappeared with a bang leaving a confused Snape to wonder what the hell had just happened.
Snape never did mention why Jafar had left, mainly because he did not believe him. The professors traded off on who was going to teach Defense against the Dark Arts, the majority of the classes falling to Snape who did not mind at all. Rock Lee stayed throughout the school year before returning back to his own universe. Before he left, he declared that his Hokage would be pleased with the union that had been made between the two worlds and how he was excited about returning. Now for Jafar. He went back to Agrabah and attempted to start his musical career. Want to know how far it got? You can go visit the Arabian Nights bar every Thursday and Friday night from eight to eleven and hear the sounds of Jafar and his Arabian Playboys.
A/N: This is my submission for the second challenge. It is full of crack and makes absolutely no sense. Oh, you get cyber cheesecake if you get who I was referencing with the Arabian Playboys. (Hint: Based on an old country band.) If you would like to know the rules I had to meet, go to the profile and look at the rules for "K". Now don't forget to review!