Standard Disclaimer

Hope you had a happy 4th of July. Rained like hell here till just before fireworks so at least I got to see them. Cold and damp, but I saw them.

X-X

It Can’t Get Worse

Chapter – 8

It had taken two weeks before Hikari had finally had enough of the silent treatment from both Asuka and Shinji. Nobody knew what happened again, one day everything is fine and approaching normal, and then the next neither said a word to anybody. It was worse than the Asuka masturbating incident because now they weren’t just ignoring each other they were boycotting humanity. So taking it upon herself, like all good intending busybodies, Hikari got Rei to take Shinji and she hustled Asuka off to her home after school.

Now sitting in her tiny room next to Asuka, Hikari almost lost her resolve. “So are you going to tell me what you did this time to get the wall of silence from Shinji?” It helped if she didn’t look at Asuka, looking at her friend made her a little flustered. Nozomi had taken to hiding the moment Asuka stalked into the house, a telling sign. “Everybody is worried about you two,” she threw in just to keep from sounding like a harpy.

Asuka had been expecting this conversation eventually. Ever since the realization that he’d never get back his old body, he knew one day he’d have to tell everybody that Lil Asuka was here to stay so submit or get out of the way. “I’m stuck like this, Hikari.” The bitterness and anger was gone from his voice, he’d made peace with it. In some strange way Asuka was actually happy it failed though, comparing the two sexes, Asuka preferred being a boy. “I’m never going to get my body back.”

Her sympathetic nature instantly kicking in, Hikari took Asuka’s hand and held it. “I’m sorry, Asuka. I guess anybody would be a little shaken up after learning that.” It did go a long way to explain why both of them were so morose. Feeling Asuka’s hand squeezing hers gently, reminded the girl of her previous thought. That if Asuka was going to be stuck as a boy, maybe she had found herself a boyfriend. “Is there anything I can do?”

Falling back on Hikari’s bed, still holding her hand, Asuka covered his eyes with the other. “That’s only part of things. I’m not upset about that anymore. Being a guy is a lot nicer than I thought it would be. Well, after getting that damn penis to listen to me that is.” And that was the bugger of it all, once he wrangled in Little Asuka being a boy had a lot of advantages. “And while I rather not talk about what is really going wrong, I doubt you’ll let me leave until I do.”

Giggling, Hikari’s gaze never left Asuka, “I’m not letting go of you until you tell me everything.” She swung the aforementioned appendage lightly, “Friends talk to each other when they have problems, and now I want you to talk to me about what’s got you so down.” If there was anything she could do to help, Hikari was all for it.

His hand groping at Hikari’s sheets, “Shinji,” he finally said gruffly. Sitting back up, head low and shoulders hunched, “Did you know she loves me? That despite all the horrible things I’ve done and said about her, that she actually loves me?” Asuka still couldn’t wrap her brain around that one. All his defense mechanisms to keep people away from him, everything he did to protect his fragile inner workings, none of them kept Shinji from feeling the way she did. And that made Asuka love her more in return.

For the first time since sitting down, Hikari couldn’t look at Asuka. “I knew, she let the cat out of the bag the other day when we went to the mall.” It wasn’t betrayal, if Asuka knew already what harm could be done. “So she finally told you?” From the conversation the day before things went to hell, Hikari doubted Shinji would ever own up and confesses. I guess Asuka turned her down and that’s what caused all of this.

“No, she never told me. Kensuke did after I acted like an extreme ass and pushed her too far during the photo shoot he promised them,” Asuka smiled thinly. It was just another drop in the barrel at this point. Shinji never wanted to do the shoot, but had agreed to it to help him out. Touji and Kensuke would have never agreed to hang out with him otherwise at the start, so Shinji took another one for him. And for all her effort and selflessness all she got was a big ‘fuck you’ to the face.

No new ‘Asuka’ photos had shown up in her possession of confiscated items, and that left Hikari perplexed. “What happened, Asuka? Why haven’t I seen any of these pictures then? I’ve gotten copies of all the others from students if raided.” Photos of students taken without their permission were against school bylaws, which meant Hikari was sitting on a mountain of Rei and Asuka pictures.

Squeezing Hikari’s hand harder, almost painfully, Asuka grabbed at his face, fingers on both sides of his head. “I basically said ‘there is no way I’d ever consider dating you’ without realizing it. And that was while trying to get her to take her top off.” Stupid hormones made him do something he’d never wanted to, but it was to late now. “And the real bastard of it is…was…I did like her when she was a boy. I just never let myself admit it.”

“What will you do now?” Hikari was almost afraid to know the answer to that. It was written all over his face that something was going to come of this. “Since you’re going to be a boy for the rest of your life, what are you going to do?” Could they overcome the oddity of it and still be a couple? Hikari couldn’t fathom the amount of strength needed to do such a thing. “You can’t just stew on this, you have to do something before it gets worse.”

Standing up and ruffling Hikari’s hair, Asuka didn’t miss the blush it garnered. “I know what I’m going to do. Talking to you made me realize it, and come this time tomorrow everything will be taken care of.” Asuka’s resolve was firm, no longer on the fence of what was best for him and what was best for her. I’ve hurt Shinji so much, its time I do something good.

X-X

Rei didn’t know how to feel, but she did understand uneasiness well. Her talk with Shinji had gone much more differently than she expected. Initially she was going to tell her friend to avoid Asuka from now on and that if companionship was needed she would fill that void. What had happened was, Shinji cried. Rei had expected the cause to be either Asuka’s spurning her or the fact she was to remain female. But the truth was, Shinji cried because she felt terrible about enjoying the fact she was to remain a woman. As the conversation continue, Shinji said something that struck Rei to her core, ‘Friends tell friends everything, so I only feel right telling you I’m glad I’m like this.’

“Friends tell friends everything,” Rei parroted as she approached Gendo’s door. As her hand paused just inches from the intercom, she felt her resolve waiver. He may kill me for this, but I no longer agree with his wishes. Yes the commander gave her life, but to lord that over her was no longer to be tolerated. She had told Shinji the truth about her origin, well as much as she herself knew. Shinji had been shaken by the revelation that Rei was a clone, but to her great relief, Shinji simply hugged her stroked her hair, and said she didn’t care and that they were still friends. “No I tell him, I am no longer his puppet.”

Going over the results of the test, Gendo was mixed on his care. The last vestiges of his ‘parent’ mind said to go talk to his daughter, while the superior side of his mind questioned how it would affect her ability to pilot. And the funny thing was, had the experiment been done in Unit-01 it would have worked. It was the soul inside the units that was the final push for the transformation and Yui wanted a son not a daughter. Hearing the chime at his door, “Go away,” was all he said into the intercom.

Opening the door anyway, Rei walked across the sarcophagus like room towards her fate. She had not told Shinji about the planned Third Impact for one reason, if she died here Gendo would likely have killed Shinji too, to prevent the spread of the truth. “Sir I request a moment of your time,” Rei stood in relaxed military position.

Setting the papers down, feeling strangely that he wanted Maya to die even more than before, Gendo’s eyebrow arched. “What are you doing here, I did not send for you.” And Rei shouldn’t do anything he didn’t wish her to do. If he wanted to girl to bark like a dog she was to ask what breed, if he wanted her to dance she was to ask fast or slow, and she was NOT to interrupt him when he didn’t wish to be interrupted.

Only a momentary pause signified Rei’s self preservation instinct kicking in. It screamed to come up with something other than what she initially came for. It begged to think of how her death would affect Shinji. It pleaded that nothing was worse than what this man would do to her if she went against his wishes. Then Rei saw Shinji’s face, saw it wither and die due to the plans this man had for the world and her tongue was thawed. “I came to report I will no longer take part in the planned scenario for Third Impact.”

Gendo’s head bobbed up and down twice, looking as concerned as a man would be if he had heard the dog took a leek on the carpet. “Then you’ll die, and be replaced. Is there anything else you want to add before I send your worthless body back into the abyss I pulled it from?” It was simply a replacement of tools, Rei held no real place in the man’s heart, not when he could replace it easily.

Her throat was horribly dry and scratchy which made it hard to talk. “I provided file access to Katsuragi and the JSSDF regarding your plans as well as the location of SEELE which I gained from hacking your private files.” Rei had been considering this plan of action ever since she learned about friendship from her books. Friends helped and supported, they didn’t turn each other into LCL and merge consciousness with them. “They should be discovering the truth any moment now.”

Ok, now THAT pissed Gendo off. “You did WHAT?” He’d have to kill this insipid creature himself now, but he couldn’t just kill her, he had to make her suffer! Years of planning and maneuvering ruined by one of his pawns! A pawn he had never questioned before due to the extreme loyalty he instilled in it. “Why would you do that!?” he asked as he proceeded to stalk closer to the doomed child. He’d break her bones, instill such pain that she begged for death, because she essentially killed him if he couldn’t reverse the damage she did.

“I could not betray my friend,” was all Rei said as she saw her death looming ever closer. It could have been done in a myriad of other ways, but Rei knew she had to act fast to stop Gendo and his warped affection for his late wife. If her life had to be made forfeit for Shinji’s continued survival than so be it. “Your plan would have killed not only her but the one she loves, and I could not allow that.”

Lightning fast, Gendo’s gloved fingers wrapped around Rei’s slender neck. “Friends? You don’t have friends! You were my plaything! You were to do what I commanded! And no I command you to die!” Harder and harder his squeezed the child’s neck. Her hands frantically clawed at him to break free, but his grip remained solid. Her eyes, those blasphemous red orbs puffed out and rolled back as her resistance got weaker and weaker. “I’ll recover from this, you did nothing but throw your life away.”

As her vision began to fade, the man she once revered as a god turned into her executioner still loomed larger than life before her, she dropped one hand into her shirt and pulled out the bug she planted on herself. It fell to the ground with almost inaudible plop as it hit, Shinji’s smiling face was the only thing she could think of, and as a tear trickled down her face…

The door exploded open.

Kaji and a squad of his most trusted Nerv employees rushed the room with guns drawn. The spy had no idea why Rei had given him the listening device a full week before today, but he was glad he hadn’t gotten rid of it. Taking great pleasure in it, Kaji freed the young Ayanami by gently applying great force against the side of Gendo’s skull, sure his fist hurt after but it was damn ass worth it. As his men arrested Mr. Ikari for crimes against humanity, Kaji proceeded to carry the coughing and gagging Rei to the infirmary. “Kid you just might have saved the fucking planet,” he said with his roguish smile, and deep down Kaji half suspected Rei saved his life in the process.

X-X

“Huh, that’s odd I just got an email from Ayanami, didn’t know she had a computer,” Misato said offhanded as Ritsuko handed her a cup of coffee. “So what were you saying about Maya?” Misato blew the steam off her cup with bemused enjoyment.

Watching Maya’s temporary replacement, Ritsuko shrugged, “Apparently she had a delayed reaction to the hemp. She called in this morning saying she was going to be out sick for a few days.” Typing a few commands to start a system test on the Magi, Ritsuko felt horrible. “If I knew she’d have gotten that bad I’d not have risked giving it to her.”

Sipping the beverage she could have sworn was made out of lava at the moment, Misato shrugged. “How could you have known? Anyway she needed something to calm her down or we’d never have…she’d never have gotten the idea.” Ouch, sore subject and she brought it up herself. “Kami-sama, I wished it had worked.”

Leaning back in his chair, Shigeru locked eyes with Misato, “We all do. But at least now they won’t have to worry about ‘maybe’ and ‘what if’ scenarios. It’s a solid fact now, and they seem to be handling it well enough.” Not that he’d really now, he hardly saw the pilots, but easing Misato’s mind was just as important. A leader that can’t think straight would take the followers over the cliff with them.

“He’s right, Misato,” Ritsuko had noticed the drop in Misato’s happy meter just like everybody else. “Now they don’t have to think about ‘if I get my body back’ or ‘when this change is reversed’ anymore.” Acceptance was a powerful thing, lack of it was disastrous. Knowing Misato better than most, “And just think of all the teasing you can do now!”

Nursing her coffee, Misato wasn’t in a very qualitative state. “I know, but just the mood around the apartment is so dark lately. Add to it the whole emotional thing and I don’t know whether I need to have a therapy night, get them condoms, or move Asuka out so he doesn’t kill Shinji.” It was maddening to not know what was going on in there heads.

“Wait, condoms?” Shigeru wasn’t the fastest train in the station. “Why would they need those, unless Asuka is taking his pilot status to get himself a lot of tail?” From the rumors he’d heard about Asuka flogging the dolphin with reckless abandon, maybe the boy ranked up from just thinking about it to actually doing it. “Guess a lot of girls his age wouldn’t mind being banged by a savior of the world.”

Misato’s face just dropped, eye eyes bulged open and her mouth hung, “Oh shit I didn’t even THINK about that!” Shinji wasn’t the type to fuck and run, but with how Asuka was treating his little friend, it was more likely to escalate. “I do NOT want to walk into my apartment to find Asuka with some floozy! Let along if he actually knocked one up! Can you imagine that? Asuka a father at fifteen!?”

“For one thing Shigeru, Misato was talking about Asuka needing them for Shinji, not Asuka boffing his classmates,” Ritsuko was trying to limit the collateral damage at this point. Misato was inching into the red zone for temper, and that would be very bad. “And second, if you set Misato off again I will see to it that you get reassigned to sewage removal.” Wondering if maybe it was a good idea to give Misato some weed to calm her down, Ritsuko thought better. “Misato you need to calm down, ok? Asuka is NOT going to start shagging everything and you know that.”

Near frantic, Misato just slung her mug around and sprayed coffee over everything in range of her. “Sure he won’t, just like switching bodies is impossible, just like Shinji not finding me attractive is impossible, why don’t we just have Rei go and kill Commander Ikari to have the whole impossible spectrum covered?” Her body started to convulse as she started to break down. Too much stress and too many oddities happened to fast for her to cope with. “I mean what the fuck am I supposed to do now, Ritsuko? I can’t do anything for them.”

Gently taking the empty coffee mug from Misato’s hand, Ritsuko lead her distraught friend to a chair and forced her to sit. “You do what you can, you be there for them. Asuka will have to start talking to Kaji more about guy things, and you’ll need to be there to instruct Shinji on women things. They don’t know all of it yet, and they’ll need you strong and clear headed. Not some ranting crazy woman.” She smiled despite herself as Misato started to chuckle.

Taking in one raspy breath, Misato held it in then exhaled. “Oh Kami-sama I needed that.” Wrangling herself back in and under normal control, Misato felt substantially better after her little tirade. “Just the idea of Asuka having sex made me think of Shinji having it too…I used to tease her about it so much, hell I even joked that I’d be her first if she wanted practice.” It was a really drunken night and she didn’t mean it, but the look on Shinji’s face had been priceless. “And now I have to realize that for her…it won’t be a simple thing anymore.” Misato could go without care, second impact taking care of her uterus as it did, but Shinji COULD get pregnant and that would fuck shit right up.

Kneeling down and putting her hands on both of Misato’s shoulders, Ritsuko said with a level tone, “Never say anything like that again Misato. The idea of you offering yourself to a teenager is wrong on so many levels that I can’t calculate how much shit you’d get into if Asuka took you up on it.” And Ritsuko had to admit, a drunken Misato was a very pliable Misato. “I wish Maya was here, she’d know what to say.”

At that very moment, a clearly NOT sick Maya was taking a very relaxing bath. Soothing music was playing on her MP3 player and a half eaten pizza lay on the floor next to the tub. Calling in sick was a wonderful idea.

Back at Nerv however, one of the low level security guards was about to make everybody’s day just a little bit stranger. “You’re not going to believe this! The JSSDF just arrested Commander Ikari for crimes against humanity!” Panic ensued.

X-X

When Shinji got home from her talk with Rei the sun had already set. It wasn’t that the talk took that long, she just continued walking around thinking about everything Rei had said. She felt bad, horrible for never finding out the truth about the girl before. Such a sad life, and to think most of it was due to her father’s warped mind. No long did Shinji care what the man thought of her, his admiration and respect was no longer something she cared about. Shinji would support Rei as best she could, she promised to keep Rei’s secrets, but she could prompt Rei to tell others.

Walking into her room, Shinji came to a dead stop when she noticed Asuka lying on her bed. It wasn’t so much that she’d been avoiding Asuka, as much as she’d been giving Asuka space. She accepted the fact that while she loved him, Asuka would never reciprocate it, compounded by the knowledge that she was permanently a girl left her more than wanting private time. Asuka being in her room though meant private time was off the docket. “Asuka?”

“We need to talk, we’ve been ignoring it long enough,” Asuka said without looking at Shinji. Ever since the chat with Hikari, Asuka had been gathering his strength for what he needed to do. After all the pain and heartache he caused, it was time to make amends. I love that idiot. She’s the only person that I can be me around, I owe her this much courtesy. Sitting up, “I got some odd frantic call from Misato about her being late so it’s just you and me tonight. What better time to take care of things.”

Setting her bag down, Shinji sat at her desk and nodded. “What do we really have to talk about? We both know now that the switch is permanent, this is my body now.” She held her hand out just to look at it, that seeing the dainty fingers made her comment more real. “I forgave you for pushing me to much about those pictures, and even though this is my body now I won’t let Touji or Kensuke take anything you’d not like.”

Rolling his legs over the side of the mattress, Asuka sat up. “Kensuke told me, Shinji. And Hikari confirmed it this afternoon.” He couldn’t help but wince at the panicked look that came over Shinji’s entire body. She was shaking like a leaf and eyeing the door. “If you run you’re just prolonging it, Shinji.” His head sank, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

The cat was out of the bag, and now all she could do was mitigate the fallout. “What good would it have done?” Her voice, unlike her appearance, was solid. She often feared Asuka learning of her feelings, and as such had plenty of time to think and plan how she would react to it. “Had I told you when I was a boy you would have either laughed at me, called me a pervert, or both.”

Reaching out for Shinji’s hand, Asuka flinched when she drew it back and away from him. “You’re right, Shinji, I most likely would have.” The time for illusions and lies was gone, they did to much damage. “It took me becoming a guy to realize how broadly incorrect my opinions were.” Leaning back, propping himself up with his arms, “But I have to ask…how could you after everything I’ve done…why do you care for me?”

Her eyes stung, but she wouldn’t cry, not now. Her tears for unrequited love had been shed, and she was determined to be strong. “For the you that you don’t show everybody else.” Living with Asuka gave Shinji a chance to see the real person behind the mask, and she loved that person. “For the weak Asuka, the stubborn and childish Asuka, and for the strong and valiant Asuka is why I love you. You’re so much better than you give yourself credit for, but not for the reasons you care about.” It wasn’t the beauty, or the intelligence, or even the pride that Shinji cared, it was for the parts of Asuka that the boy thought of as cast off parts to himself.

“So even though I treated you like shit, berated you, and spread terrible rumors about you to the girls you still saw though all that and loved me?” Asuka didn’t want to believe it. How could anybody take that abuse and still not HATE the person? Had the tables been reversed, Asuka would have long ago snapped and given up. “After everything I’ve done, you’ve not stopped caring…why?”

Sniffing back hard, the irritation in her eyes growing she croaked out, “Because when I saw you succeed at something it made my heart sore. Seeing you happy made me happy. Seeing you hurt made me hurt, and I couldn’t stop that despite all that you did to me. I can’t turn my heart off like a switch.” Smiling bitterly, “And when you were nice to me I thought I was going to die. When you treated me like something other than a servant I had hope.”

“Stand up Shinji,” Asuka commanded and did the same. Moving in close to the girl, seeing that fear and anxiousness in her eyes, it made what he was going to do all the harder. “I’m going to show you something,” was all he said before he kissed her. It wasn’t a fierce kiss or a soft kiss, it was soul searching. I love her, and it’s because of that I have to do this. Breaking away from the girl, her face a lovely pink hue and her eyes showing none of the disgust he had wished was there. “I don’t love you, Shinji.”

“But…why…you just…why?” Shinji couldn’t fathom it! Asuka had just kissed her! From everything they were talking about it was almost as if Asuka wasn’t going to reject her, not after everything else. She had poured her soul out and Asuka just stole a kiss and said he didn’t love her? Those tears she had so valiantly held back were about to spill over. “Why?”

A moment’s courage and it would be done. “I wanted to know how horrid it would be to kiss my old body.” A total lie. “I wanted to know if it was remotely possible to not be revolted at the idea, and I just can’t. Maybe in time I could have come to love you, but I’d never get over the idea that it was my old body I was touching.” The pain was exquisite, but he had accepted this. Shinji was too good for him, and not just on the outside but inside as well. Asuka was more than turned on by the kiss, but he’d never admit it. Shinji deserved far better than him, especially after all the pain he put her through. Better to rip the band-aid off fast and get the pain over than let it stew and fester. “I want to be friends Shinji, nothing more than friends.”

“G-..get…out…” Shinji managed to sputter out before finally breaking down into a full blown sob. It had been a little odd kissing her old face, but in time she could have gotten over it! To hell what others would think to, didn’t they say love conquered all? But here was Asuka, a person Shinji thought was courage personified, being a coward and running from things. And to think he had the balls to say ‘I want to be friends’ after crushing her heart into a fine powder and scattering it to the four winds.

His body screamed at him to hug the girl, sooth her troubles away in a sea of kisses and petting, but Asuka was stronger than that. It was for Shinji’s betterment that this happen. Asuka wouldn’t let her be hurt again because of his stupidity, or his inability to see things clearly. Against all his desires, Asuka walked out of Shinji’s room and shut the door. Still hearing the muffled sobs of the girl he loved more than anything, he walked out of the apartment and left her to recover on her own.

X-X

The proceeding days were a whirlwind of allegation, scandal, and mayhem. Not only was Gendo Ikari arrested, but so were the majority of Seele that didn’t get into hiding fast enough, and the biggest shock of all was when Fuyutsuki was arrested alongside Gendo as the real mastermind behind the planned destruction of humanity. Rock to its core by not only the ulterior motive behind Nerv but the lose of its leaders, the command staff had a lot of changes to implement.

First order of business was to promote Misato to being the new commander based on past dealings with the angels and superior ability to command her forces. Her second in command was a JSSDF appointed Kaji, that event didn’t go down well. Misato threatening to kill ‘the fucking spy’ before Ritsuko calmed her down enough. Ritsuko had a point, had Kaji not been there Gendo might have succeeded in his plans. After Rei was released from the hospital, Misato convinced the UN to grant the heroin a full pardon for conspiring with the ex-Commander.

Ritsuko escaped being implicated by careful concealment of the facts on Misato’s part, and her willingness to assist in the trial against the other members. Misato was at first shocked and hurt by Ritsuko’s seeming betrayal, but once the doctor admitted to having been in love with him, Misato was a little more lenient as emotions do cloud the mind.

Maya…well Maya continued to smoke heavy amounts of pot while on the clock. Nobody said anything because while stoned Maya was a savant and capable of coding such miraculous things that it more than made up for her illegal activity.

The LCL factory and the tank of Rei clones were a harder issue to react to. While the clones were not technically alive they weren’t dead either. Ritsuko was put in charge of finding a way for them to be classified one or the other. If deemed alive find a way to awaken them and release them, or put them down as painlessly as possible. Lilith was destroyed, Rei was happy to do it.

As for the pilots themselves, things were never quite the same again. It took Shinji three weeks before she would even talk to Asuka, and another four before they got close to being as good of friends the were before Asuka’s firm yet unrelenting denial of his feelings. During that time, Rei and Shinji were inseparable, both seeing to the pain of the other.

Asuka, Asuka was lost in a sea of loneliness of his own making. Much to Misato’s horror, he did take to the sea of girls that flocked around him. Typically he’d date them for one to two weeks, they often slept with each other after the third date, and always at the girls wanting. But sex wasn’t what Asuka wanted, he wanted to flame, the spark that Shinji had put in his heart, but it was never there. It was just a warm body that saw him as a hero and apparently very good lay.

It took Misato’s command of Nerv and Kaji’s spy network however, to keep Asuka out of jail. It was the true start of the rekindled friendship between Asuka and Shinji, and it cost a young Casanova a punctured lung, three broken ribs, and a smashed wrist. It had started easy enough, Hikari set Shinji up on a date with a friend of hers brother. They all went to an amusement park and things got hectic. The groups got separated and Koji lead Shinji away from the group, believing her naïveté to actually be a subtle form of seduction took her to a love motel, it went badly.

Asuka found Shinji crying in the shower that night. Getting the name out of a very confused Hikari, Asuka proceeded to beat the boy until he was almost barely breathing. Shinji never found out what happened to the boy, just that he transferred out soon after. The end result was Shinji, much to Touji’s regret, started dating Rei. They suited each other well, despite obvious limitations.

Watching it all from the sidelines, Hikari could no longer take Asuka’s self abuse. It pained Hikari to see Asuka wading through an ocean of wanting girls, but finding nothing but cheap thrills. Finally one day, Hikari forced Asuka to confess what happened between the Shinji and him. Hikari never looked at Asuka the same way again, and it made her love the boy all the more. Living a life of imposed self hatred rather than risk hurting the one he truly loved…it ate Hikari’s heart.

A full year after the accident, all the angels defeated with only minor damage mentally and physically to the pilots, Hikari asked Asuka out. He accepted. It was hard at first, Hikari could tell Asuka would always love Shinji more than her, but in time she garnered a place in the boys heart that rivaled Shinji’s.

For all the pain and misery in his life, Asuka was happy with Hikari at his side. Shinji became the close friend they used to be, only with Rei being oddly at her side, and made Asuka wonder who was the pitcher and who the catcher was, but he never asked. He made a vow to never let Shinji know that he loved her, he would never risk harming her, and what good would it do him to rattle the Ayanami/Ikari cage. He joked that maybe in time he’d be the surrogate for their child if they got married; only he’d have to administer it directly.

Rei slapped him hard, very hard, but Shinji laughed. It had been a long and strange road to get to where they were, but they all agreed that it could have been worse.

The End

X-X

I can hear it already ‘you rushed the ending!’ And I have to say to you…not really. My real intention was to end with Asuka walking away and give her a brief monologue about how and why he did it.

I HATE milking things longer than they have to be for pointless drama. Everything that happened after that point I believe was fairly standard. I hope you’re not to angry at that, and I’d really be happy if you understood and agreed with me.

Well it was a long odd road to write this thing too…keeping the ‘him’/ ‘her’ correct was a battle I hope I won more than lost. Anyway, thanks for reading this oddity and continue to support me in my other ventures of fandom.

Addendum -

Well the hope that people understood why I ended this as I have seems to be shot. But to be honest I did expect more negative than positive. So I'll be honest...well more honest than before. I ended this story abruptly mainly because I didn't like the direction it was headed in. I started it planning a light humor and lighthearted story. But the deeper I got into it the more dramatic and darker it became. Rather than continue in that vane against what I intended I pulled the plug before it got worse. In the end I'm likely more disappointed with this conclusion than you are, but they can't all be winners. I got some good parts off I feel, more good than bad so I'll chalk this up to a success rather than failure, but I do apologize for the sudden 'the end' that it got.

Really sorry for those of you that wanted the Shinji/Asuka ending, but to be fair it was focused on them, and even though the didn't end up together they were the strongest 'couple' in the story's conclusion. And yeah the majority of this last chapter was just a 'tie up the loose ends so I can move on' because I will not leave a story unfished, even if i don't care for it. Hopefully I didn't piss enough of you off that you don't read my next few ideas, but if I have I only have myself to blame.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie