Gossip Vamp here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of the undead elite. Sorry to all you immortals out there who think that it’s cool to be a recluse, it’s the twenty first century. For all of you who have been around since the dawn of time, wake up and smell the humans! It’s a new age.

It may interest the many of us to know that there are a select few who are in constant limelight. They don’t hide in the dark, and are often seen in human company, holding their breaths and dazzling the mere mortals with their more than amazing smiles.

If you don’t know who I’m referring to then you’ve been living under a rock. I’ll give you a hint; these particular vampires have an unusual diet. No, they don’t have a fetish for a particular race of humans; they constantly fast and rarely ever falter. They sate their thirst on *animal* blood.

Laugh as much as you want, they are the ones to watch. As pretty as their golden eyes are, they don’t so often act so righteously. And a sleepy little town in about to be shaken down. Watch out Forks, the Cullens have arrived.

You know you love me.

XOXO… Gossip Vamp

.:Alice’s POV:.

As my adoptive father Carlisle speedily drove in the direction of the middle of nowhere, I tried not to fidget. If I had the ability to yawn, I would have. Honestly, I’ve never even heard of Forks. I couldn’t believe we were moving to a town where there wasn’t even a mall. There was no prayer of a Louis Vuitton store there. How droll.

My family and I were going to be bored out of our brains. Well, Rosalie not so much. That’s only because she liked when humans fawned over her. She was very vain and often annoying but she was a great sister to have. Emmett, her husband, often pulled her back to earth when she needed it most.

The rest of my family comprised of Esme, Edward and Jasper. Esme was Carlisle’s beautiful and very sweet natured wife. She was the epitome of a perfect mother and I felt very blessed to have her in my life. Edward was my favourite adopted brother, he and I shared similar astounding abilities. Jasper was the love of my life, my entire reason for existence.

Jasper looked over at me and I smiled gently back at my husband of many many years. The only reason I consented to this stupid relocation is because although I love civilisation, the close proximity of humans drives Jasper bonkers. I love him too much to ignore that this town would be good for him.

I pulled out my blackberry and frowned. Would I get wireless in this area? Luckily for me, the browser connected, albeit slowly. Out of boredom, I googled vampires. To my surprise, the third link down was a “Gossip Vamp” link.

“What’s so interesting?” Jasper questioned, noticing the way I had sat upright in my seat.

“I’m reading a gossip site… by an alleged vampire,” I replied in amusement.

“A vampire gossip?” Esme, Carlisle’s wife, called from the front seat. “How interesting.”

“How do we know if it is a genuine vampire?” Carlisle asked, turning around to give me a smile.

Ah, the perks of being a vampire. Lightning fast reflexes as well as super beautiful features. And for the lucky few, super abilities.

“Well we can only assume that this, uh, “Gossip Vamp” is real,” I replied as I quickly skimmed though the page. “She mentions us.”

“She what?” Jasper exclaimed.

Esme turned around in alarm and Carlisle stopped the breaks abruptly. The car behind us also stopped and three passengers exited the vehicle in alarm. I flung open my door and Rosalie quickly slid into the car seat next to me.

‘What’s going on?” she murmured.

“Let me see that Alice,” Edward said as he held out his hand.

Wordlessly, I handed it to him. Although he read through my thoughts, I understood the inclination to see it for himself. It was very strange. Some vampire thought we were ones to watch? I would feel flattered was I not so concerned.

Emmett read over Edwards shoulder and let an explosive laugh.

“ Gossip Vamp?” he chortled.

“She obviously thinks very highly of us,” I said as Rosalie smiled widely and flipped her hair. Sigh. Rosalie, the answer to the epitome of a narcissist barbie doll. Edward smirked as he heard my thought and I mentally high fived him.

“What should we do? Esme asked Carlisle, clearly unsure of what to make of this Gossip Vamp.

Carlisle’s brow furrowed as his mind quickly sifted through many thoughts. I waited patiently for it to hit me. Ah, he decided there was no danger.

“Well, he or she is not doing any harm,” Carlisle replied. “If things are ever dangerous, the Volturi will take care of it.”

I nodded and sat back in my seat. Rosalie, Edward and Emmett returned to the red BMW and we continued on our way, to the unknown.

Hi guys, hopw you likee, lemme know if you think it's as interesting as I do. I think it's pretty hilarious that someone wants to be a "Gossip Vamp"hahaha. Please review, and give my other epic 'Settling for second best" some love. It's pure angsty and dark and very slow in the beginning but it all builds up to good stuff, promise! xox