Author: IngenueFic PM
Everything she's ever done has been because of her mother. Day 4 of Mini NaNoWriMo on LiveJournal.Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Family - Adrianna - Words: 443 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11-04-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4635681
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Rob Thomas, Gabe Sachs, and Jeff Judah own all 90210 characters.
There was once a time when Adrianna felt like she was on top of the world. Dreams of spotlights and cameras and stylists filled her head and her mom fed into them, telling her how famous she would be one day. There was a time when her mother doted on her, brushed her hair, smoothed make-up on her face, all with tender hands that spoke volumes of pride and love.
All that has changed now.
Where Adrianna once saw a mother who cared is a woman who has fallen under pressure, cracked under the strain of real life. Instead of hearing, "I'm so proud of you," she hears "This job will help us so much," and it grabs hold of her heart and squeezes until she can't breathe anymore.
She remembers the first time she and Naomi first tipped the white powder onto the table in a pool house. They giggled and used a rolled-up piece of paper and when she sniffed a line, electricity jolted through her. There was nothing left to think of in those few blissful moments.
Naomi left it as an experiment. She didn't do it again and when Adrianna finally questioned her about where she even bought the drugs, she laughed. She shook her head and with a wave of her hand, gave Adrianna an "It was just for fun. It's not real." Adrianna had never been more serious in her entire life. She followed instructions, found different people and different circuits until she handed over money in exchange for the clear plastic bag that became her salvation.
Now, she knows it's killing her; every line made is another screw-up. She misses auditions, doesn't show up to rehearsals. They call her out on it – her friends, her teachers, but she can't bring herself to care. Her mother blames it on the other adults, says they don't know anything about the pressure they're putting on her, but Adrianna knows better.
Every tip of the hollow lipstick tube that spills powder onto the nearest flat surface is because of her mother. When she leans down over the perfect white line, she thinks of the pressure her mother puts on her. By the time the drugs find their place in her bloodstream, she can only think of one thing.
Adrianna knows that no matter how many roles she misses, or how many times other people try to laugh at her, she will never be as screwed up as her mother.
Thank you to Sara for the beta work.