Lights from the castle hallways pierced through torrents of water. Puddles had seeped into Cheri's flowerbeds and filled the cracks of cobblestones in the roads. Yuuri had been soaking wet an hour ago, but now the tan uniform above his head managed to keep some percent of the rain from getting him sick. A constant drip was cascading onto his nose and the back of his neck, but his moppy hair clung to his face, managing to remain merely damp.

Conrad watched the boy's eyes dart back and forth as he struggled to jog near enough to keep himself dry, the rain in his eyes and down his shirt, clinging to lashes and cheeks. It definitely wasn't humid either; the chill bit at them, and had Conrad the choice, he would have been near some sort of fire, inside, and beside Yuuri on friendlier terms- a fresh towel in hand, the boy's favorite hot drink in the other.

They turned a corner in complete silence. The rain was loud enough to keep it from being awkward, but Conrad still wondered if Yuuri's preference of no conversation was a sure sign of failure.

The open hall that led to the main quarters was but a few yards away. Whatever there was in store for him, he wasn't sure he could accept it. The rain was making it easier for his mind to clear up, to see what he'd done- again- through sober eyes.

Yuuri was half running, half sprinting as he made the last stretch to the enclosed area. He dove out from under Conrad's jacket to the stubborn eaves that usually shielded him from the sun. The floor was wet, glistening from the lanterns in the hall and the lights of the maids' windows.

Conrad stood for a moment, in the middle of the unrelenting downpour, holding his jacket and watching Yuuri's dark silhouette against the backdrop of the lights dancing on the walls. He could visualize the necklace hanging by his hollow neck, swaying with the rhythmical breathing Yuuri lived with.

Yuuri breathed on cue, and a bit of heat gathered in clouds about his mouth, his back facing the soldier. Had he known that Conrad was still standing there in the rain, he would have lived up to his personality. He would have immediately fretted, grabbed his shirt, begging come in. Begging that you stay for awhile.

Conrad grimaced a bit and tried nonchalantly swinging his jacket over his shoulder, the wet trails stinging his arms and fingers. He was as awkward as he looked, standing there as if the sun was shining right on his face before a morning jog. He felt unwelcome, waiting for Yuuri to acknowledge his presence, teetering between knocking on his door or letting himself suffer on the outside.

Yuuri glanced at him and looked away, barely noticeable, rubbing water away from the paths of his skin.

“You're a hypocrite. You'll get sick, too.”

Conrad had heard worse from the boy that night and walked under the eaves to join him without wincing.

It was silent for another moment as Yuuri stood there, and Conrad knew he was thinking to himself. From his vantage point he admired the slow nape of his neck, readjusted his weight to his left leg, and loosened his hold on his thoroughly soaked coat. Look at the mess I've made.

Yuuri didn't move to face him, but his head lifted a little, and Conrad waited for him to speak.

His voice was timid and slipped through pauses in the rain only slightly; barely loud enough for Conrad to hear.

“How long has this been going on?”

Now that was a hard question. Something told him that Yuuri wasn't going to deal with anymore of his avoiding attempts either, so he decided to respond without the loyal bull along with it.

Let's make this clear.

“How long have I loved you, or long have I known I've loved you?”

Yuuri didn't say anything and Conrad fancied his eyes were wide, looking to the left, wanting to turn around- not wanting to give in; that delicious look of uncertainty that Yuuri only allowed chosen others to see nowadays.

His shoulders moved with normal breathing, exertion from the dash to the protection of the castle, but he didn't turn to face the man behind him.

“You didn't tell me that the other night.”

“That's because I'm a coward.”

Yuuri scoffed and turned a bit to the right, seemingly disgusted with the answer- probably sick of the modesty- and shook his head.

“We both are... very, very stupid.”

In his tone there was a hint of the nineteen year old Yuuri had become, and behind it there was a sweet smell of what Yuuri was letting go of. Conrad could not have denied that statement had he even tried. Yes, he was probably stupid. He was losing his mind for giving into things he promised to never indulge in. He was a fool for allowing himself to even continue this. He was so tired. Tired, tired, tired and stupid.

Yuuri was simply naive as to let himself fall into such a trap with a man that would never let him go after this.

“I'm not sure you realize what happened when you told me you never had... that you didn't-”

Yuuri cut off his sentence. He shivered, and Conrad moved to wrap his jacket around him, then remembered the freezing water running through it.

“It was a difficult question for you to ask of me at the time.”

Stupid answer.

“Difficult? Do you know how difficult it was to ask?”

Stupid, stupid answer.

“I don't know what happened after that Yuuri, but please, I'm trying to understand.”

Conrad felt his skin tighten, surprised at the truth in his words. He loved him. God, he loved him. But they had fallen from each other ever since that night he discovered he wanted him- he had been afraid. And it had been a horrible excuse to walk away from him. He could not say anything now because he did not know what Yuuri could possibly be thinking. The frustration racked through his spine and his eyes stung, and he was scared to death of losing the precious love standing in front of him. He did not touch him; would not touch him. If he moved he feared Yuuri would shatter and disappear.

Yuuri moved and Conrad's heart jumped, almost thinking his fear of the boy crumbling away would be real. But his limbs were as tangible as they had ever been, and his eyes a little sad, but alive.

“You told me you didn't love me. And you left. And I couldn't even cry I was so surprised.”

He fully turned around and pleaded with Conrad for acknowledgment. The man was looking away, brows stitched in pain, nervously grabbing his dripping coat thrown over his burdened shoulders.

“And Gwendal came at me with so many papers, I just signed and signed, because all I could think of was that I had been wrong all along, Josak had been wrong, and even Murata...I probably looked so stupid to them! Asking them what I should say to you. Running around looking like my mother cleaning things because I didn't want to think about baseball. I didn't want to run into you... I hated even being alone to think! What was I even going to do after that? I couldn't love anyone else, and I'll admit it! I- God dammit, all I'm good at is rambling!”

Conrad shook his head and loved the words falling from Yuuri's lips.

“Yuuri, being with me would never lead to anything good. You couldn't be persuaded then.”

“But then.”

Conrad stopped immediately at the forewarning in Yuuri's tone. His run-on sentences had come to a quick stop and veered in the other direction. Eyes peered and sucked Conrad in quickly. He was stepping closer, looking up at the eyes that had rejected him days before, searching for the invisible clue that would tell him what to say to get Conrad to give up.

“But then you kissed me back in that hallway. And I felt what it would have been like, and I'm sure... I'm sure that you did, too.”

He had no clue how right he was, and it didn't matter that Yuuri had kissed him the very first time- his memory was sharp when recalling those sorts of things- but this time he had no intention of denying it.

“Yes, I did kiss you.”

Yuuri looked like he was about to say something, but stopped in surprise. For a split second Conrad's stomach burst in guilt, but he bit his tongue and refused to screw with Yuuri's emotions any longer. Yuuri raised an eyebrow, confused, relieved-

“Yes... yes you did.”

He obviously hadn't created a backup plan if Conrad caved and just went along with what he wanted him to say, what he needed him to say. He hovered for a moment, and Conrad openly gazed, amazed at how easy all of this was coming to him.

“You did kiss me, even when you told me you wouldn't be with me. And even now... now you ask me if I mean when you loved me, or how long you knew you loved me, when you never answered me in the first place-”

Yuuri was blushing. It tinged his cheeks as he looked down, eyes a little wide, completely addicting. He was falling into realization.

“And suddenly Gwendal was there and telling me 'Pick, pick, pick!' and I thought Beverly sounded like a girl who might- well, wow, I don't want to tell you this- who might let me keep... let me keep someone- do you know what I'm saying? But then I thought Dear God how could I ever think that! Was I actually thinking of him like... like-”

He sighed in frustration.

“I've tried so hard to seem silent about this. To... convince you, that I was old enough. And now look at me. I bet I still look fifteen.”

Conrad wryly smiled like he hadn't in awhile, bittersweet memories of completely innocent touches in the foreground, and Yuuri's eyes barely managed to light up, and the whole strange cloud around them seemed to choke the air that filled their lungs. Conrad felt okay with it for once in his life, took a breath, and began to take chances for both of their sakes.

“Your age never really stopped me, Yuuri.”

It was a dangerous thing to say. It was the right thing to say.

“It was nineteen years ago that I loved you, it was three years ago when I fell in love with you- but God knows it might have been even longer, and it was only a year ago that I knew. And I still think I shouldn't be telling you these things.”

Yuuri's eyes flickered, yet his cheeks wouldn't fold into a smile- but there was something there, and Conrad prided himself to see it. It was an expectant look of awe and adoration- of dependence- a smooth, silent gaze that finally matched Conrad's- then the clock in the kitchen said it was eight thirty two, and Yuuri finally thought to himself that Conrad had been lying all along.

Yuuri stopped for a moment. That ever-readable face folded to frustration, and he threw a hand over his eyes, moaning in displeasure.

“What am I supposed to do now? Do you even realize that my wedding is in less than fifteen hours? I can't even imagine what I signed! I could have given my soul away for all I know!”

Conrad grunted.

“Well I know it wasn't that, Yuuri.”

I've safely guarded that, I'm sure of it.

“I could have promised Gwendal all of my children if I canceled the marriage!”

Yuuri was now rubbing his eyes with both hands, whining and youthfully captivating in his sleek, framing nineteen year old body.

“You wait till now. Conrad, if this is whiskey and I'm just going to have my heart taken from me again-”

“It's not. I'm positive.”

And he was. The rain had an odd cleansing effect on him, and he still slightly felt the dull throb of alcohol in his eyelids, but he could feel the magnetic pull from Yuuri override his senses even more.

“And don't worry about wedding Ms. Beverly. I will still be here.”

It was a complete commitment that couldn't be based off anything except love. It was an offering that would give Yuuri everything he could and want nothing in return. A sacrifice. Conrad was good at those.

Yuuri had already admitted his feelings towards the soldier, and frankly, he didn't want to take anything else from him. Children. He couldn't give him everything. He had accepted it the day he knew that his place would never rise to be at the King's side formally. He would always be a bit to the background, towards the left hand, quiet, giving. The truth was that he hadn't even a qualm about it.

Yuuri stared between his fingers, grimacing.

“Conrad, do you actually think I'd... that I'd even expect that of you?”

“Expect what, Yuuri?”

“Just to... sleep with me?”

Conrad's mind flared at the thought, but he simply refused to let it reign over. He quickly kept it down with a thousand locks and keys, and ignored the lush coloring of Yuuri's cheeks.

The poor boy let out a little sound that probably meant, “Well, that came out badly,” or “Please run me through with your sword, Conrad,” but it couldn't have been any worse than Conrad's struggle to drop the images running with him. How do you not sound eager for that sort of thing, but still sound willing?

“Yuuri, if that's what you wish, I'd happily-”

“No! Obviously not!”

Conrad paused, drastically reevaluating the whole conversation. Yuuri was confused for a moment, then the words he'd said registered with him.

“Wait! Hnn, this is horrible- I'm not saying I wouldn't want you to- God. Conrad, please don't make me say this.”

He didn't want to make him, but his words had him pleasantly hooked.

“I don't understand.” Josak always told him he was a great liar.

“Conrad!” Yuuri groaned and threw himself over, covering his face, leaning on his knees. He mumbled something, asked if Conrad had heard him- which he really hadn't- and lifted back up to face him.

“I told you before that... I was aware. Of what lust was. You know? I mean, I thought my hints might have gotten across but I guess not. Why am I saying this?”

Conrad was trying so hard not to smile. For once in the entire life he had lived, he felt wanted.

“Yuuri-”

“No. Wait.”

The boy prepared himself.

“I'm saying that I'm old enough to discern the two, and I... I feel both... for you, that is.”

Yuuri had tried to tell him before, but in this manner- face to face- openly, with a sort of silent decision to love each other behind the lines, was too much. He didn't want to repeat another barn incident, so he distracted his king.

“Yuuri, if that's true, you can rest knowing that I have no objections to being-”

“Jeese, Conrad! Are you even listening? I'm telling you I don't want you just for- just for the second part! What have you been thinking all this time? Why haven't you come to me?”

Conrad faltered a bit, watching Yuuri lift with the shaky breaths of a confession. He was looking up at him desperately, still wet and cold.

He had thought in the past few months that Yuuri had been through stages. There was concern, perhaps- he probably didn't want to be married off to someone he didn't know. There was a comfort level between them that would have stayed the same had they both engaged in a platonic marriage. Then there was plain curiosity- and Conrad, being the oldest, closest male to him- was the obvious candidate. Lastly, and probably the most coveted on Conrad's part, was downright lust. His thoughts tried to justify the boy's obvious advances as ones of intrigue and release- and with him right in front of him explaining the opposite-

How was he supposed to say no to this?

Yuuri was still staring at him, closer than before, waiting for his reply.

“Just tell me why you never said anything. And don't try blaming it on Wolfram. You're a lot more competitive than you look, you know.”

Conrad already had difficulty processing those few sentences.

“I... I never wanted to impose on you.”

“Try again.”

Conrad was a bit surprised at the sudden demands contrasting with Yuuri's sweet, understanding eyes. They almost forced him to respond truthfully. He sighed.

“I couldn't understand why you would choose me, Yuuri. I saw you and heard you paying certain attention to me, but... I just couldn't make sense of it. For so long I've kept myself from... certain indulgences. It was second nature to deny you. I've made up excuses as to why you might desire me on those occasions. I thought you were only curious, in all honesty.”

Yuuri's mouth opened a little bit, half surprised with the straight forwardness, half with the forlorn look tracing Conrad's eyes.

“You're telling me the truth.”

Conrad didn't have to nod or approve in order for Yuuri to know he was right.

“This whole time... we've both been suffering, and neither of us could do anything. I was hurting you, wasn't I, trying to get you to... well, crack, I suppose.”

“True, Yuuri- I'll no longer lie to you, but at this point in time, I don't think I'd go back and change anything.”

Yuuri smiled a little. “Then the wedding.” He shook his head, as if that terminated it at all. But there was an under layer of emotion that created tears at the corner of his eyes at the statement of tomorrow's event.

Conrad bit back the bile in his throat. There was no getting around the marriage in his point of view. If Yuuri was right, and had signed something- then even as King he had a public check and balance system that wouldn't approve. It wouldn't matter if it was a last minute decision. It wouldn't even matter if they had Gwendal's blessing. Yuuri was king, but Conrad was publicly aware of the reputation dinges that would hinder Yuuri had he not only married a subordinate, but had left two completely bred, royal and proper candidates behind.

Why would I even ask anything else, when he's miraculously given me this?

“Yuuri, I think it wise not to ask anymore from where we both come from.”

To his surprise, Yuuri grimaced and stood down, finally reaching a hand out to touch the sleeve of his confusing partner.

“At that meeting, Conrad, I was told some things that made sense. And when the court talks, I try so hard to listen- so hard to please them. And then... I thought you had left me. I thought that, with your resolve, I could never be near you. So... the choices I made that day, aren't the best I've made while being king. Please, don't be sickened with me...”

Conrad's stomach dropped, fearing the worst. What had they told him? Threats?

If it was as bad as he thought it was, or even nearly as bad, he swore he'd pick Yuuri up right there and be gone with everyone else. He had the permission now. He had Yuuri's approval...

He had Yuuri's approval.

It hit him with a blossoming effect, and the knot of his need for the past years unfurled; he saw Yuuri's worried face and felt the extra compassion that comes to someone who has the right to protect and touch the skin of their loved one.

“Tell me, Yuuri. I don't know if I can, but I will try hard to make these lost years up to you.”

Yuuri smiled a bit and sniffed as Conrad hesitantly touched the hand that gripped his sleeve.

“Conrad, I don't know what to do... they've-”

“Your Majesty?”

Yuuri swerved around and broke away from Conrad's touch, so frightened that he almost slipped on the pavement had he not been holding onto Conrad's arm.

When Yuuri moved the soldier could see his older brother standing there with a lantern, peering at the two of them with squinted eyes and ever creasing wrinkles. His uniform was untouched by the rain.

“Gwendal...”

Yuuri let go of Conrad's arm, and his slender fingers fell to his side. Conrad knew throughout the years that Yuuri was no longer intimidated by his older brother- but there were times like these, times he knew when Gwendal had obviously given Yuuri something to worry about.

“Sorry, I've just been speaking with Conrad. We were almost done. Did we wake you?”

Conrad caught the strange look his brother sent his way, trying to register it. It wasn't reprimanding, nor admiring; it was stuck somewhere in between the glances Gwendal had given him when they were young, when the full demon had been suspicious of the actions of his younger brother.

Gwendal scoffed.

“Wake me? Hardly. I just came to find Conrad,” a pause. “I thought he might be out here.”

Yuuri wasn't the only one to catch the strangeness in Gwendal's appearance. The man's neatly kept hair was a bit pulled from the plait he normally sported, and he was sighing in impatience as he scrutinized the two.

Conrad, if anything, didn't feel the urge to leave Yuuri's side at the moment, regardless of Gwendal's silent provoking. The bright feeling of satiety warmed his nerves and stomach, and just looking at the boy now was more than enough to keep him satisfied. There was a different tugging between them; now that they had spoken of their secrets, regardless of how it would play out in the morning. Conrad knew, at this point, that looking back would be foolish- he would be able to greedily be with Yuuri, and if it meant being branded with the title lower than that of marriage, then there was no reason he couldn't have the best of both worlds. Gwendal would not have to worry about his younger brother spoiling Yuuri's wedding.

“I was just bringing His Majesty to bed, Gwendal. I'll be right with you.”

Yuuri threw Conrad a look, a pleading shake of the head that wasn't noticeable to the other man across from them, but Conrad only smiled forgivingly in return. The first step in this strange, new classified relationship would be finding allies to survive- Gwendal was quite a catch in the matter. Conrad didn't know if Yuuri thought of it as a quiet affair, but by the conditions... There was no way Conrad could set this up in the open and succeed, and he was not a gambling man- not when he had a prize he had been dying for all this time.

He touched Yuuri's shoulder, still balancing his coat in his other hand, and began to walk them both down the hallway, towards Gwendal.

“I'll meet you in your office, brother.”

Gwendal turned with them, the light from his lantern bouncing off their backs, making the all too personal touch Conrad was gracing Yuuri's lower back with much too obvious. Yuuri glanced up at Conrad's face quickly, looked behind him towards Gwendal's troubled face, and turned into the castle with his soldier at his side.

Thanks for staying with me through this everyone! It's coming close to an end, finally! I know a lot of you are just going insane with the crazy wait I've put you through. Sorry, sorry, I'm trying to atleast make it an enjoyable ride! :)

This chapter sort of came easily, and I was worried that maybe I had made Conrad's feelings sort of... hm, advance? rather quickly, but I figured- you know, when you love someone, and you finally come to say it to them; it's just a natural reaction that sets all these things into chain events, and so I reread it a hundred times, and said- You know what! I think it's good!

Sorry if you disagree, ha! :) I will attempt to make it up to you if you do!

Thanks to all my GLORIOUS reviewers! I would have stopped a long time ago if it wasn't for you guys! Thanks to aida135, Rodick, Dolasiar, ., , Shippygirl, Miss Plague, Sea Queen, Freaking Cage, Raven Cactuar, PheonixShadow, sweetsally, deee, Tazzles, Katie, pyrrhicvictoly, and amy!

Really guys, submitting those reviews really gets me motivated, makes me smile and just downright makes my day! I love to know that you guys want more updates! If you guys would like to talk to me as well, you can always send me messages via email of , so go for it! I love to hear from you guys, it's like we're already best friends!

Oh, and remember the second time I updated, and I was freaking out about having over 300 hits?

Guess what.

7,077 HITS! That's amazing! I can't believe it's come to that! It's all because of you guys! Thank you so, so much! You're the power and drive behind this story!