The Day I Fear

Summary: “Halting in his actions, he considered the chances that Sasuke would return home in time for dinner, let alone realise that Naruto had made him dinner…” As lovers, Naruto is more than aware of Sasuke’s feelings and moods, so when Sasuke begins to change and distance himself, what reason does Naruto have to not suspect that Sasuke has someone else in his life?

Disclaimer: Naruto and Sasuke belong to Kishimoto Masashi and the story plot belongs to me, respectfully.

Warning: Minor coarse language

Note: This’ll be released in two parts.

Part 1 – Looming Shadows

The house was silent save the constant ticking of the clock above the kitchen door. The only lights on were the kitchen’s and hallway’s, the rest of the house was shrouded in complete black. The moon didn’t shine tonight.

The stove had cooled and the pots were scrubbed clean. All that was left was for someone to eat what Naruto had prepared. Someone who Naruto knew would probably not walk in the door for another twenty minutes, if not later. And yet, he waited, wanting desperately to know he’d get to see that face he loved so much.

And despite his anxiousness to see his boyfriend soon, he rested his heavy head upon the round table and had his eyes shut softly. He was exhausted from work and drained further when he’d stressed over the preparation of the food. He’d become a considerably good cook, no longer surviving over the instant cup noodles and actually getting some vegetables into his system. Every since his childhood friend and now boyfriend moved in with him, he’d noticeably changed his behaviours for the better. His mother had never had complete control over Naruto and his unmannerly ways.

Now, with the onset of living with another human, and far from his mother and hometown, Naruto had begun to feel conscious of his actions, and depended heavily on the company of his lover. As it were, all throughout the week, when his boyfriend came home late, and when he ignored the food Naruto slaved over to perfect, and when he retired to the bedroom without a kiss or words of affection, Naruto felt unbearably alone.

Naruto jolted in his seat when he heard keys jingle at the front door. He raised his head, looking through the kitchen door directly down the hallway. The front door opened slowly with a creak and a tried looking Sasuke walked through. He struggled to take his shoes off and dumped his suitcase on the small table.

Naruto’s heart skipped a beat when Sasuke’s eyes met his finally. There was a pause of acknowledgement and a heavy nod.

“Welcome back.” Naruto called loudly, hoping Sasuke would hear him even though there were no other sounds in the apartment.

I’m home. Thank you. How was your day? Did you really cook me dinner? Sasuke said none of these, as much as Naruto wished he would. Instead, Sasuke disappeared into the bedroom door and Naruto heard the muffled sounds of the shower.

Dejectedly, Naruto rose from his seat at the kitchen table and picked up the plate full of food. Once again, for the fourth night that week, Sasuke had not eaten dinner at home. Naruto knew there was no use wrapping the food in gladwrap; Sasuke didn’t eat breakfast at home either. So Naruto tipped the plate and watched blankly as the food slid into the bin. The chicken, the vegetables, and the tomatoes Sasuke loved so much. Wasted.

Rinsing the dish in the sink and scrubbing it clean, he added it into the rack of almost dry plates and pots and dried his hands. Leaving the kitchen, he switched the light off and made his way into his bedroom, where Sasuke was towelling his hair and brushing his teeth at the same time. Naruto could see the sleepy shadows under Sasuke’s eyes, and he wondered if Sasuke would notice the ones under his as well.

“How was your day?” Naruto asked as he walked over to his side of the bed and pulled up the blanket.

“Long.” Sasuke replied with his mouth full of toothpaste. He went into the adjoined bathroom and spat a couple of times before rinsing his mouth clean. Already, his wet hair was sticking up at the back and he grunted in frustration when he proceeded to remove his eye contacts. He never preferred glasses, women would always comment on how sexy he was, irritating him.

Naruto watched his boyfriend’s back as it flexed. The toned muscles and pale complexion creating pleasurable heat to coil in his chest. Naruto moved his hand over his stomach and rubbed at his navel absentmindedly as his eyes followed Sasuke’s every move.

Sasuke flipped the light switch, enveloping the house in complete darkness and came to his side of the bed. Naruto rose to one elbow and pulled the blankets back for him. Sasuke mumbled a sleepy “thank you” and curled up into the bed. Sighing blissfully, he shut his eyes and tucked a hand under his head.

Naruto watched him relax and couldn’t help the smile form on his face. Naruto loved Sasuke. He’d told him many times, but he wasn’t sure either of them knew the extent of his love. He loved to just watch Sasuke sometimes. The mysterious man possessed so many facial expressions, and Naruto had memorised each one and how they portrayed what Sasuke was feeling. He could recognise when Sasuke was very happy and when he was extremely mad. He could even make out when Sasuke didn’t want anyone to know how he was feeling, leaving his face blank and uncaring. He hated it when Sasuke showed him that face.

Reaching up, Naruto lightly ran his warmed fingers over Sasuke’s exposed shoulder and smiled again when there was a soft sigh of appreciation. Naruto moved his fingers lower, pushing the blanket down as well. Sasuke’s eyes shot open and he directed his suspicious glare towards Naruto.

“What are you thinking, Dobe?” he asked in a whisper.

Naruto replied by leaning forward and kissing Sasuke just below his eye. He kissed his lips when Sasuke tilted his head up freely and with his fingers, traced shapes into Sasuke’s biceps. There was a moan however, and Naruto could detect the displeasure in it.

“I’m tired, Naruto.” Sasuke stated and stopped kissing him. Naruto pulled away but kept his fingers on Sasuke’s arm. He stared down into the darkness and strained his vision to make out the outline of his lover’s face. He couldn’t see too well.

“What did you eat for dinner?” He asked softly, wondering if Sasuke was already asleep.

Sasuke hummed and snuggled deeper into the palm of his hand. “Just some take out with some colleagues. Did you make your dinner?” he asked.

Yes. I even made yours. I made you your favourite meal. I have been for the past four days. Yet I always seem to have to feed it to the bin. Naruto thought bitterly. He chose to lie instead. “No, I ate out.” He continued to rub at Sasuke’s shoulder. “Why don’t we eat at home tomorrow? I can make you your favourite dish.” Naruto suggested, his voice sounding hopeful.

Sasuke groaned guiltily. “I don’t know if I’ll make it home in time. Work’s getting more demanding.” Sasuke shrugged Naruto’s fingers off his skin, making Naruto stop and the desire that was building to abruptly die in the pit of his stomach.

With those as their last words, Sasuke fell soundly asleep. Naruto lay back onto his side of the bed and could not seem to shut his eyes to sleep. He wondered if he didn’t sleep, would Sasuke notice the shadows under his eyes then.

Naruto unlocked the front door and manoeuvred in the door way so the shopping bags wouldn’t get shut outside when his hip slammed the door. He carried the heavy bags straight into the kitchen and sighed relieved when the weight was released from his shoulders. Removing the groceries from the bags, he arranged them on the counter so he’d be prepared to cook.

Halting in his actions, he considered the chances that Sasuke would return home in time for dinner, let alone realise that Naruto had made him dinner. Glancing at the fresh tomatoes and expensive meat, he unwillingly placed all the items into the fridge for a day that Sasuke would be home to eat the food. No use wasting money or time. He only hoped he wouldn’t need to throw away rotten and stale foods if Sasuke were never to have a free day to eat lunch or dinner with him.

Naruto sat down in his kitchen chair which faced the front door and stared at the floral patterns his mother had insisted be the table cloth design. Her reaction to Sasuke’s permanent residence in Naruto’s home had shocked her and caused suspicion to arise. Even though she knew the two men had been friends since birth as their parents were good friends, Naruto’s and Sasuke’s sudden closeness didn’t seem normal to her.

However, Naruto was thankful his mother wasn’t ignorant or hostile to homosexuality, and found he felt comfortable to confide in her about his relationship with Sasuke. She’d been surprised at first, and then proceeded to tease Naruto playfully. She was very supportive and enthusiastic, reminding Naruto why he loved her so much.

It was so simple with Sasuke however as he had threatened to skin Naruto alive if he revealed anything to his parents. Naruto knew of his godparent’s strictness and had not gone against Sasuke’s wishes. So neither of the Uchiha parents nor Sasuke’s older brother knew Naruto was in love with their son/sibling.

Naruto looked up curiously at the sound of the phone ringing in the living room and hastily walked into the next room. He frowned softly at the private number on the caller ID and answered it nonetheless.

“Hello?” Naruto said. He frowned at his feet when he could hear soft breathing.

“Hello, I was just wondering if Sasuke was home yet.” It was a female, making Naruto’s eyebrow screw together.

“No, sorry, would you like to leave a message?” he said, not intending to write anything down unless it had something to do with work. He knew it was childish, and jealous was not something he’d ever needed to feel, but the thought of another woman calling to stalk Sasuke irritated him.

There was no respond for a while. “Um, are you his roommate?”

Naruto narrowed his eyes. Had Sasuke been referring to him as just a roommate? “Sasuke and I live together.” He replied angrily, putting emphasise on the last word.

Again, there was a pause on the other line. “When is Sasuke coming home?” the voice asked impatiently.

Naruto gritted his teeth. “Who is this?” he demanded. Instead of her voice, he was met with the dial tone. The woman had hung up. “Shit!” Naruto hissed and returned the phone into the cradle forcefully. He ran his sweaty fingers through his hair and flopped down onto the couch.

Sighing heavily, he wondered why he was getting so worked up over a woman looking for Sasuke. Was Sasuke ashamed of telling people he was involved with another man? Naruto knew Sasuke’s parents were to never know, and he knew it was a fact that he’d have to live with in order to remain with Sasuke, but was it really necessary to keep it other people? From women who were clearly after him? Naruto let out a noise close to a cry and threw his fist down onto the arm rest.

He wasn’t emotionally ready when the sound of the front door opening and Sasuke taking his shoes off filled his ears. He tried desperately to reign over his emotions and breathed several deep and calming breaths.

“Naruto?” Sasuke called out. Naruto frowned, confused. He couldn’t remember the last time Sasuke called out his name when returning. And why was he home early? Naruto’s heart sped up involuntarily.

“Y-Yeah?” He hit himself mentally when his voice croaked with emotion. Sasuke came into the doorway and a small smile spread over his features. The fact that he wasn’t frowning told Naruto that he’d successfully hid the emotions on his face and remained unnoticed by Sasuke.

“Hey, I managed to get off work early.” Sasuke’s smile widened and he stripped his jacket to drape it over the couch beside Naruto. He slumped heavily beside his boyfriend and sighed blissfully, shutting his eyes and resting his palms on either side of his legs.

Naruto looked at Sasuke and immediately remembered the phone call. He wondered whether he should mention it or not. Would he sound jealous if he did? Or would Sasuke think he was jealous if he didn’t mention it and found out about it? Naruto stood on a double-edged sword and risked looking jealous either way. He chose to stay silent for now.

There was a smile on Sasuke’s face. “Why are you so quiet, Dobe?” Sasuke asked, his eyes remaining shut. At least he couldn’t see the frown contorting Naruto’s face. “You said you’d cook me dinner. What’s on the menu?”

Naruto looked away from his boyfriend’s peaceful face. “There’s meat and salad,” he muttered and added after a thought, “I bought cherry tomatoes, too.” He turned back to Sasuke who was looking at him. He was surprised when there was a look of relaxed wonder in Sasuke’s eyes and fear gripped at Naruto’s heart. Was he caught with distrust in his blue eyes?

“I feel like I haven’t talked to you in a while.” Sasuke admitted. He moved his palm over Naruto’s knee and squeezed gently.

Naruto breathed in deeply and exhaled loudly, releasing whatever stress, tension and insecurity he’d felt for a week. He suddenly felt so light. He shut his eyes and leaned his head onto Sasuke’s shoulder. The other man rested his own cheek in the blonde locks and nuzzled him, entwining their fingers and squeezing tight. Naruto felt stupid now for worrying about Sasuke’s feelings. He knew the other man wouldn’t leave him; that wasn’t like him at all, Sasuke really did love Naruto.

“I’ve missed you.” Naruto said and rubbed his thumb over the back of Sasuke’s hand. He thought he heard Sasuke mumble a “missed you” into his hair, but he couldn’t be sure. Nevertheless, he knew the feeling was mutual.

They remained still and close for what seemed like minutes until Sasuke’s stomach growled and they both chuckled. They grudgingly stood and made their way towards the kitchen, sharing a chaste kiss on the way and a playful grope of the ass. They helped each other set up the ingredients and Sasuke began to wash the lettuce. Naruto caught him popping a cherry tomato into his mouth and he couldn’t help scold him for his impatience.

The atmosphere was normal, Naruto noted, as if he hadn’t needed a reason to stress the whole week. He smiled warmly when Sasuke came up behind him and laid an open mouth kiss on his neck, wrapping his arms around his hips. Sasuke hummed as he swayed their hips side to side. Naruto couldn’t get rid of his smile as he moved with his best friend and lover.

He knew the phone call from early was nothing he needed to worry about. “Hey, Sasuke, this woman called before.” He frowned when he felt Sasuke stop swaying and tensed. Naruto’s heart began to beat a little faster. “She never gave me her name and hung up on me when I asked for it.”

They remained silent for a while. Naruto felt Sasuke rest his forehead in the spot between his shoulder blades and loosen his grip on around him.

“Sasuke?” He asked worriedly. Why wasn’t Sasuke saying anything? Why wasn’t he saying that he knew nothing about this person? Why was he now letting go of Naruto and stepping away? “Sasuke?” Naruto repeated more forcefully. He turned around to see Sasuke occupying himself by setting up the table, clearly ignoring Naruto. The blonde slumped against the kitchen counter, feeling emotionally defeated.

“Who was she?” He asked bluntly.

Sasuke lowered the plate onto the table slowly, and after a second, hung his head and released a sigh. “Sorry. I told her not to call me at home.” He turned around slowly and guiltily looked Naruto in the eyes. “She began working this week and I’ve been assigned to supervise her. She hasn’t left me alone the whole time.” He lowered his eyes in remorse. Naruto had never seen such an emotion on Sasuke’s face. It was new and very unlike the Uchiha. “I keep telling her I’m in a relationship, but she insists.”

Naruto’s eyes narrowed. “She’s hitting on you?” He asked.

Sasuke nodded curtly. “And I’m stuck with her for a month.”

Naruto fell into a thoughtful silence. He raised his eyes again. “So, she’s bugging you?” He asked nervously.

Sasuke snorted. “To the point that I feel completely drained every day.” He huffed out air and ran a hand through his tousled hair. “She’s too energetic, worse than you.”

Naruto glared at Sasuke when he wasn’t looking; he didn’t like being compared to this person. “And you’re not interested in the least?” He asked bitterly. He knew he’d been caught with resentment evident in his eyes when Sasuke frowned at him.

Sasuke smiled smugly at Naruto and unhurriedly stalked closer. “Jealous?” He probed.

Naruto ignored his boyfriend and turned away to focus on the meat before his eyes. He began to slice the fillet but tensed when Sasuke wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pressed his pelvis into Naruto’s backside. Naruto struggled and jabbed Sasuke in the ribs lightly but was restrained immediately.

“I only love you, Naruto.” Sasuke spoke, honestly flowing in his voice. Naruto knew he wasn’t lying, but pouted nonetheless.

“She’s seen you more than I have this whole week.” Naruto accused. Sasuke forced him around in the tight space between them and crushed their lips together. It seemed as though the dark haired man sucked out all of the hostile feelings inside Naruto and replaced them with heated passion and desire to brew deep within his body.

They didn’t bother with words anymore as their mouths and bodily needs answered for their complete trust and love they possessed for each other. Yet, as Sasuke kissed him with such tenderness and truth, Naruto couldn’t help gripping onto Sasuke’s shirt for dear life, as if he feared Sasuke would disappear if he didn’t hold on tight.

To be continued…