The Day I Fear

Summary: “Halting in his actions, he considered the chances that Sasuke would return home in time for dinner, let alone realise that Naruto had made him dinner…” As lovers, Naruto is more than aware of Sasuke’s feelings and moods, so when Sasuke begins to change and distance himself, what reason does Naruto have to not suspect that Sasuke has someone else in his life?

Disclaimer: Naruto and Sasuke belong to Kishimoto Masashi and the story plot belongs to me, respectfully.

Warning: Minor coarse language

Note: This is the second part and therefore concludes the short story. Sorry for mistakes, I wrote it in the middle of the night.

Part 2 – Rhetorical Question

Saturday morning, Naruto woke up to the light of the sun shining on his face. He cringed and turned over to bump into a body. He smiled lazily and sighed; for the first time since the start of his worst week, Sasuke was in their bed and still sound asleep. Naruto pulled the covers over their shoulders and scooting closer to his lover, spooning Sasuke tightly and curling his strong arms around his waist. Sasuke moaned peacefully and closed his own hand over Naruto’s, acknowledging the blonde’s cuddliness.

“Morning.” Naruto’s voice croaked with sleep. Sasuke replied with a grunt and squeezed his hand. Naruto watched through half-lidded eyes as his slow breathing fluttered through the small hairs on Sasuke’s neck and caused goose-bumps to appear. He nuzzled the spot behind Sasuke’s ear and planted a train of kisses running down the length of his neck and to his shoulder. Naruto wondered how many times he’d been giving the blessing to kiss the man he loved so much.

“Do you remember the first time we kissed?” Naruto whispered into Sasuke’s back. There was a snort but Naruto could feel the smile sipping through Sasuke’s lips.

“Hardly, we were both blind drunk and you took advantage of my feelings.” Sasuke replied and grunted when Naruto shoved his free fist into his lower back.

“You kissed me, Sasuke. Don’t confuse the story.” Naruto said, though he was sure Sasuke remembered that night perfectly. The blonde had disappeared from the crowded house to cry in the backyard in his drunken stupor. He’d been tired of keeping the secret that he was in love with his best friend to himself, but he didn’t want to lose Sasuke either by confessing and being rejected.

Sasuke had gone in search of him and soothed him when he saw Naruto was crying. Even though he didn’t know why at the time, he still comforted the blonde. “If you cry like that, you’ll make me want to cry, too.” Sasuke had admitted and leaned in to kiss Naruto, inaudibly confessing his own feelings for the blonde.

Naruto was woken from his day dream when Sasuke rolled over and faced him. He tucked his forearm under his ear and gazed into Naruto’s eyes, remembering the same night vividly.

Sasuke smirked. “I kissed you only because you looked like a girl crying.” Sasuke murmured though his grinning lips.

“What?!” Naruto shouted incredulously.

Sasuke chuckled. “No matter, we were drunk, so it was so much easier to get you in my bed after.”

Naruto blushed furiously and frowned at Sasuke’s laughing face. “Now you’re just screwing with me.” Sasuke stopped laughing and Naruto noticed the predatory gleam in his eyes.

“Mmm, not just yet.” Sasuke purred. He drew closer to Naruto’s face and closed his lips over the other’s. Ignoring the taste of morning breath, he moved over Naruto’s body and pinned one of the blonde’s wrist above his head. Sasuke could feel Naruto’s heart thumping excitedly under him and slipped one leg between the blonde’s.

Naruto gasped his name. “Sasuke!” He lifted his hips and ground them against Sasuke’s pelvis, receiving a pleasurable moan and rocking hips moved against each other very slowly.

The phone rang. Both men grunted in frustration and took a second to regain their panting breaths before Sasuke reluctantly peeled himself off of Naruto. He glanced down at their erections and scowled deeper when he had to leave that Godly body.

“Hello?” Sasuke spoke in an irritated voice.

Naruto watched his lover’s face contort in a mixture of annoyance, and then anger, until it finally softened and he nodded softly, replying back to the other person in a hushed voice. Naruto glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It was already ten thirty.

“I have to go to work.” Sasuke stated remorsefully as he pulled a pair of jeans on.

Naruto’s eyes widened considerably. “You’re leaving me hard and horny?!” He shrieked making Sasuke cringe.

“We’re in the same boat, Naruto.” Sasuke reminded him in a low voice, catching the satisfied smirk on Naruto’s face. He turned away to pull on a shirt. “The new apprentice created a mess and apparently she’s deleted all the files on my computer.” He explained.

Naruto narrowed his eyes, considering the coincidence of it being her to interrupt them. No, he thought, he shouldn’t be paranoid. Sasuke loved him.

“I’m sorry.” Sasuke apologised with a downcast expression, softening Naruto’s cold, jealous heart and allowing a smile to bloom.

“Don’t forget your phone. I’ll call you after.” Naruto informed him, relaxing back into the pillows.

Sasuke groaned and hung his head. “Please do.” He begged. “I’ll be back around lunch.”

“I’ll be waiting for you to finish me off.” Naruto purred. Sasuke’s lips thinned.

“Don’t tempt me now, Naruto.” He growled warningly.

Naruto rose from bed when he heard the door shut and had a cold shower, cooling his excited body and clearing his over-imaginative mind. The thought of sex with Sasuke would have to wait, so for now, he decided to clean.

It was a chore Sasuke had forced him to do in his own home many times, threatening to never let the blonde touch him again or bribed him with an all-expense-paid trip to Naruto’s favourite Ramen stall down the street. Now, though, cleaning had become second nature to Naruto, so he would easily get down on his hands and knees to scrub the floors as if he were relaxing and reading a book.

The only downfall was that the stereo had been busted for a while now and neither Sasuke nor Naruto bothered to replace it with a new one, so the house was empty of music and persuaded the mind to start thinking.

Naruto didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts. He was too vulnerable right now, aware of some woman trying to lure Sasuke into her love trap. He knew he could trust Sasuke, and he knew Sasuke would never do anything that would hurt Naruto. He promised he never would after the time he ran away.

They were thirteen years old and Sasuke had topped all his classes. But his father was never completely satisfied with his efforts and repeated to Sasuke to become as successful as Itachi in life, turning the words into a hateful mantra. It easily depressed Sasuke, and he’d become jealous of Naruto’s easy life with his mother, and how she’d always praise the idiot for the strangest things. Sasuke had come to believe Naruto was his sworn enemy, and not his best friend.

And then, without a note of reason or goodbye, Sasuke ran away. Naruto had been the most shocked that his best friend had not told him anything. And it was his determination and anger that allowed him to locate Sasuke before anyone at the train station waiting for a train. They fought with fists and released all their pent up rage. Sasuke had spat cold, hateful words, only saddening Naruto further and enforcing his promise to break his legs and arms and drag him home if Sasuke didn’t freely.

They were thrown out of the station by the guards and sat on the footpath for over an hour in silence until their parents found them and brought them home. A week of silence between them lapse, and Sasuke caved in and apologised to Naruto, promising to never hurt him like that again. Naruto took Sasuke’s promise to heart, and they became even closer friends. Their bond had been strengthened.

Naruto finished cleaning the floors and smiled victoriously. Once he’d cleaned the kitchen table and bathroom, he began to prepare a nice lunch for when his boyfriend returned home. Sasuke would be proud of him.

Naruto glanced at the clock once more. Three o’clock. He resisted the urge to call Sasuke again, in case he’d be disturbing his concentration yet again. The mess the apprentice made had been rather grave and it was grating Sasuke’s nerves to the point that he lashed out unnecessarily at Naruto over the phone. He apologised quickly and said he was busy and he’d call him when he was finished. That was over an hour ago.

Naruto sighed defeated and decided that staying in the house was unhealthy for his thoughts and only caused him to worry. He scribbled a short note and placed it over Sasuke’s wrapped lunch, explaining he’d gone to the park for a walk.

Leaving the house, Naruto checked for his keys, wallet and phone in his pockets and set out.

Naruto returned home to an empty, dark house. He gulped nervously and shut the door quietly. Was Sasuke sleeping already? But it was only seven thirty.

“Sasuke?”

No response. Naruto pocketed his keys and switched on the hallway light. Walking through with his muddy shoes still on, he turned on the kitchen light and his heart sank. His note was still sitting on top of Sasuke’s cold lunch.

Worried and frustrated, Naruto ripped the note in half and tipped the perfect lunch into the trash can. The plate clattered loudly in the sink and Naruto ripped the phone off the cradle in the living room, dialling Sasuke’s number.

His eyes widened when it went straight to his voice mail. “What the hell?!” Naruto shouted, furious now. Why isn’t Sasuke home yet?! He stormed out of the house again, slamming the door shut.

Naruto jogged to Sasuke’s workplace, the tall building located about seven blocks from their apartment, making it convenient for the both of them as Naruto worked three blocks away. He was panting loudly with sweat of nervousness and exercise ran down his brows. He waved quickly at the security guard who he recognised well and made his way towards him.

“Sasuke’s not here, Naruto?” He said immediately before Naruto had even needed to speak. The guard was familiar with Naruto for always looking for Sasuke. He was aware of their relationship too and was quite comfortable with it, keeping things less complicated for Naruto and Sasuke.

“Do you know – where he is?” He gasped in between deep breaths.

The guard shook his head frowning. “No, but he did leave with that new girl.” He said thoughtfully.

“The new apprentice?” Naruto asked horrified. His thoughts began to race. No, he mustn’t think bad thoughts. It never helped.

“Yeah, but God damn! That girl is so clumsy. She gets on Sasuke’s nerves every day. Poor guy.” He chuckled sympathetically.

This eased Naruto’s heart somewhat. He laughed quickly too. “Yeah, I heard. Okay then, thank you.” Naruto smiled brightly and waved.

“Hey!” The guard called making Naruto pause in mid step. The older man was eyeing Naruto closely and smiled softly. “You look like you haven’t slept in days.” He noted. Naruto’s heart thumped. “Just go home and sleep. Sasuke will be home soon, no need to worry.”

Naruto looked at the kind man and nodded his thanks. He heeded his advice and walked back to his apartment, wondering if the shadows under his eyes were that evident. Sasuke never seemed to notice them, though.

Unlocking the front door with his eyes closed, he hoped he would see the light through his closed eyelids. Alas, no light was on inside. Sasuke was not home yet. It was already eight fifteen.

Naruto skipped dinner, not feeling hungry in the least as worry filled him up. He sat in his usual seat on the kitchen table. He faced the door. The silence was overwhelming. He read the clock – even the ticking was quiet – eight thirty.

Nine o’clock.

Nine thirty.

Ten o’clock.

Sasuke would usually come home now.

Ten thirty.

Naruto began to fidget in his seat. He dialled Sasuke’s number. Again, it went to his voice mail.

Eleven o’clock.

Eleven ten.

Naruto heard keys jingling outside. He stopped shaking his leg and gripped onto the tabletop. The keys were not inserted in the door he faced. It was his neighbour.

Twelve.

One.

Naruto dialled the number again. Voice mail. He let out a cry.

Two.

Two thirty.

Naruto passed out on the table.

Naruto jolted in the chair and cringe when his muscles strained. His neck was stiff and protested against the movement, but he had heard keys. And surely, they opened his front door. He glanced quickly at the clock and his eyes widened. Six in the morning. Naruto shot up in his chair and wavered, feeling light headed and nauseous.

Sasuke acknowledged Naruto quizzically. “Why are you there, Naruto?” He questioned. He stepped into the kitchen, and Naruto could smell the booze and scented perfume. He had lipstick on his cheek.

“Sasuke,” Naruto’s voice was painfully quiet. “There is lipstick on your face and you smell like a woman.” Naruto watched as Sasuke quickly reached up to his cheek to wipe off the evidence. He looked caught and guilty. And Naruto knew – just from that look – he knew what had happened. It was that woman.

Naruto’s heart ached.

“Did you…” Naruto couldn’t finish his sentence. He thought he would throw up.

Sasuke looked at Naruto with a shocked, anguished expression. “No, Naruto…” there was pain in Sasuke’s reply. “She wanted to thank me for fixing the computer and insisted I drink with her.” He gulped anxiously. “She got really drunk, so I took her back home.”

Naruto’s teeth gritted together and he glared at Sasuke. “And you spent the night at her house?!” He demanded.

Sasuke glared defensively. “I couldn’t leave her alone! She wasn’t well.”

Naruto didn’t want to hear that from Sasuke. He shook his head furiously. “I stayed up all night waiting for you. I tried to call you so many times.”

Sasuke looked down at the tiled floors remorsefully. “My battery died. I’m sorry, I should’ve realised yesterday it was low.”

“And you didn’t even think to call me?!” Naruto cried out. He cursed himself when he could feel his emotions take over and his eyes start to sting.

Sasuke didn’t reply; he looked too tired and regretful to even explain further. Naruto couldn’t contain the tears threatening to spill any longer, so he shoved passed Sasuke and ran for the bathroom. He closed the door and locked himself in. His breathing came short and the tightening in his chest throbbed. He thought he was about to cry when he held it in; he could hear Sasuke’s feet hastily chase him.

“Naruto.” Sasuke spoke behind the door. There was a thud and Naruto guessed Sasuke had just hit his forehead against the wood. “Naruto, please open up.” His voice pleaded.

“Go away.” Naruto’s voice broke, giving away his emotions.

“Naruto.” Sasuke’s voice became forceful. “Open the door.”

“No!” Naruto shouted. He stared down at the gap under the door and could see the shadow beneath it.

“Naruto!” Sasuke’s voice was desperate now. He began to bang on the door.

“Go away.” He cried softly. “Go away!” He repeated more forcefully. He looked up and gasped at his own reflection in the mirror. His eyes were bruised with lack of sleep and tears stained his scarred face. He looked hideous.

Sasuke’s fist stopped banging. “Naruto!” He shouted, but his attempts were failing. He pressed his body against the hard wood and hit his head several times. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He chanted. He turned and slumped, sinking down to the carpet. He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them. Despite how tired he felt, his heart beat frantically against his chest. His nightmare was coming to life. He failed to protect Naruto from the monster that he was.

Naruto mimicked Sasuke’s actions and against the cold floor, he sniffled softly, letting the tears flow freely now that Sasuke could not see.

“I get very scared Sasuke.” He confessed. The dead silence behind him confirmed that Sasuke was straining his ears to listen. “I’m scared I’m not good enough for you. I’m scared you’re going to run away again.” He licked his dry lips, tasting the salt of his tears. “I’m scared your parents will find out about us and convince you to leave me. I’m scared you’ll fall in love with someone else.”

He ground his teeth together. “And I hate it that I’m so weak and can’t trust you completely. It makes me hate myself so much more and I’m scared you won’t like me then.” His breath had calmed. “I’m a stubborn person, I’m selfish and I want everything perfect. I’m insecure and jealous most of the time. I’m a dense idiot and my manners are unrefined. I don’t have a respectable job and I… I think that you could do so much better.” He closed his eyes. “But I don’t want to let you go.”

The silence consumed them. Naruto wondered if that was how he’d live the rest of his life. Alone and in silence. It was hurting his ears. The soft knock on the door effectively shattered the quiet, and Naruto crawled to his knees. Slowly, with hesitant fingers and rationalised thoughts, he unlocked the door.

Sasuke opened the door tentatively and stared Naruto in his wet blue eyes. Carefully, he reached up and cupped Naruto’s chin, pulling him closer and covering his mouth with his own. The contact was brief, and Naruto could feel new wetness touch his cheeks. He looked up and saw Sasuke was crying too.

“If you keep crying, Naruto, I’m going to cry, too.” Sasuke’s voice was soft and croaky, his eyes were glazed. He was quick to wipe them with his sleeve though and did the same for Naruto.

“Why are you so cruel to me?” Naruto whispered.

“Why do you love me so much?” He replied with his own rhetorical question. Neither of them answered the other.

They kissed softly and Sasuke wrapped his arm around Naruto’s shoulders. Naruto laid his palm over Sasuke’s heart and felt the rapid beating, assuring him that this moment was real. He gripped onto the fabric of Sasuke’s shirt. Naruto wondered if all the pain was worth the love he felt. When Sasuke clutched onto his arms and began to kiss him more urgently, Naruto knew he wouldn’t need anything else in the world. With or without the pain. It was all so worth this.

They both retired to their bed and while wrapped in each other’s embrace, slept a deep sleep. The constant ringing of the phone was not heard, and soon, it ceased. Sleeping all Sunday day proved to be refreshing and revitalising for both men, as the end of the worst week of Naruto’s life had finally come to an end. Naruto knew that once they awoke again, their bonds would be stronger than ever, and the day he feared most would probably never come.

The End.