Making the Hard Decisions

Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, RTD does. I'm not making any money. This is purely for my enjoyment!

Ianto was on his way from the kitchen with a tray full of coffees when suddenly he felt the need to wretch. He set the tray down on the tabletop and deposited his morning's breakfast into the nearest bin.

"Ianto are you all right?" Jack asked, sauntering into the kitchen.

"'M fine," he muttered, straightening up and wiping a hand across his mouth. "It's just a touch of the flu, that's all."

"You've been saying that for two weeks. I think it's more than the flu," Jack said.

Ianto started to protest but Jack cut him off by saying, "You're getting checked out by Owen. It's not negotiable."

Minutes later Ianto found himself lying on a cold gurney in the autopsy bay. His jacket and tie were draped over a chair and his shirtsleeves were rolled up. Ianto felt uncomfortable, almost like he was out of uniform.

Owen had grumbled about "being the bloody tea-boy's nursemaid" but had finally bowed to Jack's demands and done several scans.

He was currently checking them out while muttering under his breath, "I don't believe it! Only in fucking Torchwood!"

He motioned Jack over and showed him the scan.

"You've got to be kidding me. There's no way! Run the scan again!" Jack commanded.

"What?" Ianto asked. "What's wrong with me?"

"I already ran the scans twice. There's no way it's wrong," Owen snapped.

"What's wrong with me?" Ianto demanded again.

"Congratulations tea-boy, you're going to be a mother," Owen said with a smirk.

Ianto fainted.

When Ianto woke up he was still lying on the gurney.

"Welcome back tea-boy," Owen said. "You were out for quite awhile."

"Where's Jack?" Ianto asked.

"He's with Tosh and Gwen in the archives searching for some sort of alien tech that could have caused this," Owen answered.

"Caused what? Because I was sure you said I was pregnant. Nice joke Owen," Ianto mumbled, sitting up on the gurney.

"I wasn't kidding around. You're pregnant."

Ianto rubbed at his eyes.

"But that's impossible! How did it happen?"

"Beats me. You're the one screwing Jack. God knows if he's even human," Owen said.

"Oh he's human all right," Ianto said with a smirk, jumping off the gurney and beginning to fasten on his tie again.

"I so don't want to know," Owen muttered.

"Find anything yet?" Gwen asked.

"Will you stop asking me that? You know I haven't found anything!" Tosh snapped.

"I was only asking!"

Jack sighed. They had been searching for hours now and were all on edge. Gwen and Tosh's bickering was giving him a headache.

"I'm going upstairs. If you find anything, call me," Jack said.

He ventured upstairs into the autopsy bay to find Ianto gone and Owen poring over his computer.

"Where's Ianto?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. He left awhile ago and I haven't seen him since," Owen said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Jack moved to stand behind him.

"Research?"

Owen grunted in response. He was busy typing "male + pregnancy" into the Torchwood search engine.

"Why don't you go canoodle with tea-boy and I'll let you know if I find anything. I don't need you standing around behind me like a bloody teacher all day," Owen snapped.

Jack sighed.

"Fine."

He decided to search the Hub for Ianto.

Ianto was sitting at his work station staring out into space. He had intended to do some work but ended up thinking about his situation instead.

I can't raise a child with this job; it's too demanding and dangerous. Does Jack even want kids? What kind of parents would we make? What am I going to do?

The thoughts swirling around in his head finally became overwhelming and Ianto began to cry. He slumped over his desk, hiding his face in his arms.

I don't want to be in this situation. It's not fair!

When Jack ascended the stairs into the tourist office the first thing he was greeted by was the sight of Ianto sobbing at his desk. Jack felt his heart break.

I shouldn't have been down in the archives. I should have been up here comforting him.

Leaning down over his lover, Jack began to rub slow circles on his back in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

"Ianto, I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier. Please tell me what's wrong," Jack begged.

Ianto lifted his tear-stained face and looked at Jack with red eyes.

"I'm just feeling overwhelmed," he said. "I don't know what to do."

Jack drew Ianto up from his chair into his arms. He gently cupped Ianto's face in his hands, preventing him from looking away.

"Ianto, it's your body. You do whatever you feel is right," he said.

"But what about you?"

"I promise that I'll support you one hundred percent, no matter what choice you make. If it means keeping the baby I'll try to be the best parent I can be. If it means having an abortion I'll be by your side for that too."

"Thank-you," Ianto whispered. "I…. just thank-you."

Jack drew him in for a slow, gentle kiss, his tongue probing the confines of Ianto's mouth. However, it was interrupted by the squawk of Jack's earpiece.

"Jack, I think we found something. We're in the archives," Tosh said.

"I'll be right there," Jack said.

He turned to Ianto again.

"Do you want to come with me?"

"No," Ianto said. "I'll stay here. I need to do some serious thinking."

Jack nodded.

"If you need anything just call."

He descended the stairs into the Hub once more.

"Owen did a search for fertility devices and we cross referenced it with all of the devices Ianto's catalogued," Gwen explained.

She was holding a small, square object with a pair of tweezers. It was opaque in colour except for a red gas that swirled around inside of it.

"But I scanned that. It was totally harmless," Jack said, looking puzzled.

"It's actually a Tertofilian fertility device that only becomes active once every twenty-eight days. It might not have shown up on the scanner when it was dormant. Ianto must have touched it when it was active," Owen said.

"So how does it get a guy pregnant?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, that's the interesting part. Apparently in men it grows an artificial womb, which uses their DNA to create eggs for fertilization. All it needs is someone to provide the sperm," Owen explained.

"So what do we do now?" Jack asked.

"That part's up to you and tea-boy. Either he stays pregnant and eventually gives birth or I remove the womb and the pregnancy," Owen said.

Jack sighed. It was going to be a hard decision for Ianto to make.

"Of course I followed safe handling protocol!" Ianto snapped. "Then you said it was harmless and I filed it!"

He crossed his arms over his chest.

"This is all your fault, Jack."

"My fault?" Jack exclaimed. "You weren't exactly complaining when I handcuffed you to my bed!"

Ianto turned away and wiped at his face. Jack immediately felt his heart soften.

"I'm sorry," Ianto said in a choked voice. "I'm just….. I can't…. I'm scared Jack. I'm so fucking scared!"

Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist from behind.

"We both are," he said in Ianto's ear.

"Do want kids?" Ianto asked.

"You know, I never really thought about it," Jack answered. "I never had much interest in being a father before."

"Me neither," Ianto said. "I'm not good with kids. But maybe it's different when they're your own."

"Maybe," Jack agreed. "But like I said, it's up to you."

I don't want it to be up to me, Ianto thought miserably.

Lying in bed later that night Ianto listened to Jack's snores and thought about it. He rested a hand on his abdomen and weighed his options carefully. Ianto was not one to make rash decisions and he listed each of the pros and cons mentally, cataloguing them all in his mind as if they were important archival items. Eventually he reached the decision he thought was best. Ianto closed his eyes. He would attempt to make peace with himself later.

Jack was in his office cursing the huge amount of paperwork he was required to do when the door opened and Ianto entered. He was impeccably dressed as usual, but he looked pale and the expression on his face was unreadable.

"I need a word with you Jack."

"Sure," Jack said. "Are you all right?"

Ianto took a deep breath.

"No," he said softly. "I... I made my decision Jack... I'm not keeping it."

Jack got up from his chair and came around the desk to wrap his arms around Ianto. Ianto rested his head on Jack's shoulder, his breathing ragged as tears streamed down his face.

"All right tea-boy. Take off your clothes and get on the table," Owen said.

"Don't I get a gown or something?" Ianto asked.

"I'm making a large incision into your abdomen. It would be pointless," Owen snapped. "Just take off your damn clothes and get on the table."

"Well can you two close your eyes or something? I'm not putting on a strip show!"

"Hey, it's not anything I haven't seen before!" Jack said, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

Owen glared at him.

"I don't want to know!"

Grumbling, Ianto stripped off his clothes and dropped them onto the nearest chair. He climbed onto the operating table and quickly pulled the sheet over his lower half.

"Why does Jack get to assist? He knows field medicine, not surgery!" he said.

"Well you wouldn't want Tosh or Gwen to see you naked, right?" Jack replied.

Ianto sighed.

"Just hurry up and get it over with," he said.

Owen placed the mask over his face.

"I'm just giving you some gas. Count backwards from one hundred until you're asleep," he instructed.

"100, 99, 98…..97…96…."

The world went dark.

When Ianto woke he was on a significantly more comfortable surface. A quick feel of his abdomen revealed that it was swathed in bandages. There was an IV connected to his left hand.

"Welcome back," Jack said.

Ianto looked around groggily.

"Where am I?" he managed.

"We put you in the treatment room. I thought you'd be more comfortable in here than waking up on the slab. Owen's going to check you out now."

"Don't want him to," Ianto mumbled, shutting his eyes again.

"Well you don't get a choice," Jack said.

Owen entered with his med kit and went to tend to Ianto.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Like I went ten rounds with a Weevil," Ianto moaned.

"You're going to be feeling like that for awhile. No heavy lifting or chasing Weevils for you for at least a month. And right now I expect you to stay in bed for at least two weeks," Owen said.

"Two weeks!" Ianto exclaimed. "Who's going to make the coffee or set up Jack's schedule or-"

"Don't worry about it," Jack cut him off. "We'll manage just fine."

"Yeah right. Tosh is going to break my coffee machine and you're going to forget to call the Prime Minister," Ianto grumbled.

"Don't even think about it. Just lie back and relax for once," Owen said.

He hooked up a bag to Ianto's IV.

"Pain killer," he explained to Jack. "It'll help him rest."

Ianto closed his eyes and drifted off again.

Ianto hated lying around all day. Under Owen's orders he wasn't allowed to get out of bed without help. Help usually meant Jack, who wasted no time in cracking jokes whenever he was helping Ianto bathe or use the bed pan.

"Can't I get up soon?" he demanded again when Owen was checking him out.

"For the last time, no!" Owen snapped. "You're going to stay in that bed for two weeks, even if I have to tie you to it!"

"I'd prefer that it was Jack tying me down," Ianto teased.

Owen made a disgusted face.

"I heard my name! Who's talking about me?" Jack asked with a grin as he entered the room.

"Owen was talking about tying me up but I'd much rather have you do it," Ianto said.

He winked at Jack.

"Oh, I'm sure that can be arranged," Jack said lecherously.

"That's it! I'm getting out of here," Owen snapped.

He made a beeline for the door. Jack sat down on the bed and took Ianto's hand in his.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Slightly better," Ianto said. "I don't feel quite as bad as I did the first day."

Jack gave his hand a squeeze.

"You know that's not what I meant. How are you feeling emotionally?"

Ianto sighed.

"I don't know. Did we do the right thing Jack?"

"I think we did," Jack said softly. "I can't see either of us looking after a child with this job. Not to mention that I wouldn't be able to shag you wherever I please anymore."

Ianto chuckled.

"You still can't shag me wherever you please. Owen gave me a stern lecture on not having sex until I'm up and about again," he said.

Jack mock-groaned.

"I can't go that long without sex!" he cried, causing Ianto to laugh even harder.

"The great Jack Harkness, defeated by doctor's orders!"

"Just you wait Ianto Jones! The moment you're better I'm going to shag you senseless!"

They both burst into laughter again.

"That better be a promise," Ianto said.

Two weeks after the operation Owen pronounced Ianto fit to go back to work as long he took it easy. Ianto went back to filing, making the coffee, and trying to keep the others from killing each other.

"I've just brewed coffee. Would anybody like some?" he asked, entering the work area with a tray.

"Me!" Gwen and Tosh chorused.

Ianto set cups on their desks and headed off to the autopsy bay. Owen was in the middle of dissecting a gelatinous yellow alien creature and merely grunted his thanks when Ianto left him his coffee. His next stop was Jack's office. Jack was sitting at his desk with a frustrated expression on his face.

"Something wrong?" Ianto asked, setting the cup of coffee down on the desk.

"I hate paperwork, I'm bored, I don't want to do this, and I'm horny as hell," Jack sighed.

Ianto moved around behind Jack and began to massage his shoulders. Jack sighed in contentment as Ianto worked out the tightness.

He leaned down and nipped at Jack's neck before murmuring, "I can't do anything about the paperwork but I can take care of that last one."

"Oh please do," Jack moaned.

"Let's go somewhere more comfortable," Ianto suggested.

"Can you get down the ladder okay?" Jack asked.

"Jack, I'll be fine," Ianto said, rolling his eyes.

"Just checking," Jack said with a grin.

The two of them headed for the ladder.

An hour later they lay side by side, sated and comfortable in Jack's bed. Ianto was resting his head on Jack's chest.

"Jack?" he asked suddenly.

"Hmm?" Jack murmured.

He was idly playing with Ianto's hair.

"What are you thinking about?" Ianto asked. "You've been awfully quiet."

"Just thinking about us," Jack said. "About…. Well wondering what it would have been like if we'd had the baby."

"I wonder too," Ianto said. "I think I'll always wonder."

He could feel emotion choking his throat and sat up on the edge of the bed. He didn't want Jack to see him cry again.

"Ianto," Jack said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

When Ianto didn't budge Jack moved over to sit beside him and took his hand. Ianto still wouldn't look at him.

"Ianto," he said again. "I'm sorry."

Ianto looked over to see Jack with tears in his own eyes.

"I'm sorry too," Ianto whispered.

He drew Jack into his arms.

"I know we made the right decision," Jack said. "But that doesn't mean it hurts any less."

"I know," Ianto whispered. "I know."

Jack pulled away and wiped roughly at his eyes.

"I should be holding you," he said, sniffling.

Ianto smiled.

"Sometimes you just need to be held," he whispered gently. "There's nothing wrong with it."

"I know," Jack murmured.

"For what it's worth, I think you would have made a good father," Ianto said.

Jack laughed.

"You're crazy. Can you see me getting up at three am to change a diaper?"

"Why not? You do a lot of other crazy things," Ianto said seriously.

Jack tilted Ianto's face up for a kiss.

When they broke apart, he said, "We made the right choice, even if it was a hard decision. We'll just have to keep telling ourselves that."

Ianto nodded and rested his head against Jack's shoulder.

"I know," he whispered.