Author: Vanus Empty PM
When you're dead, there isn't much else to do. Spoilers up to 07x11, “Petty Cash.”Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Words: 494 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11-15-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4656405
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Nothing to add, really. Just wanted a little post-death!Lem.
Disclaimer: Shawn Ryan owns this. Yea.
When you're dead, there isn't much to do, contrary to popular belief. So he watches. He's not real sure where he is – it's not Heaven, it's not Hell. It's not unpleasant, but it sure isn't pleasant either. It just Is. Lem supposes this is purgatory and his memories of Sunday school confirm it for him. The place where The Boss puts you if he ain't too sure about where you should end up.
A killer with a conscience.
Curtis Lemansky never claimed to be a good man, but his guilt and his morals ate at him. His guilt damn near killed him with those ulcers a couple years back, in fact. (Actually, his guilt did eventually kill him and a part of himself laughs at the irony.)
So when you're by yourself, all alone for what feels like eternity (because, really, isn't that everyone's greatest fear? Being left alone?), all you can really do is watch the Living.
And holy freaking Christ, he is pissed at Shane. It was no secret that there was more bad blood than good between them, but, wow. He didn't think it qualified a goddamn grenade in his lap! He didn't remember much about his death over than a deafening sound and pressure. Holy shit, thank God his nervous system went out with the blast because he doesn't think he would have been able to handle the kind of pain that comes when you're blown to shit. And the fucking coward had the gall to beg him for forgiveness.
Vic, well, Vic went down a nice, long, very dark road of vengeance and wrath. Sure, Lem couldn't blame him (hey, thanks for caring, by the way, he wishes he could say), but what he did to the guy he thought had killed him? Not good, boss. It weighs on his soul, the sins Vic committed in his name, and Lem wishes he hadn't done them.
And Ronnie. Ronnie followed Vic down that path of revenge. Lem doesn't know what to make of him anymore. He used to seem kind of greedy and a bit of an ass-kisser, but he was a good man who hadn't stepped too far over that line yet. Lem's death sent him doing a fucking swan dive over that cliff.
If he could, Lem would sigh.
This whole shit had gone so far over their heads that they were in a different area code now. Shane, Mara, the blackmail. Vic, Ronnie, the failed hits. Claudette, Dutch, Corrine, the almost arrests. And the threads to all of them can tie back to that fateful night when Shane killed Lem.
Guys, Lem says softly to himself, don't chase my ghost. I won't want company any time soon.