|Percy Jackson and the KungFu Minotaur
Author: naughtymonkey PM
What Rick Riordan didn't tell you.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Percy J. - Words: 979 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11-16-08 - id: 4660367
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Once upon a mythological time. There was this ugly boy name Percy. He was really ugly, like i mean if you saw him u would turn into stone.
and he had a mother who worked in a strip club called the Wizards Den. She told her ugly son that she worked in a candy store but suurree. She made about $50
a day. She would use $40 to buy packs of cigarettes and gave $10 to buy Percy food. One day Percy mother told him that they should go to the beach where Percy's father went all the way with his mother. Percy did not know that of coarse. shucks he did not even know what a tampon , well anyways they go
to the beach and blah blah they tell stories and percy plays with his barbie dolls inside the cabin.(They did not tell you this in the story because Ricky did not
what anyone to know Percy's favorite toys) kinda embarrassing but yea. So they go hit the sack and they snooze off. Later around 2a.m. This stupid goat comes into the cabin and starts screaming. Percy is all wtf . why the hell is this moose doing in my cabin. but the goat was actually half boy too. His goat father was drunk a long time ago and started banging a poor goat up in Mount Olympus. That's why he was kicked out, also because he tried to do it to pegasus also. Jeez, but the goat started screaming about how his older brother who was half human and half bull was all angry at him for eating his pop-tarts so the half man, half bull said that he would kill anyone who played with barbie dolls. but this goat dude knew that Percy plays with barbie dolls so he warned him about the bull. His mother was still sleeping of coarse. so the goat wakes her up and she like"SHIT, I WAS HAVIN A GOOD DREAM!", then Percy was like all surprised cause the only bad word that he heard from her was "Oh snap" Then Percy tells her the whole story about how this bull-man is chasing after them. Percy's mother was all surprised and went into her back searching for something, Percy looks at the goat dude and he was touching his barbie dolls. "Hey dude those are mine"Percy said.
The goat replies"Oh my bad, I like your barbie dolls,better than mine" Then Percys mother pulls out a shotgun. "That bull-shit ant comin after us with this baby in my hands" Percys all like oh shit, and the goat guy is like sweet. Percy mother then storms out the cabin and waits for the bull. "First ill shoot it between the eyes then ill eat it up." says Percy's mother hungrily. Percy goes outside with the goat dude also. The goat guy says "Guys this guy is my brother some shotgun ant gonna kill him. Percy looks at the goat dude and asks"Hey whats your name?", "Me?" replies the goat. "Its Dragonslayler411, also WhiteDwarf100, but people also call me Grover." "Cool ill call you grover then" says Percy. Then Suddenly The Bull Man is seen in the distance charging towards them screaming "BLOOD!" Percys mom whispers " Hell, its about time" ,Percy says" aww shit were done for" and Grover screams" RUN!" Percy also runs too. Percys mother wonders why they are running and looks at the bull again. She looks at it more closely now and finds out something very scary. She starts running too! She finds out the the half of the human body is not just any human! Its Chuck Norris! Percy mom is all like 'OMFG! RUN!" and the chuck-bull is screaming and chasing at them. Percy and Grover run to a field and look at a apple tree up on the hill. "If we can climb up the apple tree he wont be able to get us." says Grover. While Percys mom is shooting at the chuck-bull. Percy is almost at the tree when suddenly he turns around. His mother is being strangled by the chuck-bull. She whispers " Percy..stay cool,Peace" then suddenly she blows up into millions of stars. Percy eyes are wide open cause he just saw his mom turn into dust. Grover is already up on the apple tree screaming "Percy! Come up here!" Percy runs up the apple tree and climbs on it. They are safe now, whew. But they see the chuck-bull coming to them."Ha ha he cant get us",Grover says happily. Then the chuck-bulls face is right in front of them. They suddenly find out that the apple tree is only 4 feet tall. "We are so screwed" Percy squeals. Then all of the sudden a boomerang hits the chuck-bull in the face and the chuck-bull screams"No! my beautiful nose!" Then the chuck-bull runs off crying. "What a baby" says a tall man. Percy looks up and see a man. About maybe 60 to 70 years old and with a body of a horse! Percy replies"Oh my god, Bruce Willis?" "No, its gotta be Jlo" Says Grover. "You fruit-cakes!" "Its me the one and only Chiron!" Percy is all surprised be cause he had seen his mommy turn into stuff that looks like powdered gatorade and he sees some geezer wearing a horse costume. Chiron says" Come boys take rest in my place and tomorrow we will solve everything." The boys go inside and Chrion suddenly looks behind. While the boys are gone he pulls off his mask. And he looks at his face into the mirror, the face of Micheal Jackson! "Now, what do i do with two handsome young men. muhahahahahahahhahahaha!"
to be continued......