A/N: Another installment of “Musical Memes”. This time I went with thirteen songs and combined songs together as “inspiration” for these ficlet. I kind of bent the rules a bit, as you can see. Anyway, most of these fics involve Genesis one way or the other. One, however, doesn’t and it should be obvious which one. Enjoy!

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1. In Dalaam there is a warrior--Earthbound Soundtrack

2. The path is open--Person 3 OST

3. Low Self Opinion--Henry Rollins

Genesis often told himself that he could easily name the three roles in his beloved epic poem. He told himself that because he knew that no one else would. They knew the truth and so did he, but the difference is that he simply didn’t want to admit it. Who’d be the one to fly away? Or travel? For awhile, Genesis considered himself in that role. After all, he liked to travel, but a traveler isn’t necessarily a hero and he wanted to be that. He certainly didn’t want to be the one captured even if the role did come with a girl. He already had someone, even if the someone was another man. When he thought of the other man, he thought of Angeal. Angeal liked to travel, but he practically defined a true hero. Everyone and their dog’s brother knew that, even Sephiroth did and he WAS the hero of the three. At least, everyone thought that. Just that Genesis wanted to be the hero, so as much as he loved his best friend and lover, well, he simply couldn’t cast Angeal as the hero no matter how true it was. As for the one being captured, the Crimson General had two words for that:

“HELL NO.”

Genesis didn’t mind Angeal being with Sephiroth on occasion, but anyone else? No, just no. Speaking of Sephiroth, most people would consider him the hero in the story. The “Silver General” could easily fit the part, Genesis knew that, but he also knew that his friend was made of ice, and that’s no hero. Not to Genesis. He had a great deal of respect for Sephiroth’s abilities even though it irritated him to be in the “Silver General’s” shadow. Angeal didn’t mind, but Genesis did and every time he saw the word “hero”, he remembered just how often he minded. Could Sephiroth be the captured one? Two words for that too:

“HELL NO.”

“This is Sephiroth we’re talking about,” Genesis whispered to one of Angeal’s damned plants. Even if someone did capture Sephiroth, he’d escape in a Midgar minute or others would make sure he did. Besides, Genesis didn’t feel too keen on Sephiroth being with anyone other than himself and Angeal.

He leaned back against the desk seat and groaned. He never did cast himself as the hero. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to, even though he knew he was good enough. He knew he was no Angeal, and Sephiroth--Genesis slammed the book shut, and held his head in his hands. No one ever asked him who he would cast as the “friendship three” and he felt relieved that no one ever did.

4. Sanctuary--Kingdom Hearts 2 OST

Some people viewed friendship as sort of a “sanctuary”. If Genesis had one word to describe Angeal, “Sanctuary” would certainty be it. He didn’t admit it to anyone, except for Angeal and Sephiroth. He simply didn’t trust others enough. Sometimes he wondered why he should trust Sephiroth, but “sometimes” was the operative word. Sure, they got into fights, but they worked together too, and they confided in each other when necessary. Genesis felt honored when Sephiroth would tell him something intimate, and he tried not to forget that the next time they’d fight about something.

5. They take away all the feeling--W.A.S.T.E.

Once upon a time, Genesis viewed Sephiroth as some sort of a blizzard. When Angeal asked why, Genesis simply said, “Look at his hair”. When Angeal gave him that questioning look, Genesis sighed, “Think about it. When he fights, his hair looks like wind driven snow, and not just any wind either, but fierce wind that could tear the roof off a house.”

Angeal raised his eyebrows, “Sounds like scary hair.”

“You’re missing the point. You see how Sephiroth is, right? He doesn’t show much emotion, his hair looks like afternoon ice, and he moves almost as fast as I do. Don’t you think that’s like a blizzard? They’re cold, and that describes Sephiroth very well too, don’t you think?”

Angeal shrugged. “I just never thought of Sephiroth that way. Then again, I don’t think the way you do.”

“Yes, Angeal, leave the poetry to me,” Genesis rolled his blue eyes. “And I wasn’t even being poetic.”

6. Wounded--Inkubus Sukkubus

7. When the moon’s reaching out to stars--Persona 3

8. Echo Slightly--Echo Slightly

9. Lord of the Flame--Inkubus Sukkubus

10. Breed to Death--Dismantled

I think Sephiroth takes pleasure in driving me insane. He’ll say shit like “you drive yourself insane”, but how the hell does someone do that. He says I’m self-indulgent sometimes and I say that I deserve to be after all I go through with him. I just get pissed when I see him get awards, and yes, he deserves them, but some of those should have been mine and mine alone. I don’t question his ability, no one dares to, but I know my abilities and I know Angeal’s, but we’re viewed as extras or worse, as sidekicks. We both deserve better, but Angeal doesn’t care and I’m fine with that. He is humble and the humble know who they are and how they see themselves. I wish I could feel that way all the time since sometimes is just plain not enough. I’m not fine with is seeing Sephiroth hailed as the only star. How can he be? The skies are full of stars, and each planet with life has at least one of its own. I want to be the star, for once, the only star. I feel like I’m a failure when I’m not hailed as a star that shines in its own right. I feel like I don’t exist when I’m in Sephiroth’s shadow. He insists that I’m not, and he smiles. Sephiroth considers that friendly and if he’s so damned friendly, then why do I feel that he takes pleasure in my pain?

I think he feels superior when I feel down, when I feel like a grunt. Even Angeal can’t comfort me when I feel worthless, and every time I lose a sparring match to the great Silver General, I want to die! I want to jump off the Shinra building during rush hour so no one could forgot who I am. Angeal is the only person who keeps me alive, and even then, I tense when I think of just how badly I need him because I don’t think he needs me like I need him. The thought hurts, just like Sephiroth’s little smile hurts, especially with those eyes like a bright, sunlight sea. I can almost taste the contempt I swear he has for me. I can sense it with others too, but they’re fans of Sephiroth, and they idolize him as though he were a god. Fuck them with a spiked glove.

Sephiroth was my idol once, but now? He’s a friend, sure, but it’s tainted by his smug superiority. Goddess, I hate him! I want to set him on fire! I’m a master of fire! I should be able to do it, but I can’t. I just can’t. I want him to taste defeat the way I have every time I’ve fought him. I want him to be a villain! I want him to be hated the way a lot of people hate me! I want, want, and want, but only Angeal cares what I want, but I never told him how I tend to feel about Sephiroth. I’m not sure if it’s because I honor his friendship with Sephiroth or if it’s because I don’t want to burden Angeal more than I have. I just don’t know. I feel worthless, but not constantly. Sometimes I know I’m great and destined to be a hero, but when Sephiroth outshines me, I feel like I don’t exist. I’m tired of feeling. I get tired of living sometimes, but Angeal is the only person who keeps me alive. That, and the knowledge that one day, somehow, someway, I’ll outshine Sephiroth. I just wish I knew when.

11. Hepatica #3--Xenosaga

Just forget it. Forget it all. Don’t dream him, be him. The sword is heavy and it was his, but forget his, forget him. To remember is to die. It hurts. Only friend...hurts..forget it. Just forget. It would be easier to just forget him, be him, try to be him. Forget the eyes that stared at everything and nothing. Forget the promise to remember. Forget the battle that killed many, forget how he fought with courage I never had. Forget, forget everything. It’s raining now. Or is it? I don’t know now. I’m tired. I want to die to be with my only friend, but he said to live and remember. No, just forget, forget his body lying there against the Midgar horizon, just forget. I’m sure someone will find him and carry him away somewhere, to the Lifestream, to wherever. Does it matter now? My only friend...he told me he wouldn’t abandon me, but I’m alone now, and if I remember, the pain will kill me and he told me to live, to remember. I’m cold. I hurt. I have to get to Midgar to be him. Don’t dream him, be him. Don’t cry, don’t be sad. He wouldn’t want me to be sad. He would want me to be him and he’s never sad. I’m sad, but forget it. Forget me, forget the pain, forget being weak. Just be him, and the pain will stop. Stop...

12. Kathy’s Song(Victoria Remix by VNV Nation)--Apoptygma Berserk

Okay, so I’m not a saint. Everyone and the universe knows this. Angeal knows it too. Even he isn’t always a saint. Sephiroth is so far from being a saint that even the scrambled word of it is inaccurate. Yet, he is painted as the hero a thousand times over. He gets the glory, he gets the interviews, and even his god damned fanclub has the more members than mine and Angeal’s combined. Hell, I just want to explode at Angeal sometimes. How can he live with being virtually ignored after all he’s done? Just that I know how. He knows what he’s done and who he is. He knows where he came from and doesn’t forget. He knows what he’s worth and he knows that even if he gets nothing, he is secure in the knowledge that he is SOLDIER, and no one can ever take that from him. Those who have tried have died. He can be stripped of everything but he can look you in the eye and know that he has integrity. He has nothing to prove, so the shadows mean nothing to him, and he never feels snubbed. Nothing phases him. Nothing, but what he wants to phase him.

No, I’m not a saint, but I also don’t have Angeal’s humility, I know I don’t. I know that much about myself, but if someone asked me what I was worth, I would say that I’m worth the world, but what I THINK changes like the tides. I wish I wouldn’t be bothered by Sephiroth hogging the spotlight, but I am. I am because I know I deserve to be there too. You don’t have to be a saint to be a hero.

13. Joy--Persona 3 OST

No one underestimates Angeal. No one. Too many people think that being like Angeal means being weak and deserving of exploitation. Not enough of those people don’t live to tell the tale. People tend to forget that someone like Angeal is steel forged in fire. Steel has a tendency of being rather strong. People who dare to look down on Angeal fail to notice this and act all amazed when some of that steel passes through them like water through fingers.

Sephiroth doesn’t dare underestimate him, and neither do I. I always knew not to. Sephiroth also did, so one day, I asked him how he knew not to view Angeal as weak.

“All you have to do is look at him,” Sephiroth replied.

I found myself agreeing and glad that Angeal is a true friend rather than an enemy.