To all my friends/reviewers/readers : WOW! I never imagined having 700+ reviews for this story, or for any of my work for this matter. It never stops amazing me, and I am so thankful to each and every single one of you for making my smile larger, and cheering me up after a hard day. You're the best. Honestly. You're so encouraging and heartwarming. I can go on and on about how grateful I am for you guys, but I'll just say THANK YOU and hope that is enough.

And a BIG HUG TO MY BETA, JEN! (LJ: bell12804 & FF: stargirl888) : You're the shit, what else can I say? I'm so glad we're friends. Will you be my Beta forever? *giggles while begging*

Chapter 16: Bella begins Edward's day with an eventful cooking show, followed by a few awkward moments. But as the "honeymoon" phase passes through and reality sets in,
does she start to worry if giving into her needs caused more trouble than Edward and her bargained for? And what if she finds out stuff she didn't prepare for, asking herself to reconsider every thing Edward has ever told her? What if their paths were destined to be different, and this just dawned on her now?

***HAPPY NEW YEAR!***
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Officially rated M. ... And again PLEASE REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. Just this little story, not the characters. [Robert Pattinson is hiding under my tree though, and he's only wearing a bow. ;)]

For what shall it profit a man,

if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul.

Mark 8:36

Chapter 16: And So It Goes...

As soon as the golden hot sun began to shine above the green-lit trees, creating a ban of rays along our tangled bodies through the glass of his bedroom windows, a wave of energy crashed over me. Everything that occurred replayed in my head for the hundredth time, and as I looked over to my right, seeing my sparkling arm trailed over his perfect tan chest, and watching him breathe slowly while in a dream... I couldn't help but smile.

After inhaling his scent greedily for one last time, I shot out of the bed, threw on Edward's bronzed button down shirt from last night and galloped down the steps. I heard his brothers and sisters come in drunk and loud around four thirty this morning, and knew they'd still be crashed out since it was only eight am now. Carlisle and Esme never showed up last night, but they did call and leave a message on the answering machine down stairs stating that they were fine and would be home late tonight.

With my new found confidence and upbeat attitude, I decided I was going to try and tackle breakfast again for him, and serve it fancy-style in bed. So I opened the fridge, biting my lip with the confusing decisions of food, and decided to choose eggs for my experiment - something that sounded easy. But as soon as I set the pan on the stove and looked at the carton, I furrowed my brows. How did this work exactly?

I scratched my head and tried to replay all the tv shows with food in it, but nothing came to mind. Giving in, I ran to the front room and turned on the tv, searching for the Food Network. Thankfully, the infommercials were over and some older white haired lady was explaing something other than breakfast food. No freakin' help.

So I just put the whole white thing in the pan and break it open while it cooks? Trying that, I stuck the egg in the pan and turned on the heat. Then I smashed it with my hand, causing the little white pieces to mix with all the nasty thick stuff. Ew, that doesn't look right.

No, the shells don't go inside the food, you have to break it... I rinsed out the pan and tried again, this time cracking the shell lightly with my fingernail and popping the nasty film-like items. Of course, they stuck to the pan quick, and turned brown before I could react. Burnt it. Great. Try it again, Bella.

So do I put butter in the pan first? Or some kind of greasy substance so it wouldn't stick? I searched through all the cabinets and found some Canola oil and butter. I blended them together and poured them into the pan, which caused a nasty smell and sizzle action. Then the grease busted and hit me on the arm. I growled, rinsing out the pan for the third time. Then I inspected the egg carton, verifying that there was no directions on it. Of course, there wasn't. I sighed, and spread butter alone on the pan, refusing to use that popping oil crap again. That stuff sucks.

Finally, the yellow nasty stuff didn't burn. But what heat did I put it on? I settled for the middle notch, because middle is not too cold and not too hot. Should do okay.

Do you add stuff to the eggs, like pepper or milk or seasoning? Annoyed with my brain, I added a bit of pepper and a dash of milk. That seemed simple enough.

How did I cook them, scrambled or with little orange circles in the middle like you see on the movies? As I was trying to decide, the eggs that laid there in a mixture of white and nasty yellow crop circles started to get brown rings around it. I was burning it again! I sighed. This was hard. Why couldn't I just cook it in the microwave? That appeared to be the best bet. Simple and uncomplicated, right? Deciding to try that, I stuck the new egg in in a plastic bowl and shoved in in the microwave. Four minutes, that sounded good. I guess...

POP!

Not even half that time, I heard a loud noise and rushed over to the microwave to find it covered in exploding yellow and white gooey stuff. Oops! I forgot to break the shell! I threw my head in my hands, growling to myself. This cooking stuff is too complicated. I didn't like it.

I needed something with directions. I left the microwave door open and dug through the cabinets, searching for some sort of breakfast food item with vivid step-by-step instructions on the box. After fifteen minutes of rummaging, I found it.

"Ah ha!" I shouted, jumping up and down. "Pancake mix! And all you have to do is add water! Yes, this is perfect!"

The only other mess I made was when I tried to blend the mix and water together, and didn't put the lid on the blender all the way. Some of the cake batter exploded on Edward's shirt and in my hair. I washed it off quickly from his shirt, afraid it'd stain it. After twenty minutes of getting myself covered in batter, and four pancakes burnt to charcoal, I finally achieved three that were looking half decent. I stuck a few lops of butter on it, poured some syrup in a bowl beside it, and a glass of orange juice, which he seemed to always like. Then I figured I needed to go get a flower to decorate the tray with, and maybe write him a little note. I was going for fancy, after all.

So I ran outside and picked the prettiest sunflower I could find. When I was back inside, I hunted down a pen in Carlisle's study. Leaning over the counter, I began my note. It took four scraps of crumbled paper to get what I wanted to say out without sounding foolish or dumb. I mean, how do you describe a feeling so incredible as the one he gave me last night? How do I tell him about how content I was just lying beside him?

Finally, I decided to just tell the truth, and go with:

Dear Edward,
I've spent the past ten minutes trying to figure out how to explain to what is floating around in my head, which is not an easy thing to do, as you can imagine... I wanted to tell you what it was like for me to watch you drifting to sleep with a smile on your face. It amazed me, the way you continued to hold onto my arm tight across your chest while you were dreaming, as if you were trying to bring me along with you, to a fairy-tale kingdom meant for only us. I've never been surrounded by so much magic in my life. I cannot express this in enough ways... There isn't a size that is capable of being compared to the amount of love that I hold for you. Without you, I don't exist in this world, because you're everything to me. Thank you for giving me my life back. I've missed it, and I love you.
For Eternity, Isabella.

God that's cheesy.

But it's how I felt. I didn't know if I should write my full name since I don't normally go by it, but the way it sounded on his lips last night, made me kind of like it more... A little. As I was signing it, I heard someone behind me clearing their throat. I froze stiff, suddenly too familiar with Edward's thin shirt over my otherwise naked body, and closed my eyes. Please don't let it be Carlisle and Esme, Please don't let it be Carlise and Esme, please, please, please.

I was too caught up in my own thoughts to hear anyone coming in the room, let alone a car pulling in the drive. Holding my breath, I slowly turned around against the island, and came face to face with something worse than Edward's adopted father and mother seeing me in nothing but their son's shirt. I squared my shoulders and bit my lip as I took in his slanted, cocky smile and wide chestnut eyes. "H-Hey Emmett."

He stood in front of me, wearing lose silver shorts over boxer briefs and no shirt. The short, dark hair on his head messed every which way, as if it had been yanked on, and the worse perverted expression was planted firmly on his face. He shook his head slowly in his own thought and didn't stop himself from taking in my appearance. "What's up?"

I shrugged nonchalantly, prancing on my feet. "Nothing. Um, do you uh, need something?"

He smirked. "It looks like you set a food bomb off in the kitchen."

I swallowed hard and looked around. The microwave door was open with dried up nasty goop dripping from it. There were pans and egg shells along the stove, counter, and trash. The sink was filled with more bowls. The stuff from the cabinets were placed everywhere, and the mix from the blender was still on the ceiling and in my hair. "I-I'm sorry, I'll clean it up."

"...Were you trying to cook or something?"

"Or something..." I verified as I walked behind the counter, not liking his eyes on my legs. "Not very successfully."

"Are you cooking for just you and Edward, or for all of us?"

"Just, um, him."

"Good." He smirked again and bit his bottom lip as his eyes zoned in on Edward's shirt. "What's the occasion?"

I shrugged. "It's... Sunday?"

"Ahh, Thou Lord art watching. I wonder what he'd think of you wearing that shirt... I bet he's not being too subtle about it. I almost hear the cursing in the clouds."

I held my chin up, trying to refuse him from making me feel guilty. "I'll be out of the kitchen now, and I'll be back down to clean the mess in a few." I took the pancakes from under the light I created as a heat lamp, stuck it on the tray with my note, along with the juice, flower, and syrup, and brushed past him as quick as possible without making it too obvious of how bad I wanted to get away from his stare.

I listened as he ran after me, stopping at the banister. "Hey, hey, Bella, wait, I just have one question. Please?" I froze on the top of the second set of stairs and looked down to him, showing him my annoyed expression. "Yes?" He licked his lips slowly, looking up at me. "...Was it good?"

If the Lord Himself was truly watching us right now, he would strike me dead from the look I just gave him. I could almost picture the daggers in his chest, in full detail. "You're such a jerk," I sputtered as I stormed up the stairs and into Edward's bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I heard Emmett laughing as he entered his bedroom, followed by Rosalie growling and telling him to shut up, that he was being too loud and she had a headache. But as soon as I focused in on Edward, laying on his stomach with his arms stretched out on the bed and thin sheet barely covering his back, all my frustrations went out the window.

I smiled and walked over to him, carefully sitting the tray on the nightstand. He looked so peaceful and serene, it was almost a shame to wake him. I sat beside him and ran my fingers through his swept bronzed hair, smiling at his warmth that crossed my fingers. His breathing was shallow, sounding almost like a newborn baby. I could honestly stare at him like that forever, and not mind one bit. He was glorious. As I continued to brush through his locks, he slowly began to move, nuzzling his face in the pillow beneath him. He was slightly sighing in his half-sleep daze, and then a crooked smile creased his lips. It melted the ice around my heart instantly.

"Hey sleepyhead," I whispered to him. "I made you breakfast." His smile grew wide as his eyelashes fluttered for a few seconds, and then he stretched out his body, making a slight humming sound. I almost fell off the bed. Being so close to something so angelic shouldn't be possible. The sparkling green and golden flecks on his eyes appeared slowly as he batted his eyes awake, and when he saw me sitting there, he nuzzled his face in the pillow again, then looked at me, as if he were drinking me in. "Mmm, good morning." He stretched up on his elbows, looking around the room, then focusing on the tray. "Wow, that smells delicious."

"Well I made it for you." I sighed, drowning innocently in the sound of his sexy, raspy, just-woken-up voice.

"Mmm, thank you sweetheart."

I picked the tray up as he flopped over on his back, and carefully positioned it over his legs, making sure not to spill the orange juice. "It took awhile to make," I confessed slyly. "I'm not really getting better at this whole cooking thing yet. But I made it with love, if that makes a difference." He chuckled, breathing it in. "I'm sure it's wonderful. But even it ends up being bad, you still get an A for effort. How about that?" I nodded. "Works for me."

I watched as he smeared the melting butter over the three brown pancakes and then poured the maple syrup over them. Then he sat the knife down, and picked up the sunflower, twirling it between his index finger and thumb with a pleasant smile on his face. "How sweet," he complimented at the touch. After, he lifted the folded note with one hand as he took a drink with the other. My stomach notched tight as he took my letter, and I climbed off of the bed and walked toward his stereo, trying to distract myself. I was too embarrassed to be around him when he read it.

It was too quiet in the room, only the faint sound of his steady heart and his shallow breaths surrounding me. I fingered his book shelves, taking in his literature collection, pouring my focus over the thick bindings. I heard the bed shuffling behind me in the echoing distance of my mind, and tried to ignore it. But when two warm arms surrounded my waist and a heated body covered with only a thin sheet touched my back, I snapped back into reality.

Edward's beating heart strummed against my body as he rested his chin on my right shoulder, nuzzling me close. "You're welcome," he whispered softly. "And I love you too. Always." I bit the inside of my lip and turned to face him. My smile matched his identically, and I stood on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Go eat," I gently demanded. "Before it gets cold." He snickered and pulled the sheet up so he could climb back in the bed. I watched as he cut into the food and took his bite, praying that it didn't taste like rocks to him. He smirked and nodded his head. "That's some good shit."

I giggled and relaxed my shoulders, enjoying my view of the fork sliding in and out of his lips with each bite he took. He made slight moans and smiles as he chewed, content in his place. I walked over to the bed, and resumed my place next to him. Well, even if the rest of the kitchen could blow up with anything else I attempted to make, there will at least be pancakes. I hoped he loved them as much as his face showed, because with my cooking skills, he'll probably be eating a lot of them.

After he finished eating and removed the tray from his legs, he snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me to him, my chest to his, covering us up in his warm covers. He held me against his body as his hands began a slow teasing torture along the small of my back.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked concerned, obviously talking about last night. I stretched out across him, loving every second of my life. "I feel perfect." I breathed him in slowly, nuzzling my face against his smooth shoulder. I felt his hands lower down my body, cupping my bottom in his palms. I looked up to find him smiling the most devilish smile possible. "What are you smiling about?" I prided too innocently.

He squeezed his hands a couple times. "Your... ass," he confessed heavily, with a chuckle. "It's nice." I buried my face in his chest, trying to hide my expression. "You look really sexy in my clothes by the way. Almost as good as you look without clothes... Almost." I pushed my face harder against him. "Stop it," I growled at him, loving every second of his compliment shower. "Aww," he released me with one hand to cradle the back of my head in a teasing manner. "Poor baby." I snickered into his skin and playfully slapped his stomach. "I'm really going to beat you up in a second."

"Oohh, I would love to see you try."

"I could totally do it if I wasn't worried about hurting you..."

Before I could finish my sentence, he had me flipped under him on my back, and his naked body sprawling out above me was suddenly very apparent. I bit my lip as he ground against me, holding my hands tight above my head while breathing heavily into my neck. I made little effort to fight against him when he placed both my wrists in his left hand and trailed his right hand along the buttons of his shirt. He began to unfasten them one by one, placing kisses with each inch of skin revealed, between my breasts, along my diaphram, down to my stomach. I held my breath when he began to blow warm air against my skin, shivering slightly under him. "W-What are you doing?" I gasped as be adjusted his weight over me better. He smirked as he placed his forehead to my stomach. "What do you think I am doing?" I inhaled deep, squirming around as his fingers placed light feather-like strokes along my inner thighs. "Torturing me?" I asked roughly. He chuckled and removed his hands, causing me to exhale in frustration. He sat up on his knees, caressing my waist gently as a crooked smile planted on his lips.

I sighed. "Tease."

"I'm going to brush my teeth. Would you care to join me, then maybe take a shower with me?"

It didn't take but one second to make a decision, as I scurried around him and climbed on my knees off the bed, running toward the bathroom. He laughed and followed me, wrapping his arm around me as I wet my toothbrush, which he purchased for me a few weeks back, so I could have one at both my Dad's place and his. He giggled as I brushed bashfully, shying away from him and covering my mouth from his view when I spit.

After we were rinsed, I all but again fought against his adorable eyes as he undressed me, then picked me up to where my back was against his chest, and he pulled me behind the glass shower door. The hot water sizzled as it touched my cold skin, and steam heavily filled the marble bathroom within seconds. We laughed and playfully flirted with each other as we lathered our bodies up. He'd tickle me and torture me with sudsy kisses, and I'd push him against the wall, pretending like I wanted him to go away. Then he rolled his eyes in the back of his head when I scrubbed the shampoo through his hair, and applied kisses to my neck when he washed mine. We were completely in sync, and the chemistry was beyond overwhelming with each kiss we made. Every light touch between us continued the electric current feeling, and all but overtook us completely.

But after we rinsed off, when he had his face in the water, and I went to place my mine on his back, I paused.

Then all the blunt cold-hard reality from my too-good-to-be-true morning finally set in.

There were fingernail marks lining in all areas along the length of his back. The scratches weren't too deep to cause severe bleeding or infections - thank God for the both of us - but definetly apparent with their red and white bubbled colors. I glanced down his body, and found large but faint bruises on the sides of his hips, in the exact positions of where my knees would go as I pulled him against me last night.

"Oh my God!" I clapped my hands over my mouth, backing away from him quick, until I hit the wall, knocking over a few bottles. Edward flung his body around, his eyes wide in shock and concern. "Bella, what is it?" I pointed at his body, trying to fight back a scream. "Look!" was all I managed to say. Edward looked down his stomach, holding his hands wide in the air. "What? What is it? Bella? What?" I continued to thrust my shaken finger at him, as I began to hyperventilate. He did a slight twirl, trying to figure out what I was pointing at.

"I-I hurt you!" I gasped too loudly. "I'm so sorry, I-I didn't mean to! I-I di-"

"Bella what on earth are you talking about? I'm fine!"

"No you're not! Edward, look at your hips! Your back! Oh my God!" I covered my face and sunk down to the ground, curling myself in a fetal position.

I should have known this was too good to true. I should have thought about this before I tried so carefree like to seduce him! Even when I'm nervous and shy, I still managed to hurt the one person I cared about more than anything else! This isn't happening, this isn't happening.

After a few seconds, I felt Edward's hands on my wrists but I pulled away from him. I looked to my lap, jerking my face away from his next attempt.

"Bella, I'm okay. I swear it, Angel."

I shook my head, curling my fists into my hair. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't think about the consequ-"

Edward's hands covered my mouth as he jerked my chin to force me to look at him. When I moved my eyes from his, he shook my face until I settled on his. He almost looked angry at me, which made me feel worse. "Bella, listen to me. Listen to me! I. Am. Okay. Alright? You. Did. Not. Hurt. Me."

Again, I tried to look away but he just clasped my face with both his hands, and yanked me forward, to where I was on my knees in front of him. "Edward, stop!" I shouted, afraid I'd hurt him somehow by pulling away too harsh. "You're not okay!"

"Bella!" He shook my shoulders before pulling my face to a mere centimeter from his. "Listen to me! Breathe! ...Breathe, Bella!" He blew on my face to calm me, and I inhaled deep and held it as my face trembled in his hands. I looked to see my pale fingers grasping ahold of his wrists, and moved them instantly, praying I wouldn't leave more marks.

"Breathe... Shhh, just breathe..."

I inhaled a few more times, not even realizing I was close to convulsions. Ragged and unsure, I stole a glance at his face, wondering what kind of torture he was trying to hold back. But his eyes were calm, and stilled on my face.

"Do you love me?" he asked, not letting me go.

I nodded as my face turned sour and my lip began to quiver. "Yes and I'm so sor-"

"Noo, that's not what I wanted to hear. Do you love me, yes or no?"

I swallowed. "Y-Yes."

His voice was still deep but a bit calmer now. "Then listen to me. You didn't hurt me. I hadn't even realized the marks until you pointed them out. They are only tiny scratches and faint bruises, and they probably won't even last the rest of the day. It's no big deal. I-"

I cut him off. "No big deal?" I shouted, trying to pull away from him but wincing as I was afraid to hurt him still. "How can you say that? Edward, it's a huge deal!"

His hand covered my mouth roughly, as he jerked me forward, my chest slamming against him, which caused me to panic again. I could tell he was getting frustrated with me, which made it worse.

"Stop doing that!" I shouted, "You're gonna make it worse!"

"BELLA!" He screamed at me, causing me to stiffen immediately.

I trembled against him as the steam and water continued to surround us. Edward forced my face to his, kissing me fierce. My fingers found his shoulders and I tried to carefully push him away, but he refused, kissing me harder. A million thoughts ran through my mind: What if he was crushing his nose? What if I bite his lip? What if my push or my pull or my kiss, what if they're all too strong?

He tangled my soaked hair in his warm fingers, not releasing me until I caved in and kissed him back, nearly crying against his lips. I wished I could cry, somehow, to prove to him how sorry I was. I never meant to hurt him. He moved his lips from mine, inhaling deep as he covered my still heart with his palm.

"This is love," he spoke with a dominated, firm voice. "Sometimes, things don't go as well as planned, or have certain reprocutions that we must live with. But we had an irreplaceable evening last night, and I am not going to let you spoil it for me, or for yourself, all right? They are fading marks, Bella. Nothing permanent, and I swear to you, it was not painful for me at all. I didn't even notice, being so swept up in your every movement. I mean how could I, when there's an Angel connected to me like that?" He paused to caress my face gently. "You and I, Bella. That's what matters. All this other stuff, it is only temporary. It fades. So please do not panic and stop worrying. Because I intend to make love to you every single chance I can possibly get, whether you like it or not."

Although I was completely stressed to the max and frustrated by our reprocutions, as Edward put it, I couldn't help but laugh slightly at that last part. Edward returned my smile, calming me more as his hands continued to soothe me. "Besides," he continued once he realized I was calming down. "Guys think it's pretty fucking sexy when girls dig their nails into their backs. Why in the hell would you think I would be any different?"

I sighed. "Edward, it's not th-"

His hand covered my mouth again. "It's exactly the same. Now come here, I'm not done with you yet." He pulled me deeper into his embrace, kissing my neck vigorously. I threw my fingers into his hair, sighing against his body. "I just love you so much, and don't ever want to hurt you."

"You won't." He said, breaking away from his kisses momentarily. "Which means you can't let me, Edward." I continued, grasping his hair tighter. "You have to help me with my control, because sometimes I do things and don't even know I am doing them."

"You'll never hurt me."

"Promise me."

He sighed. "I promise, Bella."

"Okay."

As he pulled his face away, the water cascading over our bodies freely, he smiled at me, and I noticed that hood filled expression in his eyes. I felt it begin to overwhelm me, and I trembled in his touch. Though I was afraid I'd hurt him again, my desire was too strong, and I couldn't help but to give in. I just made sure to not use my nails this time... or grip onto his waist too hard with my knees.

Edward, however, had other plans, as he pressed himself completely against me, causing the butterflies to return, the current to overwhelm us, and my to react to him.

Within seconds, our bodies crashed into each other, and we were creating more steam in that all ready heated bathroom.

"Hey, Bella!" Charlie rose from the couch, smiling to me as Edward and I walked into the door. "Fancy seeing you here within daylight hours."

I smiled, grasping Edward's hand tighter. "I know, it's a miracle."

His eyes momentarily locked on mine and Edward's hands, then bounced between our faces, before finally settling on Edward's alone. I swallowed hard as Dad smiled to him in thought. Deep thought.

Oh God.

"How are you doing today, Sir?" Edward beamed at him, as he ran his thumb along the back of my hand.

I had been nervous about bringing him over here today. But Carlise and Esme aren't predicted to be home until late tonight, and with the rest of Edward's brothers and sisters nursing hangovers and rotating groans and curse words, we decided we needed to go show Charlie we were a permanent packaged deal. Plus we couldn't bare the sound of Emmett throwing up in the bathroom any longer.

Edward didn't hesitate to laugh on the way over here, cocky grin on his face. "Your dad can't read minds, can he?" he asked, clearly amused.

I arched my brow. "No...why?"

He snickered as he licked his lips. "Just wanted to make sure he wasn't going to see the images that have played constantly in my head."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, fighting back a grin. "Images?"

"You know," he gestured with his hands in a circle motion as he stopped at the red light. "Of me making love to you... One important time last night, and three more times today..."

I turned my face away from him, feeling too giddy and girly to hold a straight face. "No, he can't read minds. Thank God."

Charlie inspected Edward's expression, and I snapped my fingers in front of their faces, to snap him out of it. "Dad?"

"Sorry!" He jerked his face toward me, soaking in my expression. Then he looked back toward Edward. "What did I tell you, Edward? It's Charlie. Not Chief Swan, not Sir."

Edward nodded. "Yes s- er, Charlie."

I held my laugh back as I wrapped my arm around his waist. "Dad, can we sit, or do you have company coming over or something?"

"No, no, sit, please."

I pulled Edward along the tiny room and plopped down on the couch. "Ahh, so what have you been doing today?"

Charlie took his residence on his favorite plush recliner. "Just watching the game."

"Who is playing?" Edward asked, relaxing into the atmosphere like he's been here a million times before. Typical Edward. Easy to adjust.

"The Red Sox."

Edward groaned, covering his face with his hands. "God, help you. I'm sorry you're torturing yourself that way."

"Not a sox fan?"

Edward smirked. "Not even if they were the last team on Earth."

Edward and Charlie sunk into a deep conversation about the best teams in baseball history, while I sat quietly and ran my fingers along his warm palm. It amazed me to find the love of my life, who's also a human, talking so comfortably with my other protector, a police chief, otherwise known as my father. And a vampire... And the relaxed expression on Edward's face almost confused me, since he just took my virginity - me willing, of course - mere hours before this.

But oh, if Charlie only knew what was playing in both of our heads behind his back. The scars would be permanent. Even for me.

After two boring hours of baseball games and the interrogation of Dad asking Edward about his plans for his life, what he likes about me, what his intentions are - smirk - with his daughter, so on so forth, I ordered a pizza for Edward for dinner.

Charlie watched him in amazement as he ate the large, stuffed crust, double supreme by himself.

"What?" Edward smirked, too adorably for his own good. "I'm a growing man."

Charlie busted out laughing, throwing his head back against the recliner. "Better food than pot, I guess."

Edward chuckled. "Agreed."

After he finished eating and went to use the bathroom, I decided to pull Charlie in the kitchen for a father-daughter discussion.

"Hey Dad, is it all right if Edward stays over tonight? That way we can just ride to school together tomorrow?" Charlie raised an suspicious eyebrow at me, so I figured I needed to explain myself better. "See, Carlisle and Esme are out of town, and I don't feel that comfortable leaving Edward by himself, with the whole Victor situation under our noses."

Charlie sighed, hands on hips. "Bella, I told you not to worry about Victor being around here. I shouldn't have even told you, if I would have known this was how you were going to react. You have nothing to fear with Victor. He most likely doesn't even know we're here."

"But Dad, he's here. That's all it takes to make me worried. I love Edward, so I want to make sure we protect him. I mean, isn't that your job, to protect the innocent?"

Charlie slouched his shoulders. "You love him?"

I nodded. "Yes. More than I should, I am aware of that. But regardless, it's true, and like I told you before, there's no turning back that emotion now."

Charlie squinted his eyes, studying me more. "You know this could end bad, Bella..."

I swallowed hard, inhaling deep. "I'll do what it takes."

He nodded, thinking again. "Well... does Edward love you too?"

"Yes."

He snapped his eyes at me, most likely not expecting me to answer so quick. "How serious are you guys?"

Edward walked in at that moment, then froze in the doorway when Charlie gawked at him. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Do you love my daughter, Edward?" There was no beating around the bush with Charlie.

Edward nodded. "More than my life, Charlie."

Charlie shook his head. "Knowing what we - Bella and I - are, could complicate things if you two don't work out. People could find out. We would have to leave. Plus, her being... her, and you being a young human boy... I just..." He sighed. "I'm worried."

I walked over to Edward, winding my arm tight around his waist. It was time to break out the big guns, spoken very rarely between Charlie and I. "Dad, I love you. You know I do. And I love Edward. You guys are all I have in this world. And Edward and I are going to work out. He's permanent in my life, Dad. He said it himself. And he would never expose us, regardless."

Charlie looked at Edward. "Is this true?"

He nodded, rubbing my arm. "Absolutely."

Charlie took an unsteady seat at our new kitchen table. "Well..." he thought, rubbing his face hard. "If this is what you want, then I suppose I can try to adjust to it."

I squealed, squeezing Edward tight.

"But!" Charlie shouted, standing back to his feet and raising a finger. "Don't think this is going to be easy. You guys are going to have to make multiple sacrifices for each other, things you can never imagine. I want you to know what you're getting yourselves into, the both of you. Never forget who you are in this relationship. Never forget that Bella could always snap, and hurt you, Edward."

Edward shook his head, holding me against his chest. "I understand what you're saying, Charlie. We'll never forget, but we won't dwell on our differences, either."

Charlie nodded in defeat. "So be it then. But Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Separate rooms tonight."

I snickered. "Yes, Dad."

Edward was peacefully kept downstairs on the pull out couch. I couldn't help but want to be down there with him.

I felt uneasy when I wasn't with him. It tortured me.

The one thing that sucks about your Dad being a vampire and not needing to sleep? You cannot sneak downstairs and see your boyfriend very sucessfully. I tried three times to get down the steps to him after three this morning, but since Charlie can see through walls, I didn't even make it to the banister on the wall before he called, "Bella, bedroom."

Then I tried to crawl quietly on the floor, but he noticed me again. "Bedroom, Bella."

Then I tried to pretend like I was going to the bathroom. No change.

A growl escaped from my lips. "Why do I need to be in my bedroom?" I asked in a voice that sounded more like a two year old pouting. "It's not like I sleep."

"Yeah, but he does."

The third time, I tried to sneak out my bedroom window, but again, he knew it before I even got the window open.

"Technically, I am over a hundred and seven years old!" I cried, stomping my feet on the ground like a child, which wasn't helping me prove my point. "I think I can have a boy in my room if I choose."

He sighed through his bedroom door. "Over my dead body, which may take awhile. Besides, you may be older physically, but definetly not with your temper tantrums. You are still a seventeen year old girl to me, and that means: you guessed it. No boys in the bedroom."

I was defeated, officially, and silently cursed my fathers abilities for most of the night. I tried to keep myself busy, playing solitaire, reading, or surfing the internet like I used to do before Edward came into my life. Nothing distracted me enough. So then I gave in and went through my outfits Rosalie and Alice helped me purchase this past weekend, figuring I might as well show up at school with my new attitude and enjoy the students freaking out.

I settled for a pair of low waisted blue jeans, and a curve-fitting, cleavage showing, v-neck blue shirt that had sleeves ending just past my elbows. Then, as Alice instructed, I wrapped a gold belt around the top of the shirt, and matched with gold heels. I felt a bit awkward, seeing as I spent more time getting ready today then the rest of my high school career combined, but I wanted to look good today. I wanted Edward to still think I was beautiful. And I wanted to be able to stand next to him and look like I deserved to be there. Whether or not I myself felt was true or not. Because if I were being completely honest with myself, no one was good enough to stand next to Edward.

That's just how life is. No sense in denying it.

After applying makeup - which included cursing as I poked myself in the eye multiple time with the stupid mascara wand - and some shine stuff to my hair so I could blow dry it upside down, teasing like Rosalie showed me, it was finally six o'clock. Now I could breathe again, knowing I was allowed to go downstairs and see my angel without Charlie barking orders at me.

I took a deep breath to relax my over excited nerves, walked out my bedroom, and galloped down the stairs. The couch was unoccupied and folded back together, with covers neatly stacked on one cushion, below the two pillows. I heard pans and dishes clanking in the kitchen, and strolled in there to find Edward, dressed for school all ready, digging through our cabinets.

He turned around when I entered, an adorably confused expression on his face. "Good morning, my love. Hey, why do you have groceries here?"

"Good morning," I laughed. "We have them to keep up appearances."

"Oh... That makes sense." He shrugged and turned around. "If it is all right, I'll just make me some eggs?"

I nodded. "Eat all of it, if you want. It's not like it'll harm us any."

He nodded in agreement, making himself breakfast. It amazed me how quickly he cooked. It took me a good hour almost to figure out that you cannot place eggs in the microwave, and cannot cook them on the stove with the white shell around it. He was like a professional!

I enjoyed watching him cook, staring mostly at his backside. He wore faded denim jeans that hung loose to his legs but fit his butt beautifully. A white t-shirt with a dark blue, long-sleeved one over it, sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His hair was fixed in a perfect bronzed mess of perfection, and I could smell his minty scent from upstairs.

I sighed, placing my chin in my hand as I watched him, trying to thank all my lucky stars in my head.

Once he ate and took his seat across from me at the table, he smiled, staring intensely in my eyes. "You look extremely beautiful."

I beamed. "Thank you. It took me all night to look like this. You don't think I look like a poser?"

He chuckled, leaning the chair back on two legs. "Not at all. The guys are going to be so jealous of me." He winked at me. "Like always, when I have you next to me."

I bit the inside of my lip. "You're sweet."

"You're stunning."

"Good morning," Charlie strolled in the kitchen, wearing his uniform. I couldn't help but notice his gun strap not fastened, and I'm sure Edward did too. Fathers, I sighed.

"Are you excited to head back to work and hang out with your good buddy, Jim?" I asked sarcastically.

Charlie eyed me down. "Funny. Shut up and go to school."

"Tou shay," I giggled as Edward and I rose to our feet. Edward said his polite thank you's and we grabbed our bags, heading out to the cars. "Which one would you like to take?" He asked me, eyebrows arched.

"Uh, let's take yours. All the girls seem to love yours more. And I'll love seeing their faces when I get out of it with you."

He chuckled, opening the door for me. "You're so evil."

"I know."

We drove to school in silence, only smiling to each other every two seconds and holding hands. It was nice to be able to not talk, but still tell each other everything with our eyes. No conversation felt necessary at the time.

But when we pulled into the crowded parking lot, I couldn't help but feel giddy watching all the girls staring at his car. I heard all too well their many conversations in the halls, talking about how perfect Edward was, and how they all wanted to be in the backseat of that car with him.

Yet, it was me who graced the passenger seat. I smiled to myself when he parked, allowing Emmett's personality to wash over me. This is fucking great!

"Ready to conquer all?" He asked enthusiastically as he opened his door. Before I could answer, he walked around and opened my door for me, smug expression on his face as he licked his lips. It seemed as everyone in the entire courtyard paused to see who he was opening the door for, through the darkly tinted windows. I couldn't help but eat the stuff up as I climbed out. I had the worse possible devilish grin on my face when I noticed Julia three cars down behind Edward's back, gawking at us like she didn't expect our relationship to last this long or something. Typical high school girl. I leaned on my tiptoes and ran my fingers through his hair, giving him a warm felt kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," I whispered in his ear as I stared into her eyes. She just glowered at me as her friends strolled to her.

He threw his arm around my waist, pulling me to him and nuzzling his face into my neck. "You are very welcome," he hummed as he grazed his nose into my skin. "God, you smell so good. Mmm. I couldn't sleep well last night. I had this unhinged need to sneak upstairs and bury my face into your hair and neck, but knew Charlie would castrate me." I giggled and took his hand, allowing him to pull me to his waist, so he could throw his arm over my shoulders when we walked toward the door. "Everyone is staring at us," I said, suddenly feeling like a poser in this outfit. He leaned into our embrace, whispering in my ear. "Let them."

Edward walked us up the stairs to our lockers, greeting all his friends with nods or handshakes as he passed. But he never let me go. Just squeezed me tighter when certain people stared at me like I had two heads. Alice and Jasper were a few lockers down, talking to a few guys from the baseball team. Edward pulled me in front of him and leaned against the locker door, pinning me with his arms. "I don't know how I am going to get through this day with you in that outfit," he whispered in my ear. "I haven't even been here five minutes and it is killing me."

I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to me. "Well, there's always a janitor's closet or bathroom we can sneak into later, if you want." His eyes widened as he took an inch back. "Isabella Swan, what has gotten into you?" I smirked, rubbing his back. "You, mostly." I winked. "Plus the fact that I finally feel free to have an actual life, and I want to enjoy all the trouble I can get into while I can." He arched his eyebrows, leaning back into me. "Janitors closet, huh?" I stifled a laugh and nodded. "Feeling up for it?"

"Hmm," he pondered thoughtfully, in a joking manner. "Definetly. If it is all right with you though, I'd like to hold it off for a few hours, until I have the inablity to walk straight thanks to the fixation on your jeans." I bit my lip, pushing him away from me in a teasing manner. "Well you're welcome into them at anytime."

"Mmm," he hummed raspily with a voice that broke me at the knees. He pulled me toward him by hooking his thumb into my belt loops. He pressed his lips to mine, but didn't kiss me. Just teased. "Is that a promise?"

His sweet, hot breath scorched my face and I shivered, sliding my hands in his back pockets. "Anytime, Anywhere." I confirmed, feeling quite the naughty little school girl. Normally, this type of PDA would disgust me when I watched it happening with everyone else, but when it was going on between Edward-freakin-amazing-sex-God-and-best-kisser-ever-not-to-mention-the-most-gorgeous-angelic-human-to-ever-grace-this-planet-Cullen and myself, I had to soak up every little bit of it. I was now a sponge. A happy one. Isabella Sponge Swan. Sounded good and fititng to me.

I licked his lips and giggled as I watched his eyes widen and listened to him growl at me. "You're killing me," he spoke, still raspy. "First period is going to be a bitch."

Jasper walked over to us, seemingly amused by our lusty embrace. "Yo, dude. Ready for class?" Edward removed his lips from mine slightly, turning his face so I could press my lips to his cheek and he could eye Jasper down. "Well, I suppose so," he replied hastily, causing Jasper to giggle and look at his feet. "Don't worry," Jasper replied, hiding a sheep grin. "She'll be here when you get out."

Reluctantly, I allowed Jasper to yank Edward away from my grip, as Alice came over to me, looking chipper as ever. "I was going to wait and ask you when I had more time alone with you, but I can't help it," she gushed, moving closer to me. "You guys totally did it, didn't you?"

I pursed my lips together, trying to figure out how to deny it or tell her it wasn't any of her business. But then I realized that it was her who helped me get through the whole thing, and my smile couldn't be hidden any longer. She jumped up and down, covering her mouth with wide eyes. "I knew it, I knew it!" She shouted under her palm. "Oh my gosh, you have to write me a letter and tell me everything. Promise?"

I swallowed and nodded at her. Why not? I was living dangerous, after all. I might as well be a girl and gush a little.

English and Calculus were very strange today, with all the boys gawking at me and most of the girls throwing awkward glances or invisible daggers at my head. I wrote Alice the dang letter, skipping the vivid and too-personal-to-share details, and gave just enough that she'd be satisfied. I told her about how my plan to seduce him started, and how careful and sweet he was. Not to mention my inability to stop gushing about his several different type of crooked smiles or kissing techniques. And I had to include my most favorite part, when he put his forehead to mine to make sure I was okay. It was the best ever. Non-replaceable and genuine. Very Edward-like.

After entering third period Art, I couldn't help but notice Jessica's glum appearance as she didn't look up at me when I took my seat. Very UN-Jessica like.

"Hey Jess," I said as I placed my portfolio on my art desk. "How's it going?"

She shrugged her shoulders, continuing to scribble on the paper. "Fine."

I looked at her for a few minutes, trying to read her contorted expression, but gave in quickly when the teacher began his lecture on the importance of oil painting with a long projector drawing, before giving us our assignment, with only twenty minutes left of class to do it in.

I fidgeted as I picked the perfect shade of blue, and sighed out loud toward Jessica. "Are you all right?"

She snapped her head sideways, glaring at me. "What's with you, Bella? It seems like Edward has completely transformed you into an Julia-Barbie-Doll-Wannabee.

I furrowed my brows at my desk as I continued to draw, a bit taken back by that response. It kind of stung. "I-I'm not trying to be like that, Jess. I just wanted to step out of my shell a bit. Broaden my horizons."

She scoffed, drawing roughly on her paper. "I'm sure Edward's all ready done that for you," she mumbled to herself, to where no other human would be able to hear her, including me, if I were one. I sighed, ignoring that comment.

After a few minutes, she spoke again, voice still angry. "You're not you anymore, Bella. You're freakin' showing up at baseball games with those two girls in a stupid slutty outfit, you barely speak to us in the halls anymore, you are always with him these past few months. I heard you got into a fight with Julia, who by the way, ended up putting your name in the school paper for hostility at the game Saturday night. And on top of all it, you're making out hardcore in the school hall with the school's hottest freaking guy in history, which is so un-Bella like, and you act like you're one of them!"

I dropped my oil crayon, glaring over my right shoulder at her. "What in the hell does that mean?" I gritted my teeth at her.

She squared her shoulders, turning in my direction. "You know what it means Bella. Everyone is talking about it. Edward Cullen is not someone who just dates the casual girl. He fucks girls. Sluts. Like Ashley Gwinn. And now, it is apparent that you're turning into one of them. Angela couldn't even recognize you Saturday night. Isn't she supposed to be your best friend? Or have you forgotten about her too?"

I stared at her in disbelief, trying to figure out when the hell she became so observant in my life. "Geesh, Jess, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you liked Edward or something."

Her eyes locked up and she looked back to her desk hastily. "Liked is the past tense..."

Now it was my turn to scoff at her. "What are you talking about?"

She glared at me again, as if I were the scum on the earth. "Let's just say that before you two got too close, Edward and I did first."

I jerked my shoulders back, my mouth hanging open. "You're lying."

"Am I? Don't you find it rather odd that I knew that much about him from the start?"

I felt a forbidden ache in my chest, shaking my head at her. "I know you're lying. You said that you heard all that stuff through rumors in the halls. Through gossip."

"Oh wake the fuck up, Bella!" she spat through her teeth, not caring that we were catching student's attention around us. "You're so naive. So innocent. I knew about him before school even started! That's when I found out all that information. We hung out, went to the movies. I showed him around, introduced him to some people. But I didn't want the school to think I was a typical whore to go after the new player of the school, so I said a little white lie, to hide it until I knew what was going on with Edward and I, which is now apparently nothing, since you and your fake attitude, slutty wardrobe, and teased hair stepped into the picture."

I couldn't speak as my hands trembled against the desk. She's lying, she's lying, she's lying.

"What, you think I didn't like him?" she asked sarcastically. "Everyone here knew, Bella. I mean, I have four classes with him. Not to mention...-" she cut herself off as she dug her cell phone out. She pushed several buttons and then shoved the phone in my face. "- this text message he sent me, asking me if I was going to his practice and meet up with him later. Oh yeah, and that is his phone number, which he programmed himself."

I shook my head, still unable to process what she was saying.

"Yes!" she glared at me. "He even told Ashley to ask me if I was going to Mike Newton's party that night about three months back. You know, the one you so casually took him to? He asked me to be there with him, Bella! Me! And then, when you left the party, I was the one who nursed him back to health. I was the one who took care of him, who danced with him, who took him home. And then you were gone for a whole week and a half with your Dad in the mountains, I was the one who hung out by his locker. He even walked me to my classes."

I was trembling uncontrollably now. I felt so uneasy, so confused. Why wouldn't Edward tell me about Jessica, if he liked her? Or did she just get the wrong impression of his generosity? Just like Julia did? Why wouldn't Alice or Rosalie or anyone else tell me about her, if they knew about this?

"And to top things off," she spoke lower, more bitter. "I thought you and I were friends. And last time I checked, friends don't do that to girls when they like someone."

I looked up at her, almost shamefully through my lashes. "Jess," I sneered softly at her. "I had no idea you liked him."

"Yeah well it's too late now. You love him, remember? You're wearing his fucking ring."

I swallowed hard, raising my chin. "Yes. I love him."

She smirked, shaking her head. "Figures. I should have known you'd be like this. So shy and closed up for so many years, and then BANG! One night with Edward Cullen and it changes everything. Well, welcome to the club."

I stared at the clock in protest, waiting for this minute and a half to pass so the bell would ring. My voice trembled as I spoke the uttering words. "Did you guys... do anything?"

Jessica raised her head to look at me in silence for a few moments as she shuffled her stuff into her art bag. "Oh you know. The same stuff you've done with him by now, I'm sure."

The bell rang and I shook my head, trembling in my seat as everyone filed out, including her. Then I glared at my art project, recognizing the happy couple in it. The woman seemed so safe, wrapping her arms around his waist as he pressed his cheek to her head. A white, unrecognizable three story house was in the right corner behind them, with a "SOLD" sign gleaming in the background. Their first purchase, I assumed. Not like the one they have now. Another couple was turned facing the other way, pointing toward the house. I didn't recognize them, just the one that stood in front view. And there was a lake to their right.

"Carlise and Esme," I sighed as I folded it up and shoved in my bag. "The perfect couple. Maybe I should take some pointers."

It felt like all the weight that had been lifted off of my chest and body, all the worries and confusion and armor I had lifted just a half an hour before that had been taken away as I fell in love with Edward, slowly, within these past four months, had all crashed back on me with full force.

I trembled as I tried to turn the combination of my locker, unsuccessful after several attempts. I felt a warm hand touch my back, and I jerked away from it and turned around.

"Rosalie," I sighed, dropping my books and hugging her tight. I had no idea why I was reacting this way, but I suddenly felt the urge to just be held. I needed someone. Anyone to help me. To soothe me. Her arms wrapped around my waist as she cradled my head on her shoulder. "Are you okay, Bella?" she asked concerned. When I shook my head against her skin, she just grabbed my hand and pulled me into the closest girls bathroom, shoving a trash can under the door handle.

I slouched against the wall, my shirt rising as I lowered to my butt. I cradled my head in my fingers, panting into my lap. "Rosalie," I gasped heavily. "I need you to tell me the truth, okay? It's very important." I felt her kneel beside me, her hands wrapping around my knees as she told me she would.

"Jessica Stanley?" I asked, as I pulled my face up to look her in the eyes. "With Edward?"

She stared blankly into my eyes for a few moments then nodded, as if she didn't understand the question.

"Was Edward a virgin before me?" I spit out at her, unable to hold it back any longer. "Or is he a player? Did he hook up with Jessica fucking Stanley?"

Rosalie shook her head, her curly locks flowing around her shoulders and my legs. "He didn't sleep with Jessica, Bella. I promise you that."

"How do you know?" I shouted as I leaned forward, frustration taking me over. "How do you know that he didn't do it, Rosalie? Does he report to you about this stuff?"

Rosalie yanked my hands down from my hair, and pulled me to my knees in front of her. "Listen to me, Bella. I swear to you with my whole heart. Edward didn't have sex with her. They went out on a couple casual friendly dates, that's all. I think he did it out of pity or something."

I shook my head. "But why didn't he tell me? She just gave me this whole guilt trip about how I basically stole him away from her or something?"

"Bella that's insane!" she shouted, gripping my face in her hands. "Are you crazy? Oh my God, no. Not at all! Bella, please listen to me. Edward has only been with one female, heart and soul, and that's you. Do you understand me? That boy is crazy for you, has been since the day he first laid eyes on you when you showed him his locker. He's hooked, Bella. I'm talking about insanity, one hundred percent in love."

I shook my head, rubbing my face and probably smearing the makeup on it. "It just caught me off guard. I shouldn't have really expected Edward to lie to me, I guess. I-I just... It felt so real, when she said it."

She giggled, giving me a brief hug before wiping her fingers under my eyes to fix the smears. "Oh Bella. You're such a typical, silly, uncoordinated, beautiful, insecure human girl."

I sighed as that one single word sunk over my body.

After a few more minutes, I picked myself off the ground and adjusted my outfit. "Oh Rosalie," I muttered under my breath as she turned and removed the trash can to open the door. "If you only knew."

Fourth period sucked. There's no other way to describe it. I spent the entire hour distracted, internally pounding my head about how stupid I could be to ever think that Edward wouldn't tell me the truth about that. He was in love with me, for Christ's sakes! Whole heartedly. Permanent, as he explained. And we shared something with each other that was only meant for each other.

So why in the hell did I let Jessica Stanley, my now former friend, get to me this way? Because I'm stupid. That's why. Because I should have saw through her feeble attempts to bring me down, misunderstanding every single nice gesture Edward gave to her when I was gone.

He even explained to me several times that he thought about me when I was gone on that hunting trip, asking everyone anything he could about me. And he confessed to me that he asked me to take him to that party because he wanted to be around me.

And he said he wasn't interested in anyone else in front of his entire family the first night I met them.

God, I am such a girl. I'm typical, silly, uncoordinated, and definetly insecure.

Just not a human. Not like Edward.

I sighed as the bell rang, and drug my feet to the lunch room, where I knew he'd be waiting for me. I lingered my steps, beating myself up for not having enough faith him at that moment, when I needed to have it the most. I saw Jessica sitting with Ashley and Julia, and their entire 20-girl posse. I noticed Rosalie and Alice giggling as they looked at Rosalie's phone, and Emmett sneaking up behind them, scaring them both that they screamed and slapped him. Then I saw Jasper and Edward laughing as they entered the lunch room from the opposite door as me.

Edward looked over and saw me, his eyes lighting up with a huge crooked smile on his face. I sighed, and forced a smile back to him. I'm such a bitch, I thought to myself. He's in love with me. Forever. Why would I ever doubt that?

He jogged into the lunch room, snaking his arms around me and lifting me from the ground. "I missed you!" he shouted, spinning me in a slight circle in front of the entire student body like he just won the lottery. I buried my face into his shoulders, inhaling his scent, praying that it'd snap me back into my honeymoon state. "I missed you too." I replied gleemly. Because I felt like shit. Still.

He pulled his head back, still keeping my body against his chest and my feet suspended from the ground. "What's wrong?"

I bit my lip as I caught a glance at her on my right, glaring at me with pure hate. "Jessica Stanley!" I blubbered out, unable to fight back anymore. "She likes you! She said I was a boy stealer and a horrible friend and that I basically was a whore for dating you. She tried to tell me you had sex with her!"

Edward dropped me to my feet, cupping my face with his warm hands as his forehead crumpled. "What?" he sneered angrily.

I nodded shamefully, wondering how he couldn't be upset with me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to doubt you, it's just that all these emotions are so new to me after all these years and then I gave my body over to you so freely because I wanted to the other night, but now she's saying all this stuff and it momentarily went straight through my head and I believed it, but I didn't mean to, I just let it get to me because I thought she was my friend, and then I felt like a horrible friend, and I didn't mean to doubt you, I swear. I'm sorry, I am so sorry."

I dropped my hands to my sides loosely in defeat as I looked down at his chin, unable to stare into his warm eyes anymore. "Edward," I squeaked out in exhaustion. "I'm sorry. Please don't stop loving me because of this."

He cradled my head into his chest, his heart pounding against my temple as he stroked my hair. "Bella, I am the one that is sorry. I should have told you about Jessica. I didn't feel it was necessary. She didn't mean anything to me, like that anyway. I only looked at her as someone I could know at a new school, besides my family. There were never any other feelings toward her, I swear. And I never had sex with her. I've only been with you."

I nodded against his chest, hiding my face in his shirt. I didn't care that we were the target of the lunch room. "Did you do other stuff with her?"

He inhaled deep, his hand on my back pushing me closer to him. "Just a kiss. One kiss, because I was drunk."

I looked up at him, begging him with my eyes to explain and put me out of my misery.

"It was the night of Mike Newton's party. After you left, I tried to figure out the whole accident thing, and failed miserably. I couldn't get you off my mind, not even for a single second. So she told me that she knew you well, and she could give me some pointers if I wanted to snag a girlfriend like you. We danced a couple songs after I became obliterated on Tequila, and then she said she'd drive me home so we could talk more. She walked me to my front door because I couldn't even walk straight. I was beyond gone at that point, replaying your face and the accident on repeat in my head. It was if you had put a spell on me. I never felt so passionately about anyone before... Emmett and Jessica helped me up the three flights of stairs to my bedroom so I wouldn't wake Carlisle and Esme up. Then Emmett said he'd leave us alone to 'do our thing', which I'm sure is what he thought happened. Jessica helped me change, and I was too drunk to figure out what was going on stop her. Then she covered me up, and -"

He cut himself off to sigh loudly, shaking his head in what looked like disgust.

"- and as she was doing it, the moonlight hit her dark hair a certain way, and I thought about you. So I called her "Sweet Bella," because you were on my mind, and pulled her to me so that I could kiss her. Because I thought she was you. Because every single thought in my mind from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed had you in it. So I kissed her, and she let me kiss her, let me believe she was you. But nothing else happened, I swear it. I passed out."

I felt so stupid listening to him. I felt worse by the second. And ashamed. Because it wasn't a lie, I knew better. And because he only thought about me even before we were so developed, made me feel worse and more in love with him at the same time. God love sucks.

"And," he continued softly. "You didn't show up to school that next week. So I asked about you to anyone I could, and eventually apologized to Jessica. I wanted to make it up to her for being a poor friend, so I invited her to watch a baseball practice so I could apologize in person. I had given her my number the night of the party, because she said she'd meet up with me sometime so we could discuss more about you. So I texted her, asking her if she'd come. She did and I apologized to her for being so drunk and ridiculous. I had no idea she felt that way about me. All she talked about with me was you."

I absorbed his words carefully, letting them dwell into my chest as the armor lifted right back up and off me, replacing it with a twinge of guilt for over-reacting, and a lot more love for him. "Is that why Emmett said I'd be in your bed by next week or whatever, at your baseball practice? Because he helped Jessica get you to your room and left you guys in there?"

"Yes."

I jumped up, throwing my arms around hims to hug him tight. "Please forgive me," I sighed into his ear in a demanding way. "Please, please?"

"You're forgiven," he said gently, pulling me back of the ground as the whispers grew louder behind us. "And I'm sorry too. For not telling you. I should have, but I was worried you would think I was an obsessed stalker or something. Thinking about you while that whole mess happened."

I shook my head in the crook of his neck, greedily inhaling him in. "It's okay. And you can be a stalker obsessed with me all you want. I want you to be. I want you to only be in love with me."

He placed me back to my feet, cradling me in his hands and applying the most sensual, slow, sexy kiss I had ever received by him. I melted into his body and soaked in every second of that kiss, enjoying him lingering on my tongue and my taste buds like it was a religion. I ran my fingers in his hair, pulling his face closer to mine so I could deepen the kiss more. He complied, his tongue meeting mine with the same needed force.

The entire room disappeared around us as I lingered on his kiss, never wanting it to end, never wanting to separate from him.

Then I felt a tap on my shoulder, and sighed into his mouth, pissed off that someone was ruining our moment. I dropped my hands from his neck and turned around, having the sudden need to punch the first person I saw standing behind me, whether they deserved it or not.

Julia stood there, in a jeweled jean skirt and white tank top, her hair half up, half down, beaming at me like I was her best friend. I curled my fingers into a fist, but felt Edward grasp his hand over my palm, holding me down as he jerked my back to his chest.

"Yes?" I sneered at her, impatiently.

She cleared her throat. "I wanted to apologize for the other night, and invite the happy couple to a party at my house on Friday. Call it a truce and all that?"

I glared at her for a few moments too long, causing her to stir on her feet. Edward rubbed my sides and placed his chin to my shoulder, pulling me completely against him and wrapping his arms around my waist. "That's nice of you, Julia," he said calmly. "We'll be there."

So there we go, Chapter 16! Keep the reviews and compliments/suggestions/positive feedback coming in! They are always welcome. Stay tuned!

ANSWERS TO REVIEW QUESTIONS/RESPONSES:

- Thanks to everyone who's continued to be faithful with their reviews per chapter, their positive feedback, advice, and their constructive criticism, etc. It's been amazing and so enjoyable to come home from a long day's work and see the number rise from people who enjoy the story just as much as I do! I can't say it enough: You're the best!

- Hey guys! Let me know what you're thinking is going to happen next chapter. It's half done but I'm still interested in predictions!

- Yes, I wanted Bella's first time to be awkward and a bit painful, as girl's first time usually are. I realize she is a vampire, and to some people's opinions she shouldn't be susceptible to certain elements like that, but I wanted to still give her all those human emotions possible, like pain and discomfort. I feel that in Breaking Dawn, after she was changed, she still felt all the emotions the same, and was still Bella, instead of a crazed typical newborn. So I wanted to envelope in that and make it more my own, creating her the allowance of pain though she's a vampire. Why not, right? That's what's fun about making it your own. Anything is possible! So I hope you guys are okay with me doing that.

- Yes, we have another art picture to break apart! Makes you wonder who the couple is behind them, doesn't it? Hmm.. And I hope you enjoyed the Jessica bit. I had to get it out, I've been dying to put that twist in it for awhile now!

- I've done a complete and final outline with this story, and decided against doing a sequel for now. There's just so many other Edward/Bella stories that are creeping up in my head and taunting me at this moment. Some full of angst and humor and sex, others being more tragic and heart-wrenching. So I hope that you all will continue to stay with me after The Search For Myself, and see what else I have in store for you. I enjoy being able to grow and learn because of you, my readers/reviewers, and really hope to make some lasting friendships with you guys if you stick around. So please do! *begs*

- The Search For Myself will approximately have a total of 23-25 Chapters. Depending on my control to go into large amounts of detail.

- IF I MISSED SOMEONE'S QUESTION, I TRULY APOLOGIZE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I WILL ANSWER IT ASAP!

Sincerely, Angela.