Cradle of Blood – chapter 22 – “I’m not going to lose you tonight.”

Pairings: Zero x Kaname. Some Kaname x Zero also, and a few secondary pairings.
Warnings: AU. Sex slavery, prostitution, mature themes and lemons from time to time.

This is AU, so Zero grew up as a hunter in the notorious Kiryuu clan, was never bitten and didn’t go through the trauma of being turned into a vampire.

Ahh, finally this chapter is here! D:
So sorry for the huge delay with this chapter, I’ve been full of deadlines and stuff lately, and had family over for a while too, which was lovely but resulted in having even less little time left for writing. But now I’m here. XD;

Also, so sorry for my usual horrible delay in catching up with review replies. :X I’m not sure when it will be possible to reply, but I do appreciate immensely all your kind reviews, and they motivate me SO MUCH to sit down and update. :DD So thank you~~! *hearts*
Especially the lovely lengthy ones, so please don’t apologize when you do one! XD It’s absolutely lovely! XD *lol*

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By the time the pureblood mustered the resolve to come out of the bathroom and face his fears, Zero was already dry and wearing his pants and shoes already. His battle gear was gathered in an organized little pile, strapped together and ready to go, and the hunter was in the process of starting to rewrap his wounded chest with fresh bandages he’d taken from the first aid supplies he’d been carrying on himself during the hunt, as was standard for hunters on missions, and of which he’d already used about half of it when he did the field dressing for the wound.

Kaname lingered by the entry of the bathroom, still wrapped in his towel, and watched the hunter in silence for a few moments, shuddering a little as his damp hair stuck to the sides of his neck and dripped down his still heated skin.
Unsure what to say or do, he settled for awkwardly waiting for a command that never came. His eyes wandered over the room, taking in the hunting gear and the shirt and jacket thrown over the back of the chair next to the standing hunter. From the clothes and gear as well as from Zero’s hurried body language, there was no doubt that the man was intent on leaving anytime now.

Regardless of the inevitable fear of what Zero himself might do to him if he stuck around for very long, Kaname always loathed the moment when the hunter would leave, each time. But now everything seemed so much more ominous than usually, because instead of it being the usual departure, this night was such a distinct break from normalcy.
Not just because of what had happened in the shower, and which still had Kaname’s knees shaking in apprehension mixed with intense arousal and pleasure, but because the little ‘sorry’ that Zero had whispered into his ear felt more like a parting salute than anything else.

Much as it may contradict all that Kaname had expected and feared from Zero until now, the pureblood wasn’t sure whether the hunter would ever return, if he let him go now.

And so, when Zero’s hand reached for the bloodied shirt over the back of the chair, Kaname’s eyes widened and he took a hesitant step forward, a different fear finally winning over his original one.

“Ah… are you leaving, Kiryuu-sama…?”

Zero smiled at him with an embarrassed look, but it was obvious that his mood from earlier in the shower was completely dead. “Uhm, yeah… I thought I might as well not be here right now…”

The ominous feeling Kaname had been struggling with intensified tenfold, pushing the pureblood to take a course of action he might otherwise not have dared to in the present situation. He inched forward some more, closing the distance between them even though he didn’t dare touch the other yet, and he whispered a trembling plead. “Please… Kiryuu-sama, please… don’t leave…”

The brunet’s face burned, not from the pride he had already long lost over the years, but because he was so utterly certain that he would be hit for his insolence in asking something like that. Handlers and customers alike had long taught him that actually asking for anything –demand or request, it was inevitable either way— was a sure way of getting a beating regardless of how justified your need was. Vampires were there to service others’ needs, not the other way around, never.
And if it was a matter of asking for something non-justified, then the punishment could only be even worse. Kaname was so certain Zero would hit him that he could practically feel the blow as if it was already stinging on his face.

With any other person, he knew better than dare voice such a wish, whether in a request format or even as a plead. But Kiryuu-sama was so different… so different, and yet… yet…

To Kaname’s surprise, the slap or the punch that he’d been bracing himself for never came, and instead, Zero’s fingers caressed the brunet’s cheek softly, pulling some of the brown tresses out of the way, tucking them behind the delicate shell of his ear, before sliding down to his chin in a fluid caress that sent butterflies fluttering through the pureblood’s stomach.
Zero cupped the brunet’s chin in his hand, tilting his head back gently, to make the pureblood look at him. As he’d guessed from the sound of Kaname’s voice, the vampire’s eyes were shining with renewed moisture that he couldn’t conceal at the moment, and his face had that irresistibly adorable yet so painfully sad look and flushed cheeks that the hunter had grown so used to seeing on him, and that made him want to hold Kaname tight and shoo away all his worries.

But that was also precisely why he wanted to leave right now. Because he’d become one of Kaname’s worries. Because he couldn’t trust himself to stay here and not do something stupid that would make the pureblood lose even more of whatever trust he might have in him.
Not that Kaname hadn’t always been afraid of him to begin with, but… Zero still felt like he’d broken something, earlier in the bathtub. He’d crossed a line he’d promised himself he wouldn’t cross without Kaname’s permission. He’d assumed the pureblood wanted it too, but… he’d assumed wrong, clearly. The least he could do was remove himself from Kaname’s sight for now, before he let himself get carried away and caused anymore damage.

And yet, it seemed that the pureblood was the one who didn’t want to let him go, contrary to all of Zero’s –once more, in classical hunter fashion due to his upbringing and life, quite black-or-white— logic. Kaname’s apprehensive yet needy-looking expression puzzled the hunter.

“Kaname, why don’t you want me to leave…?” After what I almost did to you in the shower, can you still think I’m any better than the others?

The question was so direct that it pierced through the pureblood’s hesitations and shot straight into the fear of losing Zero, making Kaname reply quite truthfully for once.

“Because I’m so afraid… that if you leave, you might never return…”

The ‘truth’ that Kaname believed in and didn’t dare to speak of, which was the great unspoken void between them, gaped at him threatening to swallow him.
Don’t leave, because if you do, I’m afraid when you come back you will be a different person. One who won’t hesitate to make me yours by force.
It warred on equal terms with the fear he had that Zero might simply leave and never come back. A fear that all logic made seem ridiculous if Zero was really just playing a game with the purpose of breaking him late, but… after the farewell in the bathroom, Kaname didn’t know what to believe anymore, at the moment.

But he couldn’t speak of such things, of course. He believed he had to play the hunter’s game to the very end, lest those words spoken in a haste shatter whatever was left of the time they still had together. Before the game ended. Before all masks finally broke with no return. He had to enjoy what little time was left, and do all he possibly could to prolong what little he still had with the gentle hunter who may be but an illusion, but who had soothed his shattered heart more deeply than anyone before .

A tear rolled down Kaname’s face, and he chastised himself inwardly for once more not being able to keep his cool, or at least keep whatever fragments of it may be left.

Zero pulled him gently into his arms and kissed the tear away, hugging Kaname tenderly and resting his chin atop the brunet’s head. He whispered against the pureblood’s hair, “I thought you’d be scared of me, now… I thought you wouldn’t want me around.”

Kaname’s fingers were gripping the hunter’s shirt with single-minded desperation, and a sob escaped his lips. His breath trembled, coming off in warm puffs against the hunter’s chest.

The pureblood was beyond attempting to control himself and not show how much the hunter affected him, by now. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to hold this truth in even if he’d tried to anyway, and in the current situation, if showing his tears and his fears might possibly help stop the hunter from leaving, then he might as well confess it.

“I’m scared, yes… “ The confession escaped his lips hurriedly, as if it was some dreadful secret, obvious as if may be. As if giving that knowledge to the other would further cement the certainty of his doom. And yet, there was a contrasting determination in his next words. “But I’m far more scared of losing you than of having you around…”

There were of course all the things he couldn’t possibly say, words that he feared would destroy him and the last moments they had together if he were to confess them to Zero. But unlike in the past when he’d tried to fight the importance the hunter had for him, now he surrendered to the feeling, and uttered the words within himself, in a silent confession of all that he couldn’t tell Zero.

Even if you were to betray me, I wouldn’t mind, Kiryuu-sama… Just please don’t leave me alone again, please…

He gave into the sobs now, clinging to the hunter so desperately that it was as if he feared the man might vanish in an instant if he were to let go.

Zero wrapped his arms around the brunet’s heaving shoulders and held him tenderly, dropping soft butterfly kisses on his hair.

“I’m sorry, Kaname, I’m so sorry…” The hunter punctuated the words with more light kisses to the pureblood’s hair.
He may not know what thoughts were currently going through Kaname’s mind, but he realized well that he was crying for so much more than what had happened in the bathroom earlier. The hunter’s heart ached for him, for the tears he didn’t know how to begin wiping from his eyes, because he didn’t know if there was any way for him to do anything about all the causes of the tears spilling down that delicate face.

But he could at least try; he might not have all the elements of the equation but what he did know already gave him enough to try and soothe the vampire’s fears. And so, he whispered as reassuringly as he could, “I’m sorry I scared you in the bathroom. I swear that won’t happen again…”
He half regretted the ‘I swear’ he’d used instead of ‘I promise’. He’d wanted to give Kaname some mark of how deep his intentions ran, but stopped just short of further assuring him of it, feeling it might reduce the value of his words, on light of him already having broken a promise made to the brunet not that long ago. If he were to break this one, would the pureblood ever forgive him…?

Kaname’s breath was hitching with his sobs, face buried against the hunter’s chest, trying to avoid the wounded area, eyes burning with renewed tears.
How was it possible for this man’s words to sound so true and heartfelt when they could only be lies?! How was it possible for anyone to lie so convincingly that Kaname felt his heart nearly split from the urge to believe the man and the pain of knowing he couldn’t possibly trust his words?! And even now, a small part of him foolishly wanted the man to touch him once more, the way he did in the shower…!!

Kaname’s knees were shaking from instinctive fear –both of losing Zero and of what Zero might do to him if he stayed –, as well as from a mix of a need for something he wasn’t even sure he could possibly stand, and a deep anger at himself.
Anger because he wanted to believe Zero, even when he knew well that doing so was nothing short of pure folly. He knew that something horrible would inevitably happen if Zero were to follow through with what he’d been doing in the bathtub, and yet… yet… the young pureblood’s body was still tingling with desire in ways that made Kaname discover yet new meanings of the word ‘shame’.

Pulling away almost imperceptibly at first, then with more assurance once he felt the hunter’s embrace slacken to allow him to move, Kaname glanced at the bandages partially wrapped around the other’s chest, and tried to break out of the current subject, unsure whether it was the hunter or himself that he was attempting to distract. “The shower washed it all away, so it must be hurting again, no…? I could… I could lick the pain away again, if you’d like me to…”

He flushed a deeper shade of red as he finished the sentence, eyes still teary, afraid it might have sounded like he was offering to give the hunter a second blowjob. But Zero just smiled gently, blushing himself as well, and whispered “Yeah, I think I’d like that”, before starting to unwrap his bandages again.

The second session of Kaname tending to the hunter’s wounds went by a little faster than the first, and less sensually if just as awkwardly. Zero sat down on the foot of the bed, turning towards Kaname who sat next to him, and both shyly attempted to make things less difficult for each other. Kaname proceeded as thoroughly but as detachedly as he could, afraid of giving the hunter ideas –he was, after all, forced to lick all over his chest to tend to the wound, and it was hardly possible to make it completely non-sensual. Zero on the other hand, tried to get in a position that allowed Kaname to have access to the full length of the wound without having to get too close or anything. On light of the recent fiasco in the bathroom, he regretted deeply his thoughtlessness in pulling Kaname onto his lap the previous time the pureblood tended to his wound.

The hesitant shyness on both sides was such an extreme contrast with the intimacy of what had happened in the bathroom that it would have been almost comical if not for the dramatic aspect of it. Kaname self-consciously held with all he had onto the towel wrapped around his chest, covering down to the top of his thighs –not that such a small barrier could have stopped anyone, but he was intent to at least keep the more ‘interesting’ areas of his body out of sight as much as possible, to not provide unnecessary temptation— and Zero caressed the pureblood’s hair with brief and light strokes as if he was tiptoeing around hot coals, afraid to even put too much weight into his touch and possibly scare the other.

Awkwardness aside, the obvious goodwill of both sides helped slowly melt part of the ice that had formed after the bath, and little by little the agitation gave way to a more relaxed mindset, even if Kaname was still jumpy whenever Zero made a sudden movement and the hunter was still visibly burning with guilt to the point that he seemed to be careful even when breathing, to try and not scare the brunet.

Kaname finished tending to the hunter’s wound and helped him re-wrap it with the same clean bandages; the two lingered on the corner of the bed where they had sat, talking hesitantly of random nothings, both finding their own words utterly stupid as they uttered platitudes along the lines of how much length of bandages hunter first-aid kits usually carried and how nice and protective the texture of that gauze seemed to be. Zero was used to carry all manner of emergency supplies while in mission, and Kaname was quite used to being wounded and was greatly appreciative of good bandages, something he didn’t normally have access to, so the two didn’t run out of material to discuss for some time.

And then it happened naturally, neither of the two really making the decision to lay down on the bed, Zero simply not making a move to leave and Kaname not wanting to push his luck and ask that the man spend the night there, both simply leaning back on their elbows then laying down as they talked of nothing and of all, trying to find subjects of conversation and random excuses to remain longer in each other’s company.
As the two grew slightly more relaxed laying on their backs and chatting of unimportant things, the tentative intimacy that the earlier incident had shattered slowly build back up a little, although still hesitant and jumpy due to the recent fright. Kaname was still afraid of Zero leaving –or of him staying and doing something else altogether…—, and the hunter was well determined to reassure the pureblood of his intentions, and after some time they ended up rolling closer onto their sides, and finding themselves laying next to each other, face to face, babbling of random little nothings that were reassuringly unrelated to all the subjects that heavily weighted between them and that both deliberately avoided mentioning.

Zero took the initiative to caress Kaname’s arm again, and when the pureblood tensed slightly but didn’t appear openly as afraid of the contact as the hunter had feared he might be, Zero drew closer and risked putting an arm around the brunet again, breathing in the delicious scent of rose petals and sweet-scented soap coming from him. Their foreheads were almost touching now, and Kaname didn’t know what to think –he knew he should be worried and that new attempts of approaching might mean the hunter intended to continue now what he’d interrupted in the bathtub, but… with Zero so close, his breath warm and tickling his face softly, inches away from his lips… The pureblood was finding it harder and harder to think at all, and could only lean closer, feeling the blood warming his face as he blushed again.

Zero’s lips shifted almost imperceptibly forward, and Kaname’s heart skipped a beat, his eyes widening slightly and his nostrils flaring in anticipation.

Anticipation of what, he wasn’t sure.

And then, for a split second the hunter’s eyes slipped close and the muscles in his face momentarily slackened, as he fell asleep for a brief second just before jerking back awake, realizing finally just how terribly exhausted he was. He stared past Kaname’s confused face and groaned at the hour the clock was indicating.

“I… uhm, I should go, it’s really late...”

But Zero’s voice faded into a whisper, the words dying on his lips when he saw the flash of pain that showed for a brief instant in the other’s eyes.
Kaname obviously didn’t want him to leave, unbelievable as that may have seemed after what had happened earlier that night. A pang of renewed guilt shot straight to Zero’s heart, the urge to comfort the pureblood coming full-force to the forefront, shoving back all the other less innocent ideas and images his mind inevitably offered at the sight of Kaname’s luscious body propped on one elbow, his curves irresistibly tempting despite being currently covered by the towel still wrapped around his body. The pureblood was looking fixedly at his face with such adorable intensity and expectancy.

Caressing the brunet’s face softly and feeling yet an additional pang of guilt when Kaname closed his sad eyes with a look of resignation but eagerly leaned into the touch anyway, Zero apologized, “I wish I could stay, but I really need to get home to sleep a bit. I’m sorry…”

Kaname shivered when the hunter’s fingers slid closer to the edge of his collar as Zero tucked a lock of the chocolate-brown hairs behind the pureblood’s ear. It wasn’t just that he was starved for the gentle touches –it was so much more, he was craving Zero’s touch so terribly much that he couldn’t possibly put it in words.

But as it was, if Zero left now by the time he got home he’d only have a very short time to rest before having to get back up and rush to the Association, exhausted and wounded or not. He really couldn’t afford to stay up all night when he was already hurt and so terribly tired. No matter how desperately he wanted to stay and try to erase what he could of the pain in those beautiful dark eyes.

The hunter got up from the bed, regret written all over his face, but before he could make a move to get his things and leave, Kaname interrupted his momentum, blurting out a most unexpected request.

“Tie me up then, Kiryuu-sama… ? Please…”

“What?!”

Zero’s mouth gaped open for a second, color quickly rushing to his face as he wondered if he’d misheard what the brunet said –and in immediate reaction, an attractive blush rushed also to Kaname’s face just as fast, when he saw clearly what was going through the hunter’s mind: A myriad of spectacularly erotic mind images of Kaname bound to the bed, that left Zero burning and trying to convince himself that he had to have misheard those words.

The pureblood was quick to clarify the matter. “…Would you mind tying me up, Kiryuu-sama…? If the problem is for you to be able to sleep here despite my presence and… despite… what we are…” The unspoken words were obvious; hunter and vampire, born enemies by nature and to all hunters a shocking thing to even just imagine sleeping in the same room. “…If you have me in shackles and wearing a gag, there’s no problem, right…? I would… I would never do anything anyway, but… but with the gag, you… well, I wouldn’t be able to do anything, anyway… So you’d be able to sleep peacefully and it wouldn’t be… wrong or anything…”

The pureblood’s explanations were breaking down, the pauses in between his words growing longer and longer as whatever strength he felt his arguments may have dwindled, his confidence crumbling fast.
But Zero’s silence wasn’t due to a distaste for the suggestion but to a terrible conflict between raging hormones demanding to see Kaname tied to the bed, and his compassionate nature telling him that it was wrong, terribly wrong to tie someone up just so that he could sleep there.
Especially after the already potentially traumatic issue earlier. But it’s his idea, and if he doesn’t seems to mind that, then maybe it’s not really such a terrible thing, is it…? Zero nervously wet his lips, unsure whether his thoughts made any sense or whether was he just thinking with the wrong part of his body and making up excuses to believe it was okay to tie Kaname up to the bed.

If it had been hard enough to hold a reassuringly innocent conversation while laying next to Kaname knowing that under the thin layer of terrycloth of the towel wrapped around him, the pureblood was wearing nothing, not even his usual rather diminute bondage outfit. To imagine such a thing with the pureblood tied up as well made things even more difficult. Zero swallowed dry, settling down on the bed once more, hesitation now visible on his face as a violent dispute warred between his raging hormones and his conscience. “But… wouldn’t you mind spending the rest of the night that way?”

Even the obvious hesitation in the hunter’s voice was so much better than disgust at the request followed by a swift exit, and so the pureblood’s hope was rekindled anew. He was quick to eagerly reassure the man. “Not at all! I get… tied up a lot anyway, so … I’m, uhm… used to it.” The eagerness on his face fell considerably as he mentioned the subject of experience, because the types of situations in which he was restrained on a daily basis were so much worse than whatever he was envisioning in order to reassure the hunter that he could sleep safely. But that painful reminder didn’t dampen the brunet’s determination in the least, and he continued on a slightly more enthusiastic tone. “I… would be fine anyway, Kiryuu-sama. And that way you would get to rest sooner and for longer than if you have to go home first, and… I won’t have to put up with… with the rest of the people outside.”

That was a far trickier subject. Slaves were not supposed to mention other customers, and asking anyone to stay so they’d be spared the violence of the rest of the crowd was quite obviously a no-no. Kaname could only hope the hunter wouldn’t react to it the way any other person might.

They normally rarely ever spoke of the other customers interested in Kaname. Both generally tiptoed around the issue and kept an awkward silence over it, but it was a thought more and more present in Zero’s mind. He hated the fact that each time he stepped out of that room, he was leaving Kaname at the mercy of whatever depravities the men waiting in line downstairs wanted to inflict on him. He knew well that each time he left early, it meant yet more additional time of suffering for the beautiful pureblood. That thought made Zero stay as long as he could each night, but inevitably he always had to leave, sooner or later. His life, family, work, were all outside the ‘house’, while Kaname was inevitably locked in that place.

But maybe just tonight we can ignore it for a little…

When Zero just nodded uncertainly and didn’t object further, Kaname rushed to get the necessary items out of the drawer in the nightstand next to the bed, afraid the hunter might change his mind if he was too slow.

Within moments, the brunet was back on the bed, advancing to the middle of it on his knees before sitting back on his heels, a sturdy ball-gag in hand and a few leather restraints with metal buckles at the ends hanging over his forearm. He’d already put back on the leather shackles he normally wore on his wrists and ankles, and that had been removed for the bath. The collar with the symbol of the ‘house’, indicating their ownership over him, was still firmly in place around the pureblood’s bruised neck.

Showing the restraints to Zero with a half-broken hopeful look that spoke of years of brutality and desperation, Kaname explained, “With this, Kiryuu-sama, you’ll be able to sleep without feeling like you’re doing anything… that you don’t want to do as a hunter or anything…like that.”

His persuasion abilities were far from being what they’d have been if he’d grown up in a normal pureblood’s life, and since a visual explanation was so much more comprehensible than his hesitant words, Kaname opened his mouth to set in place the ball-gag and strapped it tightly to the back of his head, before tilting his face from side to side to demonstrate to the hunter that he was securely muzzled and completely harmless.

Then again, due to the anti-vampire drugs, Kaname most likely wouldn’t have had the strength to harm Zero or even break skin if he’d tried to bite him anyway, and if he did try to harm Zero, the hunter would have been awake and in condition to exact great bodily harm any time he so wished, so both Kaname and him knew well that this was not truly the issue. If Zero never slept there it was in a way more for Kaname’s protection than for his own, because of what the house would have done to the brunet if he even just tried to bite a hunter and they found out somehow.
That and and on a deeper level it was a matter of principles and of a moral taboo; because of the fact it was inacceptable for a hunter to be asleep with a vampire roaming around nearby, rather than because of any actual real danger that Kaname might present.

But as long as Kaname was restrained, Zero would be able to sleep next to him without infringing the taboo –too much, at least.
And so, the pureblood quickly secured together the shackles on his ankles with one of the shorter leather restraints he’d brought to the bed, and then buckled a second one of them onto a D-ring on the shackle around his left wrist, before putting his arms behind his back and letting himself fall onto his side on the bed, indicating with a nod to the hunter that everything was in place: All Zero had left to do was finish attaching the same restraint to Kaname’s other wrist, and then use the longer leather strap to attach the brunet’s ankles and wrists together and then to one of the many metal rings that ran along the frame of the bed and that the hunter had noticed before when Kaname pulled the coverlet aside to reveal them. With that, the pureblood would be able to stay laying down on the bed with some slack between the bed frame and his tied body, but he would be effectively immobilized with his hands behind his back and his ankles tight together, so he could hardly be considered a threat in any way, even to someone asleep. Not that a drugged slave could represent a threat to begin with, but that was beside the point.

The sight of Kaname on his side on the bed, his pale skin deliciously flushed here and there in a most attractive manner, the dark leather contrasting with it distinctly and making the whole picture even more appealing, played cruel games with the hunter’s control. The towel around Kaname was still holding in place, but the corner of it had flipped to the side as he laid down, and the spot where both ends of the towel parted revealed a little more of the top of Kaname’s thigh, as if it was begging for Zero to pull it further and unwrap it all. Furthermore, with his ankles shackled together and his hands partially so also and already behind his back, and with those hesitant eyes darting worried looks up to the hunter’s face and then back to the bed again, Kaname was absolutely irresistible, so perfect and deliciously offered for the taking.

Zero turned a deep red and then very pale, fighting a dreadful struggle with the intense urge to just pin the delicate brunet to the mattress a little further and claim his body right then and there. The voice of lust in his mind whispered unforgivable little things about how the pureblood was gagged and wouldn’t even be able to cry out, outrageously suggesting that the guilt of hearing his cries in the middle of it shouldn’t even be a distraction. Zero angrily shoved such unacceptable thoughts to the back of his mind –although he had to admit that even dismissing the horrible aspect of it, it was undeniable how much of a perfect picture of temptation Kaname presented offered that way on the bed— and advanced to finish strapping the brunet to the bed frame, moving almost like an automaton, his body and mind at odds about what he should do (leave as fast as he could) and what he was indeed doing (tying the pureblood to the bed , much to his own shock), until he realized that for better or for worse, he’d finished securing the restraints to the bed.

Kaname was at his mercy, even more fully than before. If there was ever a test of virtue and self-control, this was it.

Zero was glad for the position he was in, with a leg drawn up a little, and which prevented Kaname from seeing the raging boner the hunter was now sporting, against his best intentions. His heart was racing, but the initial moment passed, he noticed that Kaname’s one was even more agitated. The pureblood had closed his eyes to hide the fear obvious in his gaze, apparently picking up on the origin of the other’s turmoil, and resigning himself to whatever horror may happen to him any time now. The instant Zero realized that, it was as if a cold wave had slammed against him, guilt and shame putting out completely the fire that lust had awakened lower down his body. It was one thing to suffer his own mind providing him with the most obscene suggestions, but it was a whole other thing to have Kaname notice this and think he was about to truly jump him.
Zero burned with embarrassment and gingerly caressed the side of Kaname’s face, wiping off the droplets of perspiration that worry had made rise to the surface of his skin, before pulling up the coverlet over the brunet’s body, being careful not to further disturb the towel around him.

The pureblood opened his eyes in surprise as he felt the weight shift on the bed, then Zero switched off the lights and came back to lay next to him, covering them both and pulling Kaname closer, into a chaste and protective embrace. The fact that the pureblood was perfectly tied up meant the hunter & vampire taboo didn’t apply, at least in Zero’s eyes, and that meant there was no reason for them to sleep far apart, but Kaname was still surprised.

The brunet hadn’t expected Zero to hold him so gently, especially after he’d been so certain that his idea had backfired horribly. He melted into the embrace with almost as much repressed delight as shy hesitancy.
Zero’s arms around his shoulders, the hunter’s broad chest, everything radiated warmth and a sense of safety that, whether it was well-founded or not, were all things Kaname both craved and desperately needed on a deeply instinctual level. And while Kaname spent the first many minutes listening to the sound of his own heart thudding loudly against his ribcage in the silence of the dark room, after a while the wonderfully reassuring scent of Zero’s skin allied with the soft little kisses the hunter occasionally pressed against his hair made the brunet slowly stop shivering as much and end up finally slipping into sleep, ironically before Zero did so himself.

Listening to the sound of the silence in the room, only interrupted by their own little noises or the sounds of things farther away outside of the room, Zero pondered on how unexpected life could be, and how terribly fragile and precious the life of the person in his arms was.
Even though the rooms were perfectly soundproof, you could vaguely hear things in the corridor, or the occasional muffled sound farther away in another room, generally a scream or the noise of something hitting a wall or something, denoting the violence other customers tended to use against the slaves. The idea of those people touching Kaname that way –or any way at all, more and more— seemed increasingly inacceptable to Zero.
Not that it had ever seemed ‘acceptable’ per se in Zero’s eyes, but before it was a matter of thinking it immoral on a theoretical level, while with each day that passed it became more and more a visceral repulsion that was far more personal.

He should perhaps have asked himself once more whether it was wise to develop such possessiveness towards a vampire, and a slave bound to a brothel at that, but he’d asked himself such things far too often to no avail, and the question was as unhelpful as ever.
Regardless of what he should or should not feel as a hunter, he was undeniably attached to this person whose hair he was gently kissing as he held him in his arms.

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What was left of the night was far from being the most peaceful one. Zero slept a restful but often interrupted sleep, his body having lost the habit to sleep with someone in his arms since Ichiru and him had ceased to do so a few years earlier. But every time Zero woke up to regain his bearings, shift a little and fall back asleep, he found that Kaname was curled up next to him shivering, his skin cold and covered in a sheen of perspiration as the brunet was the prey of incessant nightmares.

Zero wasn’t sure whether he was in part the cause of those nightmares or not, but he’d already seen that Kaname had such issues the previous times he’d watched him sleep, and so he tried as well as he could to soothe him and make his sleep less troubled, whether or not he was to blame for his restlessness.

Sleep may have claimed the pureblood, but the diverse worries plaguing his mind still made it stray towards different worrisome paths even as his body tried to rest. It continued in the form of erratic dreams of a most disquieting nature. Some were more peaceful dreams, but the majority were far from that, and involved the hunter raping him with different levels of brutality – occasionally with Kaname himself partially enjoying the act as well, against his best hopes— while other moments had the settings being completely dark and devoid of even that humiliating pleasurable element.

What would have happened if Kiryuu-sama hadn’t mysteriously stopped, back in the bathtub…?

Kaname was still shaken by the recent events, and it was only normal that his mind would focus on them, reliving it in his sleep and coming up with a thousand different scenarios. The scent of the hunter all around him was both a blessing and a curse, soothing him in many ways but also frequently reminding him of the previous hours, making the sleeping brunet felt completely wrapped in the intriguing silver haired man’s presence, something that in his dreams translated one moment into being cradled protectively, and in another being trapped without escape.

On one moment, the dream Zero was pressing Kaname down onto the bed, claiming his lips in a kiss so mind-blowing that the pureblood trembled against him like a leaf in the wind, arms wrapped around the hunter’s neck, soft gasps escaping him as the man claimed him and he parted his lips to welcome the sweet invasion, surrendering utterly to the delightful onslaught of emotion and sensations, regardless that such a powerful feeling was coming from a mere kiss. His legs wrapped around the hunter’s waist and he came undone, the kiss and the rest of their bodies merging into something only dreams could create.

And on the next moment, the dream turned darker. The pureblood found himself pinned over the hard edge of the bathtub, crying and begging the man, although uncertain of what he was begging for as he didn’t dare to ask him to stop, terrified as he may be. Reality and dream weaved together and Zero –the nightmare version of him now— plowed the brunet’s body hard and relentless, driving his arousal into him brutally enough to tear him open, unrepenting and without hesitation. Kaname begged and cried more, but all he got in response were harder thrusts slamming his already bruised body against the side of the bathtub, and Zero’s laughter, cruel and distorted now. The pureblood’s sobs suffocated him, the part of his consciousness that might have believed Zero wouldn’t act that way not so sure of that idea anymore, something that naturally did little to reassure Kaname in his sleep.

The dream changed many times, but it inevitably returned to the same dreaded themes. Kaname found himself bound by heavy chains, Zero throwing him on the ground and pressing his head down under the heel of his boot, laughing and gloating about how much the brunet was foolish to have left himself so wide open for a hunter of all things. How everything that was happening to him now was his fault, because of how stupid he’d been to trust his natural enemy so much. And how much that mistake would now cost him.

The pureblood tossed around in bed, small droplets of sweat forming on his forehead, flushed lips straining around the gag forcefully holding them apart. What noise the gag let him make was an incoherent mix of soft little muffled whimpers of pain and fear mingled together, uttered in his sleep.
It didn’t help either that the restraints didn’t leave him the chance to move much and as such, his unconscious mind automatically reacted as if he was still bound by a customer, something that happened far too often, and that fueled his nightmares all over again whenever his consciousness neared the surface enough to realize his body was still bound.

As it was often the case when he had nightmares of that nature –a sadly frequent occurrence due to the life he was made to live—, Kaname instinctively tried to draw his arms and legs closer to his body on the bed, as if the curled up position could somehow protect him, if not by avoiding the blows, then at least by appearing smaller in the irrational hope that it might make him less noticeable to those likely to feel like brutalizing him. With the way he was tied up, he couldn’t really achieve much of a curled up position, but he held his arms glued to his back and pulled his legs closer to his chest, to try and occupy less space on the bed.

He woke up for a few moments repeated times, sweating cold and finding out that he’d been crying in his sleep. Every single time, he found that the hunter was still there, holding him, next to him, and to Kaname’s absolute surprise, that presence that should have made him so much more scared, instead soothed him deeply, maybe because the gentle Zero holding him —illusory as he may be in Kaname’s eyes— and he was a world apart from the cruel Zero from his nightmares, who pressed his face to the ground and mocked his weakness.

It wasn’t the first time that Kaname had dreamed of Zero and of what he inevitably feared would be happening sooner or later, but it was worse today because it all felt so much more real. Each time the hunter in the dreams touched his skin, it was as if a live wire was connected to him, lighting him ablaze with passion and fear together, making him burn with desire, shame, pleasure, pain, fear and a terribly wistful need, so deep and so painfully bittersweet that he broke down in tears even harder.

I want it so badly… I want you to do anything you want to me… but I’m just so desperately sure that you’ll inevitably destroy me instead.

That what you may want to do to me is not at all what I’d like it to be…

I’m at the end of my rope, Kiryuu-sama. I can only last so much longer with this fear.

--

The brunet had been very tired, both because of the customers before Zero and because the emotional roller coaster during the hunter’s visit had taken its toll on his already exhausted body, and so he somehow managed to sleep through the night despite the horror within his dreams.

By the time Kaname woke up completely, it was early in the morning, and he found himself tightly held by the sleeping hunter, who’d continued cradling him gently into his arms throughout the whole time they slept, until his protective warmth finally won over Kaname’s fears and penetrated his dreams, making the nightmares fade away and allowing the pureblood at least some measure of restful sleep before the morning.
Kaname understood suddenly that this was what had banished the darkness away from his sleep, but he came to the realization while still half awake, and promptly blushed fiercely, almost holding his breath by fear of awakening the man and putting an end to such a precious moment.

Now that the peacefulness of the morning and the hunter’s gentle embrace lulled him into an unexpected sense of safety, he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it all, not only of the events of the previous night but even of the horrible dreams that he was certain held a measure of truth or another, if anything for what was bound to happen once the hunter inevitably grew tired of the game he was playing. In Kaname’s eyes, it was inevitable that the hunter would do so, sooner or later, and few things horrified him more than that idea.

But at least, it seemed that Kiryuu-sama didn’t plan to break him just yet, otherwise he would never have passed the perfect chance he’d inadvertently given him.
Kaname burrowed closer into Zero’s embrace, nuzzling his chest almost out of instinct, from how touched and unsettled he was by the man’s gentleness when he’d least expected it. He was past finding himself foolish or weak for needing the embrace of a man who would sooner or later destroy him— he needed Zero far too much regardless.

The nightmares of the previous night seemed like an increasingly far away thing now, and although the memory of them still made the pureblood’s hands feel cold and clammy, it was difficult to focus on them much when he was surrounded by so much warmth. His mental barriers half-melting and half-shattering down, Kaname sighed contentedly against the hunter’s chest, his eyes wet.
Zero stirred slightly, tickled by the warm breath against his skin and waking up to find an adorable brunet blushing in his arms.

“Hey there…” Zero whispered softly, unable to resist bringing up his hand to caress the brunet’s mussed hair, pushing the strands out of his face and marveling at how particularly cute Kaname looked with his bed-hair and that embarrassed expression on his face. Of course, the presence of the ball-gag still in place made Zero feel an immediate spike of guilt, and so he was quick to slide down the covers a bit and unclasp the restraints holding Kaname’s arms behind his back. The pureblood then took over the rest, removing the gag from his face and so on.

As it turned out, Kaname’s towel had come undone during the night, but Zero busied himself with other things while the pureblood stole surprised glances at him and rewrapped his nudity –not that Zero hadn’t seen Kaname’s body countless times already, but the two were still shy from the incident the previous night, and stepping on eggshells.

By the time Zero looked back at Kaname, the pureblood had already securely retied his towel around himself, had removed the ball-gag from his mouth, and was working on the restraint tying his ankle shackles to the bed. To Zero’s shock, the delicate corners of Kaname’s mouth were raw as if they’d been burned or if the skin had been torn by something, on each corner of the pureblood’s lips, where the leather and the metal of the larger buckles connecting to the ball itself had chaffed his skin. Looking closer, they were actually full-blown bruises already darkening where the blood had spilled under the skin, but the area that the metal and leather had rubbed hardest against was torn and raw almost to the point of bleeding.
The pureblood looked at him inquisitively, realizing what the hunter was staring at, and his expression turned apologetic, in an automatic reaction as if he was to blame for his wounds somehow displeasing Zero. The type of people Kaname was used to interact with made that the pureblood didn’t realize that Zero’s shock came from the guilt of indirectly causing those wounds, and not from displeasure directed at Kaname himself.

If Zero had been the one to put the ball-gag in place, things might have been different, but because Kaname had been the one to do it, and the pureblood’s training had deeply and brutally ingrained in his mind the idea that restraints were to always be tightened to the point of discomfort and beyond, the gag had been strapped extremely tight, causing the chaffing to be particularly bad on such a long time wearing it. Sadly, it hadn’t even occurred to the pureblood to tie it more loosely, because of how used he was to always have people tightening it to that same uncomfortable setting. The leather strap had a distinct crease in the usual spot, so he simply slid it to that point and buckled it. In fact, if he’d tightened it less, he’d have been afraid of forming a new crease in another spot, and getting punished by a handler later when they inspected his material and noticed that he hadn’t been strapping it as tight as he was supposed to.
It was also why even now, Kaname didn’t quite understand what was going through Zero’s head, or that the hunter was blaming himself for Kaname having gotten hurt, and not actually looking at him in disapproval as Kaname had assumed.

Zero took one of Kaname’s hands into his, gently but firmly, and the pureblood froze a little in apprehension, but before Kaname could ask what he should do or what Zero wanted, the hunter had unbuckled and removed the leather wrist-shackle, to find a similar burn there, although not as angry looking as the one on the delicate skin of the pureblood’s face, so close to his soft lips.
Kaname's wrists and ankles were permanently bruised because those shackles were worn almost constantly even when not strapped to other restraints, but Zero could easily tell that the reddened area was fresh and caused by the previous night and not just part of the older bruises.

The skin under the body of the wrist-shackle was also slightly chaffed, the areas at the edge of the large thick leather strap being more noticeably bruised, the fresher marks contrasting with the older ones. Kaname’s pallor and his delicate skin, allied to his slowed healing due to the anti-vampire drugs, made that anything left marks on his skin very easily. That was something that delighted the customers of the ‘house’, but seeing the bruises and the scraps only saddened Zero.

Raising the pureblood’s wounded wrist to his lips, Zero softly kissed the area more freshly hurt, and Kaname gasped in surprise, his breath catching in his throat at how unexpected the hunter’s gesture had been. Little shivers ran through his body with each of the feather-like touches of the hunter’s lips.

Zero continued kissing all around the bruised area, and Kaname shuddered hard, his face taking on an attractive shade as his body automatically reacted to the sensations. The brunet was glad that the towel and the coverlet still hid him enough that the hunter didn’t see the effect his lips over the vampire’s skin were having; Kaname’s nipples had distinctly hardened, and only the years of traumatic training made that another part of his body didn’t follow in the same direction.

The hunter had meanwhile undone the shackle on Kaname’s other wrist and, finding it equally bruised, had proceeded to kiss it better as well.

The pureblood did all he could to avoid squirming or whimpering embarrassingly. He was absolutely transfixed by Zero’s course of action, and while he did not understand why a hunter would lower himself to kiss a slave’s wounded wrists, he was still deeply touched by the gesture, and vampire anatomy being what it was, it was quite pleasurable –wrists were a sensitive place for them, much like all places with a higher blood flow close to the surface of the skin.
While much of what the hunters said about vampire sexuality was mere propaganda to further debase the race, it was true that their bodies had considerably more erogenous zones than a human’s body. It was even truer for the higher ranks, as the sensitivity increased considerably based on the purity of the vampire’s blood. A level D or C might not have cared that much more than a human for kisses on his or her wrists, but for a pureblood it was quite something.

And so each time Zero’s lips returned to the underside of Kaname’s wrists, the brunet almost twitched from the attempt of not letting the pleasure show openly on his face, afraid of what might come out of it. But however much Kaname may try to hide it, the heated glaze taking over his eyes, the way his knees shook slightly, his toes curling against the bedsheets, all of his demeanor, stemming part from the uncertainty he felt about Zero’s intentions and part from the innocent awe he felt at the pure pleasure radiating from his skin each time the hunter’s lips touched it… there was no way Zero could miss it, and no way he could find it anything other than adorable. Inevitably, to the point that he was tempted to do more than merely caress the brunet’s wrists with his lips –and if he reacted that way to the brushing of lips, how much more pleasure would he get from the hunter licking his wrists instead…?

Afraid that if he stayed much longer he might succumb to temptation and push things so much farther than he should, Zero gently broke the contact and got up from the bed, after placing one more gentle kiss on each of the pureblood’s bruised wrists.

An apologetic look in his eyes, Zero picked up his jacket and whispered a regretful ‘I have to go…’ in guise of explanation.

Caution thrown aside, Kaname walked him to the door and couldn’t help but ask, suddenly afraid of the answer being negative. “Will you come back tonight, Kiryuu-sama?”

The hunter hesitated for a second, but smiled and nodded. “I will. Unless something happens, I definitely will. I will probably come by late though.”

Ichiru might be coming back from his gig on that other city tonight, and he’d probably be rather displeased if he got home to find it empty of both family and food, so Zero was planning to be home just to receive his brother and have dinner with him before rushing back to the ‘house’.

Even if neither of them was very sure of what was going on or how to face each other after the events of the previous night. And even if it was completely stupid to come here and take the risk of being tempted to do something to Kaname again.

Speaking of temptations he couldn’t resist… Unsure of whether what he was doing was utterly foolish or the right thing, Zero leaned closer, gently sliding his fingers through the pureblood's brown tresses, and softly pressed his lips on the corner of Kaname's mouth, almost touching his lips. Carefully, almost as if he feared the other was made of glass and might break at the slightest sudden movement, the hunter chastely kissed one and then the other of the larger bruises left by the ball-gag.

“If there’s one thing I didn’t want, it’s to give you any more bruises than you already have.”

Zero had meant that as so much more than just a comment on the physical bruises left by shackles and other such things. He was dreadfully afraid that his acts in the shower the previous night might have made the pureblood afraid of him, and he was quite surprised by Kaname’s reply that followed.

“Kiryuu-sama… I think I… I welcome bruises from you.”

The brunet shook slightly, both ashamed and relieved with the confession. He’d wanted to say so much more, something far deeper, ‘I welcome anything from you, even pain…’, but he’d been afraid of what it would inevitably imply, completely true as it may be.

He already knew that his soul belonged to the hunter standing in front of him, but he was inevitably scared that admitting it aloud might cause even more of a disgrace, by speeding up his ruin, informing the hunter that the game he was playing was no longer necessary since his prey was completely and utterly under his charm.
A part of him distinctly feared that if the hunter knew that, these blissful moments would immediately end, the mask of gentleness no longer needed and discarded aside.

It was paradoxical perhaps, but Kaname didn’t fear bruises from Zero because the hunter was always so gentle and caring with him –if the silver haired man had been as cruel and brutal as all the others, he wouldn’t be the same person Kaname had fallen for, and as such, it wouldn’t feel quite the same way.

Although Kaname was afraid that if this went on much longer, he might fall for Zero deeply enough that he’d continue welcoming anything from him even after the hunter revealed his true face. Even if the only thing coming from Zero then were to be abuse instead of gentle touches. Now that was a dreadful thought, and one Kaname sadly knew was much too likely to happen.
The pureblood swallowed dry, wondering if he should take back his words and apologize, but Zero hushed him gently, pressed his chin up with a finger and brought his lips closer again, as if to kiss the bruises once more. For a strange moment that seemed to last much longer than the few seconds it actually lasted, both man and vampire stayed in that position, not daring to move, foreheads almost touching, lips a breath away from each other, Zero’s thumb caressing Kaname’s cheek gently, tracing the line where the length of the leather straps of the ball-gag had slightly burned the pureblood’s delicate skin, leaving a red welt across his cheeks and undefined bruises where the different metal buckles had rubbed more, from the corner of his lips all the way to his ear. Each time the hunter exhaled, soft wafts of air caressed the pureblood’s trembling lips.

Kaname was holding his breath, heart hammering in his chest, the hunter’s body warmth practically touching the skin of his face, unless the heat he was feeling was from the renewed color rising to his own cheeks.

After what seemed like an eternity, Zero pulled away regretfully, with one last caress to the vampire’s bruised skin.

The hunter turned around after meeting the pureblood’s gaze for only a second and whispering a quick ‘take care’, then the door closed shut and Kaname stood in front of it for a long while, staring at the wooden frame as if he could follow the hunter walking down the corridor, just by listening to his footsteps.

Had Kiryuu-sama been about to... but that's impossible?! No one would ever do that with a slave...

Kaname’s shaking fingers rose to press onto his lips where he could almost still feel the warmth of the other’s breath, caressing his skin, inviting and soothing.

Impossible… impossible, of course.

And yet… I’d have given so much for him to have stayed one instant longer, and have pressed his lips against mine…

Impossible as such a dream may be…

He slid down to squat by the door with his arms around his knees, pressing his forehead against the wood, unsure whether his heart felt like bursting from happiness from the hunter’s touch or from despair at how impossible it all was.

The overwhelming truth that Kaname had come to realize earlier rang in his mind like an inalterable sentence echoing with the sound of each of the hunter’s footsteps disappearing down the corridor.

Even if you were to betray me, I wouldn’t mind, Kiryuu-sama…

Back when he was a child, he’d never expected he’d one day feel that way about anyone but Yuuki. And even though he was now certain that even if he somehow ever became free again—something impossible in itself—, he was far too tainted to ever be worthy of standing near her… it still came as a surprise that his heart could possibly be capable of feeling that way for someone other than her.
But then, Zero always seemed to cause the impossible within his heart.

A part of the pureblood couldn’t help but think that maybe it was meant to be. That fate had led this man on his path, either to give him some respite before his utter doom, or simply to destroy him. He sniffled, leaning his head against the door.

The more he thought about it, the more he felt that it was both painful and strangely freeing.

On one hand, it meant he was completely at the hunter’s mercy, his for Zero to break or fix as he pleased, which was a frightening idea, but on another hand, it was dangerously delightful, to know that he had someone that he felt so strongly for that he could actually think such a thing and know it was the truth. And being destroyed by Zero could only be less horrible than living at Ichiou’s mercy, no…?
Only the future would be able to tell whether this would be his doom or whether he’d be able to survive such a dangerous attachment to someone who was born to be his natural enemy at best or his tormentor at worst.

He was surprised that he didn’t notice right away how hard he was crying, until he saw the tears dripping onto the ground between his feet, the drops making the wet wood darker and contrasting with the rest of the boards.

.

.

Down the corridor, Zero hurried away, a tint of red on his face as his mind turned the question over and over, his older and still deeply ingrained instincts inevitably accusing him.

Had he been about to kiss a vam-… no, to kiss Kaname’s lips just now?!

But wasn’t it so utterly against nature and unforgivable?!

And yet, giving his blood to him, or to a smaller measure even simply holding him gently as he did so often… would have been considered terribly shocking and unforgivable as well, wouldn’t it? So, did it really matter…?

He wasn’t quite sure what had been about to happen between them a moment ago, but he was sure of one thing, unfair as it may be.

Whatever may have been about to happen was impossible, terribly and utterly impossible.

And yet… he wished so badly that he could just turn around, stride back to the pureblood’s room, swing that door open, sweep him off his feet and kiss him senseless, until Kaname was too busy to think of all the horrible things all the others had done to him.

If he wasn’t so sure of the significant risk that he could very much do those exact same things to Kaname himself –even if less violently— Zero might even have put that idea in practice for real. But as he didn’t trust himself enough, he simply breathed a sigh heavy of wistfulness and rushed down the stairs to the ground floor.

.

So small a wish, yet so painfully unattainable...

.

.

.

[tbc]

The title of this chapter comes from the song “Lose You Tonight” (although the original line is “I’m not gonna lose you tonight”, but I wanted to have it said from Kaname’s viewpoint and I think he might have said “going to” instead of “gonna”, in the context XD). And as always for CoB, it is a song by the band HIM. :D
Gotta LOVE the “Thulsa Doom” extended version of that song!!

There’s a bit of a step forward for them in this chapter, though they’re both still hesitant and slow with all their uncertainties, as they usually are in CoB… they need a bit of an exterior push from a third part sometime. ;)

Incidentally “I want someone to tie me up” is truly a line Kaname has said in canon VK! XD Although he was speaking metaphorically then… but it was still such a delicious moment. 8D

Zero has started to realize just how irresistible Kaname is, and how dangerously close he himself is to doing something that might shatter the brunet’s trust in him… And yet, depending on how he went at it, it might be just as soothing as his other caresses, but with Kaname’s certainty that Zero intends to break him sooner or later, and Zero’s black-or-white view of things telling him that touching Kaname that way would be doing the same the other people are doing, neither of them is in the position to make any good decisions without possibly dramatic consequences. :X
Unless fate maybe takes things out of their hands and introduces a bit of an exterior element of surprise to throw things out of their slow hesitant wanderings… ;)

And btw, in chapter 18 there was a bit more about why Zero didn't want to sleep at the 'house'. It's not that Kaname could actually cause much harm to Zero considering how powerful of a hunter Zero is and how weakened Kaname is because of the anti-vampire drugs, but basically, if for whatever reason Kaname got in bloodlust and somehow managed to hurt Zero, even if just a bit, and someone found out, Kaname would probably be executed. Any slave harming a hunter is put to death.
There's that, and the whole taboo... hence why Zero ended up, in the heat of the situation, accepting Kaname's idea of strapping him to the bed. Although of course, things would have gone differently if Zero had known beforehand that Kaname would get hurt from tossing around in the leather stuff all night. :X

NOTE: If you are wondering why Zero and Kaname both behave slightly differently than they do in VK, it's because while they are still the same people, they have lived very different lives from the ones they had in the normal VK storyline, so it inevitably influenced their outlook of the world and the way they react to various things:

Zero still grew up among hunters, but he wasn't present at the death of his parents, and was never turned into a vampire, so his hatred for the whole species never went to the extremes it has in the series. (The death of his parents was a tragedy, but the memory of the war was still somewhat recent too, Zero didn't lose everything like he had in normal VK, and as a result in the end it didn't have exactly the same effect.)
Imagine the sweet and gentle Zero we’ve seen in flashbacks with Ichiru etc, and how he might have turned out to be if he’d grown up more self-assured and without the self-loathing and anger of turning into a vampire.

Kaname on the other hand, is of course still a pureblood and in part influenced by the way he was raised, but he has also been a slave for the past ten years, and is much too used to being beaten for no reason, so by now he knows to put up a mask of fake submission, and is a lot more careful than he was when he'd just been captured.
On top of that, Kaname didn't go through the same things he did in the manga, so he didn't get used as much to the same type of powergames and mental struggles from the same type of more cold/calculating viewpoint. The type of abuse he's suffered after the war was a lot more direct and lacking in subtlety.

To give a more exact idea: take the innocent and trusting Kaname from the flashbacks in the manga (yes, that same Kaname that chairman Cross would say was so innocent and each time cutely fell for whatever story the chairman made up), and then imagine how he might turn out if instead of having had to learn to manipulate people under his authority, he was captured while still innocent and gentle, and was completely traumatized by years of slavery and constant abuse. (I'm going with the setting that vampires hit puberty earlier than humans, for survival reasons.)

Keep in mind this is AU, so a lot of the settings are different, some just a little, others a lot, so of course that inevitably affects how the characters are, even if they are still the same characters. ;D Certain details change.