CHAPTER 17

A/N: I apologise for the massive delay. I accidentally deleted the main document containing material for the next chapters – lots of material. I had a backup which I had not updated for a long time, so I lost about 15 pages full of text for future chapters. This put a damper on my writing – and I ended up with a nasty bout of writer's block. Luckily, I managed to beat down the block :-)

You were gentle. Very gentle. Absurdly gentle for a man of your temperament and disposition. You kept your eyes closed throughout, and when you opened them, I saw just how much you had suffered. How much you had been raped.

Severus was lying silently next to Harry, eyes shut, one hand absent-mindedly cupping the youth's shoulder. There was something protective about the gesture – something caring, and Harry did not flinch away from the strangely reassuring pressure on his shoulder. In that moment, when something had just ended and just started, they both needed each other. Physically, Harry had hardly felt anything during the act – just Severus's thrusting and the numb friction caused thereby. Severus had kept his eyes closed throughout the process, trying to summon the climax which was necessary to validate their bond with images of bygone "lovers", if he could call them thus. And now, lying next to his husband, he found himself marvelling at his husband's undaunted perseverance; his calm; his growing maturity.
Harry's shoulder was firm underneath his palm. He felt a hand on his waist, startling him with its warmth and consideration. His eyes snapped open. Harry's face was very close to his, the green eyes looking at him with compassion instead of revulsion. And the pain...the pain from his arm...had vanished completely. In fact, as he moved his eyes from Harry's face to his own arm and chest, he saw that all traces of the Dark Mark's curse had gone – and the brand itself was but a pale pattern against his skin. The strangest feelings and thoughts rushed through his mind, and he sought Harry's eyes again. He moistened his lips.

"You..." Again his tongue ran over his lips, and he squeezed Harry's shoulder very awkwardly.

"You have saved my life. I owe you my thanks, Harry." Severus stared at his arm again and resumed, "I was in agony; no doubt my demise would have been a rather disagreeable experience."

Harry was not sure how to react to what he considered rather uncharacteristic behaviour from Severus. He reached for his quill and sucked at the tip.

See? It wasn't that bad after all, his quill finally scribbled. Severus read the words and actually laughed.

"No. It wasn't that bad after all," he agreed dryly; then, abruptly, "Are you feeling any discomfort?"

Harry shook his head. Severus watched him narrowly, as if mistrusting the gesture.

"It seems that when you really make an effort, you can perform Telepathy. You require plenty of practice. Your performance was very sloppy," the Potions Master continued.

It was urgent, Harry answered.

"Indeed," Severus commented succinctly, raising an eyebrow. Harry smiled; he was quite used to that raised eyebrow. On the other hand, he was speculating that it was only a matter of seconds until Severus kicked – or hexed – him out of his bed. He started to fold back the sheet which was lying across his chest. His robes were still wrapped around his middle – Severus, he noted, had taken care not to derange them during the consummation, ensuring that Harry's dignity was not thrust aside completely.

"Ah, yes, you will want to return to your own bed, of course," Severus remarked, and the acrid bitterness which laced the words was reflected in his black eyes. "An entirely understandable wish. We have done our duty."

Harry turned to Severus and sucked the quill again.

I apologise. I didn't want to hurt you. I just didn't want to take away your privacy.

Severus uttered a hollow laugh.

"My husband, marriage equals the destruction of privacy."

I disagree. Marriage implies renegotiation of privacy.

Severus snorted.

"One would think that you had been married before. Several times," he snapped, his sharp temper returning, "Or has Miss Granger been tutoring you?"

I do not believe in arguing in bed, Harry answered and got out of bed briskly, quickly disentangling his robes from around his middle and pulling them over his head and body.
He bowed his head to button up his robes. When he raised his eyes, his gaze was diverted and captured by the smouldering dark eyes of his husband. Severus was watching him like a hawk, and the expression in those black eyes was burning with what Harry could only call desire. The thin cheeks were flushed; and one long-fingered hand was clutching the sheets. Severus Snape, accomplished Occlumens, worthy opponent of Voldemort, found himself exposed to the charms of his teenage husband – and Harry was oblivious that he possessed such charms, which made the whole situation even more intriguing for the Potions Master. Severus caught himself, and the usual mask of coolness and impassiveness slid over his eyes, shuttering away his feelings. He gestured languidly at Harry's parchment and quill.

"Do not forget your writing utensils, Potter," he said and climbed out of the bed, naked. Harry watched his tall thin figure move towards the adjoining bathroom. The door closed behind Severus with a brief snap. Harry went over to the bed and collected his quill, parchment and glasses. He could see the indentations and creases left in the bedclothes by his and Severus's bodies. Such distant intimacy, he mused and stretched out his hand, as if to smoothen out some of the wrinkles; a Petunian habit, actually, acquired from years of doing all the household chores while living with the Dursleys. He withdrew his hand and left the room silently, barefoot, his heart thudding in his ears, his cheeks on fire, as if the entire pent-up nervousness of the last thirty minutes was finally breaking over him in a released wave. He recalled Severus's eyes locking with his in that scorching stare after he, Harry, had finished dressing. He headed straight for the bathroom, suddenly feeling exhausted.