Disclaimer:

Lea-chan- Ok another crack fanfic…yes we were actually playing Mario Party 5 and thinking of a story at the same time

Jeh-kun- Sadly this is what we typed…but hey it was fun!

Lea-chan- Yeah considering I whipped your butt!

Jeh-kun- You wana take this outside?!

Lea-chan- Bring it on!

(Hears video game noises)

Lea-chan- JUMP DAMN YOU! (Player-Mario)

Jeh-kun- KICK HIS BUTT TO THE CURB! (Player- Peach)

SK- Snoopykid

DD- Demonddancer

Video Game Battle Royal

Once again it was rainy and nasty out and the palace was filled with the atmosphere that said ‘kill me now for I am bored’. It was like that until a few moments ago when a few Sailor Scouts wanted revenge for the indignity the Queen performed on them.

“How are we going to get Serena back?” Rei asked still feeling her sanity somewhat not with her.

“I have the perfect idea.” Ami said slyly, “We’ll fight fire with fire and don’t worry this will be fun.”

In the next few moments the royal family and Helios was in the game room, “What’s that?”

“I figured why not spend the evening playing video games the old fashioned way. I happened to find the Game Cube and-” Helios was cut off by Serena

“Hey that’s my Game Cube and is that my Mario Party 5?” She asked taking the case out of his hands, “Were did you get this?”

“I found it…Ami suggested that we play and she gave it to me…she said it was your favorite after the Sailor V game.” He replied with a shrug.

“Ok we’ll play a friendly game but I will warn you all right now I can be a little competitive.” Serena said

“How competitive can you get? I’ve seen you play Sailor V before.” Darien said taking a silver controller

“Yeah mom; remember in the arcade? You nearly broke the machine.” Rini said taking a purple controller smiling at the thought

“Oh honey you never seen me play Mario Party 5? I will make Beryl look like a saint.” Serena said grabbing her gold controller

“Well we’ll see about that. Rini my love I might say or do things if I’m caught up in the moment so I apologize in advance.” Helios said turning on the game system and taking up his blue controller.

Outside the room the Scouts had gathered with the video camera and already the atmosphere had changed from ‘kill me now I’m bored’ to ‘your ass is going down!’

“Suddenly this doesn’t seem like a good idea,” Mina said, “Serena is already too competitive with Sailor V. Remember when I beat her high score in the arcade? She not only broke the machine but I couldn’t sit down for a week.”

“Yeah but really this is a great joke and besides no one can beat her at Mario Party 5 anyway. What are the chances?” Ami said and now the games began.

Helios set up the game and everyone was about to choose their characters. Serena chose Peach and Rini chose Daisy. But unfortunately the boys were about to go to the respective pairs for the princesses but some one hit the start button by accident. Helios got Mario and Darien got Luigi.

“Damn it!” Helios said, “I wanted Luigi!”

“And I wanted Mario! Crap mushrooms!” Darien complained

“Well this will be interesting…” Serena said to Rini with a glint in her eye

“Yes I think it will be too! But hahaha I get daddy!” Rini laughed and stuck her tongue out

“I got Helios!” Serena stuck her tongue out too. The boys were at lost.

The first round was pretty much boring until Rini’s controller vibrated on her lap, “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” Rini exclaimed a little creped out and jumped up.

“Oops I forgot the setting on that one is on extra vibrate mode.” Serena said blushing.

“Why would you want that on extra vibrating?” Helios asked.

“This is going to sound wrong in so many ways but I like the vibrating. It’s like getting a hand massage.” She replied

“Mom that did sound wrong.” Rini said picking the controller back up.

The Elder Star dude came up after everyone had their turn and the first game of the night was Flower Shower mini game.
“Oh yeah I rock at this one!” Serena exclaimed, “Prepare to cry in defeat!”

Outside with the camera, “Ok folks this is what the Queen and the family does on their spare time…small children should run!” Rei said into the camera holding up her fingers in a victory sign.

“Are we seriously making a documentary thing? I thought this was pay back?” Lita said to Ami.

“Oh it is pay back but this would be great on youtube.”

The game started and the winner…Mario loser everyone else.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” Serena yelled causing the palace to shake, “YOU CHEATED SOME HOW!”

“Why me cheat?” Helios asked innocently, “How could you even think that?”

“Why you-” Serena was about to strangle him but Darien said, “its ok he won’t get the star.”

Once again their characters went and Helios landed on the star and got it, “ALRIGHT!”

“No frickin’ way!”

The next mini game came up Ice cream. They ran around the large ice cream cones and the end results:

Serena exclaimed proudly, “I got one!”

“I got eight!” Rini said sticking out her tongue

“Never would I see the day Serena didn’t catch the most ice creams,” Darien said, “Surly Crystal Tokyo is coming to an end.”

Serena punched him in the arm.

Turns went by without incident with the exception of a few insults. But it only intensified even more when it was Luigi vs. everyone in the Space Ship game.

“Move damn it! I want to catch daddy!” Rini yelled while Helios and Serena’s space ship kept crashing into her.

Time ran out and Darien won that round. Serena sighed and said, “Remember last time you had a dad complex…you tried to kill us.”

“I STILL WANT HIM!!” She yelled

“Doesn’t anyone want me?” Helios pouted like a wounded puppy.

The family ignored him.

Darien landed on the Donkey Kong bonus space-

“No!” Helios hollered, “I wanted Donkey Kong!! Stupid Luigi!!!

Darien turned to glare at his long time, since the Silver Millennium friend, “What was that boy?”

Helios laughed nervously, “Great turn?”

“That’s what I thought you said.” Dairen replied

DD

this is my first insert. ill finish when i have time......sunday night i think???? are you coming over saturday??

One character had unfortunately landed on a Donkey Kong space. As DK stood before the helpless green character a game was chosen to beat barrels and get bananas in return. Each banana would equal a certain amount of coins. The game ended shortly with an ecstatic queen jumping up and down doing victories chide.

“I GOT THE MOST WOOOOO WOOOO!” Serena said bouncing her hips till Darien pulled at her elbow making her sit down.

“ OD reaction mommy if u wanted a banana why not go in the kitchen!” Rini said with a raised eyebrow

“I don’t need to!” Serena said with a sit-eating-grin eyes directed at Darien.

“Damn it! Wrong turn at Alberkerkie!” Helios said as he looked at the final tally and no one knew what to say.

“Guys I kind of feel guilty about doing this, I am sooooo embarrassed for them.” Lita said stiffening a laugh.

“Please I haven’t seen Serena let go this much since before you-know-what happened.” Rei pointed out.

“Plus we need restitution!” Mina cried out.

The next round went with a few bumps but it ended with a four way mini game to decide the winner of the round. The Monkey Childcare Game came up on the scream and Serena smiled.

“I am sooo good at rounding up little brats.” Serena said at she pressed start and picked up a silver monkey bringing it to its look-a-like mother-thing.

“Yea, but it seems that I am better at it!” Rini said proudly as she had taken the win for the game. It wasn’t long before the rounds started Luigi had gone first and landed on a blue circle and Peach went next landing on a blue, but during Mario’s turn he had the option to steal coins from another player. So with a large grin he pressed the “A” button and Serena let out a scream as Peach had lost ten coins.

“Why you piece of shit!” Serena hollered.

“Honey it is only a game.” Darien reminded her and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath sitting back down.

The game was at the half way point and the Status of the LAST 5 scores was placed across the board.

In 4th place: Luigi had only 62 coins

In 3rd place: Daisy had only 83 coins

In 2nd place: Peach had 1 star and 48 coins

In 1st place: Mario had 1 star and 78 coins

Things started to look up for the players but Mario just couldn’t stay away from Donkey Kong and had ended up making everyone loss 5 coins. Sadly Daisy had tried in desperation to gain an extra point or two by placing a trap using a Koopa Bank space, but forgot how to count and ende up robbing herself of her money.

“well that was smart!” Helios said off-handedly

“ Remember who you are talking to!” Rini said with fury in her eye.

The next mini game was Rock Squashier where it was three against one. Mario was a small rock trying to avoid the larger Peach, Luigi and Daisy. The clock ran down to the last twenty second and Helios had stood before the TV shaking his bottom sing MC Hammer’s ‘Can’t Touch This’.

“Dun Dun Nuh Nuh! Can’t touch this! Dun Dun Dun Dun, Nah, Nah! CAN’T SQUISH M-“ His jaw dropped as this small block was clobbered by a large pink bolder.

“I smashed it!” Serena let out a cruel laugh.

“Damn it!” Helios cursed.

Serena had taken her turn and a large stretch when Darien said “Oh, no.” Rini watched as Helio’s character started to incroch on the same space that Serena had Peach. Closing their eyes a duel began.

“Pay back time!” Helios said as Rini placed her hands on her eyes she didn’t want to watch.

“I DIDN’T HAVE TO PAY ANYTHING SO NAH!” Serena called out as the dews were paid. It didn’t take long for Serena to loss.

“I WIN NAH TAKE THAT OLD MAID!” Helios had found himself jumping on couch and pointing at Serena while laughing at her.

“You are so exiled after I kick your ass!” Serena said as she took up her controller in all seriousness.

“It’s just a game!” Darien said trying to calm her down.

“YOU TOO ARE EXLIED!” She said in furry!

“Mommy?” Rini wanted to point out that it was just a game as well, but got shut down quick!”

“ YOU WANT OUT TOO!?” Serena threatened. The end results: Mario won and recived 50 coins and a star!

“Not a word out of you boy!” Serena said in raged.

“I have two ha-ha.” He stuck out his tongue and Serena tried to claw out his throat with her perfectly manicured hands.

SK

The family decided to take a break to have a snack. After all how can you play on an empty stomach?

“Wow talk about intense!” Lita said shivering, “Never have I seen Serena so competitive! She does make Beryl look like a saint!”

“Well we can forget youtube lets send this to CNN!” Rei said over joyed

“Dude I think we should end this before someone gets hurt!” Ami tried to reason

“This was your idea!” Mina yelled

“I didn’t think she would get this bad! And Helios…OMG!” Ami exclaimed.

“Yeah Helios is whooping her butt! I didn’t know that kid had game skills like that! She’s kicking her to the curb!”

They hear sounds coming from the hall and they hide under Ami’s newest invisibility cloaking device. They followed the family back into the game room and Mina whispered to Ami, “Why did we have to stand outside if you had this?”

“I forgot about it in the mix of the excitement.” She responded quietly. The family turned back to the game and the mini game Pushy Penguins appeared.

Rini and Darien’s characters failed and all that was left was Serena and Helios.

“Come on!” Helios yells at Mario, “Get between them you idiot!”

“I hate the big penguins!” Serena whines

Helios got cornered at the end of the Iceberg and falls off, “WHAT THE HELL?!”

“OH YEAH! I’M MAKING A COMBACK!” Serena exclaims while doing a booty dance in front of Helios. Because no words could describe this moment everyone was pretty much: O.o

“Can we edit this part before it gets to CNN?” Mina whispered to Ami.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Ami responded.

Helios saw the results from the game and points out, “You’re still dead last so NAH!” He stuck his tongue out and Serena glares at him.

“Daddy are we like totally forgotten? Are we not worthy of being bantered like they are doing to each other?” Rini asked feeling a little left out that her boyfriend and mother are not making fun of them for some reason.

“At least her attention is diverted from us so it might me a good thing.” Darien responded.

Serena’s turn came and she landed one space away from the star, “How could I be one space away?” She started to whine again.

Helios’s turn came and he once again landed on the star, “HELL TO THE YEA! TAKE THAT AND PUT IT IN YOUR APPLE JUICE AND SUCK IT QUENNY!!!” Mario still moves and lands on Donkey Kong. The result…, “I GOT 20 COINS BACK FROM DK! DK I LOVE YOU!”

“I-I thought you loved me…” Rini starts to cry at the loss of her love.

“Darien do something!” Serena starts to shake him and yells in his face, “SUE SOMEONE!”

“I thought you exiled me?” He asked taking her hands off of him.

“YOUR UNEXILED JUST KICK HIS SCRONEY ASS!” Serena ordered with pure-unadulterated-pg13-rage, eyes flashing like a really bad lighting storm.

The camera was still rolling as the Scouts had no comment as to what to say except, “Screw CNN how about Fox. This can go on the five o’clock news. CNN is too informative. Fox is actiony. ” Rei suggested brightly.

They just nodded.

Hotel Mushroom came and went with…you guessed it! Mario as the victor!

“Boo yeah!” Helios pounded his fist in the air.

“I failed you honey.” Darien hung his head in shame.

Serena pulled out a stack of papers out of nowhere and started to fill them out, “I want a divorce.”

Rini is still upset about the loss of her lover, “How could you? DK promised me his love,” And she starts to sing, “Cheater, Cheater, where’d u meet down at Mario party suite.”

“Ok forget the action we should make a Soap Opera!” Mina said laughing quietly.

“Drama, Love, Betrayal, Anger, and Resentment,” Lita listed, “It’s all here!”

“Love it!” Rei, Ami, and Mina cheered silently

“Should this go to ABC the home of Soap Operas?” Lita wondered.

“Depends how much they are willing to pay us.” Mina replied.

Darien uses the twister capsule to move the star.

“Damn It! He moved the damn star!” Helios yelled in outrage.

“I finally did something right!” Darien exclaimed like a little boy who got a gold star on his test paper with a smiley face, “Honey you can take the papers back.” He said to Serena who just finished filling them out.

Serena hugged him, “Oh baby I’m proud of you!” She let go of him and said in a monotone voice, “But you still have to kick that kid’s ass!!”

The game went on to a mini game called Tube it or lose it!

“did that just say lube it or lose it?” Serena asked with her purvey mind running amuck.

“yes mom I will make sure to lu-“ Helios said with a large grin but ended up with a fist clutching his throat. He looked to into Darien’s dangerous looking eyes.

“ if u finish that sentence you are sooooooo exiled!” Darien growled.

“lube what? I don’t get it?” Rini asked in all innocence getting completely ignored.

“You don’t need to hear such vulgar things, love.” Serena clutched Rini’s head to her chest.

“Of course you spare you husband and child!” Helios said agitatedly rubbing his neck after Darien had released him.

“ NAH! But I killed you having to do all the work on my own!! As the saying goes ‘if you want something done right; you have to do it yourself!” Serena smiled sweetly.

The results before the final turn were posted and chaos was all around.

In 4th place was Peach with 69 coins

“I love that number!” Serena exclaimed with excitement jumping up and down.

“What’s so special about 69?” Rini wondered looking up at her mother while Helios slapped his forehead.

“Must we scar the child so early?” Darien asked

“Too late hun. Rocky did that already.” Serena replied

“And all those toture videos too don’t forget.” Helios added

In 3rd place was Luigi with 1 star and 75 coins.

“Hey not too bad for a college book worm.” Darien said feeling proud of himself for the first time that night from hell.

In 2nd was Daisy with 1 star and 88 coins.

“Woo! I beat you Rini and Darien take that and shove it!” Serena whooped

“Not so fast Queeny look at mine.” Helios pointed out

In 1st was Mario with 3 stars and 97 coins.

“WHAT?!” Serena hollered. She could not believe that she was getting beaten by a boy who clouds himself in other people’s dreams. This was unheard.

“So now I can freely say that you can put that in your apple juice and S-U-C-K I-T!” Helios said.

“I promise you I will have my revenge!” Serena promised standing up and going into her old Sailor Moon stance, “As the champion of Love and Justice I will vaporize you!”

A cool wind blew through the windowless closed off room. It was that “calm” before the storm. The Final showdown had began and the stakes had risen so that all the blue circles would give six points and loss six when landing on red circles.

The mini game had started Peach vs all of the other players in a round of three against one. Quilt for speed had began.

“I hate team work especially with these GOONS!!!” Helios said in outrage!

Rini looked at him in outrage “who are you calling a goon?”

“should I bother polishing my exile boot or kick him with the cracked leathered spikes?” Darien said looking on with an evil glint.

“SPIKES!!!” The girls shouted.

“who’s side are you on?” Helios asked Rini all insulted.

“at this point donkey Kong’s he gave me bananas and money what else can a girl ask for?”

“see she is resorting to a man’s banana for support and stability in a relationship” Darin asked Serena who just smiled and nodded,

“ that is normally due to male figure issues. your territory not mine.” She said with a coy smile.

“but you won meatball for brains!” Helios declared

“I did?! WOO!” Serena cheered!

“Can we say blonde moment?” Helios muttered.

Intermission-

Ami- Sorry but we have to butt in.

Mina- Yes we do!

Rei- So what we decided to do is make our own News cast of Extreme Gaming! We are the reporters.

Lita- That’s right! And now we are going to sum up what is going on! So Ami would you like to start off?

(They all use Lunar Pens to disguise as News people)

Ami- Yes I would! So Ami here from Sailor Scout News, we are live from the palace Game room were there is extreme excitement going on!

Rei- We have just seen some amazing things in there from Ami’s newly developed invisibility cloaking invention and we now have it on tape!

Lita- But we have also heard some not good royalty like things too which we will not repeat!

Mina- But we will give you all highlights from the game later; but right now here is where the winners stand.

(Camera switches to TV mode once again invented by Ami)

Final Results:

Stars:

Darien- 2

Serena- 0

Helios- 4

Rini- 1

Ami- Looks like some unsportsmanlike conduct is going on inside.

(Hears Helios rubbing it in Serena’s face and Serena yelling at Darien who in turn is yelling at Rini which she too is yelling at Helios)

Rei- Anyway here are the Coin Results:

Darien- 59

Serena- 65

Helios- 86

Rini- 97

Lita- It would seem that the princess had a little luck with the coin department. And I guess this is all thanks to DK.

Mina- Yes but here is the Bonus:

Helios won the Mini Games

Helios and Rini won the most coins and stars

Serena and Daisy got the happening on the question mark spaces

Ami, Mina, Lita, and Rei- THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR….OVER ALL: MARIO WINS!!!!!!!

Ami- Thank you for joining us for the Sailor Scout News of Extreme Gaming. Have a nice day!

End Intermission-

The Scouts stood by laughing as they stood outside the door.

“That was great! Now let’s go and upload this on our website!” And they went into Ami’s room.

Meanwhile…

“Damn Straight I won! I’m the Winner! Who’s bad oh yeah! I am!”

He took off his shirt and stood on the coffee table and danced.

Rini is now admiring his six packs and yells, “OH BABY KEEP IT OFF!”

Darien grabs him on the back of the neck, trumps through castle, and tosses him out. Helios yells, “When can I marry Rini and where’s my crown?!”

Darien was about to slam the door when he heard that, “Wait what?”

Serena and Rini ran out to catch up with Darien when they heard Helios’s explanation, “Ami and the girls said I would win the crown and would marry Rini if I won.” He starts to pout.

“You made that up!” Serena yells accusingly at him.

“I swear I didn’t lie! Ask them...wait don’t ask them you’ll take their side and what not…how can I prove this to you?” Helios asks more to himself.

“Then why were you such a jerk?” Rini asked with her arms folded.

“Your mom got extremely competitive and I just feed off the energy.” He said to his defense.

“You called me a goon!” Rini screamed at him as she slammed the palace door in a huff.

“RINI ARE YOU OKAY???” Hotaru ran into Rini giving her a giant hug. The senshi had gathered around to see the commotion.

“I SAW THE NEWS REPORT ABOUT YOUR BATTLE ROYAL MARIO PARTY 5 STYLE!!!! I DIDN’T KNOW THAT HELIOS COULD GET SO COMPETATIVE!!!!”

“News report?” Serena raised her eyebrow to see Amy looking away, Mina scratching the back of her head, Lita shifting her weight from hip to hip and Rei with a shit-eating-grin.

“Princess who leaked the palace secrets?” Michelle asked as she headed into the grand front hall.

“Maybe it was the wonderfully dressed news anchors.” Amara smiled.

“It was a hoot of a video.” Setsuna said from the shadows of the hallway.

“How did you hear about this?” Hotaru asked as everyone turned to her

“I do have the internet you know.” Setsuna said with a shrug

“Outside the Gates or Time?” Amara asked

“Yes I do I’m not primitive. I also have a youtube channel. What else am I suppose to do since I’m not suppose to leave my post?”

“SILENCE!” Dairen called out and all eyes looked at him in horror.

“I DEMAND TO BE TOLD ABOUT THIS VIDEO AND IT’S SOURCE!!!!” Darin’s voice echoed throughout the castle.

SK

“Uhm…well you see…Mina?” Lita said pointing to Mina who now turned five shades of red

“Funny story actually how to explain this lovely chain of events…you see it was like this there was this really random thing happening and we followed a thing to the game room…no wait huh I forgot how it went…Rei?” Mina said now shoving Rei in front the royally pissed King and Queen. Her shit-eating-grin changed to a look of terror and she couldn’t talk right, “Well how to start?”

“Why not explaining this Sailor News Video and how the hell did news anchor people get into the palace. I suggest you spill unless you want me to turn into the evil son of a bitch that I was in the pervious first story, where I blew the TV up?” Serena suggested in an evil tone.

Rei gulped and stuttered, “Ask Ami she is the evil genius!”

“I AM NOT EVIL JUST TECHNOLOGICALLY MISSUNDERSTOOD!!!” Amy said in a pout. “We were just testing out the new editing system!”

“THAT BETTER BE TAKEN DOWN BY THE TIME I COUNT TO 5!!” Darien shouted.

“1.”

“But we don’t know how many people have already viewed and commented.” Lita protested.

“2” Serena joined him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to see it? Watching yourself is really an eye opening experience!” Rei added and hid behind Mina who placed her hands on her hips.

“3” Rini joined in the count of her parents.

“NO.” Mina said, as the others looked at her in horror.

“4” the royal family transformed and looked on menacingly.

“What else are we suppose to do? There is three feet of snow and nothing to do! Plus it was only on a moon palace channel that only people who already know what your like would see!!!! WHAT ELSE ARE WE SUPPOST TO DO WITH OUR SPARE TIME!?!?!” Mina whined.

“5.” They shouted, “COMSMIC INFERNO-” Serena started holding her scepter that appeared and pointing it back as the energy was being released from out of it.

“WE’RE GOING!” They ran from the group

The family detransformed and sighed.

“You know it was kind of funny. Especially with Helios even though I feel sorry for him.” Hotaru said sadly

“What do you mean?” Rini asked confused

“Apparently Ami told him that he would be allowed to marry you if he won the video game.” Hotaru explained touching her friend’s shoulder.

“He wasn’t lying?” Serena asked, “Well I see who’s at fault here and they will be punished. Darien would you please come with me? Thank you girls return to your posts and Rini you have a job to do.”

“You know what he called me a goon so I’m just going to leave him out there to stew on what he had done.”

“But it is -25 degrees out there and he isn’t wearing much!!!” Hotaru protested.

“He’ll be fine, dream boy can manage on his own. His old world was made out of ice.” Rini said heading up the stairs.

Outside the door Helios shivered holding tight to his body for warmth as ice began to engulf him.

TO BE CONTINUED……